#girl… you neeeed to chill

[urhoneycombwitch]

god was right when she said. in Book of Forreal 3:16. When it comes to pass during the follicular phase of your cycle. You Shall Weep over Steve Harrington being a girldad.

[pellaeas]

Top 5 fansongs?

idk i don't think my favoritism is that strong, but here's 5 underrated ones that I tend not to shut up about

Walk With Me - deepfamilysfish(Firefly99) - Vriska, 2012 - i really really love how Vriska's quirk is involved here. i don't think anyone else has tried to make her say "eight" so much and i love it. and the perfectly in character gracious, melodic victim blaming? great stuff my friend :) walk with me :) take my hand :) let's run together :)

Die And Rise - melodyrose - Rose, 2014 - maybe the most vocally technical song in the category, posted on tumblr to less than 30 notes, basically the rule prover for how hard music gets shafted by social media as a fanwork genre. after all, Tumblr is the only platform you can even post audio directly to (soundcloud is not a social media like twitter/reddit/tumblr/etc. different category. but everyone lets you post video and images)

Every Me, Every You - kitsubasa and scientificSpeculator - Vriska and Eridan, 2012 - the only duet of this pair despite this relationship being a cornerstone of how both of them define themselves by people they're not i.e. their ancestors. this is two people fighting that push-pull of the appeal of Living Up To Legendary Greatness versus contorting yourself into somebody you never were. and the source song rules. the rewrite is sharp. the only homestuck parody i have sung at normie karaoke. i covered it recently

Baby Got Pants - thelof9 - Disciple, 2012 - it's funnnnnyyyyyy. also i'm jelly because i can't roll my rrr's. locked out of leijon VA forever

Nitram Come Home - OhDearLordie - Damara, 2013 - this person's VOICE!!! chills!!! hard time picking one of theirs but i already put a disciple song on this list

oh but also Idle (Aranea), and and and Crew Like Mine (Midnight Crew), and Watch What Happens (Jade), 8etter Than Revenge (Vriska/Aradia), Shoot Me In The Ribs (Gamzee), Grand Highblood's Song, We're Doomed, and and and...

truly i would put everything i've ever played at a Beyond Karkalicious panel in here. but that selection does reveal my bias away from slower ballads and covers-with-quirks and towards higher energy and more involved rewrites.

i've said before repeatedly that anyone frustrated with underrepresentation of girls in fanworks neeeeds to turn eyes on the vocal scene. heartfelt, vulnerably produced girl content DOMINATES the medium and tons of this work got almost no recognition when it was posted.

but the vulnerability of the karaoke stage is what makes it "cringe", alas.

[ewanmitchelllove]

i neeeed head cannons with boyfriend!ewan pls i'm begging you 🙏🙏

Ok so Ewan gives me soft asf vibes when his with a girl. His caring and adorable and always protecting her. But he also lets her do her own thing.

You guys definitely either met through a close friend or are childhood sweet hearts who where meant to be together. If it was a friend who set you up they would definitely have to convince him at first to go on a date but after he’d be so happy that he did.

I can just see them having cute at home dates where he makes dinner and doesn’t let her step foot in the kitchen so she can’t help him. And if you’re cooking dinner hed stand and watch you. There would definitely be dancing in the kitchen together involved when doing the dishes after (you can’t change my mind on that 🥺)

If you’re ill he’d definitely make sure to get you meds you needed and he’d run you a nice hot bath with your favourite hot drink and he’d wash your hair for you.

He’d definitely keep you as private as possible so public dates are very few and far between. He’d love a simple coffee date or even a museum date.

Ewan’s love language is words of affirmation or gift giving. He’d definitely make you a jar of things he loves about you so every day you could pick one out and read it.

His not that much in to pda but if you do go out his always holding your hand and making sure your close to him.

He loves your laugh and giggle so he will tickle you or kiss all over your face just to hear the sound come from you. He will only stop when his had enough of your laugh.

He also loves to play with your hair to get you to sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping this man will literally force himself to stay awake just so he knows you’ve gone to sleep and are happy.

He 100% doesn’t like when you watch him in things but you watch them anyway and he ends up loving your reaction to things in his shows. Like imagine his reaction to you watching the Taoba scene where aemond did the unthinkable. He’d know it would be coming up and he’d either have a shit eating grin on his face or dead pan face not wanting to give away what happened.

On the flip side this man loves his personal space at times and will happily take himself to another room just to chill by himself but not before making sure you’re ok and happy.

[valmerappreciationhours]

Ain’t No Lie (Baby I’m Bi Bi Bi)

Clenny Week Day 1--Fake Dating

Clyde's fake-dating plan needs a boy for it to work. Kenny McCormick seems like the best option. There's no way this could go off course.

(or read on Ao3 here)

how down wud u b 4 pretendng 2 dte me

               Clyde gave the almighty message a nod and folded the ripped notebook paper into a sloppy airplane. He aimed when the teacher’s back was turned, sending the paper careening across the room. Clyde caught Craig’s eye and flashed a toothy grin alongside a big thumbs up. Success! Craig leaned over the gap between their desks and whispered, “You remembered to sign it, right?”

               Best friends as they may be, Craig had always been one to bring down the mood.

               The comment had the desired effect of Clyde straining across his desk to try and see the location of his airplane on the other end of the room, knocking off a flurry of papers in the process. Vaguely, Clyde could hear Craig and Token’s simultaneous sighs, Tweek’s startled yelp, and Jimmy’s chuckling. None of that was what he was looking for, though. That was being picked up off the floor by bandaged fingers in frayed gloves.

               The airplane was examined just long enough to read the name scrawled out in pencil before being unfolded. The reader gave no visible reaction before tucking the sheet inside a beat-up parka and critically glancing around the class. Tired eyes raked over the crowd of faces and-

               Kenny saw Clyde.

               They made eye contact. The teacher droned on. Kenny rose an eyebrow; Clyde nodded as the answer to the unspoken question, grinning just a little sheepishly. Kenny pulled the crumpled paper back out and reread it, then grabbed the nearest pen (which happened to be on Kyle’s desk) and made a few marks. The paper was sent back by airplane, and Clyde tore the paper with the speed in which it was unfolded.

               Y

               Clyde blinked down at the paper. He tapped his pencil to his chin, thinking what to add. What could he say here that would wow the fabled Kenny McCormick? He passed the sheet over to Craig to see as well, whispering, “what would you say are some of my best qualities?”

               Craig glanced back up with a deadpan expression. “He’s asking why you want to pretend date.”

               One could practically see the lightbulb flick on above Clyde’s head. “Oh! That’s way easier to answer!” Before he could turn back to the paper with newfound spark, it was whisked off the desk. Clyde looked up to see the teacher looming with the note, a dark shadow of doom cast over the desk.

               “I must kindly ask you not to pass notes in my class, Mr. Donovan. Last warning.” The paper was promptly tossed out and the lesson returned to, leaving a very distressed jock and a poor kid with a little more interest than he walked into class with.

--

 When the bell rang and students hastily pushed their way out, Clyde was a man with a mission. He and Craig shared a nod and went separate directions, one with the goal to distract an inquisitive friend group, and the other to find a blob of orange in the dense crowd. Clyde fought his way through, sights trained on the orange coat he’d spotted. Almost there—

               “Hi, Clyde.”

               Clyde stared at the boy. That couldn’t be right. “Wait, Kyle, since when do you wear orange?”

               Kyle gave back a funny look. “Since always?”

               “Cut him some slack, Kahl.” One of Eric Cartman’s more prominent skills was surely butting into conversations uninvited. “He’s been playing sports with Stan; you can’t expect him to stay smart.” Cartman cleared his throat and dramatically turned, ignoring Stan’s protest. “What. Do. You. Neeeed?” He blatantly overenunciated, and was happy to do so loudly.

Clyde’s cheeks reddened, but he pressed forward. “Isn’t Kenny usually with you guys?” Cartman was quick to make a wisecrack about Clyde and Kenny, and Stan answered while his friends argued.

“Dude, he’s just in the bathroom. He can’t afford a vape so we know it won’t be too long.”

Not too long, huh. Clyde adjusted his varsity jacket, leaning against the wall in a futile attempt to look cool and chill next to Stan’s infamous gang. The sacrifice would be worth it if he could just get Kenny’s response.

True to Stan’s word, Kenny stepped out after a moment, wiping his hands on dirty, ripped pants. When he looked up and saw Clyde intermingled with his group, his body language lit up. Smooth as anything, he sidestepped his usual crowd and held out a hand to Clyde, who was simply a little confused, but had the spirit and took the hand. Kenny confidently stepped off with Clyde in tow, flashing back a finger-gun and a wink, leaving Stan, Kyle, and Cartman in varying states of shock.

“I totally knew they were gay, you guys! I totally said it!”

The resulting shouts reverberated around the hall, but they were easy enough to tune out. Besides, it just meant the plan was already kicking into gear.

As for the pair, Kenny had yet to put his gloves back on, and Clyde could feel the ridges of every bandage on his hand. The skin was cool to the touch, but surprisingly gentle. If pressed, Clyde would claim that any embarrassment he felt in that moment was simply because Kenny grabbing his hand was out of the blue. Still, he was quick to snap back to the cool-guy demeanor he so desperately wanted to achieve.

“So. Class.” Maybe not as cool as he might’ve been in his imagination.

“Mhm,” Kenny hummed behind his coat. “I was actually thinking we should skip.”

Clyde grinned. “Cool.” His math homework lay unfinished in his folder, so a little postponement would be beneficial on all fronts here. He’d take Kenny over algebra any day. Clyde swung their joined hands aimlessly between them, smile still dancing on his features. “Where were you thinking of going?”

Kenny looked over, eyes twinkling. “Well I don’t take cute boys to the Goth hangout.”

Led by Kenny, the two dashed out a forgotten exit at the end of an abandoned hall. From there, it was a short walk through overgrown weeds and unshoveled snow to a weary-looking shed. Clyde eyed the building warily; the hinges creaked when Kenny pried open the door, and the thing seemed to sway with the wind. Besides, the whole structure was grimy and rotten. Clearly forgotten, it was the perfect place for sneaking away to, at least.

Inside, Kenny had already plopped onto the floor. He waited for Clyde to join in the dirt before starting the conversation with about as much taste as one could expect from the most troublesome gang in school. “Trying to impress the Asian girls or what?”

“Huh?”

Kenny leaned back, casual. “Creek was a big hit; my first guess is that you wanted a piece of that attention. Guy and guy, people eat it up.”

“Well—actually, I hadn’t thought about that…but no! No one believes I’m bi.” Clyde paused, waiting for a reaction—there was always a reaction—but his companion was living up to his reputation of being the quiet type. “Token thinks it’s the jacket, but Jimmy thought it was a joke when I told him I like dudes!” It had been upsetting at the time, but remembering his friend laughing and snorting chocolate milk out of his nose helped. “I thought, if I showed people I could date guys, then they would be lining up after we stage a break-up!” It was a fool-proof plan, if he did say so himself.

Kenny nodded. “Solid. So what brought you to Kenneth McCormick?”

“Aside from being one of the only out guys in school, come on! You’re Kenny McCormick!” Clyde gestured to his friend, voice loud and excited. “Everyone knows you’re basically a relationship god! Besides, it won’t be as much of a big deal, because, uh…” Clyde’s spark fizzled out awkwardly, one hand rubbing his neck.

Kenny’s expression remained unchanged. “Because I get around.”

“Which is like, so cool.” Clyde said quietly, afraid of disturbing the tense atmosphere. The awe, however, was genuine to its core.

Kenny’s right eye crinkled ever so slightly. “Yeah. ‘Cept the dying from syphilis.”

The cold air that filled the shed didn’t seem to matter at all in that moment, nor the dilapidated and disgusting wood they were sat on. What did matter was that the atmosphere between them was warm, just two bros hanging out and skipping class. Clyde watched the small puffs of warm air drift up out of Kenny’s parka and watched the way those blue eyes shone with mischief. This was gonna be such a great idea.

 --

 “Hey, babe!”

               Token, Tweek, and Jimmy watched with wide eyes as Clyde hailed Kenny over to their lunch table, draping an arm around him. Clyde’s round face was lit up with a grin.

               “The m-m-madman actually did it.” Jimmy’s mouth hung open, braces glinting in the light.

               “Oh my god.” Token’s salad lay forgotten in the wake of this much more important news.

               “Gah!” Tweek grabbed onto his boyfriend’s sleeve. “Did you know about this? Has this always been happening? Kenny?”

               Craig continued to poke at his mashed potatoes. His voice maintained its flat nature, but those who knew him well could notice the small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Clyde’s my best friend; I knew. They’re kind of perfect for each other.”

               Kenny continued to hover at Clyde’s side, the two of them deep in conversation. Kenny was laughing, Clyde looking insanely proud of himself. It was Token who recovered from the sheer shock first.

               “Uh, why don’t you sit down, Kenny?”

               A pleased noise made its way out of the thick orange parka, and Kenny slid onto the bench next to Clyde. His arms were noticeably empty, but he used that as an opportunity to sling one around Clyde’s shoulders.

               Tweek stared, eyes as large as saucers. “How long?”

               “A whole week,” Clyde proudly announced, spraying half-chewed food across the table.

               “I g-gotta hand it to—to you, Clyde. I didn’t think you could get a b��bo—a bo--, I didn’t think you could s-snag a man.” Jimmy leaned on the table, soaking up the news.

               “Yeah, man,” Token smiled, ever the diplomat, “Congratulations!”

               Tweek tapped his fingers anxiously on his thermos, continuing to stare directly at the new duo. Jimmy leaned farther across the table, stage-whispering to Clyde, “h-how much did you p-p-pay for that one?”

               Kenny leaned onto the table, matching the other, calm. “You couldn’t afford me.”

               That sent the table into a fit of laughs, save for Tweek, who only produced a weak chuckle and narrowed his eyes at Kenny. When the object of scrutiny looked over, Tweek mouthed a small “I don’t trust you,” and twitched. If a member of Stan’s gang thought he could just waltz into their clique and manipulate Clyde’s heart, he was sorely mistaken. Tweek would be cautious. He’d protect his friends.

               Tweek was startled out of his thoughts, yelping when he felt a sudden hand on his arm, but looked over into the concerned face of his boyfriend. “Are you okay?”

               “It’s Kenny,” Tweek whispered, agonized.

               “Clyde’s happy,” Craig responded casually.

               Tweek nervously glanced back to the intruder. Clyde was leaning on Kenny, waving his hands as he told a story. Kenny watched with passive interest, blue eyes alight. The two looked so comfortable next to each other, bright and content. Tweek twitched. “Clyde’s happy,” he had to admit. “But if Kenny turns out to be an evil monster from another dimension, it’s—gah! —it’s not my fault when all our souls get stolen!”

               Across the table, Kenny snorted.

 --

 “Do you want Doritos or barbeque chips?” Clyde called out from his perch on the kitchen counter. His arms were already laden with food, but chips were mandatory to complete the hangout.

               “Barbeque!” Kenny yelled back from the other room. Clyde added the red bag to his collection and climbed down to head back. He rounded the corner into the living room and dumped his snack spoils into a heap on the ground. Kenny’s blue eyes were wide as he took in the size of the pile.

               “Just grab whatever, I don’t know what you like.” Clyde plopped himself down on the carpet and extracted a soda. It hissed as he cracked it open and took a sip. Kenny scooted over, abandoning his notebook, hand hovering over the snacks. He finally grabbed a packaged cupcake and eagerly tore in.

The weather may have been getting colder, but the inside of the Donovan household was plenty warm. Clyde had ditched his varsity jacket for a t-shirt and some old sweats, while Kenny still donned his heavy parka. It was making Clyde sweat just looking at the faux fur trim and heavy fabric. “You wanna lose the coat, dude? My dad’s got lots of heaters.”

Kenny looked up from his food and shook his head. “Nah,” and his eyes crinkled, “you couldn’t handle all the looks I’m packing.”

“Maybe I should get a parka then,” Clyde mused. “It would help from having to fend the ladies off with a stick. This beauty is a curse.”

Kenny raised an eyebrow at the last comment, but didn’t say anything. Clyde was getting used to that; after hanging out with his group who always had something to say, the silence was a bizarre shift. He supposed it balanced out the constant screaming and arguing by the people Kenny hung out with.

Kenny happily moved to grab the bag of chips, and Clyde slid him a soda and juice as well. Kenny opted for the juice box, maneuvering the straw through the zipper of his mouth guard. Clyde stared down the fabric, curiosity ebbing at his thoughts. Maybe Kenny was right; maybe he was unspeakably attractive behind that coat. Kenny caught his eye, and Clyde quickly glanced away.

The snack pile slowly wore down, no match for their combined appetites. Clyde led the conversation between mouthfuls of food, from video games to the latest drama to why Red Racer was actually cool and not a nerd show, and no, Craig did not have him brainwashed. Clyde was happy to blabber on, and the jokes Kenny intercepted with were of the utmost quality. Indeed, Kenneth, that is what she said.

Clyde swallowed his chewed cheese snacks, and made the spur of the moment decision to drag Kenny into the current topic. “How would you rate the guys in our class?”

Kenny wiped his mouth. “Stoley’s a zero. Don’t like that he has the same name as my brother.”

“You have a brother?” The little Karen McCormick he knew about, but another sibling was a surprise. “How come I haven’t seen him?”

Kenny shrugged, leaning back on his hands. “He dropped out. Kev’s working at a car garage now.”

The pieces fit together in Clyde’s head. “Oh! Because your family’s poor!” He felt proud of his innocent realization, but that soon dwindled. Kenny’s tired eyes stared him down, and Clyde was suddenly struck with the sheer number of wrappers that surrounded his friend on the floor. “But cars are cool!” he tried. “I can’t wait to drive!” The wind in his hair, a shiny new vehicle, impressing everyone around; it was a dream.

“I’ve already driven,” Kenny proclaimed, happy to share his accomplishment. “And I didn’t even die once.” Of course, Stan’s gang would’ve gotten into that. Nothing stood between those guys and doing whatever they wanted.

“I hope you didn’t die,” Clyde shot back, smile tugging at his lips as he climbed up onto the couch. He grabbed the remote from where it was wedged between two cushions.

“You’d be surprised.” Kenny laid back on the carpet, arms crossed behind his head and eyes closed.

“It would suck so bad if you died, dude.” The noise of various channels filled the room as Clyde flipped through, but things were weirdly quiet in Kenny’s corner. When Clyde looked over, his companion had a strange look on his face.

“Yeah,” he finally responded, gaining humor in his voice, “you’d have to find some other sorry guy to fake date you.”

“Hey! You suck!”

“I didn’t know we were at that stage of our relationship,” Kenny taunted, waggling his eyebrows.

“Shut up, dude!” Block it out, Donovan, block it out. This is just some temporary stuff, chilling with a homie. Grabbing the attention of some cute guys in the school while casually respecting the cute guy in front of him platonically. Still a good plan. “Wanna pick a movie? My dad gets home in like three hours.”

Kenny gave an enthusiastic thumbs up and leaned against the couch as the film played. Clyde had to keep himself from inviting his friend up to the couch as well. Cuddling during movies is not a bro activity, he reminded himself. Kenny’s parka would be stifling pressed against his skin anyway.

 --

 “No, he’s dating Kenny McCormick.”

               “Yeah, he’s hella bi.”

               Clyde strolled through the halls, head held high, confidence levels way up. Being a topic of hallway conversation made his heart swell and put a little skip in his step. His eyes caught on a poster hanging on the wall, and it only made his grin spread.

               Art Club Wednesdays, the sheet announced. Beneath the colorful lettering was a drawing, bursting with oranges and reds. The shading was bold, and the fabric folds boasted a level of artistic expertise. The limbs may have looked a little wonky, but it got the point across.

               Clyde raised his phone to take a quick picture. He’d say they captured his roguish handsomeness pretty well.

 --

 “You guys are so cute!” Bebe had gushed in the back row of Home Ec. In the seat beside her, Kenny poked a needle and thread through his project, making a noise of agreement. “I think it’s good he’s found someone, I felt so bad for the guy after we broke up.” She pressed another pink sequin to her own swatch of fabric and set to stitching it on.

“I’d say he’s pretty satisfied right now.” Kenny winked at Bebe, who bumped him on the arm, careful not to disrupt their stitching.

“You’re a dog, McCormick.” Bebe’s eyeroll was betrayed by the smile playing at her painted lips.

“Maybe so.” Kenny shrugged, slipping the needle through again. “No complaints so far.”

“Hey,” Bebe prompted, “Has he fallen asleep on you yet?” Her eyes were bright, and the lift of her mouth just a tad mischievous.

Kenny raised an eyebrow and leaned closer. “Oh?”

Bebe adjusted her project on the table. “When we were dating, he would always be so affectionate. It’s like moving a cat.” When she finished her current loop stitch, she fished out her phone and unlocked it. “I think I still have pictures of him drooling everywhere. It’s always important to have blackmail material.”

Kenny bit the end of his thread off with his teeth, and began threading a new one. “But he’s real soft for cuddling,” he provided, “like a built-in pillow.”

“That was top-tier snuggling,” she admitted, sliding her phone over. “Check out these pictures.”

“Holy shit.” Now that was the good stuff. Equal parts adorable and terribly embarrassing. Bebe Stevens was truly an artist.

Caught up in the photos, Kenny’s hand and needle slipped, effectively intercepting his other arm at an angle that tore open a line of skin. The blood gushed out, and he hissed, covering as much of the wound as he could. His glove and fingers quickly stained red. Bebe yelped at the sight, but reacted fast, grabbing both of their projects out of the splash zone. “You’re a real one,” Kenny smiled at her, albeit weakly. He shot off a quick and earnest finger gun before falling out of his stool.

 --

 Bebe was right in the statement that Clyde was affectionate. He was always pressing his knee against Kenny’s at lunch, or swinging their hands together when they walked. Kenny had made an educated guess in saying that Clyde was like a pillow, and he was indubitably pleased to find that it was true.

               Kenny was finding a lot of things about Clyde pretty great, actually.

 --

 “—but Craig doesn’t like coffee at all so I wonder how he kisses Tweek so often, you know?” Clyde prattled on, breath forming puffs in the cool Colorado air. The layer of snow left on the sidewalk crunched as the duo strolled through, hands wound together.

               “Maybe the homo cancels out the coffee,” Kenny theorized, the idea doubly muffled by his hood and the whistling of the wind.

               Clyde tapped his chin. “That does make sense, but I was also thinking that Tweek probably kisses all quick since he gets nervous like that and Craig isn’t affectionate anyway—”

               “How would you kiss me?” Clyde looked over to the glittering blue eyes of his fake boyfriend. The wind was rough, and had blown out a few strands of blond hair from the confines of the parka. Despite the time they’d known each other, Clyde still had trouble distinguishing the other’s mischievous teasing and genuine intrigue. It probably had something to do with the small amount of uncovered skin or the already quiet nature. He doubted Stan or Kyle or Cartman could do any better.

               Clyde opted to answer with the guess that Kenny was messing around, which he thought was pretty likely. He stopped in his tracks, moving the hand that wasn’t holding Kenny’s to the latter’s hood. The crinkle that characterized a typical Kenny grin was quickly replaced with wide eyes. “Ken, dude, babe, I would kiss you into next week. People would talk about it for generations as the best kiss ever conceived. It would be legendary.”

               Kenny gingerly took Clyde’s hand from his hood, holding it in his own. “I think you’re mistaken,” he hummed. “I’m sure the school would agree that I would be the one kissing you into next week.”

               Clyde considered. “It would get a lot of attention…” That was the goal here, after all. If giving Kenny a smooch would help accomplish it, so be it. There were definitely worse people to kiss.

When it came to it, attention was certainly grabbed. Deemed the perfect time by the amount of student traffic between classes, Clyde and Kenny nodded like the genius agents they believed themselves to be. After exchanging quick conversation, they knew it was time to enact.

               “I’ll see you after class,” Kenny cooed.

               “See you later, babe,” Clyde concurred, and reached over to pull down the piece of the coat covering Kenny’s mouth.

               The worn fabric bunched, and Clyde was struck with the face of an angel. Pink and purple bandages hugged the curve of Kenny’s cheek and the point of his chin. Freckles exploded across his thin cheeks, darting across his nose, cut by various scar lines. Dried blood still presented itself on the corner of his lip, which had obviously been busted. Kenny was missing a tooth on the right side, prominent and unspeakably adorable when he grinned. Clyde could have stared forever, but was interrupted by Kenny leaning in and pressing their mouths together.

               And he thought just looking at Kenny was good!

               When the fireworks finished, Kenny’s coat was back up in half a second. Clyde had decided that damned parka would be his new greatest enemy. Sorry, Arby’s cashier on Maple Street, there’s new priorities. “You were right,” Kenny proclaimed with a teasing lilt, smile evident in his voice, “you were doing some serious kissing.”

               When Kenny turned tail and went to class, Clyde stared after. He continued to stand in the hallway after the bell rang, too focused on the phantom brush of heavy fabric on his face and the metallic taste of a bleeding lip in his mouth.

 --

 “When are you going to break up?”

               Clyde looked up from where he was struggling with his essay. “Break up with Kenny?”

               Craig spun around in his desk chair, so Clyde could clearly see him roll his eyes. “Unless you’re dating someone else. Yeah, Kenny.”

               Clyde blinked. “Why would I break up with Kenny?” This conversation was making about as much sense as his homework. Craig always seemed generally supportive, and Clyde thought his escapades with Kenny were going well.

               The two stared at each other for a few awkward moments before Craig finally gave in. “You’re fake dating. You thought it would be a great idea to use him to start raking in the boys.”

               “Oh yeah!” It was all clicking back into place now! “Oh god.” They weren’t actually dating. That forgotten fact came back around like a freight train.

               Craig gave him a long hard look. “How do you forget you’re fake dating someone?”

               Pink tinged Clyde’s cheeks. “It felt very real!” he defended.

               Craig set his pen down, lab report abandoned. “Well, do you think it’s real?” Clyde paused, and Craig continued, voice as even and monotone as ever. “You’ve talked more about Kenny in the past month than Red Racer. It got on my nerves but you looked sooo happy.”

               “He’s a really good kisser,” Clyde added fondly.

               Craig leaned back. “I would say just ignore emotions until they go away,” he sighed, “but Tweek would tell you to talk to him.”

               Clyde grinned cheekily at the mention. “You mean, all this time, Tweek was the master of relationships?”

Craig’s mouth twitched into what might barely count as a smile. “Yeah. He’s way better than you could ever be.”

Clyde fell back onto the carpet, clasping a hand over his chest. “The betrayal! From my own best friend! You are not getting invited to my wedding!”

The words fell on only half-interested ears, as Craig had turned back to his science papers. “Bold of you to believe I would show up anyway.”

“You wound me, Craigory.”

“Then perish.”

 --

 It was the perfect location, in Clyde’s opinion. The Taco Bell on the corner of Gibson Avenue was a shining pillar of all that was right and delicious in the world. The third table by the window had been there for so many special moments and endless menu combinations. There could be no better place.

Clyde figured if Kenny fake-real dumped him, he could just drown his sorrows in nachos and spicy chalupas. Taco Bell would understand.

The two slid into their usual seats, the familiar smell of seasoning and meat easing some of Clyde’s nerves. Truly the best place, and today had to be the day. If Tweek was utilizing relationship knowledge that could help Craig Tucker of all people, Clyde was smart enough to take it to heart. It was just a matter of bringing it up.

“So, how’s dating me going?”

Kenny looked up, bemused. “You’re the man of my dreams, Clyde Donovan. I’m swept off my feet.” He pulled some coins out of his coat and began counting them out on the table.

Clyde flushed. “I mean actually. I wanna talk about dating you.”

“Oh.” Kenny looked up, shifting a penny to a second pile. He looked disheartened, but Clyde just had to push through, and then he could cry into his tacos. No backing out now.

“I wanna date you for real.” The words tumbled out in a rush, destroying any façade of cool.

The seconds ticked by. This was it; the deciding moment. The answer that would determine the rest of their interactions for forever. The two stared at each other, brown eyes against blue.

The tense silence was broken by Kenny leaning far back in his seat, fists in the air, punctuated by a muffled “woo-hoo!” The clatter of the chair and boy hitting the hard floor reverberated through the restaurant. Other customers looked over, undoubtedly irritated by the disruption, but the employees, upon seeing the two familiar faces, didn’t bother to bat an eye.

Clyde leaned over the table, eyebrows bunched, concern cut across his face. He found Kenny sprawled, limbs caught in the topped chair, grinning like a madman. He made no move to get up from the greasy tile, but his eyes glittered. “I was hoping you would.”

A matching wild smile spread across Clyde’s face. “Wanna celebrate with tacos?” He stretched over to better look Kenny in the face.

Kenny got a hold on Clyde’s jacket, closing the space between them. He shrugged. “Can’t afford it. I’ll see what I can get off your face.”

Clyde quickly pulled his boyfriend to his feet, rushing toward the register. “Then what are we waiting for? Finally, my two favorite things combined into one!”

“Me and tacos?”

“You and tacos!”

 --

 A month had passed, and the two were lying on the Donovan’s carpet amidst cola stains and snack wrappers, when a question hit Clyde. A question he hadn’t considered before, but was important enough that he knew it wouldn’t go away until he asks. He looked up from his Animal Crossing town to gaze at his boyfriend.

               “Why did you agree to fake date in the first place, anyway?”

               Kenny grinned, and Clyde knew seeing that missing tooth and freckles would never get old. “I thought it would be fun.”

               The simple phrase made Clyde smile, and he knew he had Cheeto dust caked on his cheek, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. “You were right.”

               “You know what else would be fun?” Kenny set down his PS4, and Clyde could swear that the glow from the screen didn’t match any graphics he knew of, but there were more important things at the moment.

               “Making out?”

               Yeah, he was always gonna love seeing that smile.

[staticscreenwriting]

casual moths - chapter five

Due to Tumblr not showing my stuff in the tags whenever I add links, I had to delete the links to previous chapter. Find them by adding /angel-reyes-fanfiction after my URL :)

If you liked this part and wanna help me out, please consider a reblog. Thank you.

Chapter five - mornings & myths

“ That is not right, who does that ? “

“ I do “

“ That’s ridiculous. That’s not how it works. “

“ Who makes the rules ? “

“ I uh — no one but it’s common sense. “

“ I’m 4 I don’t know what that means “

The bickering of voices wakes Callie from a deep comfortable slumber. Looking around, she’s met with the sun shining through the curtains and onto the couch. She must’ve fallen asleep here once her and Angel had gotten too cold on the balcony and decided to move it inside.

They just talked. For a long time about a lot of stuff. And though he managed to stay away from all club related business, he did allow himself to get vulnerable with her. He talked about his mother and EZ and how unappreciated and lonely he feels most of the time. And it broke her heart. It still breaks her heart.

He’s been nothing but wonderful to her and Daisy and to know that he doesn’t receive all the love he deserves, not even from his own family, sends a metaphorical dagger straight to her heart.

Talking about Daisy.

Her little giggles carry from the kitchen and echo through the house, followed by Angel’s low chuckles.

As Callie gets up and leans against the doorway to the kitchen, she is faced with a sight that makes a warm fuzzy feeling spread throughout her entire body.

Daisy is sat on a chair by the kitchen isle, big bowl of cereal in front of her and smile on her face as Angel leans against the opposite site of the counter making silly faces at her.

“ I don’t know who told you this but putting milk before cereal is coo coo crazy. “

“ It’s delicious ! “ Daisy replies and furrows her little eyebrows in mock offence.

“ It’s wrong, girly. Sorry but It’s wrong. “

“ Mommy says it doesn’t matter as long as I eat my breakfast “

“ Ya know what ? Your ma is probably right “ Angel agrees and there’s a smile spreading on his face, so warm and welcoming, as he looks at the little girl. It makes him look so at peace with life. He looks so soft and loving and much younger than his usual frown makes him look..

Callie finds herself wishing she could put that expression of ease and comfort on his face more often.

The scene before her make her wonder if things could ever be like this permanently. If maybe somewhere down the line, if things with her and Angel go that way and work out, she gets to wake up to this more often. To her kid smiling and her — her Angel smiling along.

This is something she never thought she’d get. Ever. And maybe the universe is feeling generous right now but if this is as good as it gets, she’s not going to complain any time soon.

Angel spots movement from the corner of his eyes and as his gaze lands on Callie.She looks at him in a way he hasn’t been looked at in forever. He can’t tell exactly what it is but there’s a warmth and a familiarity that he’s missed so dearly for so long.

“ Look who’s up “ Angel exclaims and nods his head towards Callie and making Daisy swing around in her chair to see who he’s talking about.

“ Yeah, you two are bickering so loud I had to come investigate. What’s the issue here, huh ? “

There’s a smile on Callie’s face as she walks into the kitchen. One that she can’t wipe off no matter how much she tells herself that this is silly.

“ Angel puts the cereal first, then the milk. “

“ Uh yeah, because that’s the only right way to do it. Do you know that your kid eats cereal all wrong ? “ Angel asks, lightly brushing his hand against Callie’s back as she passes him to pour herself a mug of coffee.

It sends little tingles down her spine. God, she feels like a teenager again.

But at the way Angel’s eyes sparkle. At the subtle shimmer they hold, she can tell those feelings of giddiness are more than reciprocated.

“ I know this but honestly, I’m happy she’s eating at all. There was a phase when she refused to eat anything that wasn’t red so I’m not complaining “.

Angel just nods his head at that. Makes sense really.

“ Sooo, what are you ladies up to today ? “

He can immediately see the flicker of excitement in Daisy’s face at those words.

“ Going to grandma’s “

“ Grandma’s huh ? Is it fun there ? “

“ So fun. Grandma has a dog and a pool. “

“ No way !”

“ Uh huh. Right mommy ? “

Callie mulls her next words over in her head. Maybe it is a dumb idea but maybe — maybe it is just what both her and Angel need.

“ Yeah we’re having a BBQ. Bunch of friends and family coming over. It’s a thing we do every other month. Just a small chill get together. Kids play in the pool, adults collectively make fun of my uncle or sister. You should — you should come “.

Angel is glad he isn’t taking a sip of coffee in that moment cause it sure would’ve come right back out in a great spit-take.

“ To your mom’s ? “

“ Yeah. Is that weird ? Oh god, it’s weird. I’m sorry. I just thought it would be fun and my family is great so I’m sure they would welcome you with open arms and I — god I’m sorry. “

To be honest, he feels flattered. No one’s ever liked him enough to take him to a family gathering. Hell, even his own family seemed more at ease whenever he decided not to show up to their family reunions. But it means a lot to hear Callie invite him. To know she wants him there.

“ Nah, it’s not weird it’s nice. I just — I can’t today.“

“ Angel you neeeed to come. You can see me swim and meet Lola. “ Daisy exclaims loudly.

“ The dog ? “ Angel assumes.

“ Yup. She’s a Labragor. “

“ A Labrador, baby. “ Callie corrects her daughter, unable to keep the smile off of her face.

“ You know what ? “ Angel says, though his words seem to be directed at Daisy, his eyes are solely focused on Callie’s, “ I’d really like that “.

And the both know he’s not talking about the dog.

“ Next time you let me know a bit earlier and I’ll clear my schedule. ‘kay little lady ? “

At the way she’s pouting slightly, Angel can tell Daisy isn’t 100% happy with that, but she’s nodding slightly so that’s a good sign. Knowing she’s upset he can’t come, makes him feel both bad and slightly flattered.

And then there’s that look on (Y/N)’s face and the was she says “ We’d really love that”. Like it matters. Like him being there makes all the difference to her. And maybe it does.

So he’d be there next time.

Promise.

-OOO -

Angel leans against the porch railing, beer in one hand, cigarette in the other. There’s music loudly blasting through the clubhouse and it’s packed with people.

He’s still covered in grease and dirt from working at the scrap yard all day. When he said he couldn’t come to Callie’s family thing, he really meant it. Bush had been on his ass for a while now, telling him to put in more work and run off less often. And to anger his Pres is the last thing Angel wants to do. So all day has been spent fixing up cars, finding certain parts to sell to customers and getting increasingly more dirty and covered in grease.

Now that day has turned into night, the clubhouse is buzzing. There’s people everywhere. Dancing and drinking and making out and when usually he’d be one of them, right in the middle of it all, now he sits by the sidelines and watches. This has been the family he’s come to love so dearly for so many years. He never ever felt like he wanted to go home. There was nothing to go home to.

But as he sits there now, his mind wanders towards Callie and Daisy and he wonders what they’re doing now. Probably sleeping already or sitting on the balcony watching the stars. The same stars he can see from his place on the porch. And maybe they’re thinking of him too and wondering what he’s doing.

For the first time in a long time, Angel wants to leave the party early. To go and be with someone who’s door will be open. Whos arms will be open.

His eyes wander around the scrap yard. This life, his life, is so different to the little piece of heaven he got to experience with his girls lately. It’s loud and hard and rough and nothing like the soft touches,the small giggles, the affection and love that’s been poured onto him.

He wonders if there’s ever a proper way to combine the two worlds. To make Callie understand this part of him. To bring her around and introduce her to everyone. A single mother who owns a flower shop, really isn’t the kind of person to spend her time at motorcycle club parties. And yet, he so desperately wishes that there’s a solution to his problem. That somewhere in the future lies a path where he doesn’t have to choose between the two eventually.

The touch of long slender fingers against his shoulder, takes him from his daydream. And as he glances towards his left, there’s a girl he’s never met before, with eyes full of lust and longing.

“ Hi, I’m Lilly. “

If this was any other day, he would’ve had her on his lap by now, tongue touching her tongue. But it’s not.

Today he’s woke up cuddled to a woman he assumes must be an actual angel. He’s has breakfast with her and her kid who is as adorable as can be. He’s felt home. Felt it all the way to his heart.

There’s nothing Lilly can do for him.

“ Yeah? Well see that guy over there ? That’s EZ, he’s a prospect. He could use a good time.”

He doesn’t wait for her response, just finishes his drink and stubbs out his cigarette and moves through the clubhouse towards his room. He can still hear the music and the laughter but with his door closed, the world seems to slow down a little. Fumbling his phone from his pocket, he considers his next move for a moment. Surely Callie is asleep or at least lounging on the couch. Would she even want to talk to him at this time of the night ?

But then again, she hasn’t given him a reason to doubt it. She’s always welcoming, always warm smiles and soft touches and sunshine personified. Always.

He dials the number before his insecurities can rear their ugly heads and talk him out of it. God, he’s being ridiculous. This is straight up teenage behavior.

“ Hello ? “

Her voice sounds tired and raspy. Like she’s just woken up or at least has been close to sleep when the phone rang.

“ Hey, it’s me. Did I wake you ? “

“ Hi, Angel. Oh no, don’t worry “ she says and lets out a small laugh, he’s not sure he fully believes her but hearing her laugh makes all his guilt disappear. Hearing her laugh is worth it all. “ I was just sitting on the balcony, reading a book. “

“ Yeah ? Any good. “

“ Meh. Why are you calling ? You okay ? “

“ Yeah. Just — wanted to talk to you. “

He’s never felt like this about a woman before. Like he is missing something when she isn’t around. And maybe it’s delusional to feel like this after such a short time. But life is fucking ridiculous during the best of times. Maybe a little bit of disillusion and disregard for what people expect isn’t all that bad.

“ Oh that’s sweet. We really missed you today. Daisy has been talking people’s ears off about you. She adores you. “

His heart soars at that. If he can make Daisy love him. If he can win her over. If she, of all people, thinks he’s a good one, than that counts for something. She’s all good things. Sunshine and happiness and flowers and love. Making her like him, makes him insanely proud.

“ You girls had a good time ? Did she get to swim? Get cuddle the Labragor ? “ Angel asks, a low chuckle following his words.

“ She did. It was nice. My family can be a lot but I love them dearly. Technically Daisy can’t swim properly but she’s learning. She’s always wearing floaties and someone’s in the pool with the kids at all time so, yeah. I think she’s had a good day. ”

“ I’m glad. ‘m happy you’re happy. 

“ I wish you were happy too. “

“ I am. I’m getting there “  … and it’s mostly because of you. He wants to add that but doesn’t instead his brain conjures up a mush of words and thoughts and ends up with:

“ Can you see the stars ? “

It’s a terribly cheesy thing to say and Angel even scrunches his face in discomfort as the words leave his lips. It felt like his heart had a grip over his mind, over his mouth. His heart was speaking and the rest of him just had to sit and hope for the best.

“ I am yeah. Sky’s clear tonight. What about you ? “ she doesn’t take the piss. Doesn’t judge. Doesn’t even wonder about his question. Callie just acts like that’s a conversation they have every day. Maybe they should.

“ Nah I’m inside. I did earlier though. Wondered if you were watching them. “

“ Is this out thing now ? Watching the stars ? “

“ It could be. You know any cool star facts ? “

Callie is quiet for a moment before she speaks up again “ actually, I do ! “

“ You do, huh ? “

“ Yeah, well. It’s more of a story than a fact, really. You wanna hear about it ? “

“ Sure. “

“ Well, “ Callie starts, Angel is already hooked, “ I’m not sure if I have mentioned this before but my full name is Callista. And that name comes from the name Callisto. Callisto was a nymph from ancient greek mythologie. Zeus fell in love with her and they had a son. But you know Zeus, dude was already married to Hera. Hera got so angry she turned Callisto into a bear. She wandered the woods for years and years. Then one day Arcos, her son, went on a hunt and when she was him she got so excited that she ran up to him, completely forgetting that she’s a bear. Arcos was frightened, understandably, and drew his spear. Though Zeus saw all of this and wanted to prevent disaster. So he swooped down and lifted both of them up into the sky and turned them into constellations. That’s the ursa major constellation, the great bear. “

She’s a star. A constellation. Lighting up the sky when things seem dark and scary. It’s oddly fitting, he thinks. When that’s all she’s done to his life since she’s walked in.

“ You’re a star. “

“ I guess “ she giggles, only to be interrupted by a yawn forcing it’s way out.

“ And you’re tired. Go to bed, baby.”

“ Will I see you soon ? “

“ Sure. How about lunch tomorrow ? “

“ Sounds good. Come by the shop and we can decide on where to go. “

“ Alright. See you tomorrow, night babe. “

“ Night, Angel. “

When they hang up, he’s left in a comfortable silence. The party is still raging around him though Angel doesn’t really acknowledge it. All he can think of is her voice and her smile and the fact that she’s watching the same stars.

A little while later, Angel walks outside to get a drink. There’s a bunch of guys sitting around the table, getting tattooed by one of the club’s friends.

Ricky isn’t a good tattoo artist by any means but to most of the guys it’s not about the artistry. It’s the meaning behind the piece. It’s status. It’s sending a message.

And then a little bell chimes up in Angel’s head. It’s about meaning. About status. About wearing symbols of the things you like. The thinks you fear. The things you love.

“ Hey Ricky ? “ he calls out.

“ Yuh ? “

“ You any good at drawing stars ?

-OOO-

Callie Cordell goes to sleep with a smile on her face that night, longing for the sun to ride above to horizon and turn the night into day. Butterflies already swarming her tummy at the thought of seeing Angel again the next day.

Her mind is occupied with all things of happiness and joy. With thoughts of Angel’s eyes and the way he makes her blush.

All there is on her mind is him and the stars.

And not a single thought is given to the silver car parked just a few houses down the road. The one hiding in the shadows, sheltered between two houses and a big oak tree, engulfed by the night and untouched by the starlight.

- A note from Jo -

Hi guys, sorry no taglist this time. I’m assuming links are what’s caused my stuff not to show up in the tags. I will try and figure out a way to let people know when a new part is up though. The easiest way to stay updated is to follow my tumblr though, just sayin’ ;P

[whatadaze]

Top five sana remakes and why

1. og sana - sana will always have a special place in my heart. from her very first scene in season 1 she just seemed so badass and i wanted to be a little like her. when we finally got her season i was SO EXCITED bc ive never seen a teenage muslim girl as the main of a tv show. i’m not saying season 4 was perfect (coughcoughnoorawilliamstorylinewasunnecessarycoughcough) but it was suuuuuch a huge step for future skam remakes and when she finally wore different hijab styles + colors i was L I V I NG BECAUSE SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFULLLLLLJOJASDOFJWEFJ I love her

2. amira (skam spain) - i really love how soft amira is, and that isn’t me saying og sana or the rest of the remakes are all cold and hard. i mean that she is genuinely ~s o f t~. she doesn’t have that badass look that og + remakes have and it WORKS for her and her character. i like how they mixed things up and had cris + amira as childhood friends. i love how she’s taking on the role of a “jonas” (but like 9832409 times better) and she is so understanding, smart, intuitive, observant, and just there for her friends. if we got an amira season, i’ll probably scream and cry and possible squeal 

3. amira (druck) - first of all, she’s not only fucking gorgeous (tbh all of the sanas are) she is JUST SO COOOOOOL like i wanna be coooool like her!! and if i could pick a sana to be friends with irl it’d be amira from druck because i feel like our personalities are so similar. she is just super chill + i love the relationship she develops with matteo in s3 (which like honestly if we don’t get her season it’ll be fucking tragic) she is the mama bear that i need in my life ya know? 

4. zoya (skam austin) - i don’t watch skam austin anymore, but in season 1, i thought zoya was fucking hilarious and the stuff that comes out of her mouth sometimes made me cRACK UP. she also has that tough exterior but you can tell that she cares for all her friends + idk if it’s because i’m from the US but i related to her a lot (as a minority girl in the states), even though I am not muslim, i know how it feels to be the “different” girl in school 

5. imaan (skamnl) - okay so imaan being last DOES NOT MEAN that i like her the least. in fact, if i had to rate if based on just the character, she’d definitely be in my top 3. the reason why she is 5 is because we BARELY saw her in season 1 and i know that’s because of the actress’s personal schedule conflicts but it would’ve been really great to see more of her because when she WAS in the clips, she was AMAZING. i loved her yellow car, i loved that she took kickboxing classes, i loved how she talked about women empowerment, i loved how she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, and i loved how STRONG she was. i realllllly hope she comes back because i neeeed to know more about her and i know that if skamnl gave her a season, it would be AMAZING AND FULL OF ~POETIC CINEMA~ 

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go

[thnks-fr-yr-mmrs]

i’m so serious like i just wanna be headass over someone for a while i jut want cuddles and to be layed up watching movies i have no care what you look like i only care bout that heart im tryna take care of... like i love stretch marks honestly they’re so cute and i love every part of every one because girls are cutee im chill with dudes but honestly girls are the best and i neeeed a girlfriend so badly 

[jacodean]

my favorite out of context things from be more chill-

*spooky beeping*

my mac daddy game couldn’t be more limp

GAAAAAAAYYY

….i like gay people…

I have mad, gigantic feelings, red and frantic feelings, about most everything, like gun control

my little penis was depressed,,,, he was so lonely,,, poor guy

*loud screeching* ITS FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

hey, yeah, a squip! *starts riffing like mad* oh, a squip *goes to riff town*  hEEEEeeEY YEAH *buys property in riff town* NO LONGER A DRIP WHEN YA GOT IN YA GRIP, A SQUIP, A SQUIP, A SQUIIIIIP *HOLD FOR JESUS*

“hello?” “B L O O D” “son? “CLAWS”

“discomfort level may increase” “*SCREAMING*”

but i AM a masturbator 

now try picking out a shirt. thats a girls shirt.

speak like you don’t care about your own death

piiiIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I I I AY AY AY AY AYAYAYAYAYNK berrrrYYYYYYYYY

everything about me makes me wanna die (relatable)

EMINEM IS DEAD

WAIT THATS ILLEGAL

i got a condom!

i don’t have a machete but a loaf of bread will do

i might pass out but thats alright

LI-VER SPOTS! from halloween

yeah, I’ve had sex in pretty much every room in this house

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

*humming and crying at the same time*

“ill tell you because you’re my closest friend!” “no I’m not??” “yeah i know”

“did you see rich?” “no,,, i was crying”

*chorus joins together* ALWAYS BE AWARE OF AUTOCORRECT

beep bop boo beep bop boo beep bop boo beep

RAP BEEP BEEP BOOP

RE BOP BO BEEP BOP BO BEEP BOP BO

when you love somebody, you put your pants on for them!

wear those pants (somewhat reluctantly)

(rich, screaming from a distance) IIIII NEEEED MOUNTAIN DEW REEEEEEED

“great, drink this.” “wait-” “*SCREECHING*”

*EVERYONE IS SCREECHING*

[darke15]

Hello Anna! @itsarussian

Well of course Johnson is the favorite.. you’re there protecting and making deals with a dude called Lawrence…..okay…..

🤣 the lawrence hate gives me lifeeee

DONT you DARE get all threateny(?) and violent with Imara and the girls.. dont even think about them ! ! !

😈 hehehehehe

“I didn’t think you could do that.”

He raised a brow, “What?”

“Smile,” she said quietly, “It’s cute.”

BEING SO FLiRTY(?) WITH EACH OTHER AYAYYY

😏😏😏

oh nvm we sad now.. real sad.

sowwwy 😬

"What? Friends?” so freaking reletabke lol

rigghttttt? 🤣

AH CMON HE WAS GOING TO SAY YESSS CMOOOON fuck u thomas something

🤣🤣🤣

the girls speaking french is too cute, cuteness overload.

i love them so much 👑👑

DAMN, BOONE!! THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE that was hilarious please continue with making fun of shy!duke and the dirty jokes, thank you

hehehehehe 🤣

Ow, we’re fonna have a lil boone-ghost sad angst moment? Ouchouch

yesssss sooonnnn

AHAHAHAHAHAH ari being all passive aggressive, i KNOW ari and belov would be a choatic comic duo, i just can feel it and i neeeed it

they really would be tho

Thats zac isnt he? ZAC, AWW MY BABY poor guy is so focused on boons assignement and all socially awkward, my guyyy

i love him so much

Zac unintentionally being helped by Jack, Yes ZAC GO GET IT

yahhhhhsssss

(Wait.. why didnt i know that this new aftermath base was in the deep south? I did have to go on google maps and see where exactly NO was.. also there is a town 1h and 1 minute from New Orleans called Gonzalez, thats one hell of a coincidence lol )

it wasn't originally supposed to be, it was actually supposed to be in North Carolina but considering that turner grew up in New Orleans it made more sense for him to run for office in the state he grew up in.

And, omg? Is there really a town called gonzalez down there? that's hilarious

Also why being multilingual makes people so fucking hot? duke speaking and switching from english to hebrew ngl its attractive af

right? whenever boone goes French it's just so 😍

I was so invested in that final bit from “ari frowned” to “Palais de la Reine”, written so good i forgot i was reading and could see it in my head lol, so freaking good, scripted-tvseries/movie good AAAARGHHH im all hyped up

thank you so much!!!

also i kinda thought for a sec jack was gonna bang his head while trying to stand up lol sorry jack

I almost made him do it but decided that I already made him hurt his pretty face last episode so i'd be nice to him this one

Them actually engaging in small talk makes me smile, im so happy, thats progress babyyyy

yessssssss

Why Belov made me think of a nintendo ds game i had called “Giulia passion babysitter”..thats literally Belov and Zac AHAHAH sorry

🤣🤣🤣

WAIT SO HE ACTUALLY KNOW THE ANSWER cheeky xheeky Belov

lol he's a sneaky little shit

Ehm ehm hi Boonie 😳

hehhorrecting my self, ehm.. is Ari AND Jesse gonna sneak into the mission?

hehehehehehe 😏

-I thought my tablet was broken for a sec ..i scrolled past the post credit scene banner, but still could see some of the static thingies.. my heart stopped for a second jeez AHAHAHAH-

oohhh noo you scared me too I thought i might have forgotten to put the end credit scene

is that a fun party pill or a evil kind of party pill.. with these guys i’m not entirely sure 🧐

😏🥴😏

NOT THE ATOMIC BLONDE BAR SCENE OH GOD AAA

HIII BARDOT HIIIII

bonjourrrrrrrrr 😏

but also very worried for drugged Boone :/

😏😈😏

just screaming inmy pillow AAAAAAAA now i have that scene stuck in my braiiiinnnn

🥰🥰🥰 that scene do be hotttttt thooooo

Oh no,, i slipped and downloaded atomic blonde.. guess whos watching it for the 100th time? thank you darke

atomic blonde it one of my all time fave movies 🖤

I cannot wait but also kinda worried but also kinda turned on but also AAA but also i need to chill out .. damn DAAmn that was incredible just Wow

🖤 thank you so much Anna!

THE SOLDIER & THE SPY

SEASON 2 : EPISODE 5 — THE GIANT

┍━━━━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━━━━┑

“Hadar!” He snapped, waving his hands in front of Ari’s face to capture his attention, “You aren't even listening.”

“No, I am not.”

Thomas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, “You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?”

“Doing what?” Ari shrugged, with a half-hearted roll of his eyes, “I haven't done anything.”

“You threw a man out the window,” his team leader scoffed with a quick shake of his head.

“Men.” Ari corrected him, picking at his nails as he relaxed back in his seat, “Eight men.”

“And you're proud of it.” Thomas sighed, his jaw cocking to the side.

“Have you ever thrown eight men from a window?” He asked, “It's rather difficult.”

┕━━━━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━━━━┙

✪ | Battle Scarred : Aftermath | »Darke15

♜ THE SOLDIER & THE SPY

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[omgmissmillie-blog]

Hi I love you guys

You guys may or may not love me back but i love you so suck it. @hardcorewwetrash : LAURA!!! LAURA. YOU ARE LITERALLY MY BITCH GIRL YES. like I was transitioning from being constantly a gaming addict to limiting my time on the internet and people like you bring me right back with your amazing personality like you probably think im annoying but i get soooo overjoyed when you're on because i have someone to fangirl with. BE MY BEST FRANNNND @screamersdontdance SHANNONNNN HI CUTIE I owe you alot of facts about me because i've been dodging them im sorry i love you. You are the next person i get extremely overjoyed to see you are just as hyped as laura and i love it tbh you are the cutest thing on earth it kills me. Like ahhhhh YOU ALSO BE MY BESSTT frannnd. @justtookawaii okay so we don't talk as much BUT GIRLLL IF WE DID I KNOW WE'D HAVE A HELLA OF A CONVO. You understand my problems with hair lmao you understand my problem with braun all thanks to laura's silly ass and honestly you're really pretty. @wwelover22 S A R A H. you are an amazing writer i swear this and Girl i still think about that finn smut school and daddy's home with randy holy shit its stuck to me . the outfit you got for your niece is the cutest and i know you're gonna be an amazing auntie gl bb @wweslut Hannah and Morgan you guys are the sweetest and nicest! i haven't seen you guys in a bit but i hope that everything is going alright!! @daintymissdevitt AYY ok you are like my bullet club boo i enjoy when we talk you are the nicest person And im glad i met you like when i was sitting there lurking and i was like half dead you came straight into my inbox like WHATTUP LMAO @50shadesofadamcolebaybay okAY i mean we don't talk as much but you have been pretty chill and nice when i did speak to you and im really happy you assisted me for my fic i hope we indeed do talk soon btw your fic is literally killing it and me so pls... Gimme MORE FEELS PLS @wrasslesmut ALEX I LOVE YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NAWT. The DMS HAVE BEEN POPPIN LATELY AND I LOVE YOU . IM BURNING TO READ THESE UPCOMING FICS HEH. And also im super super excited to participate in the valentine's event! @lavitabella87 girlllllll your blog in general is what makes me happy i'll be lying in bed and i like highkey agree with almost all your posts and yOUR FIC I MUST BE TAGGED IN IT! I LOVE IT I NEEEED MORE. Im glad to have met you all and i know i may or may not be missing some people but these are the ones I do think about and make me super happy to talk to. I lOVE YOU GUISE pls love me

[apsbicepstraining]

17 Terrifying Humans Everyone Who Starts To The Gym Has Met At Least Formerly

1. That nosy motherfucker who obsessively peeks at your treadmill quicken. Hope you are interested in a baller passing at precisely. 1mph faster than me, bro!

2. Grunters/ droppers . AKA those hardos who omit the weirdest noises during their workouts before violently shedding their weights on the floor. If you can heave double your bodyweight and only look like youre going to shit yourself, you are able to lieu the weight on the storey, sir. 3. Alternately, busters who are clearly promoting more than they are unable manage . Just chill, bro. You have awful pattern and you look like your stomach is about to fall out of your butt. No need to insist on* PUSHING THRU .* Youre in a lot of pain. 4. Guys who apparently simply work out to watch girls elongate/ do squattings . Like buster I Experience you. 5. Parties with zero view for sweating everywhere and not cleaning that shit up . Sweaty mofos who dont wipe down their machines literally hurt my soul. 6. Guys who switch the gym into their own party, IRL Tinder . You necessitate a smudge, cutie? Holy shit……..

7. Aggressive personal managers who try to draft you as a patron. Oh, COULD you really facilitate me with my upper arms, dude? GTFO. Im here to run for exactly 15 minutes, pull, and leaping. Make ME LIVE.

8. Hardo personal coaches who successfully convince you to do a discussion with them and proceed to push you so hard that you literally cant stroll the next day . They usually motivate you with something like, You Necessity this. You Necessary to alter your body, and there is a requirement do it NOW. Omg omg no I dont, dude. Youre frightening the shit out of me. Pls stop. 9. AND certainly that one buster who hes a personal trainer . Hes likely read every bodybuilding.com section on HIIT and can be seen walking around the heaviness arena aggressively shaking his BCAAs.

10. People who think theyre fucking Thich Nhat Hanh for practising yoga.

11. Exercise admirers who Enjoy to regale you with every fantastically boring item of their #fitfam life-style. Literally no attends . .

12. Guys who dress psyche to toe in intense athletic apparel from their high school football team . commits a shit, bro. Nobody.

13. That antsy asshole who hops on your machine when youre clearly in the middle of a decide and about to use it again. Bitch CALM DOWN.

14. People who do intense speaking/ schoolwork while flowing/ biking/ ellipticaling . Like pls. Dont be hero.

15. That one space-filler who never seems to work out as much as they hang out with beings and aggressively clog up the field. Shit, wait I am such person or persons. Oops.

16. People who* NEEEED* to go to the gym . Like since when did working out become a biological, though? You know what actually is? Eating.

17. All of the gym rats. All of them . You, me all of us. Everybody at the gym is

The post 17 Terrifying Humans Everyone Who Starts To The Gym Has Met At Least Formerly appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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[geenalovesthelittlethings]

I already sent in a blurb request, but I really want to read more about Rosie! After reading the one you wrote last night, I neeeed to read more of that little girl. She sounds so sweet. :)))

Aww! I know, Rosie is such a little peach! Right from the very start. She’s definitely their most chilled out and easy baby. Maybe that’s because she spent nine months hearing the chaos of the house and her brothers and sister. She’s ready for anything. xx.

[apsbicepstraining]

17 Terrifying Humans Everyone Who Starts To The Gym Has Met At Least Formerly

1. That nosy motherfucker who obsessively peeks at your treadmill quicken. Hope you are interested in a baller passing at precisely. 1mph faster than me, bro!

2. Grunters/ droppers . AKA those hardos who omit the weirdest noises during their workouts before violently shedding their weights on the floor. If you can heave double your bodyweight and only look like youre going to shit yourself, you are able to lieu the weight on the storey, sir. 3. Alternately, busters who are clearly promoting more than they are unable manage . Just chill, bro. You have awful pattern and you look like your stomach is about to fall out of your butt. No need to insist on* PUSHING THRU .* Youre in a lot of pain. 4. Guys who apparently simply work out to watch girls elongate/ do squattings . Like buster I Experience you. 5. Parties with zero view for sweating everywhere and not cleaning that shit up . Sweaty mofos who dont wipe down their machines literally hurt my soul. 6. Guys who switch the gym into their own party, IRL Tinder . You necessitate a smudge, cutie? Holy shit……..

7. Aggressive personal managers who try to draft you as a patron. Oh, COULD you really facilitate me with my upper arms, dude? GTFO. Im here to run for exactly 15 minutes, pull, and leaping. Make ME LIVE.

8. Hardo personal coaches who successfully convince you to do a discussion with them and proceed to push you so hard that you literally cant stroll the next day . They usually motivate you with something like, You Necessity this. You Necessary to alter your body, and there is a requirement do it NOW. Omg omg no I dont, dude. Youre frightening the shit out of me. Pls stop. 9. AND certainly that one buster who hes a personal trainer . Hes likely read every bodybuilding.com section on HIIT and can be seen walking around the heaviness arena aggressively shaking his BCAAs.

10. People who think theyre fucking Thich Nhat Hanh for practising yoga.

11. Exercise admirers who Enjoy to regale you with every fantastically boring item of their #fitfam life-style. Literally no attends . .

12. Guys who dress psyche to toe in intense athletic apparel from their high school football team . commits a shit, bro. Nobody.

13. That antsy asshole who hops on your machine when youre clearly in the middle of a decide and about to use it again. Bitch CALM DOWN.

14. People who do intense speaking/ schoolwork while flowing/ biking/ ellipticaling . Like pls. Dont be hero.

15. That one space-filler who never seems to work out as much as they hang out with beings and aggressively clog up the field. Shit, wait I am such person or persons. Oops.

16. People who* NEEEED* to go to the gym . Like since when did working out become a biological, though? You know what actually is? Eating.

17. All of the gym rats. All of them . You, me all of us. Everybody at the gym is

The post 17 Terrifying Humans Everyone Who Starts To The Gym Has Met At Least Formerly appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rMdYur via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

17 Terrifying Humans Everyone Who Starts To The Gym Has Met At Least Formerly

1. That nosy motherfucker who obsessively peeks at your treadmill quicken. Hope you are interested in a baller passing at precisely. 1mph faster than me, bro!

2. Grunters/ droppers . AKA those hardos who omit the weirdest noises during their workouts before violently shedding their weights on the floor. If you can heave double your bodyweight and only look like youre going to shit yourself, you are able to lieu the weight on the storey, sir. 3. Alternately, busters who are clearly promoting more than they are unable manage . Just chill, bro. You have awful pattern and you look like your stomach is about to fall out of your butt. No need to insist on* PUSHING THRU .* Youre in a lot of pain. 4. Guys who apparently simply work out to watch girls elongate/ do squattings . Like buster I Experience you. 5. Parties with zero view for sweating everywhere and not cleaning that shit up . Sweaty mofos who dont wipe down their machines literally hurt my soul. 6. Guys who switch the gym into their own party, IRL Tinder . You necessitate a smudge, cutie? Holy shit……..

7. Aggressive personal managers who try to draft you as a patron. Oh, COULD you really facilitate me with my upper arms, dude? GTFO. Im here to run for exactly 15 minutes, pull, and leaping. Make ME LIVE.

8. Hardo personal coaches who successfully convince you to do a discussion with them and proceed to push you so hard that you literally cant stroll the next day . They usually motivate you with something like, You Necessity this. You Necessary to alter your body, and there is a requirement do it NOW. Omg omg no I dont, dude. Youre frightening the shit out of me. Pls stop. 9. AND certainly that one buster who hes a personal trainer . Hes likely read every bodybuilding.com section on HIIT and can be seen walking around the heaviness arena aggressively shaking his BCAAs.

10. People who think theyre fucking Thich Nhat Hanh for practising yoga.

11. Exercise admirers who Enjoy to regale you with every fantastically boring item of their #fitfam life-style. Literally no attends . .

12. Guys who dress psyche to toe in intense athletic apparel from their high school football team . commits a shit, bro. Nobody.

13. That antsy asshole who hops on your machine when youre clearly in the middle of a decide and about to use it again. Bitch CALM DOWN.

14. People who do intense speaking/ schoolwork while flowing/ biking/ ellipticaling . Like pls. Dont be hero.

15. That one space-filler who never seems to work out as much as they hang out with beings and aggressively clog up the field. Shit, wait I am such person or persons. Oops.

16. People who* NEEEED* to go to the gym . Like since when did working out become a biological, though? You know what actually is? Eating.

17. All of the gym rats. All of them . You, me all of us. Everybody at the gym is

The post 17 Terrifying Humans Everyone Who Starts To The Gym Has Met At Least Formerly appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2rMdYur via IFTTT