#girl i wish i was insane about different media too but unfortunately here we are

[sallysetoncore]

we're not having sex. put your clothes back on. i'm analyzing disney's 2013 animated film Frozen again. yes . again. why would you think i would be having sex i'm relating to a disney princess again

[autumnsart22]

Oikawa x reader ch. 8

Ok so I’m thinking that Sundays are going to be my day to update for anyone wondering. Also, next week’s chapter is going to be funnnn 😏

Suga’s mom was gone for the weekend, so Karasuno had the entire house to themselves. When I arrived, the first floor had been turned into a den of pillows and blankets, tossed haphazardly in a pile in front of the TV. The whole team was sitting down to dinner when I came in, but they leapt up when they saw me. 

I felt like I hadn’t seen them all in ages. With homework, managing Aoba Johsai, plus the new art classes I was taking, I was at a lack of much time. Kiyoko was the only one I saw regularly. 

“What have you guys been up to all day?” I asked, seating myself between Tsukki and Kageyama. 

Neither of them responded, but Hinata leaned over Kageyama to tell me excitedly, “We watched a lot of Attack on Titan, and played cards, and swam in Suga’s pool!”

Well that explained why all their hair was wet. 

“What did you do today, Y/n?” Daichi asked from one end of the table. 

I shoved a bite of the delicious Katsudon into my mouth, suddenly starving. “I went to downtown mall arcade with Seijo. They won a practice game, so it’s their tradition to celebrate.” 

“They celebrate every time they win a game, even if it’s just practice?”

I shrugged. “I guess. I think it’s to keep their spirits high and the team connected.” 

Noya pounded the table, prompting Tanaka to join him. “We should do that!” Suga rolled his eyes, smacking them both on the back of their heads before they could break any of the dishes. 

I asked about Karasuno’s last practice game, which prompted a full play by play, plus a rundown on everything that could have been improved, as well as a lot of random noise commentary from Hinata. 

At the end of dinner, Kiyoko, Asahi, and I helped Suga clean up the dishes, rinsing them and putting them into the dishwasher. The rest of the boys scattered to the living room, where I could hear them arguing over which movie to watch. 

Suga randomly whipped out a bottle of vodka with a little bit left, passing the bottle around to Kiyoko and I and we both took a few gulps. Asahi politely declined. 

Tanaka began to play a weird mix of trashy rap and old 2000s music, and a massive pillow fight erupted right as I entered the room, leading to a cushion right in my face. I grabbed one from the ground and chased after Kageyama, who screamed like a little girl as I smacked him with it. 

I could barely breathe as the alcohol kicked in, laughing so hard that my sides hurt. Tanaka and Noya wrestled in the center of the floor, Yamaguchi danced around Tsukki like a little puppy, and Hinata repeatedly attacked Kageyama with different pillows. 

We began to have a karaoke battle as Tanaka passed around a massive bottle of rum. When “Where Have You Been” by Rihanna came on, I stumbled to my feet, swaying. 

“This is my jam!” I yelled, snatching a remote from the counter to use as a microphone. With Hinata as my backup, I began to belt out the song full volume while jumping on the couch, almost falling.

Tanaka and Kiyoko cheered me on, while Nishinoya filmed me, probably to post on his story. I was too drunk to care. 

Oikawa POV:

I lay sprawled across my bed, hair wet from the shower I just took, phone in my hand. It was Saturday, which meant I had plenty of time to do my homework tomorrow. No need to worry about it now. 

Instead, I clicked through social media, a few volleyball highlights from Japan’s recent game popping up on my feed. I had already seen most of them, and I swiped instead to Snapchat. Tapping through people’s stories, I felt my heart stumble as I clicked on Yu Nishinoya’s. The video was brief and terrible quality, the camera shaking as Karasuno’s libero jumped around. A Rihanna song played insanely loud in the background, but my attention was wholly focused on the girl screaming the lyrics into a remote control, her H/c hair tangled as she jumped around on the couch. 

An involuntary smile pulled up my mouth, and I laughed out loud at how ridiculous she looked. So cute. 

I practically threw my phone aside, sitting up and groaning. God, why was I suddenly so restless? I wanted to slide up on Nishinoya’s story to demand where they were. I wanted to have her here with me, not them. Why did I feel like this?

I stood up and walked over to my dresser, where the picture of Y/n and I from the photobooth sat. I felt my face get hot staring at them, especially the last one. Her lips were curled up in a smile as she kissed my cheek, and I suddenly wished I didn’t look so stupid. When she had leaned over, I had been completely caught off guard, so my face was red and my eyes were wide with shock. I hoped she didn’t notice when she looked at the sheet later. 

Falling back on the bed with a huff, I pulled up the selfie I had taken with her. God, how was she so pretty? 

I swiped left, watching the video Hanamaki had taken of Y/n and I dancing for the fifth time that night. She was laughing, practically bent over as we jumped around like idiots to the song. 

I groaned, burying my face in my pillow. Did I like her? I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but why else would I want to call her right now, just to hear her voice? 

For me, volleyball has always been the most important thing in my life. I had girlfriends and infatuations in the past, but they were all brief and not worth it. Having our new team manager as my girlfriend was not a good idea, especially if things ended badly. She was off limits. 

So why did my stomach hurt just to think about it?

“Fuckkkk,” I groaned. 

Y/n POV (five days later): 

I swiped through the Instagram post Kiyoko had sent me, which displayed a cartoon beach and the words Volleyball Club Beach Party across the top. Apparently it was scheduled for this Saturday, two days from now. Unfortunately, Coach Nobuteru had scheduled practice for that day, so Aoba Johsai wouldn’t be able to make it. 

I texted back my disappointed response to Kiyoko, shoving my phone into my pocket, only for it to ding again almost immediately. 

Kiyoko

Just ditch practice for the day. Pleaseeeee

I sighed, looking at the post again. It really did look fun, and apparently teams from all across the area would be there. It would be a great way to meet potential opponents for upcoming games. 

I sighed again, already thinking up an excuse for my coach to miss practice that day. 

Y/n 

Ok fine ill go 

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

[claydoeee]

Damaged.

Sitting on my flight with a brutal black eye and some hours to spare on New Years Eve, the bittersweet feeling of another year passing sits with me and I couldn’t be more thankful. 2019 was arguably the worst year of my life and I failed myself in more than one way. People always asked me why’d I stay after the first time? Why did I let someone hurt me countless times and continue to do so? I don’t have an answer, I loved this man with my entire heart and I prayed on my knees every night that he loved me enough to change, but he never did. As far as 2019 went, I had many accomplishments this year but nothing can compare to the heartache I caused myself and the relationships I lost because I chose someone who never chose me.

Here’s to you,

I never been in love before until I met you. I was so in love with you, I could never deny that. I felt a way I never felt before in my life with you and nobody could have told me otherwise. You were my other half, the large piece of my heart, my person. You swore you were in love with me but had a really funny way of showing it. Do you remember that? The night I met you and we were inseparable ever since? All the laughs, the memories, and the platonic relationship we created, that I wish we didn’t. It feels like a lifetime ago that I was so blinded by all your “I love yous.” Or maybe just the idea of you. Or just the idea of love. I honestly don’t know anymore. I had a void in my heart that you filled for a long time...until you didn’t. My mind is so cloudy when I look back on that strenuous period of you in my life. Turning a blind eye to all the red flags and believing every lie you filled my head with was the foundation we were built on. Everything was great and I truly believed I met my match made in heaven (or hell I should really say). It wasn’t until I was living a day-to-day nightmare in fear, sadness, and feeling absolutely worthless. You filled my head with negative thoughts that I actually began to believe and hate myself. The happy go-lucky girl you first met was gone. My happiness, my dignity, my self esteem, and my mental health, all gone. I won’t blame you for that, I had a choice. I had a choice to leave and so did you, but we never did.

I seem insane, don’t I? That’s what you told me and everyone, anyway. For the longest time, you would call me insane, a cunt, unstable, and your favorite, “psycho.” I began to think you forgot my actual name. But I was only these names when I wasn’t beneficial to you at the moment or you “snapped.” Of course you always came back with your meaningless apologies and empty promises, until it happened again.

All of those terrifying nights when your alcohol consumption got in the way of your logic and judgement, and somehow, I ALWAYS deserved it. (Same man who made fun of me being raped after I shared that with him in 100% confidence) to give you a better perspective. In your demonic eyes, you truly believed that I deserved every hit, every punch, and every bruise you left on my body. The body I shared my insecurities with you about, the body you kissed up and down every day and night, and the same body that begged you to stop mutilating it. After the fact, it was always “you made me this way, you made me hurt you.” The night before thanksgiving, you gave me a contusion on my head from repeatedly hitting me over and over and over again. I went to the doctor to get my head checked out instead of redneck breakfast and you said I’m “dramatic.” I didn’t enjoy my thanksgiving because I was in so much pain and had a migraine but you carried on with yours.

You called me crazy to the girls you betrayed me with. The ones you reached out to when you missed my warm body beside yours. The ones when your nights were filled with loneliness instead of my laughter, and when your texts to me went unanswered. Staying at random places with girls who could never compare to me, just to tell me about it days or months later to hurt me. It was easier that way, wasn’t it? To call me insane or mentally unstable as justification for everything you chose to do. I get it though, It’s easier to place the blame on someone else than take personality responsibility which you specialize in.

So before I finally say all of the things I’ve wanted to say to you and to everyone you lied on my name to, I need to admit: I wasn’t perfect either. I’m not perfect and I never will be. I lied and hid certain things (that you ended up “exposing” on social media) and I paid for my mistakes. I told you want you wanted to hear instead of what I truly felt to avoid arguments or fear you would harm me again. I didn’t trust you like you didn’t trust me, and from the start I knew that it wouldn’t work for obvious reasons. But I still loved the idea of it. I loved the idea of you. Or the idea of everything you could potentially be to me.

So I ignored the panic in my heart, I ignored the bruises you left on my body, I ignored the way my friends’ voices filled with hatred whenever they’d say your name, and I ignored the pit in my stomach and all the anxiety attacks I suffered as a result of your abuse. I ignored every red flag you waved infront of me and gave you the power to control my emotions and dictate so much in my life.

The way you got jealous, the way you kept so much a secret, the way you always did things out of spite, and the way your eyes would glaze over when you drank too much. The way you would look at me, through me, when the drinking took control. Or how about the way you would embarrass me in public with your animalistic behavior? How you never claimed me? Or how I would be scared to come home with you and what you did to me behind closed doors. A ticking time bomb is what you were. You were angry that everyone found out you were beating me and felt embarrassed instead of feeling remorseful for beating a woman.

You brought up my past on a daily basis and you would say unimaginably horrible things to me, and mock me as I cried infront of you repeating “you don’t like that do you.” And then the way you would half ass apologize hours later just so you could start the cycle over. The way you promised and swore on your children that you would change and would NEVER physically hurt me again (which you did, 5 times after that “promise” was made). I met your kids the day we all went to lunch together, and I remember smiling and holding your 5 month old thinking how could you physically abuse me when you have two daughters? You wouldn’t want that to happen to them. So why was it always so easy for you to do to me? It’s mind boggling. But, I forgave you. Every. Single. Time.

However, I stopped forgiving. I stopped giving in. You almost had to blind me to make me finally leave. Pathetic right? I should’ve left after the first time you physically harmed me in April. But that didn’t stop you. Did it? You still tried to contact me to the point of using several different false phone numbers, social media, and emails. When you were alone you’d text me saying you missed me, you still loved me, and you wanted me back and anything else along those lines. And at night when you’re out at the bar with your so-called “friends”? The other TRUE side of you came out saying hurtful and cruel words filled with anger from all the alcohol and steroids in your system. Not to mention you’d end up going home with someone, lying to me about it, and then kissing my ass begging for my forgiveness. It’s sickening.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope you find someone who makes you happy because I am happy now. Happy that you left me alone, and happy that maybe, you would stop hurting other people, including yourself. But unfortunately, we’re all replaceable to you. The girl before me, the one after, and the one after that. We’re all the same to you. Insane and cunts when you’re drunk at night, and “amazing women who were the best I ever had” in the sober reality of the following morning. But the thing is, you didn’t hate any of us. How could you? The hell you made us live, the deceit, the lies, and the scars you created. You hated yourself, that was the problem all along and I only wish I would have realized that sooner.

I hate looking back on the time we spent together. Trust me, I don’t do it often anymore. But when I do, it’s almost like it happened to someone else. How could I have been so weak? So easily manipulated by you? How dare someone say the things you said to me or be told to go slit my wrists and do everyone a favor and kill myself? I let those demeaning phrases take hold of me. I let them convince me that I was everything you told me I was. But you still reminded me how much you loved me.

Getting away from you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I finally needed to say it all. To say everything you did to me. Everything you changed in me. Everything you made me realize. Thanks to you, I learned what a true man is and it’s everything you’re NOT. A true man would never call me names, he would never make me feel bad about my past, And he would never hurt me, when his job is to protect me. I hope you get the help you need. Because no matter how very much I despise you, no one deserves to feel that much pain and anger inside of them. No one should be miserable enough that their goal in a partnership is making the other person feel bad about themselves. But that was what you wanted, wasn’t it? That was your goal. Thank you for making me a stronger person. For making me realize what should be valued in a life and a relationship. As you lose relationship after relationship, I hope you decide to change. I always stood in your corner and was your biggest fan in every situation, even when you were wrong, I still stood behind you. You were my best friend. But I stopped letting you run and ruin my life. Of all the things I’ve done in my time on Earth, that’s one that I’m most proud of. That I got out. That I got away, and that you’ll never have the chance to hurt me again.

[lakinda5654]

~~~~A Girl and A God~~~~ Chapter 29- New Beginnings

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A Girl and A God is a RATED M Loki Fanfic with an original character, Alexa, who is taken in by Tony Stark after the revelation of abilities of her own. There’s sex, romance, heartbreak, action, fluff, angst, all that good stuff. Full description in blog, and a jump-to-chapter list if you just want the smut or the cuteness bits. Enjoy <3 

Chapter Summary: Despite Loki’s protest, Alexa is assigned and prepares to leave for her first mission as part of the team, and is given her new custom hero suit from Tony, and they make a shocking discovery... 

Contains: really just plot things, some protective Loki, some fluff

Word Count: 2,453

~Previous Chapter~~Next Chapter~

~~Beginning of Story~~

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The next morning, Alexa saw Loki at group breakfast. It was the first time she’d seen him since he’d left with Thor. He looked alright, confident even, almost as if he was proudly displaying his freedom to those who wished he didn’t have it.

Loki didn’t sit by her, and she wasn’t surprised. Everyone’s eyes were on them, and any displays of affection would probably cause outrage from those who thought Alexa was basically being used by him solely for his own sexual pleasure.

He eyed her several times throughout the meal. The entire gathering was quiet and rather awkward. Alexa was relieved when a few began to make conversation unrelated to her and her lover.

“So we actually have a mission to do instead of sitting around here moping,” Tony said. That got everyone’s attention.

“There’s a gang of some sort in northern India that’s been kidnapping hundreds of girls off the streets. They think it’s a sex trade thing, and more are disappearing each day. For the life of them, they can’t find where the girls are going or being kept, so we were called in for it.”

The group listened quietly.

“At least it’s something, I mean sure not saving the world from an alien race…” Clint spat his words in Loki’s direction, who gave him a smile and a nod. “But it is something. When do we leave and who is going?”

Tony went over the details of the mission, and Alexa listened intently. Fighting aliens was likely not her forte… but saving young girls from a bunch of rapists, that she’d be down for, but she didn’t know if Tony even wanted her to go. She really hadn’t ever used her powers in a high-stress environment, much less had she ever had to fight someone who had a weapon.

Loki was more fixated on Alexa then what Tony was saying. She looked angry hearing the details of the kidnappings- as if she could crack the necks of a thousand horrid men to save a few of these girls.

She’s good… he thought. Her heart naturally beat for the rights of others, even if they were beneath her. At this point, he had decided she must be something above humanity… a demigod of some kind possibly. No one has a story like the one she had in the woods as a girl without being something special. Surely though, she wasn’t ready to go on something like this. She was still so delicate and had never seen battle before.

Then Tony said something that ripped Loki’s attention off of his lover. “I’m going to let whoever wants to join this mission voluntarily tag along, and this will be Alexa’s first mission with us. I’ve got her suit up and running, and I couldn’t be happier with the thing. We will give it a test run this morning, so I can do any tweaking to it before we head off.”

No. This was too dangerous, she hadn’t even been taught to use a weapon.

“Excuse me?” Loki’s voice rang out at the table, causing everyone’s heads to turn. “I mean if you’d like her dead why don’t you just throw her out of the tower window now? It would be faster and more cost-efficient.”

Tony raised his eyebrows and looked to Loki. “Oh, so you’re protective now?”

Loki spat. “She’s never had any weapon training. She’s never seen a battle and you are just going to throw her into it?” He spoke as if he was speaking to an idiot, rather than the inventor of the iron man suit and the owner of Stark industries.

“Ok reindeer games well you’ll be going too so you can give her some tips. She’ll be fine. Her suit will help her and she will be alongside all of us. Besides that, this mission carries no guarantee of an actual battle.”

“She. Is not. Ready.” Loki spat his words at Stark, as he stood and took long strides closer to Stark until he was looking down at him only a couple feet away.

“Brother.” Thor’s voice was full of urgency. “Sit down. Lady Alexa will be just fine, she’s got all of us to help her.”

Loki turned to Thor, giving him a murderous look as Tony finished his briefing. “We leave after lunch, so pack up kids.”

As everyone stood to go, Alexa caught Loki’s eyes. He was scared for her, protective. She could see his fear and his anger at Tony, but she thought it was misplaced. I can handle this. Right?

His emerald green eyes met hers and stayed there for a moment. She gently raised her eyebrows and smiled at him. It was a look of “not to worry. I can do this.”

 He analyzed her expression, and she saw him clench his fist in anger as he shook his head stormed out of the room. Surely if she said that she felt unprepared Tony would let her stay back, but she wanted to go. She wouldn’t let Loki’s protective tendencies, though very sweet, keep her from doing things she’d always wanted to do.

She’d always wanted to use her powers for good, but she’d been shamed into suppressing them for so many years. She never had the opportunity before, but now, here it was, placed in front of her on a silver platter.

That morning, she entered the lab excited for the first time in weeks. A suit. What would it look like… and what would it do for her?

As she walked into the room, she saw it. Her eyes lit up. 

The suit looked amazing. It was very dark blue, almost black, with bright silvery metal trim on it. The whole thing in itself was a sort of leotard, but it had a metallic silver mesh over the stomach, upper arms, and neckpiece. Below the elbows, the arms were completely the metal that the trim was, and it stretched down into fingerless gloves. There was what almost was like a skirt over it, but just in two panels, one over her front and one over her ass, the back one being longer than the front. The bust area had a flat neckline, that stretched to the sleeves and cut flat across the shoulders. That metallic mesh came up from the neckline in a triangle and wrapped like a necklace around her. the whole thing was gorgeous.

Tony smiled as he watched her soak in his masterpiece, then interrupted her thoughts. “If you think it’s cool now, wait till you put the thing on.”

He rolled the mannequin into a curtained off area for her to change.

She slid it over her body, and it fit like a second skin. After exiting the dressing room, she looked in the mirror. The reflection she saw was stunning. It truly was perfect for her. Almost like a dress with the panels that hung like a skirt, but at the same time was head to toe protection and had her full range of mobility. And not only that, but the metal on the suit now had a glow to it.

“It holds some of your power,” Tony explained. “The glow shows it’s holding, which is great- Oh, and this...” Tony walked over to a table and held up a headpiece. It was simple, but clearly some sort of high tech addition to her outfit. It appeared to be a simple, thin, silver band that fit around her head like a crown, cutting across her forehead. 

“My hope is that it will allow you to have further, more intense control by bringing some of that energy closer to your brain.”

As she put it on, she knew he was definitely right. She realized quickly that her soul sight had become much easier to target. She could sense Tony’s more precise feelings, location, everything without even looking at him.

“How’s it feel? Any different?” he asked her hopefully. 

“Wow, yes Tony it’s so much more... clear...” She said while looking at him. “It’s almost like I can...”

When she looked at Tony is when she heard it. Hurry up kid... can what? But his mouth hadn’t moved a muscle. 

“OKAY wow um, Tony this is insane. Think of a number.” 

Oh my god, can she actually- “What?” he asked. 

“Just do it, Tony”

72... he thought.

“72!” Alexa blurted out immediately.

Tony covered his mouth, his eyes wide. He stumbled back into his armchair. 

Jesus Christ. I thought it would make it more precise but this... this is beyond what I thought was possible. This is insane... this is a breakthrough!

“Yeah, it really is Tony- oh my god,” Alexa replied to his thoughts. 

“Okay, that’s just creepy let's take it off,” he said before any more of his thoughts were read against his will. 

After she removed the headpiece, Tony explained that with things like heat, she’d be able to use the metal lining her arms to deploy it, or even create something more specific with her mind. 

She messed with the suit a bit more, and Tony showed her a few features. After she’d satisfied her curiosity, she thanked him. It was genuine, unlike the past weeks' interactions with him.

“One more thing werewolf,” he said, stopping her before she left. “You need a name. One that’s not werewolf. Iron man is taken, so is the God of Thunder, Hulk, Black Widow, etc. so, unfortunately, you can’t pick any of those.”

Alexa chuckled.

“Seriously though kid, what’s your name going to be?”

She thought about it for a moment. A name…

“Can I decide later?” She asked tentatively.

“Sure. Just try to think of something relatively soon. As soon as the media sees you in the suit with us they’re going to want to know who our new addition is. Now hurry. We’re gonna leave in 30.”

She hurried back to her room and packed a bag, and held her suit in the fancy case it came with. The group piled into cars and made their way to an airport outside of the city. Those who decided to accept the mission included Tony, Steve, Natasha, Thor, Loki and herself. The airport building had STARK in large letters hanging near the roof. From there, they boarded a small plane. It would be a long, 12-hour flight, and they’d be going against the Earths spin, so they’d be flying mostly at night and arrive in the morning. The plane was luxurious, as expected.

Alexa took a seat on one of the plush chairs, and to her surprise, Loki sat with her. He had been in a different car for the ride here, so she was happy to be able to sit with him for the long ride. This earned some glares and people roughly brushing past him as he sat in his seat, but he ignored them. She looked at his face, and realized just how fast he had healed from the incident yesterday... he still had some cuts but the bruising and swelling were reduced to almost nothing already.

As they waited for the plane to take off, she remembered her new suit that Loki knew nothing about. “Oh! Loki I forgot to tell you! My suit, it’s amazing...” She went on to explain it in as much detail as she could, with Loki listening intently. “Oh, and one other thing that's just insane, there's this headband that-” 

Something in her gut stopped her. That guilt... that she had seen in him the other day after they spoke of the team thinking he was manipulating her. She decided she wouldn't tell Loki about her new ability just yet... 

“Yes, Darling?” he asked, waiting for her pause to end.

“It’s just- a headband that brings more of the power to my head. It’s really pretty too, like a simple crown almost.” 

“Well, that’s wonderful Petal.” He said gently, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Loki had decided to stay as positive as he could about this idiotic trip so that he could keep Alexa as close to him as possible. 

“Oh, and one other thing...” Alexa added. “Tony says I need to come up with a hero name, so let me know if you can think of any.”

Loki nodded and took Alexa’s hand as they listened to the piolet give the safety speech over the intercom. 

Once the plane began to take off, Alexa locked her eyes out the window and kept her hand clutched in Loki’s.

“Looking for something love?” His voice was quiet, like a whisper as he leaned over to check the window in curiosity.

“No, I just love flying. It’s the most beautiful thing, watching the world from above.”

Loki wondered how she’d like the Bifrost if she thought this measly plane ride was so incredible. She was on that window like a moth to a flame as they flew, not once letting her eyes leave the world below. He watched her fascination, her innocence. He loved how the smallest of things could make her this wonderstruck.

The flight went on, and Loki had been reading a book that Alexa got for him about human history. While some might be bored with such things, Loki loved nonfiction books. They provided true knowledge, and knowledge provided power and ability to analyze and manipulate the inhabitants of the realms as he pleased.

It was around midnight where they were, and he took a break when he saw that Alexa had moved her blanket, and was glowing brightly in the moonlight once more. It was so beautiful each time, he thought he’d never get used to it, the way she shimmered in the night. 

It was at this moment that he noticed she was looking up, not down at the world below. He leaned over and saw that they were above a sea of floating clouds that were glowing from the almost full moon. Not only that, but the moon had something he had never seen before... it was surrounded by a beautiful, large ring of light.

“What is that?” Loki asked in fascination.

“It’s called a Halo.” She explained. “It only happens sometimes, when the moon is full or close to full. Isn’t it beautiful?” She said quietly.

He watched her as she stared at it, completely mesmerized. Her looking through the window at the very thing that gave her power, her eyes full of hope for her first mission, and also the rage over those who had been wronged in her world. She was on her way to fulfill her dreams, her aspirations of righting the wrongs of mankind. Altruistic, that was the word for her. She would protect others at all costs, even those that would hurt her. She was glowing so beautifully, like an angel.

“Darling…” he said quietly.

She broke her stare with the sky to turn to face him.

“I think I’ve found your name.”

[headlesshollis]

i realized something

if there’s one thing y’all should know, it’s that i stan people from across a few different genres of music, one of them being billie eilish.

the thing about billie is, she likes to put her art out at the most random times. for example, she announced a song last monday, releasing two days later. her fans went absolutely wild about this, and so did the media outlets. there’s a ton of articles already written on the song, and it’s only been out for about four days.

lauren and More Than That, however, is a different story. now, before you get mad at me for something i posted on monday, and how i was angry that we didn’t get much promo or notice of lauren’s new single, when i didn’t say anything and was surprised and excited to get billie’s new track, hear me out real quick.

billie eilish and lauren jauregui have two completely different careers. sure, they have the same occupation, but their careers are quite different.

let’s start with some background information about the two artists.

billie eilish has become a seventeen year old alt-pop star. her breakout hit, ocean eyes, has over 1.2 million streams on soundcloud (where it was originally published in 2016), and over 194 million streams on spotify. billie signed with Interscope Records, whose parent company is Universal Music Group. she and her brother, finneas o’connell, write and produce all their songs together.

billie released her first EP, dont smile at me, in 2017. her most popular songs from her EP consist of idontwannabeyouanymore (168m streams), bellyache (157m streams), and of course, ocean eyes (194m streams). her most streamed song is lovely (with Khalid), with over 340m streams. billie’s newest song, WHEN I WAS OLDER, already has almost 3m streams in only four days. her debut album is set to release sometime this year.

let’s move to lauren.

lauren jauregui is a twenty two year old rising alt-pop star. the former member of ultra successful girl-group Fifth Harmony, signed with Colombia Records (parent Sony Music) after Fifth Harmony took hiatus in early 2018. she released her first solo (not featured) single, Expectations, in late 2018. lauren first performed her single as an opening act for Halsey on her hopeless fountain kingdom tour in mid 2018. Expectations has racked up almost 17m streams on spotify, and its music video has over 10m views. her most streamed solo song is All Night by Steve Aoki (feat. Lauren Jauregui) with over 45m streams. lauren’s newest song, More Than That, has collected a little over 1m streams in about 36 hours.

now, you may be wondering, “okay, we get it. billie eilish is way more popular than lauren, we know. but what does billie have to do with lauren, aside from the fact that they met at some event last year? and besides, how did billie get so popular so fast?”

i’m glad you asked! i’ll answer your second question first.

billie eilish came out of nowhere. her popularity seemed to skyrocket overnight. from 2017 to 2018, her Instagram follower count went from a little over 250k to over ten million. it’s absolutely insane, but what is it about her that makes her so... fascinating?

perhaps it’s that no two of her songs sound the same, lyrically or audibly. one of her songs, party favor, is an upbeat, ukulele-based track with almost dark but sarcastic lyrics. on the other hand, another one of her songs, when the party’s over, has become the favorite crying session tune of most of the internet.

maybe it’s that she has the most outlandish style. she tends to wear over-sized outfits, neck chains, and dyes her hair uncommon shades. her rejection of wearing typical “girl clothes” has gotten her lots of attention from critics and regular people alike.

“but what about lauren?” you ask. “she gets lots of attention, too!”

you’re correct! she does get attention, but not just because of her music. let me explain.

lauren jauregui is probably one of the most woke people i’ve ever seen. she has raised awareness for a multitude of issues, such as immigration or the US justice system. she has also evolved into an LGBT icon, coming out as bisexual in late 2016. she fights for what she believes in, which is shared by her existing fanbase as a result of her time in FIfth Harmony, which gets attention from news outlets, who report on lauren and her beliefs, which gain the attention of potential listeners, which gets her musical attention, etc. you get the idea.

“okay,” you say. “her woke-ness is a beneficial factor in this. but still! where is her ‘breakout single’, like Havana by camila or Love Lies by normani and khalid?”

those kind of things just come with time. i don’t know if y’all remember, but Havana was never supposed to be as popular as it was. camila’s fans just enjoyed the song, and it was eventually sent to radio! and now, they won’t stop playing it!

same kinda thing with Love Lies. it’s a track from Love, Simon. people love khalid, they love how his and normani’s voices sound together, they streamed in nonstop, it was sent to radio, and now the radios play it nonstop.

“you talk about radio an awful lot. Expectations is played on the radio!” you say.

and right you are! it is played on the radio, but it only seems to appear on the SiriusXM Hits1 station. SiriusXM is a satellite radio network that is not free. yes, millions of people are subscribed to it, but if Expectations was sent to regular, free radio stations, it would get so much more popular.

“okay, enough about this stuff,” you demand. “you still have yet to explain what billie eilish has to do with anything.”

okay, okay, i’ll tell you.

you know how earlier i told you not to attack me because i complained about More That That and how we got almost no notice of its release ahead of time, yet i was pleasantly surprised by billie eilish’s single? i’ll explain why.

i think lauren’s team is trying the approach billie eilish had. this is actually the second time billie has released a song out of the blue (that i can think of). the first time was with when the party’s over. that song was an overnight hit. millions of people instantly fell in love with that song.

lauren’s team thought that, maybe, they could try the same thing with More Than That. they’d give the fans about four days to prepare themselves for lauren’s new song.

but here’s the problem.

lauren needs all the promo she can get. as sad and unfortunate as that sounds, it’s the truth. her fanbase just isn’t big or strong enough yet. believe me, it’s definitely getting there, but at this point in lauren’s career, anticipation is going to do much more than surprises.

not all artists are gonna have billie eilish’s story, no matter how much we wish they would. halsey didn’t start to get super popular until Now or Never and Bad At Love, which were singles off of her second album. if anything, lauren has an advantage over most artists.

we, as a fandom, just have to remember that all artists have to start somewhere. i’m not saying that lauren’s team is doing all they can, because they’re definitely not, they’re screwing her over, but she’ll eventually get everything she’s deserved from the start.

just keep streaming lauren’s music, and eventually everything will fall into place :)

[scullyeffect]

how do you feel about younger people in fandom? like the youngest side that are probably on tumblr i.e 13/14ish?

i don’t know if you mean in the x-files fandom, or just younger people getting involved into fandom stuff online nowadays so i’m just going to go with a generalization. 

i’m nobody’s mother and interests are healthy, and honestly i’m 23 so i don’t know anything about anything yet, but i will say that i live with a 15 y/o girl, a 13 y/o girl, and an 11 y/o girl, and i find myself very sad when all they want to do is go on a phone and watch youtube videos and be online instead of doing something more creative or intellectual.

we had a birthday party for 11 last night, and we had to take phones away from like six 10-11 year olds, which is ridiculous. i do understand that we live in a big city (paris, which isn’t exactly the safest) and lots of kids do things independently (walk to school, walk to friends’ houses, take the métro) so sometimes i worry about 11 (who doesn’t have a phone) if she needs to take the métro alone or walk somewhere alone, and i wish she did have some way to reach me if ever she got lost or something, but 11 is so young.

i think in a world that’s become so increasingly digitized and almost making it necessary to be connected in some way, kids are growing up faster, and some of the posts online and on tumblr talk about things they might not understand yet, and cause them to form opinions based on a text post some 18 y/o wrote. i’m even guilty of this. i’ll get too lazy to keep up with the real world and get my politics from tumblr sometimes, and that’s probably not good, even though mainstream news sources can do the same thing. my mom worked for the washington post, and that’s pretty much the only place i get my news from.

i probably got my first tumblr account when i was 15, and honestly i regret it. i was a pretty sheltered kid/teenager who really enjoyed reading, doing art, writing, and watching sad european dramas about dead sovereigns and suffering artists. i somehow discovered pro-ana blogs (blogs that share and encourage eating disorders to the point where healthy people can begin to actively attempt to follow insane tips in order to lose weight), and since i actually had been having trouble with my own eating habits but never really known that those behaviors were bizarre, i self-diagnosed and was part of that “community” for awhile. 

i was interested/ in love with lots of actors and actresses, and as i made it out of kind of the pro-ana area which i realized which was unhealthy lol i found out about stan culture and just real obsession with movie stars/celebrities. when i was a younger teen i was “obsessed” with meryl streep, which at that time meant that i watched all her films repeatedly. i didn’t realize people cared about the actors/actresses’ personal lives until i got on tumblr, and at the time it was really exciting to discover things about my favorite celebrities (i mean, being a fan of someone obviously isn’t new, but it was to me). now that i’m 23 i find it very invasive and somewhat creepy that we’re so interested in someone’s life, sometimes even more than their body of work. we’ll probably never meet that person, and if we do they’re not going to think about you or remember you forever, because there are thousands of other people out there who feel the same way, and they just can’t keep track (at least the huge stars). 

on the flip side, i think it’s good to have role models and people to look up to, but sometimes there’s a thin line there. i’m blonde, but i dyed my hair brown in my first year of high school because i was obsessed with marion cotillard and wanted to look like her. i kept the brown throughout high school because i liked it, and sort of forgot i ever did it because of her, but now i’m blonde again and it looks so much better haha. ALSO i got really interested in france/speaking french because of her (and juliette binoche), although i had a fantastic and enthusiastic french teacher in high school to help fuel my desire to speak french. and now i’m fluent in french and live in france. wow. so, if there are people you look up to in the public eye and they’re influencing you in positive ways, that’s great! i do get suspicious when very influential celebrities share their political views, though. i think we have a tendency to follow in people’s footsteps either subconsciously or in full awareness. that could be in any field. i like certain authors, and sometimes my own writing is heavily influenced by their work. it’s a natural thing that happens. but voting really should be an informed decision...just my opinion.

let’s talk about “just my opinion”. online bullying is real and can sometimes be rampant if there are dividing views on someone and their perceived private life. for example, in the x-files fandom we will, for the most part, absolutely convince you that mulder and scully are fucking like bunnies, when the show’s own creator won’t lol. but there are also people who think that gillian anderson and david duchovny (the leads) were/are/could be at some point in a romantic relationship with each other. they (anderson and duchovny) even cater to the fans a bit, but at the end of the day that’s their business and they don’t owe us an explanation, and a lot of people in fandom sort of act like they do. the point of this example was that because people in fandom are divided about this point of view, if you talk about one side or the other, there are some people who will come at you and say mean things for not agreeing with you, and try to convince you of a truth they have no real authority to speak about. this is obviously just an example, but online bullying is rampant and is often taken personally and can really affect the person being bullied, especially someone younger who may or may not be already facing that in real life at school lol.

i think tumblr is a good place for people who suffer from mental illness to come together in a healthy way to talk through their problems (god i hope i’m telling the truth), and there’s definitely tons of awareness and support that you’ll get on tumblr that you may not find in the real world. for example, i don’t know anyone irl who has epilepsy who i can talk to about mine. on tumblr i’ve talked with people who understand what i’m going through. i think that self diagnosis online, just as much on tumblr as it is when i cough and search “signs of throat cancer or tuberculosis’, read up on web md, and immediately fear my days might be numbered, is a problem. on tumblr i think we’re introduced to concepts and can sometimes treat mental illness lightly, when it shouldn’t. if you’re suffering from a mental illness, the online world isn’t going to be the place that can completely help you (says the girl who refuses to go to therapy and instead complains online about how she’s not getting any better). 

being online immediately takes us out of life and into a different world. we become observers instead of experiencing the world. there’s good stuff about observation, but being online and attached to a website that is more or less just a vice for people will often make us choose to be on our phones instead of doing stuff in real life.

all of these points being said, i’m guilty of a lot of the “bad/unhealthy” facets of tumblr, but as i’ve “grown up” (unfortunately still staying on tumblr for a good portion of that time) i’ve grown out of a lot of these things and can see the good and the bad that the online world has to offer, and know which parts to stay away from. i can recognize that spending too much time on here does nothing for my desire to stay inside and not experience the real world. it also makes me think a lot more about tv shows/films/celebrities than i need to. but i’ve also made great friends from being on tumblr over the years, and gotten support i definitely wouldn’t have gotten in real life. 

back to my real life. do i encourage the girls i live with to be interested in certain media? yes, especially stuff i feel has a good message. i basically sat the two older ones down and showed them the pilot of the x-files. do they experience the same high level obsession i do with tv shows/movies? no. and i’m glad for that. they like to lose themselves in certain tv shows, but when the tv is off they don’t really talk about it. do i introduce them to things i’m interested in media-wise? yes. do i introduce them to books and music i was/am interested in? yes. have i told them about tumblr? no. they don’t have any access to my online “presence” (they don’t know my instagram, twitter, etc), and i don’t talk about it. when my computer is out and they’re in the room doing homework, i’m usually writing. granted, that’s usually fanfiction, but at least i’m writing something. 

one of the boys i tutor is writing a book (he’s 11) which is basically a self insert that takes place in the harry potter universe. he doesn’t know what fanfiction is, and i haven’t told him (although he’d never type it up and put it online lol he barely knows how to turn the computer on), but i’m so thrilled he’s even writing that i make him sit down and write for 10 minutes before we ever start watching a movie (in english). 

ANYWAY. i’m nobody’s mother and at the end of the day i’m posting this online on my stupid blog where nothing i say matters or has any influence anywhere, but i think kids should be able to enjoy a non-internet related childhood as long as possible. some of us on tumblr are old enough to actually have children that age, and as much as we like having an account on this site, if asked this same question we might not as readily say ‘yeah it’s great! i want my teenagers to have the same experience as me!’

there’s my two centimes. hope i answered your question. JuST MY OPINION.

[ezilyamuzed]

My Tangerine

Summary: Innocent back and forth between two hunters online turns into a little more. 

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Language. Mentions of blood. Decapitation. Drinking.

A/N: This was developed for @frejahertziswritingthistime 800 Follower writing challenge. The trope I picked was  ‘internet pen pals’. I apologize for any grammatical errors, but I am human. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. Any comments and feedback are greatly appreciated! Enjoy! 

It all started off simple enough, just a harmless back and forth conversation with an internet stranger, but it slowly turned into.. much more. About two months ago you were trolling the online group message boards, hoping a case would pop up. Most of them of course had no merit to them. Michael Jackson had not possessed their child. Idjits. You couldn’t help yourself as you were scrolling through while finishing off a bottle of Jack to call them out. To have fun with them if you will. Back and forth arguments about Steve Jobs haunting all Apple™ products kept you amused for the next hour. You were about to call it a night when you received a private message request

 IMPALA67: You seem to know a lot about ghosts.

You rolled your eyes at the screen. Of course you knew about ghosts, you had just took out one the other night. The dirt from the grave site was still stuck under your nails. You were just going to ignore it, but decided to see what this stranger wanted. Maybe they had a case for you to work and were just trying to find someone to help them

Tangerine23: I might know a thing or two.

Tangerine23: Why do you ask?

IMPALA67: I thought it was funny the way you were handling those conspiracy freaks. They don’t seem to know anything about what they are talking about.

Tangerine23: ….

Tangerine23: No. No they don’t. They watch too much Ghostfacers.

IMPALA67: LOL. Yeah, they are douches.              

Tangerine23: So do you just randomly stalk people’s online debates to find people to talk to or do you have a point to all of this?

IMPALA67: Just found you interesting. That’s all.

Tangerine23: If you are a weirdo web stalker that lives in your parent’s basement you really need to find a new hobby.

IMPALA67: I most definitely am not.

IMPALA67: Why were YOU picking arguments with those posers anyways? Maybe you are the weirdo web stalker living in your parent’s basement.

Tangerine23: Maybe I am…you will never know IMPALA67.

IMPALA67: A mystery huh? Okay, I’ll bite.

IMPALA67: So Tangerine, what do you know about ghosts?

The message lingered in front of you as you sat pondering what you should say. Normally you would lie your ass off to any civilian, they would just call you crazy anyways. Even worse have you committed. This was different though, this was an unknown person on the internet. You most likely would never talk to this person, let alone actually meet them. The fifth of whisky you had finished off and your presumptions of the circumstances led you to the simple conclusion. Fuck it.

Tangerine23: More than you will ever know. 

 IMPALA67: Try me.

Hours had past as the two of you traded stories of the encounters you both had endured. Providing each other with little tidbits on some of the more interesting ways you have had to relinquish a pissed off spirit. As the stranger disclosed to you some of the things that would definitely have placed them in the looney bin, you came to only one possible conclusion.

 Tangerine23: You’re a hunter aren’t you???

 IMPALA67: Well I’m sure not gearin after Bambi if that’s what you mean.

 Tangerine23: You know what I mean smartass. You hunt monsters.

IMPALA67: Monday-Friday, every other weekend. Well, depending on the case. I kind of already figured you were one by the way you were talking there.

Tangerine23: I’ve only known a couple of other hunters.

IMPALA67: Maybe you have met me then.

Tangerine23: Unless you are also dead, then no I haven’t.

IMPALA67: Yeah, that’s what comes with the territory unfortunately. Sorry to hear about your friends, I’ve lost a lot of good ones too myself.

 Tangerine23: Never said they were my friends…

 IMPALA67: Lone wolf then?

 Tangerine23: It’s how I work best.

 Tangerine23: Hunter’s tend to be sexiest asshole anyways.

  IMPALA67: …?

  IMPALA67: Wait, you’re a girl?

Tangerine23: Yeah dude. A girl. Got a problem with that?

IMPALA67: Nah, I’ve known quite a few girls that have kicked my ass once or twice. Just talking to you…it was like talking to one of the boys. Shootin the shit, ya know?

Tangerine23: So because I wasn’t all, “Like totally. OMG! Those shoes!” you just assumed.

IMPALA67: You’re a rare bread sweetheart.

Tangerine23: That I am. Not many of us girls getting the job done.

IMPALA67:  So why do you call yourself Tangerine23?

Tangerine23: Well 23 is just a number…

Tangerine23: The other part deals with a song. If you don’t know it, then I don’t think I can continue this conversation any further.

IMPALA67: Tangerine, Tangerine, living reflection from a dream I was her love, she was my queen, and now a thousand years between

IMPALA67: Who doesn’t love Zeppelin?

His comment made you laugh while a smile rose upon your face. No one ever gotten it before. Heck, if it didn’t have anything to do with Stairway to Heaven, most people gave you glossed over looks when you even talked about Led Zeppelin.

Tangerine23: I see you can web search lyrics real quick there.

IMPALA67: If you could only see my tape collection. It’s a good song.

Tangerine23: That it is. Let me guess Impala67 is the year and model of your car?

IMPALA67: That it is.

IMPALA67: My Baby.

Tangerine23: Eh, a ’70 Impala is better…

IMPALA67: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Tangerine23: LOL! Touchy about your car huh? Sorry but I’m a little biased on the models there. I have a ’70 Impala parked right outside that is MY BABY.

IMPALA67: Well I accept your apology, and appreciate your choice in models, but I will have to disagree on your year choice. Clearly you are insane.

Tangerine23: Whatever dude. You know we’ve been at this for like 5 hours now…the sun is rising here.

IMPALA67: Where would that be?

Tangerine23: Like I am going to tell you.

IMPALA67: Okay… so I guess you won’t tell me your name then?

Tangerine23: Correct-a-mundo. Give the man his prize…

IMPALA67: And what prize would that be sweetheart.

Tangerine23: Dude, no.

Tangerine23: But seriously, I need some type of sleep. I got a long drive coming up.

 IMPALA67: Yeah, me too. I got another case in the works.

 Tangerine23: Well good luck with it Impala man.

  IMPALA67: Can I talk to you again?

You sat back staring at the screen. It was nice to talk to someone about, well everything. Too often you lied so much about who you were, that you actually started to forget the truth yourself. An internet pen pal…why not? Someone you could just talk to on the road when you found yourself lonely on the road. Someone you could just be yourself with, without consequences.

Tangerine23: Yeah. Goodnight Impala man.

 IMPALA67: Goodnight Tangerine.

Your drive was going to take you at least a day if you didn’t waste time sleeping or eating. There was a vamp nest on the other side of the country that was catching a lot of attention from the media. Of course they had no clue what was going on. They chalked it up to unusual animal attacks, but after a while of hacking into the coroner’s report you had your proof that there was definitely a case.

By the time you reach hour 15 of your drive you couldn’t take it anymore. You needed a break from staring at the same yellow and white lines along the road go by. You decided to check into a dump off the highway to maybe get something to eat and an hour or two of shut eye.

When you finally fed your hunger, you decided to flop on your bed with your laptop to see if there were any new reports of attacks. You had only been on it a minute when you had the pop up notification on the bottom of your screen that IMPALA67 had sent you another message.

 IMPALA67: I’m dragging ass today. How about you? 

Tangerine23: I’m here, that’s as much as I can say.

  IMPALA67: So besides ganking monsters what do you do for fun?

That was the start of it. Your almost 6 hour conversation about everything and nothing at the same time. The two of you exchanging stories about your past hunts, the interesting people you’ve met, and what you did to pass the time by that was often lonely. It was easy to fall into since he understood what the life was like, for once it was like having a friend.

  IMPALA67: Do you ever wish for the apple pie life?

 Tangerine23: You mean the white picket fence, 2 ½ kids, and a dog life?

  IMPALA67: Yeah, normal.

 Tangerine23: I think I bypassed normal a long time ago.

Tangerine23: I don’t know, it’s just not really in the cards. I couldn’t really see myself settling down like that.  

IMPALA67: Yeah, me too.

IMPALA67: I don’t know, I guess it would just be nice to actually share somethings with. You know?

Tangerine23: Yeah, I get it. It’s a lonely life.

IMPALA67: Yeah. I’m lucky I have my brother, but it may be nice to have someone else around.

Tangerine23: …….

Tangerine23: You hinting at something there Impala man?

IMPALA67: No…

IMPALA67: I guess, yeah. Say you and I were to meet tomorrow, what do you think would happen?

Tangerine23: We wouldn’t know.

Tangerine23: Look, I have to catch some sleep now.

You shut your laptop quick to not look at what he could have possibly responded with. The pit of your stomach felt like butterflies were going a thousand miles a second. Meeting him…this stranger. The stranger you met on the internet that you felt so comfortable exposing your true self to. Were you crazy? This was how serial killers find their prey. Humans were the worst monsters of them all. They had too many emotions going on that they usually picked the one that was the strongest. Yours right now bordered on fear and what was that? Infatuation? It had been so long since you had felt like this before. The last time you felt like this it ended horribly. End of your steel blade, horribly. There was no way you would ever let that happen again. You would not let yourself fall down that rabbit hole.

After a couple of hours of sleep you found yourself back on the road once more, picking up speed along the way trimming some time off your journey. You found a crappy motel in town that would make due for your base camp. As long as there was Wi-Fi and a bed you were set.

You pulled out your laptop to check out anything that could be found about the town, local hang outs, abandoned houses, the kind of places that screamed nest. You noticed a lingering message icon on the bottom of your screen. It was probably him. You hesitated before clicking on it to read what he said.

IMPALA67: Sorry if I had freaked you out. I just think you are a pretty interesting person, if you don’t want to talk to me anymore it is fine, I get it. Take care of yourself Tangerine.

Ugh! How could this guy be so sweet and understanding? He was literally making you sick to your stomach now, mostly from the guilt that you just shut him out so quickly. This was just an internet friendship. Two hunters shooting the shit. What was the harm really in that?

You stared at his message for quite a while, contemplating your words. You didn’t want to lead him on, but the last couple of days felt so nice. Being able to talk to someone else. Someone who got it. Got you.

Tangerine23: No, it’s fine. I had just really needed sleep.

You went to go and grab a beer from the 6 pack you bought earlier when you heard the computer chime with another message. You sat yourself back into the dusty chair in front of the screen to read the message.

 IMPALA67: I get it. Hell I needed sleep too.

 IMPALA67: What kind of case are you working on?

Tangerine23: One that is driving me up the walls right now. I can’t find the link anywhere.

 IMPALA67: Care to share some details? Maybe I can help.

 Tangerine23: And have Mr. IMPALA swoop in on my case? No thanks.

 IMPALA67: Alright then. The cliff notes.

 Tangerine23: Something alive killing a whole bunch of people.

 IMPALA67: Well that really narrows it down lol.

Tangerine23: Small town with very little suspects.

IMPALA67: Small towns usually mean small town bars. Everyone knows everyone in them. That’s where I would probably start. If anything I’m sure you could use the drink during your investigation.

Tangerine23: You have no idea.

IMPALA67: I would try that first before running around crazy into abandoned buildings. You don’t know what you will walk into.

 IMPALA67: I know you will disagree with me, but having back up isn’t a crazy idea.

 Tangerine23: I’m good on my own. 

 IMPALA67: Just watching out for you.

 Tangerine23: …..

IMPALA67: I mean, I don’t really want to lose this fun pen pal I’ve met. Kind of stubborn, but easy to talk to. Lol

Tangerine23: I’ll be fine. Actually I am going to check out somethings now while I still have a couple of hours.

Tangerine23: Talk to you later.

IMPALA67: You better. Stay safe Tangerine.

You decided to drive around the town for a bit while checking out the locals. This town screamed the white picket fenced life. Hell there was a coffee shop with a huge advertisement for homemade pies that you knew IMPALA67 would love. As he entered your thoughts you tried to shake it off. Got to get your head in the game. A run down bar appeared in the distance as the sun was starting to set. You shrugged while thinking ‘what the hell’. Maybe it did have answers for you in there. It definitely had the beer you needed.

When you walked you there was only a couple of people sitting around the bar. They looked like they were permanent fixtures in this place. You found a stool near the end where your back could be against the wall so you could keep your eyes open for anything strange and suspicious walking in. The bar tender brought you your beer while you just sat back and waited.

About two hours had past when a group of very pale 80’s looking rockers all fumbled in together. Your instincts screamed vampires as they walked to a back corner booth. The son of a bitch was right. A tall brunette man with a leather jacket and torn jeans led them in. He was definitely the leader of the group. He was going to be the prize fight tonight.

You found yourself watching them carefully, noting their antics as they interacted with one another. Some of the others watched the other bar patrons walk in while showing the hunger in their eyes. They were going to find someone right here, tonight. Out of the corner of your eye you saw someone walking towards you. You reached into your jacket pocket slowly as they drew closer to you, feeling the handle of your machete that hid underneath.

 “Hey there sweetheart.”

You looked over at the deep voice, ready to attack. There stood a tall muscular man with the brightest damn green eyes you had ever seen. He gave you a half smile as he placed his hand on the stool next to you to sit himself down.

 “Get lost buddy,” you snapped.

He stepped back and put his hands up in defense. “Sorry there sweetheart. I just noticed you were sitting here all by yourself. I figured you would want the company.”

 “I’m spoken for buddy,” you lied.

He nodded his head and went to go sit down with a long haired guy who was holding back his laughter. Stupid men. Just then you saw that the vampire leader was starting to motion to the group that they were going to take off. You quickly fixed yourself up as you jumped down from the stool. Show time.

 “Oh, my…” you cried as you “tripped” into the leader. He had caught you and pulled you up to his gaze. “I’m so sorry sugar, I must have had a bit too much tonight. I guess I am a little clumsy.”

 “That’s alright there Darlin,” he replied with the smell of iron lingering in his breath and a malicious smile rising upon his lips. “We can get you home safe.”

 “Well that would be mighty kind of you mister,” you smiled your most innocent smile you could muster. Damn your acting skills were good.

He led you outside by placing his hand at the small of your back, slowly rubbing it back and forth. The others in the group all chattering amongst themselves while displaying devilish grins toward you. You were going to be their dinner, but little did they know they weren’t going to get the chance.

Walking around to the back of the building you slowed yourself a bit, pushing yourself back into the leader’s hand. Were they going to do it here? You turned to face him, as he was licking his lips hungrily. Your hand shot to the inside of your jacket to grab the hidden machete, but the strong force of his hand across your face made you stumble down, hitting your head hard on the ground. You tried to get up quickly, but your vision was foggy along with an intense ringing in your ears. Someone was on top of you now, trying to push their mouth down to your neck as you swung and pushed back with all the strength you could. There was muffled yelling in the distance that you couldn’t make out as you fought your attacker. You managed to push them up just quick enough to feel the hot splatter of his blood across your face. You pushed the headless body off of you while you sat up, rubbing the blood off from your face. Your vision cleared enough to see the guy who had hit on you in the bar with his long haired friend standing above you with machetes in hand. Hunters.

“You alright miss?” The long haired one asked while reaching for you hand to pull you up. You ignored it and pushed yourself to your feet, rubbing your dirty and bloodied hands on your jeans.

“Just peachy,” you replied.

“I’m Sam, this is Dean,” he stated while pointing over to the green eyed flirt behind him.

“Good for you,” you said while pushing yourself past him.

“You were attacked, those things were not human,” he started to say, but you quickly turned to him with a scowl.

“No shit Sherlock,” you sarcastically replied.

“Do you need a ride someplace?” Dean asked while watching you look around to where you parked.

“No, asshat, I got it,” you said while collecting your bearings. You walked away angrily at them, but it was really mostly at yourself. How stupid could you have been to let them get a one-up on you. That was almost bad. You had really cut it too close that time. If it hadn’t been for the two guys showing up, you would have been the main course. You got into your car and punched the steering wheel releasing your frustration on it.

“Son of a bitch.”

After taking a much need hot shower, you passed out in your hotel room until early afternoon the next day. Your stomach grumbled that you needed food, and coffee was going to be a necessity to get you through the rest of your day. The small coffee shop in town that advertised the pies sounded like the best choice. After ordering you sat down at a table towards the back that was hidden behind a low wall so you could go through the web to find your next case in peace.

Others were coming in and out as the hours passed, but you weren’t paying attention to them as you searched through the web for anything that looked suspicious. An incoming messaged popped up on the screen that made a smile form across your face.

 IMPALA67: How did the case go?

Tangerine23: Shitty, but it’s all taken care of now. How is yours going?

You heard a familiar ding almost as soon as you hit send, but it wasn’t coming from your screen. You shrugged it off awaiting his reply.

IMPALA67: It was a bit messy but it’s done. A civilian was stuck in the middle of all of it.

Tangerine23: That is always hard when civilians get stuck in the crossfire.

There was that damn ding again right after you hit send on the keyboard. You peaked your head over the wall a bit to see the same two guys from the night before sitting on the other side. The green eyed one typing on the computer in front of him.

IMPALA67: Yeah, she called me an asshat.

Your eyes widened as you read his reply. IMPALA67 was right there. The man you had been fighting feelings for was less than two feet away from you. A wall only dividing the truth. You watched him as he happily took a bite of apple pie while waiting for your response. This was it, you could fall down the rabbit hole or run away.

Tangerine23: Enjoying your apple pie?

You quickly and quietly packed up your stuff to sneak out the back, away from his sight as the nervousness hit you while tapping the send button. What had you done? You didn’t even stick around to see him staring at his screen in confusion while also looking around the shop to see if any one there could be you.

As you walked out you saw it, the sleek black ’67 Chevy Impala. You ran your fingers over her hood while appreciating her beauty. She was gorgeous. You leaned up against her and pulled out your phone to get to the messenger app, Sam and Dean walking out at the same time. Dean had a look of furry on his face that someone was on his baby as he stomped over but you just held up one finger while typing, stopping him in his tracks. You then held out your phone’s screen for him to read. He furrowed his eyebrows while leaning down his face to read it, the shock rising up in his face as he reread what it said.

Tangerine23: Hello IMPALA67.

He looked up with a shine in his green eyes. A smile growing so wide that every line in his face became deeper in pure happiness.

               “My Tangerine.”

[speakfriendaandenter]

Hey Arnold!, and why it’s still important today

Less than a year ago my fiancee and I took to rewatching Hey Arnold! for the first time in YEARS to prep for The Jungle Movie. Having been obsessed with it when I was a kid, I knew the show like the back of my hand, so I went through and made a “best of” list of episodes, and we watched those.

Aaaand immediately went back to the beginning and watched ALL of them.

AAAAND went back AGAIN because revisiting this show has been so fun for me, and it just puts me in a good, good place. Since this (eternal) marathon began, I’ve wanted to do a big ol’ overview of the show itself, and why it’s important. It’s very diverse, and from a time when that really wasn’t what kids’ shows were striving for like they are today. There are tons of characters of color, different religions, sexualities, social classes, etc, and I kind of need this show to get the love and attention it so deserves. It’s really kinda gone unloved for a long while now (which is understandable, it’s been off the air since 2002), and I just know it’d be a huge deal if more people knew/remembered how inclusive it was. I’m kicking myself for not writing this sooner, but I’m holding out hope for Nick to greenlight a new series, and my dearest wish is that I can remind people of this wonderful, thoughtful show, and get it the attention it deserves.

Hey Arnold! is FULL of amazing characters and stories, so BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP, THIS GON’ BE A LONG ONE.

| City life, poverty, & crime |

At it’s core, Hey Arnold! is a show about inner city kids, their school, and how they go about their daily lives. I did some research for this (believe it or not lmao), and besides Sesame Street, there is no other media geared toward kids that touch on this. That’s insane to me. And while Sesame Street is fantastic, it tends to steer on the positive side of city life. Which is great!! However, Hey Arnold!, being written for an older audience, isn’t afraid to show the not-so-pretty side of things as well. Violence, crime, theft, pollution, and poverty are ALL covered in more than just a few episodes. We saw a lot of this right off the bat in the first episode, “Downtown as Fruits”.

As for violence, in the episode “Mugged”, Arnold is jumped on his way home one evening, and takes self defense lessons from his Grandma.

And it’s not the last time Arnold, or other characters are mugged. It’s just something they deal with, something they have to learn to protect themselves from. And sometimes, they can’t.

They don’t shy away from poverty within the city, either. Multiple characters are shown to be very poor, and with the exception of two episodes in the whole series (Lila in her debut episode, “Ms. Perfect”, and Sid when he wants to impress a rich classmate and is too embarrassed to have him over at his own home, “Arnold’s Room”), it’s never really shown as a bad thing, or even as a defining character trait. It just is.

Even our title character lives in a boarding house run by his grandparents, inhabited by tenants of very little means. The building itself is always needing repairs, the tenants almost never have their rent on time, and they really don’t shy away from how dingy some of the rooms are there (pictured above, bottom left).

But again, all of this just is. It’s never portrayed as a bad thing, and none of the kids care much about it. Of course there’s Rhonda, the snooty, rich girl stereotype, but even she has a handful of episodes where she grows as a character and is repeatedly called out for having a classist attitude. In the end, all of these kids care about each other and never give a second’s thought to each others’ social class.

| Diversity & inclusiveness |

I’m putting the rest under a read more cut so no one murders me for clogging up their dashboards :’)

One of the most wonderful things about this show is how diverse the cast of characters is. Especially being that in the 90′s, it wasn’t something shows were expected to have, but they did it here anyway.

Our primary character of color is, of course, Gerald Johanssen, Arnold’s best friend and all-around cool dude. He’s the star of a good amount of episodes, and even when one focuses on Arnold, he’s almost always right there next to him. With Gerald comes his family as well, consisting of a little sister, older brother, his mom who cashiers at a corner store, and his father who’s a businessman and Vietnam veteran, ALL OF WHOM have distinct personalities and stories, and the lot of them are portrayed just like any other family on tv.

Next would be Phoebe Heyerdahl, the soft-spoken smartest girl in class, and Helga’s best friend. She’s half Japanese on her father’s side, and if you pay attention, her and Gerald have a thing going on, which is sO freaking cute.

Phoebe is also super important because she’s the only person in the show who really knows and understands Helga. She’s always there to support her, listen to her, and guide her when she can. However, Phoebe does have a handful of episodes to herself, and we even touch on how being the over-achiever in class isn’t always a good thing, and can be damaging to children if they feel like they need to be the best. It’s a super important lesson for kids to learn.

If I gave a paragraph to EVERY single character of color in this show we’d literally be here all day, so I’m gonna finish off with my personal favorite, Mr. Hyunh. A middle-aged Vietnamese man who resides in Arnold’s boarding house, Mr. Hyunh is one of the best adult characters in the show. In fact, one of the. single. best. episodes of the entire show, “Arnold’s Christmas” revolves entirely around him, and how he was separated from his only daughter during the Vietnam War. Holy shit, right? I could go on and on about that episode on its own (there’s a reason why it’s one of the most well known episodes), but I’ll put a cap on it there. Mr. Hyunh has the starring role in a number of other episodes, and he’s always great. He’s funny, cares deeply about Arnold and the other boarders, and is genuinely happy where he is.

But do we stop at diversity where race is concerned? NOPE. This is a show for literally everyone. Gosh, it’s hard just to even figure out where to start.

How about Harold? He’s not only Jewish, but there’s an entire episode it,  (”Harold’s Bar Mitzvah”), and he’s shown to be very close with his mentor, Rabbi Goldberg.

We have three characters with dwarfism. Ernie Potts, a boarder at the Sunset Arms, and Big Patty’s mother and father. How freaking cool, right? Patty’s parents are scarce in the show, unfortunately, but are extremely caring and supportive of their daughter. And yet again, it’s never brought up, it’s not a defining trait, it’s not a big deal. They’re just regular people.

As far as LGBTQ representation, a little while after the show was cancelled, show creator Craig Bartlett revealed that the kids’ school teacher, Mr. Simmons, is gay. In “Arnold’s Thanksgiving”, we see his partner, Peter, and we see the two of them together in “The Jungle Movie” as well. And, though not explicitly shown onscreen, Craig has said that Eugene Horowitz, an overly optimistic classmate of Arnold’s, is gay as well.

| Helga Pataki, abusive households & mental health |

You may have noticed that I’ve gone this entire thing without breaking down sobbing about Helga. Ohh, don’t you worry, we’re almost there!

I could be wrong, but I think one of the most well remembered aspects of this show, even by people who haven’t seen it in years, is that Helga’s family is really messed up. Her mother, Miriam, is always passed out drunk on the kitchen counter or behind the sofa, and her father, Big Bob, is always calling her by the wrong name and forgets she even exists most of the time. Then of course there’s Olga, her “perfect” older sister who means well, and cares about Helga more than their parents do, but ultimately cares more about her self image.

Sure, each of them get a few episodes where they get called out on their behavior and they (kinda) redeem themselves, but at the end of the day, they’re always right back at it. If I had a talent for it, I could SERIOUSLY write an entire thesis on Helga’s family’s dynamic in this show, but I’m going to (try to) keep it brief.

The Pataki household is a very real, very poignant depiction of emotional and mental abuse that we just do not see in cartoons, or anything geared towards a younger audience. Like I said, we have the odd episode or two where Helga will bond with one or both of her parents or her sister, but things never truly “get better”. Given the significant age gap between her and Olga (who’s in college while Helga is in the 4th grade), it’s suggested that Helga was probably an accident, and the catalyst of her parents’ unhappiness. In “Magic Show”, Helga goes through an “It’s A Wonderful Life”-type dream sequence, but backwards. Arnold makes her disappear forever in a magic trick, and the entire world is better off without her, including her parents, who are happy, fulfilled, and affectionate with each other. IT’S REALLY MESSED UP, GUYS.

And this, ALL of this, is one of two reasons why her crush on Arnold works. In a lesser show, Helga’s obsession with Arnold would be creepy, and her dependence on him would be a weakness to her character. However, we eventually find out that where her family failed her at every turn, Arnold was the first one to not only notice her, but show her kindness.

And in the end, no matter how much she teases him and bugs the shit out of him (which are just defense mechanisms to begin with), she always, always puts him first. Every single chance she gets, she does the right thing for him.  Helga’s feelings for Arnold work so well because she truly cares for him. Of course her closet shrine and dozens of books of poetry are over the top, but so is Helga. She’s loud, abrasive, crude, but above all else, she’s fiercely loyal, passionate, and intelligent. And, more than anything, she just wants Arnold to be happy. That’s real love, folks.

My personal favorite episode of the entire show is “Helga On the Couch”, where Helga goes to see a psychologist due to her abrasive behavior. This episode is so so so important, you guys. It was really the first piece of media I saw as a kid that not only explained what therapy even was, but painted it in an extremely positive light. At first, Helga is mortified to have to go, and her parents don’t help the situation at all. Not only do they disapprove, but Big Bob is angry with her for being selected for therapy. He says that it’s embarrassing, and actually warns Helga not to tell the psychologist anything that might out them as abusive.

However, Phoebe assures Helga that therapy is not only good, but perfectly normal, even for kids their age.

And throughout the session, Helga opens up about her family, why she’s so defensive, how she feels about Arnold and why, and feels so much better at the end of the episode. I hate that the show had to end after this season because I would die for more episodes about Helga and her sessions with Dr. Bliss.

Not to mention we get one of the best bits of dialogue in the entire series omfg:

Again, this is SUPER IMPORTANT for kids to see. This episode told us that mental health is JUST as crucial as physical health, and took every bad opinion about therapy and stuck a boot in its ass. It’s GOOD, it’s NORMAL. I can’t say enough about how much this episode meant to me as a kid, and still means to me today.

I seriously have to stop myself from going on for 500 years about Helga and why she’s not only the best character on the show by a fuckin’ landslide, but one of the THE best female characters in anything. Ever. I think I’m going to put a pin in that, and hopefully get to writing a post just about her. The point is, she is an exceptionally written character, and super important for kids to see, to be able to relate to. She’s heavily flawed, but is infinitely loyal for those she cares about. She’s extremely complex, hilarious, interesting, and deeply sympathetic. I LOVE HELGA PATAKI SO MUCH DON’T TOUCH ME, GOD. 

| Criticisms & wrap-up |

I’m gonna try and end this here before it turns into a novel, but there is still SO MUCH going on in this show that I could talk about. If anyone wants to add to this post, please do!! I honestly just need to end this sometime lmaoo.

Now, the show isn’t perfect. Rewatching it in our current social climate turned up a (notedly small) few problematic things. Mostly fat jokes about Harold, and some of the boys will tease the girls, saying they can’t do certain things bc they’re girls, etc. Normally these are small, throwaway lines, but they’re still there, and stand out nowadays. Just a warning! 

The only other criticism I have for the show as a whole is actually the entire plot line with Arnold’s parents, “The Journal”, and most of “The Jungle Movie”. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy it, I think there’s enough heart and depth to make up for, well, how fuckin’ silly it is, but it’s still just that. Silly. This show that spent five full seasons in an urban setting, dealing with very real characters and situations, suddenly veered off into heavy fantasy. It’s jarring, and a little weird. We find out not only that Arnold’s parents were basically Indiana Jones and Lara Croft, but also Arnold was a miracle baby whos birth silenced an erupting volcano, and now he’s seen as some “chosen one” to entire tribe of people living in the jungles of South America.

LMAO WHAT.

No, it’s kind of insane. I think I personally don’t mind it so much because I have a lasting fondness for it from when I was a kid, and like I said, it does have a lot of heart behind it, but it’s very apparent as an adult how ridiculous it is. However, in the show’s defense, its always had episodes about ghosts and all matter of supernatural creatures that just exist and are real in this universe, so it’s not totally out of left field. It’s just odd to have it at the forefront, and I can understand if people don’t care for it.

BUT! The show, at its heart, has always been about kids, their families, and the city they live in. I know if the show was brought back, that’s what they’d get back to.

Also, it’s kind of hilarious if you think about it this way; Arnold is BASICALLY a magical girl who’s super power is solving everyone else’s problems. That’s the show.

And holy cow, speaking of Arnold, I haven’t talked about him at all. SHIT. UH, real quick. Arnold is a good, good, good, gOOD, GOOD BOY. To be extremely honest, Arnold would be boring as hell in a lesser show. He really doesn’t have many flaws, he’s always doing The Right Thing(TM), he’s always optimistic... you get it. But somehow, miraculously, he’s still interesting and fun to watch. He’s just so goddamn good. Like, cinnamon roll levels of good. And he does fuck up once in a great while, but of course, learns from it. He’s definitely your standard male, pre-teen, main character in a world where we have way too many of those, but he’s just so pure that you can’t help but love him.

He honestly works best as a counterpart to Helga, which we tragically get so little of in the show (and why we need a new series dear god Nickelodeon PLEASE), but that’s a whoooole other post for me to write. 

Goddamn okay, I’m wrapping it up. If you haven’t noticed by now, this show means a lot to me. It really touched me as a kid, it was my first fandom before I even knew what fandom was, and revisiting it has been so fun. It’s honestly been helping me get through an extremely rough patch in my life right now. The show more holds up after all these years, and I think it’s even more important now than it ever was. We need more shows like this. 

If you’re interested, the entire series is on Hulu! 

[the-bounce-back]

REALISTIC RESOLUTIONS - 5 TIPS TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS

So, we’re officially a week into the New Year™. How’s that working out for you so far?

Since I’m currently just chilling, packing and waiting to move to London and start my new job, I’ve been left with a lot of time on my hands to reflect on how terrible 2018 was for me - and I refuse to have a year that bad again. I’ve decided that 2019 is going to be dedicated to rebuilding my happiness, confidence and mental health again, and I’ve set my resolutions with this in mind.

Besides giving me a ton of blog ideas, all this time reflecting and planning has challenged me to ensure that my resolutions don’t end up being unrealistic and empty promises to myself, that I end up abandoning halfway through the year. After much umming and ahing, I’ve finally come up with 5 tips to keep in mind that should (hopefully) keep me on track, and I believe that they can be applied to other people’s resolutions, too.

I know what you’re thinking.

“But Liv, I swear you said that New Year Resolutions are a scam? Is your head alright?”

First of all, revelling in hypocrisy is my favourite pastime. One of my biggest flaws is that I give stellar advice to everyone around me, but I rarely apply it to myself - which is probably why my life is a bit (a lot) of a mess right now. Taking my own advice is actually one of my goals for this year, because I’m really very wise (on paper). Also, read my disclaimer.

Secondly, this advice can be applied to any type of goal setting at any time - not just New Year Resolutions. My “New Moment, New Me” mantra from my previous post is still very much applicable, thank you very much.

And finally… the title slaps. Sue me.

With that out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff. 

The way I see it, you basically need four traits/skills to achieve your goals:

1, Patience. 2. Discipline. 3. Motivation. 4. Organisational skills.

Patience helps you trust the process of slowly but steadily getting closer to your goal. Discipline helps you stay on track, even on bad days. Staying motivated makes you remember why you started and helps you envision how proud you’ll be of yourself when you achieve the goal, and organisational skills help you plan, track and reflect on your progress. Combining all four should make you a goal-smashing machine, a force to be reckoned with.

Unfortunately, I barely possess the first four at all. I can fake being patient for a limited period of time, but deep down I want to see results almost as quickly as I have started. When I don’t see any progress, I start hating myself and finding comfort in an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism, thus killing the little discipline I had. And after indulging in said coping mechanism, I feel guilty and fall even deeper into a spiral of self-loathing, ask myself what the point of even trying was and give up - losing every single ounce of motivation.

All healthy and not at all self-destructive ways to deal with failure. Love it.

Luckily enough, I have been blessed with exceptional organisational skills. Seriously. There is little I enjoy more than buying a new notebook or calendar, writing endless to-do lists, writing down future plans and brainstorming. I even have 3 different notebooks for this year to maximise my ~*oRgAnIsInG*~.

This ain’t no game, homie.

The amount of time I spend on devising workout schedules, meal plans, budgets and habit trackers is actually bordering on insane - but I love it. If I could apply this same energy to the other 3 traits, I’d probably have reached my goal weight, have my driving license, have £100k in my savings account and be 100% sober by now. Let’s all laugh together please.

With these incredibly triggering self-attacks in mind, I will now present my 5 tips on how I plan to achieve my goals to bounce back this year, and from now on.

1. Be kind to yourself.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll know that this is the hardest and most important one. Being self-critical isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when it gets to a certain point it stops being helpful and starts being damaging to your mental health. I am probably the queen of beating myself up over minor slip-ups, mostly because they feel like such a big deal at the time. Honestly, the amount of times I’ve literally cried myself to sleep because I skipped a day at the gym, cheated on my diet or messed up at work is really heartbreaking to think about, because it never was that deep in the first place.

We are humans. We f*ck up. It’s okay.

The most important thing here is to acknowledge the mistake, accept it, figure out what needs to be done to prevent it from happening again and get right back on track towards your goal. Try to see the mistakes objectively as minor problems that you need to find a solution to, instead of applying emotion to it and seeing it as a negative reflection on your character. You are not a bad person for messing up. I cannot stress this enough.

2. Understand that certain goals will take time to achieve.

Sweetie, no one in the history of the world has achieved their dream body 2 weeks before their girls trip to Magaluf, no one has ever magically woken up with billions in their bank account, and no one has ever instantly gotten a million subscribers on their recently started YouTube channel.

Things. Take. Time.

As much as we all wish that we could snap our fingers and get everything we wish for, life doesn’t work that way. It takes consistency, hard work, endless motivation and self-discipline to achieve certain things, and it’s important to be realistic. Besides, you know what they say - nothing worth having comes easy.

Instead of seeing time passing as an enemy of progress, try utilising it as a tool to determine the logistics of achieving your goals. Devising a realistic timescale detailing the what, where and when of the different stages of my goals has worked wonders for me in the past for smaller projects, especially when I was in uni. Why I haven’t applied this to my adult life yet is a mystery that will remain unsolved, but I am definitely going to apply this to my larger goals from now on.

3. Set milestones or miniature goals to keep you motivated while working towards your “big” goal.

I think this is especially helpful for goals that are focused on something numerical, for example losing a specific amount of weight, going a specific amount of days without drinking/smoking or saving a specific amount of money. Being able to celebrate how far you’ve come since the beginning is equally as important as focusing on how much further you have to go - if not more. It provides boosts of motivation along the way.

In theory, that is. I think this is going to be challenging for me because when I’ve tried it in the past, I’ve ended up putting even more pressure on myself for not reaching the milestones in a timely manner - leading me to throw all my toys out of the pram like a spoilt brat, and ultimately giving up on the goal altogether. However, this time around I intend on applying Tip 1 to my miniature goals as well, so you know...hopefully it works out. We’ll see.

4. On your off days, remember why you started.

Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. Everyone has bad days where everything just feels pointless and like nothing is even worth putting energy into. Maybe you’ve cheated on your diet for the third time in a week, or spent money you promised yourself you were going to save, or been unable to turn down a drink despite getting close to being a whole month sober (P is for projection!). Chances are, you feel very disappointed in yourself and start questioning whether or not you’re actually serious about this life.

This is where forcing yourself to remember why you started is imperative, because it really could be the only thing standing between moving past the slip up and losing your motivation, leading to you giving up completely. If you’ve been regularly tracking your progress, use this as a reminder of how far you’ve come. Also, refer back to Tip 1 again. Sure, holding yourself accountable for your actions is important, but that doesn’t mean you now have to fully cancel yourself just because of one bad day.

More time you’ve even come further than you think, so reflecting on your journey up until you messed up is definitely a good idea.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

For me, this mostly applies to my fitness goals and how far other people in my age group have come in life. I used to spend so much time on social media scrolling through endless pictures of people that “have their sh*t together” - with their perfect bodies, perfect relationships, perfect engagement rings, perfect baby scan photos, perfect homes… you get the point. All it ever did was make me feel like crap about myself and like I somehow was too far behind in life, or somehow inferior to my agemates. Because we all know that having a perfect life online makes you superior to everyone else.

To be clear, I’m obviously joking. Once you understand that everyone’s journey is different, and that your own blessings will come when the time is right - you will be so much more at peace with yourself. Minding your own business and channelling all your energy into bettering yourself (for your own benefit!) is extremely invigorating. With this in mind, you should also ensure that the goals you are setting are solely for the betterment of yourself, and not to compete with others (I’ll definitely be writing a post on this at some stage, so… stay tuned and that).

So, there you have it. My 5 tips on how to achieve your goals with your sanity and mental health intact. At the end of the year, maybe I should revisit this post and reflect on how the tips worked out for me in achieving my goals? Perhaps I can reflect on how much better my patience, discipline and motivation has become?

If not, well...hopefully it can help you. If it did, let me know so I can feel better about putting all this energy into giving yet more advice that I didn’t apply to myself. Good luck!

Love,

Liv

[asagimeta]

I don't know if you are the right person but I had a curiosity why is that a lot of actors decided to leave TW? I've never noticed this like at all in other shows.. does it happen often? And even about deaton who stars in two shows together. . I mean is it normal? Or i just noticed because i like reading all the meta ahahha btw you're all amazing!!! Love reading all those things i don't notice even in a million years ahahha

You, my dear @himawarililith , are spectacular!!  Thank you so much, we really appreciate it!!!

The answer is kind of complicated because there are alot of different ways it can be veiwed, so I’ll break it down into small parts

It IS possible for someone to have a regular or recurring role in two different shows at the same time, such as Seth Gilliam being in both Teen Wolf and The Walking Dead at once, Sarah Paulson did this in 2015 when she did both American Horror Story and The People VS OJ Simpson, but if they have a fairly big role in both then there’s probably a good chance that one role will be reduced in favor of the other (like, again, Deaton being reduced in favor of Gabriel, Sarah took a slightly reduced role in AHS as Sally in favor of the starring role in OJ as Marcia Clark) unless you get a really unique thing where both shows have very different filming schedules and don’t overlap at all, but that’s kind of hard to come by simply by law of averages, what’s more common is to have a starring role in both a TV show and a movie or movie franchise at once, and in fact, Dylan O'Brien is almost famous for it, he films both the Maze Runner series and Teen Wolf at the same time and has been for about three years, in 2014 he filmed Teen Wolf, The Scorch Trials, AND Deepwater Horizon all in one year and had a starring role in ALL. THREE. But that’s extremely rare because you have to have the energy and the stamina of a freaking buffalo to do all that work, keeping in mind that all three projects were high-energy and required alot of physically demanding work, often including stunts (this is a good reason why Dylan is rising as a star the way he is, he takes on an insane amount of work) However, that doesn’t mean that the general rules don’t still apply, in 2016 he had to take a MAJOR step back for Teen Wolf due to filming The Death Cure, wich resulted in a pretty bad injuery and took him off of work for several months, directly after healing he filmed American Assassin- as the leading role again- Teen Wolf, and now is back on The Death Cure, all in the course of several months, Dylan is an extreme case but actors do often do movies wile they star in major franchises, Evan Peters from American Horror Story also plays Quicksilver in the X-Men franchise, Norman Reedus is one of the stars of The Walking Dead and last year filmed TWD, did two movies, and opened a freaking resturaunt (he and Dylan are obviously drinking the same energy drink) So the answer is kind of yes and no, wile it’s normal for actors to take on other work, having two regular roles on two different shows at the same time IS pretty uncommon

Fun fact though: Melissa Ponzio (AKA Melissa) was actually on The Walking Dead too!! Back in season three of TWD she played Karen, who sadly didn’t last the season, this is back around season two of  Teen Wolf I believe, back when they were still filming in Atlanta and had an opposite filming schedule to TWD, wich made things pretty easy for Melissa, who basically wrapped Teen Wolf for the season and then just stayed in Georgia for a few extra months to do TWD, unfortunately ofcourse, Karen was a small role, so the same rule kind of applies to Melissa that it does to Seth

As for actors leaving Teen Wolf… well, part of that is definately bad luck on Teen Wolf’s part, because this kind of overhaul in such a short amount of time is pretty rediculous, if Teen Wolf had been going for something like twelve seasons the way Supernatural has or something, that’d be easier to understand, but with that being said, there ARE actually two pretty good reasons for why Teen Wolf has such constant changes:

1. The network2. Jeff Davis

1. Teen Wolf is on MTV, wich isn’t necessarily a bad thing… but it’s certainly not a  GOOD thing, because MTV’s budget is considerably low, MTV’s budget for a scripted series- especially it’s FIRST scripted series? Definately low, Teen Wolf has a bunch of actors who started out virtually unknown, even though Tyler Posey and Tyler Hoechlin had careers before Teen Wolf, nether of them had alot of stability in those careers- not around 2011 anyway- so a starring role even in a low budget show like Teen Wolf was a great opportunity for them, then you have people like Dylan, Holland, and Crystal, who’s careers were launched with Teen Wolf, and it seems like a good deal.. until something better comes along, and because Teen Wolf is at the bottom of the financial rope, something better is probably going to come along sooner rather than later, two of the best examples are Adelaide Kane- Cora- and Daniel Sharman- Isaac- Adelaide quit Teen Wolf for The CW’s “Reign”, wich she starred in as THE main for four seasons, theCW is MUCH bigger than MTV, and a starring role is MUCH bigger than a recurring role, so for Adelaide, it made financial sense, the same is true for Daniel who jumped off of  Teen Wolf to do another CW show- The Originals, wich he was recurring in for I think two seasons before ditching there too, he left to do a pilot called LFE wich was sadly not picked up

2. Jeff Davis, here’s the BIG reason alot of people leave, and it’s actually because Jeff Davis is a NICE GUY- I mean, all the wank aside, Jeff is totally unlike most showrunners in that he releases his cast from their contracts if they ask him to

TV contracts are pretty simple when you summarize it: The showrunner signs an actor to do a certain number of episodes/seasons/work hours (depending on what kind of show and contract it is) and the actor fullfills it, simple right? So usually if an actor gets half-wa through their contract and something better comes along, they can’t leave the show they’re currently working on to pursue it, they can only pursue it if it DOESN’T interfere with what they’re currently signed to do, and this is where Teen Wolf and Jeff Davis are different, because Jeff lets them out of their contracts to pursue bigger and better things if they ask, this is most noticeable with Crystal Reed, who had a starring contract for Teen Wolf, that means she SHOULD have been secured to stay on Teen Wolf for as long as her contract was for (Dylan’s was through 2016, Crystal’s was probably similar) and maintain her starring role throughout, usually if Crystal had said “Can I leave?” the Teen Wolf lawyers would have pointed to her contract and said “No”, but because Jeff actually isn’t a dick about it, he said “Sure” and released her from her contract, wich is why she was allowed out even though it was unplanned

That’s why you’ll get so many people like Erica and Cora who you think will be there forever and then they’re suddenly gone, because Jeff LETS them go, whereas most shows don’t (not that ALL shows are like that ofcourse, shows like The Walking Dead wich kill charectors like it’s the end of the world- ha- probably don’t have a problem releasing them either, but I digress)

So you have a REALLY lethal combination here of a good actors on a low-budget show, finding better opportunities and being ALLOWED to pursue them, it’s kind of like parking a kid in front of an ice cream truck with your wallet, sure they COULD be responsible and only buy one, but it’s alot more likely that you’re going to be out fifty bucks in less than an hour

For argument’s sake, here’s what I know about the actors on Teen Wolf who have done other jobs and/or left:

-Tyler Posey: Has kept his starring role on Teen Wolf, also did Yoga Hozers in 2014/2015

-Dylan O'Brien: Took the majority of 6A and 6B off due to an injuery that kept him out of work in 2016 and commitments to American Assassin and The Death Cure in 2016-2017 (also filmed The Internship, The Maze Runner, Deepwater Horizon, The Scorch Trials, and a guest spot on New Girl throughout his Teen Wolf time)

-Crystal Reed: Asked for Allison to be killed off- specifically- in 3B as she wished to leave  Teen Wolf because she no longer wanted “to be a 30-year-old playing a 17-year-old”, she specifically asked for Allison to be killed off to “not get fans’ hopes up of Allison returning” (rumors say that this was also a result of her and Daniel Sharman having a bad break up) Returned to play the role of Marie Jean in 2015

-Holland Roden: Has kept her starring role in Teen Wolf

-Tyler Hoechlin: Asked for a “reduced role” past season four so he could “pursue other projects”, has repeatedly said that he’s not opposed to returning to Teen Wolf “if they give Derek a good reason to come back”, HEAVILY speculated to return for 6B, has done upwards of six movie roles since Teen Wolf and guest-starred as Superman on Supergirl, has several upcoming roles as well (way to go Hoechlin!)

-Colton Haynes: Left Teen Wolf in 2012, asking for Jackson to be “Written off with a chance of returning”, due to a combination of his mental health and feeling the enviroment of Teen Wolf wasn’t suited for him, went on to play Roy Harper on Arrow for two seasons, has doen commercials and movie roles since, he’s CONFIRMED to return to Teen Wolf for 6B

-Daneil Sharman: Left Teen Wolf in 3B, asked to “leave the role open” for a possibility of his return, reasons of his departure were never explicitly stated although his break up with Crystal Reed is suspect, went on to play Kole Mikkelson on The Originals and have a dropped pilot called LFE filmed for CBS

-Adelaide Kane: Only played on Teen Wolf for 3A after landing the starring role of Queen Mary on theCW’s “Reign” for four seasons

-Arden Cho: Left Teen Wolf against her will in 2016, she posted on her social media that it was not her choice to leave and that after a reduced role in 5B she asked if she would be needed in 6A and was told no, Arden seems very upset about how she was treated in regards to her being written out of Teen Wolf and has epxressed that Kira is extremely close to her heart and she’d be willing to play her for as long as possible, it’s unclear why she was written out, other than the fact that Arden was generally treated poorly throughout the series, especially in season five, wherein she had scenes cut without knowing about it and had to “hear from fans that I wasn’t in the episode”, has since worked on her music career

-Shelley Hennig: Has kept her recurring role in Teen Wolf and also has played minor roles in several projects since, as well as the leading role in “Unfreinded” in 2014

-Gage Golightly: Asked to be written off of Teen Wolf in season two to pursue a pilot that was not picked up, unclear if she specifically asked to be killed off but it seems likely as Jeff always leaves the door open whenever he can for returns, has since done several movies and now has a starring role in the show “Red Oaks”

-Sinqua Walls: Was killed off of Teen Wolf in 3A without asking to be, has since been recurring as Sir Lancelot in Once Upon A Time, as well as a leading cast member in two other shows

-Dylan Sprayberry: Has kept his main role on Teen Wolf

-Victoria Morrels: Has kept her main role in Teen Wolf

-Khylin Rhambo: Has kept his main role in Teen Wolf

-Linden Ashby: Has kept his main role in Teen Wolf

-Melissa Ponzio: Has kept her main role in Teen Wolf and had a breif recurring role on The Walking Dead in 2012

-JR Bourne: Left Teen Wolf in 2014 to pursue a recurring role on “Unreal” and returned to Teen Wolf in 2015 to continue his main role, unclear if he asked to be written off during season four or not

-Seth Gilliam: Has kept his recurring role in Teen Wolf wile gaining main role in The Walking Dead

-Ian Bohen: Was originally only going to play Peter for season one, but after getting on so well with everyone else involved in Teen Wolf, the writers decided to keep Peter around for as long as possible, he’s kept his recurring role on Teen Wolf since

-Ryan Kelly: Has kept his recurring role on Teen Wolf

-Jill Wagner: Was also originally going to be a season-one villain only, but liked Teen Wolf so much that she wanted to come back, after hosting Wolf Watch for two seasons she finally reappeared on Teen Wolf in season four

-Cody Christian: Has kept his recurring role on Teen Wolf, despite only originally being slated for season five, like Ian, he was so well liked they decided to bring him back for season six

-Max and Charlie Carver: Asked to be written off of Teen Wolf after 3B to pursue starring roles on an HBO series, Max returned breifly in episode one of season five of Teen Wolf

-Meagan Tandy: Although originally only supposed to be a breif role in season three, Meagan’s role was brought back as recurring in seasons four and five*

*Fun fact: Meagan not only one of the mains in “Unreal” during JR’s season on the show, she’s also the second beauty queen to recur in Teen Wolf, alongside Shelley Hennig

Note that this is obviously not all-inclusive and 10000000000% accurate since I didn’t bother to look any of it up, this is all just stuff that I happen to know off the top of my head, wich is why it isn’t all-inclusive

[thepapermixtape]

A Los Angeles Guide for Rising Musicians: My Journey as a Manager

By: Astrid Hernandez

To become a musician takes talent—maybe that talent is something one works towards over the years, or maybe it’s something they’re born with. Nonetheless, having the ability to make and play music for people is a dream many musicians have, but how easily can it be obtained? Throughout my life, I have met many talented people who wish to pursue a career in music; however, one person who has stood out to me is my friend, Joseph Aleshaiker. I met Joe a little less than a year ago, and right off the bat his charisma and determination to pursue a career in music was astonishing. Having been playing music since he was nine years old, Joe brings together rock elements inspired by bands such as Muse, Queen, and Nirvana while incorporating the Spanish flamenco style guitar to create a hauntingly beautiful sound.

In the couple of months before school ended last year, Joe wanted to get even more serious about his music and decided that over the summer he was going to perform as much as he could. However, as a previous performer he knew just how hard it can be to get gigs. Up until this point I was giving Joe small bits of advice here and there on his sound, merchandise, how he desperately needed a website, and places I’d come across that were offering gigs. Seeing his passion radiating through him, I decided to take  on the challenge of being Joe’s manager over the summer and help him get gigs. I figured if a person with no ties to the industry could help a musician perform in front of crowds, then anyone who’s willing to put in the work can do so as well.

With a determined mindset, I notified Joe of my plans and began my journey as a manager. I remember first thinking, “How am I going to do this?” I didn’t know any places that would have musicians come in to play live music. To be quite honest, I was very lost at first, but as time went by it became easier. When I first started I dedicated around six hours a week to solely researching coffee shops, restaurants, and bars that offer live music. By the end of the summer, I was dedicating around two hours a week to the task, simply because I knew exactly what to do to find what I needed. One of the first gigs I found for Joe was a small one at The Republic of Pie in North Hollywood. I remember attending and seeing the 20 people sitting near the stage watching Joe as he played—it was nowhere near a large stage or a full-on concert, but it was a very close and personal gig. We all enjoyed some good food and great music, and that’s how it went for a while.

When I first started sending Joe gigs I wasn’t doing him much of a favor by sending him bigger venues such as Hotel Café. We received rejections and silence from many places. I could occasionally see how it affected Joe, but this only made me more determined to find him places that would give him a yes. However, rejection comes in different forms—a simple silence is more bearable than an email saying, “No thank you, we’re not interested”, and an email is more bearable than performing somewhere three times only to then have them tell you they wouldn't like to have you back. Unfortunately, Joe went through all of these forms of rejection, standing strong through the first two, but having the last form take a toll on him. Hearing someone tell him they wouldn’t like him to return lowered his self-esteem as a musician and caused him to make the decision that he needed a short break from performing. Rejection is a stepping stone all musicians have to stumble upon as a point in their careers, and it’s okay to let it hurt—it’s even okay to take a break, as long as you come back stronger.

Joe ended up playing at Holy Grounds in Pasadena, Tony’s Deli in Anaheim, Nite Light in LA, and The Mint in LA over the course of two months leading up to one of his favorite performances at 626 Night Market.  As a person who attends 626 Night Market nearly every year, I knew that the musicians were given actual stages and tend to draw fairly large crowds. I am almost always a person in one of those crowds supporting rising musicians. That day Joe was on an actual stage five feet off the floor looking down at his crowd rather than straight at them like he was used to. His experiences with his smaller gigs had led up to this, and he killed it. With a one hour set and an insane amount of energy, he did his set and radiated energy every second he was jumping around the stage. This is as good as it gets, we thought, a good way to end the summer. However, prior to summer starting I had Joe audition for This is Bruin Life, a huge show at the beginning of the school year designed to welcome UCLA students back to school. When he was accepted to perform in the show, Joe realized he was going to be playing in Pauley Pavilion a little later than he should have. Joe originally thought what he auditioned for was a much smaller event than what I knew it was. So, when This is Bruin Life arrived, Joe performed in a nearly full stadium with around 7000 people in attendance. It was after this performance that we realized this was where we wanted to end the summer. From coffee shops to stages to stadiums, the three month journey in which I set out to be a manager was complete, and the progress Joe made in his performances spoke for themselves.

This summer made me realize just how rough performers have it in LA. While it seems like a huge city, the options for performers aren’t as abundant. Every other week I’d find myself looking into towns on the outskirts of LA because, in reality, there aren’t many places that give rising musicians a chance. I almost always emphasized how I could only find a couple venues at times. A typical email I’d send Joe would read along the lines of

Hi Joe Joe,

I only found 3 more venues this week but hopefully, they end up working out for you! One is more of a music festival and two are venues, so let me know what they say.

Echo Park Rising : Locations Vary - Check out the website before you sign up. This is more of a festival type of thing.

Hi Hat LA : Located: 5043 York Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90042 Some free shows, some you have to pay for, so shoot them an email and see what they say. Oh, check out the website too. BOOKING@HIHAT.LA

Resident : Located: 428 S Hewitt St, Los Angeles, CA 90013 Some free shows, some you have to pay for, same as Hi Hat. “If you’re interested in booking a show at Resident, please emailbooking@residentdtla.com ”

As always Best wishes,

Almighty dictator

the girl with anger issues

who's also stressing over life... Astrid!

Since we were such close friends, I’d make sure each email had something funny incorporated in it, to which Joe would reply to in a couple of days with a hilarious comment and an update on which places said yes. I’d note every yes on a Word doc in which I’d keep all his potential gigs listed. I truly became invested in this experience.  This whole journey truly proves that it is completely possible to perform in front of crowds without the help of a label or a professional manager—all you need is a laptop and a couple of hours to spare. Reach out to other musicians and see how they land their gigs. What is most important is that you have the passion and determination to play no matter how many people are in front of you or how big your stage is.

While I may have been the one emailing Joe on a weekly basis with places he could play at, he got them to take a chance on him based on his talent. When this summer came to an end, so did my job as a full-time manager. However, Joe’s job as a performer hasn’t ended in the slightest. He is still performing and giving his all at following his dreams to make them a reality, pushing through the low moments when they come and performing and enjoying the highs. His next gig is on the 24th of October at the Fowler Museum at UCLA.

Want to play some gigs yourself? Try out these venues I found during my experience as a manager:

Republic of Pie – NOHO

“If you are interested in performance opportunities send an email including a description, availability, and sample links to LiveMusicMonday@gmail.com” – joe got a gig here

Holy Grounds – 5371 ALHAMBRA AVE

“You may contact Mark via email markholygrounds@gmail.com to book a spot on a future date. **Please include links to your music and/or social media as we do promote musicians on our platforms*  -joe got a gig here

The Mint LA : Located: 6010 Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90035  (Joe got a gig here)

so far sounds : it’s always a different venue!  

peppermint club : located: at 8713 BEVERLY BLVD. WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA 90048

The Viper Room : Located: 8852 Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069                       

Nite Light: Located: 8967 Sunset Blvd West Hollywood, CA 90069

For Booking Contact: NiteLight@radianceinternational.org  (Joe got a gig here)

hotel cafe : Located: 1623 1/2 N. Cahuenga Blvd. Los Angeles, Ca 90028

The Fifth : Located: 1650 S Harbor Blvd g, Anaheim, CA 92802

send them an email. BOOKMYBAND@THEFIFTHOC.COM

626 Night Market : Located: It’s at the Santa Anita race track – Joe got a gig here

Zebulon : Located: 2478 Fletcher Dr, Los Angeles, CA 90039

“For booking inquiries, please send links to music and dates of interest to: booking@zebulon.la Thank you for contacting us. We appreciate your submissions. We receive many inquiries about performing at Zebulon. Please be patient. Please no phone calls. Thank you!”

Echo Park Rising : Locations Vary

Check out the website before you sign up.

Hi Hat LA : Located: 5043 York Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90042

BOOKING@HIHAT.LA

Resident : Located: 428 S Hewitt St, Los Angeles, CA 90013

“If you’re interested in booking a show at Resident, please email booking@residentdtla.com ”

Kibitz Room : Located: 419 N Fairfax Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90048

“For booking inquiries please contact cantersdeli@gmail.com”

Molly Malones : Located: 575 S Fairfax Ave, Los Angeles, CA

[dkehoe]

I will admit that I wish I had a friend, sibling, co-worker, (husband?) who shared my love for books and would consider blogging with me. There are a few blogging partnerships that I’ve run across and have even featured a couple on my blog. The partnership on the blog Bookidote seems to be a little different and wonderful.  Trang and Lashaan definitely share a love for books but they don’t necessarily love the same genre’s. They each have their own platform, yet share the same space. I LOVE that!

I was lucky enough that both Trang and Lashaan had the time to answer my 10 questions. Let’s see what they’ve got to say!

Blogging is universal and even though we inhabit the same community, we don’t always live in the same country. What country do you live in?

We both live in Canada, Montreal to be exact !

What is the view outside your front door?  

Trang: It’s a pretty basic view hahah not like the beach or anything.

Lashaan: I live in a residential neighbourhood with a bunch of apartment buildings next to one another. I can’t say it’s the prettiest view you could ever land upon! Or maybe I’m lying, and I just don’t want the world to know where my Batcave is at. :O

Most blogs have a fun story of origin. Please share the story behind your blogs name and/or why you started blogging.

Lashaan: It was the day I had suggested to Trang the idea of reviewing books in French because of her love for literature, but also writing. Knowing she had quite an amazing writing skill, I believed the idea of writing reviews in French and sharing it on a blog would have been an amazing public journal for her. The world would have been in awe at what she was able to convey. She then however wanted me to tag along and start an English book reviewing blog. While my own reading speed was pretty questionable compared to hers, I still found the idea exciting, especially since I looked at it as an opportunity to also review the little comic book collection I had started to build. That is how Bookidote came to life and grew to change our lives permanently! The idea behind the name is pretty simple. It combines “book” with “antidote”.

A definition for it was also once conceived and shared with everyone back in the day. Check it out:

Bookidote (\ˈboo-ki-ˌdōt\) : Lashaan and Trang’s creation. It is a commitment that holds countless ideas in one word. Three syllables. Nine letters. These two squandered souls firmly believe that books aren’t just a pastime for intellectuals or a mandatory purchase for your studies. Bookidote is so much more. It marries books with antidotes, knowledge with cure, imagination with elixir. It refers to the ability that books withhold in swallowing you into a boundless universe and encouraging you to live a unique and different adventure every time you crack open a book. Bookidote acknowledges the fact that books can help you explore ideas, stimulate your imagination and live innumerable lives.

Describe where you write your blog. 

Trang: I prefer writing my posts in my office or even in coffee shops. When I’m on a rush, I also do it in the subway hahah I always have the WordPress App to edit and finalize my drafts.

Lashaan: Fairly simple. I can’t write my reviews anywhere other than on my desktop computer. It’s just much easier there to get my mind to pour out all the thoughts I want to convey about anything. I currently operate on a dual monitor setup. I sometimes let myself believe that I’m a much more realistic version of Batman in his Batcave. 😀

Most of us have a stack of books sitting next to our couch or bed waiting to be read. What books are in your stack? 

Trang: A bunch of ARCs are waiting for me to get a new bookshelves to put them LOL

(that’s quite a stack! Here’s the Synopsis for only one….)

Bloody Rose by Nicholas Eames

A band of fabled mercenaries, led by the infamous Bloody Rose, tour a wild fantasy landscape, battling monsters in arenas in front of thousands of adoring fans, but a secret and dangerous gig ushers them to the frozen north, and the band is never one to waste a shot at glory . . . even if it means almost certain death.

  Live fast, die young.

Tam Hashford is tired of working at her local pub, slinging drinks for world-famous mercenaries and listening to the bards sing of adventure and glory in the world beyond her sleepy hometown.

When the biggest mercenary band of all, led by the infamous Bloody Rose, rolls into town, Tam jumps at the chance to sign on as their bard. It’s adventure she wants – and adventure she gets as the crew embark on a quest that will end in one of two ways: glory or death.

It’s time to take a walk on the wyld side.

Lashaan: I actually have a shelf dedicated for the books I hope to read. They’re queued up and just waiting for me to find time for them!

(Another HUUUGGGEEE stack! Again, here’s one to sample!)

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Neverwhere is the story of Richard Mayhew, a young London businessman with a good heart and an ordinary life, which is changed forever when he discovers a girl bleeding on the sidewalk. He stops to help her—an act of kindness that plunges him into a world he never dreamed existed.

Slipping through the cracks of reality, Richard lands in the Neverwhere—a London of shadows and darkness, monsters and saints, murderers and angels that exists entirely in a subterranean labyrinth. The Neverwhere is home to Door, the mysterious girl Richard helped in the London Above. Door, a noblewoman whose family has been murdered, is on a quest to find the agent that slaughtered her family and thwart the destruction of this underworld kingdom. If Richard is ever to return to his former life, he must join the journey to save Door’s world—and find a way to survive.

If you have had a bad day and want to spend an hour reading a book, what is your go to genre or favorite book that will lift your mood?

Trang: My go to genre is Fantasy (in novels and graphic novels as well), I think when I’m sad I just want to escape the ordinary world for a bit. As long as I can find magical fairies, orcs, spells and some magicians, I’m happy. If I’m having a heavy day because a lot work had to be done, I like to entertain myself with some light Young Adult reads. It can go from contemporary or even science fiction.

Lashaan: I am not one to go back and re-read a favourite book even if I love the idea itself. Because of my reading speed and the little time that I have for reading, I tell myself that re-reading will be something I’d do after a huge number of years has passed since my last read (i.e. 5 years or more). But my go-to genre to remedy a bad day or to get a quick read in would easily be comic books.

With Batman as my favourite superhero, I’ve got plenty of stories with him that I can’t wait to check out. I also have plenty of other stories I could visit, some that aren’t about superheroes and some that aren’t comic book series, but just a graphic novel too. Comic books are just so easy to pick up, so fast to read, so easy to enjoy! They aren’t to be looked down upon! Some stories are so powerful, they’d blow you away! 😉

When you aren’t blogging, how do you spend your time? Work, Play, School?

Trang: My typical day in the week goes as follows: I’m working full-time for the National Research Council as an artificial intelligence in neurosciences associate. What the hell does that mean? It’s a lot of things but mostly I manage different research project teams, whenever a new technology can be developed to help the brain or we need to evaluate the functions of the artificial intelligence included in that technology, it passes by me and my team. I also do a lot of conferences and public speaking in different institutions to update people on what’s going on.  Around 6pm I spend my time to go through all my social media platform and manage my blogs (food, book blog and my main Instagram page) and turn to some watercolour painting keep my mind sane. Eating supper with my family or go to the food sponsoring events and then go to gym around 8pm until 10pm. I’m becoming pretty serious in working out now, I recently partnered with my local gym for some branding opportunities as well.  I usually read on my way to work or really late at night.

On the weekend I head out to Ottawa to work at the governmental headquarters and come back to Montreal on Sunday evening. I think because I have a lot projects and networking, people tend to think that I’m always going out with my friends. However since my week is packed, unfortunately, I rarely have time to see them so I tend to invite them to special events and see them like one or twice every year LOL

Lashaan: I work at a police headquarters as a crime preventionist. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a realistic version of Batman. He has guided me through life in ways that no one could possibly grasp! 😀 Alongside that job, I’m also a researcher heading into a doctorate in criminology this fall 2018. As a researcher, I’m contracted on research projects as well as a teacher assistant. It’s safe to say I keep myself pretty busy! Outside of everything work-related, I hit the gym and play basket-ball. Basket-ball is a pretty significant part of my life, although I don’t practice it competitively like some of my friends do. I play it for the fun of the game! I’m also a gamer who enjoys late-night sessions with friends whenever they can. Even though free time for gaming is not easy to come by, I love to stay up to date with the technology and everything that goes on in that world of entertainment! Since the question was about everything outside of blogging, I must sneak in reading! I know, I know. Reading is sort of part of blogging, but man, the amount of reading I put in is insane! It’s hard to go a day without reading. That’s just how life is for me now.

What is your favorite blog post you’ve written?

Trang: Why We Love Psychological Thrillers – I love the research I did for this post. I learned so many things along the way and I get to experience a new format as well.

https://bookidote.com/2018/07/15/why-we-love-psychological-thrillers/ Lashaan : One of my favourite posts would have to be the one about co-blogging: https://bookidote.com/2018/01/06/the-perks-of-co-blogging/

I sort of really enjoyed highlighting the pros and cons of this particular relationship we have at Bookidote and how well it worked for us.

Review-wise, there a couple of reviews that I really loved writing, but the list could go on forever. As someone who loves to put into words his thoughts about the books he reads, I find myself loving every piece I write (maybe 99% of them), even if there will always be a hater among the crowd. An example of a review I really loved writing is for The Black Prism by Brent Weeks: https://bookidote.com/2018/07/19/the-black-prism-by-brent-weeks/

Have you ever met one of your favorite authors? If so, what did you say to them? Looking back, what do you wish you had said instead?

Trang: I met Marie Lu and Leigh Bardugo back in YALLWEST 3 years ago. I asked Marie Lu to write her favourite song instead of signing my book hahah and she did both!

Lashan: Most of my favourite authors have already passed away a very long time ago. I did get to meet a couple  of authors and artists at conventions, and I guess my favourite of them all would have to be meeting the outstanding author of Six of Crows, Leigh Bardugo! As someone who rarely reads Young Adult novels, Six of Crows really blew my mind, and only a couple of YA authors can impress me like that. Meeting her in person was definitely a huge highlight in my life!

I got to see her at YALLWEST in Santa Monica a couple of years ago and I made sure to let her know how much I appreciated her book. Told her that as a researcher in criminology, the amount of research she put into writing Six of Crows merits all the respect in the world. I honestly don’t think I would have changed anything I had said or have anything in particular I would have wanted to say. Maybe I would’ve begged her to turn the duology into a never-ending series. In fact, I haven’t even read Crooked Kingdom yet. I just don’t want that duology to end. I also have super high expectations. The struggle is real!

If you could sit down with an author for a slice of cake and a question,  who is the author, what kind of cake would you serve, and what is the first question you’d ask?

Trang: I would like to sit down with Neil Gaiman while serving tiramisu and ask him what was going on his mind while writing American Gods.

Lashaan:  I’d probably sit with Brandon Sanderson and serve him a molten chocolate cake infused with a significant amount of truth serum. Once he’d had savoured his cake, I’d have asked: “How do you write like that?”

My first thought when reading Trang and Lashaan’s answers to my 10 questions was WOW! Even after the explanation I’m still not sure what an Artificial Intelligence in Neuroscience Associate or Crime Preventionist is and maybe we need to clone these two! Their reading tastes are so diverse and interesting and after getting a peak into their lives I can kind of understand the influences that sway them towards those authors.

What surprised you all the most when reading Trang and Lashaan’s answers?

Have you read any of the books they have on their TBR’s? I’ll admit to having a couple of them on my own, but also and equal mix of never having heard of some of them. Thanks for putting these on my radar!

I really enjoyed their response to my questions. Thanks guys for participating!

If YOU are interested in being featured or know of a great blogger that I should feature, please give me a shout in the comments!

Until next Sunday!

Deb

Blogger to Blogger Series: An Interview with Trang and Lashaan with @Bookidote I will admit that I wish I had a friend, sibling, co-worker, (husband?) who shared my love for books and would consider blogging with me.