#girlboss sexyasf hungry

[ultrachuupiee]

20 August 2021

gosh its been a while since I last been on here. life’s going fine I guess. School’s in a few weeks I'm so nervous for junior year but I'm p sure everything will go smoothly. manifesting high grades and a stress-free year. Ameen. last year was rough lol low ass grades and tons of fucking absences, lets just say I hit lowest point that year. not proud of it but had one of the worst days of my life in grade 10. so much for “fun high school days” all I did was cry lmfaoo but i guess it went ok?? bought a new laptop a few days ago for school since i went be using this laptop for school anymore bc its so f’d up lol but I'll def still use this since it has a lot of my personal shit in it. oh yeah i guess my birthday passed?? I'm 16 now loll tbh kind of feeling resentful. since i didn't spend my 15 year so well?? i mean i didn't make most of it. i always want to make my birthdays more eventful but deadass didn't do shit. cant blame myself tho a whole pandemic took a huge tole on all of us and stripped us off our youth. whatever im still a kid i shouldn't feel like im wasting my youth (even tho it hits me in the feels i don't want to admit it lol) but yeah i shouldn't really worry since this is what im suppose to be doing anyway IM A KID. being 16 is a whole eye opener tho surprisingly i’m into reading alot for the past few months tho, books,writing,music,makeup etc. its been fun. i feel like im slowly getting to know myself better and it feels very fulfilling im so proud of myself :D i have so many worries in life atm tho, i’ll have to pick a course for college and im so scared i’d disappoint my parents by not perusing nursing. its not my dream tho its THEIRS. the problem is i dont even know what i want to do, its so confusing, i dont know what im good at or what exactly my interests are. its partly my parents fault. they didn't put me into clubs or invest time or efforts into sports or activities for me to discover myself. i feel as if im sailing away on a boat in the middle of the ocean. im not good at anything or have any special talents or hobbies. my parents raised me to be exactly like them, blank. empty. i know this is wrong. but everything, everyone, my environment is stopping me from being myself. sometimes i just want to run away from everyone. change my name and move to a whole different country where nobody recognizes me. then i wont be disappointing anyone. this is why i promised myself i wont ever raise my kids the way my parents raised me. they just raised me in fear and thinking of what other people would think of me. and my misogynistic dad ofc has 0 parenting skills since his wife or other women been raising his kids lmfao its pathetic really. mans has never changed a diaper his entire life. though imma give him some credits i mean i wouldn't be here without him and it seems as if he loves me...i guess?? so its whatever. i don't want to think about this much in the end of the day my decisions will pull through whatever anyone says, hopefully i make the right choice. i just need to remember to not let anyone control MY life. anyway im hungry imma go get something to eat. BYEEEEEE