#gimme that and I’m set for life

[randomassperson-09artz]

symbiot AU has given me the rottiest of brain rot… anyways all my symbiot AU arts over the collective week

Symbiot AU belongs to @liliallowed

[chazz-is-a-zelda-fan]

i’m not saying that i’m crying at two am i am just saying i’m acutely aware of how dehydrated i am

[bratzforchris]

Prank, C. Sturniolo

Summary: When pranking Chris and having a smart mouth gets you in trouble, you see just how far he's willing to go to get your attitude in check

Pairing: Brat tamer!Chris x feminine reader

Warnings: HEAVY smut, dom/sub dynamics, brat tamer!Chris, reader being the biggest brat in LA, overstimulation, spanking, vibrator usage (partnered), spitting, p in v, rough sex, degradation/teasing

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Save me brat tamer!Chris...brat tamer!Chris save me. In all seriousness though, this is fiction!! Thank you for reading and enjoy some smut ;)

Sunlight filtered through the white, linen curtains of your and Chris’s shared room, slowly bringing you to life after a wonderful night’s sleep. You blinked open your eyes, realizing you were still tightly wrapped in Chris’s arms, both of you naked and tangled in each other’s embrace. Last night hadn’t even been sexual, which was a rather rare occurrence. Sometimes, you both simply enjoyed the feeling of each other’s skin. You couldn’t say that you minded the hold, though. Your boyfriend’s bare chest was soft against your back as he snored quietly, cheeks red with pillow marks and fluffy brown hair fanned out across the sheets. 

You smiled at the angelic sight, running your thumb softly across his cheek before craning your neck to see what time it was. It had to be later than you thought; you were far too well-rested for it to be any earlier than ten am. Sure enough, the clock on Chris’s nightstand had just flicked to 10:15. You knew he had quite the busy day today with running errands for upcoming videos and meeting, so you began to softly scratch your acrylic nails across his scalp in a gentle attempt to wake your lover. 

“Chris, it’s time to wake up, baby.” You whispered softly, feeling smooth, brown curls slip through your fingers. 

Chris groaned, rolling over and stretching. The white sheets were a stark contrast against his tanned skin as yawned and pulled you closer to himself, speaking huskily in your ear. “Gimme five more minutes. What time is it?”

“Time for you to get up.” You sassed back, a cute little smirk on your face. 

“Mmmm, you better watch that smart fuckin’ mouth, baby doll.” Chris mumbled, morning voice gravelly against your skin as he kissed your neck. 

You whined as his lips pressed against your skin, warm and plump. “You know you love my mouth. I seem to recall you saying ‘Oh baby, that feels so good…love your mouth on my cock.’ the other night.” You snorted. 

Chris rolled his eyes, finally letting you go. “You’re gonna get yourself in trouble one day, you know that?” he asked, pinching your bare ass rather roughly as he sat up.

You yelped cutely, tackling Chris against the bed and peppering his cheeks with kisses. “I know. But until then, enjoy it.”

Your boyfriend kissed you back roughly, before setting you back on the bed and standing up, pulling on a pair of gray sweatpants. “I’m going to shower. Get cute while I’m gone.” he winked, tugging on the end of your hair gently. 

You watched as Chris disappeared into the bathroom, humming to himself. You absolutely loved to mess with Chris, enjoying the way his normally bright, blue eyes would darken with lust and the way you could practically get off without him touching you on his rough words and mannerisms. You looked around the bedroom, thinking of ways you could get back at him for that little ‘smart mouth’ comment earlier. An idea dawned on you when you saw your pile of pink, girly clothes laying on the chair in the corner. You had recently cleaned out your storage bin from under the bed, exchanging your winter clothes for summer clothes. Sure enough, you hopped off the bed and peered under the frame, only to see that the space was completely empty. Enough so that you could definitely get under the mattress if you tried. 

You quickly pulled on the silky, white sleep camisole and shorts that you had abandoned at the foot of the bed last night so that the carpet wouldn’t burn your skin. Getting down on all fours, you easily slid under the bed, giggling to yourself as your hair fanned out across the carpet. A while back, Chris had stated in a podcast episode that his most irrational fear was that something was under his bed and would grab his ankles. You had laughed the information off at first, but now seemed like the perfect time to recall it. 

A few minutes later, you heard the shower shut off and tried to suppress your giggles. This wouldn’t work if Chris heard you. You waited until you heard the bathroom door open to extend your arms, ready to pounce. Sure enough, Chris padded into your bedroom and over to his nightstand to grab his everyday accessories of his chain and earrings. You waited to be sure he hadn’t heard you, before lunging your arms out, grabbing his ankles, and screaming “RAHHHH.”

The yelp Chris let out was akin to that of a four-year-old girl. Your boyfriend practically jumped straight in the air, before shaking you off his ankles and roughly pulling you out from under the bed. “What the fuck was that for?” he asked harshly. 

“Gotcha.” You grinned from ear-to-ear as Chris finally pulled you all the way out from under the bed. 

“That wasn’t fucking funny!” Chris protested, but you could see a smirk forming at the corners of his mouth as he looked you up and down. 

“Was so.”

“Was not.”

“Was so.” You giggled, poking his stomach with your pointer finger. 

Maybe it was the comment from earlier, or maybe you were just in the mood to fuck with your dom, but either way, you were getting a rise out of messing with Chris. Bratting was probably one of your favorite things; you loved to push his buttons, seeing just how much you could get away with before he would snap and fuck you into next year. 

“What’s gotten into you this morning, huh?” Chris asked, raising his brow as he moved to the dresser and pulled on his clothes for the day.

“What’s gotten into you?” You retorted. “That scream sure didn’t sound like a grown man. It sounded like my little cousin…she’s three.”

“You better watch that mouth.” he hummed. 

“You watch it. I can’t see my mouth.” You giggled, eagerly awaiting Chris’s reaction. 

The flip was like a light switch. Your boyfriend’s mood had seemed heavy, though teasing. But now, Chris whipped around, stalking towards the bed. “What did you say?” he asked, voice dangerously low. 

“I said you watch my mouth. I can’t see it.” You smiled, crossing your arms over your chest as a pout decorated your lips. 

“I swear to God…” he chuckled deeply, shaking his head. “Strip. Now.”

“No.”

“You strip now or I edge that little cunt so hard you’re gonna wish you never would’ve spoken at all.” Chris stared down at you with stone cold features. 

You slowly looked down at your knees, beginning to strip with a fake aire of humiliation. You were more excited to see what your punishment would be, but you knew that Chris would definitely deny your orgasm if you acted happy about it. Once you had removed all your clothes, you kneeled on the bed, pouting up at him. “This isn’t fair.”

“Sweetheart,” Chris hummed, grabbing your chin roughly. “Considering how you’ve been acting this morning, this is very fair. Now, open,” Your boyfriend gathered just enough of his own saliva to spit in your mouth, holding your chin closed once he had done so. “Let’s see if that fixes that bratty little mouth.”

You smiled as the taste of him consumed you, lighting your nerves with passion and excitement. You waited patiently to see what Chris would do, but his lack of instruction was beginning to make you nervous for what he had in store. Your boyfriend smiled sadistically, reaching into his bedside drawer and pulling out a toy you were all too familiar with. It was a small, pink vibrator that went up to settings so immense they could practically make you cum in seconds. 

Chris sat down on the bed, patting his sweatpants covered lap. “On my lap.”

You blushed, crawling across the sheets and laying yourself across his lap, ass up. You felt Chris’s warm, large hands caressing your backside as they slowly made their way between your thighs, spreading your legs further and further apart. Your boyfriend chuckled as he ran a finger along your damp slit, feeling the way you were already soaking, just from the thoughts of him and what he would do to you. 

The last thing you could comprehend before you were seeing stars was the sound of the toy flicking on, buzzing lightly. Chris held the vibrator against your clit as he stroked your folds, chuckling at the little squeals and whimpers that were already escaping your mouth as you buried your face in his thigh.

“Does that feel good, princess?” he cooed in an almost sickeningly sweet way as he turned the intensity up a notch. “Your pretty pussy gettin’ all wet from being punished?”

You could hardly let out anything more than a little whine, tears pricking your eyes at the overwhelming sensations from the toy and Chris’s fingers working gracefully. “Mhm…uh uh.”

“Awww, what happened to that sass, ma? Cat got your tongue?” he pouted, turning the vibrator up again as he shoved your legs further apart on his lap. 

You whimpered and panted, digging your almond-shaped nails into his leg. “Oh…oh god. Chris, Chris–I need to…” You were a senseless mess as you began to sob, your thighs slick with arousal. 

“You need to what? Use your words, baby doll.” Your boyfriend sneered. 

“Need to cum,” You wailed, shoving your face against his leg and gripping his thigh. Your orgasm had been building in your stomach for a while now, the white-hot energy threatening to push you over the edge. “P…please.”

Chris landed a stinging smack to your ass as he edged you harder before finally speaking. “Go ahead, princess. Cum all over my lap and show me how much you appreciate me treating you like the whore you are.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You immediately let go, your climax washing over you as you came all over the vibrator and Chris’s fingers. Fat tears rolled down your face, simply from feeling soi overstimulated, yet so good. Your boyfriend rubbed your back gently, dropping his rough dom façade as he coached you through your high. Once you had caught your breath, Chris  flipped you over so that you were laying on your back on his lap, looking up at him. 

“You’re going again,” he smiled, almost sadistically. “Gotta make sure that little attitude is properly fucked out.”

Chris tossed you onto the bed roughly, before leaning over and grabbing a condom from his nightstand. In a quick amount of time, he had yanked off his sweatpants and hoodie and rolled the condom onto his throbbing cock. You smiled up at him with doe eyes, wanting to comment, but choosing your physical pleasure over the pleasure of mouthing off. 

“You ready, ma?” he asked, lining himself up with you. 

You didn’t get another chance to speak as he slammed into you immediately, filling you completely. You let out a moan at the feeling of suddenly being full, Chris stretching you to the max. Just like when he had been using the toy on you, your boyfriend was fucking rough. He bucked his hips into you, going harder with each thrust as he pinned your arms to the bed. You were always more sensitive on your second orgasm than on your first, and your stomach was already clenching with the need for release. 

“Gonna…” You whimpered. “Need to cum again.”

Chris ignored you, pounding into you relentlessly. If your head wasn’t hazy with lust, you’d be thanking the universe that Nick was a heavy sleeper and Matt slept with ear plugs, because the sound of the headboard hitting the wall was ricocheting through the room. You could tell that your boyfriend was getting closer to his own climax as he threw his head back with a groan, riding you mercilessly. This was by far one of the best punishments he had ever given you, making you so dizzy with arousal that you couldn’t even think straight to brat. 

“Oh god, baby,” Chris groaned, throwing his head back as he came, filling the condom. “You feel so fucking good.”

You whined and writhed beneath him, arching your back as your lower stomach ached with the need to cum. The feeling of Chris being buried fully inside of you wasn’t helping, either. “Need to cum, please.” You whimpered, on the verge of tears again from the good feelings. 

Chris adjusted himself, still fucking you despite having already came. “Say ‘I’m a little cockslut who can’t control her mouth’ and then maybe I’ll let you.” he shrugged.

You sobbed, fighting the urge to just release. “I–I’m a little…Chris, please.”

“Gotta hear you say the full thing, ma.” he chuckled, riding you in a slower, more sensual rhythm, which just increased the tingling in your nerves. 

“I’m a little cockslut who can’t control her mouth.” You wailed. 

“Good girl.” Chris kissed your forehead as you came, your body writhing with the intensity of your climax. 

You were beyond fucked out by the time Chris pulled out, tying the condom up and throwing it away. Your boyfriend grabbed a tissue from the nightstand, using it to dry your tears as you caught your breath. The rough dom he had been for the scene had completely disappeared, replacing him with the loving, gentle boyfriend he always was. Chris dried your tears, handing you a water bottle. 

“You did so good.” he whispered gently, caressing your cheek as he held the bottle to your lips. 

You smiled softly, eyes glazed over. “I promise I won’t mouth off anymore.”

“I doubt that’s a promise you can keep, baby girl.” Chirs chuckled, massaging over your shoulders and back lightly with a sweet-smelling lotion. 

You pulled him into you as your boyfriend pulled the comforter over your naked bodies. “Mhm. ‘M really tired.”

“You need to rest, ma,” Chris kissed your cheek, pulling you into his body to spoon. “Being a little brat is hard work, huh?”

You nodded with a gentle giggle. “I love you.”

“I love you more, ma. I can promise you that.”

“That prank was hilarious, though.”

“Don’t push your limits, princess.” Chris hummed. 

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @mattsfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxyz @ilovejohnnieg @lovingchrissposts @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @dumpling-to-eat @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @not-phone-guy @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @strnlvr @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @mayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @idek3000hi @runasvengence

note ♡: if you'd like to be included on my taglist, click here <3

[helluvapoison]

Make Me Weak

˚✧₊⁎ The Vees ⁎⁺˳✧༚

warnings: violence

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

˚✧₊⁎ Velvette ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Everything you are she should abhor– and would if it was anyone else— so she doesn’t pretend to understand how you weave into her life so easily. That time is instead spent wondering how the fuck she’s survived both her hellish lives without you

• Velvette always felt she was owed the praise and compliments she got. Receiving them from you was an entirely different type of high to ride. Your candied tone and sickeningly sweet words clung to her like smoke and had her itching for more

• You massage her hands so she has no choice but to surrender her phone, only then does she realize how cramped they’ve become. You sit in her workshop during Hell Week, sending a mellowing wave that relaxes her chaos in the form of a simple thumbs up. You make up for not being on the receiving end of her camera by setting up aesthetic dates for her to capture instead

• Velvette captures your chin, “You put up with a lotta my shit, Dollface. I’m not great at sharing credit, but I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“But I didn’t do anything?”

“You’re my muse, baby. Gimme the word and I can have you on a billboard tonight. Fuck Joanne, the raggetty bitch, I’ll bump her and have you up there for all of Hell to see!”

Your smile falters to a grimace, your eyes telling her what she already knows. Vel doesn’t get why you hate the limelight. This conversation always ends one way and if she hears you say one bad thing about yourself, she’ll tear out her hair. With a sigh, she tucks you back under her arm and kisses the crown of your head

“Fine. I didn’t wanna share you anyways.”

Your light laugh makes her smile again

˚✧₊⁎ Valentino ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Val does everything in his power not to allow you to witness one of his volatile moments. He has a very specific image of you in his mind and to a looser extent, you do too. You’re not prim or naive that you don’t know what he does, but his violent tendencies are something else to behold. You’re too sweet, too pure to completely join his world

• It’s never bothered him before, seeing that look on someone’s face. The one where their eyes go wide in horror because they know exactly what comes next but there’s no telling what would happen if the pedestal Val put you on crumbled because you saw him grabbing a whore by the neck and using them as an ashtray

• Truly, no indulgence he’s ever sampled has come close to taking the edge off him like one of your hugs. Softer than angel wings and more intoxicating than any elixir, you’re euphoria trapped in a sinner’s body

• “I almost feel bad for keeping you to myself,” Val purrs in your ear. He’s been laying underneath you for six minutes and already the shittiness of the day evaporated, “I could bottle and sell you. Make everyone in Hell as happy as I am.”

A nervous, bitter laugh escapes you

“You wouldn’t make much money, Val.”

“I would make millions, corazón” He argues seriously, though he has no intention of sharing you

˚✧₊⁎ Vox ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• The irony is lost on him; someone as soft as you could bring him, an Overlord, to succumb. Below the surface, he’s more insecure than he lets on. He’s perfected the mask of a charming show host, developed it so well that it bleeds into his personality. So much so, that you make him glitch when he gets an inkling of self doubt. Your gentleness makes him weak and it terrifies him, fills him with the urge to push you away but your arms are so inviting that he lets himself be cradled by them. How could he do anything but?

• Rare are the days where he actually feels tired but those are the days he seeks out your affections. To him, you’re safe. You won’t judge him, you don’t pry for details, you’d never tell him to suck it up

• Vox lets himself sink into the couch beside you, tapping your thigh with a claw to invite you to come closer. You never fail to accept and deliver exactly what he needs. It’s bizarre how you know what he needs when he doesn’t himself. Turning to straddle him, you rest your head on his chest and hug him impossibly closer

• “You’re tense today,” You comment quietly, giving him a comforting squeeze.

“Come with me to set for once, you’ll find out why.”

Nuzzling into his chest as if trying to find his nonexistent heartbeat, you replied, “Nah. Sounds like too much of a hassle.”

“Exactly why I need you there.”

“Promise not to bring me on air like you’re always threatening to?”

A dry cackle escapes as he keeps his gaze towards the ceiling. Vox has this fanatical plan that you two could be the power couple of Hell, outranking Lucifer and Lilith (and lasting twice as long) if you would just sit at the same desk as him, deliver news and playful banter that would knock 666 News down a couple thousand pegs. You were worried someone wouldn’t want to see your face, you’d make his ratings plummet, you’d ruin everything he worked so hard to build. He hates when you spiral like that.

“No.” Vox mumbles honestly.

He’d prove you wrong like he’s done everyone else, one way or another

[jobean12-blog]

Life is Good

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word Count: 999

Summary: Bucky loves to take care of you even if it means he has to get out of the the warm and cozy bed but he'll be keeping it warm for when you get home.

Author's Note: My sweet friend @sgt-seabass shared this absolutely lovely and adorable tik tok with me and just made me think of this softness with Bucky and Alpine. Thank you love! And thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy!🥰

Warnings: soft sweet fluff and warm and fuzzy 😁

“You don’t have to bring me to work Buck. Stay in bed!”

Alpine meows in agreement and stretches himself out in the warm spot Bucky just vacated.

“Nah doll face. I’ll take you. I don’t want you going out in this alone.”

You stare at him as he sits sleepily on the edge of the bed and yawns, the backdrop of the neighboring buildings obscured by the flakes of snow fluttering wildly outside but doing little to distract from his perfection.

“Bucky.”

“Doll.”

He gives you a lopsided smile and crooks his finger at you before patting his thigh.

You walk between his legs and sit, curling against his bare chest, still warm from sleep.

“Just need a hug before we go.”

You hum happily into his skin with a soft inhale.

“I should call out…”

“You should.”

“But I have to get this project done.”

“I know baby doll.”

“Alpine?” you ask and peek over Bucky’s shoulder at the white fluff sprawled out on the bed.

The cat doesn’t even lift his head up.

“We all know his answer,” Bucky chuckles. “He’d stay in bed all day.”

You place a soft kiss to Bucky’s neck and nuzzle closer.

“Honestly. Hugs were the best and worst idea. I do not want to get up,” he says. “Ever again.”  

“Yeah, I know. Now I’m extra comfy and in my happy place.”

You feel the satisfied rumble that moves through his chest before he presses his thumb under your chin and tilts your face up to capture your lips in a toe-curling kiss.

“Bucky,” you murmur against his mouth.

“Uh huh, I know,” he sighs, kissing you again before he gently sets you down on the bed.

“Gimme five to wash up and change and we’ll go.”

Once Bucky is dressed he appears in the living room and looks you over.

“Do you have everything you need?” he asks.

“Yup!”

He crowds your space and pulls your hat down over your ears before tightening your scarf.

“Lunch?”

“Yes Bucky,” you answer sweetly and pat your bag.

“Snacks?”

He then pulls your gloves from your jacket pockets and motions for your hands.

“Of course,” you reply.

When he has your gloves secured he gives you one more check and nods approvingly.

“Ok, let’s go.”

He gets himself dressed, of course with fewer accessories than you, and holds the door open while reaching out for your hand.

“Bye Alpine,” you yell.

Bucky walks you to the train station, takes the train with you and then walks you to your building before kissing you until you’re overheating. He watches you get inside and waves through the large glass panes until you disappear into the elevator.

The day flies by thanks to all that you have to do but you’re productive and manage to finish early. With excited steps you walk toward the elevator, contemplating calling Bucky to let him know you’re leaving. He insisted on coming back to get you and take you home but you want to surprise him and decide you can make it home just fine on your own.

Your trip back is uneventful and when you reach the door to your apartment you can already smell the familiar aroma of your favorite comfort meal. With a smile you unlock the door and walk inside, softly calling Bucky’s name.

When he doesn’t answer you toe off your shoes and whip off all your warm weather garments then walk to the crock pot on the counter and lift the lid, inhaling with contentment.

The bedroom door is wide open and as you get closer you can see Bucky’s bare foot dangling off the edge of the bed. You inch closer with quiet steps and find him laid out on top of the comforter in nothing but his black boxers.

The curtains that normally cover the large window next to the bed are pushed haphazardly aside, allowing the soft brightness of the snow to bathe the room in a white glow. Everything you can see outside is lined with a neat new edge of dazzling crystals.

As pretty as it all is your eyes quickly move back to the bed and Bucky.

His metal hand is curled around your pillow and his face is smushed into it. Alpine is laying in the small space between Bucky’s bent leg and his arm with all four legs straight out and his furry belly gently rising and falling with his even breathing.

You stare for a few moments before taking your phone out and snapping a photo.

“New lock screen?” Bucky mumbles as he slowly shifts and opens his eyes.

“Definitely,” you giggle.

“How come you didn’t call me doll?”

His voice is stern even though his face is half hidden in your pillow.

“I was done early and wanted to surprise you…surprise!”

He grumbles something about ‘next time you better call because blah blah’ and trails off.

“Get over here doll.”

“That’s my pillow,” you tease.

“Smells so good,” he murmurs with one last nuzzle before holding out his arms and making grabby hands.

You curl into him and after several kisses you ask, “did you fall asleep reading again?”

“Yeah,” he whispers. “I got the food in the crock pot, had a snack or two then decided to read while I waited for you to call and well…”

“Thank you for cooking. It smells so good.”

“Of course baby doll. It’ll be ready soon.”

“Mm. I don’t want to get up yet.”

“Me either.”

“Meow.”

Alpine stretches and presses himself closer into Bucky while lightly kneading the comforter.

“Hi furball,” you giggle. “Did you help daddy cook?”

Bucky scoffs playfully and tugs you closer into his embrace.

“He’s been in the same spot since you left!”

“He’s living the life!” you muse.

Bucky slides his face closer to yours and holds your gaze while he delicately traces a finger along the curve of your jaw.

“It’s the best life,” he murmurs against your lips.

@lizette50 @buckysdollforlife @randomfandompenguin @blackwidownat2814 @goldylions @kmc1989 @haileygarciasunshine

[texasradiorp]

Redoing tags

After dark: NSFW

It’s you/it’s you/its all for you/everything I do/I tell you all the time/heaven is a place on Earth with you//Paris/Tori

I am drowning/there is no sign of land/you are coming down with me/hand in unloveable hand//Lilly/Schlatt

I told you twice in our love letter/there’s no stopping now/green lights forever//Paris/Gladstone

We were both young when I first saw you/I close my eyes and the flashback starts//Paris/Karkat

Did you get enough love/my little dove/why do you cry/and I’m sorry I left/but it was for the best//Paris/Zero Two

And all I can taste is this moment/and I can breathe is your life//Paris/Loid

Set my alarm/turn on my charm/that’s because I’m a good old fashioned lover boy//Gladstone Gander

All you have is your fire/and the place you need to reach/don’t you ever take your demons/but always keep them on a leash//Paris Catt

I am the righteous hand of god/and the devil that you forgot//Tori Larson

With a thousand lies/and a good disguise/hit ‘em right between the eyes/hit ‘em right between the eyes//Karkat Vantas

Baby when you close your eyes/I know who you pretend I am/I know who you pretend I am/why not me?//Zero Two

All the lonely people/where do they all come from/all the lonely people/where do they all belong//Loid Forger

You got designer shades just to hide your face/and you wear em around like you’re cooler than me//Dave Strider

Don’t do love/don’t do friends/I’m only after success//Dirk Strider

No tears/no fears/no ruined years/no clocks/she’s a 20th century fox//Rachel Adley

She’s a killer Queen/gun powder/gelatins/dynamite with a laser beam//Vriska Serket

It goes all my troubles on a burning pile/all lit up and I start to smile//Tord Larson

Scary my god you’re divine/gimme them/gimme them dope and diamonds//Lilly Schlatt

My old man/he’s a bad man/but he’s got a soul as thick as blood red jam//J Schlatt

[reidsworld]

Scars of Time | Masterlist

Summary: For decades, Logan and you have been each other’s sanctuary in a world that never offers peace. From a fateful encounter in a dive bar to a life together at the X-Mansion, your bond has weathered countless trials. But as Logan’s once-impenetrable healing powers begin to fail and your own abilities start to drain you, the stakes grow perilously high. With your love on the line and survival in question, can you both endure the ultimate test of sacrifice and devotion? Or will the scars of time finally come to bite you in the ass? Based on this request. Ongoing.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Fem!Mutant!Reader

Series Content Warning: Canon-typical violence, alcohol use, arguing, use of Y/N. More warnings will be added as the story progresses. There will be individual warnings at the beginning of each chapter.

Total Word Count: 11.3k

Ch. 1, "Gimme Shelter" 2029

Ch. 2, "Wild Horses" 1997

↳ Sneak Peak

Ch. 3, “(Don't Fear) The Reaper” 2000

↳ Sneak Peak

Ch. 4, "Stand By Me" 2029 + 2018

Ch. 5. "House of the Rising Sun" 2029

Ch. 6, "A Whiter Shade of Pale" 2010 +2011

Ch. 7, "The Matador" 2029

Ch. 8, "Vienna" 2034

Mars speaks... If you are interested in this and would like to be tagged, let me know! Also please note that this masterlist is subject to change as the series continues to develop! The timeline for all x-men movies is FUBAR so bear with me, I'm gonna have to change some things along the way! This story is set post-dofp timeline so everyone is alive except I’m making it so that Logan remembers what happens in this timeline instead of the other one so kind of completely ignoring dofp…

Main Masterlist

[sidekick-hero]

Cheesy

steddie | 1.2k | rated: teen | tags: modern AU, Eddie works at Surfer Boy Pizza, inappropriate humor, cheesy lines and bad puns, fluff and humor | AO3

"Steeeeeeve! Steven! I’m starving! You have to save me from the cruel clutches of death by buying us a pizza. But you must hurry—I don’t have much time left."

"Oh no, what would I ever do without you?" Steve deadpans, barely suppressing a grin.

Robin dramatically flings herself onto him, knocking the wind out of him with a loud 'oumph.'

She jabs a finger into his ribs—surprisingly painful. "Crash and burn, Dingus. Crash. And. Burn."

Steve swats her poking fingers away, scowling at his platonic soulmate. "At least I’d have fewer bruises and a better bank account. This is the third time this week I’m buying you pizza, Buckley. How is that fair?"

He tries to sound stern, but as Robin squirms in his lap, looking up at him with big, pleading blue eyes, his resolve crumbles to dust.

"Because I’ve been your best friend since we both lost all dignity in those sailor outfits. It’s us against the world, oh platonic love of my life. Or... don’t you love me anymore?"

There it is—the killing blow. Game, set, match.

God, he’s so fucking easy, isn’t he?

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gimme my phone, jeez. You’re eating me out of house and home, I hope you know that."

Steve gets a sharp elbow in the stomach as Robin scrambles to grab his phone from the table.

"Ouch! God, why are your elbows so pointy?"

"They’re my secret weapon against the patriarchy," Robin says distractedly, shoving the phone in his face. "Pizza. Please. Hungry."

Robin’s monosyllables mean the situation is dire. Steve quickly dials their favorite pizza place. “Veggie?” he mouths, earning a thumbs-up from Robin.

“Surfer Boy Pizza, this is Eddie speaking. What’s your poison of choice?”

Huh. The deep, smooth voice on the other end of the line is new, throwing Steve off momentarily.

“Uhhhm… You’re not Argyle,” he blurts out, immediately wanting to slap himself. How pathetic does he sound right now?

An amused chuckle echoes through the tiny speaker.

“Keen observation skills, Sherlock. Argyle’s off today, so you’ve got the pleasure of my company. How can I make your day better, sweetheart?”

The flirty tone throws Steve further, but he can’t deny he’s enjoying it. So, he decides to match Eddie’s energy.

“I could think of a few things, but I’m not sure they’re on the menu,” Steve flirts back, relishing the chance to flex his long-dormant charm.

“Is that so?” Eddie’s smile is practically audible. “Who says they aren’t? Or that I wouldn’t make an exception if you ask real nice?”

Steve opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, Robin’s elbow digs into his side, knocking the breath out of him. She’s glaring at him, mouthing, ‘What the fuck?’

The sound must have been loud enough for Eddie to hear because he clears his throat awkwardly. “Uh, was that… I mean, sorry if that was too forward, man. Please don’t tell my manager, I just got the job and—”

“No! No, no, no, don’t worry. My best friend’s just starving and shared her pain with me… via elbow to the ribs. It wasn’t too forward, I promise.”

A relieved sigh reaches his ear. “Okay, good. So, what kind of pizza can I get you two before your best friend starves to death? I wouldn’t want that on my conscience.”

A heavy weight settles in Steve’s stomach. He didn’t realize how much he missed being flirted with, even casually. Nancy was right—their relationship had been over long before they ended it. It’s been ages since he felt this kind of excitement.

“Yeah, no, we don’t want that,” Steve agrees, smiling despite himself. “One veggie, and one with meatballs—yes, I know how that sounds.”

Eddie’s flirtatious tone returns. “Wouldn’t dream of going for such an easy opening, big boy. I’m easy, not cheesy.”

“Oh. My. God.” Steve laughs. “That was terrible.”

“But you liked it.”

Steve grins. Yeah, he did. He’s a sucker for bad puns and dad jokes. But Eddie didn’t need to know that. “Pleading the fifth.”

Eddie hums, asking for his name and address before promising the pizza will be there in 20 minutes.

“Thanks, Eddie,” Steve says, his voice softer than it should be.

“Anytime, Stevie. Enjoy your pizza!”

“Bye. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Deafening silence. Then, in a surprisingly calm voice, Eddie says, “I hope you’re not expecting a discount on the pizza now that we’ve confessed our undying love to each other. Because I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”

And then he hangs up, leaving Steve to spiral in peace.

Love you.

Love you, too.

Fuck. Oh my God. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. What was he thinking? Nothing, apparently. It’s just… with Nancy on his mind, his brain switched to autopilot, saying the words he ended every call with her. Three years of habit.

“Steve? Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

The worried look on Robin’s face lasts just long enough for Steve to explain what happened before she breaks into ringing laughter.

“Oh my God,” she gasps, barely able to catch her breath. “That’s… hahaha… I can’t… What is your life, Dingus?”

By then, Steve’s laughing too, Robin’s reaction helping him see the humor instead of drowning in embarrassment.

As promised, there’s a ring at the door about 20 minutes later, announcing the arrival of their pizza. The sound sends butterflies fluttering in his stomach, even though he knows the delivery guy won’t be Eddie.

Knowing that and seeing it for himself are two different things, though. He can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment when he opens the door to find a blonde, pimply teenager staring at him doubtfully.

“So, you’re the guy trying to lure Eddie into your sex dungeon?”

Steve sputters, completely thrown. “Uh… what?”

“Why else would you tell a total stranger—who’s also working for you, by the way, hence creating an imbalance of power—that you love him? Freak.”

The teenager shoves the pizza boxes into Steve’s hands, snatches the bills from his other hand, and walks away without another word.

Steve stands there, staring into the void, deeply regretting all his life choices. He’s snapped out of it only when Robin’s voice pierces through his thoughts, yelling for her pizza.

“Coming!” he shouts back, closing the door with his foot and carrying the boxes over to where Robin’s already making grabby hands.

He hands hers over before settling down next to her with his own.

“What took you so long?” she asks, mouth full of pizza.

“You wouldn’t believe it,” he begins but stops when he notices the note stuck to the top of his pizza box.

Hey Stevie, I lied, because this is cheesy, but you are one supreme slice, and I’d love to give you meatballs for as long as you’d like. Yours truly, The guy you confessed your undying love to (aka Eddie) P.S. Please don’t mind Sam. He’s just jealous because no customer ever confesses their love to him.

Beneath the note, Steve finds a phone number.

Without thinking, he grabs his phone and quickly types out a message before finally digging into his pizza, suddenly starving.

‘Hey Eddie, if you put a sausage on top of the meatballs, we have a deal. xxx the guy you confessed your undying love to right back.’

Inspired by this ancient post I can no longer find:

[theemporium]

🧸 Lando's baby being a music lover just like their mum!!! (i love music everything, playing, singing, making GIMME EVERYTHING) also ilysm cece, you're such an angel

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It became clear at a young age that little Margot Norris adored music.

It never mattered the song or the artist or the genre of music, any form of it seemed to calm her down in a way that seemed like a miracle when it came to babies. Lando had made countless jokes that it was because of all the different genres you would listen to when you were pregnant. He joked that she had spent most of her time inside you being surrounded by music that only followed her into her own life. 

He joked but it wasn’t really a joke. 

Margot Norris was a carbon copy of you with her love for music. She seemed to take after her mother in the way she craved it, the way she desired it, the way she gravitated towards it. And it made Lando’s heart clench so tight in his chest, he thought it was going to explode. 

“Daddy likes music too,” he spoke to the baby in his lap as he set up the control board in front of him. “Daddy used to be a DJ, you know? People loved it, honey. They went crazy for my music.”

Margot babbled like she understood what he said. 

Lando grinned widely. “Yeah, exactly. You get it, smarty pants. And look, Daddy still has all his old equipment he can teach you.” 

Whilst he knew Margot was still far too young to show any understanding in the words or instructions he was giving her as a six month old, it still warmed his heart to watch her reach for the same buttons he just pressed like it was a game. It made him feel like her music obsession was a little bit of him too.

“What are you doing?”

It almost made you laugh the way both of their heads snapped up at the sound of your voice. 

“I’m making my girl a DJ prodigy,” Lando said proudly as he glanced down at the baby in his lap, her head tilting back to look at him. “Isn’t that right, honey? M’gonna make you the next Steve Aoki.”

You snorted. “What if she wants to do classical music?”

“I bet that can be DJ-ed too,” Lando said with a shrug of his shoulders before he leaned down to press chaste kisses on Margot’s chubby cheeks. “You are gonna be the best DJ this world has ever seen.” 

“So you’ve already given up on making her a racer?” You teased as you wandered deeper into the room, taking a seat by Lando beside all of his DJ equipment surrounding him on the floor.

“Of course not,” Lando scoffed. “She just needs a hobby until she’s old enough to go in a kart.”

You shook your head, though you were smiling. “A DJ prodigy and a racing prodigy,” you mused as you let out a low whistle. “We’ve made a daughter with many talents.”

Lando puffed his chest. “She gets it from me.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, baby.” 

“I thought a good wife was meant to further her husband’s delusion.”

“Not this time, babe.”

.

[askew-d]

WANGXIAN FICS MASTERLIST

• tonight i can write the saddest lines, by sarahyyy — post-canon amnesiac lan wangji getting to know wei wuxian again. amazing! i love this author, sincerely.

• deconstruct, by flowercity (faorie) — a soulmate au in which what you write in your skin appears in the other person’s. i’ll admit that soulmate aus aren’t my cup of tea, however i quite liked this one!

• resonant frequencies, by chinxe — the infamous fake relationship story. with wangxian, this works so well! just amazing.

• between the lines, by fading_fast — modern setting au with wangxian meeting through a game. love these strange meetings and this one’s damn enjoyable.

• something real, by latios — wangxian wrong number au involving bunny pictures. i need more wrong number aus for them!! gimme!!

• all your life you’ll dream of this, by attila — cinderella au but with wei wuxian as prince charming. a fantastic story, i was so engaged in this it’s a wonder.

• ⭐️🎖️ one good thing, by yuu_chi — wei wuxian’s a ghost haunting his childhood house until lan wangji appears. seriously, everything about this plot charmed me. i’m enchanted.

• of rabbits and men, by shoutowo — wei wuxian turning into a rabbit and making his way into lan wangji’s heart for the second time. anything more wangxian than this?

• ⭐️ rumor has it, by ulan — post-canon cql in which wei wuxian comes back to “haunt” his rumored cultivation partner. the softness in this killed me.

• ⭐️🎖️ a little happiness, by suspicious_popsicle — lan wangji gets cursed and is transformed into his child version. so lovely to see!! i’m surprised i can read this for free.

• critical path analysis, by chinxe — brooklyn 99 au with wangxian in that episode where they make a bet and wei wuxian takes wangji on a terrible date that’s not terrible at all!

• ⭐️ some of you, by tangerine chair — social media au where lan wangji’s an actor and posts a suspicious tweet about his love life. incredible story, really.

• ⭐️ this should definitely happen, by yeolinski — wei wuxian waking up high in anesthesia and hitting on the hot guy who’s there with him. this is so goddamn funny, i swear i can’t.

• linger in the sun, by etymologyplayground — wangxian are cursed to not hear or see one another. i loved this a lot, it’s terrific.

• another way, by anonymous — wei wuxian sneaks outside to buy emperor smile’s again, and once again encounters lan wangji. i’m frustrated this doesn’t have as many kudos as it deserves, tbh.

• life, drama and action, by akai_hana — one more social media au with wangxian as a famous couple. awesome story.

• inebriation and affections, by chewing — wei wuxian gets drunk and shows his clingy attitude. it’s great to see him like that for the first time, thank you author 🙏🏼

• ⭐️ the inquiries of the heart, by ziane — very much alike “another way”, but this one has a sequel. it’s a whole show alright. a hella nice canon-divergence.

• 我在, by tangerinechair — wei wuxian comforting lan wangji in the xuanwu cave. something i deeply needed to read.

• facilitated diffusion, by chinxe — lan wangji can’t stop ordering stuff just to see the cute delivery worker. at this point i’m bookmarking every work by this author, ngl.

• ⭐️ you, asleep and dreaming, by etymologyplayground — post-canon cql that’ll haunt your mind but that you need to check out if you haven’t already.

• a wild heart to tame mine, by theroyalsavage — superheroes au in a soft perspective and amazing plot, liked every bit.

• ⭐️ a song you’ve never heard, by arahir — wei wuxian’s fatally injured and lan wangji… well, you can imagine. it’s heartbreaking and heartwarming all in between.

• ⭐️ to wing your soul with jasmines, by enemyofrome — while reaching gusu, wei wuxian starts sending flowers to lan wangji. cql post-canon. i could die basking on this adorable story.

• dear hanguang-jun, by cavaleira — people start sending letters asking for relationship advice from lan wangji and he gives it to them. whoa, the entertainment!

• ⭐️🎖️ two guys r in love thats literally it, victortor — wei wuxian traveling back to his old self and meeting lan wangji again. it’s a shame we didn’t hear more from this author in this fandom for a long time. where are you?? come back to give us more of this gay lil beasts. i absolutely love this and the title makes it more interesting. iconic.

• concessions to love, by besanii — arranged marriage wangxian. it’s well-noted and well-written. it rocks!

• “congratulations, get rich”, by attila — it’s chinese new year and wei wuxian wants to do things differently. incredibly done.

• atlas, by etymologyplayground — if you want a crossover between hob and mdzs, here it is. and it’s amazing!

• soft-hearted, by sarahyyy — canon-divergence where wei wuxian ends up in the lan sect. it’s so soft, just as the name tells us!

• seldom all they seem, by fahye — here we go with one more arranged marriage au. this one’s rated e, surely a ride! worth every bit.

• and in the spring i shed my skin, by wvlfqveen — shapeshifter lan wangji in a modern with magic au where they’re professors. do i need to say more? all too good, all too good

• love & longing, rabbit edition, by jaws_3 — lan wangji gets turned into a rabbit and looks for wei wuxian for help. do you sense a pattern? yes, maybe i love the idea of lan wangji as a bunny. in fact, i recommend every story by this author and many others but i’ll just be adding by absolute favorites. and this one’s fabulous.

• 在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable, by yiqie — we had people writing letters to hanguang-jun asking for advice and now it’s people writing letters to the yiling patriarch! also gorgeous.

• 1 unread message, by bittersweetirony — office au where wei wuxian keeps receiving emails from an admirer. short and very sweet!

• ⭐️ the stars in the hazy heaven tremble above you, by cicer — wherein wei wuxian’s ciderella and wangji’s prince charming. i could read this over and over and never get tired. in fact, i did.

• ⭐️🎖️ only the deepest love, by occultings (microcomets) — pride and prejudice fusion. everything’s a bliss, magically and wonderfully so. i fell in love with this masterpiece. in fact, read everything by this author!! highly recommend. especially three days gone, if you go searching rabbits and a life in your shape!

• beneath six layers of silk, by darkredloveknot (enheduane) — lan wangji’s cursed to speak every thought of his out loud. come on, who never wanted to check what this guy’s thinking? perfect!

• ⭐️ let me come home, by cafecliche — seven nights with wangxian being sappy. i could dream about this piece of art. really.

• ⭐️🎖️ i hope that you will come and meet me, by feyburner — another post-canon cql where wangxian slowly get together. i find this particularly devastating and so beautiful.

• the ocean between us, by catbrainedschemes — this is for those who watched the legend of the blue sea, yes, the k-drama! because this is a fusion of it, where wei wuxian is a mermaid.

• call me, beep me, by myung — a whole social media au in another level! they are all actors and i love this idea so much. myung-laoshi big brained, tis glorious story right here made a lot happier.

• and his wanting grows teeth, by yukla — cultivator lan wangji finding wei wuxian in a village, an au in canon setting as the tag says. it's devasting how good this is, really.

• 🎖️ how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat), by bwyn, yuisaki — wei wuxian finds a catfish trying to be the famous lan wangji. turns out, of course, that it's not a catfish. can we talk about this story more? the sheer hurt/comfort of it, and how it's the perfect rom-com slash drama depiction? i want this as a real show! new york, i love you, by yuisaki also gorgeous!

• listen to the voice inside your head, by pupeez4eva— wei wuxian wakes up to his future-self voice inside his head. it's telling him suspicious things. the amount of giggles i let it slip. in fact, i recommend every work by this author because they always makes me laugh!

• 🎖️ the breaking of your soul (upon my lips), by sunsandships — canon-divergence where wei wuxian discovers that lan wangji's the one who kissed him without his consent. that changes everything. just... magnificent fix-up story, as i said so in my bookmark.

• love on 35mm, by fakeplasticlily — film student lan wangji and wei wuxian as the brother of lan wangji's best friend. my heart was aching during this.

• neatly arranged, by thunderwear — wei wuxian and lan wangji are betrothed, against their own wills. do we have enough wangxian arranged marriage content? no, we do not.

• ⭐️🎖️paint smears on sunny days, by snowshadowao3 — lan wangji's son, lan yuan, has a favorite teacher, and that's wei-laoshi, art professional and also an expert at getting into lan wangji's heart. i will dive DEEP into teacher wei wuxian concept. this one's so wholesome, i could Die.

• 🎖️the absolutely true story of the yiling patriarch: a manifesto in many parts, by aubreyli — the juniors decide to make up wei wuxian's reputation by creating a book of his stories with hanguang-jun. it goes well. one time or another. haha, i love the juniors, they are so creative when making wangxian get together.

• ⭐️🎖️ pigtail pulling, by protos_metazu_isson — lan wangji decides to face wei wuxian's pigtail pulling face to face. that goes better than the expected and worse that what he further imagined. it's surely one of stories i keep on rereading from time to time, especially because it's not big and it's so CUTE!! help.

• ⭐️🎖️ your hand in mine, by cerbykerby — wangxian cursed to hold each other's hand. i could scream while i'm are. come on, this is one of the best stories here, it's short and so sweet, so fitting for them too. perfect, perfect.

• ⭐️ as you like it, by cosmicmilktea — wei wuxian starts to discover what's lan wangji likes. it's what he should know as his husband, after all. IT'S WHAT WE NEED AND DESERVE.

• after the final rose, by azulewaxwing — the bachelor au, because who doesn't want a lan wangji for themselves? turns out, the cameraman attracts his attention more than any contestant could. absolute fire.

• your heartbeat, across the grass, by fakeplasticlily — former classmates with now wei wuxian babysitting and lan wangji as a famous football player. aaah, just imagining lan wangji playing football, as a brazilian, it gives me chills.

• grow, by cafecliche — age degression wei wuxian troubling cloud recesses and the juniors. i love this idea! love a tiny wei wuxian. he deserves good things.

• obedient and bellicose, by thunderwear — an ella the enchanted au where, as per say, lan wangji has to follow every rule. oh, what an incredible fusion. it fits so well, even.

• ⭐️ at least in this lifetime, by etymologyplayground — aaaah i'm sighing over this again. this story's pure sweetness. diabetes. fluff. outstanding. basically, it's just wangxian getting married.

• ⭐️🎖️ i'm the one for your fire, by occultings (microcomets) — a cherry magic au, where wei wuxian can reads mind and discovers lan wangji from the office is actually into him. and maybe he's also into lan wangji. but like, in a no homo kinda way. of course! (denial's a river on africa, dear.)

• ⭐️ look not with the eyes, by spodumene — a case fic post-canon cql where everyone who knows lan wangji starts to devote themselves to him and it doesn't work on wei wuxian. why would that be? i wonder.

• ⭐️🎖️ sweet chaos, by eachandeverydimension — it took me a long time to finish this because everything was so good i wanted to feel it forever. wangxian arranged marriage where they're fourteen and lan wangji goes spend the time with him at yunmeng.

• ⭐️🎖️ your words upon my lips, by uchiuchi — during a nighthun, wangxian get cursed, what one says comes on the other's lips. this killed me, it's so freaking funny and overall over the top.

• ⭐️🎖️ linger by the door (i've always been yours), by piecrust — epistolary wangxian! post-canon cql! introspection! slow burn! everything i could ever want in just one fic. and the letters are unbearably beautiful.

• my heart skips a beat (so my gut can feel the punch), by piecrust — wangxian taking the long way back home. i always wonder how these pretty stories come into an author's mind.

• we sit in the sunset glow, by moonsteps — tangled au where wei wuxian's flynn rider and wangji's rapunzel. thank you, dear author, indeed wangxian came straight out of a fairy tale movie and we deserve more fics like this!

•⭐️not in so many words, by jaws_3 — getting hananaki through a curse after he flirts with the wrong florist, wei wuxian starts dealing with the consequences of his actions. a masterpiece. and so, so lovely, gimme more. this author also has many darling works.

• ⭐️tickling sleeping dragons, by fallingfeathers — a hogwarts au with wei wuxian as a troublemaker gryffindor and lan wangji as a rigorous ravenclaw! perfect, isn't it? the development's awesome as well.

• blooming into the color of love, series by leffy — actors wei wuxian and lan wangji, who are judged to be rivals, have to work together for a tv show. and they have sex scenes at that. so enjoyable!

• love potion no. 9, by ria_green — one more hogwarts au where amortentia's involved, so you can imagine what happens. short and soft.

• the rivers start to sing, by fruitys — another tangled au but this time with wei wuxian as rapunzel and lan wangji as flynn rider. it's a marvel that we have two tangled aus in here! phenomenal. mountains, we met by this author (every work of theirs, actually) are also worth every bit!

•⭐️blue-ribbon bunny, by cicer — shapeshifter lan wangji is forced into a shift after getting tired at work and wei wuxian finds him. bunji won my heart, i want to pet him! wei wuxian, you lucky fool.

•⭐️no more looking, i've found home, by annadream — more epistolary wangxian! more post-canon cql! getting together! once again, with terrific letters. i'm astonished with these author's mind.

•⭐️🎖️teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura — mdzs characters watching mdzs donghua!!! please, this is my utmost FAVORITE! ever! i'm also translating this into portuguese, for those who wanna check in the start note (i'm slowly updating it, im sorry). but aaah, how sensational this work is!!

• an impromptu visit to the city, by bosbie — lan wangji time travels into a modern time and wei wuxian finds him there! oh, this is precious, they are the best.

• heartkeeper, by postingpebbles — bunny lan wangji again, but this ain't modern times, and it's also fascinating. the arts in these made me so warm inside, too.

• ⭐️🎖️the one-body problem, by metisket — during a ritual, lan jingyi's possessed and wei wuxian's on his body with him. waahhh, i couldn't help but chuckle during every part of this, it's well-written and freaking nice to see them bonding. jingyi and wei wuxian being buddies owns my life.

• ⭐️🎖️no certainty of doors between us, by betts — this is the story that HAUNTS me. i read this every once in a while because it's goddamn FANTASTIC. just roommates wangxian with wangji complaining about wei wuxian but being head over heels in love with the man. chaotic, amusing and flawless!!!

• ⭐️🎖️covered in bees, by scarlettstorm— apiary au with wei wuxian freaking out over bees at his doorstep, but then lan wangji comes to aid. and of course, chemistry sparks. and there are bees everywhere. and my heart's melted.

•🎖️lavender blue, by ana_cp — wei wuxian's a florist for a wedding and lan wangji's a cook, they meet and don't stop meeting afterwards. everything about this work is excellent!

•⭐️ wrong turn, right place, by diamondbruise — more time-travel au! this time, it's wei wuxian who goes to cloud recesses coming from his modern time. one of my favorite quotes from all the fics i've read it's in here. such an exquisite work.

• hello, it. have you tried turning it off and on again?, by overmountainandmeadow — here we have modern setting, office wangxian, it superior lan wangji, juniors as interns and other great plots. stunning work!

• diamonds are wei wuxian's worst enemy, by thefaceofno — lan wangji says he wants to marry, and wei wuxian thinks it's with another person. of course it isn't. so he helps plan his own wedding. coming from our best fool, that's expected, really. splendid!

• secretary lan, series by silverclaw — exactly what it says, lan wangji as his husband's secretary and everybody thinks wei wuxian's cheating on their spouse with... well, his spouse. it's absurdly good.

• our hands clasped so tight, by chapter_61 — wangxian get stuck in a library and conversations ensue. i like the idea of fics with a lot of dialogue, and this one didn't fail to surprise and light me up! lovely!

• ⭐️connected: unknown number, by phoenixking25 — wrong number aus always have my heart, and wow, how good this one is. truly excellent, with the perfect lenght. the ones i read are always so short, but this is longer! a win for the wrong number lovers.

• cut through the clouds, break the ceiling, by tardigradeschool — modern setting with our adorable boys including a drunk confession. i'm not lying when i say this is so delightful, i want to print it out and keep it.

• who could stay? you could stay, by martyrsdaughter — neighbours au, where wei wuxian's a bit intruding. maybe too much. but lan wangji likes him anywhere. what is there not to like? haha, a whole awesome read.

• ⭐️ be gay, do crime, by merelydovely — lan wangji thinks wei wuxian, the guy who invaded his home one afternoon and petted his bunnies, is a bad guy. he's not. hilarious and brilliant!

• ⭐️don't threaten me with a good time, by livinginaworldofnoise — ridiculously funny! basically, a great british bake off au with wei wuxian being a lil demon. i want this to be printed and delivered during my funeral, thank you very much.

• ⭐️as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325 — lan wangji, as a kid, encounters wei wuxian, who's older than him. they keep on encountering each other, and lan wangji keeps on falling in love with his senior. aah, i'm in love with this work! i can't stop rereading!

• as if you were a mythical thing, by daltoneering — a vague steampunk au as the author suggest, and it absolutely rocks! i wish this had even more hits, as it deserves.

you can check my wangxian bookmarks on ao3 for more recs! i’d just like to note again that this is, of course, based on my own opinion. regardless if these stories are famous or not, i wanted to make this list for my enjoyment and for those who want more wangxian content, either they’re old here or if they’re just entering the fandom :)

as always, i’m accepting other recs if you have those. check my pinned tweet for more of my stuff and thank yoou!

[too0bsessedformyowngood]

Batfam incorrect quotes pt. 3 (guest starring Jon)

pt.1 | pt.2

pt. 4 | pt. 5 | pt. 6

- Dick: "I have bad taste in men" Cass: "We know" Steph: "It’s the trauma obviously, I mean look at that face" - Bruce: "Bye have a good day" Robin Dick: "Thanks" Bruce: "Try not to start a riot" Robin Dick: "No promises" -

Duke: "I’m going to murder someone, I’m going to commit homicide" Steph: "If you do... blame it on Jason" *same time heard from across the Batcave* Jason: "Set it on FIRE!" Steph: "See" - Jon: *runs up to Damian* Jon: "How tall are you" Damian: "5ft" Jon: "You are 39-40 Cheetos tall" Jon: *flies away* - Jason: “Gimme your arm” Tim: "No" Jason: “Come on, gimme your arm” Tim: “I’m not going to let you light me on fire” Jason: “Come on, no one’s fun around here” - Duke: “What up Bestie?” Steph: “What up Bestie?” Tim: “What up Bestie?” Steph: “Tim you’re not a Bestie you’re not even fam” - Dick: "I will not sock Tim but Damian keeps on giving me puppy dog eyes like I did something wrong" Damian: "Pretty Please" - Steph: "Wait, we can unionize, I didn’t know we could do that" Time: "You can’t unionize, you know what they do to union leaders” Steph: "I'll be a martyr" - Damian: “Tim your life could be traded for cheese sticks” - Dick: “It’s funny because I haven’t eaten anything all day but I feel like, how do I describe it, more hunger for water than food” Jason: “That’s being dehydrated, please take care of yourself”

[jimmyneutron877]

"Keep Dancing With Me"

• Pre War Cooper Howard x Reader! Fluff!

(Cooper and you dance together 🥺)

“C’mon Coop! Please just teach me even a little step, pleeeeease”

You and Cooper Howard have been together for a while now, since after he and Barb got divorced, and you had been begging Cooper to teach you the Western line dancing he claims to know.

“No- c’mon- its embarrassin’ please-” He refused you every time saying he was embarrassed, he was “too busy” or he “wasn't in the mood”, but he wouldn't get away with it this time, you wouldn't have it.

You left the couch with a Hm, and disappeared into the bedroom, this was automatically suspicious for Cooper as you’d always persist and plead, and then he heard it… Johnny Cash. He got up from the couch, put his paper down and started for the bedroom, but not before you appeared in the doorway, you gestured for him to come closer with your finger, and when he moved forward you did too, until you both met halfway.

“Cooper Howard, you are going to teach me a dance, or I'll make you” Your voice got low and serious as you looked into his eyes.

He let out a sigh, defeated, “Fine, gimme your hand, put the other on my shoulder” he took your hand with his and guided his other hand down to your waist and gripped it firmly.

You always loved his hands, they were strong and big, and you almost fit into them completely, your hand disappeared into his, like his hands were made for you, and he loved that too.

He showed you the footwork to one he called “Lori's Cha-Cha”, and the beginning was easy, however, you kind of bombed out anything after that, so you two just stuck to the beginning part. It was nice, energetic and intimate at the same time, you were both laughing for the first time in a long time. Johnny Cash was definitely the best pick for this dancing.

“Havin’ fun?” He teased with a smirk, flashing his teeth.

“Yes, I can definitely see you are, you've loosened up, your shoulders aren't as tense” You noted, sending a cheeky smile to him.

“Yeah yeah, whatever” Cooper rolled his eyes.

“Why didn't you ever want to show me before?”

“I don't know, I never thought you'd be so interested in it, I always thought it was a cheesy thing we always had ta learn in school” he spun you around gently and his hand left your waist for a split second before you came back around.

“Aw Coop, you don't have to be embarrassed about it, I love it, I'm always interested in you..I find it really charming, and what better way to woo someone than with your line dancing?” you teased the last part and he scoffed but he knows you meant the beginning.

“I’m sorry for always shovin’ you off before, I also thought you were kinda just teasin’ me ‘bout it” he said that and stopped for a moment, “Actually I'm sorry for not really payin’ attention to you much at all lately, things have been…stressful, and painful, but you didn't deserve the distance, I'm sorry” he looked down and the dancing slowed.

You watched and listened to this, it made your heart ache thinking of everything that's happened to him. You loved him more than anything, more than life itself, but most people took him for granted, and that hurt.

“Coop, look at me” you took your hands and held the sides of his face to make him look down at you again, “It’s okay, I know what you've been through, I know it's been so stressful and you've been hurting, but I'll always be here for you, I love you so much, more than words, and I'll stand by you for the rest of our life together, I love you”

You pulled him down and his lips met yours, he melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around your whole body, keeping your warmth against him. Letting out an exasperated breath, he relaxed and leant into you and your arms linked around his neck to further deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you two just looked into each other's eyes. His amber eyes radiated with the orange sky setting through the window, the green hints flickered like filtered leaves.

“You're beautiful you know that Y/N…” he said dreamily after a while of him studying your face too, “How did I ever deserve you?”

You smiled at his sweet words and gave him another kiss.

“I love you so so much Coop, now please keep dancing with me…”

A/N: Thank you for reading! It's been a while, but I absolutely love Cooper Howard/The Ghoul and the Fallout series, so here I am 😍

Do not borrow/translate/steal

[nebulablakemurphy]

Moves & Countermoves (Part 24)

Part 23

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

“Lean your head back, so I can rinse.” Y/N instructs Katniss, gently.

It’s been two weeks back in twelve. The Abernathy family, Katniss, Cashmere and Johanna. Peeta had to stay behind, not quite ready to be exposed to all the potential triggers of home.

Cashmere and Madge had no problem cozying up in the Abernathy home. However Katniss keeps to her own house in Victor’s Village and Johanna has agreed to stay in the house gifted to Y/N after her win. Finnick and Annie will visit too, of course. After the baby.

The girl on fire sits in the tub, knees pulled up to her chest, with both arms around them, as her former mentor washes her hair. Katniss can’t bring herself to do much these days. Rotting away on the couch, after Prim… But Y/N is nothing if not stubborn and loves Katniss more than her own mother ever could.

When Y/N is finished, she leaves Katniss to dry off. “I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Katniss blinks at her, nodding. She does not speak.

Y/N returns to her own home, bustling with life. Nothing here is still. The victor dances past her oldest daughter, twirling about the living room to music. Moving carefully behind the house of cards that Everest and Cashmere are building on the dining table and into the kitchen.

Haymitch follows her there, Daisy in his arms. He hardly puts her down. “How is she?” Katniss.

Y/N sucks in a breath. “You should go see her, Haymitch. Maybe she’ll talk to you.”

“What makes you think she’ll talk to me?”

“Because you understand each other.” Y/N says, “I love her, she knows I do. But it’s not the same. She needs you.”

“And if you’re wrong?” Haymitch frowns, “if it sets her off? Makes it worse?”

“The last thing Katniss needs right now, is to feel like another person has abandoned her.” Like her mother. Like Gale. “Especially you. You don’t have to say anything, just be there.” Y/N wrings her hands, anxiously. “Please.”

Haymitch shakes his head, bouncing between feet, when Daisy begins to fuss. “The things I do for you.”

Y/N half smiles, “gimme the baby.”

At this he hesitates. It is hard enough being in a separate room from his children. Or not to holler in protest, each time Y/N moves out of his sight.

“Haymitch?” Y/N rests a hand against his back.

It’s not you, it’s me. “Here.” He forces a smile, passing off their child.

“Haymitch, what’s wrong?” Y/N wonders, adjusting the infant in her arms.

“Nothing.” He clears his throat, “it’s nothing.”

“But-”

“I love you.” Haymitch tells his wife, pecking a kiss to her lips, “nothing’s wrong.”

Y/N pulls back, slightly, studying him. “I love you too.”

He pats her cheek, in parting. Hurrying out the door, before Y/N can get a word in.

“You guys are disgusting.” Johanna remarks, leaning heavily against the refrigerator.

Y/N murmurs. “Yeah.”

“I’m out of eggs.” Johanna adds, to explain her presence.

“We have plenty. Help yourself.” Y/N waves toward the fridge.

“There’s something wrong with him.”

“I know.”

“What are you gonna do about it? You’re Mrs. Fix It. That’s why we’re all here. So you can fix us.” Johanna scoffs, “you can’t even fix yourself.”

“I can,” Y/N cuts her off. “I will.”

“You think I haven’t noticed there’s a room you can’t even go in?” Johanna continues.

“It’s not what you think.”

“I think you’re afraid of old hunks of metal that used to record you getting your rocks off.” Johanna crosses both arms over her chest. “They can’t hurt you.”

“They can hurt me.” Y/N purses her lips, “they did.”

“You should get rid of them.” Johanna suggests.

“I can’t.” I just can’t.

“My head doctor would call it ‘exposure therapy.’”

“Will you help me?”

Johanna huffs a laugh. “What are friends for?”

————————————————————————

That night, after the children are fast asleep, Y/N tosses and turns in bed.

“Just say it.” Haymitch snaps.

“It’s nothing.” Y/N whispers, “I’m sorry.” She turns away from Haymitch, nuzzling her back against his chest, until he has no choice but to wrap his arms around her.

“Angel,” Haymitch pauses, trying to find the right words. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Done what?”

“Been free.” Haymitch confesses, “not since the games, never as an adult. Never as a husband or a father; and I am terrified that at any moment, all of this is going to be taken away from me.”

Y/N squeezes his hand, a bit tighter. “Sometimes I think that too.” We’ve been playing the game too long. “Do you think we’ll get used to it? Being free?”

Haymitch sighs, pressing his lips to her shoulder. “I hope so, angel.”

This is new. Haymitch having hope. “Me too.”

————————————————————————

Nights bleed into days. Days into weeks.

Daisy naps contently, in the sling against Y/N’s chest, while she tidies the kitchen.

Everest and Haymitch have set out to pluck weeds from the pathway between houses of Victor’s Village.

Arista is playing in the backyard.

The birds chirp.

The sun shines.

Then Arista screams. “Mommy!”

Y/N abandons the pan she is washing, into the sink, water still running, as she races toward the sound of her daughter’s voice. “Arista!”

“Mommy! Daddy! Hurry!”

Haymitch and Everest rush toward her cry. “Arista!”

Y/N finds her first, at the far edge of their yard, hunched over a mass of white feathers. “Arista? Are you ok?”

“He came back.” Arista tells her mother, with overjoyed tears in her eyes. “Louie came back.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Y/N chokes down the panic that has risen in her throat. “That’s wonderful.”

Everest comes to a stop beside his mother, panting as he takes in the scene before him. “She’s ok?”

“Yeah,” Y/N reaches a hand over, to ruffle his hair. “We’re all ok now.”

Haymitch joins them last, out of breath, face flushed. “Is everything-”

Y/N turns to him, with a grin. “Louie came home.”

“It’s just the goose.” Haymitch can’t help but laugh. “Just the god damn goose.”

————————————————————————

That night, at dinner, with Madge, Cashmere, Johanna and even Katniss, the phone rings. The sound of it still jarring, after being without a form of easy communication between districts for so long.

Maybe it’s Annie and Finnick.

Maybe there is news in the Capitol.

Maybe Effie.

“I’ll get it.” Johanna volunteers.

Y/N holds up a hand, not wanting to speak with a mouthful of food.

“Or not.”

“I’ve got it.” Y/N excuses herself from the table, into the hallway. Lifting the phone from the receiver to her ear; heart pounding. “Hello.”

“Y/N, it’s me.”

Her free hand comes up to her heart, attempting to quiet the ache. “Peeta, hi. How are you?”

“Better, I’m good.”

“That’s good, honey.” Y/N blinks back tears. “That’s so good to hear.”

“Dr. Aurelius says I’m free to leave the hospital, as long as I keep up with sessions over the phone.” He sounds nervous, like the other shoe is about to drop.

Maybe he’s staying with Effie in the Capitol.

“The train leaves tomorrow morning.”

“Can I- I’ll come get you from the train station?”

“Yes.” Peeta says, immediately. “That would be great.”

“Ok,” Y/N breathes, “that’s perfect. I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004 @sendhelplease @ninimackbrews @wittiestrain184 @r1dd1kulus @erenluvr69 @helpimhyperfixating @jackierose902109 @jellybear455 @dreammgc @dadbodfanatic-x @ftdtcmlovr @inky-sun @ms-brek-ker @undercover55655 @mischiefmanaged21 @avoxrising @koiphisch @drwho-ess @daisydaisybilly @misfits1a @nj01 @eruannaaa-blog @thatkindofgurl @solikeapparently @innercreationflower @nicksolemnlyswears @a-sweet-little-fangirl @champomiel @kate654 @maladptivedreamer @rainbow12346 @gabwitch99-blog @theseerbetweenus @qvnthesia @prettybiching @izziebreeziel @anneliese500 @scoliobean @mariechristine00 @hoslunix @frstlght @winter-jensen

[cheolhub]

birthday bash ask!!~

let’s eat (🤤)- sarrrr this is dangerous!! i’m going to have to request mr kim mingyu (you know!!) and i’ll let you decide on a prompt(s) to use! (trust you with my all! gimme a dm if u want me to choose hehe)

5:13 p.m. — kim mingyu

prompt. “you're so good for me, so fucking good around me, fucking made for me. “

wc. 955

warning. mingyu fucks reader in a dryer (very unrealistic), needy!gyu, baby fever + marriage kink (my fav combo), use of mommy [x1], unprotected sex, creampie, manhandling, SO much dirty talk, pet names [baby, angel] — MINORS DNI 18+

note. thank u for sending in an ask lu,, i’m so sorry if you dont like the piece or the prompt i used !!! i know it’s a lil intense and lacks a lot of detail 😭 i was in the mood to write needy gyu with baby fever without thinking abt logistics so,,, here it is (also im sorry it’s so short </3) [not proofread if u see a typo, i literally didn’t write this]

mingyu is a sucker. you’re not sure there’s a diagnosis for what he has other than a severe case of baby fever. it's not when he sees babies that sets him off, no, it’s you. you doing anything remotely domestic like chores around the house for that matter. when you’re cooking him dinner, loading the dishwasher, dusting and sweeping in your cute little house slippers, and his personal favorite, unloading the dryer.

to put it simply, he just can’t wait to give you a baby so he can come home and spoil his gorgeous little family. the mere mention of even wanting a future with him has him weak in the knees. 

it’s why your his shirt is flipped over your ass and your panties are pushed halfway down your legs the second he finds you in the laundry room. “gyu, what the fuck are you– ah!” you cry out feeling his spit-slicked cock slip inside of you. you fall into the pile of warm clothes, the smell of clean linen filling your nose. “baby!”

mingyu groans, cock twitching at the word that’s had his head spinning for weeks, “that’s right, ‘m gonna give you a baby, angel,” he says, hands gripping your hips for dear life, the flesh of your skin nearly interlaced between his fingers. 

you moan loudly, but it’s muffled by the wild white sheets in the machine. your skin burns up as if it weren’t already on fire thanks to the fresh heat of the dryer. you knew mingyu was ruthless and needy when it came to getting his dick wet, but never would you have thought you’d be in this position as he pounds into you.

“fuck, i love you so much. love you and this fucking pussy so so much. ‘m gonna fill you up ‘n ‘m gonna marry you,” he mutters, eyes watching the way you swallow his dick whole, disappearing as it goes in and out. “gonna make you a pretty little mommy, make you my fuckin’ wife.” 

you’re partially convinced that your boyfriend has gone crazy, but the words head straight to your core, the increase in your arousal solidifying everything mingyu had said. 

his breathing becomes labored, soft moans growing louder as they morph into deep groans. your ears pick all of it up even with the walls of the dryer attempting to drown him out. “tell me you wan’ it, angel, t-tell me you wan’na baby, a pretty ring… tell me you want me forever.” 

you just can’t say no, the offer is too good. you want everything and more with this man, so you tell him exactly what he wants to hear. “i do, i wan’ it, gyu, w-wanna make you a d-dad! w-wanna marry you!”

a guttural groan erupts in his chest and his thrusts pick up, the tip of his cock ramming into your cervix eliciting a loud, muffled cry as you scream into the cloth. “baby, you're so good for me, so fucking good around me, fucking made for me.” he babbles, overstimulated tears pricking at his eyes. “i’m so close, angel. gonna fill this cunt with all my cum ‘n get you pregnant. it’s gonna take. s-swear to fucking god, it’s gonna take.”

your hands mercilessly fist at the cotton, wrinkling it in your tight grasp. you think the heat from the freshly dried sheets melts your brain because now you’re sobbing, incoherently babbling out pleas, but the only thing that can be heard in the mess of your words is the chant of his nickname, “gyu, gyu, gyu!” you clench tightly around his cock, gummy walls molding to the shape of him as they’re made to.

and, fuck, mingyu’s abdomen tightens at the euphoric feeling. his balls draw up, thrusts turning sloppy and inconsistent as he fucks into you. “shit, baby,” he mewls, his grip on your hips near bruising. “i’m gonna cum.” 

all it takes is another tight hug from your cunt and he’s a mess. his cock throbs inside the heat of your stretched cunt before he slams into you and stills, his tip pressed right against your cervix as he empties his load. 

 it’s the ripple effect that triggers your own orgasm. you moan and whine as you feel his heavy seed filling you to the brim and painting your used walls white. all the while, the knot that’s been steadily forming in the pit of your tummy completely unravels and you’re left a shaking, crying mess inside a dryer full of wrinkled, tear soaked cotton. 

it takes him longer than usual to come down from his orgasm, but he eventually eases his grip on your waist as he finds his mind again. he pulls your near-limp body out of the dryer and you let out a broken whine as you feel his cock slip out, creating a mess of cum on the ground. he doesn’t really mind seeing his load go to waste knowing he’ll pump you full the second you’ve recovered.

you slump in his arms while he wordlessly presses kisses into your hair. when you whine again, he murmurs apologetically. “sorry i was so rough, are you okay?”

you nod, still trying to catch your breath and regain stability. “it’s okay. i’m okay. just need a sec,”

he doesn’t say anything for a minute or so, holding you in his arms till you’re able to stand on your own but then he whispers. “can we go again? are you up for it?”

you laugh softly at his need. “we can, but can we try the bed this time? do you think you’ll make it to our room without fucking me against one of the walls?”

he shrugs, grinning to himself. “we’ll see.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[slutforsilverfoxes]

What Happens in New York…

You took in a deep breath as soon as you crossed through the back door of the restaurant and into the parking lot, arms outstretched while you enjoyed the brisk New York air, and declared, “I gotta get me a new job.”

“What?” Sean, your best friend and roommate of several years, taunted from behind you, making up for your head start in a few long strides. “Waiting on rich people not cutting it for you anymore?”

“Waiting on rich, crusty old white men and their wives who seem to drop in age each year isn’t cutting it anymore,” you corrected his statement. “Now gimme that helmet,” you demanded with grabby fingers. “I wanna go home, watch Marvel movies, and finish that bottle of wine we opened on Monday.”

“Speaking of old white men,” the blonde started with a laugh, tossing you your helmet before sitting astride his motorcycle and strapping his own on, “my brother’s in town. Mind if I stop by to say hi?”

“Ah, yes, the G-man,” you nodded all-knowingly, tucking your legs up under you and getting settled behind Sean’s lithe body. “Is he seeing anyone?” Sean purposefully revved the bike and pretended like he couldn’t hear you, so you tapped aggressively on his visor until he turned to give you the stink eye. “I said is he seeing anyone, you dick?”

“What’s it to you, huh?”

“Well, the way you describe him, he’s probably got a nice pension and benefits going with all the hours he works. I could make a cute housewife!”

“Funny,” your best friend deadpanned. He used his foot to raise the kickstand before guiding the bike out to the main road. “Too bad for him, ‘cause you’re my cute housewife.”

“Gross.”

His ensuing laughter got lost in the New York traffic.

—————

“Do you wanna come in with me?” Sean asked as you hopped off the bike and stretched your legs outside of the precinct.

“Nah,” you shook your head in response and pulled out your phone. “You go ahead and see big bro. I’m taking full advantage of my allotted yard time.”

The blonde rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’re a riot. Be back soon.”

“Don’t get in a fight,” you called out lazily amid a yawn, breathing in the cold winter air to ward off your exhaustion.

Several minutes later, you were scrolling idly through your phone while you waited for your friend, leaning against his bike for support and stifling yet another yawn when the hairs at the nape of your neck stood at attention, and you suddenly felt the clarity of alertness.

“Hey there,” a voice called out from nearby, and you studiously ignored the lackluster greeting. It was followed by a whistle that was evidently supposed to woo you, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, stuffing one hand into your pocket and letting out a disgruntled noise when you weren’t rewarded by your headphones. “This your bike, little lady?”

“Why, you in the market?” you barked back, finally raising your gaze to meet that of an NYPD officer.

“Maybe I am,” he responded with a smile that set you even more on edge. “Wanna take me for a test ride?” His buddy behind him laughed at the innuendo, and this time you did roll your eyes.

“Hard pass.”

“C’mon, baby, you look like you could use some fun in your life,” he continued, and when he took a step closer, your hackles rose. Deciding that my best friend’s brother is an FBI agent wasn’t going to cut it, you answered coolly, “My boyfriend’s an FBI agent working in your office up there, and I don’t think he’d take kindly to you propositioning me outside your precinct. Honor and integrity and all that, right?” You forced your mouth into a smile that dropped when the officer removed the badge pinned to his jacket.

“I’m off the clock, sweetheart. And I don’t see your boyfriend anywhere.”

“Turn around.”

The rumble of an unfamiliar voice had you looking over the officer’s head to find the frowning visage of a handsome brunette with striking features. Sean came to your side protectively, murmuring, “Hey, you okay?” as the officer turned to look up at the imposing older Hotchner and stammered, “I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t know she was with you.”

The brunette tilted his head to one side and narrowed his eyes, and the air around him positively crackled with power. Quietly, he challenged, “And why should that matter?” As the officer opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, he took a step closer and dropped his voice even lower. “Go home to your wife, Officer-” His eyes darted over to the name tag before continuing, “-McNally, and be ready for a disciplinary hearing at some point this week, because I will be speaking to your supervisor directly.”

He nodded deferentially, refusing to make eye contact, and tried to scurry away, but Sean’s older brother barked, “Officer McNally! Isn’t there something you’d like to say to my girlfriend?”

“Sorry!” he called sheepishly, heat rising to his cheeks despite the chill outside. “Sorry, ma’am, won’t happen again.”

Sean and his brother watched until the officer and his friend had turned the corner, then directed their attention to you. “I hope that wasn’t your introduction to New York’s finest,” the older Hotchner remarked with a frown, holding his hand out to you. “I’m Aaron. Your boyfriend, apparently,” he tacked on, lips twitching to fight a smile.

A blush crept across your cheeks as you took his hand. “Y/N, Sean’s best friend. Sorry about all…that,” you said through a laugh, gesturing broadly at the scene that had just taken place.

“Please don’t apologize. It’s nice to be name dropped for a good reason,” Aaron responded warmly, this time allowing his mouth to turn upward in a genuine smile. Sean coughed pointedly beside you and you hurried to pull your hand from his brother’s grip, your face growing even warmer at the realization you’d been standing there holding his hand for several seconds like an absolute buffoon.

“Home, Sean- we should- gotta go,” you stammered out, wincing at your brain literally short circuiting from a single touch.

“Wow,” Sean breathed out through a laugh. “You actually broke her, Aaron.” Turning to you, he faux-whispered, “So you really do have a thing for older guys?”

“Woah, hey!” You yell to be heard through laughter in the present. “You did not say that,” you call your best friend on his bullshit, pointing a fork threateningly in his direction. Aaron gently lowers your wrist as you continue, “And I wasn’t that awestruck, okay? He was handsome, but I wasn’t like, drooling, guys, c’mon-”

“Maybe just a little,” your fiancé teases, eyes widening playfully when you turn the silverware on him next.

“Derek.” You turn to Aaron’s friend and declare, “You’re getting upgraded to best man and young Hotchner over there is being relegated to flower girl.”

Sean winks at you from his temporary spot on the floor where he’s regaling your friends and families with the story of how he introduced you two- at least, his version of the story. “Just so you know, I happen to look cute in a dress.”

“Have some more champagne, honey,” Aaron instructs with a smile as he refills your flute. You dutifully take a sip and mumble around the glass, “You’re not giving this speech tomorrow, Sean.”

“Speech?” Your best friend barks out a laugh, and you narrow your eyes at him in suspicion. “Baby girl, I’ve got a whole PowerPoint documenting your journey into the family, don’t you worry. Pictures and everything.”

“Aaron,” you whine. “Make it stop.”

“You really know how to pick ‘em,” Aaron laughs before pressing a kiss to your pouting lips.

“Clearly,” you grumble. “You Hotchner men will be the death of me.”

—————

[A/N: Why did I write this? Who’s to say? I love a lil brother vibe, might have to explore more of Sean’s bff as Aaron’s girl 👀 Hope somebody enjoyed this crack]

AH tags 🖤 @gothwifehotchner

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin]

Kidnapping

Spencer and the gang are called in for a case. Morgan and J.J are the last to enter Garcia’s office.

“Brief us baby girl” Morgan said as he sat down beside Reid.

“Right well, this girl was held at gunpoint” Penelope put up the girl's picture on the screen. “But then someone tried to defuse the situation when the gunman, now a kidnapper, took her, no reason as to why, and the reason we’re involved is because the kidnapper is our unsub,” Penelope finished.

“She’s pretty,” Morgan said. “Spencer what do you think” Morgan nugged Spence. Today Spencer was deep in thought; he was thinking of multiple different ideas permitting from one single thought.

How would I go about this

“Spence”

“Mmhm su-” He raised his head and looked at the screen and all colour drained from his face. Spencer took out his phone and started to dial. ”Something you’d like to share with the class Spencer?” Morgan asked but Spencer ignored him. The phone went off to voicemail.

“Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit” Spencer dialled again yet was only greeted with the same voicemail.

Hey its y/n i might be a little busy so either leave a message or call back later alright

The gang was stunned. Spencer never swore.

“Spencer, Spencer finally looked at Morgan, his eyes wide.

“That is my, that’s y/n she’s my girlfriend, I-” Spencer started to speak an entirely different language.

“Spencer we’ll find her” Hotch said, he’d never seen Reid like this.

Spencer’s phone starts ringing and it’s y/n. He immediately answers it and puts it on speaker. He sets it down on the table as he tries to calm himself down.

“Y/-” But he’s cut off by a man’s voice.

“SHUT UP I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT SAVE YOUR BITCH ASS LIFE” there’s a loud smack and someone shouts.

“UNTIE ME ASSHOLE AND LET’S SEE WHO'S THE BITCH HE-” Y/n is cut off by her kidnapper stuffing cloth in her mouth.

The team was shocked at what y/n said because most people would be a mess if they were kidnapped by y/n seemed not only agitated but in the right state of mind.

“Who is this?” Spencer demands his voice so sharp that Derek has to do a double take. “And what did you just do”

“Someone who has your wife at gunpoint” Morgan glances at Hotch. Wife? ”What I did to her, I just shut her up”

“What do you want” Spencer sounded calm but to his teammates, his erratic eye movement, how he keeps clenching and unclenching his fingers and how he briefly pulls his hair before going back to clenching his fingers.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this you know” the kidnapper completely ignored Spencer’s question. “It was a simple robbery, all she had to do was gimme her wallet, but nooo this little bitch had something to say” the kidnapper pulls y/n hair making her scream into the gag.

“AND I STILL HAVE SOMET-” another smack could be heard.

“Stop hitting her” Spencer could feel his self control slipping

“Oh don’t worry hubby she’s out cold, now I’m going to make her pay for her rudeness”

“Why did you call me,”

“To know if the contact name Hubby served what i think it does”

“And what do you think it serves”

“The person who’s going to bury this bitch” the kidnapper hangs up and Spencer all but reaches for his phone to toss it.

“What’s our game plan?” Penelope asks.

“Well,” Morgan starts. “I think Spence should start,”

Spencer looks at them, he sighs before he speaks.

“Y/n L/n is my girlfriend but technically by Las Vegas laws we're married”

Derek starts. “You had a girlfriend-wife and you never told us” Spencer keeps his eyes on the phone in front of him.

“I was going to tell you guys”

“When”

“When I got her to say yes” Spencer’s shoulders drooped.

“You were gonna re-propose?”

“Yes,” Spencer took out a black box from his coat pocket. “Tonight, I had everything planned”

“Spencer '' Morgan clasps Spencer’s shoulder. “We will find her, that’s what we do,”

They team except for Garcia go to the scene of the crime. It’s a fast food restaurant.

“She loves their burgers,” Spencer chuckles before looking at the building opposite.

“We’ll never know what she bought till we find her,”

“That’s where we start,” Aaron says as he points over to the tiny camera on its ceiling. Spencer and Derek go in as JJ calls Emily and Rossi over from interrogating a customer. Derek and Spencer meet a burly 30 something man.

“No I ayn’t geeving ya my CCTV, gyet lawst,”

“Derek, could you wait outside for a second,” Derek without question steps out. Hotch and the rest later notice.

“Why are you out here?”

“Spencer,” Derek shrugs.

“Wh-”

The door opens and Spencer is holding a tape.

“What did you do?”

“I asked him for it,” Spencer hands the tape to Derek. Derek looks at him skeptically, “I promise I didn’t hurt him,”

Find CCtv footage of the car y/n was kidnapped in

Track it down to somewhere in the middle of nowhere

Find it in front of a house

*They surround the house and get inside but the kidnapper dude already has y/n is his hands with a gun to her head.

Spencer comes from behind and shoots him in the hand holding the gun his shot being through and through

*Y/n tries to strangle the dude but Spencer grabs her from behind and pulls her away *

"LET ME GO, LET ME AT HIM," y/n yells as Reid holds her in. "LET. ME. AT. HIM."

"Calm down sunshine," Reid whispers in your ear. “He’s down,” he says as he rests hims face in your hair.

"Reid!? Reid,'' He spins you in his arms and hugs you bringing you close; he doesn't kiss you because you are surrounded by an audience.

"I thought I might have lost you" you nestle into his neck.

"You will never lose me Spence not if I have anything to say about it" You let go. “Can I atleast land one hit, I promise just one,” Spencer for the first time during this 3 day period, smiles.

"Spencer,” JJ called. "How about you do take care of this one, yeah"

Spencer nodded and took you home. Some of his clothes were at your place, so he didn’t bother stopping at his place.

He filled up your tub and undressed you. He wanted to let you be but you didn't let him. He slipped in behind you and he held you. For a long time.

"Tell me what you remember, sunshine, come on, let it out don't be all strong and brave, be weak and fragile, right here, right now,"

You leaned into him and before you knew it you were crying.

You never felt so helpless. You told him what happened. How it felt being held at gunpoint for the first time. How it felt being shoved into the car. The turns, right, left, left again.

The car stopping and him getting out and tossing her on the ground. Blacking out. Waking up in a wooden chair, tied down. Him slapping you twice for talking back at him.

Taking your phone.

Calling Spencer

His voice woke her up.

She wanted to cry then.

"Hey baby come on let it all out, studies show that the more you cry the more likely you'll recover from violent otherwise traumatic events an-"

"Sp-Spencer"

"Yeah sunshine"

"I love you okay"

"I love you more" Spencer takes the loofa and scrubs your feet, “If you want to stop we can”

“I- you- you need to know right?” I sob. “Your job”

“I don’t need to put down everything sometimes” Spencer stops what he’s doing and he comes back to you, “This is one of those times, okay?”

“O-okay” I sniff and sob. “I’m a mess,”

“I like everything about you about you even your mess”

“It’s sta-statistically proven th-that woman who show a sign of distress or a misery in a relationship tend to end up breaking the r-”

“Baby that’s rubbish, if you read that off a site it needs to be taken down” Spencer holds your head in his arms. “That’s a lie right there, this will never break, it’s actually the opposite see-” He stops when he notices the smile on my face.

“Spence”

“Yes sunshine”

“I’m joking” he rolls his eyes at you but you can see the smile tugging at his lips

He takes you out and cleans you before cleaning himself. He changes you into matching pyjamas. “Now as your doctor, I suggest bed rest with your boyfriend” you giggle.

“I like that treatment plan”

“So does your boyfriend”

Spencer stays by your side the entire night. The proposal can wait another day.