#ghosting me for a year since i asked a million times and said I'd stop messaging if you didn't want to be friends anymore. fuck you i have
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It's getting close to my birthday which means I have to start getting ready for nobody except my family (who i mostly don't want to talk to anyway because they're abusive or homophobic) and my girlfriend to tell me happy birthday since none of my friends in California ever talk to me anymore and I've given up after reaching out a bunch of times and never ever hearing back, and it's so close to Christmas that I can't expect any of my friends from work to remember. I know I could mention it/ remind them but I feel bad doing that when I know at least everyone i directly with with celebrates Christmas which means they'll be busy thinking about that and I don't want them to have to worry about my birthday too. Like I get why this happens and it's 99% my fault but it still sucks.
Idek why I'm still sad that I know I won't hear anything from the "friends" I've been hoping to hear from for over a year. I mean one of them had a whole baby and never even responded to my congratulations message (that i sent after I found out from instagram) even though it says she read it and I know she was having whole conversations with other people in comments on her posts and telling them to text her back. I guess i just wasn't as close of a friend as I thought, which sucks but I get it. But when do I go from "people have their own lives and sometimes just don't have time or energy to respond to you" to "well I've reached out a ton of times and never got a single response or even a 'sorry I'm overwhelmed but I'll message when I can' so I'm gonna give up"? I think a year and a half is long enough right?
I feel like with good friends you generally don't end up lying in bed all day extremely depressed thinking about how much you wish they'd just tell you they don't want to talk anymore so that you could stop being disappointed every time they don't respond to a message or do things like tell you happy birthday. I mean they used to be good friends and I thought I could rely on them to be there for me and I thought they knew I would also always be there for them but I guess that's just not something that always lasts
#also one of those friends just fell off the face of the earth after i told her i was nonbinary#which sucks because i thought we were really good friends and that whole group went to a gay club all the time#and she never said anything transphobic to me about any of the trans people who were there#i mean our last conversation was her asking a couple questions then saying it might be hard for her to switch my name and pronouns#and i said it's okay and i don't mind as long as she's trying b/c i understand it being hard when we've known each other since third grade#and then i just never heard from her again even though i sent an 'i miss you!' message or respond to her sc story every few weeks#idk the three of us have been friends since early elementary school and spent almost every day together in 2016 but then i went back to co#and i guess that's just too far for us to maintain a friendship for more than a year or so#it shouldn't still bother me#friendships end#but i really cared about them#I'm starting to think I'm the one doing something wrong because while these friendships sort of just fizzled out#every friend i had in elementary and middle and high school and in college has either just disappeared from my life#or said they don't want to be friends/ talk to me anymore (which is mainly one friend and their sister and i was friends with those 2 for 12#years and then the main friend stopped wanting to see me or hang out after i told them about childhood trauma and they said i changed too#too much after that and then moved to another state and only called me if they needed to get out of something and never responded to any#texts or messages then sent a thank you card for a graduation gift their sister made me buy that said#'i think our friendship is over sorry thanks' and i sent a somewhat angry message like 'wtf you literally could have just told me instead of#ghosting me for a year since i asked a million times and said I'd stop messaging if you didn't want to be friends anymore. fuck you i have#better and more fun friends now' and then their sister got mad at me and said that her sibling thought i might be mad at them?? like no shit#anyway that one sucked and really hurt)#but yeah at this point I'm pretty sure I'm the one doing something wrong and i just shouldn't try to have friends anymore#anyway that got way off topic but yeah that's what's up right now
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It's Better When The Sun Goes Down — Nanami x Reader
This is a piece for the Anilysium Server NSFW Collab! Make sure to check the masterlist to see other writer's works! This month's prompt was: "I can't hold back anymore"
I'd like to dedicate this fanfic to one of my dearest and closest friends. I'm not a Nanami simp myself, but they are. And I have fun writing for Nanami, and also I love writing angsty things and flawed characters. Reg, I hope you enjoy this as much as you enjoy my more casual writing.
(it's pink bcs youre Chancho)
Word Count: 5.4K
Warnings: Mentions of breakup and heartbreak, alcohol and drug consuption, public sex, ghosting, lots and lots of angst. This does not have a happy ending. This is also non proof read bcs I kinda left it to the last minute I'm sorry, I'll go back and edit it when I am not in a rush dcj nd
Summary: Nanami’s return to the Sorcerer life wasn’t so bad. It could be better if Gojo wasn’t determined to get him back with his ex. As Nanami tries to get on good terms with them, things get out of control, only to end up where it all began.
I made this playlist while writing, in case you wanna listen to it while reading. Preferably listen to it without the shuffle, but you can hear it on shuffle, no biggie.
Nanami had forgotten how painfully unbearable Gojo could be. His return as a Sorcerer had been nothing out of the ordinary for a Sorcerer's standards. Missions here and there, or watching over some of Gojo's students. But God, he had surely stepped out of the line this time.
He couldn't even begin to explain how much he hated his current situation. Fighting by your side for the first time in years felt like rubbing hot oil on an open wound. The uncomfortable ignoring the elephant in the room between you two, as you two tracked and fought what felt like a million Curses.
When the adrenaline was at its peak, it felt almost nostalgic; though he'd then remembered everything else and immediately made his own reality bitter and awkward. Overshadowed by the advantage of years of experience ahead of him made him resent you even more. He knew it was childish and pointless to keep remembering everything that happened between you two, but that bittersweet memory would most likely keep him at bay.
You were still strong, witty, fearless, reckless and quick to act and defend yourself. The way you moved looked more swiftly and coordinated than you did back in your student days. Almost as if you were a professional dancer. He hated every bit of it. He couldn’t stop looking at you, thinking about you, and the possibilities of what you two would have become.
After the mission was over, no words were exchanged between you two. Aside from the: "Are you alright?" He told you as you simply gave him a thumbs up as you caught your breath drenched in sweat. An entire ride in an uncomfortable silence, until he reached the school and you got out of the car.
"Thanks. You did a great job. Keep it up" You said. Cold, and straight to the point. Closing his car door before he could reply. And soon, you were gone.
As Nanami tried to get his mind off the mission, Gojo made it difficult. He called him to ask for the details of the mission. He seemed amused and intrigued, as clearly you hadn't told him shit. And honestly, he could understand why. Gojo was meddling on things that weren’t his business, and things that had died a long time ago.
"Why are you interrogating me, Gojo?" He asked as he pressed hisnfingers on the bridge of his nose. "Ask your underling…"
"Because that jerk left for the bar as soon as they arrived" He explained. "And I know better than to annoy a drunk [Name], It took me a while but...I finally learned my lesson" He chuckled. “I knew they could hit hard, but damn, I had a big ass bruise…” Nanami could almost hear his stupid grin.
"You make it sound like it's a recurrent event" Nanami pointed out, slightly surprised as he didn't know you were a drinker.
"Oh, Nanami-kun, you really know nothing huh?" Gojo said, smiling widely as he had managed to manipulate Nanami into asking.
"Know what?" Nanami hissed as he now swore he could hear Nanami creepily grinning at his phone.
"No, nothing!” Gojo said as if it were nothing; trying and succeeding at peeking at Nanami’s curiosity “I'm not gonna talk over depressing things on the phone. Gotta go, bye! Kith kith, Kento-kun" Gojo sang and hung up, as he smirked, proud of his little mischief. He sighed deeply as he stretched in his bed. "Soon, those two will be back together" he smirked to himself.
Nanami hissed a curse under his breath as he locked his phone and threw it on his bed and went to the kitchen. If he had understood well, Gojo had just hinted at a possible drinking problem. He tried shaking his mind off of it. You couldn't, could you? You weren’t a drinker...You weren’t the last time he saw you. You were able to party and have fun without having to intoxicate yourself.
You were wild, cheerful, unpredictable. Everything he was not. And that’s what had made him fall in love with you back in your school days. You were so laid back, he could feel it permeating into him when you two hung out. The few times he’d broken rules was because you’d been the bad influence, however, you somehow managed to get away with it, and leave him with some distant memory in which he felt actually glad to be alive. He usually felt like he was walking on a cloud stuck in time, being present and enjoying the little things that made his everyday memories.
He’d really screwed up after breaking up with you...if he could call that a breakup... His life took a dramatic turn. And then, he turned his back to this world, and got immersed in the gray life the average man in Japan had. Away from what he's familiar with, away from his friends, away from you.
And now, apparently, you had a drinking habit. He wondered if he had caused it, or if he was one of the reasons behind it. The guilt started creeping in. The same guilt and regret he felt after ghosting on you. Not being able to bring himself to properly end things with you.
The guilt he’d managed to swipe under the rug for so many years creeped back out, and followed him around as the afternoon went by. After having a shower, changing into more comfortable clothes and in a lame attempt to cook dinner, he decided to test his luck. He put on a dark button down shirt and decided to go to the bar closest to the School. He felt the naive hope to find you there. However, if you had an actual problem, then his chances to see you there were higher.
Such was his surprise to find you there, trying to get rid of some insistent guy who kept talking to you despite your very obvious lack of interest. Before you could spot him, he watched you aggressively turn to the guy and talk to him in a rather rude tone. Sounding almost like a moody sailor as the guy’s face soon was washed with horror and disgust and walked away. As you turned your face back to your drink, your eyes scanned the bar, finally spotting him.
“Oh god” You whined as you pulled the glass to your lips. “It’s too early to be this drunk…” You hissed.
“Mind if I sit here?” He asked, pointing at the chair in front of you.
“Tell Gojo to go fuck himself…” You snapped at him as you stood up and stumbled your way to the bar asking for a refill. Nanami looked at you, feeling slightly sorry for your tipsy state, as he’d never seen you like that. And he knew being mad and drunk was never a good combination. As you turned around with your glass and made your way back to your table, you gave him a slightly repulsed smile. “You’re still here…”
“Gojo didn’t send me here, if that’s what you’re thinking” He replied.
“He might as well have manipulated you into doing so, has that crossed your mind?” You said with a sassy tone as you sat back down. “Why are you still standin’?”
Nanami took that as an invitation as he ignored your last comment, trying to refuse the idea that Gojo had manipulated him.
“Rough day, huh?” He said as you nodded and stared at your drink.
“Look, Kento. I’m glad that you’re back. I really am. You’re strong, and you’re smart…” You began. “But I’m gonna cut the chase, I’m kinda annoyed too. Ever since you got back, Gojo has been sticking his snobby nose into my business” You explained. “Many of the missions he sends you in, I’m supposed to be there as well, but manage to get busy by then and not go”
“So you’re actively avoiding me?”
“Yes” You replied bluntly. “Mostly because Gojo is trying very hard to bring us back together. But no, I learned my lesson the first time” You said taking a sip to your scotch, feeling it smoothly sliding down your throat, no longer feeling the burn from the alcohol.
“I haven’t apologized for that…” Nanami began.
“Don’t” You interrupted him. “It’s better this way”
“Are you sure? Because you still seem to have an issue with it…” Nanami said, managing to read you like an open book like he always did. He still had that ability.
You glared at him, angrily as you opened your mouth to snap back at him, but your mind was foggy and a big portion of your brain was focused on the little details surrounding him. His black shirt, the first buttons undone. His thick wrists, one of them hiding underneath a fancy looking watch, his blond hair pushed back, his sharp features...And god, his smell. The smell of his cologne luring you in like a fly to honey. Since any words made it to your mouth, your next step was to take another sip.
“You’re drinking too fast” He pointed out.
“None of your business” You said standing up and taking your wallet out and leaving a few bills on the tale. “I’m out” You said coldly and walked out of the bar.
Nanami sighed, frustrated that he hadn’t managed to get anything out of interaction. Aside from the pretty clear fact that you disliked him. However, he didn’t think of the possibility of you resenting him so much because you still had feelings for him.
As you walked out of the bar, the chilly wind hit the back of your neck, making you shiver. You cursed, knowing it was going to make you feel drunker faster. You made your way to the school with long steps, trying to make it to your dorm before your last drink made it to your head. Despite the cold wind, the hot tears in your eyes in a way kept your face warm. As you tried to keep yourself from crying, you heard steps behind you.
“Wait” You heard Nanami’s voice calling behind you as you stopped on command, against your own will. You swallowed the lump on your throat and managed to keep the tears still in your eyes, as you refused to look at
him. “At least let me walk you home. You can’t walk on your own like this…”
“Oh, so now you care?” You said turning around and looking at him, giving him a smug smile. “You’ve changed” You scoffed bitterly.
“Please” He said, knowing better than trying to argue with you.
Your stare on him softened, as something within you urged you to say yes. To have more time with Nanami and maybe cling to the bittersweet memories you were constantly reliving since his return.
“Fine” You said, very much to his surprise. He smiled and walked closer to you with the gentle smile that had been haunting your dreams as of lately.
“C’mon. My car is not far from here…”
You stopped coldly as he mentioned a car. Taking a second look at him, you wondered how much he’d changed. He’d become an adult through and through, hadn’t he? While you were still a mess...Or so you thought. To Nanami’s eyes, you were a far better sorcerer and warrior than him. And he envied you for it.
“Are you actually going to take me to the school?” You asked, suddenly growing suspicious of him, as you’d had plenty of experiences with strangers on the street and knew better than going into someone’s car in a drunken state.
Not that you didn’t trust Nanami. You didn’t trust yourself drunk.
“I was actually thinking of taking you somewhere for dinner and then to the school” He said.
“Not hungry”
“No, but you’re drunk. It’ll sober you up, and tomorrow morning you’ll thank me when you wake up without a hangover” He said as he walked towards his car.
“I don’t have any more money on me” You lied, looking for an excuse to avoid spending any more than necessary with him.
“I didn’t ask you if you have money” He said boldly as he managed to make you smirk for the first time since his return.
“Smooth, Nanami. You’ve grown” You said as you followed him.
The walk to his car felt like your chest burnt far more than the alcohol ever did. It felt bitter, it hurt and was nauseating. Was it really it, or was it the alcohol finally catching up with you? Like flashes of instant memories being erased from your memory, the drive to a restaurant felt like a poorly edited foreign film. The car felt like some intense themed park ride as you felt dizzy with the alcohol whispering everything you missed about him. It was gross and it was sickening.
The Ramen sign on the outside on itself managed to sober you up a little by taking your mind off Nanami. As you followed him, clumsily standing on your feet, you sat on one of the tables and tried to make sense of the dancing letters in the menu. More flashes of memories were taken off your head, as you wondered what was happening and how drunk were you for you to start blacking out.
“Not good…” you muttered under your breath.
“Did you say something?” Nanami asked.
“No. Nothing”
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m not”
“You’ll feel better in a bit. Don’t worry…” He said softly as he sipped from a soda you didn’t know he had. When had he ordered it? You looked in front of you to the nice surprise that you had one too despite not knowing how or when. “I ordered some ramen for you. Something spicy...It’ll sober you up faster”
You chuckled as you looked at him.
“And how do you know that?” You asked with a cheeky tone as he smiled softly.
“Went drinking a lot with friends from work” He said. “I learned a few things here and there”
More brief black outs kept lazily painting a rather miserable painting in your memory. As you ate your ramen, you found yourself relaxing more and more. Was it the hot spicy broth? In the beginning, the balck outs weren’t getting any less frequent, however, as the night went by, you found yourself sobering up like he said. Soon, the black outs were gone, however you were still somehow locked in a haze. Although it made sense. The amount of booze as well as the short time, it was going to take a lot more than just one hot bowl of spicy ramen to get you back to a sober state.
The conversation kept flowing comfortably as both of you ate. It was reminiscent of the old days, nostalgic and somehow morbid. As the both of you tried to grasp at the old days when your worries were limited to school work. Catching up like old friends who hadn't seen each other, as if you didn’t have hard feelings for each other.
After having finished your food, Nanami paid for both of your meals and went back out into the cold night. The sky black, stars hidden by the streetlights as you made it to his car and finally noticed the silver color in it.
As he drove back to the school, you noticed he took a small detour, instantly setting alarms in your head.
“Where are we going?” You asked, your voice considerably serious as he noticed the change in tone from the pleasant talk they were having in the restaurant.
“There’s somewhere I’d like to go…” He said as he briefly looked at you and gave you a tender smile.
That smile made your heart uncomfortably skip a beat as you hated the effect he still had on you. You didn’t dare to ask any further as you slowly recognized the route he was taking. As he slowly took one of the roads towards the edge of the city close to the coast line. He stopped in a rather deserted place, as he got off the road and stopped the car.
Despite the lack of light, aside from the few streetlights, you knew exactly where you were. A whole in your chest opened dramatically as you felt your eyes tear up and happy memories attached to the location flooded your mind.
“Kento…” You said chuckling bitterly.
“When I said I wanted to apologize, I meant it…” He said as you clenched your jaw and looked out your window, avoiding his stare.
“And I told you I didn’t want to talk about it…”
“You’re still upset about it, I get it. And I don’t blame you” He began as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. “Look at me, please”
You wanted to say something to him. But you knew you would break down crying as soon as you opened your mouth. You took a deep breath and without saying anything you looked at him. His dark brown eyes gazing into yours, as he was looking at you with a rather pained stare.
“You remember this place, don’t you?” He asked.
A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you clicked your seatbelt, getting it off.
“I’m done” You said dryly as you opened the door and got out of the car.
“No, [Name]. Please, wait” He said as he mirrored your movements and excited the car walking around it.
“Of fuckign course I know where I am, Kento” You barked as you walked away approaching the door. “I know where I lost my fucking virginity, okay?” You barked as you stopped coldly and looked at him, tears finally streaming off your face. “Look, I’ll make us a favour and summarize this conversation. Yes, you’re a fucking asshole for just taking off one day and completely disappearing. Yes, I’m still mad about it. No, I won’t take your apology. No, I don’t care about whatever shitty excuse you have for me to listen to you. You bringing me here out of all places isn’t going to change shit…” You spat all in one breath as you stopped and took a deep breath.
“I loved you, Kento. I really did. And it hurt to have you just dissipate like you were a hallucination or something...You were my first kiss, my first love, my first everything! And one day I lost all of that. You ruined sex for me!” You yelled angrily. “I could never hold, kiss or sleep with anyone, because at some point I’d see your stupid face, and then be incredibly underwhelmed because I would not enjoy sex. I can’t feel anything anymore, Kento...The only way I can actually enjoy those things is by getting drunk or high” You admitted. “I can’t walk into bookstores, nor eat sandwiches or diet coke, nor drink tea because all those things remind me of you. And yes, it’s lame that all these years later I still care about those things. And this is why I can’t forgive you” You cried, as your voice shook.
Nanami’s heart broke little by little at each one of your words. He knew he’d screwed up and had hurt you deeply. But he wasn’t aware of the actual impact. He clenched his jaw as he felt his chest tight and a lump on his throat. Now the drinking problem made sense. Gojo had painted it like you were an alcoholic, but it wasn’t exactly the case. So you’d gone to the bar to get it off with some stranger, probably pretending it was him.
The dizzying pain and weight of his mistakes blinded him for a second as he walked towards you as you kept bitterly complaining. As you tried to walk away, you made a very poor effort as he caught up with you and cupped your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him and shutting you up by pressing his lips against you.
The sudden surprise made your heart stop. Your mind turning numb and blank at once as you struggled to bring yourself to push him away. However, truth be told, you didn't want to push him away. The poor attempt to push him away was more than obvious. The strong fighter you were, barely making any physical effort. Nanami's hands wrapped around your back and pulled you close, squeezing you against him as he sighed into the kiss.
Finally kissing him back, you locked your lips against his desperately, eager to taste the lips you've been dreading in your dreams. Clinging to him like he was going to disappear again, a soft whimper escaped your mouth. Your chest pressing against him as he felt his own world getting blurry.
He broke the kiss pulling away as he pressed his forehead against yours.
“You have no idea how much I missed you” He whispered as you clung to him.
“I-I…” You stuttered, the words tasting bitter before they even made it to your mouth. “Fuck, I want you, Kento” You growled as he pulled you in, kissing you hungrily again.
His hands posessively clinging to you as he slowly guided you back to the car. One step at the time as you both melted in a hungry sour kiss. As you ran out of breath, you pulled away, gasping for air as you gripped his collar in your hands.
“I can’t hold back anymore” You said as you pulled away and grabbed his hand, walking back to his car.
Your words unleashed a shiver down his spine as his heart skipped a beat and raced like crazy, as his pants started feeling tighter on his crotch. He chuckled softly as he realized his own judgement seemed to have disappeared with that first kiss. And before you could even make it to his car, he gripped your hips and spun you around as he bumped his forehead against yours.
“I can’t either” He admitted as he guided you to the car’s hood and pulled you over it. Ass you sat on the warm hood, he got between your legs and you wasted no time wrapping them around his waist. He grunted softly feeling your crotch against his as you pulled him closer to seal your lips together.
As you soon were absorbed by the dizziness of your rising heat, his hand went to your bare thighs as he slowly caressed your skin, going up and lifting your skirt up in the process. A soft moan slid into his mouth as he gripped your ass softly and squeezed it. The way your skin got covered in goosebumps and how you jerked your hips made him moan in response.
It felt good, and intoxicating. The driving desire burning his insides. The feeling of desiring to taste you all over and have you shaking underneath him. God, he’d missed that particular rush of adrenaline. His body reacting to the deeply buried memories now loose. He felt like he was in the best high he’d experienced. Lightheadedness and presence in the moment, he hadn’t felt this alive in so long.
Your hands were slowly undoing his buttoned shirt and were quick to explore his warm skin. He pulled away from the kiss, gasping as he looked at you. Your devilish smile matching your hungry stare. You leaned forward kissing his neck, nibbling on his skin every now and then. His hand gripped your hair tightly, pulling it lightly, making you look up at him as he stared at you.
He leaned forward, kissing you once more, this time a lot more slow and a lot more tender. It was sweet and it was slow and it took you by surprise. You felt his sweet kiss begging you, still holding on to the feelings you both decided to drown unsuccessfully. It almost hurt. It was the kind of kiss that told you how much you missed and needed each other. How much you regretted the mistakes you’ve done.
As you melted against his lips, his hands slowly slid your panties off. You helped him lifting your hips a little but as you giggled against his lips.
“Eager?” You said with a playful smirk.
“You have no idea” He replied as he took off your panties and shoved them in his back pocket.
His hand made it back to your thigh, slowly going up until he palmed your hot sex. Stealing a gasp out of your mouth, he teasingly ran one of his fingers through your dripping slit, making him smile satisfied.
“I’m not the only one, huh?” He said as you looked at him with lustful eyes.
You took his glasses off and set them aside. You were about to go back to kissing his neck when he slid one finger inside of you effortlessly. A rather loud moan escaped your lips as you shut your eyes closed feeling your entire body tingle in a way you hadn’t felt in years. You smiled satisfied as you continued kissing his neck. Slowly, he got another finger inside. The delicious stretch of his second finger prompting you to bite his neck softly making him growl your name softly. His fingers explored the whole he knew so well, as he found your sweet spot almost by muscle memory. More moans came out of your throat sounding like music to his ears.
“Fuck, Kento” You hissed as you took off your top, not caring that you were outdoors and by the road. Up to this point, you were so pent up, you simply craved him like you’d never craved anything before.
Nanami wasted no time and kissed your neck, going down to your neck, gently biting your skin every now and then. Sucking delicately on your skin, leaving marks that wouldn’t last long. He pulle dhis fingers out of you, clinging to your body desperately. As you laid on the car’s hood, you devoured him with your lustful eyes, begging him to get on top of you. Wearing just your skirt by this point, Nanami groaned at the plain sight of you.
He undid his belt and his pants. Your hands playfully teasing your own body in an attempt to drive him crazier and crazier. He cursed under his breath as he couldn’t take it any longer. He pulled his painfully hard erection out of his pants. You watched hi, intrigued, stretching your hands towards him, gently gripping his dick. His breath hitched and you smiled proudly.
Nanami leaned over the car hood, slowly getting on top of you, his shaft resting on your belly as he looked at how much deep could he go inside of you. His tip almost reaching you belly button, as the idea alone made a shiver run down his spine.
"Please, Kento" you gasped, need dripping from your voice as you caressed his dick
He growled softly as he pulled away softly, aligning against your entrance and slowly going in. You gasped, pushing your head back and pressing your hips against his making him go deeper.
Hissing your name, he jerked his hips, his tip.kissing your cervix as sudden rush of pain jolted through your body, followed by pleasure. You dug your nails in his shoulders as he thrusted back and forth, hitting all the right spots. The sound of his gasps and grunts hypnotizing as you got wetter by the second. His length coated in your juices, echoing in lewd wet noises.
He was rough. He usually was. Back in student days, he was particularly rough. As quiet and collected as he seemed, he sure got his stress out if his body through wild sex.
Relentlessly pushing against you, stretching you in such a delicious way only he knew how. Strong and aggressive movements as your walls swallowed him whole every time, breathless moans escaping your lips with every push. The cool wind kissing your skin, only enhancing his warmth.
As you felt your orgasm progressively approaching, the realization of how addicted you were to him hit you. He was everything you desired. And it was wrong. Before the feeling of uneasiness started to sink in, a sudden electric rush ran through your body. Painfully and soothing, as you tightly clenched around himbsoon numbed your mind.
As you came around him, your walls sucked him in tightly, as he was right over the brink, your velvet flesh pushed him off the edge. He didn't have time to pull out. And honestly, he didn't want to pull out. The way your walls milked him felt delicious. As he rode you through your orgasm, filling you up as his head felt dizzy and the world was spinning faster than usual. His hot seed coating your insides, as you shut your eyes closed, feeling the very last of your orgasm fading away.
He pressed his forehead against yours. Loud pants echoing.
However, the world didn't quite return to its regular focus.
The rest of the night went by in a fuzzy hot mess of events. You returned to his apartment and kept feasting on each other, making up for the lost time. Both of you incredibly starved and needy, you desperately went at it over and over again. It was a rather long night. As you feared, no one made you feel as he did. All of him was addicting. His smell, his voice, his warmth, his skin...It didn’t matter how many strangers you fucked, or how drunk or high you were, he felt just right. He made you cum so easily, it seemed ridiculous everyone else couldn’t.
But you knew it was far more than that.
You were still deeply in love with him. No wonder why he had that effect on you. Just hearing his breathlessly gasp was enough to have you soaking wet and under his mercy. Between sweet kisses, fake promises and sweaty sex, he quite literally fucked you to oblivion. Until either of you could take it any longer and you two fell asleep in each other’s arms. It had been a long tiring night, as you knew many of your muscles were gonna be sore the next day. Your chest painted in red and blue bruises.
It was possibly one of the best night sleeps he’d had. In such a long time. The uncomfortable hole in his chest didn’t feel so wide now. Just like you, he didn’t know how much he actually needed you until now. His regrets, his guilt, the thoughts haunting him on how much of a jerk he’d been when he simply took off...All those feelings went away for a night. As he tasted the wonders of the universe under your skin. Feeling ecstatic and euphoric for the first time in years. However, nothing could’ve prepared Nanami for what he was about to experience when he woke up.
~
“What the hell is this?” Gojo asked as he waved around the folder you’d left a few hours earlier in the Headmaster’s office.
“Why the fuck do you care?” You said as you grabbed it, ripping it off his hands.
“You’re seriously leaving for Kyoto?” He whined.
“So my transfer was accepted? Great!” You said sarcastically as you opened the folder and saw the Headmaster’s seal at the bottom.
“What about Nanami-kun?” Gojo replied as the very last string of your patience snapped.
“Oh, fuck you, Gojo! You tried to force us back together, but it’s not going to happen” You snapped. “I’m done. I’m done with him, and I’m done with you sticking your nose in my business”
“Do you really think that running away will solve anything? You’ll still be depressed as hell”
“The less I know about him, the better” You said as you turned around, hot tears blurring your sight as you headed with long steps towards your room. “I don’t trust myself around him…” You whispered. “He’s my weakness Gojo, I can’t let that happen…” You said coldly.
You’d left that morning very early, before Nanami woke up. And you left leaving no trace of you ever being there. Unintentionally doing the same he did. It was unintentional because you hadn’t done it out of spite. Your thought process had been simply. You preferred to not have that conversation and simply leave without him noticing. You had had the exact same thought process Nanami had had all those years ago.
You didn’t waste time and soon started packing your things to leave for Kyoto right away.
#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen imagines#nanami kento#nanami x you#nanami kento imagines#nanami x reader#nanami angst#server collab
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Chibnall, Children, Choice and Consequence
Allow me to introduce a companion piece to A Treatise on the Doctor:
It's pretty simple:
Chibnall knows what he's doing and is playing a long game to show how the Doctor needs to take more responsibility.
Let me start off with my favorite examples. That's right, plural.
Every single villain 13 faces is never defeated, merely pushed away from causing them any immediate problems. Tim Shaw being the prime example.
1&10. Seriously, Tim Shaw. Her plan was to use his own bombs on him and then teleport him off the planet. Even without Ranskoor Av Kolos, the Doctor should have thought to check in on him. Especially after The Ghost Monument showed the Stenza were a greater threat than she knew. She still hasn't even checked up on WHAT THE HELL THE STENZA ARE! They sound worse than Daleks but naw, let's go rain-bathing in the upper tropics of Canstano instead.
2. Ghost Monument. We saw the END of an interuniversal race. What the fuck is the beginning that got them there? Who is Illyn and how and why did he orchestrate a super race?
3. Krasko. Sent back in time. Really, Doc? Not gonna take a look at the device and see where Ryan sent the prick so you can double check that he's not gonna cause anymore damage?
4. President Trump analog. Ooooo, you looked at him menacingly, Doc, that'll show him!! Not like he's gonna KEEP DOING ILLEGAL SHIT LIKE THIS.
5. The Pting. She literally shunted it off ship to be dealt with by someone else BUT DOESN'T GO BACK TO BE THAT SOMEONE ELSE ONCE SHE HAS HER TARDIS. That's like leaving a living nuke floating around after sweeping it under the rug while you fly off to Paris.
6. The Pakistani-Indian conflict still happens and millions still die. Not her fault but still....
7. Kerblam. Sure, Charlie's terrorism was solved but not the underlying problem that led to it. Humans still can't work because corporations like profits over people.
8. Similar to the Punjab, how you gonna solve sexism, classism and all the -isms?
9. WHY WAS THE SOLITRACT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE??!! It's been around since before the universe. Why'd it decide to come back now? It's a whole universe trying to hug our universe to death. Maaaaaaybe we should check out why.
11. She's gets a pass on the Dalek. Fucking impossible to eradicate them.
12. The Master!!! Finally she checks up on something after the adventures... and it's horrible. With everything gone to shit in her absence. Seeing a pattern yet?
And Barton? And the Cassaven? They didn't disappear into smoke.
13. Multiple Earths being multiply fucked. Remember when I said the Doctor couldn't solve racism, classism, sexism, or any of the other -isms? Starting to look like she needs to TRY.
14. The Skithra FLY OFF after getting hit by a laser beam. That kind of thing tends to piss people off. Even if they're idiots using other's technology.
15. Jack. The Judoon. The Ruth Doctor. All things I'd start checking out if I had a time machine BUT
16. WE CAN'T cause the TARDIS emergency alert is going off and we need to hurry up and run and solve this problem before we run out of time in our TIME AND SPACE MACHINE. Leading to another problem the Doctor could help solve but won't. Plastic and over-consumption.
17. Oh yeah, let's trap two Eternals from another universe in the same place. There's NO WAY that could ever turn out bad.
18,19,20. And again. Cyberium. Pushed off Shelley onto herself and onto Ashad and onto The Master.
That's almost 20 "enemies" the Doctor still needs to deal with.
Oh, not to mention that they let UNIT go defunct because they didn't have the forethought to ask if they needed any money in their alien fighting budget. After asking for an office, a desk, and a job. Kinda funny that way, aren't they?
I hope by now you've gotten the idea that this is VERY deliberate. This is Chibnall laying down some very heavy pipe to smack the Doctor like a clothesline. There isn't a one of these situations that can't come around to bite her in the ass.
Barton, Roberts, Skithra. These are all very loose strands for a time traveller like the Doctor to get tripped up on. Chibnall's past episodes prove it. They're all about the Doctor learning how to take responsibility.
42: The Doctor almost gets Martha killed and almost gets himself killed trying to fix it.
The Hungry Earth: The Doctor (a thousand year old "adult") tells Elliot (a 10 year old kid) that "Sure it's totally fine to go get your headphones while we prepare for an approaching unknown alien force." And 11 rightfully gets his ass chewed for it by the child's mother when the kid goes missing because OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS, JACKASS!
Cold Blood: I could write an entire essay about the Doctor's guilt over the Silurian/Human conflicts they've witnessed, but I don't need to. Because every single Silurian centered episode written in the new era is from Chris Chibnall. And you can feel the sad knowledge of Classic Who spill through. He KNOWS how many times the Doctor has fucked up with the Silurians (about 8 times in television format. And it's rough everytime. Rough.) and he writes those episodes like an apology on behalf of the whole human race. And the Doctor. You know why people are put off by Warriors of the Deep? 5 releases a gas that melts the Silurians. And though it's cheesy, the idea and execution is still horrible.
Add to that if the Doctor hadn't stopped to check the crack, then Rory wouldn't have waited and been around to be shot then absorbed by the time crack.
Power of Three: An entire episode about how the Doctor has a problem slowing down and really taking account of the lives of their companions.
Dinosaurs on a Spaceship: The Doctor actually tries to be responsible and pick the right people for a job. For once. But gets angry when they realize it's too late and there's another bunch of Silurians they failed to save. Classic!
Like I said, if you can't see the pattern, you're not paying enough attention to your responsibilites.
Which leads me to the why.
When you fly around time and space for thousands of years, you develop a few duties of care along the way. In every situation, you're the oldest. Technically the only adult in terms of experience. You have a responsibility to act a little less rude and be a bit more aware than needing cue cards to tell you that you should be sad about things around you. And that's the purpose of 13. She's unlucky but learning. Like 12 telling himself something with his face he couldn't say out loud, 13's instincts are leading her to a new place for the Doctor: being a caring, responsible person. Not so much laughing hard or running fast, but being kind. It's the one thing they recognized as a problem in themselves when seeing 1. Being a Doctor is about being kinder than that. Just because you HAVE to saw someone's leg off, that doesn't mean you can't wait a little and comfort them before you do it.
You wanna know what gave me every faith in Chibnall showrunning Doctor Who? 13 staying for Grace's funeral.
Do you understand how unprecedented that is? This is the same person who never said Goodbye to Jo Grant as she got married and fucked off into the night. The same Doctor who said, "I don't do domestic.", did it with Rose a regeneration later, and then closed himself off to everyone but a married couple he felt guilty about who ended up birthing his wife. Have you any idea the number of funerals the Doctor should have the common decency to sit through? This many.
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So for 13 to stay around for the death of a woman she has only just met and not only that, BUT call out Ryan's father for not doing the same, it shows tremendous character growth. It's taken millennia but they're still changing.
Something similar happens with Rosa and The Witchfinders. Realizing that there a lot of companions who have been in situations that are sometimes worse than aliens, but they still manage to make it through. So she needs to buck it up and persevere for everyone else.
That's where her anger comes from, and really it's one of my favorite traits on her. It reminds me of 7. Someone impossibly old and impossibly kind saying to hell with it and at least having some fun with the evils who drag us through the universe. And just like Cartmel planned for 7, 13's past will come to haunt her.
That's where children come in. Most of us are crying babies to the Doctor.
There's this thing you notice most in British shows about answering the question directly as asked. Someone says "Are you sure?", you answer "Sure". That's a direct acknowledgement that you heard the question, understood it, and processed it enough to respond in a manner directly correlating to the question asked. Yas and Graham got it and said "Sure" but Ryan missed it and said "Deffo". This is like Elliot with the headphones. The Doctor should have immediately been like, "Okay, Ryan, it's obvious that you're still dealing with the trauma of your grandmother's death and probably not processing things on a logical level. I said "Are you sure?" Not "Are you deffo?" Because we are most definitely not deffo, Ryan. Graham, you wanna help here?"
I'm being sarcastic for points sake but you understand the idea. The Doctor knows better and has a responsibility as such. She should've really sat down with Ryan and Graham and seen if there was a better way to process their grief.
Because I'm fairly certain that "Deffo" is gonna lead to Ryan's death and Graham's cancer resurging as time cancer (I don't know what time cancer is. I just know it's bad.)
And that is gonna piss Yas off. Which will give you all that character you think she's missing (she isn't. Her character is in her subtleties and silences.). That's WHY her character is a police officer (like how does no else see that the man who wrote Broadchurch wrote an inspector character companion?) Imagine you're Yaz and you see the Doctor flying around in a big, magic box that says POLICE. As a fellow officer, you're gonna expect some basic safety protocols.
Like do a background check on everyone flying in the TARDIS to know whether they're stable enough (mentally, physically, emotionally) for time and space travel. It's no picnic. These people are going to go through hell. A little vetting and planning like Time Heist or Dinosaurs on a Spaceship goes a long way.
Secondly, full fucking disclosure.
"Oh. I can't die because I change my body. Oh. I have arch enemies that will try to kill and torture us any chance they get. Oh. My home planet is full of the biggest assholes in the universe and I'm including my arch enemies."
Third, police like to do this thing called "check-ups" where they go back to the scene of the crime in order to see if there is any more information that can be gleaned which you might not notice when you are busy running around trying not to be killed... Like, the Doctor has the perfect machine to do this with, but nope. Adventure done, run to the next place!!
These are all things you'd expect any reasonable person to do and say when taking others flying off into time and space and "helping". Even if they are an idiot passing through and learning. Especially when you consider the Doctor is vastly older and more experienced than everyone they encounter. They SHOULD know better. And they've got the lifespan to slow down. It's not like they need to be in a hurry because they're going to die at any moment like humans. The Doctor could easily stay for tea and it would be less than a drop in their lifespan.
Now, as usually is the case when I make these theories, I have a parts 1,2,3,4 and 6. There's allways this 5th piece I miss but I manage to get at the end.
But the 6th piece is the Timeless Child. The Doctor isn't a Time Lord anymore. They're not beholden to those people and ideas anymore. Even moreso, those people basically raped her childhood for their own gain so it's not like you'd really listen to them and their "policy of non-intervention".
I'm sensing a coming Trial of a Time Lord season (even believing these two seasons are the opening statement and preliminary evidence of the trial itself) wherein the Doctor finally gets the turnaround 6 deserved. A Trial of the Time Lords, if you will.
"In all my travels through time and space I have battled against evil, against power-mad conspirators. I should have stayed here! The oldest civilization: decadent, degenerate and rotten to the core! Power mad conspirators? Daleks, Sontarans, Cybermen — they're still in the nursery compared to us! Ten million years of absolute power: that's what it takes to be really corrupt!"
This is what it's all coming down to. Chibnall's takedown of the Time Lords. And The Master is going to play the most crucial role of all.
They're going to be revealed as an Ux alongside the Doctor and show how the only constants they have in this universe are each other and it's about damn time they work together and tell these high collars to eat Schitt while they explore every star and planet they can find.
Come on, the episode is called The Timeless "Children". If it was just the Doctor it'd be called "The Timeless Child". The Master says as much with the misdirect line, "built on the lie of the Timeless Child." since we see two kids playing in that flashback.
"Since always. Since the Cloister Wars, since the night he stole the moon and the president's wife, since he was a little girl. One of those was a lie, can you guess which one?"
Now we know which one was a lie, we know the Master HAS known the Doctor since they were a little girl. THAT little girl...
But this is all just speculation. It's not like Chris Chibnall could have been thinking about this for the past 40 years and was given a blank slate to do whatever he wanted for five years on his favorite TV show. If y'all want to think he took those reigns and is choosing to make things worse...
Well then you don't know much about responsibility.
I'll let the man himself tell you about it.
"Very early in my career,” says Chibnall, “someone told me that you learn more from a failure than you do from a success. And then I lived out that phrase for a year in Los Angeles. I learned that I would not work that way again or be put in that situation again.” The essential lesson was: “You either have to be in total control of a show or working with people who share your vision and will work with you to achieve it. Also, never work with 13 executive producers.
“Camelot was the classic case of too many cooks. It wasn’t a harmonious set-up and I think that does manifest itself on screen.
“I had a fantastic cast but you have to be free to tell the story you want to tell in the way that you want to tell it. What ended up on screen was not what I wanted and so it is a blemish on my CV.”
Credit to @thirteenthdoc
“You immortals - so entitled, so spoiled. You never clear up after yourselves and you always leave stuff lying around.” - Thirteenth Doctor in Can You Hear Me?
#doctor who#bbc#13th doctor#thirteen x yasmin#yasmin khan#ryan sinclair#grace o'brien#graham o'brien#the Doctor#the master#missy#chris chibnall#time lords#gallifrey#tardis#jodie whittaker#mandip gil#tosin cole#bradley walsh#michelle gomez#peter capaldi#sacha dhawan#john simm#david tennant#matt smith#11th doctor#10th doctor#Youtube
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What do we do now!? The knights can’t do anything, Globgor’s bedridden, Eclipsa is to drained out to cast her powerful spell, even “The Greatest Warriors of Mewni” were all hit with the Solarian Blade, who can save us all from the new Solarian army led by psycho b*tch Mina Loveberry!?HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!:
*Here to Help-Plot Twist! That wasn’t Mina Eclipsa, Globgor, Star and The Marcnificent Seven 2.0 we’re battling agsinst! Damn! Mina has her own personal Mecha Knight Suit (pigtailed), but where the Hell did she get that army from!? She can’t do magic! She’s just super empowered!
While the wounded with the Solarian blade cut were being tended, Eclipsa tries to figure out what to do and no people! She can’t use that “Spell with No Name” spell cuz that takes a lot outta her! Hey look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a pla-No wait! It is a bird! But what’s on the bird!? It’s coming down into the window of Monster Temple! Take cover! Oh! Hello Moon! (and River who’s still wearing that bear suit from before). Hey Moon! Are you here to finally tell the gang that you knew the entire time that Mina was coming for Eclipsa!? Cuz you’re too late on that sister! Could you just help! Great! What’s the plan!? Cuz Mina gives Eclipsa until the crow of the rooster to surrender and Moon wants Stars friends to get to the sanctuary ASAP before it’s too late while River tends to Globgor. From one dad to another, he’s there. Even if he can’t understand vegetarianism like Toulas aunt. Hey! He’s on Eclipsas side! That’s cool!
Okay so here’s the plan:Eclipsa will in fact do that spell again, but this time be more focused so as to just hit Mina, Buff Frog will get the wounded to the sanctuary and get the Monster village to safety, Sir Dashing will prepare provisions and uh, uhhhhhhhhh, Star and Marco will put the pig goats to safety! Wait what!? Are they important? Okay, well, go tend to the pig goats I guess (shrugs). Uh, Moon, what are you doing? Why are you opening the enterance for Mina to come in and attack?........Moon?................excuse me!? You want Eclipsa to what now!? Surrender!? 8O.
Marco asks why they’re tending to the pig goats since it sounds inconsequential and Star admits she’s just overwhelmed by everything. All her friends are wounded and she’s just here staying on the sidelines. She thought she was done with all this after the Mewmans finally accepted Eclipsa (“Corononation”), but nooooooooooooo, here she is helping Eclipsa once again! First it was clearing her name (“Butterfly Trap”), then it was getting the Mewmans to like her (“The Ponyhead Show!”/“Surving the Spiderbites”) and now it’s saving her a** from Mina! (“The Right Way”). It’s tiring! 😓 Marco makes her feel better by kicking open a door and pastering the pig goats! Huh. You know what, I realized something. Whatever Star does I consider it stupid (ex.kicking open a door), but when Marco does the same thing, I’m cool with it! I guess it’s because he’s the sane one compared to Star and that people like him can do just about as many crazy things. Which is fine. So the two go in and slap some a**.............On the pig goats people! THE PIG GOATS! Get your minds outta the gutter!
Now comes my final question for the season, the one we’ve been waiting for, the million, no billion! No trillion! No zillion! NO AJVKSTIXKHGIA-ion dollar question of “Star vs. The Forces of Evil”. ⭐️7. IS STARCO GONNA HAPPEN!? Star tells Marco she heard what he said about his “I love you” confession at The Realm of Magic (“Mama Star”) and asks if it was legit him or his drug induced subconscious talking. It was so him! It was 1000% pure unadulterated Marco there! He admits he’s felt this way since day one! Like, all the way to the premiere!? (“Star Comes to Earth”). And that the whole Blood Moon thing (“Blood Moon Ball”) was what I mentioned before in my reviews, BALONEY! His feelings were what he thought was platonic, but overtime, as the journey (the show) went on, it got more intense and so, it had to be love! Is it mutual though!? (Official Starco kiss happens. Screams gleefully)🎶 I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me, I'm beggin' you to beg me, I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me, I'll shine up my old brown shoes, I'll put on a brand new shirt, I'll get home early from work, If you say that you love me, Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I, See you cryin'🎶 Lol! I’m sorry, but when Star said that line, “I want you to love me”, that song was what automatically played in my head! 10 Things I Hate About You was on tv a lot recently too and I love that movie as well. She said it too! It’s happened! YES! Two love confessions! Wa-hoo! I’m just so happy Starco finally became canon! 😂 And it wasn’t a Last-Minute Hook-Up either! But a SECOND TO Last-Minute Hook-Up! I know one svtfoe blog that loves that idea ;).
The happy and Official/Alpha Couple come out and to their shock, see Moon and Eclipsa in a heated magical showdown! What happened there!? Oh! I get it. Moon told Eclipsa that she knew about Mina earlier and Eclipsa got pissed that Moon didn’t tell her sooner huh!? Huh!? Yeah, I’d pissed about that too. Wait, that’s not why their fighting? Then what about!? Don’t tell me Moons on Minas side! No!? Oh Phew! That’d be scary.............huh?.............Moon made all this happen!? WTF!? (rooster crows) OH SH*T!
That “Spell With No Name” spell just might work again since Eclipsa seems perfectly well enough to use it again, so if she’s cool with using it again then great! We can do that! Stars friends need to get to the sanctuary quick before they’re time runs out and they’re all dead! We can’t lose any good minor characters here! What I’m grateful for is that after 4 years, 4 LONG GRUELING YEARS! Starco has been officially made canon! They’re song played! You know that song, right!? The one Brain H. Kim made a few of just for those two! Yeah, it played right when it happened too :’). Some of you might say that Starco was “rushed”, but I’m guessing since this was their last season and that they needed to wrap things up, it was forced to finally make us Starco shippers happy. Even if it was, at least it wasn’t in the series finale that they got together and only just near the end. I’m sure if we had gotten a 5th season, we would’ve had a better build up, but in this case, it was alright. Kinda odd place to hook-up though. In a pig goat shed! Then again, it looked to be an innuendo of teenagers sneaking away to do the “frick frack”! Lol! So yeah. I get it! Let’s talk about Starco for a sec here. Ahem! So Star and Marco got along after kicking Ludos army’s butts (“Star Comes to Earth”) and from then onward, became best friends. Their bond got closer when Marco thought he lost Star forever (“Mewberty”) and then there was that whole Blood Moon thing (“Blood Moon Ball”). However, that was all bullsh*t cuz there’s no magic on this Earth that could force these to love each other! XD. Their bond is strong! To the point where Star would give up her own wand, the most important in the universe! To save Marco! (“Storm the Castle”) Even if they didn’t know about their feelings (“Sleepover”), the longer they stayed together, the more their feelings grew. They were willing to die together (“Gift of the Card”) and it even came to a point where other people can see their love! (“Face the Music”). They couldn’t stop talking about each other (“Sophmore Slump”/“Lake House Fever”), They need to be together (“Lint Catcher”), They’ve fought together to save Mewni, twice! (“Battle for Mewni”/“Divide”/“Conquer”) and even though it was too late for them to be together (“Just Friends”/“Lava Lake Beach”), it didn’t stop them from getting closer (“Booth Buddies”). No amount of magic can erase what these two have built up over time (“Curse of the Blood Moon”). Together they can be happy no matter what obstacles they’ve been through (“Beach Day”) and that if anything were to happen to them, they’d still be aware of their love for each other! (“Mama Star”). 🎶THAT’S THE POWER OF LOVE!🎶. 🎉CONGRATULATIONS! STARCO!🎉👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Okay, now comes the hard part. Moon. YOU CALL THIS HELPING!? You mean tell me that ever since “The Ghost of Butterfly Castle” you’ve been plotting WITH MINA!? I thought you were gonna back out cuz you’re not the queen anymore!? Whatever happen to “letting Eclipsa take care of this”!? Huh!? Huh!? HUH!? WHAT MADE YOU THINK THIS WAS THE BEST APPROACH!? You better explain yourself! (rooster crows) SHUT UP! ROOSTER!
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