#giantscauseway northernireland derry musings loss grief memories

[eadaoinregan-blog]

This picture was taken when I first moved to Derry in September 2015. 

Had I known then what I know now, I would probably have prepared myself better for what was to come but at the same time ignorance can be bliss. 

And so, perhaps I was better for not knowing. It  was undoubtedly my toughest year but there have been tough ones before it and looking at pictures like this, taken during the intervening great times, is a comfort on tough days like today. Days where it hits me again that he is gone, which I know I should respect though I hope he understands why it is hard for those who are left behind to understand why people choose to go.

You were too kind for this world to the last, not wanting to bother anyone with your troubles. I wish you had spoken up. I wish you had shouted, cried or screamed for us to look and see. Really see. I like to think that I would have noticed but perhaps that is just a vain musing. 

For someone who loved the sea, it is a pity you couldn’t hold on longer to see it. You are much loved and missed Frostie.