#gift bag supremacy/gift box master race in this house

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Tim Drake x GN!Reader in: And Now You Know (So Please Never Ask Again)

12 Days of Batmas || Day 4—Wrapping Presents

↞ previous: day 3: mall madness || getting lost in the mall

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dames day 4 | dick day 4 | jay day 4 ||

“‘Aww come on babe, how bad can it beeee?”

…the answer to that foolish question has turned out to be ‘Pretty damn bad’…

He doesn’t fail often, but when he does it’s usually in the most ridiculous way possible…

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Headcanon || WC: ~700

🌟 The king of gift boxes/bags.

🌟 Look, he gets that tearing the wrapping paper off (or gently removing and preserving the integrity of it, if you’re that way inclined) of a gift is half the fun, but…

🌟 …he’s terrible at wrapping stuff.

🌟 Don’t worry, he’s fully aware of how ridiculous that is as:

First and foremost, he’s a gd Bat. He can hit a target the size of a penny on the other side of the room with Kobe-like precision, never mind the hand-eye coordination needed to wield a bo staff half as well he does.

Secondly, he plays so many video games that said hand-eye coordination has been further honed into a fine point.

And finally—he’s a grown ass adult.

By his estimation all of these factors should allow for him to wrap a fucking present and not have it look like something an enthusiastic toddler cobbled together and yet…

🌟 Look, he’s trying his best here, but– He’s just bad at it, guys. Like really, really bad and it doesn’t make any sense and it annoys him to no end but there doesn’t seem to be anything for it.

Somehow he always manages to cut the wrapping paper either too damn small or comically large.

Tape. So much tape all over the place.

The creases are never straight and he always manages to wrinkle or tear (usually both) the wrapping paper.

Also papercuts are a thing that almost always happens and though he has been in far worse pain, there’s just something special about the stinging throb of a papercut that makes him want to avoid the things at all costs.

🌟 He’s asked Alfie for lessons, but they didn’t stick for whatever reason.

He’s briefly contemplated asking his brothers and-or Bruce for help but ultimately decided that the resulting, incessant teasing wouldn’t be worth it, like at all.

🌟 Also high-key blames the whole thing on the biologicals’ janky parenting. They were so obsessed with him being a little genius that they didn’t do normal kid stuff with him.

There was no sitting around drinking coco and wrapping presents in the Drake household.

Any and all gifts were wrapped by professionals and placed (by their maid) under their immaculately trimmed tree (which was also decorated by professionals).

For Tim the holidays felt real mass produced before Alfred and the rest came along, but I digress so let’s move on…

🌟 He has also contemplated letting Amazon/store workers wrap his gifts for him, but that feels like cheating for some reason?

Yes, he’s well aware that this makes no sense, but it’s how he feels in his heart of hearts lmao.

((Definitely has everything to do with what was mentioned above))

Though if it’s for something more upscale—like a wedding, for example—he’ll cave and let a professional handle it.

🌟 So yeah, boxes and bags are his jam, and he always picks out really cute, hella expensive ones.

You’re never gonna get something with a basic pattern, or more boring yet, a flat solid color. He always makes sure to get something that matches your tastes and-or the occasion.

And he always makes sure to get all the fixings to go in the bags. Tbh by the time he’s done with the things they look like something out of a Hallmark display case.

But uhh… We’re… we’re not gonna talk about that time that he tried to make you a bag by hand (per Dick’s pestering). Let’s just say that level of DIY/arts and crafts projects aren’t his thing and move on lol.

🌟 If you’re one of those people (like me) who don’t really care for all the frills then he honestly may love you just that little bit more.

Do you know how many times he’s wanted to just slap a bow on a gift and call it a damn day?

Spoiler: It’s Every. Fucking. Time.

🌟 So in conclusion:

🌟 ((Is this meme even still relevant? Idk, I’m too old to care, tbh, and Drake’s face in the second pic still makes me chuckle so…))

And Now You Know (So Please Never Ask Again) || WC: ~400

“‘Aww come on babe, how bad can it beeee?’ Pfft.”

You snort at the mocking approximation of your voice. You do not sound like that—or at least you don’t think you do. Either way, the answer to that foolish question has turned out to be ‘Pretty damn bad’, but before you can comment Tim’s defeated sigh crescendos into a frustrated growl.

He tosses the tape he’d been battling with for the past minute aside with enough force that it bounces off of the table to land amongst the pile of discarded wads of wrapping paper with a dull clatter. You’re fairly certain that the thin plastic casing is cracked now, but given that the edge had gotten stuck to the roll (and is now subsequently lost to you for all time) you figure it doesn’t matter overmuch. 

When he told you that he wasn’t the best at wrapping gifts you were inclined to believe him—after all, Tim’s honest to the point of self-deprecation when it comes to his shortcomings—but you honestly hadn’t thought that he would be this bad. In fact you didn’t know that it was humanly possible to be this level of terrible at something so simple, and yet you’ve got several mangled rolls of paper, an entire bag’s worth of crushed bows, and several bandaged fingers that tell the harrowing tale.

You open your arms to him then, and though he’s low-key glaring and high-key pouting the whole time he settles into your warmth just the same. As you run your fingers through his messy mop of curls you feel him relaxing by increments until he’s all but boneless against you. Between the lulling, repetitive motion and the metronome of your heartbeat it comes as no surprise that Tim literally falls asleep on you, not that you mind one bit. His weight is a welcome one, grounding and secure.

Eventually you’re going to have to package your gifts one way or another, but that’s Future You’s problem. For now you’re more than content to give in to the slumber that tugs at the edges of your consciousness. You pull your man impossibly closer, sighing in the way of the terminally lovesick when he squeezes you in kind, and allow yourself to drift away…

Up Next:

🌟 Day 5: Live Petty or Die Hard || Ugly Sweaters

“Tim, baby, is it really that serious?”

He looks away from his soldering work just long enough to give you a look that says, ‘Yes, darling, it really, really is’…

He can be petty as hell, sure, but you kinda-sorta love him for it.

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