#ggggggggggfffffffhhHHHHGh.

[crimson-rots]

ggHH i can't stop thinking about marlton johnson. god. fuck

can you imagine. going from being alone, constantly begging the universe for some friends, to finally having people who needed him, and despite how poorly he gets along with them he has to grapple with the fact that the apocolypse, the damn end of the world, has brought him people. he has to grapple with the fact that this, the end of the world, this was the only thing the universe could think of to answer his prayers.

that for once in the life that he'd spent entirely alone, there are people who are counting on him. who have no choice but to listen to him, to stick with him. to be with him.

and he has a girlfriend! he has misty! and she might not like him all the time, might barely like him half the time, but she likes him! and maybe-- maybe, in situations like this, maybe in worlds like this he doesn't have to be some unlikeable freak who was predestined to be alone, maybe--

.

--maybe he's all that's left, but god damn it, for once in his stupid fucking life, marlton was wanted by someone.

misty wants him. not only that -- the universe needs him. he dies MEANINGFULLY. he does something right, something he can be proud of, something he can look back on and say, i did it. i did it right. we fucked up and we died but we died standing and we did something. no one will remember me but i'll remember. i'll know. i'll know that.

(he swears to himself he won't forget it. he won't forget. he refuses to. 115 be damned, he's done something right for a change and he won't forget it! he can't! he's spent his whole life trying and look, he did something! he's not useless! he saved everything--)

(the dark aether swallows them whole, and for a moment there's a song of righteous pride in his chest before that is swallowed up, too.)

just. god, fuck. marlton johnson, guys. gh. fuck.