#gideon's got beef and this time its PERSONAL

[vvitchering]

One of the things I think this season really suffered from was lack of a physically present villain and MAN I am so annoyed it took them until now to dust off Moff Gideon and get him back in the game. He was excellent in today's episode and having him back to love to hate immediately boosts my interest in the show. To reintroduce him wearing beskar armor as a way to desecrate and mock Mandalorian culture was actually one of the best creative decisions in the entire show so far. This man is unhinged. He is despicable. He is evil.

[cruelsister-moved2]

Im the hater anon omg i didnt mean to lead u astray but i haven't finished it i'm just over half done. i probably will finish just so i can coherently say why i don't like it bc rn my thoughts are all over the place but  u hit all the major points im like nodding and taking notes rn.  Its very shallow lore wise like its all overly complex exposition that barely effects the plot. I could write about this for 100 years but basically it was boring and i just feel like it has nothing to say like theres no purpose or message and i think speculative stuff should have SOME weight behind it idk.  That paired w how the writing itself is like..not pretty or artful or anything………………….

And on top of that its not even actually funny. Instead of real jokes its just 100 million mcu quips awkwardly inserted so that no situation is ever treated genuinely or seriously or with depth. For example. My personal least favorite part beyond general quality so far is how often they bring up gideon being inappropriately horny… idk how else to word it.. Its one of her 3 personality traits. they mention her porn collection i swear every couple of pages. its played 4 jokes but like the rest of it its literally unfunny and feels so out of place. Like this is right when they just discovered an incinerated body → ”she looked troubled, which made Gideon sad, but she was also soaked right through to the skin, which made Gideon need a lie-down.” Its like if someone whose only point of reference was tiktok during that era where every vaguely masc woman got made fun of for being a quote hey mamas lesbian unquote tried to write a masc woman.  Reading it as a masc lesbian myself is just sort of embarrassing idk if other ppl feel differently but it just feels overplayed and goofy. 

Anyways… this is all very long and incoherent but thank u for complaining and vindicating me… i started reading it a couple days ago on a whim bc ive been seeing ppl talk abt it a lot lately and i was instantly SOOOOO disappointed. Part of it was definitely that i was expecting something very different because of how people talk about it but also its just like bad. Its insane. I also had no idea abt the roachpatrol thing so ummmmmm :(

hiiiiiiiiii omg so your suffering isn't even over yet my condolences.

the worldbuilding exposition industrial complex needs to end im so serious. I just had such a nice conversation with some writer friends about soft vs hard magic systems and world-building and how frustratingly common the assumption that more complex lore you dump the more sophisticated your story is at the moment. in reality many more sophisticated stories deliberately utilise abstraction and whimsy for thematic statements. v happy for brandon sanderson fans but again, a lot of those stories are basically like mystery novels except the magic is the mystery, whereas the speculative fiction authors who... actually speculate...are often using it as a tool to speculate about our own existence.

and the writing is so ugly like I've read a couple of chapters and I feel like i could get through a mid story if it's at least well written but it wasn't even inoffensive it was actively offputting like that prose was stinkyyyyyyyyy..... and the quips exactlyyy like who is laughing at none pizza with left beef anymore and the fact a lot of it isn't even the author being witty but just like. a reference to a meme? it's literally supposed to be like gritty but then everyone is memeing and quipping all the time how are you meant to take that seriously?

and okay the like sexualisation of Gideon had kind of been my suspicion but I hadn't read enough to make that claim for certain so. that's disappointing to have it confirmed. given that the author is a fem woman who calls herself a lesbian whilst being homestuck married to a guy, it really brings up some kind of discomfort in me to be using masc women that way and making a joke out of them and their sexuality and calling them himbos and shit like. it really doesn't seem like she actually knows any masc women??? and when that was a huge part of the marketing for the book it comes to feel exploitative.

one thing to be aware is that tor like. pushed it really hard marketing-wise for whatever reason. I guess they feel it symbolises a new era of sci-fi and like were using it as an outreach effort to engage the generation that mostly only reads fan fiction or whatever which I guess cheers if it achieves that. but the majority of negative reviews are specifically that it was nothing like what they expected it to be, because of the.... super gimmicky marketing.

the tagline being sword necromancer lesbians in space or something so lame 😭 and it really seems like the elements came first and the justification came second so it's never really explained why they use swords instead of more technologically advanced weapons (bc the answer is 'it sounds cool') or really why it needs to be in space at all (because the answer is 'it sounds cool'). even the necromancy is supposedly fairly tangential and ive seen people be underwhelmed how much actual lesbianism is involved too 💀

9mbut yeah the r0ach patr0l thing I wish people were more aware of because honestly above anything else, I've seen people who were fans and then found this out and felt super uncomfortable so I think people deserve to know what kind of background she has, and this is literally where she developed her writing and her name as a BNF so it's directly connected to her current career not just like a celebrity who tweeted something dumb when they were 14. like I think it's fair to take that into account + idk it's INTERESTING to me that she went from that to debuting with a masc lesbian whom she projects like comic hypersexuality onto it really is all much to think about truly

[theriverbeyond]

wait hold on a sec. im putting something together. im thinking.

basically what if we got it all reversed. what if Harrow Gideon's special extra lyctoral abilities (super healing, seeing inside another lyctor) were not because of Gideon and God, but from Harrow, and her haunting by The Body?

Harrow has been haunted by The Body (Alecto/Nona) since she was a child and saw her in the Tomb. she lost time as a child, and Crux said she "went places". so Alecto could have been posessing her all the way since them.

Nona (Alecto) has ridiculous perceptual abilities. she knows all languages, including all types of communication including body language, and screaming, and she knows when someone lies in any of them.

Nona has a higher healing factor than anyone else in the book besides maybe John, such that she can do the makeshift entropy challenge with no necromantic help at all, and survive getting shot in the brain with guns, and swim amongst deadly jellyfish unaffected.

John healed from being atomatized, but Mercymorn didn't heal from being exploded.

John can't get beyond lyctoral privacy. being God doesn't give him that.

i am thinking about the interaction between body and soul. which has not been fully explained but Is Complicated, and therefore worth bringing up.

Gideon-in-Harrow grew back thumbs on the Mithraeum, and healed a destroyed skull and brain on the Mithraeum, and Harrow as a lyctor could read the inside of Cytherea's body. and i am also thinking way back to when Gideon (with Harrow on board) could see lights in the construct in Pyrrha's Trial.

Kiriona Gaia is dead. full blown corpse. and back on the Ninth, Gideon couldn't heal a concussion faster than a normal person despite her immunity to baby killing gas. and Kiriona's corpse, though she is housing a soul and moving around, has bloodless & never-healed wounds.

we KNOW that Harrow Gideon (lyctor edition) has unexplained abilities directly contrary to what we learned about lyctorhood and its limitations. I am just less and less convinvinced that the inconsistency is only because of Gideon's connection to John, and i am more and more convinced that this inconsistancy is super intentional and explained by.... something. could Harrow Gideon's ability to see inside cytherea be related to Alecto being able to understand all languages and percieve all lies? the inner workings of the physical body could be some kind of body language. hiding the things inside you from the view of others could be some kind of lie. and could their ridiculous healing be related to the healing ability that Nona/Alecto have, that is only matched by John, who got his powers from her to begin with? because Kiriona Gaia ft. speedholes, the fully realized daughter of God and heir to the Empire, sure doesn't have that ability. i just KNOW there's more to it and im chewing on it all like beef jerky.

[gothprentiss]

cm evolution spoilers i have simply got one thing to say

when emily prentiss said “a long time ago gideon told me to make sure i didn’t go quiet because it meant i stopped trusting my team” ….. !!!!!!!!!

now maybe it’s just because i have 2 chapters left of a s2 fic where i’m trying to fucking write him mentoring her but also! miss goes quiet herself having to dispatch that advice and mean it… and finally some decent memoriam for gideon considering the absolute piss on his memory that was the death of gideon episode…

also when rossi goes “you’re a better person than me” to her and she pulls a face? this is such minor beef but months ago i saw someone post some truly wild thing about how all emily prentiss wanted was to be a good person which struck me as totally out of whack with everything about her and also like, entirely beyond how she thinks about morality and her own status, and anyway my point is that her reaction struck me as less “no i’m not frowny frowny tormented woe” and more like “what the fuck are you talking about. i cannot say this because you’re hurting. but what the fuck.” probably a niche take! but like the good/bad person thing (e.g. reid in prison arc) has always struck me as one of the show’s most obvious deteriorations in quality, since it’s not really its lexicon early on— there’s a backslide from “what allows us to do what we do? how can we draw moral distinctions? how can we uphold a sense of rightness?” to some very babybrained good/bad ontological nonsense.

it’s also interesting that the like, “you’re a better person than me” bit essentially hinges on the fact that she’s their boss and doing her job— like the ethical (nay, moral?) burdens in the show always correspond to hierarchy, so emily letting rossi get away with shit has a positive moral valence, whereas him doing shit has a negative one. again i think the way this show assigns goodness and badness (where once it assigned rightness and wrongness, righteousness and deviance, etc.) is so fascinating and it’ll be interesting to see where emily prentiss better person arc takes us

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

11 eating competitions that will leave you disgusted — but impressed

You've probably heard of competitive eating, those food challenges in which people consume ungodly amounts as fast as they can, battling it out for cash prizes as high as $10,000. These challenges span the globe, are broadcast on ESPN, and include just about anything edible: jalapeños, shrimp cocktail, and gyoza, to name just a few. 

They've also got history. In a story from the 1400s, notes Eater, a Nordic man enters an eating competition with a god. In the 1700s, poet James Taylor wrote of the "Great Eater of Kent," whom, Atlas Obscura reports, ate "some 60 eggs, a good portion of a lamb, and a handful of pies — a meal that left him hungry for more."

SEE ALSO: Instagram dedicated to perfectly plated dishes will make you appreciate tweezer food

As for today's competitions, food is supplied by organizers, and participants typically register via Major League Eating's website — the organization that oversees all professional eating competitions. Usually entry is free.

Competitive eaters, like the surprisingly slim 24-year-old YouTube star Matt Stonie, told GQ that when he's gearing up for a competition, he'll eat anywhere from 10,000 to 22,000 calories a day. In a 2015 interview with GQ, Joey Chestnut, the top-ranked eater in the world, said he only binges on solid food once every five days when he's in practice-mode.

The sport comes with its own set of risks, like asphyxiation, which has killed several competitive eaters, as well as morbid obesity, gastric ruptures, gastroparesis, and eating disorders, according to USA Today. But you don't need to be a professional eater to enjoy the competitions. We compiled the 11 best, weirdest, and most disgusting we could find. Get ready to be grossed out, but also impressed.

11. The Vaughan Pizza Fest World Pizza Eating Contest

Can you even finish one regular pizza?

Image: Tim Hawley/Getty Images

At the Vaughan Pizza Fest World Pizza Eating Contest in Woodbridge, Ontario, competitors feast on as many personal pizzas as possible in record time. 

At the third annual event, which took place in July of 2018, Geoff Esper broke a world record by eating 19.25 9-inch personal pizzas within 10 minutes, according to a Major League Eating report. 

His prize for devouring those mini pizzas, supplied by Pie: Wood Fired Pizza Joint, was $4,000. Cash and free pizza? Not too shabby.

 It's inconclusive what, if any, toppings made it onto the pies. 

10. Smoke’s Poutinerie World Poutine Eating Championship

Competitive poutine eating on a Saturday afternoon. #wpec2017 #worldpoutineeatingchampionship #competitiveeating #poutine

A post shared by Marlene Benedicto (@tastingtorontoonwheels) on Oct 14, 2017 at 8:15pm PDT

Major League Eaters from all over the world head to Toronto for this annual competition to see how much of the popular Quebec dish consisting of French fries topped with cheese curds and gravy they can consume.  

2017's poutine-eating winner, Carmen Cincotti, the number two eater in the world, ate a little over 20 pounds of poutine in 10 minutes, taking home a $6,000 prize. The competition returns for its ninth year on October 13, 2018.

According to Smoke’s Poutinerie, since it began in 2016 the event has helped raise more than $100,000 in donations, which support Friends of We Care in sending children with disabilities to summer camp. That's probably the nicest possible outcome of a bunch of adults eating a massive amount of cheese curds and gravy for public enjoyment.

9. La Costeña Jalapeño Eating Contest 

Can you even imagine eating just one of these whole?

Image: Shutterstock / Hong Vo

The thought of eating just one jalapeño is enough to make my eyes water. Imagine eating 265! 

Molly Schuyler won a $1,500 grand prize for doing just that at the 2018 WBCA Jalapeño Festival's La Costeña Jalapeño Eating Contest in Laredo, Texas. 

While the festival has just passed its 40 year anniversary, it's unclear when people began competitively stuffing spicy peppers into their mouths for cash prizes.

8. St. Elmo Shrimp Cocktail Eating Championship

Eating 10 pounds of shrimp is just wrong.

Image: Smneedham/Getty Images

Joey Chestnut won this annual shrimp cocktail-eating competition in 2017, beating out nine other eaters for the grand prize of $1,500, according to RTV6.

The professional eater earned his fifth win by downing 10 pounds and 6.4 ounces of shrimp cocktail (including the sauce) all at once. 

The Indianapolis-based competition has its contestants eat their shrimp with St. Elmo's shrimp cocktail sauce, which is famous for being exceptionally spicy. You can purchase your own bottle here.

7. The World’s Ice Cream Eating Championship 

Just imagine the brain freeze!

Image: BRETT STEVENS/Getty Images/Cultura RF

At the weeks-long Indiana State Fair in Indianapolis, visitors can feast on fair concessions, interact with farm animals, and witness the World's Ice Cream Eating championship, where competitors try to eat as much ice cream as is humanly possible. 

Geoff Esper won this year's competition in early August, eating 15.5 pints of vanilla ice cream in six minutes, according to Indy Star. He took home a prize of $4,000 for guzzling down an equivalent of about nine tubs of Häagen-Dazs. 

6. Berkwood Farms Bacon Eating Contest 

One pound of bacon is basically an entire package-worth of bacon.

Image: The Washington Post/Getty Images

At the Keystone Bacon and Bourban Festival in Keystone, Colorado, visitors can find bacon sampling stations, concerts, and most important: the Berkwood Farms Bacon Eating Contest.

The bacon-eating competition is still going strong since it began in 2008. February 16, 2018, brought a new bacon-eating champ. Matt Weis, a relatively new competitive eater, was crowned 2018's "gold skillet winner," after he ate a full pound of bacon supplied by Berkwood Farms.

Weis, who is on the high fat, low carb Keto diet, told the Des Moines Register that he can eat bacon pretty much whenever he wants, because it has the "perfect ratio of fats and protein with no carbs."

Must be nice.

5. The National Harbor World Peeps Eating Championship

Peeps eating contest! So funny!!! #nationalharbor #peeps #peepseatingcontest #lovemygirls #maryland #lovemarshmellow

A post shared by Maria Sung (@mariasung803) on Apr 8, 2017 at 11:02am PDT

The National Harbor World Peeps Eating Championship began in 2016. Despite its newness, many of the world's highest-ranking eating competitors, including Carmen Cincotti and Gideon Oji — numbers two and six, respectively — have turned up for the Maryland event.

At the inaugural competition, Matt Stonie ate 200 peeps in five minutes, setting a world record. In 2017, he beat his own record by eating 255 peeps. That's enough to fill at least 25 easter baskets. 

4. World Pie Eating Championship

World Pie Eating Champions Martin Appleton-Clare and Vicky Lindley.

Image: Danny Lawson - PA Images / Contributor/PA Images via Getty Images

Unlike most eating competitions, at the UK-based World Pie-Eating Championship in Wiggan, competitors must only consume one thing: a single pie. The beef and potato-filled pies measure four inches in diameter and one inch in depth, according to the Daily Mail. 

Whoever eats the pie the fastest receives a free lunch at Harry's Bar (where the competition takes place) and the "Bradley Piggins" cup — likely a nod to British cyclist and sports personality Bradley Wiggins, but with a cheeky meat-oriented spin.

The pie-eating contest has been happening for 24 years now and it has become a local and national favorite. 

Martin Appleton-Clare won the competition for the third year in a row in 2017, eating his pie in 32 seconds flat. Vicky Lindley won the women's competition, devouring her pie in 30 seconds. Champions, both of them.

3. Acme Oyster Eating World Championship

A big congratulations to the 2018 Acme Oyster House World Oyster Eating Champion, Darron Breeden from Orange, Virginia! @nolaoysterfest #shuckin #oysterfest #oystereating #champion #followyournola #lifesmorefunwithseafood #acmeoysterhouse #nolafests #nolafestivals #onlylouisiana #lousianaseafood

A post shared by Acme Oyster House (@acmeoyster) on Jun 3, 2018 at 11:19am PDT

This event takes place at the New Orleans Oyster Festival in Louisiana, and witnessing it must be a bit like watching a culinary horror movie. You will be scared, you will be amused, and you will be so relieved when it's all over. 

Competitive eater newcomer Darron Breeden won the 2018 competition — and a beautiful oyster belt (a belt adorned with fake oysters) — for consuming 480 oysters supplied by the Acme Oyster House in one sitting. Absolutely revolting.

2. The Day-Lee Foods World Gyoza Eating Championship

Beautiful gyoza, ready to be devoured

Image: Jeff Greenberg / Contributor/UIG via Getty Images

The fried Japanese dumpling known as gyoza is a delicious appetizer or snack. But if you're Joey Chestnut, it's just another food you're eating by the hundreds.

In 2018, Chestnut gobbled up a whopping 359 gyoza in 10 minutes at the 12th annual Day-Lee Foods World Gyoza Eating Championship in Los Angeles. 

Nineteen competitors, including Matt Stonie, fought for a large cash reward, the amount of which is currently unreported (last year it was $6,000). But Chestnut out-ate everyone.

1. Nathan's Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest

People have been stuffing hot dogs down their gullets for 102 years!

Image: SOPA Images / Contributor/LightRocket via Getty Images

Ah, Nathan's Fourth of July Hot Dog-Eating Contest, or the Super Bowl of the competitive food eating world.

In 1916, Nathan's hot dog-eating contest in Coney Island turned competitive eating into a sport, according to Time. Every Fourth of July, thousands of people still head to Coney Island to watch people eat one of the least healthy foods on the planet: the hot dog.

At Nathan's 102nd contest this summer, competitor Joey Chestnut defended his championship title, winning his third hot dog eating contest in a row while breaking a new world record of 74 hot dogs, according to NBC News. Chestnut has won the contest 11 times, and only been beaten once — by Matt Stonie in 2015 — since he started competing.

Miki Sudo also defended her title in the women's competition — which began in 2011 — eating 37 hot dogs. Each winner took home a grand prize of $10,000 and a belt (mustard-yellow for Chestnut, pink for Sudo). 

Hungry?

WATCH: This restaurant serves dinner with a side of virtual reality

[sanabakkoushisanangel]

Heeey. Sorry if I disturb you by something or anything but could you maybe list some good shows? (It's not a must that LGBT couples are included) thanks a lot ❤️❤️💫

Hi, Anon! 

You’re not disturbing!

So I’m the type of person that watches a pretty random variety of shows so I’m not sure what your taste leans toward exactly. 

If you have any suggestions, make a comment or drop me a message with the show and why you like it! And if you want, make a suggestion on how to make this list better!

** Is for shows other people suggest to me. I’ll comment if I’ve heard of it or seen any of it. 

*I’ll try to put if it’s LGBT friendly. And also I want to put down if it’s diverse or not and a note if you suggest a show is diverse…I’m looking for either the main character that is a POC or more than 1-2 minor characters that show up often enough to make a difference to the plot. Don’t tell me a show is diverse if it’s 3 black characters are just window-dressing…👀

***UPDATE*** (8/11/2019)*** SO I'm finally getting around to updating this list. As always let me know if y'all have any suggestions! This thing is getting insanely long! I might try to make it a link on my page (which is in serious need of renovation lol). Oh Lord, I still have so many shows I didn't add. I might have a problem...

Enjoy!!

Derry Girls: Man I hope you all get to see my recommendation for this show!!! It's truly a gem! I can't say it's diverse but it's also based off a small town in Northern Ireland so not really faulting them. Very LGBT friendly!! Spot the tiny rainbow pins our main 5 wear in the entirety of the second season!! It's like the cutest, most wholesome unspoken way of showing support! I literally watched the second season, went back to rewatch the first season and then rewatched the second season again. They're so loveable!

Four Weddings and a Funeral: I surprisingly haven't watched the 1994 film that was one of the best movies of the 90s apparently. But Mindi Kaling is producing its remake that's now a TV show on Hulu. Features a much more diverse cast (TWO main characts being Black, the main love interest being Muslim, actually portraying Muslim character seamlessly without making it campy or oversimplified!). There's a lack of LGBT characters (Tony 1 and Tony 2 don't really count since that feels slightly degrading to me...). I'm hoping they'll get better at that in future episodes!

Dark: A German TV show that's like a mystery time travel thriller. Not really diverse? It does feature a deaf supporting character and some minor supporting characters are LGBT but other than that...It IS a good story that's really interesting and gripping to watch.  

3%: A sci-fi post-apocalyptic story based in Brazil that's Hunger Games ish in that young people fight for their right to live in the ideal land of plenty. But because it's a show, you get to explore the ethical aspect of it a little more. I have a beef with how this show treats its PoC character to be honest. But it does have a lot of PoC characters and there's I think an LGBT plotline in a later season. But, I feel like the first season may have been its peak. Definitely still a good show and y'all might enjoy the later seasons more than me. 

Patriot Act: Not really a story obviously but I have to plug this show because for once I'm seeing a nonproblematic Indian Muslim man (side-eyeing Kumal and Aziz) that's actually doing great episodes highlighting a lot of important issues that we're totally not getting informed about that we should really be paying attention to more.  

Kim's Convenience: A Canadian sitcom based on a Korean family's convenience story. Really cute wholesome show with a great cast that really tries to be diverse and thoughtful and respectful of its PoC. I don't think they have an LGBT main character but it's friendly to it!

-Shadowhunters: I love this trash show. It’s actually not all that great but it’s got some absolute gems of characters you end up watching it for anyway. I def recommend but S1 was watched with a ton of skip Clary/Jace scenes for me. This is LGBT friendly and diverse.  

-Eastsiders: One of my Netflix finds. So super LGBTQ friendly because it revolves around a gay couple. The revolving door of characters includes many people at different spectrums of sexuality. It’s unapologetic and fun to watch. Our main couple is self-labeled slutty mcsluttersons but they’re committed to each other. The diversity of race is meh but it does have the Constance Wu from Fresh off the Boat in it and she’s lovely. 

-Riverdale: I tried man, I used to read Archie comics when I was younger but um, this show…I think it’s supposed to be ironically pretentious? It just falls flat for me tbh. It’s popular though so you can check a couple of episodes out to see if it’s your thing. There’s an openly gay character in this that should get more story than he does. Also, kind of LGBT baits too at times so not sure if I trust them completely. 

-Narcos: One of my recent shows. Very very intense show. Just really well done. It’s male-centric in that most of its main characters are male and its portrayal of women isn’t varied or flattering or significant in any way so that definitely sucks. But I don’t watch all my shows through that lens. For a show about Pablo Escobar and the drug wars it’s a really gripping watch. Beware of heavy subtitles because it’s set in Columbia. 

-The Expanse: My sci-fi pick. I love this show. It’s a gorgeous, diverse, rich story, funny without trying too hard. I just get sucked into every character. It had one older married gay couple that was really minor characters but I don’t recall any current mains that are. But It’s an inclusive show so I don’t think it’s particularly averse to the idea. Based on books I haven’t read yet! 

-Veep: This is like a completely meant-to-be-offensive comedy show with the amazing Julia Louis-Dreyfus. While I wasn’t in love with the last 2 seasons, the first 4 are amazing. No clear-cut character you root for in particular but it’s so close to politics you can’t help but laugh/cry. Watch it for the absolutely unapologetic legendary burns. Also, has a lesbian couple in it although it’s offensive comedy so prepare for that.

-Archer: Also another meant-to-be-offensive show that’s hilarious but so terrible and inappropriate. I don’t usually like that kind of comedy but I binge-watched this when I was sick and got hooked. 

-Vikings: I love this show. If you like Game of Thrones, you’ll like this one only it’s got less nudity and more idgaf fight scenes. It’s got brilliant characters, beautiful battle scenes, really interesting storylines, and just good snarky humor. Watch it! Also, they’re not shy about same-sex couples even if they don’t explicitly say it. 

-Mr. Robot: Really good show, very different and…I actually don’t know how to describe it? The main has mental health issues. It’s a sociopolitical commentary type show. It’s about hacking and network security and corporation conglomerates in control of our everything and the fight against it. Also from @cherryrebel : Mr robot has a shit ton of diversity in both race and LGBT, the lead is mixed race but the actor is Egyptian, Tyrell is bisexual, Gideon is gay, Angela, Elliot, and Darlene are implied being lgbt+, I think I’m forgetting about someone but watch that show, it’s the shit 

-Legion: A superhero show that’s so incredibly NOT like the other superhero shows. You'll find yourself in a serious mind trip thinking you’re the one that’s crazy. But it’s really really good. Go watch. 

-Mozart in the Jungle: About a bunch of musicians and a crazy conductor you absolutely love. It’s really good. LGBT friendly! And diverse-ish.

-Luther: One of the best crime shows in my opinion. Idris Elba just does things and you will want to watch him do it. Anything he does is beautiful and brilliant. But the show actually IS brilliant and amazing and go watch!! 

-This is Us: one of those, where-the-hell-did-you-come-from?? shows. Really heartfelt stories that make you laugh, cry, and go aww a million times. 

-Killjoys: Another sci-fi show I love. It’s got diversity and great characters and great action and story. It's a complicated plot though and if you skip episodes you're really going to struggle with the story. But if you don't care, it's still fun to watch ladies being brilliant and kicking ass. Also LGBT friendly and diverse!!

-True Detective: Crime detective show. It’s great, very gritty and serious but good stories and character-driven. I actually really enjoyed the third season despite my reservations of this show. Definitely needed subtitles! Also, I got major unspoken LGBT vibes from the characters (3rd season) here but I feel like they didn't go the distance with it. 

-Humans: Sci-fi show about android robots that are part of normal life- they look human and are basically live in maids. Only five of these have consciousness. Really good UK show. Diverse AND LGBT friendly!

-Broadchurch: Another good UK crime show. David Tennant and Olivia Colman are brilliant and bicker in the most endearing way! And Jodie Whitaker is so amazing! Slow and gripping and bingeworthy. @iamacolor mentioned a lesbian character in this one too. Wouldn't say it's LGBT friendly but there is diversity in the characters. 

-The Americans: Russian sleeper spies in America that lead normal lives, have American children, and are like totally Russians carrying out secret missions. It's fantastical and exaggerated and sometimes I side-eye it like really?? But it's a fun casual watch. Not really diverse or LGBT friendly even if there might be some peppering in there. 

-The Get Down: Great show that was recently canceled :( has about 1 season out. I’m not sure how to describe it and do proper justice. It’s lovely though with amazing characters. Also, LGBT friendly and clearly diverse!

-Stranger Things: Great show sci-fi mystery thriller type show. Diverse cast, wholesome even with a dark and violent plot. LGBT friendly but it's got a list of problems in my opinion. But still a fun watch.

-Dear White People: Black college students from all kinds of backgrounds dropping truth bombs all around and being amazing. Go watch. It's definitely a smart show with a lot of humor. It’s balanced with amazing depth to its characters. LGBT friendly! *so while it's definitely diverse in that the entire main cast except one is Black- I do find it weird that in an ivy league college there aren't many Asian students? Like it seems like they tried to fix that in the third season but it could definitely stand to do more in terms of its recurring supporting characters*

-Brooklyn Nine-Nine: an Amazing funny cop show that manages to be winsome, hilarious, endearing, quirky, diverse, balanced, and just amazing all around. Very LGBT friendly and diverse! It's a consistent show. 

-Fresh Off the Boat: An Asian family comedy show that’s endearing and hilarious. (Also check out Jane the Virgin for crazy telenovela-esque antics that are hilarious and cute). 

-Orphan Black: Sci-fi show about clones. A really amazing show, LGBT friendly. Great story AMAZING characters…most of which is played by one woman. Diverse and LGBT friendly.

-Preacher: Great show based on the graphic novel…uhh not sure how to describe it but it’s good. Reth Negga is in it!! 

Also adding Sense8 for its LGBT and diversity. Good show but I’ve heard something about the directors/producers being racist? Not sure so I’m recommending with caution because the show itself esp s2 where the nonwhite characters got a better fleshed out plot is good. But since I don’t know what the producers/directors have done, I’m giving a heads up for someone else to fill me in.

Poldark: I just started this one 2 days ago. 2 episodes in I’m really enjoying it. It’s from PBS’s Masterpiece series. Aiden Turner as a Cornishman is delicious. So far I adore his wife and immensely enjoying yet another period show.  

Grantchester: Adding this to the list after I discovered it on my prime account. I’m only one season in and I love Sydney Chambers and his gruff buddy cop Geordie? This isn’t a show that is going to have you sitting on the edge of your seat. It’s totally a procedural type of show. But it’s characters are likable, its story feels comfortable, and honestly, if it’s a shitty day for you and you just want something that’s easy? This is it. @iamacolor  :)

Entourage: So I binged 8 seasons and a movie in a week so let’s just say I fell into this gaping manhole…So it has one very prominently gay character on this show that gets a fair amount of screentime and a plot considering he’s a side character. He’s a fairly loveable character you really enjoy watching develop and grow. However, I should warn people that this show has really colorful language that is quite frankly really sexist and homophobic. For those of you that don’t know, it’s essentially a show about a popular actor from Queens that makes it big in Hollywood and brings along his 2 best friends and older brother to live with him and share in his wealth. If you can get past the language and inherent sexism, it’s actually a decent show about 4 guys with an extremely tight unbreakable, ride or die friendship. Lots of cameos by famous actors and directors, etc. I admit I might have a thing for Kevin Connolly and Adrian Grenier…

Jane the Virgin: Okay firstly, I LOVE this show. I wasn’t caught up because I had too much on my plate but like this show is so tongue in cheek and has great Latino rep! Including a character that speaks like 98% in Spanish so it’s great. AND they have LGBT rep so there you go. Enjoy and thank me later!

Superstore: Almost disappointed no one reminded me to recommend this show?? It’s basically centered around a store much like Walmart where you have a colorful cast of employees. It’s funny, it’s cute, it’s very socially aware. A disabled character (of color!), a gay character, and a smattering of all sorts. PLUS America Ferrera whom I adore!

The Good Place: Great show, great diversity, really funny. I binged it aaaallllll. Seriously go watch this show!! 

Cable Girls: Netflix Original from Spain. Do yourself a favor, watch it in Spanish with subtitles. The dubs feel so off. So the music choices for this show are the biggest con. Like it’s modern English songs in a show set in the 20s. Whoever chooses the music really doesn’t read the tone of the scene because it always throws me off. BUT, it’s a show about women gaining their independence through working as operators. You don’t have a diverse cast (so another con) but it’s LGBT friendly. There’s an exploration of sexuality minus the harmful abuse of it. It’s got its own set of flaws for sure but there’s a lot of potentials for it to be a good watch. 

Atypical: Autistic boy on the cusp of adulthood that’s navigating how to grow into it and live as normally as possible despite his limitations. Diverse characters, funny stories, and most importantly, endearing af. I think it handles the touchy topic wonderfully and allows people in this show to both be good people and also make mistakes both big and small. What I really enjoyed about this show is that it feels unafraid to let it’s characters just be. It doesn’t fall into tropes and it just has really well-written characters. Can’t wait for Season 3. Also, def don’t want to spoil but LGBT friendly.  

Lovesick: If nothing else, watch this show for Antonia Thomas. I’m lowkey in love with her so I will watch anything she’s in. But it’s one of those shows that might not be for everyone. It’s about three great friends where two have been in love with each other at different parts of their lives and keep missing each other’s feelings. It plays via flashbacks quite a bit so your story isn’t quite linear but it doesn’t make it difficult to watch. I personally loved it but I’m biased because well Antonia Thomas…

Santa Clara Diet: So I confess I dropped this show mid first episode when I first watched it. Its pilot was so strange and bonkers I was just so incredibly confused. I think the projectile vomiting just turned me off. But boredom is a great motivator and I came back to it later. And man, I am so so so glad I did. It’s just such a lovely show. I love every character to bits. LGBT friendly for sure. It’s so incredibly far-fetched so you just go with it and enjoy the ride. 

On my Block: Four friends transitionally into high school and navigating changing dynamics in their lifelong relationships while also dealing with real life, high school, gangs, and growing up. It’s a good watch. Really hoping for a second season. 

Sisters: Aussie show about a woman caring for her ailing elderly father who finds out he used his own sperm in his fertility clinic in order to help parents struggling. Now she has new half-siblings all over the country and gets to navigate dealing with that shitshow. This is a good show. Flawed people being selfish, good people getting the short end of the stick, people being real, things getting ugly. It gets interesting and awkward but it’s a good watch.    LGBT friendly.

Homecoming: Really gripping show about soldiers that return stateside wanting to return to society, join a program to help them do so, turns out things aren’t as they seem. Check it out on Amazon Prime. Diverse…umm one of the main supporting characters is black?

Bodyguard: Richard Madden from GoT plays a completely different role in this show about a bodyguard that finds himself part of a bigger conspiracy plot that forces him to face his own demons. Overall the story is good. Intense, gripping, intriguing in all the right places. But the ending has you rolling your eyes at how cliche they made it out to be. My biggest gripe being romanticizing characters that really don’t deserve it without highlighting their problematic behavior. It sweeps a lot of questions under the rug and concludes what would have been a highly conflicting plot with some really shoddy tropey shortcuts. Still it’s definitely a bingeworthy show. Diversity is for shit though all things considered. 

Recommendations by Other Blogs:

-**Shameless: Based on the UK show I believe. Has an openly gay character in a really complicated loveline that’s one of the major draws of this show. Very good show but definitely not for everyone. Expect LOTS of cursing, nudity, etc. But it’s hilarious, weirdly heartwarming, really fun to watch. Adding based on an anon suggestion- I haven’t watched the seasons in full but I love popping in to catch up. LGBT friendly and also somewhat diverse. 

-**Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: I have not watched this show myself but @blueberrysenpaii suggested this and said: Should add CEG. There’s a veeeery proud bi guy! So LGBT friendly! Someone tell me if it’s diverse?

-**Stitchers: Another show I haven’t watched but it’s been recommended a few times so it’s probably worth a watch. LGBT friendly! Someone tell me if it’s diverse? From Anon: There is a lesbian couple (Camanda) and they’re happy and healthy. It’s a great interesting storyline, it’s funny, super loveable characters, there’s some mystery and suspense in every episode, I love it so much, and it’s so underrated

**Black Sails: Have not watched this show either. LGBT friendly and diverse cast! But here’s @foolbrite ’s recommendation: black sails!! its an AMAZING  story plus there is such good lgbt rep in that show

**One Day At a Time: So I have watched a couple episodes of this. It’s so cute! Diverse and LGBT friendly! But here’s the recommendation from @jcarizma : One Day At a Time is really good. Has an LGBT main character and most of the characters are Hispanic as well and the show actually talks about topics that are importantes and it still manages to be hilarious. It’s on Netflix. and also @onyourleftbooob : one day at a time is INCREDIBLE and i loved how they dealt with their lgbt character

**Black Mirror: San Junipero: Again never watched this show but I have seen gifs of this episode?story arc? Diverse and LGBT friendly! Anywho another rec from @onyourleftbooob : black mirror’s san junipero is great  *Update: I did watch this myself so I can definitely say it was really nice!*

**How to Get Away With Murder: I actually was a little reluctant to recommend this show. Mainly because *spoiler* one of my favorite main characters got killed off in a way and point in the story where it was pure shock value and I’m forever upset. *end spoiler* I personally dropped the show at that point. However, it was great until that point and it does have an great LGBT rep and just as important a very diverse cast! Also recommended by @onyourleftbooob  

**The Bold Type: I have not yet seen this show personally but I have seen lots of mentions of it on my dash and it seems like it’s really good. Good diverse and LGBT friendly show! @im-the-trashqueen-of-my-fandoms recommends this: One of the 3 leads is black and discovers that she’s not really straight when she starts developing feelings for a lesbian Muslim photographer :)

So I think I got most of the ones I really enjoy. Not including like Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones because those are hugely popular. I hope you enjoy! If I think of more, I’ll add them here.  

[stormrising-rp]

September 29-30, 2017

At St. Mungo’s, Head Healer Abbott has notoriously campaigned for muggleborn rights. Because of this, many muggleborns have entered the healing program and have even tried to combine muggle healing methods with magical. This has not gone unnoticed by Voldemort and his Death Eaters, who find such filth absolute nonsense. The very idea that muggleborns could use muggle methods to heal them is something they cannot abide.

Riding the high from their attack on the French Minister for Magic, the Death Eaters plan a coordinated attack on St. Mungo’s on September 29, with the intent being to kidnap Head Healer Abbott and later frame the Order of the Phoenix with his death. They plan to do this by taking hostages in the atrium in order to create a smokescreen for the actual kidnapping. Then, they will allow the hostages to go one by one until the Ministry is left wondering about their own intentions.

Unfortunately for the Death Eaters, especially the drunken ones discussing things in the corner of The Hog’s Head, plans are overheard by Peter Pettigrew in his animagus form. After relaying the news to Albus Dumbledore, the Order of the Phoenix plans to be at St. Mungo’s on that day to combat the attack itself and provide extra security for Healer Abbott.

Alastor Moody attempts to beef up auror security at the hospital that day but is denied by the Minister for Magic, as the annual Ministry Fall Festival is the next day – security is needed more for that than at St. Mungo’s.

Ministry employees who are also Order members are unable to take part in the mission; to do so would be to put the Ministry on alert, especially when the Ministry has an important event coming up. They are ordered by Albus Dumbledore to continue their days as usual.

Voldemort, however, has no such compunction and his Death Eaters are ordered to be in whatever places they’ve been directed, with masked Death Eaters taking hostages and others patrolling hallways to ensure no one else escapes. Some are able to hide in exam rooms and post about their experiences on social media, while others remain in the St. Mungo’s atrium, worried about what will happen to them.

In the end, though, the Order of the Phoenix is able to thwart the Death Eaters and Healer Abbott is removed from his office by Order operatives early in the day. The Death Eaters, with the exception of ROBARD SELWYN - who is taken into auror custody - immediately escape after it becomes clear that the Head Healer is no longer in the hospital.

The Daily Prophet puts out a special evening edition to laud the vigilante group able to save those in St. Mungo’s. The Ministry is taken to task for its ineptness; someone has also leaked that Head Auror Moody asked for more security at St. Mungo’s and was denied. It is a blow to the Ministry of Magic.

The Ministry initially chooses not to cancel the Fall Festival, citing that it is important for community morale and unwilling to claim that it acted incorrectly. Many employees work through the night to handle damage control as well as the festival events itself.

The next morning, however, ROBARD SELWYN is found dead in his cell, having taken a poison pill hidden in his shoe. This information quickly leaks on social media, with several calling for the Minister for Magic’s resignation. Because of this, the fall festival is eventually canceled and by 10 a.m., the Ministry Task Force is given new instructions [more to come on this] and some Ministry employees are allowed to return home.

Logistics

The Death Eaters are still wearing masks and cloaks; though Order Members will be engaging them, the only ones who will be unmasked are NPCs.

Ministry employees who are Order members work as usual. If they do not report to work that day and are found at St. Mungo’s, they will end up losing their jobs, if not worse. Ministry employees who are Death Eaters took the day off weeks in advance for various reasons or have called in sick in order to avoid detection.

Order Members will be at St. Mungo’s for specific reasons. They will not be able to just loiter around in the atrium. Some Order members may take this further than others [e.g., purposefully injuring themselves, etc.]. The Order is not to look like an organized force and members who act must appear to only be doing so to defend themselves.

Please do not RP past September 30 until the next calendar is posted. If you have any questions about what is allowed/what your character knows, please feel free to send us a message. You are also free to have threads with other people - just make sure that the continuity stays the same, please!

What Happened: September 29

GIDEON PREWETT takes down ROBARD SELWYN [NPC] in the St. Mungo’s atrium. Once he has made sure Selwyn cannot get away, he patrols the corridor and findsREMUS LUPIN unconscious.

After originally being apprehended by Remus Lupin, AMYCUS CARROW is eventually rescued by ANTONIN DOLOHOV, who called in sick for work that morning.

EVAN ROSIER and LUCIUS MALFOY are tasked with taking the hostages and keeping them in the Ministry atrium. Their methods are vastly different and the two end up in an argument by the time the last hostage leaves.

GWENOG JONES is at St. Mungo’s after a short fall on the quidditch pitch. When the Death Eaters begin taking hostages, she is sitting next to LILY EVANS. The two attempt to find a way to sneak out of the atrium.

SABINE ROWLE is nervous, as this is her first official mission as a Death Eater, though her main task is to simply shadow others and provide a show of force. She is waylaid on her way to St. Mungo’s early in the morning by her sister, SIMONE ROWLE, who has her own suspicions of Sabine’s allegiances.

After intentionally slicing open his hand making breakfast, EDGAR BONES has just had his injury bandaged when the Death Eaters approach. Sitting in a room that’s relatively safe, he pulls NARCISSA BLACK, heading for lunch with her sister, in with him so that she remains safe.

ANDROMEDA BLACK is annoyed when her cousin, SIRIUS BLACK, enters with a sprained wrist and he will not tell her how he was injured. She lectures him on being reckless as the Death Eaters begin taking hostages, unaware that Sirius injured himself for a reason to be at St. Mungo’s.

ALECTO CARROW and THORFINN ROWLE must patrol around St. Mungo’s to ensure that the operation is progressing as planned and no one escapes. When Alecto notices that some of the “patients” seem a bit too comfortable, Thorfinn dismisses her worries.

GRETA CATCHLOVE is at St. Mungo’s to pick up a prescription when she is caught with the other hostages in the atrium. She sits next to EVELYN DOLOHOV, who, while an Order member in disguise, is pretending to be waiting for her mother.

REGULUS BLACK is running late to St. Mungo’s, this task his first as a Death Eater initiate. Eager to complete this task and become marked, he is unhappy to see ALINA MALFOY on the street. Unaware of what’s happening, Alina initiates a conversation Regulus tries - to little avail - to get out of.

RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE and BELLATRIX BLACK are in charge of planning the attack at St. Mungo’s and had previously spent several nights ensuring that they got everything done correctly. In the wake of its failure, the two blame the other and the argument quickly grows volatile.

What Happened: September 30

HELENA PARKINSON, having been tasked with infiltrating the Order two months prior, is given a dressing down by the Minister herself for focusing more on her personal life than her professional one. She is told to take a week off from work at the Ministry to focus on finding a way into the group of vigilantes. On her way out of the Ministry, she runs intoFRANK LONGBOTTOM, who has much more knowledge of the previous day’s events than she realizes. Exhausted from also working that night, Frank has to think on his feet to avoid giving anything away.

NATALYA KARKAROFF is a bit unsure of what exactly happened at St. Mungo’s, as she was nowhere near during the attack. When she goes to Diagon Alley early in the morning to retrieve a potion from the apothecary, she runs into SEVERUS SNAPE, who is trying to hide the fact that he was injured by a stray confringo.

In early hours of Saturday morning, OTTO BAGMAN begins doing his best to hack into the vigilante social media accounts after instructions from the top. He is just about there when ALASTOR MOODY knocks on his door, intentionally distracting him from the task at hand.  

When PENELOPE GREENGRASS was told that she would need to work through the night to help her boss mitigate this disaster, she asked ALESSANDRA ROWLE to pick up her puppy. The next morning, around dawn, Allie brings Penny breakfast at the Ministry, curious about the real story behind the events.

MARY MACDONALD wonders if there are those in the Ministry who disagree with its aims since they were blindsided by the Order claiming responsibility for thwarting the DE attack. After running into ALICE FORTESCUE in the Ministry hallway early in the morning, she discusses her concerns with the other woman, convinced that someone on the Ministry Task Force is disloyal.

This event will run from Friday 1 September until 11.59pm EDT on Thursday 7 September. While threads can continue after this time, no new starters may be posted. You may also create other plots & threads arising from this event, keeping in mind the information set out in this post. 

Please tag all starters with strpgstarter and strpgevent

[judeonthemove]

Livin' La Vida Locomotive

I'm not sure why I expected Ecuador to be a bit less developed than Peru, but I did and it isn't. The niceness of Baños wasn't an anomaly, which has been handy considering we'd discussed treating this month as more of a holiday. For our wedding anniversary we treated each other to some time apart and I went off to investigate the eponymous thermal baths of Baños. I jest of course, but the longest we've been out of each other's sight in nine months was just under four hours when I climbed Sydney Harbour Bridge. This is not natural by anyone's standards.

For those of you who've had the pleasure of visiting the Thermae Spa in Bath, you need to clear your mind of that image. Baños baths are an altogether more basic proposition of four outdoor pools: one clear and cold, and three murky ones at the Goldiloocks temperatures of tepid, hot and cauldron. The hot water comes courtesy of the nearby volcano Tungurahua, while the cold water arrives direct from the waterfall above. $3 gets you an entry ticket and compulsory natty pink swim hat, but no instructions. I stared cluelessly at the watery chaos for a minute, a symphony of concrete cancer and trip hazards, before throwing my things in a crate and finding what seemed to be the right place to leave them. I also stared at the hole on the lower level, empty save for a woman with a broom. One of the pools was closed, but which one? Getting to work with the remaining three I soon rejected the tepid pool as it was essentially children soup. I'd been looking forward to the challenge of the cauldron, but of course it was that one that was closed. That left me with cold and hot, so I concentrated on maximising the difference. In addition to the cold pool were a set of cascade showers fed from a pipe inserted into the waterfall. Most of the locals were avoiding the cold water completely, or tricking each other into standing under it and laughing at the screams. As the only gringo woman in the place I was pretty conspicuous as the person who actually seemed to enjoy the freezing inundation. After a couple of hours I was fully pruned up and couldn't justify waiting another two hours for the super hot pool to fill. I squelched back in the drizzle to make myself presentable.

We had a look at the museum attached to the cathedral, which featured a great display of pre-Colombian pieces, some unbrilliant art, the extensive wardrobe of the local Virgen figurine, and a hilariously creepy room full of taxidermy, religious art, toy vehicles and typewriters. I never need to see the stations of the cross juxtaposed with poorly stuffed pumas ever again. In keeping with the Alpine flavour of the area, we went for dinner at a Swiss restaurant, where I promptly mixed up stroganoff and goulash and ordered the wrong dinner. What a numpty.

Another emerging feature of Ecuador has been the predictable and efficient bus system. Everything's clearly marked and they leave on time. Most of the long distance buses, regardless of the operator, cost about $1-1.5 per hour so you can have a reasonable guess as to when you're going to arrive. With Ecuador being a compact gem of a country, there weren't going to be any arduous legs. Two or three hours up the road was Riobamba. We were due to stay a couple of nights in order to play on the restored train line. What our guidebook failed to mention was that since it was published, they've changed the schedules and the daily train now runs from a town two hours further away. Whoops. We had no trouble entertaining ourselves in Riobamba and had a well timed visit to the city museum and gallery, while an orchestra rehearsed below. Having not heard any orchestral music since Australia, the sound brought a grin to my face and a tear to my eye. The snowy peak of volcano Chimborazo emerged from its cloud shrouds to loom in proprietary fashion over the city. Back at our hostal, the owners' confident small daughter assailed us with an incomprehensible monologue and barrage of questions and/or instructions that we were incapable of responding to. Bored of rearranging piles of unread Gideon bibles among the pot plants and fed up with my refusal to biro in them on command, she hid our room key and hit us both on the head with a stick. Highly entertaining but nevertheless a great reminder of why we don't have kids.

Alausi is a little town with a big claim to railway fame. Halfway down the newly restored Quito to Guayaquil line, it sits above La Nariz del Diablo (The Devil's Nose). I'm very partial to an epic train journey, and what this lacked in length it certainly made up for in engineering and sheer bloody-mindedness. Around two thousand men died to create 12kms of switchback track, descending an 800m rock face. We arrived in town and were most joyful to find that the train tracks ran up the middle of the street we were staying on. A couple of hours later and we were ensconced in a classic wooden carriage, slowly making our way down a cliff. My camera chose this moment to start malfunctioning with a blank screen, leaving me pressing the button and hoping for the best. As this is basically the extent of my photographic skill anyway, it didn't make a great deal of difference to the results. At the bottom was a little station with retail opportunities and a couple of horses and llamas to be used as photo props. The horses looked very much over it, but the llamas had some spirit left and concentrated on being noncompliant. We hid from the souvenir frenzy, but I got drawn in when the traditional dance display took a turn for the interactive. James stayed safely on the side-lines, in charge of incriminating pictures. Back in Alausi we checked into our lodgings and discovered that even the glowing reviews had not prepared us for how nice a hostal it was. Brand new contemporary styling, spotlessly clean, delicious breakfast, and with a massive comfy bed. I immediately declared that I was to be transported around Ecuador in said bed from then on, and it was with some regret that we moved on after one night. Rough calculations told us we had time to get to everywhere we wanted to see, but only if we kept rolling.

The route to the city of Cuenca assailed us with more handsome scenery than is seemly, scrolling down in scale through Alpine, Scottish Highlands, and Lake District. In a clear contrast to previous countries we've visited, there don't seem to be Inca-style terraces here. No matter how steep, the fields follow the line of the hills and are separated by shrubs or trees. The result is a verdant cornucopia of produce and a very different look to the countryside. The southern city of Cuenca was elegant and cultured, and we'd hoped our hostal with integral bar-restaurant would make for a lively weekend base. The hitch in this otherwise sound plan was the profoundly intrusive noise bleeding into all the bedrooms. We were prepared for the late night music, and indeed made good use of happy hour and the tasty menu on offer. What was less manageable was the 6am pounding rock wake up call. I shambled, incredulous, into the restaurant area to find the source was actually next door. A staff member told me with a shrug that their neighbour did it every day. And he did. Clearly there was some beef going on, resulting in the hostal guests being tortured with a sleep deprivation spit roasting. On the second night we coped by playing our own loud music which worked really well and still couldn’t be heard by the other guests over the general din. There is music everywhere in Ecuador, but the ‘80's and ‘90's pop and rock fetish of the rest of South America is not such a thing here. As such I have had withdrawal symptoms from the tracks we've heard most days since May, and James kindly downloaded Alphaville’s ‘Big In Japan’ to help with my DTs. I invite you to join me in my obsessive earworm: https://youtu.be/tl6u2NASUzU. Five hour sleep window notwithstanding, Cuenca itself lived up to its Unesco hype with beautiful colonial architecture, galleries and museums. A riverside walk took us further out to the suburbs. Cuenca was clearly one of the wealthiest places we'd been in months, as suggested by the number of aesthetic dentists, gyms and plush interior design studios. Strikingly as we left, our bus drove for miles before we saw anything like the simple breeze block and wood homes we've been accustomed to seeing.

Our flying visit to Ecuador's second city, Guayaquil, was achieved thanks to a stunning bus trip up and over the Parque Nacional Cajas. Sat on the continental divide with roads winding up over 4300m the first couple of hours was textbook glaciated landscapes of u-shaped valleys and interconnected lakes. My geography teachers might have despaired at my sixth-form attendance rate, but they did instil an absolute love of this stuff. Pine trees and eucalypts gave way to a tight, spongy carpet of mosses and tough grasses as we ascended into the clouds. With ears popping, our water filter bottles leaking under the pressure strain, and the inevitable altitude cough, I tried to make a mental note to be ginger with my deodorant. Every time we do this I forget, and end up with an unfortunate looking cream explosion in my armpit the first time I dislodge the roller ball. I forgot yet again of course, because travelling turns you into an in-the-moment goldfish brain. A brief stop at the top with the mists rolling and burning off in the ravines below allowed the poor bus a bit of a breather. Heading off again, we must have passed through some magic geography portal as we were straight into lush cloud forest. A great deal of down was followed quite suddenly by dead flat as we proceeded across to the coast. Acre upon acre of cacao, banana and pineapple plantations baked in the sun.

Guayaquil itself was a thriving, sprawling port city and we had one and a half days to get acquainted. We focused our efforts on a park full of iguanas, the expansive riverside promenade, the excellent free museums and galleries, and a pretty hillside neighbourhood topped with a stripy lighthouse. Our cheap as chips flophouse next to a main road was still quieter than the aesthetically pleasing but acoustically offensive hostal we'd had in Cuenca. The modern art gallery had an extensive ethnographic section and we became mesmerised by a documentary about a group of men who sailed from Ecuador to Australia on traditional balsa wood rafts. We sat there for over an hour, prompting a security guard to come looking for their missing in action visitors. When you essentially don't have anywhere to live, there's a risk of being in constant motion. Just sitting in a quiet place, and getting immersed in something can be a real treat. Guayaquil was our gateway to the beach, so off we went again. The scenery may have been unprepossessing barren-looking sand and gravel, but it showcased the quality of the highway. Uniquely among the South American countries we've visited, across Ecuador there are subtle hints of coherent government planning and investment. From the ubiquitous rainbow branding onwards, there is a feeling of continuity despite the radically different terrains of the forest, mountains and coast. The excellent road and bridge system is one of the most obvious indicators of massive infrastructure spending, but it's also there in the schools, healthcare facilities, emergency services provision, free museums and public spaces. It seems to connect the country without homogenising. It feels lovely to visit, and I hope that translates into the experience of actually living here as Ecuador recovers from the financial troubles of the recent past.

The highway wasted no time delivering us to tiny Oloncito. Unlike most of the Pacific coast of South America, Ecuador is blessed with inviting sandy beaches so this was the first opportunity for a sea swim in four months. I say swim, but the water was really more suited to surfers, so jumping around trying not to get knocked flat by waves is probably a more apt description. Our hostal was one of those quirky labours of love, set in a tropical garden with lots of knick-knacks, hammocks, great carpentry, and inventive use of concrete. Unusually, the building we were staying in was complete, but more typically one of the others was a work in progress and another had been left with the classic concrete uprights and sprouting steel reinforcements look. Imagined but never realised upper floors are the quintessential South American building practice. We were the sole guests, which suited us just fine. Down with another cold, I took the opportunity of spending a day with nothing more pressing to do but nap. Suitably rested, we spent the next day walking on the beach, chaperoned by the resident dog Dixie. Like most of the numerous dogs in these parts, Dixie was nominally owned but free to do as he pleased. What pleased Dixie was accompanying guests wherever they went, so he'd been for lunch at a beach cabaña, showed us round Olon, and now came miles up the beach. Dixie busied himself inspecting all the corpses of huge sea birds, puffer fish, and a big turtle. Nervy orange crabs scattered as we approached, flitting into holes in the sand. We turned round as the tide reached the top of the beach, and Dixie spent the return journey accelerating wildly into the surf chasing birds. I don't spend much time with dogs and am not generally a fan, but it was a great pleasure and entertainment to be in Dixie's company. Fully in holiday mode we committed the evening to good food and sangria.

Our nine month travelling anniversary saw us reluctantly crowbarring ourselves out of Oloncito and moving a not too challenging hour up the road to Puerto Lopez. Having found our brick and bamboo hut at the northern end of the tourist town, we alighted upon a seafood restaurant for lunch. Said restaurant had a resident floofy cat and we required little persuasion (read none) to share our laps and food. I have no poker face when it comes to cats anyway, but my desperation for mog company is utterly shameless now. Puerto Lopez was well stocked with felines so there was plenty of chances for a fuss. The sea off Puerto Lopez was well stocked with whales, another fluky bit of timing on our part. The obligatory boaty day trip took us out to sea and for a visit to Isla de la Plata. We'd been given a 100% guarantee of seeing whales, which boded well, but we tried to manage our expectations. An hour off the coast and there were humpback whales everywhere. The helm did a great job of manoeuvring into good positions so we could watch these magnificent creatures sliding through the water. I'm not sure you'd ever tire of whale tail salutes. Moving on, we visited the island for a couple of hours hiking and bird watching for nesting blue-footed boobies and frigate birds. I'm not sure you'd ever tire of the amusement of hearing the word ‘boobies' repeatedly. The birds were entirely unfazed by the visitors admiring their big turquoise feet and fluffy chicks. Turtles had surrounded the boat when we arrived, and afterwards we went round to a bay for snorkelling and general coral and fish wonderment.

Much as it would have been nice to tarry by the sea, we bid our final farewell to the Pacific and embarked on a ten hour, three bus slog into the mountains. Although a long day, it all went very smoothly and we had the entertainment of passing through the marvellously named Jipijapa on the way. It was only over the last couple of hours that we gained altitude, but once the climb began it did not muck about. Sunset found us above the clouds, like a duvet of pink candy floss, before the bus picked its way across to Zumbahua in the dark. Chucked off on the highway, we zig-zagged down into the almost deserted town and found a bed for the night on the square. Finding any tea was a little tricky as the only clearly advertised restaurant wasn't serving. Next door, in what looked like someone's tiny front room were four tables and a lady serving a great value set menu. Starving, we gratefully dug into the soup, chicken and refreshing chicha morada (purple corn drink) before heading to bed. Morning revealed Zumbahua to be no more busy by day, but we found a corner cafe where another lovely indigenous lady conjured up everything she had on offer for breakfast: pastries, chicken and rice, boiled eggs, juice, tea and coffee. It was a good job she did, as it would be twelve hours before we had anything else.

Zumbahua sits on what is known as the Quilotoa Loop, a multi-day Andean hiking route. Quilotoa itself is a volcano and while we were too time strapped for the full loop, we were keen to visit there. Waddling away from breakfast we caught a lift up the road. Quilotoa village appeared to have had a very recent and very comprehensive redevelopment, resulting in something of a The Prisoner does Middle Earth vibe. There was little going on, which served to heighten the undeniable presence of the rim. Picking our way in slightly the wrong direction through a stony car park and building site, we found the main viewing area. It was, exactly as advertised yet still difficult to believe, a ruddy great volcano crater lake. So we stood there admiring it, both starting to wonder what else we were going to do with our day. Well there was a path...and maybe we could walk round the rim for a bit...and well we're at least a third of the way round now and that high bit over there looks just about manageable...

Seven hours later we were chasing the sunset back into Quilotoa, James just about still with a spring in his step, and I with legs of jelly and lead. Sometimes you really question your own sanity. Our circumnavigation had been quite a scramble round the narrow ridge, on a path primarily featuring powdered granite. Asthma plus my latest cold did me no favours whatever, and we realised part way round that this was the highest elevation yet that we’d done vigorous exercise at. The high bit reliably informed us it was 3930m, which I appreciated from my position sprawled on the ground under the sign. You certainly value your views when you've worked for them. Vast rolling mountain landscape surrounded us, striped with fields and rent with canyons. Vibrant flowers, grasses and heather-like shrubs softened the vertiginous drops on both sides. Intermittent clouds behaved themselves but painted the lake a steely emerald. Pine and the woody scent of burned stubble filled the air around the crunchy path. Given that my dodgy knees make me less mountain goat and more Professor Yaffle on slopes, it wasn't the most elegant or proficient descent. Content that we had done the volcano justice, we negotiated a lift back to Zumbahua, squished in the front seat of a pickup. Evidently, Tuesday nights in Zumbahua are even quieter than Mondays, so we had to content ourselves with a beer, then crisps and chocolate for dinner, from one of the very local local shops.

A chilly, sunny day greeted us as we exited our guesthouse the next morning. A sheep trotted across the deserted square. We eschewed the chance of fried fish for breakfast and went straight up to the highway to wait for the bus. The bus was already there so it all proved mightily efficient. A couple more hours of gorgeous mountain scenes, with occasional llama spottings and a good workout for the brakes, and we were down in Latacunga. There was no particular reason for us to visit this city near Cotapaxi volcano, but it seemed like a sensible stop on route to the north. We found somewhere to stay and were pleasantly surprised to be overlooking the main square. The rest of the day involved eating and TV, which was just what was required. Evening entertainment came courtesy of an aerobics flashmob in the square, and the sight of a group of nuns enjoying a night out at the pizzeria, sitting below a large poster of the Vatican.

We bid farewell to Latacunga and set off for Mindo, a journey involving a bus to Quito, traversing the length of the capital from southern to northern bus terminals, and then another bus. Cloud cover blocked the potential view of Cotapaxi as we sped through the self-explanatory Volcano Alley. Quito snuck up quickly, but due to it's position in a twisty valley, there was no big reveal moment. The southern bus terminal was all gleaming airport-style modernity as we transited through to one of the cross-city bendy buses. Warnings about crowding and theft risk came to naught and we made it two thirds of the way up town before being turfed off and directed to another stop on a different line. Arriving at the northern terminal we needed, we were feeling pretty smug about being in time for the one o'clock bus to Mindo. The lady selling tickets, however, was not so confident. Our transactional Spanish has developed to the point where we can ask for things, which is fine as long as those things are available and the person doesn't really have to say anything to us in response. This was not one of those times. The one o'clock wasn't going to happen, but we had no idea why. Baffled by my blank face, the woman borrowed my phrasebook and managed “the way is closed”. This wasn't particularly enlightening so I gave up and had a grumpy, helpless sit down. James successfully procured tickets for the four o'clock and we sat for three and a half hours, contemplating the meaning of her gnomic proclamation. Later, sitting in traffic so bad that the driver turned off the engine and got out of the bus, we had some idea of what she might have referred to. As we were just five hundred metres short of the equator, James posited that there had probably been a pile-up caused as all the vehicles turned the right way up for the northern hemisphere. We never did figure it out, but the road cleared, we took our latitude screenshots and the bus clambered off into the cloud forest in the failing light. It would have been a beautiful journey...on the one o'clock bus. Four hours later than expected, and after James narrowly avoided starting a barney with a nun as we tried to get off the bus, a nice cold beer was the only way to say hello to Mindo.

The morning brought hummingbirds and a large group of young Americans to our hostal. There's nothing like vocal fry grating around a hammock attic to cut through a lie-in. The hummingbirds however, were delightful, flitting and chirruping around. In the light of day, Mindo was revealed as a pretty little hippy town sitting in a bowl of forested hills. With only one road out, all other paved thoroughfares ended abruptly in trees, and were liberally decorated with snoozing dogs. We had a nice lazy day pottering around and avoiding the inevitable cloud forest rain. When choosing our accommodation we’d narrowed it down to two, both the same sort of price, and both with resident cats mentioned in the reviews (I told you it was bad), but plumped for the one with the great chill out area. The cat, a spirited little ginger, appeared when it rained and stood on my shoulders for a few minutes when I picked it up. The hostal owners didn't know what its name was or even if it had one, so we really weren't sure who had adopted who. We had vowed to be more active the next day, so set off in a cab up the mountain to the tarabita cable car. The cable car involved an open cage powered by a car engine. This led into a series of gorges full of prehistoric-looking plants, and waterfalls where you were encouraged to swim. An hour of steep forest paths later and we were at the top of a flight of waterfalls. James waited patiently as I insisted in swimming in each one on the way down. I became more soggy, dishevelled and excitable, until we ran out of waterfalls and hiked up to the cable car and back down the mountain. Needing to secure bus tickets for the next day, we went back via the high street, which involved passing the other hostal we'd considered. Surely we wouldn't happen upon Felipe, cat of Booking.com review fame. Of course we would! Felipe turned out to be a super-sociable ginger who fairly demanded a through belly rub. Mindo was full of cats, including at one of the general stores where we spied one nestled among the bananas. After a thorough shower, Saturday night proceeded in pizza and cocktails fashion.

Despite the excellent distracting cat action, we had managed to procure bus tickets, so it was off to Otavalo via the bus stations of northern Quito. Sunday traffic made this pleasingly straightforward and we were quickly through the city and heading north across the equator again. The seemingly brand new highway entered a huge, complicated valley which had been carved up and sprayed with more concrete than I've ever seen. The engineering involved was both shocking and impressive. We wound through the crumbly, cactus strewn mountains, chased by angry clouds and beat the rain to Otavalo. And here we are, in a third floor corner room with full on volcano panorama view. We've seen and done so much in Ecuador that it's exhausting just trying to remember it all. Only two weeks left now. We've gotta keep on keepin’ on!