#getting an apartment with the polycule is supposed to be a meme not a reality
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actually the idea of moving in with someone is fucking terrifying
#astro talks#we have put a deposit down on an apartment.....#and im feeling things !!!!#like in the long run i dont think this situation will work out. and tbh i have been pretty open about that to ppl lmfao#and i think i can handle the v short term...#but them medium term.... actually fucking terrifying#getting an apartment with the polycule is supposed to be a meme not a reality#dude im scared. what if everyone hates me forever and also i have a million meltdowns#(yes i know im being unrealistic like i know..... but)#i have been around my partner when ive been in a bad place mentally but like.....#not for more than a few hours u know !! living in the same place is a whole different story#and not during a meltdown or smth like that.... but also like dude im so fucking glad to be getting out of my house holy shit#dude my mums reaction abt me being on ritalin has been.... hope ur not manic. and thats it.#and like i got worried also bc i felt so good! but no thats just me being good n also excited bc the medication is actually working lmfao#also she has been so pissed about the place we are moving. like the suburb is โdodgyโ (aka cheap)#and she is so......#like the place probably does have higher violence rates. and such and such !#and it will probably be a second before i wear a fucking skirt when leaving the apartment#but holy shit. u have wanted me gone for like three years. why are u being so fkn pedantic when it is actually happening#my mum is such an interesting person. would love to study her tbh. but like not as her kid lmfao#was on a call with my dad today and told him abt where i was planning to move and he also brought it up#(he has not lived in this city in at least thirty years)#and i was like. dont worry mum has this topic very covered#and he laughed and said ofc she has. dude its so interesting thinking about them in love#lmao. what was i even talking about#i should get my journal restarted#weirdly with all my newfound motivation that hasnt rly existed in that context. idk why#maybe if i could re-write the vibes from here into docs i would get back to it#tbh i should journal abt last weekend. bc i know it will last in my memory for fucking ages#and i should rly keep a record of more than just the vague good and proud feeling that exists in my brain from it lmfao
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