#getting attention scares aster so i am here to make sure everyone is on our blog for the rite reasons :3

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

hiiii everyone would you like to meet my neopets

[sceptilemasterr]

Defenders of the Flame (TE Rewrite) Act 1, Scene 11 - The Girl in the Mirror

Title: Defenders of the Flame (A CIU Screenplay)

Main Pairings: Shreya x F!MC, Beckett x F!Atlas

Other Pairings: N/A

Genre: Full Rewrite (The Elementalists, Book 1)

Rating: PG-13 for violence, blood, swearing, alcohol, and sexuality

Summary: After a dark conversation, Fiora finally opens up to the others about the mysterious reflection she has been seeing.

Previous Scene: New Routine

Masterlist: Link

INT. FLETCHLY HALL - LOUNGE - NIGHT

The Pend Pals, now including Beckett, are gathered in the Fletchly Hall lounge for a study session. Beckett is sitting near a podium similar to the one Dr. Religast uses in her Stoicheal Theory class. A diagram of various stoicheal techniques and theories is displayed above it, which only Beckett himself seems to be paying attention to; his Grogue sits on the podium, trying to shoot down the display with his metal pebbles. Fiora and Shreya’s Lumians sit perched atop the ceiling light, sleeping contentedly, while their owners sit side-by-side on a couch, engaged in rapt conversation. Zeph lays on his back on the floor, playing one-handed catch with a sphere of water he had conjured as Ishi tries in vain to flash-freeze it with his breath. Griffin pages through a textbook on his lap, frowning at one particular page. His own companion, a Talpea (a cross between a mole and a rabbit) named MUGU, is trying and failing to dig through the carpet.  Suddenly, one of Ishi’s ice blasts misses Zeph’s water sphere and hits Griffin’s leg.

GRIFFIN: Ow! Hey, what was that?

ZEPH: Sorry! That was Ishi. Ishi, no!

Ishi whines and walks away from Griffin. Shreya looks over at Griffin and Zeph.

SHREYA: Hey, be glad it was just ice and not fire. Our element is much stronger, I must say.

ZEPH: What, still sore about losing to me ten duels in a row this week?

SHREYA: Okay, that isn’t fair. Everyone knows water overpowers fire. You had the advantage!

ZEPH: Then why did you keep challenging me?

SHREYA: Because I wanted to win!

GRIFFIN: C’mon. All Attunements have their pros and cons. Don’t think there’s one that’s necessarily better than the others.

ZEPH: I dunno, maybe not in terms of power, but personality? Metal-Atts leave a lot to be desired.

BECKETT: I heard that, you know. Besides, I’m the only one here who has already thoroughly studied everything. Is anyone else going to use this study session to actually, well, study?

The others exchange glances.

SHREYA: Apparently not. Come on, Beckett, join us! That display isn’t going anywhere, after all.

BECKETT’S GROGUE: Croak!

FIORA: See? Even he agrees!

BECKETT: Hmm, very well. But only if you all promise to get through at least another two lectures’ worth of concepts by the end of the night.

ZEPH: It’s a deal.

Beckett takes a seat in an armchair near the others.

BECKETT: If we’re speaking of Attunements and personalities, such things have only minor effects on one another at best. True, certain personality types are more or less common among certain Attunements, but nothing is absolute.

ZEPH: I dunno, you and Dr. Rallah sure both seem to have the stiff, uptight, boring routine down pretty well--

Beckett’s Grogue lets out a loud croak and launches a stream of pellets right at Zeph’s forehead.

ZEPH: Ow! Hey!

The rest of the group dissolves into laughter. After a moment, Zeph joins in as well.

BECKETT: Frankly, even I will admit that her lecturing style leaves much to be desired.

SHREYA: Wow, this from you, of all people? I am shocked!

GRIFFIN: I mean, all the Earth-Atts I’ve ever met have been pretty friendly and outgoing, but that might just be because I only hang out with friendly people to begin with.

SHREYA (shrugs): Seems sensible enough to me.

FIORA: Okay, hang on... but what about the Wood-Atts? They don’t have a mean bone in their body. Every single one of them is a nature-loving, friendly, peaceful, hippie-type! Even Dr. Kontos!

The room suddenly goes quiet. Everyone except Fiora exchange uncomfortable glances with one another.

FIORA: ...What? It’s the truth! I mean, Shreya, you’ve met Aster, she’s so--

SHREYA (uncharacteristically serious): Not Aster. Someone... else.

Fiora scans the room. Everyone has serious, downcast expressions on their faces as they stare at her.

GRIFFIN (gently): Fiora... surely you’ve heard of... the Dread, right?

Fiora looks over at Shreya, realizing that this is something she should know, but doesn’t. Shreya gives her a subtle nod.

FIORA: I... uh, yes? But I don’t know much--

GRIFFIN: He was a Wood-Att.

Fiora continues to stare, puzzled, at Griffin. Zeph picks up the slack:

ZEPH: Fiora... the Dread was the worst mass-murdering criminal of the last century. He killed hundreds. Some even say thousands.

Fiora shudders.

FIORA: And... he was…

GRIFFIN: A Wood-Attuned. That’s right. Listen, Fiora... do you remember the Primal Force for Wood?

Fiora thinks for a moment.

FIORA (muttering): Light... Gravity... Motion… (louder) Oh! Life, isn’t it?

Beckett nods.

BECKETT: That’s right. And you can imagine why that particular Attunement would be so dangerous in the hands of someone such as the Dread.

GRIFFIN: You’ve noticed with your own fire, right? Attuneds can’t just create their element, but erase it as well. Now, imagine a murdering psychopath with that kind of power over life itself.

FIORA (uneasily): I can imagine. But how could a Wood-Att become that... that... horrible?

ZEPH: Exactly. Our Attunements don’t make us who we are. It’s our choices. And some people... well... choose awful things.

FIORA: I guess. But, I mean, he’s gone now, right? What happened to him?

The others all exchange another glance.

SHREYA: Honestly? No one really knows. I mean, he was obviously stopped, but as for how? No idea.

GRIFFIN: That’s right. Growing up, he was just a story our parents told us to scare us into doing what we were told. Y’know, “If you don’t eat your peas, the Dread will get you!” That kind of thing.

BECKETT: Ugh, please don’t remind me of that. It was my parents’ excuse for essentially everything.

FIORA (sarcastically): Sounds like amazing parenting right there.

BECKETT: Unfortunately, it was a very real possibility. The Dread--or, to use his real name, Raife Highmore--had a horrifying tendency to target children. No one knows why.

FIORA (terrified): O-kay, enough creepy murderer stories for me, thank you. This guy’s from forever ago, right? He’s gone now?

Zeph creeps closer to Fiora, and says in a mock-spooky voice:

ZEPH: Ah, Fiora, he’s gone for now. But one day, he shall return... and then, he will be out for BLOOD!

Zeph claps his hands in front of Fiora’s face, startling her. She shrieks and falls over, landing flat on her back on the ground. Zeph and Griffin laugh uproariously.

ZEPH: Wow, Fiora, you really fell for that one!

GRIFFIN: Nice one, Zeph!

He and Zeph high-five. Fiora frowns.

FIORA: Oh, ha ha, very funny. Look, I just…

As she looks around the room, desperate for a change in subject, her gaze alights on a mirror in one corner of the room. She flinches back in shock when she spots her silver-haired reflection looking back at her. Fiora rubs her eyes, and in the time it takes her to do so, the strange reflection is gone, replaced by her normal one.

FIORA: Hey, guys... does anyone see anything weird in that mirror there?

She points to the mirror. Everyone follows her gaze curiously.

SHREYA: Nothing but my lovely face, why?

GRIFFIN: I don’t see anything…

BECKETT: It’s simply a mirror.

ZEPH: What, did y’see something there?

FIORA: I mean... it’s gone now. But for a moment, I saw a weird version of myself. Basically the same, but with silver hair and a different expression. Is that normal? Have any of you seen something like that here?

Beckett frowns in puzzlement. He looks to Griffin, who shrugs.

GRIFFIN: Beats me. Weird reflection, you say?

FIORA: Exactly. A weird reflection. I even saw it in--

She stops herself when she realizes she was about to accidentally reveal her origins to the group.

FIORA: Uh, saw it in another mirror. Somewhere before I started at Penderghast... and then again, during the Test of Attunement. It... she... looked just like me, but wasn’t matching my expression or movements. And her hair was silvery.

She absently tugs on a few strands of her own red hair. Griffin frowns.

GRIFFIN: Can’t say I’ve heard of anything like that before. You’re sure you saw it, right? It couldn’t have been some kind of illusion?

Fiora shakes her head.

FIORA: Don’t think so. It sure looked real. You’re sure this isn’t some kind of normal thing that happens in this place?

SHREYA: I haven’t heard of anything like that, either.

Beckett abruptly stands up and starts walking back toward the projection in the corner.

BECKETT: You can continue discussing this phenomenon if you wish. I, however, shall begin my own research into this event. Perhaps I can uncover some insight during my ample free time.

ZEPH: Wait, “ample free time?” Since when? With all of our classes, we’ve got--

BECKETT: You mean to tell me you haven’t completed all of the assigned homework for the entire quarter yet? Nor read each and every textbook twice by now? Hmph.

Zeph visibly shrinks in his seat, embarrassed. Griffin rolls his eyes.

GRIFFIN: Seriously, Beckett? It’s not a competition.

BECKETT (genuinely confused): I did not mean it that way. I apologize. I only meant that, as I have plenty of time available to me, I am best suited to investigating this “strange reflection” that Fiora mentioned.

FIORA: Well, whatever the reason, thanks, Beckett. Hopefully you can find some explanation. It’s kinda creeping me out…

BECKETT (smiles): Naturally. Happy to assist, Fiora. Isn’t that part of friendship, after all?

FIORA: You’re right about that. Thanks!

Shreya yawns, stretching her arms out widely.

SHREYA: Well, I’m not sure about the rest of you, but... (yawns) ...je suis fatigue. Fiora, care to walk back to our room with me?

FIORA: Sounds like a plan, Shreya!

BECKETT: Wait! What about your promise? Two more lectures’ worth of concepts, do you recall?

SHREYA: Please, Beckett. A mademoiselle like myself needs her beauty rest, non? We shall review more of our lectures tomorrow. I promise!

Beckett starts to object, then sighs.

BECKETT: Very well. But I assure you, I will be holding you to it!

SHREYA: Of course you will. Goodnight, all of you!

FIORA: Night!

Everyone says their goodbyes. When it’s Zeph’s turn, however:

ZEPH: Have a romantic night, you two!

Shreya splutters with surprise as Fiora stares at him like a deer in headlights.

SHREYA: What-- what could that possibly-- I don’t-- excuse you--

FIORA (simultaneously): Wait a sec-- no-- we’re not-- hold on--

Zeph breaks down into laughter. After a moment, he stops laughing and simply looks at the two girls with a knowing smirk.

ZEPH: Have fun…

Shreya and Fiora look at each other awkwardly.

FIORA: Uh... right. I’ll just... go now.

SHREYA: Goodnight, Zeph.

The two of them leave the lounge. Zeph stares after them, then turns to look at Griffin.

ZEPH: Ah, young love... am I right, or am I right?

GRIFFIN (shrugs): Who knows?

_______________________

Scene Notes: At long last, we find out about the Dread in this version. Since all of the “super-Attunements” from canon were wrapped into the Primal Forces here, Blood became the Life Primal Attunement, thus making Raife a Wood-Att. Terrifying how the most kind and gentle Attunement can be twisted so far... but as Griffin said, it’s all about our Choices. (See what I did there...?)

Timeline: November 23rd! Still in the ES time jump.

_______________________

Next: Unexpected Saviors

CIU Tag List: @brightpinkpeppercorn @endlesshero1122 @bbaba-yagaa @acidsugar0 @shaylan211 @griselda1121 @acanthisorbis @marmolady

DotF/Elementalists Tag List:

[sgnsunwoo]

all the texts 😘

texting meme: accepting!

DRUNK

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ►  ↳  Dearest friend, I believe someone has poisoned me. My tummy hurts. The room is spinning :( if I don’t make it please hug my mom for me. And take care of Uyu, Baby and the rest. You get them in my will. ↳  Junhyung gets all my books they made movies out of, but you can tell him he doesn’t get anything to tease him one last time. It’s what I would’ve wanted.

SAD

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ►  ↳ Hey, sorry to be a bummer. I’ve just been missing my folks a lot lately and thought I’d check in with you. How is it going? If anything’s bugging you I hope you feel comfortable coming to me to talk, but it’s okay if you don’t too! Just know I’m here and I support you!

MAD

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ I have NEVER seen someone so positively rude. I tell you, I had a very stern word with him about ecological responsibility and our influences on the environment, then he threw it on the ground! Again! WHO DOES THAT? ↳ I had to count thirty pigeons just to resist shoving it into his mouth and see how he feels after eating a nasty wrapper.

HAPPY

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ I was sitting under a tree in the Quad today and a little bitty cutie bunbun got so close to me!!!! They reminded me of you, that’s how cute it was!! ↳ We locked eyes like in the movies and hung out for about ten minutes before they hopped off!!! BEST DAY!!!

TIRED

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ Sleep tight! I hope you have the sweetest dreams. If I dream of you, I'll have them too, so see you there!

BUSY

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ Of course I have some time. I’ll just juggle some things around real quick and you can have my undivided attention, ‘kay?

BORED

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ Hey! Have you ever thought about how sweat is just human condensation? That’s weird right. ↳ Do you think caterpillars know they are going to become butterflies or they just go to sleep and hope for the best? Is that what you did? ↳ Would it work for me? Am I just not sleeping enough?

DRAFTS

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ Would we have ever become friends if it wasn’t for those middle school bullies? I know I can wax poetic about destiny and foreshadowing, but it has to have been fate right? ↳ Right... That’s ridiculous.

WHOOPS

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ Yeah, for sure, I can swing by and drop off my notes. It’s no trouble at all! ↳ Oh, sorry for the mix-up! But I’m going to be over by your place, is there anything I can grab for you on the way?

SCARED

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ i had the nightmare again where everyone’s walking away from me and no matter what i do i can’t catch up ↳ i’m sorry i know it’s the middle of the night but i really really really need a hug right now even just a virtual one

LOVE

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ Have I mentioned lately how utterly astounding you are? I know there’s this kind of joke that you’re not smart, but you are! You work so hard and you’ve learned so much. What you’re trying to do is really tough and you’re the toughest person I know, so I wish you wouldn’t think that way. ↳ Everybody loves you, (as they should), but they better get in line! I may be small on the outside, but inside I’m your biggest fan! Thank you for being you and my friend Jo Danbi! 💗💖

REVEAL

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ How many buttons unbuttoned is considered too many? It’s so hot!! But I don’t want to scare anyone... ↳ I mean, I’ve already got my legs out in these shorts and that seems like it’s toeing the line. You heard it here first, I’m a wicked cool rebel with two (yes 2!) whole buttons undone and half-bare legs. Ugh, how do you feel about ice baths? We should fill one of those inflatable pools with ice and just chill. ↳ Come chill with me in ice. There’ll be floaties! It’ll be fun!!!

NAUGHTY

⌞ Aster ❀⌝   ► ► ↳ I’m not saying if i got suplexed that would be hot but [deleted] ↳ Haha I think I’d throw out my hip if I tried that. You’re welcome to try and teach me how to be more flexible any time though.

[thefilmjournal]

Hereditary (2018)

Writer & Director: Ari Aster

Starring: Toni Collette, Alex Wolff, Milly Shapiro, Gabriel Byrne

Rating: R (horror violence, disturbing images, drug use, and brief graphic nudity)

I had been very much looking forward to seeing Hereditary. I like to call myself a fan of horror, though it seems almost rare for me to actually like one categorized as such. I’m a bit picky, and I think that’s a common thing within the genre--everyone having their own elements they look for in a ‘good’ horror movie. 

I look for horror that will leave a psychological mark. I want something that makes me think about it well after I’ve walked out of the theater. Each A24 film I’ve seen so far has given me something to think about. Though those that I have in mind aren’t categorized as horror. Ex Machina is one that was thought-provoking for me. A more recent one, The Florida Project, and especially its ending, gave me something to think about. I thought if Hereditary could give me that, I would be satisfied.

Based on its trailer, Hereditary definitely seemed to fit the description of the type of horror film I look for. The miniatures, as well as the actress playing Toni Collette’s daughter, Milly Shapiro, were instantly interesting and attention-grabbing. The trailer also includes a great quote from Richard Lawson of Vanity Fair that really sold me: “An unsettling look at what demons we may have inherited from our parents.” 

If you haven’t seen the trailer, you can check it out below!

I was fortunate enough to be able to attend an advanced screening of Hereditary a couple of nights ago. I’d never been to one before, and you know what? They don’t show previews! Or, at least they didn’t that night. That was slightly uncomfortable for me. In any case, here’s what I’ll say before I get into some spoilers: 

It got a good reaction out of me: my eyes would widen in shock and fear, my jaw dropped, and my hands glued themselves to my face for lengthy periods of time. I think it’s worth mentioning that some of the critics in the audience were vocal throughout. I gotta say, especially after watching the movie, that it was marketed very well. By the time the movie had finished, I was very taken aback by everything I had seen and was so affected even after I had already returned home from the theater. Hereditary doesn’t rely on cheap tricks the way tons of modern horror movies tend to do--it’s more bothersome and dark. So, I did not leave let down. While Toni Collette was incredible in the leading role and truly deserves an Oscar (I don’t say that lightly at all), I think we need to give more praise to Alex Wolff than he is currently receiving. 

Spoilers beyond this point! Thanks for reading! 

(Image from IMDb)

The Element of Surprise

Earlier when I said Hereditary was marketed very well, I meant that I expected the plot to go a certain way and it didn’t. Coming into the screening, I assumed that because we were shown a clip in the trailer of Charlie cutting a bird’s head off with scissors, we would follow a story about a disturbed child. Presumably, this behavior would be something you could trace back to Toni Collette’s character or her mother, or both of them--something hereditary! I predicted we would maybe see Charlie go on a killing spree, even if it was more animals. 

The fact that Charlie dies so early on came as a huge shock. You’re set up to consider her a main focus of the movie and instead, she is brutally decapitated. And actually, the movie still revolves around her character. She just isn’t the focus the way most people would expect, which was not only surprising but refreshing.

While there is plenty of disturbing content within the storyline, one of the more unsettling things the movie does for the viewer experience is kill the expectations the audience came in with. After Charlie’s death, I found that I was uncomfortable not knowing what to expect. Throughout the movie I would make guesses as to what would happen next or what something meant, and after enough wrong guesses, I had to surrender. There are plenty of horror movies that seem to follow a formula. So, eventually, you come to have certain expectations when watching them. Here, you become as unaware as the Graham family, and that’s truly the most frightening thing of all: the unknown. 

(Image from Google)

Fear of the Dark

We can’t see as well in the dark and even if we know what’s usually there, things can begin to take on another form and our imaginations roll with it. For myself, I’ll see a pile of clothing or my backpack in the dark and my mind will tend to morphe those things into a human-like figure. I'll sometimes anticipate that happening as I lay down for bed and not want to look into my bathroom or at the hallway because I am afraid of even imagining a figure standing there. Hereditary includes a scene involving that scenario. It takes place in Peter’s bedroom, playing on a fear a lot of us share: seeing something or someone that isn’t supposed to be there.

I think we can all agree that darkness tends to be a necessary element to include in a horror movie. It is tailored nicely into this storyline and expands on that notion of fear of the unknown. Annie sleepwalks, and evidently, according to one of her miniatures, so did Annie’s recently deceased mother. We are given the information that Annie has almost killed herself and her children while in that state. Knowing that history leaves holding your breath during all subsequent sleepwalking scenes. And, of course, we have the seance scenes that give us more scary time in the dark.

While darkness is a tool used to make the film scarier, it did not feel forced in its use here nor did it come across as an obvious device. Something that horror movies like to do, in reference to that second point, is give us jump scares that end up being false alarms. Just when you think the story and action will progress, the scare ends up being some goofy friend or an animal in a bush.

(Image from Google)

The Use of Color

I read an article recently that pointed out the use of the color red in a shot. It said that red was meant to indicate danger to the audience. It seems obvious, but it was not something I necessarily paid attention to in the past. Having just learned this, I made sure to look for red in the movie. 

I noticed that most, if not all, of the examples given in the article signaled immediate danger. I cannot recall the exact examples given, but a similar one I noticed today was in The Force Awakens when Kylo Ren kills Han Solo. The main source of red in Hereditary came from the heaters inside of the tree house. Naturally, I expected that something would happen to Annie while she slept in there or that something sinister would manifest itself. Red in this case was not signaling an immediate danger but was hinting at the evil that would take place there at the end. 

The heats display orange twice. Once in the beginning when we know Charlie is inside the tree house and once at the end. During the end scene, people are in the tree house ready to receive Charlie who is now, or has just found out she is, King Paimon. Although the orange color was a result of candlelight that time around, I am inclined to believe that because the ceremony was being held in her honor, the choice to have Charlie wear an orange hoodie while she was alive was purposeful. In West Side Story, as an example, the gangs are assigned a color or color palettes. Charlie’s been assigned orange. Using the orange in the tree house at the end signaled Charlie’s return.  

Like I said, I can be picky with horror. There are not a whole lot of recent horror films I am into, they are mostly from the ‘60s and ‘70s. Hereditary, however, is one I am eager to see again. I am hearing a lot of praise for the score, and I usually pay close attention to scores, but I must admit that for this, I was so wrapped up in what was going on that I can’t remember what the music must have sounded like, I was that hooked. 

[cosmosfated]

   This shop always made him so uncomfortable.  Maybe that’s because he knows the truth behind the shopkeep, even if that truth wasn’t so much scary as it was ... unnerving.  After all, the blind see much more than people think, especially when it comes to the people themselves.  He’s not going to subject himself to that if he can at all avoid it.

   Take a breath.  Walk in.

   “Shane? Do you have a moment to spare?”

   Shane is seated at his usual spot behind the counter, which looks aged but not withered, crossed with a number of signs of its durability and things that it has been through.  Both by him and by others who have been in the shop.  He’s holding a newspaper in his hands when he’s addressed, but he doesn’t move it, still taken in attention mostly by whatever he’s ‘reading’ on the paper.   “Depends on if you’ll waste said moment.”  A sentiment he punctuates with a turning of the page.

   Of course.  Doc takes a short breath and lets it out with a huff.  “I need your help with a ritual to help Fleur.”

   In an instant, the atmosphere of the shop shifts, and not in a way he can say he particularly enjoys.  The natural lighting dims as something much like curtains are drawn over the windows but invisible to the outside eye, along with the steady footsteps of someone that most certainly wasn’t there before.  A glance behind him out of nervous habit shows that a well dressed and decorated man is standing next to the door, now locked, smiling calmly back at him.  Was that a wink?  That was a wink.  That doesn’t help his nerves.  Back to Shane.

   He’s set down the newspaper, when that happened Doc isn’t quite sure because he never heard it close with its telltale shuffle, and he’s looking directly at him.  Clouded eyes, but his sight isn’t to be challenged.  Not when your existence is based solely on the whims and desires of another, if you’re doing well or if you’re not doing well, if you’re falling down again or if you’re rising.  Doc knows well his position.  That’s why he makes sure to keep his ground.

   “Are you trying to help Fleur��or the kid?”

   A pause.  “Pardon?”

   Shane folds his hands in his lap, not breaking eye contact.  “I’m disinclined to help you at any moment in your day-to-day life, let alone in a ritual that you clearly need someone either extremely powerful or multiple decently powered someones to do. But seeing as you’re trying to do some good, which I can at least understand the intent of, I’ll overlook that. That said, I need to know who you’re doing the ritual for: Fleur or the kid.”

   Doc waits for a few moments.  Fleur or the kid?  He doesn’t understand the question posed to him.  Would it be wise to simply hold his ground, or to question the foundation for his request?  “Fleur is the name the kid gave himself after he clawed his way out again. Fleur is what everyone calls him and refers to him by. Are they not the same person?”  He decides on the latter.

   It seems like he made a good decision, for Shane smirks and he feels someone grinning behind him.  Or maybe that’s all in his head.  “I’m afraid not. Two separate people, with two separate futures stemming from the same past.”

   He stands from his seat and approaches the cursed crow, leaning down somewhat to be closer to eye level.  “Fleur is the cursed and fallen, bound to his chains and willing to bind himself further in order to ensure a false happiness for those around him. The kid is the ferocious and silver-veined, wielding his chains as whips against those who stand in his way and a threat to those above who keep those he loves scared and feeling powerless. They share the same origin story, but they are not the same person. So who are you helping, Garamond Aster? The mask or the mind?”

   “I...”  Something registers in his head, and his eyes widen.  “That’s why nothing I’ve done for him has stuck. Does helping... Fleur damage the other one, does that damage the kid?”

   / “There it is! Fin’ly got it! Knew ‘e could do it!” /  The man from behind him cheers, a sound accompanying it like his foot slamming against the wood with a sound that resembles the contact made with steel rather than the wood used to build this shop.  / “Catchin’ on, are ye?” /

   Shane nods and steps back, locking his hands behind him to keep his hands still.  Or something along those lines.  It’s hard to tell with people like him.  “Your goal is fine. You aim to help the one who gave you a second chance get his own second chance. That in and of itself is fine, admirable even. Your complication is to which end you’re attempting to strive towards. And with a not-so-solitary skull like yours,”  he says with a motion with one hand to tap at Doc’s forehead.  “rituals like what you’re trying to do get weaker and less connected to the good and more connected to the bad.”

   Drat, he thought he was hiding that from everyone...  Well, he couldn’t have hidden it forever.  He’s actually relieved that he doesn’t have to keep up appearances about that.  About the whispers, the echoes and hauntings, the whims he finds it hard to disregard.  “I... want to help him. He deserves more than what he was given in life, and in death. Nicer things, softer and gentler. He deserves a chance to be happy and not worry about whether or not that happiness will be taken from him unnaturally or when he has his guard down. He deserves... better.”

   “And what if this doesn’t work, Garamond?”  Shane intones, gesturing with an open palm towards the ceiling.  “What if this has the opposite effect? What makes you think I can do anything more than what I’ve already done?”

   “I have to try!”  His resolution towards this cause rings clear in his tone.  “I have to try, because what if it does work? What if it does get him to have a little more strength, a little more resilience, a little more energy to work with when everything goes to hell in a handbasket? What if I don’t do it, and it could have helped, and I didn’t even make an effort to do something for him? After all he’s done for me, for my family, for everyone around him... I can’t just stand aside and watch him fall. No matter what, I still care about him, and I want to see him have a happy life, even if it doesn’t include me in the mix. Even if I have to sacrifice everything, he deserves that chance to have something true and real and not have to concern himself with whether or not it’s going to up and disappear. And if you won’t help, then I’ll find someone who will.”

   / “Even if ye have t’ sacrifice everythin’, eh?” /

   Doc blinks.  Right, that man was there- hrk!  Now he’s resting an arm around his shoulders and leaning against him.  What’s this strange man doing?  Wait... he recognizes this one, doesn’t he?  “... Yes, everything. He gave me a chance at seeing that even someone like me could change, could be better, could have a family, could love again. He of all people deserves that chance as well.”

   / “Couldn’t’ve said it better m’self, Feathers! Don’t ya agree, Oz’?” /  A sharp toothed smile of a predator in the fog, a shark in the water, grins excitedly at the taller man.  / “Guy’s got some guts. Sprinkle in some proper plannin’, a dash a’ that lovely determination, an’ ye’ve got yerself a stalwart defense! Well, save f’r that lil’ fracture in yer mind, but that can be aided.” /

   Shane’s silent for a while, only to glance over towards a rack of necklaces as if to see for some sort of sign.  To stop?  To continue?  To ignore him outright?  He doesn’t know but it seems as if he got his answer from something he ‘saw’ in the necklaces.  “If this is the ritual I’ve been told about by the assholes up on high, then you must need me to be at my plausible best. To cover for the missing two that this timeline doesn’t have. Am I wrong?”

   “... No, you’re right. Also, I may have... informed the elves helping of your status. What you actually are. Just Alloraya and her brother. You know, so that they’d understand the gravity of the situation and everyth--”

   “Garamond, what the fuck. That’s not your business to tell!”

   “I wasn’t thinking!”

   “Clearly.”

   “At least you’re friends with them... it makes this ritual easier. I hope.”

   “I was friends with them, yes. Keyword: was. Not in this timeline though. Not here, not now. It’ll make things far tougher for everyone involved since they don't recall anything of before, or I suppose after everything is said and done.”

   “..Actually, they do. They recall many of the things involved with our home timeline. They just have a bit of that fog when it comes to you, because you’re, ah... not so involved with the world like you used to be. Your guild not existing and... all that.”

   “Hm.”

   / “Ah come on, Oz’. Feathers ‘ere means well, ‘e’ll definitely make it worth yer while! Ain’t that right, Feathers?” /

   “........ Of course. Why are you calling me “Feathers” anyway?”

   / “Yer a crow, an’ I ‘eard talk back then about the easily ruffled Arcanist being up in authority due to how right and inventive he was. Guessin’ that’s you, lad.” /

   “Right. And you seem familiar... we’ve met, right? From before? I can’t quite grasp your name... R-something...”

   / “Otto. S’ what everyone calls me. But no matter! Off we go, Oz’! We’ve a kid to ‘elp out! It’s been fore’er since I’ve ‘ad my kid back an’ we’ve a chance to grab ‘im, at least to talk again f’r a bit! Come on!” /

   SIIIIIIGH.   “So it would seem.”

[silverlight013]

DNTOS CH35

Here’s what you’ve all been waiting for.

April 13th

My eyes flutter open to the darkness of my room. What time is it? I sit up, propping myself up against the headboard as I rub my eyes. They try to adjust to the dark as I notice a thin band of light peeking in from behind the blackout curtains. Well I guess the sun is up already…

Finally adjusted to the darkness I glace at my alarm clock, its numbers a red beacon in the dark. Oh my god it's 10 am…I can't believe I slept in that long…but after working so hard yesterday I guess I needed it. I sigh and lay back down, rolling to my left side to face the end table where the annoying red numbers are. I snuggle down into the comforter and make myself into a human burrito. My work phone is also on the table and it calls attention to itself with a happy chirp, signaling a new voicemail.

What the hell?

I stick my hand out of the human-rito and reach for my phone; my finger hits a button as I grab it and the phone lights up, blinding the shit out of me. I cringe and squint while my eyes desperately try to adjust again. I sit back up and lean against the headboard. Despite the retinal pain I smile when I see my phones display.

It's a picture of Ryuzaki and holding ice-cream cones. I was having a rather good day, but Ryuzaki…not so much. When I took the picture Ryuzaki was in an especially awful mood; I can't remember the exact details but I do remember that Watari had gone out and gotten us all ice cream and I wanted a picture with everyone, so I eventually got to Ryuzaki and aster much protesting I finally decided to just stand next to him and take the damn picture whether he wanted to or not. I walked right up to him with my ice cream and phone and put the phone in front of us and snapped the shot. It wasn't until after when I looked at it that I started to laugh at how unamused Ryuzaki had actually been. Looking back at it, he looks like a spoiled kid who didn't get the flavor he wanted and was pissy about it. I'm about to hit the voicemail button when the numbers on the display catch my eye.

April 13th…it's my birthday…

I stare at the display momentarily before dialing voicemail.

"You have one message. Message received." It beeps and my face lights up as I recognize the voice on the message.

"Hey! Suzuki! It's Matsuda here, sooo a little birdy told me that today is your birthday; and boy do I have a surprise for you." He clears his throat and begins to sing in broken English. "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Suzuki! Happy Birthday to you!" I can hardly contain my laughter as he changes back to his native language. "I have a lot of stuff to do at my place today, seeing as how it's our first day off in a while, but I'll try to stop by headquarters when I'm done. Maybe I'll even bring you a present. If I don't see ya though, have a great day and drink lots of booze." The line clicks as he ends his message. I smile and hit a number.

"Message saved."

I pull up a text and address it to Matsuda. My 'couples only' panda charm swings wildly in my way and I tuck it behind my hand holding the phone.

'Thanks Matsuda, I got your message. It means a lot.' I add a few emoji's before I hit send and slide back down under the covers. I put my arms behind my head and stare up at the ceiling.

What does one do on a 22nd birthday?

                                                           . . .

As I walk out of my room and into the hall of the suite I'm greeted with an eerie silence. That's…odd. Where are Watari and Ryuzaki? Did they go out? I glance around and listen for movement before deciding to check the kitchen first. Since today's my day off I decided to ditch the button up shirt and opt for a black sweater and an old pair of ripped jeans. Under my sweater, in case I get warm, is a black tank top.

As I stroll into the kitchen I'm greeted by Watari's back to the door. My stomach growls and informs me that it's time to eat. I slide into a chair at the table as the old man turns to me with a welcoming smile.

"Well good morning Miss, did you sleep well?" He turns around and wipes his hands with a dish towel.

"Yeah, thanks for letting me sleep in so long…I think these long nights are finally catching up to me." I put my elbows on the table and put my head in my hands.

"It was actually Ryuzaki's idea." My ears perk up slightly at the sound of his name.

I wonder if he told Watari about the girlfriend thing…it's been about a week since it happened, but I don't think anyone knows yet…we've been too damn busy with the case…sooo many files…the other day I almost thought my fingers were gonna fall off because of how many files I had to input into the system…it was awful.

I turn around and look through the kitchen door. "Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him yet and the suite is unusually quiet…" I trail off as Watari smiles at me.

"I'm not sure, perhaps you should go look for him." He turns back to whatever he was doin' and I stand from my chair to leave.

"Yeah…I guess I'll go do that…" I give him a suspicious look as I pass through the kitchens' door.

Well that was fuckin' weird…it's like he wanted to get rid of me…

I walk down the hall, past my room and into our work area, which is still littered with evidence of yesterday's efforts. I stop a minute to pick up a few pages off the floor and straighten up the table.

What would they do without me? I sigh as I put my hands on my hips. No Ryuzaki here…maybe he's in his room. I glance across the room to Ryuzaki's partially open door. Could he be sleeping? Is that why Watari wanted me to look for him? A smile crosses my face at the thought of catching Ryuzaki sleeping. Should I scare him awake? Or sneak up and take a picture?

I quickly make my way across the room, my socks silent on the carpeted floor. I test push the door and it doesn't make a sound. A grin forms on my face as I get ready to sneak in. Okay, on three…one…two…THREE!

In a quick fluid movement I push the door open and slide into the room. The lights are off and the curtains are drawn, creating utter darkness. Slowly I make my way over to the side of the bed.

I think maybe I'll just take a picture…yeah, proof that Ryuzaki actually does sleep…

Suddenly the lights flick on in the room blinding the ever loving shit outta me. I cover my eyes and backpedal from the pain.

"Ahh! Son of a bitch!"

"Oh. Hello there Suzuki." My eyes adjust to the light and I freeze. I've been caught...I spin around to where Ryuzaki's voice is coming from and my heart jumps into my throat.

Oh my god...

I can barely breathe, the only thing I can do is stare at him...and his exposed torso. I breathe in shakily and look him up and down.

I...he...shower...towel...

Ryuzaki is standing in the doorway to the bathroom with one towel around his waist and one towel on his head. He reaches up with his left (my left) hand and begins to dry his hair.

Oh my god...

My eyes wander around his sleek frame as my heart starts to pound. He's thin, but toned...I can see every outline of his muscles. You can definitely tell that he's a martial artist. My eyes travel from his defined abs down to where his towel wraps around his waist, the 'v' of his hips peeking over the top of it, just asking to be explored. I have to pull my eyes up an away from it before it makes me do something I'll later regret, I instead go back to his torso, past those toned abs, past his collar bones that always peek out at me, and finally up to those onyx orbs he calls eyes. I swallow rather hard as he shifts; his hair is flat against his face accentuating how pale he is and the circles under his eyes. I realize now that I haven't responded to him.

"H-hi R-ryuzaki." I barely manage to stutter it out; his eyes go from normal boredom to concern. He takes a step toward me.

"Is everything alright?" My heart skips as a lock of untame-able hair falls in front of his eye. I can practically hear my heart pounding in my ears.

I quickly spin around and face the other way toward the bedroom door, covering my mouth with my hand. With my back to him I can actually think straight.

"Y-yeah I'm perfectly fine Ryuzaki." My fuckin' heart is just hell bent on jumping out of my chest...

I hear him walk over somewhere behind me and the rustle of paper, but I don't turn around for fear if staring again. He rips whatever paper he was writing on and comes up behind me. I can feel the heat from his shower radiating off his body, smell the scent of his chocolate body wash. My body reacts and it takes all of my being not to turn around and grab him around the shoulders and kiss him 'till we're both blue in the face. I shake all the dirty thoughts from my head as he extends the note to me; I see it out of the corner of my eye.

"If you say so. Well, since you're here would you be able to go to the store and pick up a few things for me?" I glance down at the note as he crinkles it slightly. I take a deep breath as I realize this is my chance to escape. I quickly snatch the note from him and get the fuck outta there.

"Yep sure thing Ryuzaki, I'll go do that right now, see ya later bye." I practically run toward the front door of the suite, I pull on my boots as fast as I can and grab the keys to the Mercedes. "Bye Watari, gotta go run errands for Ryuzaki be back later!" I don't wait for him to say anything, I just leave and before I know it, I'm in the elevator heading down.

I lean against the wall of the elevator and sigh.

Fuck...

I put my hand to my chest and feel my still rapid heartbeat. I lean my head back against the cold metal elevator wall.

I don't even know what to think...the image of Ryuzaki in a towel just keeps comin' to mind. Don't get me wrong, it was amazing...but completely threw me off. It was disorienting and distracting as hell...well I'm technically his girlfriend and that should make it fine, but that's the first time I've ever seen him shirtless like that...well there was that one time when he tried to strip in front of me but...I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like this relationship is just for show...then again, maybe that's what being Ryuzaki's girlfriend is like...nothing changes, you just get a new title.

I sigh as the elevator doors ding and open to reveal the hotels entrance hall. I gently push off the wall and head to the parking garage where the Mercedes is parked.

My stomach growls as I step out into the garage, I groan and regret leaving before i could eat something.

I should have eaten...shit...

I hit a button on the key-fob and the Mercedes chirps happily, signaling that she's unlocked her doors for me. Partially naked Ryuzaki pops into my head again as I slide into her seat and sigh.

That image is forever burned into my brain...I'll never be able to look at him the same way again... I lean forward and rest my head against the steering wheel. Alright, get it together! You have a job to do, you can fantasize later.

I take a deep breath and ready myself before turning over the Mercedes and clicking my seat belt in. I lean back and dig the grocery list out of my pocket, reading it.

This just has different Ryuzaki snacks on it...and ice-cream...wait, what's this one here? Ah shit! I have to go to the other side of town for this one! What time is it now? I glance down at the radio's clock. Damn noon already...no wonder I'm hungry...better stop for food before I do the list...

I put the Mercedes in reverse, back out of the spot, and leave the parking garage, ready to start my adventure that is Ryuzaki's errands.

Shouldn't take too long, right? It's just some groceries...

                                                           . . .

April 13th, 5:30pm

'Shouldn't take too long it's just some groceries, right?'

Boy was that statement fuckin' wrong...Ryuzaki and Watari called me four different times, each! And they had more errands for me to do each time. Errands! On my birthday! It's like they don't even know...I even stopped by the hospital to check on the Chief...I may have complained a bit too...He said that it was alright for me to vent to him and he wished that my day would get better. Sachiko stopped by too while I was there; she quickly went into mom mode, saying how Ryuzaki shouldn't make me work so hard on my birthday and how she was sorry that she didn't know about it ahead of time because she would have thrown me a party or made me a cake. I had teared up at that...For her, a woman I barely know, to act like more of a mother than my adoptive mother...just kinda touched my heart...I ended up leaving after that and I waited until I was in the car before letting the waterworks loose...that's kinda about where I am now; on my way back to the hotel, the Mercedes semi-full with odds and ends from my trip around town. Some groceries, some dry-cleaning, and a few other things; luckily though, everything should be able to come up in one trip.

I pull the old Mercedes back into her spot in the garage and turn off her engine.

Alright, time to get all this crap upstairs.

                                                           . . .

It doesn't take long for me to get everything upstairs, and as I thought, it only takes one trip.

I push the door open with my foot and call into the suite.

"Guys I'm back!" With all your shit...

Watari emerges from the kitchen with a smile and takes the bags from my hands as I kick off my boots.

"Ah, thank you for running the errands today Miss." I sigh as I open the hall closet and hang up the dry cleaning.

I have no idea where this goes...

"No problem Watari." I stretch my arms above my head as my stomach growls. Watari seems to hear it...somehow.

"You must be hungry, Miss. Why don't you go ahead and wash up. Oh, and I picked out something that might be to your liking, I left it on the bed. If you'd try it on I'd like to see if I got the size correct. I raise my eyebrow at him suspiciously.

"Yeah...sure thing Watari..." I head to my room, but glance back a few times at the old man.

Is he planning something?

                                                           . . .

I step through my doorway and immediately look to my bed as I shut the door behind me. There is a black dress sitting on it, I step closer to examine it. I pick the dress up by its shoulders and hold it to myself. I walk over to the floor length mirror on the closet door and check myself out.

The dress is black with a swooping "U" for the neck; holding it up it seems to reach down to about half my thigh.

I think the kids these days call this a skater dress, little odd for Watari to pick this out for me, but hey, I won't turn down free clothes.

I hold out one of the sleeves to measure how long they are; Watari seems to have taken my sleeve length pet peeve into consideration because they are a tad bit longer than my reach. However, the arms are thin so the sleeves might be a bit tight.

I glance around the room looking for some indicator that maybe this is a birthday present in disguise, but there's no hint of that anywhere. I sigh lightly.

Well, better wash up before I try it on.

I set the dress down on the back of one if the chairs before proceeding into my bathroom. It doesn't take long for me to wash my face and hands and soon I find myself stepping out of my old ripped jeans and into the slimming black dress.

I stare in awe at my reflection as I smooth out the dress. It's tight, but in a form fitting way, it goes down to my waist before there is actually a hem that makes the lower half flow out like flower petals. The swooped neck goes down just enough for you to be able to see my crescent moon necklace and collarbones, but stays up high enough to where you can't see my cleavage...or lack thereof. The sleeves, as I thought, are slightly long and reach to about half my hand.

I reach up in a stretch to test them and they only slide down to my wrist.

Damn he's good.

A smile crossed my face as I do a little spin to check the way it flows.

Wow…

KNOCK KNOCK

My heart nearly jumps out of my chest at the sound of the knock and I quickly walk over to answer it. I only open it a crack before realizing it's Watari, but then I opening it fully. I outstretch my arms and spin.

"Well?"

The old man smiles. "My, you look absolutely radiant, Miss." I giggle like a schoolgirl.

"Radiant? I think that's a bit much, I think we can stop at just pretty for today." Watari laughs at me.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Miss." I blush instantly and glance back at the mirror.

Well I guess I do look pretty good…

"You should show Ryuzaki, I'm sure he'll be speechless." My heart skips at the mention of his name.

"Oh Watari…I don't know about that…"

"Nonsense. Just go and show him, I believe he's in the living room." He gives me a self-esteem boosting smile and moves out of my way and into the hall. I look away from him and at my reflection. I put my thumb to my mouth like Ryuzaki does when he's thinking.

Should I show him? I mean after all it's just a dress right? Maybe he'll stop and stare like the day I had on eyeliner.

A wide grin consumes my face as I finally decide.

"Alright; I'll show him." Watari extends his arm into the hall, urging me to go.

"Excellent!" I walk past him, my heart pounding as I practically skip to the living room.

                                                             . . .

As I run to the living room I can barely contain my excitement.

"Ryuzaki, look what-" I stop dead in my tracks and stare at the scene before me, my heart jumping to my throat.

"Suzuki…welcome back, you look…beautiful." I hear Ryuzaki's voice, but it doesn't fit with what I'm seeing. I blink a few times and wait for the image to change. I even rub my eyes, but the sight in front of me remains.

There is a table set for two over by the window, plates, flowers, candles, the whole shebang. Happy Birthday balloons float everywhere, while streamers hang from the ceiling. I stare in shock as I now see my very own panda-eyes, frog-like-sitting, new socially-inept-boyfriend-Ryuzaki, standing next to the table holding a bouquet of roses…in a suit…

Reality finally sets in and I can't hold back my tears this time. I put my hands up to hide them and hear what sounds like Ryuzaki setting the roses down. The happy tears flow like a waterfall and no matter how hard I try they just won't stop. Through the sound of my sobs I can hear the shuffle of fabric as Ryuzaki seems to come my way. I smell his chocolatey body wash as the weight of long awkward arms surround me.

I let my hands fall to the side as I finally stop crying enough to look up at him. He looks down at me with eyes that I've never seen him wear before. These eyes aren't the normal, boring, dead eyes he's famous for; these eyes are filled with concern…and…love…

"I'm sorry if I upset you. I've been reading up on relationships and they said that this is what a woman would want for her birthday, but it seems I may have done something wrong…this was supposed to make you happy…"

He remembered…but more than that…he actually cares and planned this to surprise me…

I pull back gently and rub the rest of my tears away with the back of my hand.

"I'm not sad Ryuzaki, these are happy tears…no one has ever done this for me before. I can't believe you planned all this." He sticks his hands in his pockets and shifts uncomfortably.

"Well…I thought I'd ask Watari's opinion and he insisted on going all out when I mentioned that we're in a relationship now…not that I'm entirely certain as to what that means…so most of it was at his behest…including this…" He gestures to his suit and for a split second his eyes go back to normal and I chuckle lightly.

"What would you do without him, Ryuzaki?" The side of his mouth picks up into a grin.

"We best hope we never have to find out." We stand there for an awkward second before he extends his arm toward the table. "Shall we?" I smile the brightest smile I have ever smiled in my entire life and take him by the arm.

"We shall." We walk over to the table and Ryuzaki stops to pull out my chair. I notice his movements are shaky and robotic, like he's rehearsed this a thousand times, but he's nervous he'll mess up.

I sit down, careful not to wrinkle my dress as he walks to the other side of the table. I touch the head of one of the roses, surprised at how soft it actually is. Watari enters the room with a devilish grin; he has a vase in his hand.

"You sneaky old man, I can't believe you planned this." He picks up the roses and places them in the vase.

"Whatever do you mean, Miss." I give him a suspicious look and he chuckles before returning to the kitchen.

I turn my head to the window as the sun paints in an orange hue across the sky. Watari returns with the clearing of his throat and a waiter's food cart. My stomach growls at a familiar smell.

Is that Chicken Parmigiana?

My mouth begins to water at the smell as Watari serves both Ryuzaki and I. I glance at Ryuzaki suspiciously. "You're actually gonna eat this?" He looks up from the small portion on his plate; hesitation in his eyes.

"I think I will give Italian another try tonight…" My heart swells in my chest and I can't help but smile.

Watari places two wine glasses in front of us. "Would you care for wine, Miss?" I cringe slightly, but then I realize that he's waiting for my response before he opens the bottle.

"No thank you Watari, the usual will do just fine." He smiles and puts the wine back in the ice bucket on the cart, bringing out a can in its place. I grin at his consideration. He pops open the can and gently pours it into my wine glass; careful not to let the carbonation overflow. He does the same for Ryuzaki, but with some other liquid; I don't ask what it is.

"Dinner is served, enjoy." Before I can even say 'thank you' Watari disappears.

I cut up a piece of chicken and gently place it in my mouth. My taste buds explode at the flavor, leaving my jaw aching for more.

"Watari is the best cook in the world." I cover my mouth with my hand as I speak because…well frankly I'm an animal that chews and talks with her mouth full.

Ryuzaki swirls pasta onto his fork and places it in his mouth. He's hesitant and I can tell that he's not used to this type of food, but he doesn't seem to hate it.

"Indeed…"

We continue to make small talk throughout dinner, but mostly I just shove food in my face.

"You know, one of the articles said to bring you to a carnival with a Ferris wheel, but I'm not sure there are any this early in the season."

I stop my fork just inches from my mouth. "Oh yeah? With my luck we'd get stuck at the top, or worse, the whole thing would break and we'd fall to our untimely death…Kira wouldn't have to know out names then, he'd just have to control someone else-oh sorry…that was morbid wasn't it…" I shrink down in my chair mentally scolding myself for being so awkward.

"That would be rather unfortunate…and odd. Greatest Detective in the world L; goes to carnival, dies in Ferris wheel accident. Seems like something Kira might be responsible for." He brushes off my awkwardness and I sigh in relief.

"After everything I've been though, all the danger, all the-just terrible shit…just to be killed by a fall or machinery malfunction, I think I'd feel gipped." I chuckle slightly as Ryuzaki sips his drink. I sigh and pretend that I'm not a mess. I look down slightly and my eyes go wide.

Wait a minute! I didn't notice it before, but he's actually sitting normally!

I recover and sip my own drink while I pretend to ignore what I've just realized as we finish our meal. After a few minutes Ryuzaki rises and come to my side of the table, his chocolatey scent makes my heart sip as he outstretches his hand. I glance up at him confused, but then he smiles nervously and I take it anyway.

He walks me over to the window and we watch as the sun finally makes its way to the horizon. The earlier orange has changed to a painting of not just orange, but blues and purples as well. The lights of the building resemble the night sky, each window a star on the back silhouette of its home building.

Ryuzaki gives a sad sigh and I turn to him. "You must forgive me…I didn't get you anything…I couldn't decide on a gift…All the sites said that women like jewelry, but you don't wear anything other than your crescent moon, so I was unsure." I reach up and touch my necklace tearing up a little again.

He put so much thought into all of this…it sounds like he was planning an anniversary…

I look at him, his eyes are sad, his lips pouting slightly; he really seems upset. Suddenly the image of him in a towel flashes in my mind as I notice his coat and tie is gone, along with the top two button of his shirt. His collar bones are peeking through the opening of his shirt, almost as if calling to me, asking me to run my hands across them.

"Ryuzaki…"I pull my eyes back up to his. "There is something I want…that you can give me right now…and you don't even have to go out and buy it." He seems to perk up slightly.

"There is?" I nod at him.

"Close your eyes…" I can see the wheels turning in his mind as he realizes what I want. His pale face turns a light pink and he fidgets slightly.

"I-I've never done that before-" My heart sinks.

Maybe I pushed him too far…maybe he's not ready…maybe he doesn't want to kiss me…

"If you don't want to…that's okay." I turn back to the window to hide my shame, but then Ryuzaki steps in and gently places a hand on my face, guiding it back to face his. He takes in a deep breath.

"Please…close your eyes…" My eyes go wide for a second as my heart pounds loudly in my chest. After another second I close my eyes and wait patiently.

Dear lord if this is a dream don't let me wake up!

Suddenly there is a soft pressure against my lips as Ryuzaki's meet mine. My heart does flips as I feel the softness of one hand on my face while the other seems to find my lower back. His lips are soft and I have to hold myself back from wanting more. I wrap my arms around his neck as he slightly intensifies our kiss. I moan softly as want grows in my stomach; I want to run my fingers through his hair, I want him to pick me up and press me against the wall, I want him to kiss me until I can't breathe, I want him to carry me to the bedroom, I want…him…

From outside I can only imagine how awkward our kiss must look, but from behind closed eyes, my heart is fluttering and my body is aching for more. Ryuzaki is the first to break our kiss and my eyes flutter open as the pressure of his soft lips leaves my own. His normally pale face is tinted pink, from embarrassment or excitement I don't know. He takes a step back, placing his hands in his pockets nervously.

"I've never done that before, was it alright?" He stares at me with a concerned look.

He's never kissed anyone before? You'd never guess…that was the best kiss I think I've ever experienced.

My heart melts as he awaits my answer. "Yes Ryuzaki, best kiss I've ever had…and best birthday." I smile brighter than ever. He smiles too, but then suddenly it fades.

"I'm sorry to cut out night short, but…I think I've had enough excitement for one day…I hope you'll understand."

There he goes…retreating again…

Internally I want to die, but on the outside, for his sake, I smile. "It's alright Ryuzaki, I understand. Go and have some quiet time, you did so well today you deserve it."

Before he can respond I hear the front door open and someone shouts out to me.

"Suzuki! Are you ready to get wasted?!" I recognize immediately as Matsuda; Ryuzaki seems to as well because he picks up his suit jacket and tie and retreats towards his room.

Matsuda walks in just in time to see that Ryuzaki was actually wearing a suit and he just looks back and forth between me and Ryuzaki's closed door.

"Was he just-were you two-are you two-" He can't get the words out, but I know now that the cat is out of the bag. I shrug and look longingly past Matsuda and his bag of assorted alcohol at the door that separates Ryuzaki and me.

April 13th; today was the day that I turned 22. What does one do on a 22nd birthday you might ask? Well, today is the day that Ryuzaki and I kissed and then I got really, really drunk.