#gg rb season 1

[fandomcentral101]

Max Wolfe, Aki Mensies, and Audrey Hope

Gossip Girl 2021 2x01

[dirtyfantasyleague]

Tony’s Power Rankings!

GOOD EVENING!  

I am in Chicago at the Elysian,

With girls claim they models….. but mmmhmmm I don’t believe em

I want to first congratulate all the participants in this years fantasy football league.

This year was a year many had the choice to “Opt Out” and no one would mock / bully you.  No this is what many have referred to as “Just like the flu…. It will just disappear”.  And the only thing that disappeared this year [insert hairline joke].

Second to all the playoff tributes, that in a way, were randomly selected out of a hat.  Unfortunately us loser virgins suck at this and do not deserve our team to be featured in this article.  

Third to God and my Family… Love y’all

So without further Erykah Badu the playoff Power Rankings.  

Coming in 6th from Laredo, Tx standing at 5’ 6” tippie toeing…… Osc…. Kelvin…

6. Kelvin

Fortunately our man gets the bye week however, this is a week I believe he needed his team to play this is a hungry week 14.  Playoff seeding, contracts are coming up, which players have heart.  Yet, in week 15 I don’t see the likes of Landry, Tonyan, Tom Brady, or R. Jones going off.  On his bench are a bunch of handcuff players with no expectation of getting the ball.  Im sorry man I know you have a lot on this from the fans back home, but you’re not good kid

GG

5. Oscar

It’s easy he has scored no more than 89 points in the last 3 of 4 games.  I am not going to re-type this you can re-read it.  

Yes that stat in a leagure were points and highlighst are cool for the kids Ooo brother this team.  First off the Chargers gave up last week you know that right? I think they can come back and put a W together but they are not going to shine on your scoreboard homie.

I like the Cam pick up that is cool but I guarantee you don’t even know if he when the coach lets him get the rock.  Chase Travis FBTeam, and my homie from the hood out in Oak Cliff Jamal Adams.  

But they ain’t like they wasn’t around the last 3 of 4 games fool so don’t hype your team up.  You may win this round and if you play kelvin after…. But your team ain’t getting that parade

4. the hippie with the man bun TITO or Heck-Ter

Yeah Russell.. AND MCCAFFREY (as I can hear him raising his voice lol)

And then what? Nah like for real?

Bears quit on the team and Robinson will get his but not a 2 tD masterpiece

Godwin is sharing the receptions with too many people.

Waller cool

Montgommery tf???

And brother your bench is wack you have some players that you are not even giving a chance out there. There is a reason you were a leader in bench points.  You should be 5th but I gave you 4th because I expect you to go out there and Let it FLY, Trust the Gut ;) I do

3. All Rise for Judge Vigil

Yeah Vigil being a crooked lawyer and sliding past the whole league.  He retired to pursue his passion in the law however came back.to try and reclaim what is “his right”.  

I like his team, don’t love it… I can keep typing and tell you why but I paused my movie because I did promise you this by tonight.  

Anyways I like them because most players have big play potential,  I am saying each RB can get you 2 TDs or total of 125 yards.  The WRS are similar.  QB who is out to prove something?? Why isn’t he married or have a girl. I honestly think he may be a bit of a weirdo when drunk

Either way hats off to Vigil for putting together some Falcons players and some nobodies to create a decent team

2.  El Bombero (the one you close your eyes and imagine)

Desean… *that whistle your tio does when the carne looks good*.. I like Desean. The man cried on the sidelines and proclaimed I am tired of losing… That’s a QB (my QB I actually statistically a WINNER). The WRs.  AJ Brown (whom I knew was better than DK coming out of the same college).  And Julio mutha funkin Jones.  That homie is due for a 236 yard game (no TD) but still

Gronk may actually have an advantage from the bye week and you know him and Tom are going to get that redzone offense right.  And the sly fox took Deebo in Waivers.  I don’t know the status on Clyde but the Chiefs have been stalling out in the second half of games and not finishing (i.e. bucs game). I think Edwards Elcair (the pastry) will help the chains churning in the back half of the season.

By the way Benji’s team

1.     El Bombero (the dancer one)

Hola (speaking his native toungue)

I love it just do… all of it… I have been looking at it since September… I took November off for the cause… but wooooo This past weekend she was back…. Miguel’s high flying team..

Chubbb… Stole Gibson Guitar

Hopkins and Kyler combo WHOM ARE ALL COMPETTING FOR PLAYOFFS AND NEED THERE STARS TO SHOW UP

DK which I know I like AJ more, Russell one hell of a deep ball thrower….. MR UNLIMMMMITED

Taylor out of Wisconsin,  I know it’s like hit or miss with those backs but this one with dump it down Phil looks good.  

Colts defense is alive and well… oh yeah Deforrest didn’t play in the Titans game so chill

The decision between Hockenson and Andrews may make or break you that is the toughest decision you may meed to make.  I like Higgins but back up QB and I like Hines but tht’s if Taylro goes down…. Oye Wei tu equipo esta con madre.

From Tone with Love

XOXO

[racingtoaredlight]

WAY TOO SOON!™ post all-star games, pre-combine 2019 NFL 1st round mock draft

You can see the existential disappointment on Nick Bosa’s face and he’s not wrong.

Mock drafts are the worst. The earlier they are, the dumber they are.

The way things currently stack up all of the online pundits and such are posting mock drafts featuring a bunch of players they don’t even like and working with the worthless rule that they can’t propose trades. Why bother with that? It’s all such a flight of fancy, anyway. Just go all in.

From where we are right now, Nick Bosa is the obvious #1 pick and nobody really loves any of the QBs. I’d still put money on a QB going #1 overall after somebody makes a terrible seeming trade with Arizona.

1. OAKLAND RAIDERS - Drew Lock, QB, Missouri

My going theory here is that the Raiders are insanely stupid. Drew Lock is not the top QB on a lot of draft boards right now and he’s definitely not the top player. Also the Raiders have the third highest paid QB in the league on their current roster. Might as well swing for the fences on a zero-win season heading into Las Vegas. The presumption here is that Derek Carr gets jettisoned and they trade all three of their first-round picks for Lock.

2. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS - Nick Bosa, EDGE, Ohio State

If Bosa is there at #2 the 49ers have to pull the trigger. I think he’s a little over-valued, especially given the depth at the position but I also thought his brother was going to suck so don’t get the idea I know what I’m talking about.

3. NEW YORK JETS - Jawaan Taylor, OT, Florida

This is counting on Taylor doing extremely well at the Combine. And the Jets continuing a long and storied history of making weird draft picks.

4. NEW YORK GIANTS - Dwayne Haskins, QB, Ohio State

No clue what to expect from Haskins after he gets drafted. His arm is OK, his athleticism is OK, his decision-making is pretty good, his accuracy/placement is good. There just isn’t enough body of work to really project anything for him but I want the Cardinals to keep moving down and the mock drafts with like 8 defensive line/edge guys going in the top 10 look insane to me.

5. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS - Josh Allen, EDGE, Kentucky

IDEAL FIT! Really, this would be pretty great for the Bucs but who knows with Bruce Arians in place.

6. ARIZONA CARDINALS - DK Metcalf, WR, Mississippi

Metcalf’s athletic comps are gonna be ridiculous. Get ready for a bunch of people to compare him to Calvin Johnson. Maybe he’s really that good but the odds aren’t in favor of producing at that level for anybody.

7. DENVER BRONCOS - Daniel Jones, QB, Duke

This makes sense because the Jaguars are incapable of actually moving on from Blake Bortles no matter how obvious it is that they need to and the Broncos love having bad quarterbacks.

8. DETROIT LIONS - Quinnen Williams, DT, Alabama

The RTARLsman finally comes off the board! I don’t know what the Lions need or want. I know Matt Patricia sucks as a person and as a coach.

9. BUFFALO BILLS - Ed Oliver, DT, Houston

Don’t let Ian Zeirlein gaslight you, he absolutely said there are teams that would move Oliver to linebacker. That’s idiotic. Oliver is going to be undersized for an interior DL but he’s got enough strength and quickness to make up for the 15 or so lbs he would need to be optimal. Interior rush is going to win the Rams a Super Bowl tomorrow and Oliver is a killer in the passing game. The Bills roster kind of sucks so they can go a million directions sensibly but in my heart I still think Oliver is the best player in this draft.

10. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS - Greedy Williams, CB, LSU

A really dumb thing that’s almost sure to happen this offseason is the Jags trading away Jalen Ramsey. Williams reminds me more of fellow LSU alum Marcus Peters as a player but that’s not necessarily terrible.

11. CINCINNATI BENGALS - Jonah Williams, OT, Alabama

The Bengals really sucked on the interior of the line in 2018 but it’s pretty early to cut bait on Billy Price and #11. They also suck out loud at QB and LB but need/supply make a tackle seem like a better pick.

12. GREEN BAY PACKERS - Jachai Polite, EDGE, Florida

Clelin Ferrell and Brian Burns are rated higher by most draft media right now but Polite is going to test out of this world and Brian Burns is going to weigh like 208 lbs. Ferrell is probably going to make a more immediate impact than Polite but tremendous upside is always an enticement.

13. MIAMI DOLPHINS - Clelin Ferrell, EDGE, Clemson

Last year at this time the Dolphins pass rush group looked pretty good and now they’re talking about cutting all of those guys. Ferrell isn’t insanely athletic but he’s not a stiff, either. He got better every year at Clemson and getting him at #13 seems like a pretty good deal.

14. ATLANTA FALCONS - Christian Wilkins, DL, Clemson

The dream for the Falcons is to have Ed Oliver fall this far but Christian Wilkins might actually fit their team better, anyway.

15. WASHINGTON - Jeffrey Simmons, DL, Mississippi State

Not the biggest area of need for Washington but a perfect culture fit.

16. CAROLINA PANTHERS - Mack Wilson, LB, Alabama

On the one hand this seems like a good trade target for a team that wants to move up but on the other hand there are only 4 good players in this draft and once the QBs are gone, who’s trading up?

17. CLEVELAND BROWNS - Byron Murphy, CB, Washington

The Browns are shockingly low on glaring needs. Another CB opposite Denzel Ward makes sense to me but Murphy might actually be too similar to last year’s #4 overall pick. I love DeAndre Baker but the buzz is that he’s a lot smaller than listed and also going to run somewhere close to a 4.6. Bryce Hall really fucked up returning to school.

18. MINNESOTA VIKINGS - Cody Ford, OT, Oklahoma

Ford may very well fall victim to poor testing like his former teammate Orlando Brown, Jr., but Brown looked pretty good as a NFL rookie and Ford won’t be that bad at the Combine. There are probably 15 good players in this draft but most of them are boring. Ford is in that camp.

19. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS - Chris Lindstrom, OL, Boston College

The Seahawks are dutybound to make things weird at the draft. Lindstrom seems like the kind of bad OL that the Seahawks love and nobody else is going to take him in the first round so I’m projecting them to move up to take him.

20. PITTSBURGH STEELERS - Brian Burns, EDGE, Florida State

Also deadset on fucking things up for no reason in the draft, this would actually count as a safe pick for the Steelers. It doesn’t address an area of need and Burns is a really weird player because of his weight but he’s athletic and tall and nobody else will have him rated higher than the second round.

21. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES - Dalton Risner, OT, Kansas State

Other players I considered: Montez Sweat, Nasir Adderley, Rashan Gary. Risner is possibly the best OL in the draft and might be long gone by #21 but if he’s there he’s the best player at a position of relative need.

22. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS - Joshua Jacobs, RB, Alabama

This is not at all a need pick and it’s probably not at all realistic but I think Jacobs gives the offense so much more dimension than anybody else available can give them. He’s like Marlon Mack but actually good (sorry, GG) and he honestly can add as much to the passing game as any of the WRs. At least for the Colts.

23. TENNESSEE TITANS - Montez Sweat, EDGE, Mississippi State

Sweat is going to be a really boring NFL player. That’s perfect for the league’s most forgettable franchise.

24. BALTIMORE RAVENS - Nasir Adderley, S, Delaware

The Ravens need some youth in the defensive backfield and Adderley could be an off-brand version of Derwin James. Admittedly, at this time last year I thought James was going to suck but in my defense I’d watched how FSU used him and figured that was related to his abilities.

25. ARIZONA CARDINALS - Yodney Cajuste, OT, West Virginia

There is no shortage of needs on the Cardinals roster but they need to have at least a few offensive linemen that could start for a really good high school team.

26. HOUSTON TEXANS - David Edwards, OT, Wisconsin

A lot of NFL teams have bad offensive line situations and there are a bunch of decent OL prospects this year. But not so many that you can wait on them. WR is absolutely loaded this year but there are so many of them that teams can wait for them. The Texans don’t particularly need WRs. I’m not sure why this is where I chose to write about this.

27. ARIZONA CARDINALS - Dexter Lawrence, DL, Clemson

Again, the Cardinals need everything. Lawrence has his detractors and he kind of needs a great Combine but the potential is sky high.

28. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS - Kyler Murray, QB, Oklahoma

The odds of making a bunch of money is better for Murray in the NFL than in MLB but the odds that he’s about as good in the NFL as Johnny Manziel are still pretty high. The only reason to risk a first round pick on him rather than a second or third is that you’ll need at least 5 seasons before you stop worrying that he’ll actually die from being hit. Murray is tiny. He would be the smallest QB in the league in about 50 years. For all his arm talent and poise he was getting about 9 seconds per play at Oklahoma before he faced pressure. He won’t get 3 seconds on an average NFL play. But the Chargers need to start planning for a post-Rivers world and their head coach’s natural proclivities are more towards a run-based scheme. Worth a shot, maybe?

29. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS - Darrell Henderson, RB, Memphis

This is a dream pick for me more than an honest guess. To be honest, they could probably get Henderson towards the end of the second round. I just love the fit of Henderson in Andy Reid’s offense too much to not mention it.

30. GREEN BAY PACKERS - Kelvin Harmon, WR, North Carolina State

I thought of going ahead with a second EDGE defender and giving them Zach Allen and the Packers have shown a willingness to double up on positions in the draft but then I thought about how good this group of WRs is and how weird it would be to go through the whole first round with only one going off the board.

31. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS - Zach Allen, EDGE, Boston College

I don’t know if this makes sense for the Pats or not but Allen is built like Chris Jones and could be a fun weapon for Belichick.

32. LOS ANGELES RAMS - Sheldrick Redwine, S, Miami

Redwine mostly played safety at The U but his athletic profile might have him playing more CB at the next level. The Rams high priced defensive backfield mostly sucks and they could use help all over back there so I’m making the home pick to end the first round and giving them one of the more versatile backs in the draft.

[racingtoaredlight]

Closing Bell Gabbin’ About Gambling Season 3: Week 8

Week 1 gambling account balance: $44.52 Week 2 gambling account balance: $48.87 Week 3 gambling account balance: $58.18 Week 4 gambling account balance: $62.70 Week 5 gambling account balance: $57.25 Week 6 gambling account balance: $51.80 Week 7 gambling account balance: $16.80 Week 8 gambling account balance: $19.31

I won $2.51 cents. GUESS WHO’S BACK. 

Disclaimer: I have no fucking idea what I am doing, do not do anything that I tell you to do. This should be extremely obvious. This song doesn’t even really fit. 

Disclaimer disclaimer: Unless it is about shorting Canadian banks. Short those cunts. 

Week 7 Results

I bet my last $1.80 in my account money line on Clemson. I got so drunk I forgot they lost. Friday morning was rough I tell you. Don’t gamble just for the sake of gambling. That outcome was my bad which is poor form because I had a blast when I visited Clemson. Been a guilt ridden season thus far. 

Fuck man, should have taken that $1.80 and put it on TCU +3300. I had Tulane -14 and they lost to FIU by 13 points. I’ve fucked myself with Tulane two weeks in a row. Cumulatively I have been off on Tulane by a total of 51 points in two fucking games. There were several Katrina jokes here I walked back. 

South Florida -24.5 took care of Cincinnati, they have to blow out teams for style points due to their cupcake schedule. The Bulls have been good to me. /buys GG a pint of Guinness Toledo -7 beat directional Michigan 30-10.  Don’t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the cover and Toledo that you're used to. Toledo is the person you are supposed to be with. Toledo is your soulmate, you ignore them because they dress frumpy and hang out in the loser Mac but by Bacchus, Toledo will treat you right on the road. I was wrong to bet on those SEC teams, they don’t care about me. It was you Toledo, it was always you. I love you Toledo, you are my always.

Week 8 Gambles

Everybody and their mom is on Memphis, normally it is better to fade the crowd but this is too tasty. Unless Ed Oliver plays RB I don’t see how Houston wins. I went money line because the fuck is the point of 3 points? Tulsa beat Houston and Tulsa was murdered by those waterlogged nerds of Tulane. 

Both teams only had 5 days rest, Houston lost and Memphis beat Navy. I assume stopping Navy is exhausting. Hmm, maybe should have kept the points. Ahh fuck it, Memphis beat Navy and UCLA. 

I bet on Toledo because we are soul bonded even though the Rockets are 0-3 against the spread at home this year. Surely that streak has to end right? 

Texas only recruits QB’s to play in the secondary and tackling is against the rules in the Big 12. 

Other Bets I am Bet Curious About

Bama -35.5 is intriguing. USC +3.5 over Cunts of The Cunt Lake will probably happen so I can drunkenly abuse the pope on Twitter Saturday evening. Immoral scum.  LSU vs Ole Miss is exactly like betting on duelling dumpster fires, that holds a certain appeal. Almost sexual. Certainly it provides a tingle. 

Yahoo Spread For The Stein Competition (h/t Cabbage who is the man)

And this special award goes to the two people who obviously had no help from their parents

If we did the exact opposite of Capitalism here we’d all be rich. 

Best of luck punters. 

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