#getting help or even recognition for endo being disabling is Fuck

[endo-meme-triosis]

This is a personal gripe but related to the previous post, it feels like with endometriosis, if people are aware of it, they still only really talk about things like heavy, painful periods, and maybe infertility. And don’t get me wrong, those definitely suck (even if the latter doesn’t really mean anything to me personally), but even within endo communities it feels like there’s not a lot of talk about how it can fuck with you outside of menstrual and reproductive stuff.

Like, I don’t really get periods much any more because of the depo-provera I get (though that Has been getting more hit or miss lately - In February I managed to have a period that lasted two weeks, which was Super Cool), but my symptoms haven’t all just gone away because of that. Last week I had pelvic pain so severe on a couple of day that it hurt to walk even from my bedroom to the kitchen - It felt like I was being punched in the gut with every step, to the point that I was unironically looking for lightweight self-propelled folding wheelchairs that I would be able to take with me in case it started happening while I was out and about (lowkey eyeing up the featheweight if it keeps up, for the record. Not excessively expensive, portable, and it seems to have good reviews, though I’ll have to do more research). And I’m consistently experiencing lower back pain, I have gut fuckery that causes everything from nausea to rapidly flipping between no appetite to ‘eat ALL the food right now’ to soy intolerance to symptoms mimicking ibs-m, I have the fun combination of ADHD fatigue and endometriosis fatigue, even when it’s not outright pain I’ve had instance where I could Feel the pressure in my pelvis from what I can only assume based on the locations are cysts... and of course that all feeds into this fun loop of

[Image ID: An edit of the Lie Down, Try Not To Cry, Cry A Lot meme, reading “Lie down, Try not to think about it, Think about it a lot.” The tears have been edited out, and on the final panel, instead of being closed and weeping, the person’s eyes are now open and full of stress. End ID.]

The thing is, since endometriosis is mostly associated with that intermittent pain of dysmenorrhea and infertility, people as a whole don’t really consider endometriosis disabling? When the reality is that for me and people like me, the symptoms don’t Stop. They might let up for a little bit, and we might be able to manage the worst of it with medications and stuff, but it just Keeps Happening, and it affects our lives beyond struggling with getting pregnant and a week or so where we’re in pain. And this isn’t even getting into the fact that so much as an official diagnosis is often inaccessible - My insurance doesn’t cover ANY of the methods used to diagnose endometriosis or even just rule out other causes, let alone laparoscopic excision or ablation to try and get rid of it. Good luck having the disabling nature of your condition recognized when you can’t even get it on record “this is real and this is what it is.”

And, like. It’s already not taken seriously by people as a whole, and between being a trans guy with a condition often labeled as a “woman’s disease” (which I’ve admittedly more or less gotten used to despite my issues with it. I really wish people with and without endo would use more inclusive language when discussing it but I’ll live) and the fact that even within endo communities there’s often not much focus on the pain and digestive bullshittery and other non-fertility-related stuff that can go on outside of menstruation... Like, the general population doesn’t take endometriosis seriously enough to support me, and even people with endometriosis sometimes make me feel like I’m an outsider, too.

That’s not to say people shouldn’t discuss those things that endo is primarily known for, and I really want to make that clear - Hell, I started this blog with a meme about dysmenorrhea, because I’ve experienced it for years myself! People who are going through a lot of pain during menstruation and people who want to have kids biologically but are struggling to conceive absolutely deserve support and deserve to be able to discuss their experiences. But... even though I know they aren’t doing any of the stuff I complained about in that last paragraph intentionally or maliciously*, I wish I didn’t feel so much like I don’t belong when my issues fall outside of that range.

*Transphobes calling endo a “women’s disease” with the intent of devaluing trans and nb endo folks’ experiences and existence notwithstanding. Those people can bite my ass. Get off my blog, you’re not welcome here.

[systematic-advice]

Wait wait wait smalls here w a hot take:

what I don't think endos realize is by roleplaying a fucking system and claiming demedicalizing osddid is that they are going to end up taking away our therapy and our medical recognition if they truly demedicalize this disorder

and I hate being the one to say it because it feels like fear mongering but it's true. People acting like osddid and shit is just a life style choice will end up very bad for childhood abuse survivors that are just trying to get help

This. All of this.

This is why the idea that anyone can be a System is dangerous. It puts real Systems at risk of losing access to medical help. We are traumatized. That means we are injured. It's EXACTLY like faking a loss of limb or another physical disability. It's NOT DIFFERENT. If everyone has something then it's not a disability and we don't need care for it. If you can just will Alters into existence, why can't you just will them out? What would the need to therapy even be?

Supporting Endos is diminishing the needs of Systems. there is no other take.