#gfd is not an inclusive space

[softberrybi]

A quick note...

Hello from your local AuDHD switch verse bisexual. I'm on this corner of the internet to have fun and spiral into whatever current hyperfixation has me by the throat.

Minors, please don't interact. My blog is for people 18+. I'm a big advocate for sex education and curiosity, and my particular Tumblr page just isn't the space for that. If you're looking for an age appropriate resource, I highly recommend checking out Scarleteen. It's a wonderful site dedicated to providing medically accurate and queer inclusive information about relationships, sex, identity, and so on.

My asks and messages are open. Wanna be friends??? Feel free to message me any timmmmme. If you’re looking to be flirty, please be respectful. Opening with nudes or demanding nudes or sexting is just not the move, okay? I've been involved in the kink community for many years and have met so many wonderful people, so my tolerance is very low for people who hide behind kink as an excuse to be shitty. Also, I have a queue going, so posts appearing doesn’t mean I’m actually online.

Please note I’m wary of porn blogs with no other content, and I hear the Jaws theme song in my head whenever I get one word messages in my inbox because those “hey” or “hi” openers tends to escalate quickly without my consent. Again, be chill. If I get a weird vibe at all, the block button and I are besties.

Be a kind person, okay? Transphobes, terfs, swerfs, antifeminists, racists, ableists, fatphobes, bigoted jerks DNI. Honestly, get well soon and cut that shit out.

If I ever accidentally interact with something I shouldn’t or tag something in a way that doesn’t feel good, please let me know so I can edit or delete immediately. I respect you.

🌶️ spicy info under the cut 🌶️

Being a verse switch is so fun, okay? I'm attracted to people regardless of gender, and it's just so fun to make people feel good.

I use the traffic light system (💚💛🛑) for consent check-ins. Here is my Yes/No list for both giving and receiving unless otherwise specified:

Yes - praise/worship, puppy play, edging/denial, overstimulation, biting/marking, puppy play, teratophilia rp, impact play (just not face slapping/hitting), gfd, daddy/mommy kink (just no age play or incest rp), strap play / pegging, breeding kink

I think it’s also worth mentioning that there are types of play that I’m happy to engage in even if I’m not personally turned on by them. Examples include foot fetish / nylon fetish play and tickling (as long as I’m not the one getting tickled; that’s a hard no for me)

Sometimes - I don’t really post about any of these on this blog, and if I do, I will be sure to tag those posts. I sometimes enjoy objectification, degradation, humiliation, light CNC, helping a partner enjoy some light CBT, e-stim, watersports (especially during primal/possessive play)

No thanks - Heavy CNC that involves genuine fear play, scat, age play, race play, pro-ED anything, misgendering/detrans, vore, gore (some blood is okay, but gore makes me feel faint), intox/chem, permanent harm/scarring, incest rp

Obvious no (and instant report and block) to actual assault or endangering anyone who can’t consent (e.g. anything to do with minors, bestiality, and so on)

This should go without saying, but if you have a partner / partners who will be hurt by you playing with someone else, please don’t flirt or try to play with me. I’m only down to play with folks engaging in ENM or single folks, okay? Be nice to your partner(s).

Also, since this has been coming up in my asks and dms quite a bit, I’m not looking for a sugar situation. I will just delete the ask/message 🤷‍♀️ Thanks!

[sweetbunnykook]

I'm a GFD and I've been around your blog for quite some time! You're the sweetest most precious bean and I really love your personality. I try to keep my gcs and spaces as inclusive as possible. I'm South Asian. If you want, you can talk to me, I'd like to be friends with you, could give you my snap as well, if your dms are open. Love 💜.

My DMs are always open but my snap is private so unfortunately that is unavailable. So happy to meet a fellow GFD, thank you for all these compliments!! :D  

- 🐰 

[domreaderrecs]

damn, i kind of agree with most of your takes. especially 8!💕💕not sure about 10, i wouldn’t mind. could you give some nuance on 6? (🍓-anon)

6. gfd is not inclusive

i am glad you asked for nuance for this lmao i could write a whole ass essay. this is a bit long so bear with me.

you’ve hopefully seen the post i make every month about the lack of poc (specifically black men) in gentle femdom and honestly kink spaces in general

for all the inclusivity and body positivity and breaking gender norms gfd talks about, there’s no representation of brown ppl in gfd. in all the gfd content i’ve seen, including videos, nsfw art, erotica and fanfics, I can count one one hand the number of times i’ve seen black men portrayed as submissive. I think in a lot of people’s minds there’s this stereotype of black men as ultra masculine and dominant and hyper sexual beings and it’s wack af imo.

I mean as a black woman i feel more represented than them, i actually know quite a few black female dommes/gfd content creators who write the dommes/main characters in their stories as black women, but out of all of them not a single one has ever drawn or written something where the submissive boy is black.

I can see why though. When I first realized I was into gfd my preferences started changing. Suddenly I was consuming all this gfd content that always depicted white boys or asian boys, never brown boys. I started to not be attracted to black men bc I just assumed they’d never fit in the context of my sexuality or kinks because I had never seen any content that depicted them in that way. This is something I still struggle with to this day.

And even then, in terms of nsfw art or comics or whatever there’s almost no depiction of black women. So I can’t even imagine how alienated or weird black and brown male subs must feel. They’ve got society telling them they’re these dominant hyper sexual ultra masculine creatures while the community that’s supposed to be for them and claims to be so inclusive never actually includes them in their media.

and it’s definitely a wider societal problem even outside of a kink or sexual context. The stereotypes and harsh generalizations and toxic masculinity they have to deal with even from a young age is connected to the fetishization of their bodies and ethnicities and how they aren’t allowed to exist in kink spaces. that’s part of the reason why it’s so hard to find representation of them in nsfw media bc you can’t find it unless you explicitly search for it but if you search for it, all that will come up is shit like BLACK SLAVE GETS DOMINATED BY WHITE MISTRESS or even worse, BLACK BULL BBC GETS USED BY WHITE SLUT or some stupid shit like that. the thing is, most gfd content doesn’t contain black ppl/black men, but any material that does is specifically focused around their blackness and fetishizing hit. it’s so stupid that i have to search black gfd to get any results (which usually aren’t gentle anyway) but i’ve never in my life had to search "white gfd".

and the craziest part about all of this is no one talks about it (at least not that i’ve seen).