#girl the waitlist went out like. over a month ago

[supercantaloupe]

i've lost count of how many emails i've sent out at this point saying in no uncertain terms "you have to be on the waitlist and meet with an advisor or grad fellow to get permission to enroll in honors theology classes" and yet every day people email me or walk into the office like "hi can i take honors theology. the website won't let me enroll"

[arabellaflynn]

Brief life update: Landlord problem sorted (for now, at least). My support system is awesome. I believe you have all been contacted about repayment, but if I missed anybody, let me know.

I have not bothered to tell my roommates this. I hope they are experiencing unbearable amounts of stress. The Useless Narcissist did eventually cough up his share, but the (Probably Soon-To-Be-Ex-)Wife has given me nothing yet. They can stew.

One of the NPOs I work with threw a birthday party for a friend of a board member back in February. I ran it for them, as I often do. I'm good at being an attractive, friendly person who knows where all the extra chairs are. 

I rather like running these parties. They're full of interesting people that I will almost definitely never see again, so it doesn't much matter what I say to them. The birthday girl was 80, and a semi-retired "spiritual counselor" -- apparently, she was where the priests and rabbis and imams went when they needed to talk through their problems. She described herself as "spiritual krill", which amused me greatly. A bunch of her kids were there, and a grandson who was probably on the spectrum and could not stop talking about airplanes, and a musical theater actor from Manhattan who complained that Cambridge was not drinking hard enough at 2 pm on a Sunday, and a variety of other artists that told as many weird stories as there are feathers on an Amazonian parrot. Her Moroccan cleaning lady made a secondhand appearance by sending a half-sheet cake topped with blue frosting and chocolate-covered strawberries. They told me I should be eating their cake and drinking their wine with them, so I did.

One of the nice things about working in the arts is that if you can still do your job well with a glass of wine in your hand, nobody cares.

The board member who threw the party apparently thought I was great fun, because he got the coordinator to give him my email address so he could ask me where to send a thank you card. Which card, when it arrived, had a $100 check in it. Welp. I was paid to run the party in the first place, mind, but being an attractive friendly person who knows where the chairs are only gets you about $18-20 an hour. 

I've never been told I can't take tips, but I've never asked either -- this one was the biggest I've gotten, but it's not the first. One of the more memorable ones was when I was working box office for a show where a gaggle of kids had come up from New York to perform with Boston locals. One set of parents had failed to buy their tickets before driving up from NYC, and the show sold out. The ticketing software didn't have any way to start a waitlist for shows with late seating, but there are always people who don't turn up, and even if by some miracle everyone made it (they didn't) that theater had bench seating and I was not paid enough to care if they were two people over fire code, so I told the parents to come back in 45 minutes, and told the manager that one couple had to duck out but would be back at intermission. I had no way to sell them a ticket and was fully prepared to sneak them in for free, but the wife did everything short of stomp her husband's foot and hiss, "honey, bribe the usher." He gave me a $20.

The bigger news, though, is a gig I've landed for mid-May. I got an email a couple months ago from one of the orgs I do livestreaming for asking if I could run sound for one of their shows. They had correctly guessed that I knew how to do this, but only because they don't understand the difference between running digital sound for a webinar/class and operating the 32-track analog behemoth they have up in their tech booth -- none of them are in any way technical, that's why they call me. I didn't expect a lot of help from the venue, but I ended up running the pre-show music off my phone, and the board off a random laptop using VLC, which is, uh... let's go with, not industry standard. 

I thought my performance was adequate. Like, the show did happen, more or less as planned. The lighting designer apparently thought I did so well she specifically requested that I run sound for the next, much bigger show she was lighting at that venue. I am, apparently, "the best". I have learned to just say thank you and shut up when people say these things, because it's rude to argue with others over their own subjective opinions, but if that was "the best" I really have to wonder, what kind of unrepentant fuckups had she been saddled with before I came along? 

Anyway, the much bigger show thought I was a perfectly reasonable choice(!!?!?!?!!?!), so I'm now signed on for that. I refuse to half-ass this anymore; if they're going to pay me sound tech rates, I'm actually going to be a sound tech, and do this correctly. Industry standard for this stuff is a piece of software called QLab, which is only available for Mac, and has rental licenses for a totally reasonable $5/day. I am not okay running $1500 of show off a computer that dies if you trip over the power cord, so the battle-scarred MacBook I inherited from a previous roommate has gone back to Apple for a spa weekend and a battery replacement, a surprise expense which I am only able to cover because the same superhero support network has indicated they do not need their loan money back in a hurry. So thank you for that as well! I have about a month to teach myself how to work QLab for real.

I've spent Easter feeding junk food to rats and trying to wrap my brain around the idea that someone thinks it's "totally reasonable" to pay me $50/hr to sit up in the booth and periodically click a large button marked GO. I have to keep reminding myself that all the tech stuff only seems straightforward to me because I have been mucking around with it since I was ten. I had a look at the service manual for the mixer before I tried working it the first time, and at one point it literally says, "This will make more sense if you look at the block diagram," so I suspect a large portion of that hourly rate is there just because this is terrifyingly complicated to other people.

[For the uninitiated, a block diagram is a simplified line drawing depicting the components and connections of an electrical circuit. For something like the mixing board I was dealing with, it's usually close to, but not identical to, the actual schematics. My father has designed custom circuit boards for a living since before I was born, so I'm well familiar with the things. But if you're not I suppose they look a bit like a Mondrian take on the Nazca lines. I probably couldn't troubleshoot a broken mixing deck from the diagram in the back of the manual, but I can follow it well enough to see where all the inputs and outputs are going.]

Still no grant money, not that I expected it to land on Easter. The waiting is the worst. A lot of my problem right now is that I need to raise my freelance rates for a lot of things, but until I get that cushion in place I can't risk losing any of the clients I currently have. Some money is better than no money, but some money is not necessarily enough money, which is the fundamental problem.

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[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One:  Storybrooke, Maine

Chapter 8:  Unexpecting

It was 2000. He'd owned the shop now for so long he couldn't remember how long he'd been doing this same routine. Each morning he woke up, stretched, and got into the shower. He dressed in a suit, adding layer after layer to make any who felt the need to deal with him feel underdressed. That was a trick he'd learned as a lawyer. In the morning, he read the newspaper, cooked himself some breakfast, just a piece of toast today, with jam on the side. He drove to town and parked his car in the lot or on the street. He didn't live far from work, but he wasn't about to walk there. With his leg, he'd never manage, and besides, walking might give the impression he cared about something. He walked down the street every morning. Sometimes people lifted their eyes to him in acknowledgment. He never returned the favor. He barely paid any attention to Marco on the ladder as he walked swiftly by him.

As he unlocked the door to his shop, he glanced at the abandoned library on the corner across from him. It always made him feel uneasy, probably because it was becoming an eyesore. One of these days, he would file a complaint with Regina about that, but today there was too much to do.

Inside the shop, he opened the blinds and took a deep breath of the musty smell that came with age. It still felt like home, probably more like home than his pink house, which he still needed to get painted. He turned the sign behind him to "open" in case someone felt like coming in to make a deal but then escaped to the back room just like always. It was his favorite place in his shop. The spinning wheel he'd first seen when he bought the place was back here, along with a fold-away cot for nights he got carried away and just decided to sleep there. There were two tables crowded into the back that he could use to polish or repair or clean or whatever he needed to do. On the table, there was usually something old he'd set out the day before, waiting for him to appraise or repair or clean, but today his task was a bit different. He was in the pawnshop, as he usually was, but today he wasn't playing the role of a pawnbroker, not unless someone came in to buy something. No, today he was wearing the hat of "lawyer." Yesterday, he'd received a call from the grandfather of the baby Ashley Boyd was carrying. He'd asked him how far along he was in the process of getting the child placed.

He knew the girl wasn't thrilled with the idea of adoption. He knew that she'd signed the papers mostly out of pressure from the baby's grandfather and her own step-mother, but a deal was a deal; and where the law was concerned a signature was legally binding. Besides, knowing the history Miss Boyle shared with her step-family, the only family she had left in this world, and the eagerness in the grandfather's voice to see the child gone, giving the infant away when it was born was really going to be the best thing for all parties included, at least as far as he was concerned.

But he'd had the disappointing job of telling the grandfather yesterday that so far, no one had called to adopt. He had made the proper calls what felt like eons ago when the girl must have only just found out she was pregnant, he'd filled out all the paperwork, faxed the appropriate individuals, and yet…nothing. And that was a problem. The poor girl looked as though she might go into labor any day now, and he'd much rather the babe had a place to go to immediately rather than wait in the hell of foster care. In truth, he'd decided long ago it would be best to call his contacts to see if he could speed things along, but whenever he had the idea, something always seemed to come up that prevented him from doing the job. But not today.

Today the first thing he did was pull the adoption papers out of his safe. Today the first thing on his "to do" list was to study up on the details again to make informed calls. Today he was going to make those calls no matter what.

It was just another day in Storybrooke-

And it seemed the universe did not want him to make those calls.

It was mid-morning, he was looking over the adoption contract and refamiliarizing himself with the important details when the bell on his shop door let him know someone had arrived and he looked up to find none other than Regina Mills, known to him as Madam Mayor striding toward him. She was young, but she'd been the Mayor here as long as he could remember. Their relationship was a complex one. As the owner of the land she ran, he had a certain amount of power in the town that she was rather jealous of. Much of their contract said that she needed to come to him to approve anything that she wanted to present for a vote. It was his land, and he got the first say. He supposed that made him the most powerful man in town despite her election. They were cordial when they had to be, but there was always tension underneath their politically motivated politeness.

"I need a child, Gold, and I need your help."

He snorted. That was not the kind of tension he'd sensed between them. But it was one hell of a request to start his day with. If he had friends, it would've made quite the story.

"Well, I'm flattered but uninterested."

"Not like that. I spent all morning talking to adoption agencies. The waitlists are over two years long. But you, Gold, you know how to cut through red tape. And if anyone can work the system and find me a baby, it's you."

Regina…a mother. And on the same day he'd meant to call the agencies? Was he hearing her right?

"You wish to adopt?"

"Well, don't look so surprised."

"Oh, I'm not!" he insisted, looking her over. He'd known Regina for years, and he knew the way she thought and the way she worked. He knew that over the years of her being the Mayor, she'd been restless. She had her sheriff, but he wasn't the settling down type. He was a lone wolf. Men like him liked a good night of romping then the ability to return to the cave they called home and have a beer in silence. That was fine, he wasn't far off from one of those men, but Regina was. She needed something to settle her and yet something she could rule over. Marriage wouldn't suit her, but parenthood might. For the child however…he already felt sorry for whoever he found. "I'm sure you'll make a...well, a mother of some sort."

"Can you help me?"

"Of course I can, but a word of caution," he warned. If Regina wanted a child, he had no doubt he could procure one for her in less than two years. Hell, he could do it in less than a month if Ashley went into labor soon. But he did feel sorry for the child who would call her "mother," especially given his own parent's history. While it would be fun to watch Regina, he wanted no guilt in the situation that would follow. "Ask yourself if this is something you're ready for."

"It's something I need."

That was what he was afraid of. "Well, that may not be the same thing. I'll get you a child."

Regina sighed and turned on her heel, prepared to leave. Just like the way his father had left before he'd never seen him again.

"But whether or not that's helping you remains to be seen," he called after her.

Regina turned, the vein in her head throbbing, her nostrils flaring. She was ready to put this aside. He was not.

"When you become a parent, you must put your child first. No matter what."

"Find me a child, and I'll show you I can," she snapped at him.

"As you wish." He nodded, but her tone had already told him all he needed to know about the situation. Still, he'd warned her. The guilt would not be his, and he had no doubt that at least the child, whoever he or she was, would be well cared for. It was a shame the grandparents wanted a closed adoption for Ashley's baby and the infant to be sent out of state…otherwise, it might have been the answer to his prayers, if he believed in such a thing.

"Oh, and Madam Mayor, he called out before she could leave the shop. I hope you won't be using taxpayer dollars to pay for my services. Cutting through all that 'red tape' can be rather pricy. You get what you pay for with me, and nothing is ever free."

She rolled her eyes. "No one knows better than me, Mr. Gold, trust me. So why don't you let me worry about taxpayer dollars…you have work to do."

[nazariolahela]

Something Domestic: Chapter 3

A/N: Hey y'all! This is a new TRR AU I’ve been working on. This story is told in first-person narrative, from Riley’s (MC) POV. There will likely be smidges of canon in this, but not too much. Thanks for reading, and please leave feedback, and/or if you would like to be tagged.

Catch up here

Series Tags: @burnsoslow​ @aworldoffandoms​ @dcbbw​ @ladyangel70​ @texaskitten30​ @sunandlemons​ @jlynn12273​ @indiacater​ @jared2612​ @rainbowsinthestorm​ @drakesensworld​ @badchoicesposts​

Synopsis: When Riley Brooks takes a new job as a nanny for the affluent Rhys family in New York’s Upper East Side, she assumes she’s just going to care for the children of the couple who hired her. But instead of just school pick-ups and afternoon snacks, she also finds herself spending time with Liam, the handsome divorced dad. Can Riley control her feelings for Liam while still performing the job she was hired for?

All characters are the property of Pixelberry Studios. Thanks for allowing me to borrow them.

Chapter Summary: Riley and Hana discuss the new changes in their lives.

As the cab pulls up outside of Nomade, I spot Hana leaning up against the side of the building. She’s dressed in black leggings and a denim jacket over a purple A-Line tunic. Her brown hair is twisted in a side braid that rests on her left shoulder. Tendrils fall across her face as she taps on her phone screen. Looking at the door to the restaurant, I notice there’s no line. That’s good for a Friday afternoon, considering people line up around the block to eat here.

Hana and I prefer the lunch menu because it’s cheaper and less crowded. The one time we came here for dinner, we had to wait two and a half hours for a table, and our tab was almost $300. I tip the driver and exit the cab, bounding across the sidewalk to my roommate and best friend. She giggles as she sees me and scoops me into a bone-crushing hug. 

“Hey, girl! You���ll never guess who just emailed me!”

“Who?” I ask. Her parents Xinghai and Lorelai are well-known in the New York social scene, so it could literally be anyone.

“I’ll tell you when we get inside,” she says and links her arm through mine as we make our way into the restaurant. Typical Hana. Always keeping people in suspense. When we reach the host station, her phone buzzes. She quickly pulls it out of her purse and glances at it, rolls her eyes, then shoves it back in her purse.

“What was that all about?” I eye her.

She sighs. “Oh, just some weirdo my parents are trying to set me up with. Neville Vancoeur or something,” she waves her hand dismissively. “My mother gave me her famous ‘When are you going to settle down, Hana? You’re not getting any younger and I want grandchildren,’ spiel last week, so now they’re aggressively playing matchmaker.”

Hana and I met freshman year at NYU Steinhardt. With both of us being education majors, we ended up having a lot of classes together and spent way too many late nights cramming during our study sessions in the library. After graduation, we both realized rent in this city is impossible to afford if you’re not a Rockefeller, so we rented an apartment together and have been roomies ever since. Hana got a job student-teaching music at Stormholt Middle School, and she also gives piano lessons one Saturday a month to a rich family in the city.

Her parents are something else. I’ve only met them once, but they make me glad I don’t have much of a relationship with mine. They feel she’s better suited to be a wife and a mother than an educator. It makes me angry for her because she’s so much more than that. She doesn’t need to marry some stuffy guy who probably skated his way through business school on daddy’s money and pop out his crotch goblins to do something meaningful with her life. She’s also mentioned to me many times that she’s into girls, so all this effort to set her up with some preppy trust-fund douche from East Hampton is a waste. Jokes on you Mom and Dad Lee.

I giggle as the hostess arrives from seating another customer. “Good afternoon, ladies. Table for two?”

We answer and she grabs two menus before motioning for us to follow her. When we arrive at our table, she informs us our server will be with us shortly and walks away. 

“Okay, so tell me who emailed you,” I say to her as I unroll my napkin and place it in my lap. She looks up at me, her eyes beaming. 

“Do you remember that benefit dinner we went to a few months ago? You know, the one for New York educators, where we drank our weight in Lemon Drop martinis?”

I smirk recalling that evening. The bits and pieces I remember, Hana lost one of her shoes and spent the better part of the evening showing everyone on the dancefloor the “proper way” to perform a pirouette.

“Well, I do remember you taking over the dance floor and me going home with that cute bartender. What was his name again? Daniel?”

“Oh my god!” she replies, laughing and slapping my forearm. “I can’t believe you don’t remember his name!”

We giggle as our server approaches our table to take our drink orders. I order a glass of white wine and Hana orders a Sangria. When the server leaves, we resume our conversation.

“So anyway,” she continues, “that night, I was talking to one of the ladies who works in the music department at Valtoria High School, and apparently there were rumors their music teacher was planning to retire. So, after we exchanged information, she passed it along to the school board, and they just emailed me asking me if I was interested in a job!”

My eyebrows shoot up to my forehead. “And?”

“And...I think I’m going to take it!”

I jump up from my seat and move around the table to wrap her in a hug. “Oh my God, Hana! That’s amazing!”  She laughs as I give her a congratulatory squeeze. Hana has been trying to get a position with Valtoria High since we graduated. It has one of the top music programs in the city, and the waitlist is insanely long. Most of the teachers there have tenure, so not many positions open up unless someone quits, retires, or dies. Hana securing a position on the teaching staff will not only get her parents off her back but also open up so many doors for her. Her dream is to eventually start her own music school where she can teach music to kids of all social and economic statuses. 

We return to our seats as our drinks arrive and the waitress takes our lunch order. After she leaves, Hana turns to me. “So, enough about me. Tell me about the new nanny job.”

I smile. “The interview went really well. I met the family I’ll be working for. They seem really nice and I’m excited to get the opportunity to work with them. My first day with them is Monday. The pay is pretty great, plus, the children seem very well-behaved. Nothing like the last family I worked for. The mother comes off a bit cold, but she seems pretty easy to work for. At least I don’t have to worry about her micromanaging everything I do.”

“Uh-huh. And what about the father?” 

I whip out my phone and google “Liam Rhys” to show her a picture of him. After scrolling past links to his company and click-baity articles from the local tabloids, I pull up a photo of him and his older brother from a few years ago. I hand the phone to her. She glances at it, her eyes wide.

“Oh wow...Riley… That’s Liam Rhys,” she says, warily.

“Yeah. What about it?”

She shakes her head and hands the phone back to me. “Nothing, it’s just his family is very well known throughout the city, as well as in the tabloids. Not to mention, he’s extremely attractive, so you need to be careful.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “What are you trying to say, Hana?”

Her face turns serious. “You’re a wonderful person, Riley. I read those tabloids, and I see what they say about the nannies of public figures like him. I don’t want your name dragged through the mud because you were photographed staring too hard at Liam.”

“It will be fine, Hana. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I remember what happened with Ben Affleck’s nanny. And Gavin Rossdale’s nanny. And Jude Law’s nanny”

“Those men were also sleeping with their nannies while they were still married. Even if it gets that far, he’s getting divorced. We wouldn’t be doing anything wrong.”

“The public won’t see it that way. They’ll blame you for the split. Just be careful.”

I nod, taking her words seriously. Our waitress returns with our meals and we dig in. We spend the rest of the meal gossiping about our friends from college; who’s working where, who’s getting married, who got arrested, and so forth. After the check arrives, we pay our tabs and gather our things to head out. As we exited the restaurant, Hana turns to me and grabs my arm turning my body toward hers.

“Hey. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here if you need anything. Please don’t forget that.” 

I smiled and wrap her in a hug. “I know. Don’t think that I won’t take your words to heart. I know what I’m getting myself into with the Rhys family, and I appreciate you looking out for me.”

“Of course, that’s what besties do.” Her phone chimes inside her purse. She releases me and reaches into her purse to retrieve it. She frowns then slides it back into her purse. “I’d ask you if you wanted to head over to The Double Tappe for a drink, but my mom wants me to come over. I’ll see you back at the apartment?”

“You bet. I think I’m going to head over to the Northbridge Mall and buy some new outfits for my new job.”

She laughs and wraps me up in another hug. “‘Kay. Call me later,” she says before turning and walking down the sidewalk. I wave goodbye and take off in the opposite direction. As I stroll down the street, I walk past a magazine stand. There on the rack is the latest issue of Trend the receptionist was reading earlier. I pull a $5 from my purse, and set it on the counter, before picking up a copy of the magazine. After thanking the cashier, I slip the magazine in my bag and continue walking until I reach the bus stop on the corner. When the bus arrives, I step on, flash my Transit Pass, and take a seat near the front. I settle in and pull the magazine out to read up on my new employers.  

The article shows pictures of Liam, Madeleine, and the kids at the park. The kids look adorable playing with their father and each other. Madeleine is sitting on a bench, her nose in her phone, wearing her usual resting bitch face. I swear, that woman never smiles. Then, there’s Liam. The butterflies in my stomach start fluttering at the sight of him playing with his children. The cutlines on the photos mention how happy he looks to be spending the day away from work with his kids, but I don’t need to read it. I can see it in his face. 

Despite his notoriety here in New York, he’s still a man that is devoted to his family. It’s a shame his soon-to-be ex-wife, couldn’t see that. Stop it, Riley. Their relationship is none of your business. But it is, though. Now that I’m working for their family, their business is my business. Which means I have to keep my mouth shut about what happens behind closed doors. I’d hate to lose my job because I told someone something, who told someone else, who leaked it to the press.

I read on and catch myself staring at the pictures of him. It’s unfair how good looking he is. The fact that he is a doting dad makes him that much sexier. My cheeks flush as I imagine sitting at the park with him and the children. In my fantasy, I’m sitting on a picnic blanket, a wicker basket full of snacks and drinks, while he chases Philip and Charlotte around the grass. After they tire themselves out, they wander over and I pass out juice boxes and crackers. Liam comes up behind them, smiling. When he reaches me, he kneels on the blanket, takes me in his arms, and presses the most sensual kiss to my lips. 

The squealing of the bus’s breaks rips me from my little daydream and I shove the magazine in my purse. Nope. Not going there. I exhale loudly and stare out the window as the bus continues down the street. Oh man, I’m in big trouble.

[transfemininomenon]

Hey, i'm actually a "truscum" i found out recently, but im a little confused on the whole ordeal. Im not even sure if i actually am truscum or not- because some posts seem to tie up with me being one but others dont, but i saw you were really against them, so i wanted to ask if you're okay with a friendly calm conversation about it? I am very confused and i just want to learn a bit more or find out if i'm wrong about the whole ordeal. Are you open to it?

i'll be honest im not sure how friendly i can be with this kind of conversation because i really truly genuinely, and i don't use this word lightly, Hate truscum and its hard for me to really be civil about the discussion. but for the sake of this and me giving you a lot of benefit of the doubt that this ask is in good faith i'll explain why i do not like the entire truscum ideology

1. i guess i'll start off with the Big One - the claim that dysphoria is Required to be trans. i'll preface this by saying that i am someone who has experienced, and currently Experiences in wildly different degrees depending on what is happening in my life, dysphoria throughout my entire life. i had my entire teenage and young adult years stolen from me by it. i won't get into details about it because that is a Very Very Personal subject for me, but needless to say dysphoria is something that was a very prevalent part of my life.

anyway. the notion that dysphoria is a Trans Requirement™ is something that i hugely disagree with. i used to think that me figuring out i was a trans woman was because i experienced dysphoria, but frankly the opposite is true. dysphoria is what made me refuse to believe i was a woman or could ever be one. it made me believe i was a man and that was all i would ever be. it wasn't until i really started experimenting with my gender and unpacking a lot of stuff i felt about myself that i started to finally realize the woman i was. i first started trying our she/her pronouns nearing four years now, and started using the name Alice a few months after that. being referred to as a woman & experimenting with different feminine things gave me such incredible feelings of euphoria that i still experience to this day whenever i discover something new about my identity.

and that is something ive heard from SO many other trans people i know. or different things too - i know people who are completely fine with their bodies, just certain words and terms never felt Right to them. because the thing with dysphoria is that it, like all things gender related, is a product of society. dysphoria only exists because transphobia exists - people are told that there are these two rigid things that you are and HERE is what makes you one of those things, and those things are drilled into you literally since birth. everything from colors to jobs to hobbies to cars to entertainment to clothing to Literally Everything is gendered, and when that happens then of fucking course there are gonna be people who don't fall in line with that, and when it's so instilled into people and seen as such societal norms of COURSE people are going to have trouble with that.

and that's not even getting into the subject of gender on a biological level. the fact of the matter is that the two sex system Isn't True and that biological sex is very complicated. intersex people exist, people with all kinds of different chromosomes exist, people of certain body types that have higher levels of different hormones exist, SO much goes into that subject that frankly narrowing it down to two things just doesn't Work

and that's the real problem at the end of the day. dysphoria only exists because of a fucked up gender binary that clashes with both biology and sociology. people are complicated on both a biological and personal level and having set binaries for things is bound to cause confusion & doubt.

like, people's identities are SUCH personal things in so many different ways. there isn't any Right Way™ to be trans. i know trans women with beards, trans women who have no interest in starting hrt, trans men who wear dresses and makeup, non-binary people who make no effort to be androgynous, i know SO many different identities and different people. because the fact is that there's no right way to be trans because nothing is inherently gendered including people's very bodies. people are themselves and there is no Right way to be themselves.

that's on top of the lack of education when it comes to the subject of gender. such a huge part too of me figuring out i was trans was literally learning that it was even a fucking option. i genuinely didn't know just Being A Girl was an option. reading up on gender stuff and researching the different idea of transitioning was intrinsic in my figuring out who i was because oh shit turns out there are people like me and that is Okay.

like, dysphoria literally could've been a non-issue for me. i could've lived in a world where i could just Exist and enjoy whatever i wanted without it being weird. i could've decided so much sooner that i wasn't happy with the way my body was growing and not spent my entire teen years being so confused why i was so sad seeing my girl peers. i could have from the start just gotten to be a girl and never have had dysphoria be part of the equation.

im not trans being i experience dysphoria. im trans because being a woman is rad as hell and it's what i wanted. im trans because changing my name to Alice was the biggest moment of my entire life. im trans because rebelling against the societal restraints of gender is fucking metal. im trans because my friends can't even remember me ever not being me now. im trans because im a great older sister. im trans because god nerfed me and i said nah thanks man but im not feeling it.

my identity and my gender are very personal and complicated things, and narrowing it down to "i experience dysphoria" is frankly insulting to me.

anyway, that's the big point out of the way, so here's some shorter ones

2. this is kinda expanding on the last point, but truscum both insisting non-binary people aren't a thing and them insisting "transtrenders" exist is hmm Bad

the sheer fact of the matter is the concept of being non-binary has existed from the oldest known records of human history on TOP of that concept being prevalent in many different cultures so what do ya know there's a healthy dose of racism involved in the denial of non-binary people. the gender binary is such a western concept and there are SO many different cultures where different gender identities exist.

and, frankly, going back to the above point that gender is fucking Fake and is a societal concept - again, of fucking course there are going to be people who see a rigid set of rules on gender and are like "well wait that doesn't fit me" so of COURSE non-binary people exist

on the subject of "transtrenders" i feel like i shouldn't even HAVE to get into this subject because of how inherently transphobic it is. the concept doesn't exist. there are people who experiment with their gender and then decide their assigned one is fine. there are people who go through all kinds of different identities. there are people who come out as a different gender and then revert back due to backlash. there are people who get told the way they present their gender is the Wrong Way™ and get branded a trender. it's a dangerous thought process that literally does nothing but serve the cis status quo and make people afraid to experiment and think about their identities.

3. the idea that Those Evil Trenders™ are stealing resources from the Real Trans People™ is, frankly, fucking bullshit. issues when it comes to trans people finding difficulty accessing healthcare comes from a transphobic society hellbent on denying us care on top of fucked up healthcare systems in general. hormones aren't some limited quality hard to acquire thing - when i started hrt transferring my prescription from my clinic to my local pharmacy was a non-issue because it's something basically any pharmacy will have for ALL kinds of different purposes. it's an issue because healthcare in general is a god damn Mess on TOP of inherent transphobia

and, frankly, truscum are directly involved in that transphobia in the medical field. unless you find an informed consent clinic you're going to have to jump through all kinds of hoops to prove you're Actually Trans™ by getting referrals from other (almost always cis) people and then get put on ridiculous waitlists to make sure you're not about to change your mind. that kind of attitude is only encouraged by truscum and it is one of the biggest source of trans people having such difficulty accessing healthcare.

4. truscum as far as im concerned are no different than any other transphobe. two years ago before i started hrt i was harassed by truscum multiple times, each time having them tell me i wasn't trans, that i was just a trender, and it genuinely boggles my mind that anyone thinks misgendering me because i disagreed with their ideology is Woke, actually. I've seen so many fellow trans women getting called men by truscum who disagreed with them. i was actively told i shouldn't start hrt because i "wasn't really trans and was gonna ruin my life"

i really hope all of people live in anger every day knowing ive been on hrt over a year and a half and am fucking Thriving

anyway that's all i got to say on the matter i realize my points became less thought out as it went on but frankly the first point is enough for me to not like truscum

(please refrain from reblogging this i don't want any clowns in my inbox)

[willreadforbooze]

Hello!

BIG NEWS PEOPLE! Our Will Read For Booze twitter account (formerly Sam’s personal account) is going to be dedicated to the whole blog! So go check us out kthxxxx. While that’s amazing, Sam has to start from scratch on a new account, let’s show her some love huh? Check out her new account TheBooktender_  She’ll love you forever and ever.

Minda’s Updates

Goal for the rest of this year is to only read books I think I would enjoy and continue to be into. Working through something I don’t care for is just exhausting, and pregnancy is enough of that.

What Minda is reading now:

The Power by Naomi Alderman – In this world, teen women have the power to inflict pain—lots of it. I read a description of the book somewhere and picked it up from the library immediately. Looking to finish this then pivot to Tome Topple this weekend.

What Minda DNF’d:

HEIST by Kezzy Sparks – I FINALLY GAVE UP ON THIS THANK GOODNESS. I really tried to read it, but I can’t. It’s just basically one long poorly handled dick joke that isn’t very funny. And used the line, “guys will be guys, you know that.” Um, no.

Ginny’s Updates:

Hey Everyone!

The Nationals won the WORLD SERIES!!!!! I’m still ridiculously excited. Sam and I went to the parade and it was GREAT! Also that’s a lot of exclamation marks and caps, so back to normal. I’m so excited to get my evenings back and get to a normal sleeping schedule. So pumped.

What Ginny’s currently reading:

Lady Cop Makes Trouble by Amy Stewart: I read the first book in this series a forever ago and final decided to pick up the sequel. Constance is yet again dealing with the misogyny of the era, which is not great. But a convict escapes during a blackout and it’s kind of her fault. So she’s off on her own trying to find him. I find myself still really frustrated with her “sisters.” But really enjoy the other characters that appear in this book.

Wicked Fox by Kay Cho: Gonna be honest, I haven’t picked up this book since last week. There’s been so much going on and my evenings haven’t been quite my own.

Scrum by Jeff Sutherland: Same as above. Haven’t even touched this.

What Ginny finished:

Blaze of Memory by Nalini Singh: This if the 7th book in the Psy-Changeling series. And hoo boy was this one not my jam. There was some major abuse vibes coming off of this book mostly in that the main character seemed to be taking advantage of a woman with amnesia. That’s shitty. Also the descriptions that work really well for a Changeling feel very weird when it’s a human expressing them. 1.8/5

Chimes at Midnight by Seanan McGuire: Number 7 in the Toby Daye series. God this series just keeps getting better. Toby may have pissed off the queen of the land she lives in and suddenly has to race against a deadline to try to make sure she doesn’t get exiled. Gonna be a review.

Any Old Diamonds by K.J. Charles: I’ve heard so much about this author from the other authors I follow and boy was it a good recommendation to follow. The story was unique and fun and had a few genuinely unexpected twists. Alec is trying to get revenge on his shitty Dad and uses thief Jerry to get it. They immediately have tension which rackets up nicely. 4/5

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Siilvia Moreno-Garcia: I read this for book club. The book has the feeling of a Hades-Persephone story but surrounded by early 1900’s Mexico. Which is pretty glorious. I felt the book could be a little flat, but as we discussed in book club, that’s kind of how lore just is. 3.5/5

Bonds of Justice by Nalini Singh: This is the 8th book in the Psy-Changeling series and I’m kind of glad I read it immediately after the previous one because this was so much better! This is a true detective story with a relationship that sizzles and doesn’t seem abusive. Max Shannon, a cop, and Sophia Russo, a J-Psy who can copy and share memories, are on the hunt for a killer. This book was just crazy fun with plenty of chemistry. 5/5

Sam’s Updates

THE NATS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!! We watched it all, the ups, the downs, and the mightiest of wins. Ginny and I went to the parade which was amazing (and cold), I also took my first mental health day in 6 months and it was amazing…

What Sam read this week:

Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore: So this is a story of a family that always has 5 girls, 5 cousins. The men that spawn these women disappear, so it’s always the women. 5 ladies, 5 mothers, 5 Grandmas (abuelas), when suddenly a boy appears. He has no memories. The ending of this wasn’t predictable at all, but I really really liked it. It’s a story of love and loss and joy and pain and HISTORY. How the land remembers the horrors that were inflicted on it. I really liked it. 3.5/5

Girls of Storm and Shadow by Natasha Ngan: This is the sequel to Girls of Paper and Fire which i didn’t…. love… but also didn’t hate. Welp, I was right, tons of miscommunication between relationships, which I hated. But there were a couple new characters who I ah-dored. Will be doing a full drunk review of this one.

What Sam DNF’d

Epoca: The Tree of Ecrof by Kobe Bryant (creator) and Ivy Claire (written by): Yeah, you read that right. Kobe Bryant created this story. While at BookCon this year, we came across this small publishing house he created. Apparently, he loves making stories but doesn’t have time to write them out in full, so he builds the world, names the characters, plots it out, and hands it off to his author of choice to finish it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get into this one. BUT DONT FRET! It’s not that it wasn’t good, it just wasnt for me. In this story, the magic is sports magic, which is cool. The characters seem like they’ll be fun, but while I love sports, I don’t love them this much.

What Sam’s currently reading:

The Kingdom of Gods by N.K. Jemisin: This is the final installment to the Inheritance trilogy. Seems to be about Sia. Listening on audio so we’ll see how it goes.

Ashlords by Scott Reitgen: This is Scott’s next series after Nyxia and I am READY for it. I’m really early on, but basically, it’s fire horse racing. FIRE. HORSE. RACING. I cannot fuckin wait.

  Linz’s Updates

What Linz read:

Middlegame by Seanan McGuire: I don’t even know how to describe what I just read but it was real weird and real good and I am very happy I took a break from assigned reading to pick this up

Queen of Ruin by Tracy Banghart: The second half of the Grace and Fury duology. Spoiler alert, THOROUGHLY satisfying.

What Linz is currently reading:

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo: My diligent stalking of the digital library sites have paid off; I recommended it at the right time and was like #2 on the waitlist. Bardugo’s first novel for the grown and sexy is REAL dark, part..ghost story? and part many mysteries? and I am HERE FOR IT.

House of Salt and Sorrow by Erin Craig: The problem with working from home sometimes is that my office is where my books live, and the pretty copy from Owlcrate kept staring at me. This VERY much reimagining of the 12 dancing princesses is kinda weird and also dark and also I am enjoying it. If I didn’t have 15 other things going on, I probably would have tried to finish this over the weekend.

Until next time, we main forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Ginny, Linz, and Minda

Weekly Wrap Up: Oct 28 – Nov 3, 2019 Hello! BIG NEWS PEOPLE! Our Will Read For Booze twitter account (formerly Sam's personal account) is going to be dedicated to the whole blog!

[justawanderinglostsoul]

Fair warning that the majority of my personal posts on here are going to be about the DCP from now until at least May. 🤪

I still cannot believe I’m actually doing the DCP. I first applied for the program back in September 2012 with my then best friend. Neither of us got in; I was waitlisted and had to wait until November to find out I didn’t get in.

I then applied again in September 2014 after I was married and living with my husband. I was waitlisted again and waited a few weeks to get the email that said I wasn’t accepted.

After that, I gave up on ever doing the program. I thought I had tried too many times and that I would never get accepted, that it was too far into my marriage for my husband to really be okay with me doing the program; and plus, a few months after I last applied we found out we were moving to Japan.

Fast forward to spring of this year. Over the previous four years, I had periodically thought about the DCP and was so bitter that I never had the chance to do it. So, I mentally decided that I was going to apply one more time, just to see if I could get in. I wasn’t even sure I would actually go if I did get in. So, in July of this year, I talked to my husband about it and he told me he was supportive of me applying again.

On August 19, when applications opened, I applied for the final time. The last few times I had applied, I immediately (or at least within an hour or so) received a WBI, but not this time. I was stuck in AR until August 29. On August 29, I got an email telling me to schedule my phone interview. I hadn’t even done a WBI, so I was confused, but I later found out that because I had applied and passed the WBI this spring (impulse decision and I ended up canceling my phone interview back then), that I didn’t have to do a new one and my results would carry over. So, that day I scheduled my phone interview for September 5.

I spent the few days prior to my interview preparing by watching YouTube videos and writing a small amount of notes that I wanted to mention if asked about them.

On September 5, I had my interview at 2:45 PM. It lasted 26 minutes, and immediately after getting off the phone, I knew I had done well. I was so confident when answering my interviewer’s questions, I was excited and enthusiastic when answering, and my interviewer even told me that he loves when education majors do the program because their personalities are something special (his words).

Before I even applied, my husband and I talked about the whole process and the program itself, and we joked that I would probably get accepted this time because it was the most inconvenient time for me to do the program. We live overseas, we have a kid, and my husband’s work schedule is a mess. But we figured we could figure it out if I were to be accepted.

On September 17, I was at dinner with Lily while my husband was at work. My phone went off and it was an email from Disney. The subject line? “Disney College Program: Congratulations!”

I couldn’t believe it. I knew that was an acceptance email. I almost stopped breathing, I was that much in shock. I read the email fully and texted my husband, even though I knew he wouldn’t see it until after work.

So, now that I’ve told my story...

I just can’t believe this is real. I was accepted three weeks ago and it still feels like a dream. Everything is all set for me to go. The only thing I have left to do is pay off my Disney resort balance, and pack to leave. I have 104 days until my check-in day, but only 102 days until I leave Italy. My flights are booked, hotels reserved, everything. I just can’t believe it.

I’m SO excited to see where this journey takes me. I know it’s going to be hard being away from my husband and kid for four months, especially because unlike most other people in the program, my family can’t visit while I’m there. It’s going to be hard being roommates with random girls who are probably much younger than me and definitely in a different stage of life than me. It’s going to be hard working 40+ hours a week in the Florida heat. All of it is going to be hard.

But this has been my dream for seven years. It’s finally coming true, and I have to see it through. Maybe I’ll go and end up regretting it. But I know I’d definitely regret not going at all.

So, there’s my super long post about everything DCP-related. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[rwep2014blog]

The Journey Of A Decade To My Dream

So with 2020 around the corner and as I was planning and visualising what I’d like the next 10 years to look like, it got me thinking about where I was 10 years ago and everything I’ve actually accomplished over the past decade.

If you’re thinking about the year ahead and want to have a ridiculously amazing 2020, then check out our upcoming Epic 2020 Success Plan Challenge! 

Click here to find out more and get an exclusive invitation to the Epic 2020 Success Plan Challenge!

With a new 10 year cycle just ahead of us, this is such a great time to get more intentional about what you want the next 10 years to look like and how you’re going to make it the best decade ever! So I wanted to share with you a timeline of the last 10 years of my life.

This is a longer post than usual (a LOT has happened in 10 years!!) but I just want to show you how radically different your life can become when you commit your heart and soul to fulfilling your dreams. So here we go…

2009: Back in 2009, I had just built a phone unlocking business (which really bored me to death!!) and even though it was successful, I was miserable, because I wasn’t passionate about what I was doing.

So I started trying to figure out what it was that I was passionate about. I knew that I loved helping other people, so I signed up as a volunteer business mentor for the Prince’s Trust. But I still felt like there was something missing in my life, like I wasn’t doing what I was meant to be doing. It got to the point where I felt so low, confused and lost. 

A year before, in 2008, I’d had the idea to create a platform to inspire women in business, but kept standing in my own way and avoiding that idea because I was doubting myself. I just kept trying to do everything else and feeling so lost.

2010: At the beginning of 2010, I decided to escape to Australia in search of an epiphany. I traveled around Australia for three months and had absolutely no epiphany whatsoever! I came home feeling even more confused than before.

2011: By this time I was feeling more miserable than ever because another year had gone by and I was still as confused as ever. Luckily, I reread a brilliant book I loved, called the E-Myth Revisited, by Michael Gerber. In this book there’s an exercise where the author gets you to imagine your funeral and pushes you to ask yourself questions like what would people think about the life you lived and the person you were.

I realized that I no longer wanted to be this miserable person who constantly felt stuck, lost and confused. I wanted to stop going round in circles year after year and I’d had enough of my own crap! I came across a quote by Tony Robbins that said, “In 10 years you’ll surely arrive, the question is where?” And whilst I had no idea where I wanted to arrive, I was ready to open myself up to going on an adventure to make the next 10 years the best 10 years.

So I decided to go on a mission I like to my “Mission Success Challenge”, and decided that I was going to challenge myself to see what would be possible if I conditioned myself for success, if I stopped the self-limitation and found out what I could achieve if I just went for it. What could I make happen if I just allowed myself to dream big and to try and live my dream life. 

I bought myself a journal and began writing out my story up until that point. I had come up with the idea for FEA in 2008, so I made the decision to figure out how I was going to build it, how I was going to live my best life and how I was going to achieve incredible things. All of a sudden I had given myself permission to just go for it. I wrote:

“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.

I decided that one day I was going to turn this journal into a book and publish it with Hay House. And that was part of the vision. (Hint: It happened a few years later!!)

Finally, after three years of sitting on it, I launched the website for the Female Entrepreneur Association. I built it myself on WordPress and was so proud of it! A couple of months later, I launched my first event and 60 women attended! I contacted the local media, got some press coverage and it was amazing!

And after that I just kept focusing on getting myself out there and networking like a crazy person! I’d never had the guts to put myself out there like that before – I was finally doing it and it felt so good!

That same year, The Telegraph newspaper published an article all about the Female Entrepreneur Association and this felt like such an incredible moment for me because I was finally moving in the right direction. 

2012: The more momentum I started to build, the more I started dreaming big. At the beginning of 2012 I began working on a digital magazine, This Girl Means Business, and was interviewing all these amazing women and working hard on getting the message out there. 

I wanted to create more awareness and build an incredible community, so I decided that I was going to start doing videos.  I had no idea what I was doing and I was so petrified and when I look back they look so awful, but everyone has to start somewhere!

I was determined to figure things out, to get better and to just keep putting my message out there so I stayed consistent with it, doing one video every week. People still find and discover videos I put out there in 2012 and that’s how they’re finding me and FEA now. It’s been so powerful!

In Autumn of 2012 I was nominated for an award called the Changemakers and I was up against 26 other incredible entrepreneurs… I won and couldn’t believe it! I was presented the award and then got into a helicopter mentoring session with Lord Bilimoria, founder of Kobra beer. I had visualized this moment over and over again in the run up to the award night and it was actually happening!

A couple of months after that I totally ran out of money because I was so focused on just inspiring people, serving my audience and providing free value. I had developed this warped belief that if I started charging, I would become out of alignment with my goal and my intentions with building the platform in the first place. It’s crazy how our own money blocks hold us back!

So by the end of 2012, I realised I needed to work on this mindset and my money blocks and amazing things started to happen! I started to do joint ventures with the likes of Lewis Howes, Amy Porterfield and James Wedmore and serving more people!

2013: By 2013 I was still focused and working on getting myself out there and was gaining incredible opportunities, such as speaking at the UK House of Commons for International Women’s Day, which was again an amazing milestone.

By the end of 2013, I finally plucked up the courage to actually launch my membership site, which had been on my goal board for years but I had been too afraid to do it. Since then it has grown to over 5,000 members and has been the most phenomenal experience.

2014: In 2014 I was invited to do a TEDx talk, which had also been on my vision board! I was invited to speak in front of nearly 1,000 people and that video has now racked up nearly 7 million views on YouTube, which blows my mind!                           

2015: Following on from that, in 2015, I received an email from the Commissioning Editor of Hay House publishers in the UK saying that she had been following me for about six months and was interested in offering me a book deal! I couldn’t believe it, this had been on my vision board for years!                        

2016: I finished writing the book, She Means Business, in 2016, and in the meantime kept working on building my business, growing my audience, serving them and providing as  much value as I could.

2017: My book came out in 2017 and it was just the most surreal experience walking into book shops everywhere and seeing my book on the shelf! So much of what I wrote came straight out of that journal from 2011! 

2018: In 2018 I finally made my dream come true of actually creating a physical product. I launched the Carrie & Co. Perfectly Planned planner, which has been amazing to have something I’ve created that I can physically touch and hold.

And the rest is history! It has been an amazing journey and it’s insane to think of where I was back in 2009, when I was just down in the dumps, feeling so low, so lost and confused, too afraid to commit to my ideas! 

That decision to give myself permission, that commitment to creating success changed my life!                           

So what I would say to you is, where were you 10 years ago and what has your journey looked like since then? Take some time to think about all the good stuff, as well as all of the things that didn’t really go to plan and learn from everything! Just create awareness as to why the last 10 years have gone the way they have and then start thinking about what you want the next 10 years to look like.

Just know that change will happen, but get really intentional about creating success, living your best life and building the business of your dreams. That’s what this is all about. 

So take some time now to start focusing on where you want to arrive in 10 years and start creating this picture for yourself. As a start, focus on making 2020 an absolutely incredible year where you can kick off this next decade in the most magical, inspired way possible.

And if you’re ready to make the commitment to having an epic year and an epic decade to come, make sure you join me for our upcoming Epic 2020 Success Plan Challenge, where I’ll hold your hand as you create your own Mission To Success!

Click on the link below to find out more, register yourself on the waitlist and get your hands on an exclusive invitation before the challenge launches in January!

Click here to find out more and join the Epic 2020 Success Plan Challenge Waitlist!

The post The Journey Of A Decade To My Dream appeared first on Female Entrepreneur Association.

Originally posted on The Journey Of A Decade To My Dream via Fitness Franchise Opportunities in the UK

syndicated from The Journey Of A Decade To My Dream

syndicated from Originally posted on The Journey Of A Decade To My Dream

[kansascityhappenings]

‘Mommy can’t do this for much longer’: Waiting for a liver transplant, she prepares her family for the worst

CLEVELAND — Erika Zak and her family moved across the country more than a year ago to be near the Cleveland Clinic. They wanted to be ready at a moment’s notice for a liver transplant that could save her life.

She and her husband, Scott Powers, thought the move would last three months, maybe five. That she would get a new liver and begin the slow process of recovery. Instead, she’s been mired in the bureaucratic process of who gets an organ and who dies.

“We’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting,” says Erika, 39. “I’m losing hope that I will ever get a liver.”

She vomits blood. Her skin peels off. Her legs, hips and feet swell to the point it feels “like I’m carrying an extra person on me.”

Five years ago, after her initial cancer diagnosis, she wrote to her newborn daughter, Loie, that she hoped to be around “to tell you this story has a happy ending.” She survived cancer, but surgery to remove two tumors went terribly wrong and severely damaged her liver. The conversations with her daughter have grown more sobering.

“Mommy can’t do this for much longer,” she tells Loie. “There’s a chance we might go home soon to Portland.”

“But that means you won’t get a liver,” Loie responds.

“I know that,” Erika says.

“That means you’re going to die,” her 5-year-old girl says.

“That’s right. That is what will happen.”

A social media outcry

CNN first reported on Erika’s case on Mother’s Day in 2018. Her saga then was a battle with UnitedHealthcare after the insurance giant denied her coverage for a transplant. Desperate, the young mother penned a plea directly to the CEO of UnitedHealth Group, David Wichmann.

She blasted what she called the “shockingly incompetent manner” in which the nation’s largest insurer handled her case, describing a a series of errors made in the review process. “Given that my life hangs in the balance based on this review,” she wrote, “it is unconscionable it has not been undertaken with the level of competence and professionalism anyone would expect of UHC.”

The insurance giant did ultimately approve her coverage — a decision that came shortly after the family informed the insurer they had turned to the media to get her story out.

A social media outcry ensued with people far and wide lending Erika their support, dumping on insurers and creating the hashtag #ErikaZak. Some went so far as to offer their own livers, although she needs a liver from a deceased donor. A family in Cleveland opened their home rent-free.

Erika, Scott and Loie picked up their belongings in Portland, Oregon, and transported their lives.

The long wait for a liver

More than 13,500 Americans were on the wait list for livers in 2018. A total of 8,250 received liver transplants last year, including 7,849 transplants from deceased donors, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing, or UNOS, the nonprofit group that manages the nation’s organ transplant system.

Another 5,121 people have undergone liver transplants so far this year, according to UNOS statistics. The sad reality, the organization says, there are more people in need of organs than donors. In 2018, 1,170 people died while waiting for livers, UNOS said.

“Our hearts break for Erika and her family and the many others like her who continue to wait for a transplant,” UNOS said in a written statement to CNN.

Most frustrating for Erika, her “MELD” score — the ranking that is used to prioritize who gets an organ — reached a high of 30, the average score at which most people undergo a transplant. But a national policy change knocked her score back to 23, almost exactly where she was more than a year ago. Her doctors have continued to appeal for “exception” points to reflect Erika’s urgency and raise her MELD score.

“We just wish her doctors’ opinions in a situation like this would be most important,” her husband says.

In its statement to CNN, UNOS said the policy change “was meant to make the exception scoring process more fair across the United States and help as many people as possible while making the system more equitable.”

“We are acutely aware that this can feel otherwise when a patient or a loved one is on the waitlist and their program’s request for a specific score is declined,” UNOS said. “Our goal is to make the system equitable and save as many lives as possible by getting the right organ to the right person at the right time. We strive every day to reduce the number of the people who die waiting for an organ despite the fact that the need for them far exceeds the available supply.”

UNOS then made a direct appeal for people to sign up to become organ donors at registerme.org, saying, “This single act of generosity can help Erika, others on the waitlist, and those who will be on the waitlist at some future date.”

On Twitter, Erika ripped UNOS for not fixing its “unintentional flaws in new policy” and for using “low organ donation rates as scapegoat for my critical situation (& others).”

Dr. Andrew Cameron, the chief of transplant surgery at Johns Hopkins and the surgical director of its liver transplant program, is not part of Erika’s team and not affiliated with UNOS. But he has followed Erika’s ordeal.

He says her story is heartbreaking and unfortunately “far too common in the United States.”

“Her situation pulls at our heart strings,” he says. “But I am still pulling for her lottery ticket to come through.”

“I am hopeful that she’ll get a transplant in time. I am very sympathetic with how hard it is to wait,” he says. “Living your life in liver failure is a terrible proposition and the uncertainty of not knowing when a transplant will come can make it almost impossible for a patient and their family.”

Erika says her fight is bigger than herself. She hopes her story raises awareness of the need for more organ donors and the “insane” process for those who wait.

“I’m just angry,” she says. “Sometimes I don’t know if it’s an imbalance in my brain or me being completely fed up with the whole situation.”

“I’m angry my MELD score was lowered. I’m angry that my independence is completely gone.”

Saving Erika

For her loved ones, the red tape has added to the pain of seeing her suffer. Her twin sister, Jenna Zak, posted a photograph on Instagram of Erika sprawled on a hospital bed, tubes and IVs hooked up to her seemingly everywhere.

“This is the photo I took of my sister after she almost bled to death due to her liver failure,” Jenna wrote Wednesday, tagging UNOS public relations in the post. “Do you take this into account when you deny her points? Do you factor in she coughs up cups of blood because her liver is failing?”

Jenna has begun tagging anyone with UNOS she can find on social media — a scorched Earth strategy to fight for her sister to the very end. “Their policy change, they were trying to do the right thing. But they didn’t consider people like my sister,” she says. “We don’t think they’re bad people, but they’re not doing the right thing here. They’re not saving my sister.”

“I don’t want her to be in pain anymore,” she adds. “The only way that can happen is if she dies or if she gets this transplant.”

As a twin, Jenna’s emotions are a complex feeling of helplessness and guilt mixed with determination to save Erika. Over the last five years, as Erika fought for her life, Jenna got married, had a child and succeeded at work. “There’s guilt involved in that,” she says. “A lot of times I don’t know what to do or what to say to Erika. I wish I could take the pain away, but I can’t.”

She wonders: “Why has she had all these health issues and not me?”

She plans to help Scott raise Loie as best she can, though she would prefer her sister get the transplant and flourish. “It’s just not fair,” she says. “I’ve literally never seen somebody fight so hard to live.”

In Cleveland, Erika offers this wisdom for people in good health: When she closes her eyes and daydreams, she thinks, “God I wish I never took a moment for granted. I wish I had done all the things I was always scared to do.”

“You can’t understand real suffering — even if you’re witnessing it — unless you’re going through it,” she says. “You can describe it to your friends and family. They can watch it, but they obviously don’t know what’s happening to your morale, your body and everything else.”

“True suffering,” she says, “it’s next level.”

On her life’s bucket list is one thing: To travel to a remote spot with Loie and Scott, a place with a waterfall and blue lagoon. “I just want her to experience with me and Scott someplace beautiful without worry,” she says.

Of course, just being healthy and playing with her girl will do, too. Oh, how she longs to push Loie on a swing. To watch her walk down the aisle. To see her grow up.

“There’s not much more for me to do, except wait, which I can’t do much longer,” Erika says. “I don’t want to immediately go back to Portland, but I am prepared very soon to go back.”

She’s begun having those tough conversations with her girl should the transplant never come. Erika believes she needs to be as honest as possible. “You guys are going to be OK without me,” she tells her. “I want Daddy to find somebody else who will love him and you.”

“Her heart breaks and she cries,” Erika says.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/08/17/aides-got-trump-to-delay-tariffs-by-telling-president-it-could-ruin-christmas/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/08/18/mommy-cant-do-this-for-much-longer-waiting-for-a-liver-transplant-she-prepares-her-family-for-the-worst/

[inmywellies]

October 10, 2018

Things have been kind of bad lately and I want somewhere to document my thoughts. I don't know where to start.

I moved to Seattle in August because LA was unbearable. I was feeling really sad and lonely and my relationship was not going very well. I am now in Seattle and it's all the same thing here too. The brief period of semi-happiness I had in 2015 feels like an eon ago. I feel like I've made a lot of wrong turns and bad decisions, and I've been too afraid of the unknown to really fix it. I wish I could end my relationship. I wish I had a better personality and was comfortable talking to people and making friends. I am on a wait list for a nice therapist in Seattle, and the therapy is ostensibly going to help me improve my garbage self-esteem, learn coping skills for depression and loneliness, and learn how to be more social. It's a 3-6 month waitlist. I was put on it a week or two ago. I had to call the office and do a short phone interview, explaining what I wanted from the treatment and why I believe I need it. A couple days after the phone interview they said I'd be a good fit and put me on the waiting list. One thing about the treatment is it will cost me ~$1200 month for 2 mandatory sessions per week. It will be out of pocket, but I might be able to ask my insurance to reimburse me for part of it. I am supposed to call my insurance to find out of the treatment is eligible before I start going.

I'm not sure what would be the most beneficial way to structure this thing. Or what I should talk about. I imagine weeks, months, years from now someone who isn't me might be reading this. What would they want to know? How much honesty should I provide?

How is my work going?

Work is ok. I am back doing stormwater design (I was doing rail alignment design in LA, which I found more technical and enjoyable). I don't really like what I do here. I delineate surface areas in autoCAD, showing the new pavement, impervious pavement, replaced pavement, then get the numbers and figure out what criteria we are supposed to design for. It's just kind of boring. I remember being able to tolerate it better in VA, but still finding it boring. I am really shy and afraid of my colleagues. I am worried about bothering them with my personality or saying something awkward. But in that fear I avoid them, so they probably think I'm weird. I am doing it to myself. In the phone interview with the therapy clinic, I mentioned that I think everyone would be better off without me, so i avoid them, but I am very lonely all the time. And it's been happening for a long time.

How do I like Seattle?

It's a mixed bag, but everywhere I have lived is like that. I live and work in Seattle, and I commute to work by bike or by bus. A problem I had with LA is that the traffic was really bad. My thoughts wonder while I drive and it all tends to be extremely self-negative, and 50 minute commutes 2x a day gave me alot of time to think. Some days I'd sob while driving because I was thinking how horrible I am in a loop, with years worth of "evidence" (that time I said this mean thing to someone, that time I said something really weird and people laughed, that time someone said no one likes me, etc). Anyway, part of living in Seattle was that I was going to be car-free and free from the thought-loop I get into while driving.

With biking, I like the fitness. I like the fresh air. I like riding my bike. I don't get into negative, self-hating thought-loops on my bike; there are too many things going on outside to think inward. However, there are things that make me uncomfortable with biking.

The first thing is that the bike infrastructure isn't that great. There are dedicated bike Lanes that are separate from the road and sidewalk on some roads, but only part of 1 road that I take for commuting to work has it. Biking in the road with cars is dangerous and awkward and exactly what you expect it to be. I feel mildly unsafe and like a burden to the drivers when I bike. It is worse on the bike home than the bike to work.

The second issue I have with biking is the people in Seattle. The men specifically. At least 1x a week, but usually 2x a week a man will comment on my body in some way and I find it extremely unpleasant. Usually it's when I am stopped at a light or going slowly up a road and the man is either on the sidewalk , waiting for the bus, or in a car and he yells out to me. It's always about my body, always about my ass and legs. I have (undiagnosed) body dysmorphia and my body is really stressful sometimes. Some days I look in the mirror and hate myself because of how chubby and fat I am, and other days I'll see myself in a mirror and be shocked that I am not grotesque. Parts of society have placed moral value on thinness and bodies, and I have deeply internalised it and feel like a failure when i see my body. So, these men yelling to me to comment on my body is a reminder. It's not just a biking thing, as I have been followed by two different men (one repeatedly kept asking me if I was Brazilian...) And the other followed me into an alley to ask me out and shake my hand. I find it really bothersome and it doesn't inflate my ego in anyway. It doesn't help that they were all old too haha. I've started listening to podcasts while biking to drown out the people. It does make it less safe (cars) but it helps with my bad mood.

The third issue I have with biking is frivolous, but I don't like how dirty and sweaty it makes me. Or that I have to lug around two sets of clothes (one for work and one for biking in). I should get over that.

Taking the bus. I like taking the bus because I can read the whole time. Whoever lived in the apartment before me was subscribed to The Economist and so I read a one-off issue that showed up in the mail box and it was really interesting. I also am reading a book on the French revolution, or some days I'll just read the news. I also like that I only have to wear 1 outfit and don't have to bring a heavy panier with me to carry all my stuff-just a bookbag.

The bus does take 40-50 minutes to get to my place (biking takes 35-40min). And sometimes mentally ill people get in the bus and yell and each other or nothing at all, which is unpleasant. Yesterday, I got on the #8 bus (which goes through the nicer part of Seattle) and I sat in the very back since I get off close to the end. A man got on at one point and sat by me and was silent. I wasn't really paying attention to him. Two highschool-aged girls got on later and were talking loudly about something. The man sitting by me yelled, "THIS IS THE ENCORE!" And then laughed maniacally-really fucking creepily- and then went into a weird laugh/hum. I looked over and he made eye contact with me, and an other man said "man what the fuck is wrong with you". The bus was moving but I stood up and went to the front, in case it somehow got worse. I don't know what you're supposed to do when stuff like that happens, but I was was planning on just ignoring it in case he had a tick or something but then the man engaged him and I didn't want to be around. This other day two weeks ago, a man was mumbling in Vietnamese/Thai but randomly cussing in English or saying "I want my money back you owe me" and he was saying it to this other guy who didn't know him. It was uncomfortable.

Okay I didn't mean to make all of this so negative. I'm still trying to get a handle on Seattle. The city is definitely strange and enjoys the strangeness, though.

[yesterdaysdreams]

Podcasts to Listen to This Summer

I love podcasts! I mostly listen when I am doing tasks that don’t require a ton of thinking, like folding laundry or editing photos. The summer months present even more time to listen though because sometimes we end up on long car drives or waiting in airports. Trey and I even listened to one of our favorite (comedy) podcasts while we were sitting on the beach on our anniversary trip recently. In case any of you are looking for more podcasts to listen to in the coming months, I figured I’d share some of my favorites.

Also, I have to mention, in case any of you are thinking about starting your own podcast you should check out our latest e-course, Launch a Podcast. It’s super in-depth and taught by three awesome and experienced teachers. I can’t wait to add some of our students’ podcasts to my rotation someday. 🙂

Full disclosure: I am extremely random in the podcasts I like. Or, I guess I should say, it’s not all one genre. So I’ve divided them up into a few categories so hopefully you can find something that suits your tastes from my list. Also I’d love to hear in the comments any podcast recommendations you all want to share, too!

Comedy/Casual 

These are podcasts I listen to when I’m wanting something light and friendly. I would consider these the “beach reads” out of the podcasts I turn to most often. 🙂

How Did This Get Made

Trey turned me on to this podcast a few years ago and I’ve been hooked ever since. This is probably the podcast we listen to together the most (like on road trips) and we even went to see a live taping (recording?) when we were in LA last year. The gist is it’s three comedians plus guests who watch a bad movie and then talk about it. It’s hilarious! Obviously, it’s better if it’s a movie you’ve seen before, but I’ve even listened to episodes about movies I hadn’t seen and loved it.

WTF with Marc Maron

Honestly, this show probably has the best celebrity interviews of any show/podcast that I know of. Maron is just really good at interviewing people and he’s had LOTS of famous actors, musicians, and even politicians on his show over the years.

Young House Love Has a Podcast

John and Sherry are also two of the teachers from Launch a Podcast, and not surprisingly, they have a podcast that I love. It is mostly focused on home stuff (design, renovation, etc.) but it’s also kind of about lots of random things too, like books they’ve read, or what shorts Sherry bought for the summer. 🙂 To me, this is one of those podcasts that feels like I’m just listening in on my friends. It’s totally lovable.

Shailey and Katie’s Lemonade Stand

This is another podcast that talks about a lot of different topics like design, photography, social media, small business, organizing stuff, etc. And it also feels like just listening to two friends chat. I love it! Some of my favorite episodes include #64 Triangle of Productivity (of course I would like that one, right?) and also a lazy girls guide to Whole 30 and getting fit, which is episode #71. And just last week Elsie was on an episode talking about adoption and how it has changed her life (It’s a good one! Go listen!).

Business/Career

I love a podcast that either pumps me up to work hard in my career or gives me more ideas of things I could try in my particular business. Here are a few of my favorite podcasts that do just that.

Smart Passive Income

I love Pat Flynn and his podcast has taught me a lot about online business over the years. Highly recommend to anyone who makes their living online or really any small business owner.

Girl Boss Radio

Sophia Amoruso’s book, Girl Boss, was super inspiring and her podcast is no different. Lots of interesting interviews with very successful women.

Goal Digger Podcast

Jenna’s podcast is fun and uplifting but also very informative for any business lady out there. Lots of different topics as she is both an online business person as well as a photographer.

Elise Gets Crafty

I have a special connection with Elise. I have no idea if she would agree (ha) but I just LOVE her podcast and following her on IG. She’s a goal-orientated creative gal who doesn’t pretend that every project turns out perfect. She’s real. She’s consistent. I find her to be super inspiring. She’s currently writing a book about goal-setting and you better believe I’ll be hopping on that waitlist as soon as I see her post about it. 🙂

Food Blogger Pro

I read WAY too many food blogs. But that’s probably not a surprise to any of you. I have always loved Pinch of Yum and their membership site, Food Blogger Pro, has a podcast hosted by Bjork and it’s super helpful! If you’re a blogger of any kind (you don’t have to be a food blogger), I highly recommend you check out this podcast. My husband was on an episode recently too, talking about apps.

Happiness/Self-Help

I actually don’t have a ton of recommendations in this arena, which is maybe surprising? I think I tend to listen to more audiobooks that fall in this category, so I don’t listen to as many podcasts. But I do have one I really love.

The Bravery Board

This podcast is put together by a group of awesome women who also host events in my hometown (Springfield, Missouri). The episodes cover lots of different topics, so feel free to pick and choose the ones that jump out to you. For anyone else out there who is married or in a relationship, I highly recommend episode #407, Healthy Relationships. I found the advice to be super helpful!

News/Politics

I’ll admit, I’m not great at keeping up with the news. Mainly I just listen to NPR while I’m driving. And I don’t listen to a ton of news/politics-related podcasts, but I do have a few I love.

Embedded

This show is from NPR and really interesting. Usually it’s more of deep dive into a topic that is somewhat current. The most recent season just ended and it was all about the coal industry here in the United States, which I knew very little about, so I liked learning about that. But all the seasons are worth listening to.

Pod Save America

This one is definitely a mix of news and politics. The show is hosted by four former Obama aides. It’s not overly formal like other journalism podcasts; it feels more like a conversation between friends. But I always learn something I didn’t know before. Plus, they have some super inspiring guests on the show in past episodes too. I will say though this is one podcast that is mostly talking about current events, so it’s not as valuable to go back and listen to past episodes.

Revisionists History

This isn’t technically news or politics, but I love Malcom Gladwell and his podcast is very informational in nature (like his books), so I wanted to mention it anyway. I love most of the episodes, but if you’re looking for one to start with, try Season 2 Episode 9 – McDonald’s Broke My Heart.

Crime/Mystery 

Yes, I am one of those people that loves crime and mystery podcasts (and books!). I do kind of consider these entertainment podcasts (meaning I’m not looking to learn or better myself by listening), but some of the ones I listen to also end up being kind of educational, too. For example, I got into True Crime podcasts when I first listened to the first season of Serial (along with the rest of the country, it seemed), and before that I really had never thought about the possibility of wrongful convictions or really thought about the justice system in that way before.

Undisclosed

I started listening to this podcast after the first season of Serial as they also covered the same case because one of the hosts has a personal connection. Since then, they have investigated a lot of different possible wrongful convictions. It’s a super interesting show, although sad and frustrating at times. All of the hosts are also lawyers so it is also very informative and has that perspective.

Criminal

The host of this podcast has my all-time favorite voice, right up there with Terry Gross. Other than that, this one is mostly fun and features a pretty random assortment of stories, all of which center around some kind of criminal activity; there’s modern day serial killers, runaway slaves, and even an episode on sharks.

Lore

This one can be quite spooky, I think of it as the podcast of ghost stories (although not every episodes is about ghosts). Don’t listen to this one when you’re home alone at night.

What are you listening to? xo. Emma

Credits // Author: Emma Chapman. Photo by: Janae Hardy.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265713 https://ift.tt/2LZUpWQ via IFTTT

[the-impossiblemadepossible]

Detoured

I’ve re-writen this introduction 100 times. It has been the one blog that I’ve thought about for close to a year but constantly put down. The words just wouldn’t flow and I experienced what every English major fears: writer’s block. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve experienced writer’s block plenty of times but this one was different…I physically couldn’t write this blog…I mean I’d cry about it, so what you’re about to read is the culmination of emotions and experiences over a span of eight months.

Have you ever been driving on the highway planning to take exit 251 but instead take 151? It throws you off course. It’s frightening. You find yourself asking yourself “How did I get here?” You get to a place that you never intended to be and this new area is not what you planned for. It makes you question what the purpose of your original plan was doesn’t it? But you know what is so much worse than exiting the wrong exit on a busy highway in a large city? Looking at your life and realizing you’ve been detoured.

You’ve made all the plans and executed the course of action only to find out that where you thought you were headed is nowhere near it. That’s life and it’s hard, especially when that detour effects the dream you’ve worked for your entire life. To those reading this (if anyone actually does read this) and don’t know, I have a strong desire and passion to practice medicine and in 2016 I applied to all Texas medical schools. It was a terrifying, liberating and adventurous moment in my life with the anticipated end result of a “Yes!” However, the class of 2021 was selected and my name never moved off the wait list to the accepted.

Heartbreaking. Heart wrenching. Soul searching. Words I began to associate with a dream that has been inside of me since I was a young girl. The official no was the worst part. You see I actually was waitlisted at an institution and was notified that if by a specified date I didn’t hear back that it was a no. That day came and went and not one word was given. Forgotten. As if all the efforts I had done were nowhere near good enough to even be told “No.”

With this season of my life being in a leeway, I’ve faced trials that I never thought I would face. Since finding out that I was wait listed, I began to battle depression. It would creep in unexpectedly and turn a good day bad and a bad day worse. For over 4 months, I cried nearly every day and constantly asked myself what was my purpose. Surely, I couldn’t be this wrong about what my future held. Right? The worst part is that I didn’t talk about it to anyone really with the exception of my mom and fiancé (at the time). There were days that I literally wouldn’t get out bed because I felt as though I had failed at life…because of ONE rejection.

You see growing up in a Christian home I was taught that God had a plan for my life and He will bring it to pass. And when I heard a no, I thought to myself… “God, are you there? Do you hear me? Do you see me?” I grew angry, dismayed and broken. I felt as though my cries of desperation had gone unheard especially when I saw my friends succeeding in the same area that I had just attempted. And with those thoughts, the depression grew stronger and more frequent. I had friends and family telling me “It’s okay. You can just reapply.” “Don’t worry. You never know what might be lying ahead.” And I know their intentions were wholesome and true, but I just couldn’t seem to get anyone to understand what it meant to have a dream not come true…self-centered, arrogant and ignorant…am I right?

I remember disqualifying so many people’s trials as less than mine simply because what I experienced didn’t match their experience…and I call myself a Christian? It was in these moments of despair that I began to realize maybe just maybe why I hadn’t matriculated…I didn’t have the attributes that it took to be a great physician because heck I didn’t have the characteristics it took to be a decent person. It’s weird to think of myself in this light since I used to pride myself as being a humble and selfless individual…did you catch that oxymoron…pride and humble in the same phrase.

You see where humility exists, pride does not. Yet before I applied, I thought I ranked as one of the highest in selflessness. So now that an additional four months have passed since starting and putting down this post, I can’t thank God enough for literally breaking me in the one aspect of my life that I had “control” on as if a mere human has control of anything because in all reality our God has control over everything… even if I end up waking tomorrow.

So for the first time since the unexpected no, I’m finally able to talk about my experience with less tears and less thoughts of broken dreams, not because the dream has changed but because I’m slowly beginning to realize what it means to FULLY trust God.

If you’re reading this and you’re in a similar predicament, I want you to know that it gets better IF you give your burdens, desires and worries to God. This world can be (and will be) soul crushing but if you release everything that weighs down your heart you’ll end up feeling freedom you didn’t even know existed.

Don’t believe me, huh? Don’t worry I didn’t either. But if you’re still reading this, let me tell you a quick story.

Once upon time, there was a young girl who dreamed of becoming a teacher. During her adolescence, she would gather all her stuffed animals in a row (like desks) and teach them various subjects. Time passed and life happened and she got “detoured.” She ended up marrying her high school sweetheart and they ended up building a successful law practice while raising two girls. Her life’s plans had changed without her noticing. Years passed…too many to count and she never achieved the one thing she always thought she would be: a teacher. Now because of unforeseen circumstances, she became a single mom who faced her own battles of depression. It took her years (I MEAN YEARS) for her to find herself again, but she did… finally at the age of 50 (sorry for revealing your age mom). She achieved the one thing she always dreamt of the profession of a teacher.

You see that woman’s story I just told you is my mom’s. I was so self-absorbed that I didn’t realize the exact thing that was happening to me was the EXACT experience my mom faced. However, I’m sure if you ask her. She would’ve taken this detour over quickly becoming a teacher. You see because God brought a 360 degree to her life. She had the blessing of raising me and my sister from infancy to teenage years / adulthood. She packed our lunches daily and created memories with us that can never be replaced. She was a TEACHER of the Good Word  to my sister and I.

It really wasn’t until my mom achieved her dream that I realized God really does have a purpose for everything. So yes, my life has been DETOURED let me tell you. But I’m learning to take these twists and turns with a grain of salt.

Because if I had been accepted a year and a half ago, I would not be living in Houston creating a life with my new husband. I wouldn’t be making memories with him or trying to figure out which side of the bed belongs to who. I value my marriage too much to put it in jeopardy and perhaps the stress of a law school student with the conjunction of a medical student and a separation of 250 plus miles would’ve been detrimental to a new marriage.

So without any more time wasted, I want to thank the good sovereign Lord for teaching me patience, humility, and trust. I never saw myself living where I am today and doing what I’m doing but I wouldn’t trade these lessons or memories for anything in this world.

Right now my job is to be a patient, strong and understanding wife while building a home in a small bedroom apartment. Then when my husband has succeeded at his endeavors, I believe that it will be my turn to chase mine. It isn’t an example of subordination rather an act of love. I take this season as a season of growth and I believe that one day the white coat will be donned…but until then I’ll continue on this “detour” God has set out before me.

                                                       Psalm 46:5 

[willreadforbooze]

Hello fellow boozie readers!

Sam’s Update:

This week was pretty decent. I was trying so hard to finish some books for the start of Magical Readathon!! Which starts this week. Working hard to be a Metal Charmer.

What Sam finished this week:

The Defiant Heir by Melissa Caruso: I really enjoy this series and I’m so sad it doesn’t get any hype. I thought that it was a duology and that I’d be checking this series off my list, but alas, there’s a third book. Fortunately, it comes out this month! I’ll be drunk reviewing this so I don’t want to write too much here. Review for The Tethered Mage here.

Victory of Eagles by Naomi Novik: I adored this installment of Temeraire. We get to see a POV from Temeraire himself, and we get to see him grow and achieve his goals and WOW I just. And Lawrence, he had some baggage to work through and I think Novik did a fantastic job wit hit.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black: So this is the book that Ginny and I listened to on our way to and from Mama’s.  This book is about a human girl who was raised in Fairyland with the Fae. She just wants to fit in but she’s constantly underestimated and bullied because she’s mortal. Political machinations and spycraft and other things happen, she’s just trying to live her life. Man. The ending to this book… I’m still like… she is so. dumb. SO DUMB.

What Sam’s reading now:

It’s O.W.L.s Magical Readathon bitches!!

Charms: A Brightness Long Ago by Guy Gavriel Kay: I am barely in to this one, but from what I can tell it’s a story about a coup. We began with the assassination of the brutal governor by a neighboring rival. I don’t think I’ve quite mastered the writing style yet, but I can tell you that I’m enjoying it. I’m also not sure who the main characters are so… more information to come.

Potions: Tongues of Serpents by Naomi Novik: This is the next installment of Temeraire. Do you see the pattern here? I am LOVING these. This book takes place in Australia. I’m audio-ing this one as I have with all the others and it’s good so far. Not as good as the previous but good.

Ginny’s Update:

Hi Everyone, hope you’re doing well.  I was sick last week (but still went to work because colds suck but not enough to take time off- especially once you’re passed the contagious stage) so I ended up canceling a bunch of plans and watching a lot of dumb tv… Hope you had a good week!

Currently Reading:

Mr. Hotshot CEO by Jackie Lau: Yeah, it’s another romance novel.  Look, I know what I’m about.  Julian Fong is being forced to take a vacation by his family, and needs help having fun.  Enter Courtney, who has never necessarily been considered the life of the party but knows how to enjoy the small things in life.  Julian asks Courtney to help him enjoy life and boy does she… The writing can be a little bit stilted at times (though that might just be the way the characters think/talk) but boy is it still fun.  

Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay:  This is a book club book.  I’ve technically started reading but haven’t exactly gotten too far into it.  This book is a literal brick.  It is pretty big and more weight than I feel like carrying around (at least on the metro) so I’m gonna need some solid time at home to knock out some chunks of it.

How Long ‘Til Black Future Month by N.K. Jemisin: I got this as an audiobook, and I can’t do short story audiobooks.  I’ve heard the first two stories and they’re captivating, but I think I’m going to need to get a physical copy of this.

Completed this week:

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard by Chip and Dan Heath: This was kinda great. It was mostly a study in case studies, looking at why certain ideas are successful… and yeah I’ve definitely decided to use a few of these tips in my day to day life.  Still, if anyone is looking into making some life changes or just wants to feel a little bit hopeful about how change is possible this is a pretty good option.  4/5

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black:  I still hate some of the tropes in this book, but I very much enjoyed some of the twist and turns.  I’m not sure I’d end up continuing the series (there was a lot of telling rather than showing, and god was the main character dumb sometimes) but I would definitely want to get the sparknotes version.  3/5

The Year of the Crocodile by Courtney Milan: This was a really short extra story to go with the Trade Me book I read the other week.  Blake Reynolds and Tina Chen’s parents haven’t met yet because Blake’s dad is basically the founder of Apple and Tina’s parents were tortured by the Chinese regime.  This ended up being absolutely hysterical. Adam Reynolds is certainly a character and his thought process is so well mapped out that it is easy to understand why he thinks the way he does.  The verbal sparring between Tina’s Mom and Blake’s Dad was charming in the most asshole-way possible.  5/5

Minda’s Update:

Let’s go for Magical Readathon! Taking my O.W.Ls for my magical career path as a Librarian & I am so pumped.

What Minda is reading this week:

These Rebel Waves by Sara Raasch – This fills the Herbology O.W.L exam, which is not actually needed for my career but helps me earn an “Exceeds Expectations.” Risky move, but it’s the first due back to the library.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik – This has been on my tbr since reading Spinning Silver for book club and fulfills the Ancient Runes requirement. This was on a few lists as an awesome fairytale/retelling so sounds super promising.

Linz’s Update:

If you didn’t see our IG account, I was fostering a six week-old pupper all week, which is NOT conducive to getting my reading list done. I also hit a few books that I just couldn’t finish.

What Linz took a stab at but DNF:

The Resolutions by Mia Garcia – Four teen besties write each others’ New Year’s resolutions and try to follow them for a year. I dunno, this just wasn’t doing it for me. I felt like it took WAY too long to establish that all the characters are Latinx, it was REALLY hard trying to keep track of what time of year it was, the perfectionist’s storyline was super predictable, and there’s a character who works like, way too much in her mom’s restaurant and you’re telling me no one was dinging CPS at any point in her youth?

For a Muse of Fire by Heidi Heilig – A girl has powers over souls and also lives in a country with a lot of political and military turmoil. I actually tried reading The Girl From Everywhere before this, and I just couldn’t get into either book. I didn’t like how the worlds were built and couldn’t sink into them.

Black Wings Beating by Alex London – So, I’m an idiot because I definitely read the description about these bird-centric religious groups, and didn’t process it. I really liked where the book was going and like London’s writing, but I really really really do not like birds, and it was more bird-y than I could handle.

What Linz is reading:

Vita Nostra by Marina and Sergey Dyachenko – Sort of The Magicians but in Russia, and also Quentin is played by Sasha (a less intense Alice). It’s a weird book because it’s translated, so some stuff doesn’t quite work, and Sasha’s constant dread and confusion is a little heavy because the reader only gets as much knowledge as Sasha, but I’m gonna try to stick with it. 

On The Come Up by Angie Thomas – Do I need to summarize? I was just sure if you hadn’t been waitlisted for it, you’d already gotten a copy. The Hate U Give was a little heavy-handed but necessary, still relatable, and very readable, and I’m feeling things for this sophomore effort. (BTW my god if I’d only known of true heavy-handedness before I read The Hate U Give.) 

Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay – Honestly I have no idea what this is about, because I kept trying to read it between the puppy’s naps, so I have to restart reading it this week.

 Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Melinda, Linz, and Ginny

 Weekly Wrap-up: Mar 25-31, 2019 Hello fellow boozie readers! Sam's Update: This week was pretty decent. I was trying so hard to finish some books for the start of…