#give me avery stress eating because she's never had so much food before and she's scared it'll disappear

[lucien-calore]

avery grambs went from struggling to make ends meet to being a billionaire, so she's bound to gain weight without the constant struggle and the threat of starvation looming over her, and I think we should address that.

[wh0reyp0tter]

Chapter Four: The Truth Will Set You Free

Y/N Y/L/N is chosen as one of the champions in the Triwizard Tournament with one of her best friends, Harry Potter. Along with the struggles of being one of the champions, she also has to navigate her feelings for her best friend, Hermione Granger. But, as far as Y/N knows, Hermione fancies Krum.

Includes: Angst, pining, swearing, wlw, bi!reader (mentions of flirting with men), smut, name-calling, Krum hating, fighting, physical violence, fighting, mentions of injuries, and flirting

______________________________________________________________

Music rings through the Gryffindor Common Room as everyone cheers. I grin at the crowd as I walk through it. I feel people patting me on the back as I come down from changing. I see Hermione standing in the corner next to a girl from the year below us. “Hey ‘Mione!” I call. She looks at me and ignores me as she returns to her conversation. I tap her shoulder, she still ignores me. “If you’ll excuse her.” I say politely to the girl she’s speaking to. I grab her arm before tugging her to a secluded area of the room. 

“What the hell?” Hermione seethes. 

“I wanted to talk to you! You haven’t said a word to me since this morning!” I say in a hushed tone. 

“Has it occurred to you, maybe I don’t want to talk to you right now,” Hermione replies. 

“Why don’t you want to speak to me?” I ask, confused. I hear a voice call my name. I look over to see Avery wave me over. I smile at her as I hold up my pointer finger. 

“That’s why,” Hermione scoffs. 

“What?” I say confused. “Avery?” 

“Yes! Bloody hell, I told you I didn’t trust her,” she replies. 

“You don’t even know her, H,” I argue. 

“I know I don’t like you being with her,” she seethes. 

“What?” I ask. 

“I don’t like you being around her,” Hermione repeats. “It pisses me off! You called her Dove.” Her voice grows quieter at the end of her sentence. 

“Sorry, but you’ve been so busy being shoved up Krum’s arse that I’ve barely seen you besides classes and at night!” I argue, my voice growing louder. 

“I don’t spend that much time with him!” She scoffs. 

“Notice how you were his treasure today? You know who mine was? Fred. You’d think it’d be you, but nope. You’re in love with Krum now!” I laugh. 

“His name is Viktor!” She exclaims. 

“I don’t give a fuck what his name is. You have no right to try and tell me I can’t be involved with Avery while you’ve blown me and the boys off every moment you can to hang out with that git. Or is it just me?” I ask. Hermione’s silent as I shake my head. “I gotta go. Avery wants me.” I turn and walk away from the small girl as I walk up behind Avery and wrap my arms around her middle. I rest my head on her shoulder as she smiles. 

“Hi love,” she hums.

“Hello, Angel,” I smile. “What are you doing?” 

“Just chatting,” Avery replies. 

“Sounds boring,” I whisper into her ear. 

“It is,” she whispers back. I grin happily as I tug her closer to me as I tuck my face into her neck. 

“How was your day, Dove,” I say against her skin. 

“Stressful, you gave me quite the scare today,” Avery says as she rubs my arm. 

“I’m sorry. How can I make it better?” I ask as I press a soft kiss to her neck. 

“You could stay in my dorm tonight,” Avery replies. 

“Sounds good to me,” I grin. Avery leans her head back against mine as I kiss her forehead. 

A few hours go by until the party dies down. I feel Avery’s body slumped against my side as I help her up the stairs. She’s babbling drunkenly as she presses her lips to my neck. 

“Ave, what are you doing?” I ask as I push her face away. 

“Kissin you,” she mumbles as she tries to kiss my lips. 

“You’re drunk, not right now,” I say as I push open the door to her dorm. I see one of her friends sitting on her bed. “She’s drunk, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be out soon.” I smile at the younger girl. I set Avery down on her own bed before I pulled her shoes off. 

“Are you staying?” Avery whines as she looks up at me. 

“Not tonight, maybe tomorrow,” I say softly. Avery pouts as I cover her up. She falls asleep moments later. 

“I have to tell you something,” the girl across the room says. I turn to look at her in confusion. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever gotten your name,” I say. 

“I’m Clarissa, but you can call me Rissa,” she smiles. 

“What did you have to tell me?” I ask. 

“Avery was dared to do this, the whole thing with you. I heard her and her friends talking about it. She was dared to make a champion fall for her, and she chose you,” Rissa says softly. My heart drops as my mouth dries. 

“What?” I say softly. “You swear to Merlin you’re not lying.”

“I swear, I have no reason to lie about something like this,” she says softly. 

“What do I do?” I say as I shake my head. 

“Don’t get with her, don’t do anything. You’ll get hurt,” Rissa says. 

“Thank you so much,” I say as I walk through the door. I walk quietly back to my own dorm before I push through it. I kick my shoes off as I close my door. I walk to my dresser as I pull pajamas out. I change quickly before I get into bed. I fall asleep staring at the brick ceiling. 

______________________________________________________________

Once I wake up my mind instantly flies to what Rissa said last night. I stand up and slip on a pair of socks and trainers before going down to the Great Hall. I saw Hermione sitting next to Ron with Harry and the twins across from him. I quietly slip into the spot between the twins as I grab a chocolate croissant. I eat it silently as I stare at the table. I feel a shoulder nudge mine, I look up to see George looking down at me. 

“You alright, Y/N/N?” He asks softly. 

“Avery, it was a dare,” I laughed quietly. 

“What?” George says angrily. 

“Her friends bet her that she couldn’t make a champion fall for her. And I was the oh so lucky champion she chose,” I reply. 

“I swear to bloody Merlin, if she wasn’t a girl,” he says angrily. 

“What’s the matter?” Harry asks as he looks between George and I. 

“Fucking Avery, that right cunt,” George seethes. 

“What’d she do?” Ron asks. I look at George as he gives me a look asking if he can say. I nod softly before he bursts. 

“She was using Y/N! It was all for a bet, her friends said she wouldn’t be able to pull a champion,” George says. Hermione’s face hardens as she looks at me. She gets up quickly as her face scans the Great Hall before she disappears. 

“Where’s she going?” Fred asks. 

“No idea, should we follow her?” Harry asks. 

“No, probably not,” Ron replies. I get a bit more food before I drink my pumpkin juice. 

I make my way to the Transfigurations classroom. I push the door open to see Hermione already sitting at our table. Her face is hidden by her curly hair as she reads the book in front of her. I slide into my seat before I look to the front of the room. 

“You alright?” Hermione asks, not looking up from her book. 

“M’fine, H,” I say softly. 

“You’re not, you’re allowed to be upset,” she says as she places a hand on my arm. 

“You’re not gonna tell me you told me so?” I ask. 

“Well, of course not. You’re upset and I’m not going to exploit that because I was right,” Hermione says. I nod softly as I look at her. McGonagall makes her way to the front of the room. 

“Today’s class will be held in the Great Hall so we can have a discussion,” she says. “Everyone leave your things and follow me.” As we get there, every Gryffindor is in the room. I smile as I see the twins standing behind a bunch of chairs while leaning against the wall. “Ladies on the right, gentlemen on the left.” I scrunch my nose up as I move to sit on the other side. 

“What’s this about?” Angelina asks as I sit in front of her. 

“No clue,” I whisper back. 

“Today we will be discussing the Yule Ball. It’s directly connected to the tournaments. The house of Godric Gryffindor has been the most honorable and humble house around this time. I will not have you besmirching that name by acting like a babbling bumbling band of baboons!” McGonagall says. 

“Right, she’s obviously never been to a Gryffindor party,” I whisper with a smirk to Lina. She lets out a soft snicker as McGonagall shouts at Ron. 

“Mr. Weasley, please join me,” she says. Ron looks at her in shock as he stands up and walks over to her. “Please put your hand on my waist.”

“Where!” Ron screeches as he looks at her.

“On my waist, Mr. Weasley,” she repeats. Ron slowly puts his hand on her waist as McGonagall takes his other hand. She begins walking through a slow waltz as I cover my mouth to try to stop the laughs from bubbling out of me. 

“Oh I wish I had a camera,” I say in awe. I look to see Fred and George mockingly swaying back and forth. Hermione elbows me softly as she glares at me. 

“Now, I hope you gentlemen will each take a lady’s hand and ask her to dance,” Professor calls. The boys sit silently as I roll my eyes. I see Neville stand up as he offers his hand to Ginny. She smiles as she takes it and they begin to dance around. I smile softly as Ron walks over to me. 

“Your hand m’lady?” he says obnoxiously. I throw my head back in laughter as I grab his hand. 

“Of course m’lord,” I reply in the same voice. He pulls me up as his hand sets on my waist. We sway softly as he spins me. I let out a loud laugh as he dips me. “Wow, Weasley! You got some moves.”

“Oi! I’m not just a pretty face,” Ron winks. I shake my head with a smile as I lift his hand above his head. 

“Now, spin!” I laugh. 

“Absolutely not,” Ron says as he shakes his head. 

“Come on, Ronald!” I say as I wiggle his arm around. He rolls his eyes as he duck under our arms and spins. I grin brightly as I watch him. 

“Now you,” he smiles. He twirls me around as I let out a laugh. Ron tugs me back to his chest as we dance slowly. “So, when are you gonna tell ‘Mione you fancy her?” My eyes widen as I slap his chest. 

“What are you talking about?” I ask, my eyes pulling away from his gaze. 

“It’s painfully obvious, Y/N/N,” he teases. I groan as my head falls to lean on his shoulder. 

“I can’t tell her, she fancies Krum,” I replied as my head lifted off his shoulder to look at him. 

“You never know unless you try,” Ron sings. I roll my eyes as I look around the room. I see Hermione laughs loudly as Harry spins her around. My stomach fills with butterflies as I smile softly. “You’re absolutely smitten!” Ron laughs. 

“Oh, bugger off you git,” I mutter as we continue to dance. He grins at me as he spins me again. I let out a laugh as he dips me again. 

______________________________________________________________

Ron plops beside me as he lets out a loud groan. I shift my seat on the couch of our common room as I smile. “You alright Ronniekins?” I ask as I nudge his shoulder. 

“How the bloody hell am I meant to ask a girl to the ball! They’re always together in their scary groups, staring at us,” Ron says as he puts his head in his hands. 

“It’s not that hard, just ask someone,” I shrug. 

“Have you been asked yet?” Ron asks. I shake my head as my eyes scan the pages of my book. 

“I’m probably not going,” I say. 

“You’ve got to go!” Ron exclaims. 

“Why?” I ask. 

“If ‘Mione finds out you're saying that she’ll skin you alive!” Ron says as he sways us. 

“Is she going with someone?” I ask softly. 

“I have no idea. You know she wouldn’t tell Harry and I, we’d take the mickey out of her if she did,” Ron laughs softly. I nod in agreement as I put my feet on his lap.

I walk into the Great Hall for my study hour as I see Hermione sitting beside Ron and Harry. I sit across from them, next to the twins as Snape sets my workbook in front of me. I give him a tight lipped smile as I open it and begin to work. 

“Have you got a date yet, H?” Ron says as he turns to the brown-haired boy. 

“Not yet, it’s terrifying!” Harry exclaims in a hushed tone. 

“I know! How am I supposed to ask a girl when they’re always together!” The redhead whines. I let out a soft laugh as I look at the two. Fred tears a piece of parchment off as he scribbles on it and tosses it at his brother. Ron reads it before glaring at the older twin. “Right, who are you going with then!” Ron huffs in a whisper. Fred smirks at his brother before crumpling up another piece and tossing it at Angelina. 

“Oi! Lina!” Fred whisper-yells. Angelina’s head snaps towards him as she glares. “Will you,” he says as he points at her. “Go to the ball,” he continues as he mimics dancing. “With me,” he smirks as he points towards himself. 

“Yeah, alright then,” Angelia says with a small smile as she turns back to her work. Fred turns and shoots an overdramatic wink at Ron. I laugh softly as I shake my head. 

“Right, Hermione, Y/N, you both are girls! Come to the ball with us,” Ron laughs as he mimics Fred. Snape walks up behind him as he smacks him in the back of the head with a workbook. Ron winces as he rubs his head. I laugh with Harry as Hermione turns to look at him. 

“I have a date already,” Hermione says. 

“You what?” I say as my head snaps towards her. 

“Someone asked me, and I said yes,” she replies. 

“Who!?” I ask. 

“None of your business,” Hermione says coldly.

“I thought we were best mates!” I say in defense. 

“If I wanted you to know, don’t you think I would’ve told you by now!” Hermione says in a tone that mocked mine a few weeks ago. My face falls as I look at her. 

“Cool,” I say dryly as I turn back to my work. 

“Y/N, are you going to the ball?” Harry asks. 

“Probably not,” I say as I don’t look up from my work. 

“What?” Ron says slightly loudly. 

“Not going,” I say as I look up at the trio with a tight-lipped smile. 

“Yes you are,” Hermione says suddenly. 

“No, no I am not,” I say as I shake my head. 

“You have to!” Hermione argues. 

“No I don’t,” I laugh. 

“You are going. No arguing,” Hermione says. 

“We can go together,” Ron says as he waggled his eyebrows at me. 

“Fine,” I seethe. “Only because I don’t want Ronniekins looking pathetic at the ball.” Harry looks at me in shock as he gasps. 

“What about me!” He shrieks. Snape glares at us as I apologize. 

“You’ll find a date. You’re the chosen one. Every girl wants to get in your pants. Ron here is a little more awkward,” I reply. Harry grumbles quietly as I finish my work. I get up as I hand Snape my book and leave the room. 

______________________________________________________________

“You have a package,” Ginny tells me as she sets a long box on my bed. My face lights up as I move closer to the box. 

“It’s my dress!” I exclaim. I tug the top off the box as I look inside. I pull out a long�� dark red dress. The skirt is bouncy and made of a soft tulle. It flows to the floor as I hold it up. The top is made out of a silky material, that was covered in shiny red beads and sequins. The straps are thin and cross in the back. The neckline is a wide V shape.

“Oh my god Bex! That’s gorgeous,” Ginny grins. “You’re gonna look so pretty!” 

“I hope so,” I say softly. There’s a pair of open-toed silver chunky heels, they’re covered in sparkles. It has a strap that goes across the top of your foot and one that fastens around your ankle. I dig around the box to find three smaller black boxes. The first box has a silver necklace with a silver rose as the pendent. The second has a pair of gorgeous earrings. They’re crystal dangle earrings. They look like frosty ice more than anything else. The final box is smaller, shaped more like a cube than anything. I open it to see the ring. It’s the same ring my mother wore everyday. It has been in our family for ages. I take it out and hold it between my fingers. It’s gold and has a tiara like design. There’s a small oval shaped red stone in the middle with two tiny pearls on the top and bottom. 

“That’s beautiful,” Ginny says softly. 

“It was my mum’s. It’s been passed down to the eldest girls in my family for generations. And it’s finally my turn,” I say as a smile breaks across my face. I made a mental note to write mum later. I hang my dress up so it doesn't wrinkle before putting the shoes and jewelry away safely. 

[smilexcaptainx]

Across The Hallway | One

CAST LIST

If you are interested in being tagged in “Across The Hallway” ask here! 

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!OC

Summary: When Avery Callaghan moves in across the hall from Peter Parker, they find each other repulsive and are constantly at each other’s throats. Neighbors is what they start out as, but when it turns out that Avery is also part of the ‘‘Stark Internship’‘ he now has to compete with the girl from across the hallway.

A/N: Chapter One has arrived! I hope you enjoy♥ | i do not own this gif, credit goes to the owner

Warning(s): Fluff, Swearing

Word Count: 1.9K

 Little hairs were sticking out of her hair, indicating the hard work that she had just gone through. As she released an exhausted breath of air, she noticed her older brother, Jason, struggle with the enormous, hefty box as he came tottering through the door. Avery blew a strand of her blonde hair out of her eyes and sprinted up to Jason.

‘’No..Sis…I got this…’’ jason breathed shakily. Avery scoffed in disbelief as her ocean blue eyes observed the unsteadiness her brother was currently going through. Avery walked over to the open door and closed it shut. She turned to see how Jason was doing. Jason was still striving to get the gigantic box to the living room. ‘’I just need…to get this ov…’’

 Jason couldn’t finish his sentence and he had given up. He released all of his stress and plopped the box straight onto the ground. Avery winced in result of the sound of glass shattering inside of the box. It was the box of glass bowls and plates.

‘’Shoot.’’ jason huffed, placing his hands on his hips. “I guess that means we’re going to need to use our paper plates instead.’’

‘’Yay...’’ avery cheered non-enthusiastically. ‘’I’m dying of hunger, where’s the box with the candy.’’

 Jason pointed in response while walking over to the couch where he was planning to catch a few Z’s. The elevator had broken which meant that the two siblings had to carry all of their stuff upstairs, using the actual…stairs. It wasn’t pleasant, nor was it easy, but now that they were finally in their apartment room, all they could think of was sleep.

 Avery shoved her hand into the box of candy and grabbed whatever she could get her hands on. She gripped onto the random bag of candy and pulled it out. It was M&M’s. A grin appeared on her lips, M&M’s was her favorite candy. She closed the box back up and walked into the kitchen. She lifted herself on top of the counter.

 She carefully opened the bag, trying not to make the bag explode open. She poured a handful of M&M’s into the palm of her hand and tossed them into her mouth. She moaned in satisfaction when the sweet taste of the chocolate melted inside of her mouth. A loud knock soon came to their apartment door, alerting both of them.

 Jason was laid on the couch, his head buried in a pillow on the couch. Jason let out a loud groan, expressing the fact that he was too lazy to answer it. Avery didn’t want to answer it because she wasn’t the kind to making new friends and meeting new people. She thought that if she just ignored it, they would go away.

 She was proven wrong when the same exact knock banged against the door. In annoyance, she bounded off of the top of the counter. On the way to the door, she threw another handful of M&M’s into her mouth. As she chewed on the delicious candy, she opened up the door, revealing an middle aged woman with a teenage boy beside her.

 The first thing she noticed about the boy was his attire. It was completely nerdy. Avery didn’t get along with nerds. She despised them. They were too weird for her liking. The longer she stared at the unfashionable weirdo, the look he was giving her didn’t look too pleasant either. Her eyes swung over to the mother-looking figure beside him. She was giving Avery a wide smile.

 The only thing that looked semi-interesting about the two strangers standing in front of her, was that the older lady was holding a plate of brownies. And brownies was something that Avery and Jason loved to eat. Avery leaned against the doorway and folded her arms, inhaling a big breath of air. When she exhaled, the older lady began to speak.

‘’Hello neighbor!’’ she greeted loudly. Avery’s ears had begun to ring from the volume of her voice. “We just wanted to welcome you into this building. My name is May and this is my nephew Peter,’’ Avery’s eyes shifted over back to the boy. He gave her a small smile. ‘’anyways, we’re just right across the hallway if you ever need us. We’re always here if you–’’

‘’Yeah yeah, we’ll call you whenever,’’ avery recalled. She’s heard it all before. Avery snapped her eyes at the brownies. She didn’t wait for May to give them to her and she swiped them right out of her hands. Peter exclaimed an unhappy ‘’Hey!’’ as Avery stepped back and put her hand on the door. ‘’Bye.’’

 Avery had caught a glimpse of a pissed off teenage boy before the door had slammed all the way shut. Avery snorted to herself in amusement. He looked funny. And the fact that his name was Peter had made it even funnier. Avery found that name as nerdy as his outfit. Avery could overhear his voice as he vented out to aunt outside her door.

‘’She just stole your brownies Aunt May!’’ peter squeaked angrily. ‘’And worst of all she didn’t even say thank you!’’

‘’It’s okay Peter, the brownies were meant for her in the first place. And I’m sure she’s very thankful for them.’’ his aunt responded in a completely calm matter. Avery wanted to laugh out loud. She just wanted the brownies because it was free food! ‘’And if she’s not going to eat them, I’m sure her parents or siblings will.’’

 Avery grimaced as the “P” word went through her ears. Avery didn’t have parents. Both of them died in a car accident. The entire family was in the car, Avery, Jason her parents. When the car wreck happened, the only two who made it out alive was Avery and Jason. Jason being eighteen years old was able to live with Avery alone, but where they lived before wouldn’t allow an eighteen year old to live alone with a fifteen year old, family or not.

 That was the reason Avery and Jason had to move. The thing is, she has to pretend her parents are still alive if she wants to stay in the apartment. The day of her parents death was coming up soon, it was a few days away. The other reason for the move was because Avery works for Tony Stark. Jason is unaware of the fact that she fights crime.

 Avery calls it the ‘’Stark Internship’’ to Jason whenever she talks about her job. Although it sounds sort of boring, she loves kicking the ass of bad guys. She has never had a partner though, which was the main reason of her independent fighting. She’s amazing fighting alone.

‘’Who was it Avery?’’ jason wailed from the couch. ‘’Did we get food?’’

‘’Yeah, just a visit from an aunt and her nephew,’’ avery responded, walking to the living room. ‘’she made us brownies, let’s dig it, shall we?’’

 Jason sat up from the cough and nodded replying with a plain ‘’Yes we shall.’’ The two dug into the brownies and enjoyed every bite. Avery had to admit, the Aunt didn’t have too bad of cooking skills.

—

“Have fun on your first day, alright?” jason said, giving his little sister a tight side hug. ‘’Don’t get in too much trouble without me.’’

 Avery nodded. Jason gave her a small kiss on the top of her head and than sent her out of the door. Avery adjusted the hat on top of her head and also her brand new back pack. Avery felt pretty confident on her look today. She had a plaid shirt tied around her waist with a Def Leppard concert crop top and ripped black jeans.

 The elevator had gotten fixed last night so that was how she was going to get to school. There was a train that she was supposed to take to get to Midtown High School. She hated trains because they were cramped and filled with sweaty people. It was the only way she could get to school though, so she was sort of stuck with the train.

 The elevator opened and she stepped inside. As the elevator was beginning to shut, she caught the nerdy boy frantically running up towards the elevator, calling out for her to keep it open. Avery rolled her eyes and lowered her head, making sure that the hat covered up her appearance. Right when Avery thought that Peter wasn’t going to make it, his hand stopped the door before shutting all the way.

 Avery breathed a tiny ‘’Dang it!’’ to herself as Peter stepped inside with her. He saw that she was going to the same floor and left it. The elevator door shut and the awkwardness began. Avery stayed silent. She was surprised that he hadn’t recognized that it was the girl who ‘’stole’’ his Aunt’s brownies.

 Peter’s breathing was the only thing audible, along with the soothing elevator music. Peter glanced over at Avery and his eyes went wide when he saw her Dep Leppard shirt.

‘’Ulch, that’s a terrible band,’’ peter commented out loud. Avery shot her eyes up. “they suck at singing. They wouldn’t know talent if it hit them in the face.’’

‘’Did I ask for your opinion?’’ avery asked, snapped her eyes at Peter. ‘’Because last time I checked, I didn’t.’’

Peter’s dirt brown eyes enlarged. ‘’I-It’s you!’’ he squeaked, pointing at her. ‘’You’re the rude girl who moved across from me and my Aunt! The one who stole my Aunt’s brownies!’’

‘’Oh get over it moron,’’ avery scoffed in exasperation. ‘’the brownies were meant for me in the first place anyways!’’

‘’You didn’t even bother to say thank you!’’

‘’You say that like it’s a sin.’’

‘’It is!’’ peter declared angrily. ‘’My Aunt May stayed up for two hours last night making those brownies!’’

‘’Oh boo freaking hoo.’’ she retorted in fake sadness. ‘’The brownies tasted like dirt anyways.’’

 That was a lie, but Avery loved that her snotty responses pissed Peter off even more. Peter stomped up to the pad with all the floors and slammed his hand on the emergency stop. Avery clenched onto the bars of the elevator as it came to a complete stop. She held her breath as she realized what he had just done.

‘’Are you out of your damn mind dude!!’’ avery spat in anger. ‘’Why the in the hell did you just do that?!’’

“Because I’ve got some words for you!’’ peter shouted, pointing his finger at her in accusation. ‘’And I want you to hear every single one.’’

 Peter walked closer to Avery. His face was inches away, his nose practically touching hers. Avery snorted, which confused Peter and drew him away. Avery had a smug smile spread across her lips. Peter lifted his eyebrows in confusion and anger.

‘’W-What are you snickering about?’’

‘’You’re adorable,’’ avery laughed, causing more rage for Peter. ‘’I know you like me. You think I’m cute, don’t you?’’

‘’What?!’’ peter exclaimed, his voice cracking in the process. ‘’I-I don’t think that!’’

‘’You’re tomato red face says otherwise, buddy.’’

‘’I-I-You’re..I–’’

‘’Can’t find the words? Here, let me help you,’’ avery straightened her posture. ‘’it’s never going to happen, nerd.’’

 Peter had completely lost it. He couldn’t believe how much of a jerk she was being. Peter didn’t want to continue the argument and just pressed the button which made the elevator start up again. Avery mentally patted herself on the back in pride. As the elevator continued, Peter stayed silent. Her watch suddenly began to beep rapidly.

 Her eyes snapped at her watch. It was Tony.

* * *

What did you think of this chapter?

Should I make a Chapter Two??

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[captaincanarygotmelike]

Fic: Voices Carry ch. 21

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The day Nate bailed on bringing Avery to the amusement park, Sara thought she’d be furious at him forever, but time passed. Life moved forwards. Avery started preschool again, Leonard began to work full-time at Central City Picture News — the same place Iris worked — and things got busy again at the precinct for Sara. None of them had the time or energy to waste on being mad at Nate. The situation eventually moved to the back-burner, but it wasn’t gone entirely.

Nate had called Sara the night he was supposed to take Avery for the day. He apologized for flaking and offered to take her later that week.

“I forgot to call out of work,” was the excuse he gave Sara the morning of the second attempt, “My boss says they really need me in today.”

That time, Sara made Nate tell Avery himself that he couldn’t make it, and it marked the last time Sara told her when her father arranged to visit with her. She wanted to spare her the disappointment.

It paid off because Sara tried three more times to organize plans with Nate, even offering to drive Avery to Star City rather than having him make the trip to Central, but it always fell through.

This day, the day before Sara and Leonard’s wedding, marked exactly three weeks since they had last heard from him.

“Mama,” Avery said, climbing up onto their bed early that morning, “I’m hungry.”

“You’re hungry?” Sara asked quietly, pulling Avery into her arms, “What d’you want to eat?”

“Daddy’s waffles,” she whispered, a cheeky smile on her face.

Sara leaned forward, her forehead touching Avery’s.

“You want Daddy to get up and make us waffles?” she whispered back. Avery nodded. They both looked over to Leonard.

“I’m still sleeping,” he grumbled. Avery giggled.

“Y’know Ave,” Sara said, pointedly raising her voice to a normal level, “This is the last morning with Daddy before the wedding, because the bride and groom aren’t supposed to see each other. So tonight Daddy’s leaving and spending the night somewhere else, so it’ll just be you and me for breakfast tomorrow…by ourselves.”

“Alright, alright,” Leonard muttered, feigning annoyance as he swung his legs out of bed and headed for the kitchen.

“Avery?” Sara asked a minute later, “Do you miss your dad?”

“Why?” Avery asked, looking up at her.

“What do you mean, why?”

“He’s in there,” Avery pointed in the direction of the kitchen where they could faintly hear Leonard starting breakfast. Sara couldn’t keep a smile from etching its way across her face.

“What about…Nate?” she tried again, “Do you miss him?”

“No,” Avery replied, shaking her head.

Sara and Avery stayed in bed for a few more minutes. Avery had started her second year of preschool a little over a month ago, and although it was a relief to have her back in school for most of the day, her absence was giving Sara a bit of separation anxiety, although she wasn’t sure if that was the best word for it. Whatever it was, Sara wanted to snuggle with her daughter while Avery would still let her.

“Hey,” Sara said, “Let’s go help Dad with breakfast.”

Avery nodded.

“Nice of you to join me,” Leonard said as they entered the kitchen.

“We wanna help,” Avery chirped, pulling herself up onto a stool at the kitchen island, “Can I stir?”

Leonard nodded, handing her the metal spatula.

“So when do you think we should leave?” Sara asked him, referring to the forty five minute drive to where their wedding would be taking place.

“Technically we don’t have to be there until tonight, but I think Iris and Cisco would appreciate us getting there a little bit earlier than last minute,” he replied.

“Well, if anyone, it would be me,” Sara joked as she pulled three ceramic plates out of the cupboard.

“Done,” Avery said, pushing the bowl of now mixed waffle batter towards Leonard.

“Come help me set the table, Ave,” Sara said, opening the silverware drawer.

Not too long later, the table was set and Leonard was lifting the last steaming waffle off of the iron.

Just as Avery was climbing into her chair at the dining table, the front door opened and Cisco and Lisa entered the apartment.

“We smelled breakfast,” Lisa smirked.

“Chef’s out,” Leonard said immediately, walking out of the kitchen.

“Oh c’mon,” Sara rolled her eyes in exasperation as she began to spoon more batter onto the waffle iron.

“Mommy, I’m hungry,” Avery whined.

“Just a few more minutes,” Sara told her.

A few minutes later, as promised, all five of them were sitting around the dining table eating breakfast.

“So you guys’re getting married in twenty four hours,” Cisco said through a mouthful of waffles, “That must be freaky to think about.”

“Freaky isn’t exactly the word I would use,” Lisa said, giving her boyfriend a pointed look, “but it must be exciting thinking about how close it is.”

“Mommy,” Avery said before either Sara or Leonard could answer, “When you and Daddy get married, does that mean Lisa’s my aunt because she’s Daddy’s sister? ‘Cos Auntie Laurel is your sister.”

They were all silent for a moment.

“That..somehow never crossed my mind,” Sara admitted, “Yeah, Lisa’s gonna be your aunt when we get married. Good catch, Ave.”

“Aww, I’m gonna get a niece without having to change any diapers,” Lisa said, “Nice going, Len.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied.

There were a few minutes of quiet while they all ate breakfast, occasionally interrupted by Avery’s ramblings about school and princesses and ballet.

“So when are you guys planning on heading up?” Lisa asked a few minutes later.

“Whenever,” Sara shrugged nonchalantly, mostly to get a rise out of Cisco. She glanced up from her plate to see if it had worked.

It did.

“What do you mean ‘whenever’?” he asked, his expression as close to a glare as Cisco could ever get, “You do realize this is your wedding we’re talking about, right?”

“Chill, Ramon —” Leonard said.

“Was that a cold pun?” he asked.

“—she’s kidding.”

“We’re heading out in a few hours,” Sara finished, a smirk on her lips.

“I still don’t get how you guys are able to be so relaxed about this,” Cisco replied, shaking his head, “It’s not even my wedding and I’m way more stressed out about it than either of you. Like, don’t you realize how many things could go wrong?”

“First of all,” Leonard said, setting his fork down on his plate, “You’re more stressed about it because you’re the one who planned the whole thing. Second, the only thing I care about is being married to Sara. Once that happens, the cake could explode or the dance floor could catch on fire and I wouldn’t care.”

“I would care!” Cisco exclaimed.

“Like I said,” Leonard replied, his eyebrows raised.

“Whatever, man,” he said, raising his hands in surrender, “Just don’t let Iris or Felicity hear what you guys are saying.”

“We wouldn’t dare,” Sara smirked.

A few hours later, Leonard, Sara, and Avery were on their way up to the Central City mountains.

Although Cisco and Iris had planned the majority of the wedding festivities, they had given Leonard and Sara the final call on a few of the details, one of the more important being the venue.

Both Leonard and Sara knew that a church ceremony wasn’t the way they wanted to go, and not too much later, they decided they wanted an outdoor wedding.

“It’ll be October so nobody will be sweltering in the heat,” Sara had said when she discussed it with Leonard, Iris, and Cisco, “ and we won’t have to worry about Ave and her friends breaking something in a fancy reception place.”

After that decision had been made, they still had to choose a venue. It was hard to find somewhere they could all deem acceptable in the middle of a city, but then Leonard had an idea.

“Hey, what if we used the cabin up in the mountains,” he had suggested.

“Really?” Sara asked. She’d be lying if she said the thought had never crossed her mind, but she’d just figured Leonard wouldn’t want that many people knowing about the cabin.

“Yeah,” he had nodded, “We can use the house to get ready, and there’s that field that we can use for the ceremony and the reception.”

“The mountains’ll look gorgeous in the fall,” Sara nodded in agreement.

After that, they ran it by Iris and Cisco, who were, by this point, actually their wedding planners (Sara still couldn’t believe it) and then it was official.

Now, less than twenty four hours until their wedding, they were making the drive up to the cabin up in the Central City mountains, the cabin where their relationship first began.

“It looks exactly the same!” Sara exclaimed when they arrived, “Well, except for all that.”

She gestured out into the field where everything for the wedding ceremony and reception was almost completely set up.

“Woah!” Avery said, leaning forward against the straps on her carseat.

“And look, Avie,” Sara said, pointing towards where the reception would be held, “There’s gonna be fairy lights everywhere, just like the ones on your bed, and cool lanterns and stuff, and they’re gonna look like stars when it starts to get dark.”

“Cool!”

“Dare I say you’re actually getting excited about this?” Leonard asked, leaning against the passenger side door as Sara unbuckled Avery and lifted her out of the car.

“You say that like you aren’t,” she smirked back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied.

“Two weeks ago you wanted to know what color my bridesmaids’ dresses are so the groomsmen's ties could match,” she reminded him.

“I was asking for Cisco,” Leonard argued as they walked up the wooden stars onto the front porch.

“Yeah,” Sara said, her hand on the doorknob, “Sure.”

She pulled the front door open and they were instantly met with a chorus of greetings, applause, and a wolf-whistle that sounded suspiciously like Lisa.

They looked over the balcony to see all of their friends gathered in the living room. Iris, Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin were all sitting on the leather couch. Lisa sat cross-legged on the rug, her back against Cisco’s legs. Felicity, Sara’s maid of honor, was sitting in an upholstered armchair. Food, drinks, and a stack of board games and movies were scattered around the coffee table.

“You made it!” Felicity exclaimed as Sara, Leonard, and Avery walked down the stairs into the open living area.

“We did,” Sara replied, “What’s going on?”

“Well, we figured a fancy rehearsal dinner wasn’t really your style,” Cisco explained, “But we didn’t want to do nothing, so we have games and movies and cards —”

“And there’s pizza on the way,” Iris cut in, “and we have snacks and booze — we’re gonna break out the really good stuff after Avery goes to bed. We just thought we could all, you know, hang out and just have a nice time together the night before your wedding.”

“Aww, guys, you didn’t have to do this,” Sara said, smiling fondly at everyone.

“Yeah, you really didn’t have to,” Leonard said as stoically as he could muster.

“Cut it out, Len,” she said, jokingly hitting his arm, “No one’s buying it anymore.”

“Yeah, Snart, we know you love us,” Caitlin added teasingly.

“We’re gonna play games?” Avery asked excitedly.

“Yup,” Felicity said, “Do you wanna pick the first one?”

“Yeah!”

She ended up picking The Game of Life, which is exactly what Sara thought would happen.

“That’s her favorite,” she said when Avery pointed to the colorful cardboard box.

They ended up playing in teams of one and two, “ ‘cos there’s only six cars,” Avery explained. They took a break in the middle for pizza before returning to the game (Sara and Leonard won by a landslide, mostly because they were having Avery steal money for them).

“Can we play another game?” Avery asked.

“It’s almost your bedtime,” Sara replied, “but if you go brush your teeth and get your PJ’s on super fast, we can.”

Avery looked over the pile of games, her eyes landing on the deck of cards.

“Can we play go-fish?” she asked.

“Ooh, yeah, I love go-fish,” Iris said.

“Sounds good. Go get ready for bed, Avie, so we can play,” Sara said.

Avery ended up completely demolishing everybody in both rounds of go-fish they played.

“You let her win,” Cisco grumbled at Leonard when Sara left to put Avery to bed, “You never let any of us win when we used to all play hearts at the lab.”

“Well, you aren’t four years old and just learning how to play.”

“Still.”

Sara returned a few minutes later.

“Len, she wants you to say goodnight to her,” she said.

He nodded, getting to his feet.

As he started towards the hallway of bedrooms, he heard Felicity say, “That’s so cute, I think I’m gonna cry.”

Avery was in the same bedroom she had slept in when they were here several months ago. She was tucked underneath the quilt with her bunny blanket next to her.

“You wanted me to come say goodnight, Avery?” he asked.

“Uh-huh,” she replied. Leonard sat on the edge of the bed.

“You know I’m not gonna be here when you wake up tomorrow, right?” he told her. She nodded solemnly, “So have fun helping your mom get ready tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

“Goodnight, Ave,” he said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

“Night-night.”

Leonard stood and headed for the door.

“Bye, Daddy,” she said, her voice quiet. Leonard smiled.

“Sleep good, Avery.”

When Leonard returned, they all continued drinking and playing board games.

After a game of Clue where Leonard sacrificed a win to accuse Barry of being the killer, Caitlin suggested a round of Trivial Pursuit. Iris and Sara backed out for the reason of it being, as Sara said, the most boring game ever invented.

“There’s stuff to make margaritas in the kitchen,” Lisa told them as Cisco started to set up the game.

“Hell yeah,” Sara said, getting up from her spot on the couch next to Leonard to follow Iris.

When they were in the kitchen, they pulled together everything they’d need for margaritas.

“Shit, this is nice tequila,” Iris said, turning a glass bottle over to look at the label.

“I’m pretty sure Felicity stole that from Oliver’s collection.”

“Oliver drinks tequila?”

“He probably won’t notice it’s gone.”

Iris started to pour the ingredients into a steel cocktail shaker.

“Hard to believe your wedding is tomorrow,” Iris said, “You nervous?”

“Not really,” Sara shrugged, “I’m just ready to be married to him.”

Iris smiled.

“You guys are sweet,” she said.

“Just start pouring,”she smirked, “Len wants to play poker after this, and just to warn you, he cheats, a lot.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured.”

They all finally wrapped up the party just before one in the morning.

“So this is the longest we’ll go without seeing each other basically since we met,” Sara told Leonard, aware she was only exaggerating slightly.

Leonard, Cisco, and Barry were about to leave for another cabin (this one not owned by Leonard) a few minutes up the road, where they would be staying for the night and getting ready for the wedding the next morning.

“Think you’ll survive?” Leonard asked her, smirking.

“I think I’ll be okay,” she replied, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Sara stood on her toes to kiss him, her arms twining around his neck. His hand traveled down her spine, resting on the small of her back.

“Hey, break it up guys,” Cisco said, “It’s past midnight, which is already breaking the wedding rules. What you’re doing right now is basically illegal.”

Sara pulled away from Leonard.

“Alright, Cisco, we get it,” she said. She met Leonard’s eyes, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow."

Sara got to sleep in the morning of her wedding day. She woke up briefly around six when her door opened and she heard the sound of little feet pitter-pattering against wood floor, but then either Felicity or Iris (she couldn’t tell who by their hushed whisper) ushered Avery out. She ended up finally getting out of bed at a little past ten.

“Here comes the bride!” Felicity said in a sing-song voice when Sara walked into the kitchen, “Look, Avery and I made omelets.”

“Avery made omelets?” Sara asked skeptically as she sat down at the island.

“Well, I made omelets,” she corrected, “But Avery poured everyone orange juice and she didn’t spill any, right Avery?”

“Uh-huh!” Avery said proudly.

“Where is everyone?” Sara asked as she started to eat.

“Lisa is helping Cisco put the finishing touches on everything outside,” Felicity replied, “Like, the flowers and all the other stuff that couldn’t be outside all night. Then she’s dropping off the guys’ boutonnières and bringing all the other flowers, like for our hair and your bouquet and Ave’s basket, over. Iris is showing the band and food people where to set up.”

“They’re here already?”

“Yep. You slept a lot later than we thought you would.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Sara said gratefully, “Was it you or Iris who got Ave out?”

“That was me,” Felicity said, “As your maid of honor it’s my job to make sure you’re well rested for your wedding day.”

“I appreciate it, Lis,” Sara said, “But aren’t you technically a matron of honor, because you’re married?”

“Yeah, but matron makes me sound, like, fifty-two years old.”

“That’s oddly specific.”

Lisa and Iris returned to the cabin not too long later, and Sara’s mother, Dinah, followed shortly after them. She had brought an old photo album with her, and they all sat on the leather couch and flipped through the pages.

“I’ve always thought you look just like Avery in this picture,” Dinah said, pointing to a old photograph of Sara when she was four. It was taken on Halloween, and Sara was dressed as cat, in a black shirt and tutu, whiskers drawn on her cheeks with black face paint, and a headband with fuzzy cat ears in her messy blonde hair.

“I forgot my hair was that curly!” Sara exclaimed.

“Yes, well, Avery gets that from you,” Dinah said.

Avery had been rather subdued all morning. Sara figured it was just from all the excitement of the wedding, a lot of which she couldn’t really understand yet, but she found out the true reason not too long after she put her down for a nap.

Sara stopped in front of Avery’s door when she heard a sniffling noise from inside. She pushed it open to see Avery curled up underneath the quilt, tears running down her cheeks.

“What’s wrong Avie,” Sara said calmly as she crossed the room and scooped her into her arms, sitting on the bed with Avery in her lap.

“I miss Daddy,” she choked out through her tears, “I wan’ him to come back.”

Sara furrowed her eyebrows.

“What do you mean, ‘come back’?” she asked.

“ ‘Cos he left.”

“He left?”

“Yesterday you said that was the last breakfast with Daddy because you can’t see each other and then yesterday he said bye before I went to bed and today he’s not here anymore.”

“Oh,” Sara said, suddenly realizing why Avery was so upset, “Avie, Daddy’s not gone forever. There’s just a tradition that when two people get married, they don’t see each other until the ceremony. That way it’s more special.”

“Really?” Avery asked, wiping away the tears on her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“Aww, honey did you really think he wasn’t coming back?” Sara asked. She felt a nod as she held Avery closer, “No, honey, he’s not gone. He’s at another house like this one just a few minutes away with Barry and Cisco.”

“He is?”

“Yes, he is,” Sara nodded, “Trust me, he can’t get away from us that easy.”

After a moment, Avery looked up at her.

“You promise he’s coming back?” she asked.

“Yes, I promise,” Sara replied. She thought for a second, “Hey, do you want to go see him?” Avery nodded. “And do you promise you’ll take a nap after?” She nodded again, “Okay. Let’s go.”

She set Avery down and waited for her as she slid on her sandals before heading out of the room and towards the stairs.

Halfway up, they were stopped by Iris and Felicity.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Felicity asked.

“Ave really needs to see Len right now, right Ave?” She looked down at Avery who was swiping at her still puffy eyes.

“Aww, what happened?” Iris asked, sympathy on both her and Felicity’s faces.

“She got a little confused about Len spending the night away,” Sara explained, “She thought he was leaving forever, and I think she needs to make sure he’s really still here. I’m just gonna bring her over there for a few minutes.”

“Uh, you’re not supposed to see each other, remember?” Felicity asked somewhat accusingly.

“Well I wasn’t planning on it, but she can’t exactly walk over there herself,” Sara shrugged.

“Why don’t I bring her,” Iris suggested, “I have to ask Barry about something anyway.”

“Perfect,” Felicity said before Sara could respond, “And while that’s happening, Sara, you need to start getting ready.

“The ceremony doesn’t start for another three hours.”

“Exactly,” Felicity replied, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down the stairs, “Let’s go.”

As Iris and Avery were making their way over to the other cabin, Barry was pushing open the door to Leonard’s room.

“Hey,” he said. Leonard looked up from his book, “I just wanted to see how you’re doing. Make sure you didn’t try to leave or anything.”

“Do you really think—”

“That was mostly a joke.”

“Right,” Leonard said. After a moment, he asked, “How’s the game.”

There was a football game playing on the TV in the living room, but given that Leonard had zero interest in sports, he’d opted to sit and read — something he hadn’t gotten to do much of recently, as Avery had taken to asking if he could read his book out loud to her, no matter what it was, which then led to reading at least one chapter of Narnia (they were nearing the end now, which meant they could watch the movie soon, something Avery had been long awaiting).

“Not bad,” Barry replied. He took a deep breath, looking nervously around the room.

“If you want to say something, say it,” Leonard said, closing his book and putting it on a side table before getting to his feet.

“I just,” he hesitated, “I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you — don’t roll your eyes, I mean it! When I first met you —”

“When you first met me, I was hurting and killing and stealing from people and then I met Sara and she made me a better person and I don’t do any of those things anymore,” Leonard interrupted, “Spare me.”

“No, what I mean is —”

He was cut off again by a light knock on the wooden doorframe. They both looked over to see Iris standing in the doorway with Avery.

“I hope we’re not interrupting anything,” Iris said, “Miss Avery wanted to come say hi to you, Snart.”

She gave Avery a little nudge forwards.

“Barry, why don’t we wait in the other room,” Iris suggested. He nodded and followed her into the hallway.

“Your mom told me you’re upset about something,” Leonard said.

Sara had texted him five minutes ago: Ave thought ur leaving forever. She’s pretty upset. Iris bringing her over btw.

Avery nodded. There was a hint of nervousness in her eyes that Leonard hadn’t seen in a long time, not since when she hid behind Sara’s legs in the doorway of her then-new apartment the day Leonard met them for the first time.

“Mommy said yesterday you were gonna not see us,” Avery said.

“And you thought that meant forever?” he asked, crouching down to her height.

She nodded. Before he could say anything else, her eyes had filled with tears, her chin trembling.

As Avery started to cry, Leonard pulled her into a hug, his arms around her shoulders, one hand on the back of her head.

“Ave, don’t cry,” he said, aware at that point it would be like telling a fire, “don’t burn”.

Sara had told him how Avery didn’t seem to remember much of who Nate Heywood was and what he did, but Leonard was beginning to think her recollection was better than she was letting on.

“I’m never gonna leave you,” he murmured into her hair, “or your mom. You know that, right?”

She nodded.

He waited another few moments as her tears began to peter out.

“You ready to go back?” he asked.

Avery didn’t respond, her grip tightening on his shoulders.

“C’mon Ave, your mom needs you to take a nap so you can have fun later, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered, her voice muffled.

“I love you, Avie.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” she said, finally pulling away.

They both looked to the door at the sound of a throat being cleared. They saw Barry leaning against the doorframe, a smile on his face.

“Avery, Iris is waiting for you in the living room,” he said.

She nodded and left the room.

“This is what I’m talking about, man,” Barry said, “That little girl loves you so much that she needed to come over here to make sure you hadn’t left. The Leonard Snart I met three years ago wouldn’t have done that. Do you remember when Felicity Smoak tricked you into backing down with a vacuum she pretended was an advanced cold gun?”

“For the record, I knew that was fake,” Leonard said over him.

“Felicity Smoak is the maid of honor at your wedding now. Is that not unbelievable to you?” Barry’s expression changed from inspired optimism to vague disbelief, “Wait, isn’t it weird that you met her so long ago and she was your future wife’s best friend the whole time? Isn’t that crazy? I didn’t even think about tha—”

“Barry,” Leonard interrupted, “You were saying?”

“Right, right. Think about Cisco. Almost three years ago, you kidnapped him and his brother, and now he’s dating your sister and he planned your whole freaking wedding! He’s one of your groomsmen!”

“What’s your point to all of this?” he asked, “Unless it’s to drag up all the shitty things I did three years ago.”

“My point,” Barry continued, “Is that all of those changes didn’t just happen randomly, and not just because of Sara and Avery, because it’s been longer than that. It’s because of you. You’re a better person than you were when we first met, and I’m proud of you, and I’m really grateful you let me be your best man.”

He had a point. Leonard didn’t particularly enjoy looking at the person he was several years ago. The fact that he worked with the Legion of Doom, something he couldn’t even believe now, was bad enough, but what was worse was thinking back to the things he’d done to the Flash and his team. It was difficult to imagine how they had become people he worked with and later befriended; they may be a forgiving group, but not that forgiving. It was truly a testament to the person he became — a better person, like Barry said.

It seemed fitting that Barry was his best man. He had seen Leonard become a person capable of being loved by Sara Lance, because it went unspoken, but understood by both of them, that Sara would not have even given the time of day to the man Leonard was not more than two years ago. His groomsmen were part of that journey as well: Joe West, the cop who had given him far too many chances than he deserved and the first father Leonard saw who actually gave a damn about his kids, even the ones that weren’t his own, and Cisco, who Leonard was starting to (begrudgingly) accept would probably be part of his family soon — not that he’d ever tell him that.

Unlikely as it was, these people trusted him to become a better version of himself, and the fact that they were here, on his wedding day, showed him that he had done that.

Over in the other cabin, Sara was beginning to wish she hadn’t complained about starting to get ready so soon, because two and a half hours later, she wasn’t complaining anymore. It looked like it was actually going to take the full three hours to get everyone ready.

Her hair had taken the longest. She had opted to leave it down, rather than pin it up like Felicity had for her wedding. It was loosely curled, and half was pulled up into a twisted braid. Laced into the braid were small peach roses and stems of burgundy heather.

As much as Sara had complained about having a wedding — at first almost serious, and then mostly just to annoy Cisco — she was enjoying herself. So much of her time with Leonard, what with Malcolm Merlyn, her crazy family, and then Nate, had been difficult, to say the least. It was nice to know they had a day that was free of drama, conflict, or potential death, a day that could be perfect.

“Hey,” Felicity said, her voice uncharacteristically calm, “You ready to put on your dress?”

Sara nodded. She followed Felicity into the first bedroom, where a tall mirror and a bust holding her wedding dress was set up.

A few minutes later, Felicity was fastening the last button in the lace fabric.

“You’re all set,” she said. Sara turned to face her, “Oh my God, you’re the most beautiful person in the world. I’m gonna cry.”

“Now you know how I felt at your wedding,” Sara replied, feeling her chest tighten and pinpricks in her eyes, the telltale sign that tears, uncharacteristic as they were, were on their way.

“Don’t even say that,” Felicity said, pulling Sara into a tight hug.

“Please don’t start crying, guys,” Iris said, “We definitely don’t have time to redo your makeup.”

“I’m not crying,” Felicity said tearily as she pulled away from Sara.

“Hey.”

Sara looked towards the new voice and saw her sister standing in the doorway.

“Laurel,” she said, “Hi.”

“Hey Felicity,” Iris said, “Let’s go make sure all the flowers are ready. Right now. Please.”

“Yeah, yeah, good idea,” Felicity nodded quickly. They both left the room, a bit more hurriedly than Sara thought they intended.

“Mom told me where I could find you,” Laurel said, “Wow, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Sara replied.

Laurel stepped further into the room, closer to her sister.

“I wanted to say sorry,” she said, “for Nate.”

“Didn’t you do that at Felicity’s wedding?” Sara asked.

“Uh, yeah, but I don’t think it was a very good apology.”

“Well, I think your exact words were ‘I’m sorry I guess’ so…” she trailed off.

“Well, I wanted to apologize for real. When Nate called me a few months ago and asked where he could find you, I didn’t even think about anything before I told him. I should have asked you first or told you after or something, I dunno,” Laurel said, “It was selfish of me to not consider what it would mean for you, and for Len. I just thought it would be nice for Nate to know how amazing his daughter is, and —” she stopped herself, shaking her head, “But it’s not about what I thought. It was wrong, and I’m sorry.”

Sara gave her a half-smile.

“It’s okay. Thank you for apologizing, but it’s okay. It’s…” she hesitated, “…resolving itself.”

“I’m sorry,” Laurel repeated.

“It’s okay,” Sara told her, “and hey, I’m sorry for being bitchier about it than I probably should have been.”

“I accidentally tried to shift your entire family dynamic!” Laurel exclaimed, “You’re allowed to be bitchy!”

They both laughed.

Sara stepped forwards and hugged her sister. Laurel immediately reciprocated the gesture.

“I’m so happy for you,” Laurel said as she pulled away, “but I should probably go now.  I don’t think there’s much time left until the ceremony starts, and you probably need to keep getting ready.”

Sara nodded, blinking away the tears in her eyes. She walked with Laurel out of the bedroom and into the living area. Laurel waved at everyone before she walked up the stairs and out the front door.

“That looked like it went well,” Felicity commented.

“It did,” Sara nodded.

“Well, there’s about twenty minutes until we have to go,” she said, “You should get Ave ready now.”

Sara nodded.

Avery was in another bedroom, lying on her stomach on the woven rug and looking at a picture book. She looked up when Sara walked in.

“Mama, you look like a princess!” she gasped, jumping to her feet.

“Thanks Avie!” she smiled, “You ready to get dressed?”

“Yes!” Avery exclaimed.

Avery had been anxiously waiting to put her flower girl dress on, but out of everyone, she’d had to wait the longest to get ready. Sara knew that most of the things Avery did, she ended up wearing somehow. She wanted to prevent something happening to the dress for as long as possible.

It was a fairly simple dress, a lightweight cotton fabric of a light blue color. The cream colored hem, resting just above her knees in the front, dropped lower in the back not unlike a train, nearly brushing against the floor as she walked.

Placed on top of her hair (falling in neat curls for once, thanks to the genius hairstylist Iris had brought in) was a crown of the same flowers in Sara’s bouquet. On her feet were cream sandals with a strap around her ankles.

“You look beautiful, baby,” Sara said, hugging her from behind as Avery looked at herself in the tall mirror with a look of wonder on her face, “All you need is your basket.”

She took her hand and led her out into the main living area, where Iris, Felicity, and Dinah were waiting for them.

“Where’s Lisa?” Sara asked.

“She went over to the boy’s cabin to tell them it’s time to go,” Iris answered, “She’ll be back in a few minutes so we can head over.”

At that moment, Lisa was opening the door to the other cabin and walking inside.

Everyone was ready. The groomsmen were all in dark grey vests over white dress shirts rolled up to the elbow. They wore burgundy ties, with stems of heather, the same as in Sara’s hair, pinned to their vests.

Her brother was dressed like his groomsmen, except he wore a dark grey suit jacket over his vest. His tie was a pale peach color, and the flowers on his boutonnière were the same as in Sara’s bouquet and Avery’s crown.

“Hey,” Lisa said, walking into the living room.

“Woah,” Cisco said, “You look amazing.”

“Thanks, babe,” she smirked, “You clean up nice too.” She looked to the rest of the room, “You guys ready to go?”

A chorus of affirmations followed.

“You ready?” Lisa asked her brother, her voice lowered.

“Yes,” he said. Lisa smiled, “You do look beautiful.”

Sara’s bridesmaids were dressed in lace, asymmetrical dresses of a deep burgundy color. Narrow spaghetti straps widened into an open back and deep v-neck. Lisa’s long brown hair was curled, a peach colored rose pinned into a braid at the back.

“Thanks,” she replied, “Just wait ’til you see your wife.”

“She’s not my wife yet,” he said, although unable to conceal a smile as the word left his lips.

“I’m really happy for you,” Lisa said, “You know that, right?”

“Yes,” he sighed in exasperation.

“I mean it,” she continued, “I know all this — a wedding and a wife and a daughter — is something you didn’t really see happening for you, but it is, and you’re the happiest I’ve literally ever seen you. You love those two girls so much.”

“I do.”

“I love you, Len,” she said, hugging him.

“I love you too, Lis,” he replied.

She took a step back.

“C’mon, let’s go get you married.”

Less than ten minutes later, Sara, Avery, and the rest of the wedding party were gathered behind a gauzy curtain shielding them from the guests. The sky was a bright blue, the air was warm, a cool breeze brushing over them.

“You ready?”

Sara turned to see her father.

“Yeah,” she nodded, a smile on her face.

With all the preparations, the visit from her sister, and dealing with Avery, her father was the one person she hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to today.

“Hey, look, I know I’ve said this before, but I’m sorry if I gave you and Leonard a hard time in the beginning,” Quentin said, “I was just trying to look out for you, but now I get that I don’t need to do that. You are strong and smart and you don’t need me to take care of you. I can tell that you love him and you’re happy, and I’m sorry I tried to, y’know, get in the way of that.”

Sara stepped forward to hug her dad.

“This has just been a whole day of Lance family apologies,” Sara said, chuckling.

“You talked to Laurel?”

“I did,” she nodded.

“And you guys are gonna be okay?”

“I think we are.”

“Good to hear,” he said.

“One minute, everyone,” Iris said.

“Gimme a second, dad, I wanna talk to Avery before this starts,” Sara said as she started to turn away.

“Are you ready, Avie?”  Sara asked, crouching down to hug her daughter from behind, her arms wrapping around Avery’s middle.

“Uh-huh,” she chirped, although Sara caught a hint of nervousness in her voice.

“You remember what we practiced?” she asked, “How to do the petals and not go too fast? And you remember to stand next to Felicity once you get up to the archway?”

Avery nodded.

“You’re gonna do great,” Sara said, kissing Avery’s cheek, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Mommy,” she replied.

From behind the curtain, Sara heard the officiant say, “All rise,” and the music start to play.

“You ready to get married?” Felicity asked as Sara straightened.

“Ready.”

“All rise,” the officiant said.

Leonard watched from the side as all the wedding guests got to their feet. He could see Caitlin and Harry in the front row. On the other side of the aisle stood Donna Smoak next to the empty chair that would soon belong to Quentin.

He took a moment to look at the ceremony Cisco and Iris had put together. He had been a little nervous about entrusting them with the task of pulling together his and Sara’s wedding, but he had to admit, they did a really good job.

They had laid down planks of light wood on the grass to give a stable surface to the dark wooden chairs. A narrow, white carpet ran down the aisle, bordered on either side by a trail of the same peach-colored rose petals that were in Avery’s basket. The alter was a step above the rest of the floor, framed by a wooden arch covered in a white, gauzy fabric that fluttered in the autumn breeze.

Leonard’s attention was brought back to the ceremony when the music began to play. He felt a pang in his heart at the sound of the first note on the cello being played.

Leonard and Sara had both laughed at Cisco when he had suggested that the traditional wedding march would play during the ceremony. Cisco had quickly admitted it didn’t quite suit them, but he had then asked what song they did want, and they had no answer for him. Then, a few weeks later, Avery’s ballet school held an evening for parents to sit in on a class and see how their kids were doing. It was then, in one of the final exercises they watched, that they heard Pachelbel’s Canon in D major.

He remembered Sara’s hand squeezing his.

“Did we just hear our wedding song?” Sara asked him in a low voice when the routine was finished.

“I think we did,” he murmured back.

And now here he was, on his wedding day, listening to Pachelbel’s Canon in D major as the curtains behind the rows of seats parted.

Dinah Lance started her walk down the aisle, a small, proud smile on her face.

Leonard waited until Dinah was standing in front of her chair before he made his own walk to the alter, passing in front of one section of chairs before coming to a stop beside the officiant. He felt heads turning towards him, but he ignored them. Dinah met his eyes and gave him a small nod.

Iris and Joe then passed through the curtain, walking arm-in-arm. They parted when they reached the step up to the alter. Leonard caught Joe saying to his daughter, “practice, for when I walk you down the aisle at your wedding”.

When they had separated, Leonard could see Lisa and Cisco walking down the aisle behind them. Lisa met his eyes, a wide smile on her face. Cisco kissed her cheek before they separated, going to stand next to Joe and Iris.

After them came their best man and maid of honor. Felicity and Barry both wore beaming smiles as they walked towards Leonard.

There was a pause after Barry and Felicity parted at the alter, but moments later, Avery stepped through the curtain.

She looked very small from such a distance, barely taller than the chairs their guests sat in. He watched with a smile on his face as she slowly made her way down the aisle, tossing rose petals onto the carpet around her as she went.

She made it about three-quarters of the way down the aisle before she noticed Leonard. She let the basket fall to the ground as she ran the rest of the distance to him, jumping into his arms.

There was a chorus of “awws” from the guests as he lifted her up, swaying her side to side. He planted a kiss on her cheek before gently setting her on the ground. She moved to stand just in front of Felicity.

The burgundy curtain behind the rows of seats parted for a final time, and Leonard was met with the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.

[drreporting]

Convalescence Pt.12

Thanks for following me on this journey. This was my first time writing a two parter so i hope you guys really enjoyed it. As always, lots of constructive criticism and compliments are welcomed.

Monday 18th July 2017.

“Follow my finger.”

“Oh god it’s brain cancer, isn’t it,” the patient exclaimed, panicking as Amelia assessed her, “I have brain cancer.”

Sighing and slowly rolling her eyes as subtly as possible, Amelia announced, “You don’t have brain cancer. You have a concussion.”

The woman furrowed her eyebrows. “Wh-what?”

“A mild one, too.” She pulled out her pad and wrote her a prescription. “There’s a pharmacy right across the street. Have a nice day.”

Seeing walk-in patients with ‘pneumonia’ and ‘brain cancer’ had become her new norm since Friday, when she finally started working again. Although she had agreed to the one week of clinic duty to get her back into the groove of things, seeing patients who’d wrongly self-diagnosed themselves at home was extremely annoying to the point where she contemplated quitting her job. Doing paperwork and lancing abscesses in the ER was work for an intern, and she was no intern.

“I have a surprise for you,” Owen beamed when Amelia exited the exam room, pulling out his phone, “Rosie took her first steps today at day care.”

She took the phone from him and grinned from ear to ear as she watched the video. “She’s gonna be twice as much trouble now.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets, “I just figured you needed some cheering up today, especially after that toe abscess.”

“I did.” She looked up at him and smiled before turning her attention back to the video. “Thank you, Owen.”

He shrugged and smiled. “No problem. How’s your day been so far?”

“Sometimes I get the undeniable urge to eat a handful of ten blades,” she accurately described, “but it usually passes without incident.”

Owen laughed at the joke and smiled. “Well, if…”

“Got another patient, Shepherd,” Stephanie called from the ER desk, cutting him off, “Exam room two.” Stephanie had been running the ER for two inconsecutive days since Amelia had come back and she found that odd, knowing the resident showed a lot of interest in neuro and little to no interest in trauma. Maybe she was being punished.

Sighing sadly, Amelia handed back the phone to him and pouted. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Hopefully,” he teased, planting a quick kiss on her cheek before heading off.

“Good morning, Mr…-” She looked at her tablet – “Spring. How can I help you?”

“I’ve been having migraines for almost ten years,” he explained as he handed Amelia a copy of an MRI, “I’ve also had blurred vision and-”

“Brain stones,” Amelia finished, staring at the MRI in awe. Finally, a patient with a real problem.

---

“Are you sure he doesn’t have coeliac disease?” Derek asked as he and Amelia looked over the MRIs once more.

“They’re doing a spinal tap on him right now,” she replied.

He looked at her with a cheesy grin on his face. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“If you mean CEC syndrome, then yes,” Amelia eagerly announced, unable to stop the wide grin on her face.

“But that’s so rare,” he exclaimed.

“I know!” she agreed.

“Know what?” Meredith asked as she entered the viewing room, two coffees in her hand.

“Amy found a CEC syndrome patient,” Derek proudly announced as he took one of the cups from Meredith.

“Are you gonna operate?” Meredith asked, taking a look at the slides herself.

“I doubt Bailey would clear me for surgery,” Amelia grumbled, wistfully looking at the scans.

“Well, I can’t do the surgery,” Derek reminded her, lifting his air cast, “And it is your patient. You should do the surgery. Ask Bailey.”

“Maybe,” she mused, her fingertips tingling at the thought of cutting into this man’s brain.

---

Owen sat at the side of the cafeteria, eagerly waiting to have lunch with his wife. With the usually unpresentable cafeteria food set neatly at the table for both of them to enjoy together, and the flowers he’d bought last minute to add to the décor, he couldn’t have been more excited to just enjoy a simple lunch with her and talk about lame things like the weather. However, after 20 minutes with no show of her, he ended up eating the whole thing and dumping the bouquet of flowers, safe for one sunflower.

With about 25 minutes left in his lunch, he ventured down the halls of the hospital, not really looking for anyone or anything. He stopped at the OR board to see who was doing what today, and was shocked to see Amelia’s name up on the board for a craniotomy in OR 2. He smiled to himself and shook his head.

---

He rested the sunflower over her tablet, momentarily distracting her from her patient’s chat. With furrowed eyebrows, she picked it up and looked at him questioningly before realising why he put it there.

“Crap,” Amelia hissed, squeezing her eyes shut, “Owen, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he assured her, although he was a little disappointed she’d forgotten, “We can have lunch another time.”

“It’s not okay,” she frowned.

“Forget about it,” he told her, “I saw your name on the OR board earlier.”

Her frown turned into a wide grin. Reaching into her lab coat, she pulled out a sample container holding a number of small, hard objects.

“Are those bladder stones?” he asked, confused.

“They’re stones, but not bladder stones,” she announced, “They’re brain stones from a CEC patient.”

“Really?” He smiled and listened intently as they walked down the hall, simply content with having her happy.

“I mean, the only downside is that I got to operate with Nelson taking the lead, but that doesn’t even matter anymore,” she finished, taking a deep breath, “I want to celebrate right now.”

“Celebrate?” Owen asked, chuckling, “We have a Tim Talk in an hour, how do you plan to do that?”

As they passed the supply closet, an idea struck her. “I only need 30 minutes.” Grabbing onto his tie, Amelia led him into the room.

---

“This is the finish line, guys. I legitimately didn’t think you two would make it here, but you did,” Tim celebrated, “Although…it’s not too late to get that divorce we were talking about.”

“I think we’re good, thanks,” Owen said.

In a lower voice, Amelia whispered, “Send me your guy’s card, just in case.”

Tim laughed. “I’m proud of you guys; you worked hard. I want to say I’m gonna miss you, but that would be a lie.” Amelia and Owen laughed and held each other’s hands. “No seriously, you two caused me a lot of stress induced migraines. Get the hell out of my office and, please, never come back.” He smiled at the two of them and winked.

“I think he genuinely hates us,” Amelia whispered as they left the office.

“I think I would hate us too, to be honest,” Owen agreed, swinging their laced hands in between them, “So, now what?” Amelia shrugged, a lost look on her face. Usually, their meetings would take up 2-4 hours out of the day.

---

“Ahh!” Owen huffed, collapsing to the floor with the camcorder in his hand. “I didn’t get it!”

“How did you not get that?” Amelia exclaimed, sitting down next to him and taking the camcorder to look back at the film, “She was walking for a whole ten seconds!” Rosie sat down and looked innocently at them, wondering what all the big hullaballoo was about.

“I don’t know how this stupid thing works!” he said, crossing his legs and looking over her shoulder, “Can’t I just take the video with my phone?”

“No, because phones fall in water and break and die,” she said, disappointed to find that Owen had, in fact, not gotten the video. Sighing in defeat, Amelia rested her head on Owen’s shoulder and said, “Let’s just give it a rest.”

“I’m sorry,” he told her, kissing the top of her head. “I really thought I got it that time.”

“She’ll walk again when she’s ready,” she said, setting the camcorder down to the side.

Rosie stared at them and giggled, unaware of their plight. Pointing her tiny finger to Amelia, she said, “Dada.”

Amelia smiled, quickly correcting her. “No Rosie, mama.”

The little girl furrowed her red eyebrows, pointing to Owen, “Mama.” She pointed to Amelia again and said, “Dada.”

“I don’t think that’s going to change any time soon,” Amelia chuckled.

“I hope it doesn’t,” Owen remarked, a wistful smile on his face. “It’ll mean that she’s growing up, and I don’t want her to grow up.”

“Neither do I,” she agreed, “I already feel like I missed so much in the last 6 months.”

“You mostly missed her first words,” Owen shrugged, “I mean, I missed Ryan’s, so I guess we’re even now.”

Amelia looked up at him in disbelief before smiling and elbowing him in his ribs. “Ass.”

“I guess we can try again with the next one,” he shrugged.

“Maybe.” She looked at the little girl staring back at her with bright blue eyes, and smiled. “Look at what we made, Owen.”

“I know,” he agreed, sighing contently.

There was a peaceful hum of silence for a moment before she spoke up again. “I want more.”

“I know,” he said, wrapping his hand around her shoulder and squeezing it. He left the topic there, not wanting to push her before she was ready.

“Owen, I meant I want more now,” she clarified.

“Now?!” he exclaimed, looking down at her with widened eyes.

“Well, not now now, silly,” she mused, looking up at him with a nervous smile, “but  9 or 10 months from now, maybe…”

“Really?” he asked, a goofy grin beginning to make its way on his face.

“Well, unless you don’t want anymore and I just assumed…”

“No!” he quickly said, “I want more. I just didn’t think we’d have more any time soon.”

“I thought so too,” she replied, watching Rosie fiddle with the blocks near her foot, “But Rosie’s walking and talking and being miserably independent, and  Ryan reads books and studies now instead of hanging out with his old bat of a mother…”

“You’re not an old bat,” he chuckled, “I’m an old bat.” Amelia giggled, making Owen smile.

“I miss the baby smell too,” she confessed.

“It sounds like someone has baby fever,” Owen taunted.

“Well, did you see Avery and Kepner’s new baby?” she said, “How could you not have baby fever?”

“That baby is cute,” he laughed. Owen pulled away a little and looked down at her. “Amelia, do you really want another baby right now?”

Amelia gazed at him and smiled before reaching up to give him a quick yet tender peck. “I do.”

He didn’t think he could smile any harder. “Then let’s make a baby,” he said, grinning mischievously as he moved her to lie on her back and towered over her, one hand pressing on the floor on either side of her face and trapping her.

“Owen, what?” she exclaimed, pushing on his chest to keep him away, “I didn’t mean now!”

“Now is the best time,” he teased, tugging on the elastic of her shorts.

She slapped his hand away and laughed. “Not in front of the baby!”

“It’s okay,” he said, dotting love bites along her jaw line, “She won’t remember any of this.”

“Ryan is upstairs!” Amelia tried, although she made no attempts to stop him anymore. That was when she noticed, in her peripheral, that Rosie had begun to walk again, this time towards them. She came all the way up to Owen and grabbed his jersey to get his attention. Confused, Owen looked to his side and noticed the baby pouting at her.

“No,” was the simple word she said, although it was fierce and sturdy. She began pulling on his jersey to get him off of Amelia.

“Okay, Red, no babies tonight,” Owen laughed, surrendering and setting Amelia free. He then took Rosie into his arms and cradled her in his lap. The little girl’s eyes had already begun to flutter close when he asked, “Amelia, we’re good, right? We’re okay?”

Amelia looked up at him with a confused, yet amused expression. “Of course…why?”

Owen looked down at Rosie then up at her, a little fidgety. “I just wanted to make sure, you know. Just in case…”

She brought her hand up to his face and caressed his cheek before giving him a kiss. “We’re okay.”

Fin.

[maurasworld]

Money Talk

Hello lovely ladies whom I feel I have under delivered to for the month of January. I feel you all here warmly and I know I add the stress, not you.

I am reflecting today on a new awakening for me, this human, on the planet for 54 years. I account for the time as if there was a limit on how we learn and by when we learn it, yes, in artificial judgment, but I am working through that by writing it out for you…and as always, me.

The topic is money.

I have a long history of making money mean a ton about my awesomeness. If you’ve read already in my book, it, early on made me feel powerful and dominant. I even earlier learned how to work for it, raise it, ask for it for goods and services and had very little wrapped around it.

I won’t go into an admission spiral to unpack it all here but know that I have been turning the Rubik’s Cube daily/hourly since I spent my last $ from my pension, this Fall. I know I am meant to have money. I spend it on terrific things. I see it in my deep space mind, in abundance. My bank account username is Return2fancy. If you say it, it will come.

For me, the universe brings it’s teachers and words right to my ear… if I listen. If I ask. If I drop knowing things.

So, here I am, repeating old patterns with money as a new person. Seven years ago I was learning the rules of having currency in my hands – I did not have money but I had built trust and had skills that could be traded or leveraged for security. This is when Avery and I moved out and lived with my dear friend, Kim. I couldn’t pay her, but we traded our love for each other, and shared her home. We joined her family and gave to her in many ways. Our family mantra became, “Leave the place that you are, better than when you came.” This simple twist of thought about money saved me. I credit my friend, Robin, who listened to me, and my story about life, then offered his truth to me. “You have so much currency that isn’t money to share.”

Shortly there after, I dove head first into the nonprofit world where another relationship to money took hold. I flourished in it. Road the wave of agreements with many a bed or floor space for my cot as we, the charity embarked on our tour across the U.S. We were the band and people said yes, come play with me. With ease I took these opportunities.

The hard stop came with the cancer. Thank you very much. I just realized that I am using that marker, like I used having children as the, “life before and life after” consideration. No worries, there’s not a ton of drama there, just a good denotation of when life turned. So cancer had me receiving in a hard core way with my gofundme. It was delicious. It was so necessary as you may have also read already. So life giving in the “oh my goodness, where is food coming from today” worry from just months before to “oh my I have plenty, please eat.”

Then miraculously I found my $39K pension and lived another year with ease. Until November.

Do you ever feel like Moses raising the seas with your hands? I know he parted them, but I see in my mind’s eye, this rising swell of water by my very own power in the center of dry land. Like it’s some Herculean effort asked of me to find the money for life.

In fact, it kind of is, but what’s Herculean is my own effort to listento “What’s next.”

Behind the scenes as you know, I have been writing this monster curriculum, which accounts for January in reality… like so hard core. I am only half way through the task but it keeps my butt planted for days on end. Morning, noon and night. I can show you more to prove that I have been working, but I know you know.

This item has long been the game plan for growth and posterity for the charity. And I have trusted the process, but what has been happening is in the multitudes. Five schools have bought two different versions of it, none of which have been bought at the full price. I signed contracts, submitted invoices to LAUSD, had conversations about getting a prepayment, all during November, December and January. NOTHING came, until two weeks ago. I was walking, it felt, on skeleton heads in the sea of my own mess. It’s been daunting.

Two weeks ago, I did a deep dive into talking to my dad… but wait, about three weeks ago, I had my lovely psychic read and she swears – I’m fine and money is there. So with conviction of that but living in the reality of what simply wasn’t real in my bank account, I screamed in conversation with my dad (he’s been pretty masterful in making things miracle-like work, so I was looking for his miracle.) During my screaming with him, I’m imploring, “Come on dad, what do I do? What’s the next move? Where’s all the money?” and he said, “I don’t know, kid. It’s on you.”

Talk about wanting to raise the sea… I was FRUSTRATED to be sure that there wasn’t some saving grace answer from him. Just, “mmmm,” not a great answer, I thought to myself, because that means I have to keep going! By the way, that currency I had before, it’s pretty much gone everywhere. I have leveraged it out, I feel. And I also think somewhere along the line I behaved as though that was the only currency, like I was never going to get any real money over here. That’s what was truly in my brain. Like, it was and or is, going to crash. Brick wall. Everything falls. No wonder woman in sight.

GREEEAAATTTT.

Then my sister, Cate, sends me a podcast of the woman who started a nonprofit for felons, called DEFY. It’s a great listen, I cry. See myself in a self-starter, entrepreneur vanguard, get filled back up with my own juice and start to see, that like her, my job for this nonprofit is now to fundraise.

Here’s the subtle catch and place of deep listening, that maybe is screechingly loud to you… I sold my curriculum in for less than it takes to teach it and I was willingly going to try to operate in the world of the universe providing the gap. I was willingly complicit in the less than mind of my own doing.

But I have another voice that I have been given, it’s  from the sweet and highly successful nonprofit runner, Diane Luby Lane, the one I am modeling my work after, and in the past she has said, “We turn no school down when they can’t pay, because we are underwritten.”

HUZZAH. I can finally fucking hear those words and know what they mean for ME!

I HAVE A GAP! That is all. Not, “I am bad and can’t earn money.” Guilt, weight, woe.

The Defy lady, Catherine Hote, had a game plan, she wrote to all her idols and asked for time. She man handled the task and made it her own.

This is mine to do!

My whole brain is listening and popping now with insights. The grocking of new thought. The reality that this is THE next. This is what’s next.  This is what is needed now of me… to grow all the things.

I handed it back to my sister and said, “Imagine that Catherine Hote is standing next to me and she says to you, ‘Do you support your sister’s nonprofit?’” (knowing that she doesn’t directly support it, testing the waters of an inside thought that this is where I need to start.) Friends and family are supposed to make up 30% of a nonprofit’s income. I know this but it’s never been the case. Not one of my family members does. When I extrapolate that to Patreon, only my married into the family members support my efforts. WHAT THE ACTUAL F?

I have been passive in my attempts. I have been cavalier and sort of even dismissive about who joins in the fray. OH MY GAWD, and it doesn’t work!

My brain came into play again. This time, it gave me an idea. I used it on my sister just to test it. She raises money for a charity in Indianapolis, for kids who have lost parents or loved ones - since she was one, too.

Here’s how it went, I said, “Cate, you are a person, let’s imagine, with lots of money. I’m a person who is going to ask you for money for my cause. I have no idea how much you have. And your words to me are, ‘how much do you need?’ So ask me that.” She says, “how much do you need?” I say, “I want all the money, but with you, I’d like you to close your eyes and imagine an amount that you are comfortable giving.” She said, “okay, I imagined it.” I said, “I want double that.” She said, “okay.”

I said, “What do you mean? What did you feel when I said, I want double that?” She said, “I didn’t feel anything. I just agreed.” My mind was blown, because this was my assumption. She agreed to give, hypothetically, double what she was going to give. NOT as it turns out, what she was comfortable giving, but what was asked of her.

MIND BLOWN.

Now, I know money is weird for everyone and this may not play this way each time, but wow.

So for now, I am on a path to mind the gap! Ask, ask, ask and be persistent in my doing. Just like writing this curriculum. It takes butt in seat work. And that is why my dad could not help. There is no miracle right now about this… and yes, I am sure there are miracles lining up, but for me, the path was in the work, not in the prayer and the “I have no idea” faith mode which I can sometimes sit in which only me and my dad or God or spirit or other modality knows the answers how to navigate.

Boom!

Here’s to getting my family over here on Patreon and signed up for monthly contributions to the charity!

Wish me luck!!

[dannybnnt]

What Went Wrong

Summary: Daniel and Avery meet up to discuss their daughter, but the conversation quickly gets away from them. @averygracetb

Daniel couldn't believe that he was meeting up with Avery to talk after their divorce. It seemed unreal and a little unfair that they were forced together so much when things still felt so.. New. They were putting together their case though so they had to figure out what kind of arrangement there would be if Autumn came to live in Chicago. He entered the restaurant and was seated quickly after. He had opted for something not so fancy so it didn't feel like a date but also not like a business meeting. Needless to say, he was nervous and overthinking it. When Avery arrived, he gave her a small smile. "Hey you." He said as he picked up the menu. "I'm starving, so I'm actually eating. Do you want anything?" After seeing Daniel with Isley, the last thing that Avery wanted to do was spend more time with him. How was it that he was so sweet and attentive with this woman when he barely paid attention to her the last few years of their marriage? She knew it was wrong, but she couldn't stop dwelling on it. Upon entering the restaurant, she found Daniel sitting at a corner booth and she slid into the other side. "Hi." She looked him over as she put her purse down beside her. "I might get some fries or something." Her eyes stayed on him for a long moment until she decided to grab her menu as well. He could feel her eyes on him and it was making him squirm in his seat a little. When she finally picked up her menu, he ventured a look at her and was glad when the waiter came to take their order. Once he had ordered, he sat back and began to play with a napkin. "So, is having Autumn here what you really want? Are we ready to take on that responsibility?" "Responsibility? Daniel, she's our daughter. We have wanted this her entire life and we finally have the opportunity to have her back. Our other option is to keep her in foster care." She was upset that he was even exploring other options. Daniel hated how quickly Avery got angry with him. He felt like he could say anything and she would flip her lid. "It's not that I don't want to this. It's just.. A big thing, okay? We have never been parents before and suddenly we're going to take in a 15 year old kid? She's troubled too, I read her file." He sighed. "I want to make her happy and her life good but what if we're not the answer?" "We have to try though, okay? It's our fault she's in this situation and I'm not going to back down just because you're scared. That's the only reason you're trying to back down." "Of course I'm scared, Avery! She hates us and I don't want to force her to come here if it isn't what she wants." He paused as the waiter set their drinks in front of them. "Can you just.. Talk to me without jumping down my fucking throat? We should have just done this over the phone." Avery leaned back against her seat as if that would distance the two of them. The fact that he didn't want to talk to her in person struck a chord with her. "I'm not trying to jump down your throat. This is all stressful and I'm very worried about her. That's all." "I'm worried about her too, Avery. You know me though, I'm not going to let her be in a bad situation." He let out a long breath as the tension began to disappear between them. "If she did move here, what would the living arrangement be? I am building a new house and I was thinking if she came here to live, I could give her a mother in law suite to stay in." "You're building a house?" She stuck on that statement. He was building a house to start a new life with the secretary in. This situation kept making the bad taste in her mouth more and more bitter. "We could just do it like normal divorced parents. She stays with you one week and me the next. We could figure out holidays, maybe splitting up the day or something along those lines." Daniel nodded his head, "Well what about things like rules? Could she date? Her curfew? Are we both going to be on the same page with all of this?" Avery couldn't help but smile as he focused on the small details. He had always been excessively thorough when he didn't need to be. "I already know how this would go with you and I wouldn't fight with you about rules. We just need to respect whatever the other chooses to do so that there are no blurred lines. You have to let her date though, I'm  telling you that now." Big izziegrace showed up!Yesterday at 5:56 PM He could accept that answer. He knew they didn't need to get things like that figured out right now, but it was on his mind and if they got custody of Autumn then it would be an important detail. "I think letting her date would be a bad idea.  Look where that landed us." He pointed out. She rolled her eyes with a smile and a shake of her head. "Teenage pregnancy wasn't our best moment, but it did lead to us getting married for 12 years. Are you saying that I shouldn't have been allowed to date you?" She was being facetious, but she was genuinely curious. Daniel was careful with his answer because he didn't want to get into a conversation that could get him into trouble. "The chances of her finding someone and actually falling in love at 15 are slim. Our situation was different than most." He said with a shrug, giving the waiter a smile as he brought their food. "Besides, I was a little asshole. I don't want a young me around kid of mine." He joked. "You weren't an asshole at all. You were sweeter than you give yourself credit for." She smiled at the thought of her ex-husband when they had first met. Daniel knew he needed to stop the conversation. Talking about the past wasn't going to make anyone feel better. "Anyways." he cleared his throat. "I was talking to the case worker and she thinks she could get us before a judge by next month." She didn't like the abrupt subject change at all. As she moved the salad around on her plate, she nodded her head. "Does this make you feel like maybe we gave up too soon? We just had to make it a couple more months and she would have been with us. We would have been a family." She didn't dare look at him as she spoke. Of course Daniel had thoughts like that, but it was hard to take any of them seriously when he was around Isley. He was in love with his girlfriend, there was no denying that. "I think.. We would have just made her life hard because we couldn't keep it together. Adding a kid to marriage doesn't fix it." "You really don't think that if we had kept going to counseling and you had fired Isley, we could have figured things out?" She knew this was going to end in hurt feelings, but she pushed forward anyways. Daniel was beyond uncomfortable and looking for a way out of the conversation without hurting her feelings. "I don't think so, Avery. I fell in love with Isley the moment I met her. I know that's probably hard to hear but that connection was immediate. There was no way I was going to fire her." Hearing him say he was in love with her made her heart ache. "What did I do to make you fall out of love with me?" She had to ask. He felt sick suddenly and couldn't eat. They hadn't ever really gotten into these details and he wasn't thrilled that it was happening. "It's not like that. I still loved you, okay? We just... Weren't compatible." Avery rolled her eyes, feeling tears fighting their way to the surface. " I've seen the way you treat her and it hurts. That was what I wanted from you for years, for you to just pay attention to me and show me that you loved me. The only time you got cute and affectionate with me was when you wanted sex and even that started to fade. I just don't understand why you're able to be the perfect guy with her but it was such a struggle with me." "It's just different with her, Avery. I'm sorry. I know that this is hard and it will probably be hard for me when you find someone too, but we have to move on. Autumn is bringing us back together in a way, but we have to separate ourselves from any feelings we had from each other. " She didn't know what answer she expected from him, but she managed to be upset by it anyways. Nodding her head, she put her fork down. "Did we talk about everything we need to discuss then?" She asked calmly. Daniel nodded his head slowly "I think so.. I'll let you know when I'm updated about a court date and all of that. We'll get this figured out." She stood up and put her purse on her shoulder. "Thank you. I'll see you later." She needed to get away before she cried in front of him.