#get this creep away from alexa now do not piss me off

[heavymetalfight]

my real and true thots on kicker's dad

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 12/14 NXT 12/16 NXT UK 12/17 Smackdown 12/18 TLC 12/20 + Main Event 12/17

Raw:

“This Sunday at tlc, it’s gonna be you and me against Nia and Shayna,” Lana says to Asuka, as a quiet ‘woo’ can be heard in the distance.

Lana facing her fears and fighting Nia Jax makes her the bravest person Asuka knows. Rolling. Fucking Asuka. ASUKA. wwe, stop.

Why isn’t Asuka accompanying Lana to the ring?

I like Lana’s gear.

Joe just compared Lana to a mosquito, goodbye.

Oh snap look how fast Lana did that headscissors takedown. We’re witnessing her progression, ladies and gents.

You know, I knew Lana would win this match, I knew exactly how she would win this match, but jfc what a treat watching it myself. 

Nia’s face lmfao.

Shayna wrecking Asuka so she can’t save Lana from her inevitable fate. Still curious on whether or not this beatdown injured her, if she was injured going into the match, or if it was all really just a storyline.

Yikes this is sad.

Man that leg drop onto Lana’s ankle actually looked kinda wicked, ngl.

*distant woo intensifies*

Wow we got real tears from Lana. Points.

Becky and Charlotte have been gone, Alexa hasn’t been on tv, the Raw women’s championship has become a meaningless prop... what a dead period for this roster.

Hi why is this match happening?

I will never not be impressed by Dana’s entrance.

Is Mandy actually hurt? Why did they take her off tv for so long? Is Shayna the resident kayfabe shelver? “Hey this girl is actually injured, have her written off by Shayna” ?? Cuz I know they’re not splitting Dana and Mandy up, and Dana has been on tv every week since Mandy left. Must be genuine.

These 2 are running roughshod over the entire division at this point.

OH SHIT MANDY’S BACK WITH A KENDO STICK

Lmfao the babyfaces are fucking done with Nia and Shayna. Honestly that’s great, I love it when babyfaces band together to stand up to dominant duos. This has been going on long enough. They took out Mandy, took out Lana, were about to take out Dana. Totally fair.

Highlight: Lana getting a clean win over Nia & being taken out so my queen can return

---

NXT:

It’s a funny thing with Toni and Rhea. Toni says she’s the reason Rhea came to nxt, but she’s also the reason I became such a huge fan of Rhea’s. Heard they were having some big TakeOver match and everyone was always praising Toni. So I checked into Blackpool solely to see what the Toni Storm fuss was about, and I left that ppv solely impressed by Rhea Ripley. Then I took particular notice of Rhea in the Royal Rumble a few weeks later, and I’ve been watching NXT UK for her ever since (til she moved). To see her growth has been tremendous, and she’s so young. Such a bright future.

The music to this is great.

Toni says she isn’t scared of Rhea, as if Rhea’s mere theme music didn’t scare the absolute shit out of Toni the week prior lol.

Toni’s not even a terrible promo, but the timing of her blinks could not be worse. Yes, it matters.

I can’t stop laughing at how fucking intensely Shotzi started this interview.

She does pissed off interviews well. I can feel her annoyance.

Really don’t want to see a Candice/Shotzi feud tbh but okay, I’ll try.

aaand there’s the howl. Awful.

Lmfao Rhea called Toni a piece of trash. This is gonna be interesting to see with the alignments reversed.

I don’t remember who won this match, but I’m betting it was Toni. Which is fair tbh. Rhea is probably on the “put some peeps over before moving up to the main roster” path that everyone in the women’s division walks on. They always eat at least one monumental, or a couple meaningful, loss(es).

Oh man that is fucked up. To not only be forced to continue punching/kicking a human (fun fact: the person on the offense takes quite the damage doing so) but to have the defenseless victim bleed out and beg for you to stop. That’s rough.

This was shot really well. That music holy shit, I’m creeped out. It’s like a horror movie.

I see the point. Numbs him to pain and breaks his will, while numbing her to mercy. Ruthless stuff.

Oh are we finally done with Indi’s neck brace? Cool.

I can’t believe wwe invested in this upgraded tank. I still don’t think it’d work on the MR, but points to the boss for shelling out the cash.

Wtf was that stumble and “fall” by Indi lmao.

If Candice was a real bully, she’d distract Shotzi by fucking with her tank at ringside.

Indi does need a mentor, she’s a hell of a lot greener than my mutuals have made it sound. oof.

Shotzi looks like she has no idea how to work with Indi, and Indi looks gassed, confused, and slow as hell.

All Indi knows it going from spot to spot while Shotzi waits around for her to get there.

Lol Indi failed at getting a dirty win. I don’t really care if this is a part of her The Way storyline, what a mess.

The only redeeming part of this piss poor segment was Theory shaking the troll’s head at Shotzi.

I’ll give wwe an extra $9.99 if they let this match have a clean ending.

“[Rhea] was at one point the biggest superstar in the world,” that isn’t even close to being true because Becky Lynch exists, but I’ll let it slide and pretend you said “in nxt”.

Their paths will be so similar to Becky and Charlotte in the future.

Wow what a sequence. That would’ve received an applause on the MR. Traded headlocks for restholds, threw around their strength, then went into a battle of pinfall reversals. Instead of following that with some stalemate, they didn’t take a breath and proceeded to dance with each other and showcase some chemistry before rolling back into a battle of pinfall reversals. The sequence started with a kick by Toni to Rhea’s midsection, and it ends with a kick by Rhea to Toni’s midsection. Peep that match production, good stuff.

My, my, those slaps to Toni’s back. Whew.

Yeah actually it’s really fucking cool that these 2 get to main event nxt together, come to think of it.

They sell well for each other.

Rhea has the best dropkicks, lesbireal.

Holy shit Toni’s headbutts make my own head hurt. God I wish she wouldn’t. Most people put their hands between the heads so no contact can be made, but Toni’s just like “lol fuck it”

This is a great match. This duo works a lot better with these specific alignments. Watching face Toni try to chop down Rhea is not as good as heel Toni being impossibly hard for Rhea to put away.

Women’s matches and never having a clean ending. Name a more iconic duo. Winter of overbooked women’s matches continues.

Like I had guessed Toni was gonna win anyway, but fucking come on.

*Bonus* online exclusive: Toni says playing by the rules got her diddly and squat, but like... she was a champion lol. “It ain’t even Toni time right now, it’s party time.” Alright.

Highlight: Rhea vs Toni minus the ending

---

NXT UK:

I don’t know why we’re getting Isla Dawn vs KLR but anytime I get to see KLR fight, I’m here for it.

Hell even Isla’s song never kicks it out of first gear. Song has so much potential but it never goes to the next level.

Ahhhh my Scottish queen is here.

No, don’t compare Sasha’s basement meteora to the double knees Isla did. That was pitiful.

Anyway, KLR vs any of the 4hw would be fantastic, take my money. Sasha, Bayley, Charlotte, or the woman KLR wanted to face at TO Dublin, Dublin native Becky Lynch.

That back body drop is horrendous as a finisher. It’s like when Becky won her debut match the exploder suplex. Awful lmao. Imagine if KLR lost to a back body drop ffs.

You don’t get to be this frustrated for not being able to beat the champion when you’ve only been fighting for like 3 mins.

Isla’s pisspoor speed going in the corner, and her pisspoor roll off of KLR’s tornado ddt. Shame.

Such a clean transition from a failed pinfall attempt into a submission by KLR, whew.

This whole match was just a flex by KLR lmao.

There was a time where we had Becky Lynch, Bayley, Rhea Ripley and KLR as our champions. Wow, take me back plz.

The background music of this stupid recording is so unnecessarily dramatic, wow.

All for the delivery of a chair. Of a fucking chair. Piper... shut up and handle your shit.

For someone so much larger than the little man, Piper is insanely unintimidating.

Highlight: I got to see KLR wrestle

---

Smackdown:

Bayley does run her mouth a lot. She’s kind of the EST at saying dumb shit that gets her into trouble lmao.

Bianca is so friggin good at interviews and in backstage segments. She hasn’t received much of a chance to do promos in the ring, let alone obviously to a live crowd, but I hope she shines there, too.

Has Liv reverted back to being a dumb blonde, or is it drugs? Stop letting her speak.

Love Riott Squad’s everchanging gear. Wonder who makes it for them.

Billie Kay claims that she’s a ‘seasoned’ ring announcer, and somehow that would not surprise me.

Tamina “get the fuck out of my face until I get a nap and a vat of coffee” Snuka, everyone.

Lmfaooo Tamina fucking chucked Liv across the damn ring. What a good job by Liv.

Ruby is exceptional at running the ropes. She gets a good spring off of it.

Tamina’s hair is always so beautiful, she gets points there.

Dropkick into a faceplant. Billie Kay gets pinned rofl. She’s so bad at wrestling and yet here I am ridiculously entertained.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Carmella’s current persona, but man I wish she’d come out in a cut off tank top, camo pants, high tops and a printed hat.

I mean people are at home cuz covid, but go off.

Aye putting over Sasha. Good heel Mella.

Sasha has held the title for like a whopping 2 months and we’re already marking calendars. Sad.

In kf, Sasha is kind of mentally weak, so I’ll give Mella that. I’m not sure what it’s gonna take to shake that perception, either.

“Who is Sasha Banks if she’s not the Boss? Who is Sasha Banks if she’s not the best? It’s sad because that’s a question that not even Sasha Banks knows the answer too.” So I get that wwe are trying to help Sasha develop and fight off her past demons, but man these women are ripping her a new one. Sasha’s only 29 so she can grow and develop however she wants, but jeeze. Salt, meet the dagger Bayley stuck in Sasha’s back.

I like Mella cuz she knows how to hype her opponent’s accolades and strengths while cutting an immaculate heel promo where she hits them RIGHT where it hurts. She’s a pro. Heels should take notes.

This music is like the Jazz Vibes playlist I always listen to.

She just called Sasha cheap and frantic lmaoooo

Oh damn Sasha be out here looking like MONEY. That girl has style, even if it doesn’t always hit with me, she got style.

oof the crack of that slap to Reggie.

OOF the crack of the bottle shattering over Sasha’s poor back. rip.

Match at TLC should’ve been a champagne match. That entails whatever your mind comes up with; pouring alcohol on your opponent, dumping their head in a bucket of ice, breaking bottles over spines. It don’t matter.

“You don’t see me going around here bragging about how damn good I am,” lmao WHAT. Bayley is equal parts delusional and obnoxiously annoying.

One size heel does not fit all, but I think her version suits her beautifully.

If I were her I’d pick your brain too, but I’d also want a match, cuz people leave matches with you looking as good as humanly possible. Equal parts selfless as well.

She didn’t lie, this was absolutely her putting Bianca on the map on the main roster.

wwe: wants to strap a rocket to Bianca and make her a star. Also fucking wwe: “lol no we’re not gonna show you her full entrance, cry more scrub.” 

Bayley still looks weird without a title.

Bayley mocks Bianca’s entrance and then gets swept onto the apron lmao. Idiot.

Bianca is a lot of flash and showboating, which is great from an entertainment standpoint, but she needs to do a little... less.

Fantastic snap of the hand against the led board. Bayley wrecking Bianca’s arm gonna hinder the flips.

“I’m the ER. I’m BET-TER. haha.” lmao Bayley is such a fucking dork. Got sent into the ring steps for her bravado. Love that there’s always immediate repercussions for Bayley’s arrogance.

Bayley turned midway going down onto Bianca’s knee for that backbreaker, there. Hope she doesn’t have a massive bruise. Looked like it’d leave a massive bruise.

3 things I’ll apparently never get to see again: Bianca’s hair whip, Bianca’s full entrance, and Bianca’s 450 splash. I’m tired.

These stupid fucking squats while Bianca is dangling off the top rope rofl I swear Bayley is something else. Girl knows how to entertain. “Bayley got a bit cute and Bianca made her pay,” story of Bayley’s life.

Beautiful spinebuster by Bianca. At least SOMEONE in the women’s division will use it.

Bit of a miscommunication there it seems. Bayley goes for a B2B, Bianca tries to block it, Bayley drops down to dodge and go for a cradle. She rolls Bianca all the way back, stands up and hesitates before running at Bianca with an elbow - even though Bianca is not in position to receive it - which Bianca counters by rolling Bayley up, but it was super obvious Bianca was just scouting the next spot. Bianca goes to pick her up for a powerbomb but Bayley has to kick out twice to prevent herself from being pinned while Bianca tries to lift her. That entire sequence was super messy.

Then Bianca nearly drops her lifting her all the way up lol. Yikes. Gotta be pretty fluent to pull that off. Not to plug my fav (but I’m totally gonna plug my fav); it’s a move Charlotte does in almost every match against Asuka or Becky, and you gotta be not only built to pull it off, but you need to have impeccable timing to make the transition look smooth. Extra points if you lift them off the mat RIGHT before a 3 (which Charlotte usually does)

Anyway, good match with a messy last 2 sequences. Bayley did what Bayley does best.

Highlight: Bayley vs Bianca

---

TLC:

They really took Eva Marie and Sasha Banks’ characters and meshed them together while keeping Carmella’s obsession for animal print lol.

Really don’t like that gear. That’s a miss, Mikaze.

Beautiful arm drag. Sasha taking the idea of wrestling like a Lucha more seriously? Cuz she should, ain’t nobody else in the MR doing it.

Commentators say the trash talk is continuing, I say Sasha is quietly leading this match with a grimace. Peeped that “hit me”.

Carmella goes to suicide dive through the ropes just for Reggie to catch her, cept she got caught up and started turning in midair. Would’ve hit her neck and shoulder HARD had he not been there. Great catch indeed.

Sasha “rip my back” Banks.

Not to be douchey, but if you have to adjust your gear in the middle of a match and it’s not just to fill time or be used as character work, then you need to redesign your gear.

Sasha’s a great babyface once that bell rings man. I wish she could carry that energy everywhere.

Holy fuck that facebuster. SPIKED her head, oh my god. I have never seen anyone make a facebuster look so impactful. Points if intentional.

Oh the timing of Sasha blocking that superkick from legit connecting. God she’s good.

You know how I know this is a good match? I’m watching some of these near pinfalls and submissions knowing damn well Sasha’s gonna win, yet my anxiety is still spiking thinking Carmella might walk out with the title. I KNOW she doesn’t though lmao. Good sequences, believable offense, great near pinfalls. They work well together (I’m not surprised, Mella and Sasha both work well with almost anyone)

What a fantastic transition into the bank statement. Points.

That match should’ve ended by dq the second Reggie pulled Mella out. 

Sasha could’ve sold that double superkick pinfall attempt a little bit more.

Carmella having a breakdown. What does that mean? That means she’s about to lose this match lmao. There it is, not even 10 seconds later hahaha.

Sasha sells pain so damn well. Good for her. Good defense of her title. Points to Sasha, she’s phenomenal every time she has an actual match. Post-match and she’s already annoyed me though lol. Ugh. Maybe she’ll get it soon enough.

Nice “replay” wwe. Billion dollar company btw.

Billie, drawing a horizontal line is not how you write ‘clairvoyant’. 

“proficient in Japanese” aw Asuka was so excited for a split second lmao.

Oh no, she made a mask to match Asuka’s with a paper plate. Oh no no no. Travesty. 

Ugh I’m so excited. I’ve already seen this and yet I’m excited. Here we are, the whole damn reason I started catching up on everything I basically refused to watch since June 22.

SHE LOOKS LIKE MONEY, WHEW. The queen IS back. She’s so fucking beautiful man.

Love how annoyed Nia looks. This is your comeuppance tbh. Could’ve just faced a measly Lana, but no, you had to play too much.

Really Charlotte shouldn’t be in the tag division, and really she shouldn’t give half of a fuck about Asuka, but we’ll get to that more in the future since this is already nearly 2 months old.

Nia’s doing a great job selling Charlotte’s return, and she’s not even active in the match rn. She does good work.

Bad camera angle on Asuka hitting the ring post.

Asuka getting wrecked lol.

I really despise that the Raw women’s championship was tied up in all of these storylines that have nothing to do with the Raw women’s championship. The Lana crap, the Charlotte crap, the tag teaming in general crap.

In hindsight, I now find it curious that Ric Flair was in the back for this match. Very curious. I swear, if the past 2 real time months weren’t a part of some master plan the Flairs came up with together, I will be SHOCKED.

Charlotte’s fucking crazy for doing those moonsaults to the outside though, for real. I know she was a gymnast and an exceptional cheerleader, but MAN you could not pay me to do fucking blind back flips that high up. Crazy.

She should’ve given us a spear in this match. I wanna go rewatch her work just to see some spears.

Good match. They needed to not focus on destroying Asuka for as long as they did, pacing was off for a little bit there.

Love how Charlotte sticks her tongue out when she bridges up into the figure 8. She’s such an asshole lmao.

If I could’ve changed one thing about that finish, I would’ve had Charlotte bounce off the ropes before hitting Natural Selection. Other than that, it was great.

Charlotte looks good with a title, idk *shrug*

The way Charlotte looked over at Asuka though. I really don’t trust her in hindsight lol.

Like how this Firefly Funhouse is setting the spotlight on Alexa before Bray takes his leave of absence, only wish she hadn’t missed 2-3 wks of tv.

What a fun way of running a video package.

Inferno matches are insane and I’m not sure why anyone would participate in such.

Think it’s smart they’re both leaving their jackets on tbh.

Alright that was cool. The way Fiend called up the flames was fucking cool. It looks amazing aesthetically. They could’ve never done the set quite like this if there had been fans.

WE HAVE STRAPS?! IS FIRE NOT ENOUGH?!? Man. Randy is a fucking trooper.

Guys. Guys excuse me, that strap is on fire, can... can we not, please??

Man is swinging a god damn pick axe at Randy Orton, I--

I hope that wasn’t actually flammable liquid cuz otherwise Randy is now soaked in it, and that’s insanely dangerous. Oh that’s great editing. So it was flammable, but Randy was out of the chair before the fire rushed at him. Also covered the chair in blood. That was cool.

Orton just pull the damn string out of the jacket real quick lol.

Caught Orton’s attempt at an rko with a mandable claw. Points.

Can someone... put him out? Editing trick? Were the flames real? Am I real??

Shouldn’t the bell ring? Match is over, right??

The dummy was kind of obvious ngl. Not to sound like an asshole, but they should’ve made it a bit thicker and more solid lol. Doesn’t really take me out of it though, cuz even though I’m sure it was a stunt double that got lit on fire by the ramp, someone was on fucking fire, and that’s intimidating in itself.

Also the dummy is melting. I’d say they should’ve used pig meat, but I’m sure vegans and animal rights activists would’ve had a field day writing to Snickers about that.

Was a good match, for what it was. I was entertained.

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

“Nasty Nikki” lol okay.

“The only reason people even know you exist is because you were Alexa Bliss’ best friend,” ouch. Truth is pain.

Ahahahah Lacey has hand sanitizer again. 

Love that submission Lacey jumped into through the ropes, plus an eye rake. Fantastic.

That’s curious. Lacey and Peyton are arguing over the hand sanitizer as Lacey wants to squirt it on Nikki, while Peyton is claiming it’ll get her DQd. Now I’m on Peyton’s side in the sense that it should absolutely be illegal, but Lacey’s done it in a match against Nikki before, sooo ???

I like how Nikki fell trying to get back into the ring before the 10 count. Adds credibility.

Haha Nikki gets the pinfall over Lacey because Peyton was being a nuisance on the outside. Lacey big mad. That’s great.

---

*Smackdown easily shined the brightest in what was a great week of wrestling. Utilized 8 women in 3 different storylines, couldn’t possibly complain about that.

[lightskinrry]

Dance.

the one where the date sucks and dancing is a good coping mechanism but you’re still a dumbass (part two of Pivot)

A/N: Part two of Pivot!!! Thanks for the love!! I hope you enjoy this shit!!!

Word Count: 4.1k

TW: fluff….. like if you thought Pivot was cute…. This is going to kill you

thank you Sierra @belladonna-styles for supporting my shit and making my english decent!!!

Read Part One!

London grew fast on you. Bexley didn’t seem like such a hellhole after a few months and your apartment didn’t feel like the worst decision you’ve ever made anymore. You finally got enough money to furnish the place and even had a little extra for a new book. Of course by furniture, you meant; an Ikea table, a second hand sofa, Harry’s mattress, two shelves that you filled with books and records and a green plant that was going to die by the end of the month if you didn’t give her the attention she deserved. She was quite like you actually; about to die if she didn’t get attention. You called her Bob, it seemed to fit her quite well.

You started working in a fancy restaurant in Kensington. It was hard work for not such a good pay but the neighborhood was lovely and on your tube ride back home, old little ladies would give you candies and sex advise you definitely didn’t need but also didn’t refuse. Working in Kensington did teach you something; rich people are skinflint. You probably never saw a good tip-bill ratio. They would pay hundreds of pounds for their meals and leave a £5 tip… Ridiculous. But you had to go with it, and try not to murder anybody that would treat you like crap despite your kindness and helpfulness.

The only good things that came out from working there, other than the candies was the free meals and the cute waiter at the bar. You plucked up enough courage to ask him out last night and he accepted. Proposing you a date on Friday night. You were so looking forward to this date; not only because he had beautiful brown eyes, large hands and smelled good but because it’s been ages since you had an actual date. You broke up with your girlfriend two months before you moved to London. You were together for so long you thought she would be the one. Your one and only. But it turned out that she had another one in mind and you were never her only. Part of you hated her and the other part hated yourself. It was her fault everything went wrong, but also perhaps you were never good enough for her?

If you always had good self-esteem and sometimes you were overly confident, getting cheated on by your partner of 2 years did shatter your ego like crazy. So dating was more of putting on a performance for you than actually trying to know someone. But you felt different about this one, who knows what it could bring? You were eager to find out.

Regarding your weird craving to kiss Harry the night of your moving in, you realized you just needed to show him more affection and you didn’t know how. You spent days together after he helped you move in and the ‘i want to kiss him’ thing didn’t surface again. You brushed it off and didn’t overthink it. He left a month later your move in and got back in London last night. You couldn’t wait to get caught up on what happened in LA and even if he wanted the album to be a surprise, you knew he was throwing hints in every conversation. So you’d spend hours listening to him talk about it, hanging on every word he’d say, bathing in his stories, just giving him your full attention because that’s what he deserved. And you just loved listening to him.

Friday night came sooner than you expected. You spent your afternoon pampering yourself, trying on clothes and watching Buzzfeed Unsolved because your upcoming date (and what you hoped would be your upcoming boyfriend) mentioned once that he liked the show. You knew you didn’t have to go all the way but you wanted the date to be perfect. Harry told you that being yourself was the best way to go and he was right, there was nothing not to love about yourself. But a little extra wouldn’t hurt.

You hesitated between pants and dress for hours. But finally set your mind on a mid-thigh golden silk dress that complimented your figure just right. After all, he invited you to a lovely restaurant in Soho, you had to put on something worth the ride. Harry texted you a good luck text filled with compliments and his usual “All the love.” You were ready for your date now and was just as nervous as excited.

You rode the tube all the way to Soho and walked to the restaurant. He told you he’d be there by 8pm and you were a little ahead so you went inside and sat at the bar. You ordered grenadine, not wanting to consume alcohol before his arrival. Your phone vibrated in your purse and you checked it to find a message from Harry telling you to call him if the guy’s a creep. You smiled at the sight of his protective behaviour. It was still good to know that he had your back, in case.

After your second grenadine, you started feeling anxious. It was already 8:30 and no one showed up. You didn’t even receive a “sorry I’ll be late” text.

It was now the third waiter you sent away after he asked you if you were to get a table. It was past 9 now and you had no hope anyone would show up. You swallowed the lump in your throat, trying not to cry for something as stupid as being stood up. But it hurt. It just did. Why would he stand you up? You thought he was interested? He didn’t even text you to cancel or postpone. What a dick. You grabbed your purse and went out of the restaurant in a hurry. You stood outside for a minute, taking long breaths; trying not to let the tears fall out on your face. It would ruin your makeup.

You started walking fast to the subway, not wanting to spend another minute out. You ran into someone and apologized when your phone vibrated inside of your hand. You inhaled deeply before looking at it, expecting a message from the jerk who stood you up tonight. You opened your phone and found a text from Harry.

Bambi sent a message

How’s it going?

You felt the tears grow inside of your eyes at the sight of the message and you didn’t want to alarm Harry. You just typed in that everything was okay. Next thing you knew another text popped in.

Really? Why you’re on your phone, then?

You could almost hear his cheeky tone through text. He knew you well. You didn’t want to lie to him, and what else would you do anyway? So you just answered quickly before putting your phone away.

Got stood up.

You walked a few more minutes before you heard your phone ring inside of your purse. You picked it up and answered but before you could say anything, the person at the other end spoke.

“Where are you? I’m picking you up.”

“Harry… There’s really no need to…”

He cut you off. “It’s cool, I’m already in my car. I’m picking you up.”

You sighed through the phone. “You really don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to. That’s why I’m calling you.”

You smiled at his answer. “I’m in Soho. Next to Oxford Circus station.”

“I’ll be there in ten. You can walk up to Piccadilly so we meet up there?”

You took a look around, checking what way Piccadilly was. “Sure. Call me when you’re there.”

“See you in 10, Milkie.”

He hung up and you started walking. The other station was just a few miles away so you walked slowly, taking the time to clear your mind and get rid of the negative energy. You didn’t want to project negativity and especially not to Harry. You met him almost three years ago now and you grew so fond of him. He was always there for you and the last thing you wanted to do was to pressure him with unnecessary emotional labor.

You arrived at the station and within a few minutes Harry texted you. You saw his car down the road and walked fast to it. You opened the door and jumped in. He smiled at you and you went to kiss his cheek to greet him.

“Seatbelts on.”

You grinned and put on your seatbelt while he started driving. He stopped the car a few miles down where he could park easily.

“So… What do you want to do?”

You asked as you watched him squeeze in his seat to turn around and face you.

“How about I take you out to a nice place and we get pissed drunk?”

You chuckled at his proposition. It did sound appealing.

“That sounds good to me, Bambi.”

He smugly shrugged and started the car. “Then let’s go.”

He drove for a few minutes and in the meantime you took his phone to go through his spotify playlist and play some music. He parked in an underground parking before getting out of the car, he went to your side to open your door. He reached out his hand to help you get out of the car. You gently grabbed it and carefully stepped out. He closed the door and took a minute to look at you.

“Wow. You look incredible, Milkie.”

Your cheeks burned as his glistening gaze went all over you. You smiled shyly and whimpered. “Stop, Harry.”

He smirked down at you. “Alright, I’ll stop but this dress fits you wonderfully.”

You looked down at yourself and smiled. When your eyes met his, he just tilted his head to the side to make you understand he meant it. You rolled your eyes at him before smiling to yourself. Harry complimenting you was always a huge ego boost and you needed that tonight.

You walked next to him and he placed his arm around your shoulders.

“So Milkie, any idea where we going?”

Harry always knew about nice underground parties where there was good music, fun people and nobody to bother him. You shook your head no and kept walking. You just knew it was going to be good. And even if it sucked, Harry was there and it couldn’t be better than with him.

***

The party was going rather well. After a few shots, a lot of dancing and laughing, you went to sit next to Harry; who was sipping on a Gin Fizz and talking with a woman that you guessed was Alexa but you couldn’t quite tell in the dark.

You dropped your ass on the couch next to him and he placed his arm around your shoulder as an instinctive move. Alexa giggled at something Harry said, before addressing the two of you.

“I didn’t know it got serious between you two!”

You looked at her confused and then gazed at Harry. In the moment where you and him looked at each other, the realization of what she meant struck you, and you and Harry started laughing.

You shook your head at Alexa. “Oh no! No! We’re not…”

You looked at him and giggled a last time as he took a sip of his beverage. Alexa apologized for assuming you two were together. It wasn’t the first time someone made a comment about how cute you two would be. You were quite physically close because both of you were touchy-feely and affectionate. It was like the nicknames, just a way of showing affection. It was a tender friendship.

Alexa got up to get some drinks asking you if you wanted anything. You politely declined as you already had a Malibu waiting for you that Harry ordered. You grabbed your glass and tried finding the straw with your mouth. As Alexa left, another woman and what seemed to be her partner took her place. Harry greeted them and you did too.

You watched the conversation flow between the couple and Harry, and your head fell back on his shoulder as you were carefully listening to him, taking a sip of your drink from time to time. Harry’s arm was still around your shoulders and your hand was resting on his thigh. Just casual touch that still got you some side-eye by the couple. A strand of hair fell on your face but you were too lazy to pick it up. It’s when Harry took a look at you that his hand reached your face to brush the strand away, his fingertips gently stroking your skin in the moment.

“So how long have you been together? You two are a really cute couple!”

The woman’s voice resounded above the music and the other girl next to her added a word too.

“Looks fresh to me!”

Harry chuckled at the comments and placed his glass on the table before answering.

“We’re just friends.”

It didn’t seem to make him uncomfortable; he actually tightened his embrace. It didn’t make you uncomfortable either but it was fun to see that most people associate casual affection with romance. It was just a good form of intimacy between the two of you. Just like talking about your insecurities in the dark. Or singing I Will Survive at the top of your lungs in the car. You and Harry were just very comfortable together.

The two women brushed the conversation off and started talking about something else. You finally decided to get up, one of your favorite song was playing and even if you were tired, you were also tipsy enough. You pulled on Harry’s hand.

“Dance with me.”

He shook his head no and you pleaded before letting go. You walked to the dancefloor and started moving. Your eyes never leaving Harry, begging him to come dance with you from afar. He finally gave in and walked up to you. You started dancing together, shaking your hair, and throwing your hands in the air. Sometimes your hands would fall back on his chest or you would turn around and he’d place his hands on your waist. You were dancing eyes closed, moving against Harry, your back against his chest, not minding anything around you at all. The voice of the girl next to you brought you back to reality.

“You two look so hot together!”

You felt Harry laugh against you. “Yeah. We do. Thanks.”

His answer left you confused for a second but you chose to play with it. “I’m the one who makes it hot!”

The girl snickered at your comment before asking, “How long you’ve been together?”

The music was so loud you didn’t quite get her question but you heard Harry answer, “A few months!”

You turned to face him and met his usual smirk plastered on his face. The girl tapped on your arm. “I hope this is going to last!” She kept dancing and faded in the crowd.

“A few months?” You asked as you raised your eyebrows at Harry.

“Yeah. ‘Was going for years but then I figured out it wouldn’t be plausible.”

You chuckled and shook your head at him. “Glad to know we’re dating.”

“What kind of couple are we?” He laughed as he grabbed your hand to take you out of the dancefloor. You two taking your seats back.

“I think we’d be the annoying type.”

He pinched his lips in reflection and shrugged. “Most likely.”

“We’d be annoying and kinky.” You giggled as you faked a claw at him.

“Oh most definitely. The kinkiest, Milkie.” He winked at you before calling a waiter and ordering a few more drinks.

The joke lasted throughout the evening, whether it be some random person telling you, you were cute together or a douchebag trying to flirt with you; you were his girlfriend tonight. It left a weird impression on you. It felt nice. You’d even say, it felt right. It was just this natural feeling that the way he held you, the way he touched you made you feel like he was yours.

The party started fading away when you asked him to leave. You started feeling tired and sore and a little bit too tipsy. He agreed and you left the party. You walked in the dark for a moment, arm in arm, laughing. You were reminiscing about the first time you met, when you laughed so hard that milk went out of your nose. And that time he fell in the kitchen while trying to show you his best dance move. Just sharing memories of the past years you spent together.

You were starting to lose sight of the busy street in which the party was going on. It was darker and darker and you two were alone in a street you didn’t know.

“I think we’re lost.” You laughed as you tottered. And Harry snickered too, almost stumbling over you.

“I guess we are…”

You shook your head at him in a giggle and grabbed his arm under yours. You kept walking in the dark, talking and laughing. You walked for what seemed to be hours. He finally decided on calling a Uber, seeing you carrying your shoes in your hands and begging him to carry you on his back.

“The Uber will be here in ten.”

You sighed relieved and he picked you up to put you on his back. You walked to the side of the road where Harry told the driver to meet him. The Uber didn’t take long to arrive and both of you jumped inside of the car.

“Get the car from the parking tomorrow.”

Harry’s voice resonated in the car. He was talking to his phone, putting a reminder for him to get his car tomorrow as he was too inebriated now to drive. You laughed at his over-organized ass and let your head fall on his shoulder. After a quite long and silent car ride, the Uber dropped you both in front of your residence.

You opened the door and walked the stairs, holding on each other for some balance, laughing softly and shushing each other when one of you would make too much noise. You missed the last step again, making Harry fall with you. Hopefully nothing too bad but you two had a laughter in the stairs. Both of you sitting on your asses in weird positions, screeching softly, trying not to wake up the neighbors.

You finally got inside of the apartment and closed the door behind you. Harry let his body fall on the couch and grabbed your hand to pull you close to him; making you fall by his side. He wrapped his arms around you and nuzzled his head in your hair.

“I had fun tonight.” He mumbled as he placed a kiss on top of your head.

“Me too.” You beamed at him.

The moonlight was shining through the windows and the shadows of your furniture was dancing on the ground.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Bambi.” You looked up at Harry with a soft smile on your face.

“Always, Milkie.” He booped your nose tenderly and his eyes shifted to the ceiling.

“I’m such a mess, you know. I’m glad you’re here.”

You felt like you needed to let him know how good of a friend he was. But it seemed like it was gonna be one of your rambling about how being steady was hard for you.

“You’re a bit of a mess.” He giggled before turning his face over you. “But you’re truly one of a kind, Y/N.”

You chortled a little bit before letting your head fall down on his shoulder. You strangely remembered now that you’ve been stood up earlier. You felt a pinch in your heart. You truly hoped something good would come out from this date.

“I guess you’re the only one to see it, Bambi.” You giggled but it wasn’t genuine, it was a hurting laugh.

Harry looked at you in the eyes. “He’s a jerk.”

You looked over at him. “Maybe it’s something about me…”

He grabbed your chin firmly but with a gentle touch. “Listen, you have to be bloody dumb to stand someone like you up.” His gaze intensified, you could see his eyes get darker. “It’s nothing about you. If there’s one thing about you is that you’re bloody incredible.”

You felt your heart beat faster and your eyes were glistening. You reached your hands to his face and cupped his face tenderly.

“You are the most incredible.” You started tearing up; the alcohol, the fucked up date and Harry’s tenderness didn’t seem to be a good mix. It just made you emotional. “And I hope you’re right about me; otherwise I clearly don’t deserve a friend like you.”

He smiled and kissed your fingertips. He brought his face closer to yours and whispered, “Dance with me.”

You looked confused and tried wiping away the little tear at the corner of your eye.

“Dance with me.” He repeated himself, his gaze getting more bright.

“There’s no music, Harry.”

He larked about your comment. “I know. Do you remember that time I was upset about something about the album and you said you can always dance your worries away?”

You nodded, remembering the time he mentioned.

“And you made me dance to that Britney song so that I’d stop worrying?”

You raised your eyebrows at him, a smile glued on your lips. He got up and reached out his hand.

“I’m doing the same for you. Dance with me.”

You shook your head in a laugh and grabbed his hand. He pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around you. Your face was buried in his chest and his cheek was resting on the top of your head. You swayed in the middle of the apartment, a little less empty than the last time, no music on, the moonlight shining on you, your shadows dancing on the floor. The only sounds filling the space being your breaths, and sometimes a giggle as one of you would make a weird move.

You were glued to him, bathing in his embrace, feeding on his warmth. His cologne filling your lungs, his arms tightening around you, the softness of his silk shirt brushing against your cheek. He felt just like home. You loved him so much. He was your best friend. Sometimes you’d wish he’d stay there forever.

You looked up at him, catching his gaze upon you.

“Why are you so good to me?” Your voice was soft and when the whisper reached his ears, he smiled tenderly.

“You’re my best friend, Milkie.”

Instead of warming your heart the way it should have, his answer hurt. It was like a sting of reality. Like you were slapped back into the realm of existence where you were only his friend. And it hurt. You wished it didn’t. But it did. What even did that mean?

He was your friend. Your best friend. It was only the truth. You should not feel this way about his words. Maybe it was the alcohol… Or perhaps, you needed more than a best friend right now.

When your eyes met his, his tender smile faded away. He looked worried.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

You sniffed before bringing your hands to your face to cover it. You didn’t realized that a few tears streamed down your cheeks.

“Yes, everything’s okay.” You cleaned your face with the back of your hand and got out of his embrace. You offered him a big smile.

“See... That’s the reason, I shouldn’t be drinking, Bambi.”

A nervous laugh fell from your lips as you watched Harry’s worry turn into confusion. He saw you way more drunk than that and still he never saw you cry because of it.

“I’m just emotional, tonight, Bambi. It’s okay, I swear.”

He stepped closer to you and cupped your face with his hands. “Sure?”

You nodded and he kissed your forehead. “Let’s put you to bed, then. You need some rest, Milkie.”

You definitely needed some rest because tonight felt like a revelation to you, and you truly hated it. If it wasn’t for the dance, you wouldn’t be asking yourself why being Harry’s friend wasn’t enough.

[wwesmutdonedirtcheap]

Social Media Showdown

After we all saw Tyler’s Snaps the last few days…This had to be written.

Summary: You’re Tyler’s girlfriend and you find the girls backstage swooning over Tyler’s rather risqué posts. You decide to extract some revenge which leads to a heated (and sexy) showdown with Tyler.

Tag Squad: Seriously, I’m trying guys. I’m going to gather up a list of all the people who I know follow my stories consistently and create a new tag list, plus add those of you who have recently asked to be tagged. I have absolutely NO clue what’s going on with the tags but when I have the time, I promise to get a proper tag list together and try it all again! Any new tips would be greatly appreciated. I don’t want to have to retype the list every single time, but copying it seems to not be working at all.

*

“Oh my god,” Alexa practically whistled through her teeth when I rounded the corner to the makeup room.

“Look at those thighs,” Sasha laughed, leaning over the back of the chair to get  a better view of the cellphone clutched in Alexa’s hand.

I was supposed to do Alexa’s makeup in five minutes, so whoever she was drooling over this week would have to wait.

“Hey girls,” I announced myself, wrapping my brush apron around my waist.

Alexa quickly locked the screen and dropped her phone in her lap. Sasha took the opportunity to slide out of the room, after casting me a quick but guilty smile.

“What’s up?” I watched her leave as I opened an eyeliner pot on the counter.

“Nothing,” Alexa replied nervously “Absolutely nothing…Just this guy on Tinder, no big deal.

"You’re looking for dates on Tinder?” I raised an eyebrow, as she tilted her head back for her smoky eye to start taking shape.

“Mhm,” she mumbled, shifting nervously in her seat.

“Sit still, you want the liner to your ear,” I laughed, trying to hold her cheek steady with my hand as I propped it there.

She managed a giggle but it was one of those forced, nervous ones.

“So I take it you found a contender,” I smirked, dipping the brush back into the dark black liner.

“It was just some guy,” she sighed “Nobody important.”

“Oh my god, did you see…” Bayley burst through the door and then stopped the minute her eyes landed on me.

She too, was clutching her phone.

Alexa sat up, liner sliding across her cheek and Bayley immediately dropped her eyes to the ground.

“What’s going on?” I looked back and forth between them “What are you keeping from me, Alexa?”

“It’s nothing,” she tried to protest, as I walked directly over to Bayley and grabbed the phone from her hand.

“It’s, it’s not as bad as it looks,” Bayley sighed “I’m sure that he just wanted to show off his progress, you know how proud he is of being vegan and gaining muscle and…”

I stared at her phone. Tyler’s SnapChat had not one, but two pictures of him in his underwear. His pants pulled to his ankles, one hand barely covering most of his underwear clad crotch.

My boyfriend. My boyfriend of six months. He was posting pictures of himself more than half naked for the entire world to see. Including, the girls backstage who had as easy access to him as I did.

“It’s not big deal, girl,” Alexa stood up, her finger swiping at the makeup on her cheek “Guys do this all the time. They get all conceited about their bodies and think they have to show off and…”

“He’s in his fucking underwear, Alexa!” I turned to her “And you two were in here drooling all over him.”

“I would never, ever, do anything to try to get between you guys,” Alexa shook her head quickly.

“Yeah, you guys are so perfect together,” Bayley placed her hand carefully on my shoulder “Tyler loves you.”

“Well, clearly he doesn’t respect me enough not to post things like this all over social media!” I snapped at her and she flinched away.

Just then Monica, another artist, came through the door. I ripped my apron off my waist and handed it to her.

“Do Alexa’s makeup,” I instructed her, since I was the one in charge “I have something I have to take care of. Now.”

“Don’t be too hard on him,” Bayley sighed, as I handed her phone back “He’s just proud…”

“Bayley,” I turned to her “I get that you’re trying to help here…But don’t, ok?”

She nodded, as I stormed out and down the hallway.

I practically ran head on into Charlotte just a few steps later. My cheeks felt flushed bright red and I was fighting the urge to cry.

Her eyes grew wide immediately and I realized that just like everybody else, she knew.

“Girl,” she sighed, holding my shoulders between her hands “I know you’re pissed and believe me, I’d be just as mad as you.”

“Does everyone know?” I yelped, a sob trying its best to creep up my throat.

“Have you talked to him?”

“No.”

“You wanna get mad…or get even?”

“Even?” I shook my head in confusion.

“Yeah, even,” Charlotte laughed “You need some new pictures for your portfolio and Instagram page, right?”

I nodded slowly, feeling a tear slip down my cheek.

She reached out with her thumb and rubbed it away.

“Then, let’s get even. I have an off night, we’ve got all the time we need.”

*

Charlotte was actually very good at makeup herself and between the two of us, we had me all dolled up in no time.

Dark smoky eyes, contoured cheek bones, soft pink lips, my hair in waves around my face and just enough blush across the apples of my cheeks.

Char had dug through her ring gear and found what basically looked like a bra and panty set. It was black, tight fitting on me since I was little more curvier than her.

“Perfect,” Charlotte smiled as she stood back to look at me “If this doesn’t get the guys around here talking, nothing will.”

“You sure about this Char?” I sighed “I mean, I wanna piss him off but…”

“It’s harmless,” she shrugged “You need new pictures anyway. You’re not having to hold your hand over you crotch to hide what you got.”

Over the next thirty minutes, Charlotte became photographer to a bevy of Instagram photos and SnapChats of me posing.

I should have felt guilty. Some of the poses were rather seductive, while others were more fun. Every time I decided I shouldn’t do it, I remembered Tyler’s pictures and I kept on going.

We sat down afterwards, going through the best ones for Instagram. I took a few of the makeup job I did on Charlotte to balance out the latest additions and then we waited.

Before long, likes and comments began appearing on my pictures. Rollins, Enzo, Finn, even Pete were going through them and liking them all.

“See,” Charlotte held up her phone with a smirk “Now, let’s see how he likes it.”

*

“What in tha bloody hell is this shit?” Tyler breathed into the phone when I answered a few hours later.

He was doing a show in Florida and we were in Texas.

“What?” I asked innocently, as I waited to do touchups backstage.

“Your arse is hangin’ out in half the photos ya just put up on your Instagram,” he growled into the phone.

“That’s funny,” I laughed angrily “I could say the same for your dick peeking out around your hand on your SnapChat today.”

“So that’s it?” he snarled “Ya did this ta spite me?”

“I needed new pictures,” I insisted “I just decided now was a good a time as any, that’s all.”

“When I get ma hands on you,” he sighed and I could tell he was pacing.

“You’ll what?” I heard my voice turn far more raspy.

“You’ll pay for this,” he growled before hanging up.

*

That night, Tyler was due to fly in to be at a Smackdown taping in San Antonio.

I had already moved into our hotel room for the night and was rummaging through my bag for makeup remover when I heard a key inserted into the lock.

Here we go. Social Media Showdown.

I was ready.

Tyler came trudging in, pulling his suitcase behind him and slid it against the wall. His eyes looked sleepy, his hair all mussed up. He had on a white t-shirt and low hung grey sweat pants, which he always wore to travel.

“Hey,” I managed to say, as I continued to look in my huge makeup bag.

“Hey ya self,” he huffed, tossing his jacket on top of his things.

I finally found the remover and headed for the bathroom, but he stepped in front of me and blocked my path.

“Take down those pictures,” he whispered, in a deep throaty voice “That isn’t a request eitha’.”

“So you’re demanding me?” I laughed “After half the world has seen you practically naked?”

“I’m not the one with my ass hangin’ out in half the shots!” his voice rose angrily.

“No, your dick was just practically hanging out!” I shrieked, my hands pressing against his taunt chest.

“I wasn’t tryin’ ta look at all sexy or whateva’,” he took hold of my hands “On the otha’ hand, you meant every, single, thing ya did in those pictures.”

“How does it feel to know other people saw me like that? Saw my body like that,” I pressed myself against him and he looked down at me with his eyes on fire.

“Take. Them. Down.”

I jerked my hand away and grabbed my phone. Tossing it to him, I went into the bathroom to change.

I heard him feverishly cursing and deleting pictures as I changed into my nightgown but decided to keep my make up on.

“Fuckin�� shit,” I heard him groan when I entered the room.

He was siting on the bed, staring at the phone intently.

“What?”

I crawled up beside him to see him looking at a particularly good photo of me. I was on my knees on a sofa, looking over my shoulder as my ass peeked out of my shorts.

“You like that one?” I whispered against his ear.

“Ya shouldn’t be showin’ this ta tha whole god damn world,” he grumbled.

“Who should I be showing it to?”

My lips went to the side of his neck, kissing a trail up to his ear.

“You’re tryin’ to change tha subject!” he stood up “I’m fuckin’ pissed!”

“Well, how do you think I felt with your pants around your ankles and the whole women’s locker room gawking over you?”

I stood up and stared him down. I could be just as angry as he was and I had plenty of ammunition to back it up.

“So, you’re pissed at me?” he moved closer, his hands drawing me toward him by my waist “You’re pissed cause I showed how much fuckin’ work I’ve done ta ma body. That pisses you off?”

“Yes!” When you’re showing it to everybody else,“ I groaned, my hand sliding down to grip his muscular thigh ”This is mine.“

"Is that so?” he ran his tongue over his lips “I belong ta ya, do I?”

“Do you?” I growled, my fingers digging into his leg.

“Do ya belong ta me? Will ya keep that sexy lil body for ma eyes only?”

“Can you keep your fuckin’ pants up?” I pulled away from him.

“Not when I’m around you,” he grabbed my arm and pulled me against him, hard.

HIs lips bit at mine, drawing them against his, his rough beard scraping my cheeks. My hands went into his hair, tugging on it.

“Admit it though,” I gasped when our mouths parted “Those pictures turned you on.”

“Yeah, I’ll admit it,” his warm mouth pressed tightly against my ear “I neva wanted ta fuck ya more in ma life.”

“My sweet baby,” I giggled, his lips trailing down my throat to my collarbone.

“Oh, I’m still ya baby,” he looked up at me “I just happen to also wanna fuck this horny lil pussy.”

His fingers slid up under my nightgown and into my underwear, causing me to moan into his chest.

“You’re horny for me ta touch ya,” he laughed.

“And you’re not?” I pushed his hand away and pulled his shirt over his head.

“They only get ta see pictures of me, love,” he traced his finger down the side of my face “Ya get me whenva ya want me.”

My hands slid down his muscular chest and my mouth went to kiss one of his pectorals. He groaned, as my tongue traced a path all over him.

“I want you every day,” I whispered against his warm skin, kissing a trail back up to his throat.

“Now you tell tha truth,” his hand tangled in my hair as our faces met again “Ya liked what ya saw in ma pictures too.”

I smirked and pulled on the drawstring to his pants. They fell to the floor and I pushed him toward the bed. He wiggled them off his feet and propped himself on the bed with his arms behind him.

“You mean, these thighs,” I whispered, my hand sliding across the muscles.

His breathing got more shallow as I slid my body to straddle over one of them.

“What are ya doin’ ta me?” he pushed my hair out of my eyes and brought his lips back against mine.

I moaned softly into his mouth before pushing him away, and slowly winding my body against his leg. He groaned when he realized what I was doing and a smile turned up on his lips.

“Ya gonna get off on ma leg?” he laughed, running his hand through his own messy hair.

“Damn right,” I bared down harder on him.

His fingers dug into my hips, through my nightgown, before finally lifting it over my head. His warm mouth sucked along the top of my chest as I ground even harder onto him.

Tyler pulled me closer, his lips trailing down to my bare breasts and his tongue licking around my nipples slowly.

“Shit,” I whimpered, as the sensations of his leg started to get more intense.

His hand slid down to rub against my clit and a laugh escaped his throat.

“Ya like that?” he pressed his forehead into mine “I guess, I’ll keep doin’ what I’m doin’ every day then…Gotta keep ya happy.”

I felt my breath catch in my throat as the sensations between my legs became to much and I slid my nails down his chest as my orgasm tore through me.

I moaned against his ear and he chuckled, his hands returning to my hips.

“My turn,” he winked, before pushing me off him and puling me onto my knees “I got ta stare at this perfect arse all the way here on tha plane.”

His hand lightly railed down on me and I groaned, digging my fingers into the mattress.

I heard him quickly pull off his underwear and his hand slid up between my legs, before moving back down and guiding mine off my hips.

“If ya eva post anotha picture of ya like that,” he growled, as he leaned down near the side of my face “I’m gonna punish ya.”

“Don’t tempt me,” I gasped, as I felt his dick pressing hard against me.

He rammed into me then, a groan escaping us both as I tightened around him.

“Can I punish you?” I whimpered, his thrusts immediately becoming more intense.

“I won’t do it again, love,” he growled.

His hand gripped my hair, tugging my face toward the ceiling. I immediately saw spots in front of my eyes.

Tyler’s free hand, slapped my ass again and he growled as he traced the curve of it with his fingers.

“Tyler,” I panted, the power behind his thrusts again.

“What is it, love?” he moved his hand around to massage my clit.

“Don’t stop,” I ordered breathlessly as his fingers rubbed me proficiently.

He laughed and I could only imagine the little grin on his face.

Finally, he slowed his thrusts, skin slapping sharply against mine and he groaned loudly.

“Cum wit me,” he jerked my head up against the side of his neck.

I let go and he released inside of me as I squealed loudly. His hand roamed up over my throat before he let me go.

Sliding out of me, he collapsed onto the bed and I crawled up over him, straddling his lap. I leaned down, kissing him deeply with his hand snaking through my hair at the nape of my neck.

When we parted, I ran my finger over his black eye and sighed.

“What did you do this time?”

“Match versus Dunne, nothin’ special,” he smirked “Kinda like it.”

“Me too,” I admitted, kissing it gently.

“I saved all tha pictures ta my phone,” he admitted, his hand stroking my hair.

I cast my gaze down with guilt and he laughed.

“Ya saved mine, didn’t ya?”

“Well, it’s hard to be apart,” I whined, running my hands over his chest.

“Not for much longa’, love,” he whispered “Show’s gonna start soon…Then we’ll be travelin’ togetha.”

“So I can have these thighs any time I want them,” I smirked.

“Ya can have it all,” he ran his hand down my cheek “Cause ya mean t'at much ta me.”

“Tyler Bate, are you saying you might love me?” I giggled.

“Yeah,” he nodded his head “I guess I am.”

[literatelobstersareliterate]

A Lexicographer’s Guide to Real Words | harm·less drudg·ery

A Lexicographer’s Guide to Real Words

One of the occupational hazards of being a lexicographer on social media is that you are often subjected to arguments about whether something is a word or not. Lexicographers see these complaints and swiftly scroll right on by them, though we do sometimes indulge in a judicious (and perfectly justified) subtweet. We’ve learned that arguing with people about whether something (usually “irregardless“) is a “real word” is a Sisyphean exercise in futility, and lexicographers get enough of that at work.

But that doesn’t help you, the person being hollered at on Twitter that “mines” isn’t a real word. Who better to tell you what a word actually is? So in the interest of settling all those arguments, forever (amen and amen), here is a short (senses 1 and 2) lexicographer’s guide to “real words.”

I think [insert reviled word here] isn’t a real word.

Let’s back up. Why do you think it’s not a real word? Because by a linguist’s definition, if it communicates meaning to an audience, then it’s “a real word.”

That’s ridiculously broad.

Oh gurl:

How do you communicate thoughts to an audience? You might communicate by uttering a string of phonetic sounds, making signs in a manual language, or writing a series of characters. Meaningful units of these sounds, signs, or written characters are often what we would consider to be words.

In short: if it’s part of a language system and communicates meaning, linguists consider it to be “a real word.”

But it’s illogical/ugly/stupid.

Just because you don’t like it doesn’t make it somehow “not real.” This is one of the more absurd notions that people have about language: that the mere dislike of a word invalidates its very existence. You’d never see that logic deployed effectively anywhere else in the real world. [Ed. note: The White House is not the real world.] I hate heat, for instance, and think temperatures above a very dry 80F can just nope right on out of here–but summer arrives every year, like clockwork, just to piss me off. Should my personal feelings about the power of the sun ruin everyone else’s beach vacation?

Besides, “illogical” and “stupid” rely on your knowledge base, and lemme tell ya, that’s smaller than you think. You may think that “inflammable” to mean “flammable” is illogical, because “in-” means “not,” but you would be wrong. “Inflammable” comes from the Latin inflammare, which means “to inflame” or “to burst into flame.” The “not” “in-” has nothing to do with it. “Inflammable” meant “flammable” before “flammable” meant “flammable”!

And even if a word is illogical or stupid, so what? You know how many completely unremarkable words arose from a stupid misreading? You use “cherry” and “apron” just fine, even though “cherry” came about because some 14th-century doofus thought the Anglo-French “cherise” was plural (it wasn’t), and “apron” came about because court clerk read “a napron” as “an apron” and rendered it as such, and then future readers thought, “Oh, man, the clerk to Edward III says it’s ‘apron,’ I better get in line,” even though that same clerk used “napron” later in the Household Ordinances, and here we are.

Language is not math. Language is people, and people are a mess. Yes, you too.

But this word is jargon, and jargon is meaningless, so it’s not a real word. Use words that actually mean something!

Jargon is, properly, the technical language of a particular group or activity. It can also refer to obscure and often pretentious language marked by circumlocutions–a definition that is pretty damned jargony. But not all jargon (sense 1) is jargon (sense 2). Hell–not all jargon (sense 1) is even all that technical! If you like a sport, have a job, go to school, have a hobby, or watch TV, then you know and use jargon. You can stream the Royal Wedding online while cabling an Aran sweater, checking the box scores for last night’s game and helping your kid figure out their math homework using manipulatives when the commercial breaks are on. Your whole life is marked by jargon of one sort or another, so stop getting your knickers in a knot over it.

But this supposedly real word isn’t in your/a/any dictionary!

It’s a common misconception that dictionaries enter every word in a language. This is a misconception started by dictionary companies who were desperate to outdo one another in sales and so made some dubious claims about how their dictionaries were “the sum of all human knowledge” and how, in dropping some bucks on one, you could “hold the English language in your two hands.”

There are many, many, many more words that do not make it into dictionaries than do, and this is the nature of the dictionary. If English is a swift moving river, then a dictionary is a cup of water scooped from that river: static, small, hopefully a good representative sample of that river, but not the river.

There are lots of reasons why a word might not be entered into a dictionary. First, what do we consider discrete words? Is the noun “compact” a different word than the verb “compact”? Are the different meanings of the noun “compact” different words? What if the different “compacts” come from different etymological sources? Is every inflection of a word a different word than the root? What about compound words like “slingshot”? Is that a different word from “sling” and “shot”? What about potential compound words, or potential inflections that we might not have now but we could at some point in the future (“mouses”), or potential affixal uses (“unfriend”)? What about words that no longer exist? What about initialisms and abbreviations? Are these all discrete words?

Incidentally, this goat rodeo is also why people who tell you that English has however many hundred-thousands words in it are full of bullshit (which can be one word or two words, depending on how you reckon).

Every professionally edited dictionary has criteria for entry–generally speaking, widespread use in printed prose for a sustained period of time–and many words never meet that criteria. Even good words! “Prepone,” a brilliant verb which means “to reschedule to an earlier time than originally scheduled” and is based on “postpone,” doesn’t yet meet the criteria for entry at Merriam-Webster, and it’s not only a clever coinage, but so frickin’ handy! Does away with the dumb confusion caused by “move back” and “move up” (“We’re moving the 10am meeting back to noon.” “So you’re moving it up to noon?” “No, we’re moving it back to noon.” “Was it originally at noon?” and then everyone sounds like a pathetic mashup of The Confederacy of the Dunces and “Who’s On First”). Everyone should use “prepone” in print, but not enough people do, and so it languishes in the database, noticed but not defined.

And there’s another sticking point. For a word to get into a dictionary, it needs to be found and tracked by lexicographers–and, to be frank, lexicographers are experiencing job creep as the industry shrinks. Gone are the halcyon days when a lexicographer had an hour or two daily to read and look for new words: now we’re busy writing and copyediting articles for the website, answering correspondence, running social media feeds, moderating comments on those feeds, brainstorming new products, doing media, writing editorial reports, proofing sales reports, coding for the database, troubleshooting the outdated data in the database…oh, and defining. Your sparkling, wonderful coinage, which you use constantly on Twitter and have, as I told you to do, used in letters to the editor or in editorials your town paper has printed…sorry I missed it. I was busy justifying my corporate existence with a click-positive article on the phrase “three sheets to the wind” in conjunction with an ad campaign we’re running with Budweiser.

The whole dictionary racket ignores the flashpoint where language is actually made: speech (or signing). Words are rarely born in print, but that’s all the lexicographers track. That means that all those words you use only in family conversations, or new words that are coined for one in-person interaction and never used again–those very real words–are lost to us. Until we hack Alexa to record everything you say and send it to our offices, that is. (j/k, lol)

Steve Kleinedler puts it best: “the English language changes too quickly and is too vast to be completely catalogued.”

Okay, let’s try this: how do I know when a word isn’t real?

Not to get all ontological and shit, but if it is a signifier of meaning used in the course of communication between people, it’s real. Even if it’s unintelligible to you! I don’t speak Polish, but I’m not going to say that Polish words aren’t real just because I don’t understand them.

You’re making me sound like a massive prick.

What’s the point, really, of declaring that a word isn’t real? It’s ultimately a show of power or superiority over someone else, and so, in that sense, it is the marker of an absolute unit of shittiness. I’ve made my feelings about correcting people’s speech known before, and this is just another variant of it. It centers someone else’s language in your own experience, and it’s ridiculous to think that yours is the default experience for everyone. Language is bigger than just one person! That’s a feature, not a bug!

So what am I supposed to do when I see a word that I think isn’t a real word but which you, a so-called professional, tells me is?

Ask about it! And if you can’t ask the person who uses it, ask a linguist, because they love it when people ask questions about things that they can actually research, instead of dumb questions like, “Oh, you’re a linguist, how many languages do you speak?”

Why do people use “mines”? There is a dictionary that will explain why–and it will also tell you about “hern” and “theirn” while it’s at it. Has someone used a jargony word, like “logomark,” that you think is redundant? Do a quick search online for how a logomark differs from a logo, and consider that perhaps, though jargon, it is a word that serves a purpose that neither “logo” nor “trademark” completely serves. Did someone utter “irregardless” in your hearing? Buy fifteen copies of this book and read the fourth chapter repeatedly. Revel in a language that is always growing and lives well beyond your grasp!

And stop tagging lexicographers on Twitter. We’re really only there for the dog pictures, man.

(via A Lexicographer’s Guide to Real Words | harm·less drudg·ery)

[zouanor]

11

I hadn’t talked to Charlotte in two weeks.

I was too pissed off at her for telling me not to worry about anything. It was my dad too, and I deserved to know what was going on. I wasn’t dumb to know that it wasn’t a minor cold or whatever she said. I wasn’t born yesterday, I knew something was going on.

Sure I was told to “grow up” over the phone by my mother, telling me that Charlotte was right, that I didn’t need to worry. But that pissed me off more, so I stopped talking to her too.

Of course I knew I was being petty, but the whole thing just bothered me. Why couldn’t I know?

Because they wanted to be jerks and not tell me, I picked up more shifts at work, that way they couldn’t get the chance to come see me. I wasn’t in the mood for them.

“Rosie?”

I blinked a few times once I heard my name being called. It was starting to become a habit of mine, zoning out until I finally catch on that someone was calling my name. My next confusing thought was who was calling my name.

“Rosie?? Yoo-hoo?”

Finally zoning into reality, I blinked a few times to regain my focus.

Alexa.

I sat the shirt I was folding down and ran to the other side, hugging her instantly. It had been a while since I had seen her, so for her to surprise me like this was something that I needed. How did she even get up here? Did Harry tell her? What about Niall? Did she google search me? Just how did she end up here?

“This isn’t a bad time is it? Harry said I should get here around noon and you’d be free -” Alexa started fretting. This wasn’t a bad time, it was more glorious and amazing than being a bad time.

“No no,” I started, setting my hands on her shoulders gently, “It’s good time. I’ve been here since opening and my shift is over in about ten minutes, mind waiting until then?” I bit down on my lip, hoping that was okay with her. I really needed someone new to talk to, someone with a clear mind that wasn’t going to judge my mentality or my life right now.

“There’s a food court down two stores and to the left, either I’ll meet you there or we can walk together?” I asked.

“I’ll just go sit on the bench and wait. I’ve got to text Harry and tell’em I made it here safely.”

With that, Alexa turned on her heels and I watched her head out to the bench. With a little nod, I turned back to doing my own thing.

Between cleaning the floor quickly and refolding clothes and anything else that could make ten minutes go by faster, I did that. Hell, I may have looked like a mess after doing whatever I had to do, but at least I was finished.

“Hey, you ready to go?”

Alexa stood up on her feet, smiling widely at me. Since I was the one who knew the place better than her, I took charge and led the way to the food court.

“Did you really come to Leeds just to visit me?” I asked.

“Well, I haven’t been here before so Harry and Niall said I should go explore it. And Niall said that you’d be here to show me around while Harry said the times.”

“So Harry knows my work schedule how?”

“Niall’s probably mentioned it. I’m always doing schoolwork so I never pay attention to what they talk about at times.” Alexa had shrugged her shoulders.

I didn’t mind that they knew my hours, it was just a weird thought. What would’ve frightened me more was if Harry used that against me somehow, like plan on creeping on me until I gave him attention or he came to bother me purposely.

But that wasn’t going to happen.

While Alexa ran off to find herself something to eat (if I remember right, she said something about salads), I went off to find a table to sit at. That way once she got there, I was able to head off and find something as well.

And when both of us finally sat down together, everything felt fine.

“So, my dear, how has you and Niall been?” Alexa asked, raising her eyebrows as soon as she saw me choking on my own food.

“What do you mean? We’ve just been hanging out more and thats it.” I wiped my face and shrugged my shoulders. There was nothing more than that, and there was nothing less than that either.

“Harry made it sound like you two were already in a relationship with the way he’s been talking.”

“Well, Harry’s wrong.” I huffed.

“Not with what he and Niall talk about though. You might not realize it, but sometimes Niall comes and stays in my dorm with Harry at times,” Alexa started, wiping her face with the napkin before shoving her tray to the side, and then folded her arms together. “It just ends up with the three of us hanging out, but late at night when I’m trying to sleep they do this ‘Boys Only’ thing. Talk about you most times cause he needs advice every now and again.”

Advice? On me? Of all things?

Alexa started laughing and I was starting to wonder if it was because of the look on my face. It was probably more confusion than anything else.

“Oh yes, advice on you. When I first met you, I can see how you two interacted and when I listen to him talk about you, he adores the shit out of you. You just don’t notice it because you don’t want to admit it. I know you like him though…” Alexa had smiled at me then.

It was just like what Patrick said. It was like anyone else would tell me if they were in this position. They all would notice it but I wouldn’t. But hearing this from someone else who’s the outsider looking in was just the icing on the cake.

“Onto a new subject, I’m staying the night in Leeds. So imma need you to find things to do for us. I’m up for take out and a bottle of wine, but I wanna explore more than just the mall.”

~~~

I showed her around the city. Mostly where the best bars were and the restaurants that were to die for. I showed her the park and where I normally go if I needed a quick shopping trip. Hell, I showed her the place where I threw up after a long night out at the bar.

But, there was one place I knew I could take her.

The best place I could possibly take Alexa was to the record store.

Of course that wasn’t the ideal place someone would want to visit when they come to Leeds, but this place was a home to me. Whenever I wasn’t with people, I was here searching through boxes for the David Bowie record I needed.

Alexa had a look of ‘are we really going in there’ because of how poor the building looked. I didn’t blame her if this was my first time visiting.

Nevertheless, I nudged her to go inside with me following behind her. The store was busy, going on its regular sales that it had done before. This time it seemed like there was new people in there than I can remember from the regulars.

“How is this place so important to you?”

“This is a sanctuary for me. I come here to find records and place them on my wall. There’s one record I can’t find anywhere, but I find others here.” I shrugged, looking through the records with Alexa by my side.

“Find an album you’d like to listen too and we’ll play it tonight. Niall would suggest some seventies-rock, but I prefer anything really.”

“Niall’s been here?”

“How do you think we met? Niall’s family lives a couple of blocks away from me. I’ve just never met them. But Niall was always in Sheffield for school, so when I met him it was a surprise really. Niall knows the owner well and introduced us, so now the owner is a father-figure to me.” I beamed a bit although Alexa had a smirk on her face.

“Bragging again aren’t you.”

I had turned around to see Patrick with his arms folded and stern look that turned into a grin.

“Only a little. This time it’s not to any stranger. Patrick this is Alexa, Alexa this is Patrick.”

Both of them had shook hands and Patrick had turned to look back at me.

“I was starting to worry that you had no friends, so this is an utter surprise… Where’s that boy of yours? Haven’t seen any of ya in awhile.”

Alexa had smirked at me as my cheeks turned a shade of red.

“So you believe Niall is her boy also?” Alexa piped up, causing Patrick to laugh.

“C’mon it’s obvious, but Ro over here doesn’t think so.” Patrick rolled his eyes and Alexa laughed in agreement.

“I’ve told her the same thing! But nooooooo, she doesn’t think so.”

“Excuse me i’m right here! I can hear everything you’re saying.” I huffed, causing them to both laugh at me now.

“But really Ro, where’ve you guys been?” Patrick calmed down enough to ask.

“He’s busy with a senior thesis and I’m busy with work.”

“I’ve always hated school, so props to him.”

“Anyways, do you have any boxes for me to look through?”

“A shipment is coming in tomorrow, come back then to look around. Now excuse me, I think I find someone trying to sneak a record underneath their sweater.” Patrick shook his head as he walked off.

By the time I had turned to look over at Alexa, she was long gone trying to find an album for my collection. I had no idea of her radio style, so this was going to be a whole new style for me if it’s anything different than mine.

I followed slowly behind, looking around at records that I know I didn’t have at home.I always kept a list, but it wasn’t on me constantly like it should be.

“Rosie?”

I perked up hearing my name again, scanning around the area until I spotted Alexa waving her hand for me to go there.

“What about this?”

“Joanne by Lady Gaga?”

“Yeah what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I’ve been wanting to listen to it for a while. C’mon we’ll go back to my apartment and we’ll listen to this.”

~~~

Somehow with Alexa I was comfortable.

Meaning that when I just walked out of my bedroom after changing into my pajamas, I was just wearing a t-shirt and my undies. Basically, just call me Jan from Grease.

Alexa was no better, I mean she was dressed the same way. And once again, there was no judgment coming from either of us.

This had to be some guy’s wet dream, but I wasn’t going to complain.

While I laid on the floor eating my take-out, Alexa sat cross legged on the couch. Both of us were silent, listening to Joanne that Alexa chose and just listened to the rhythm of each song, and how brilliant they were.

“Is this what you normally do when you got nothing planned?”

“Yup. It’s either this or finding doctor who. But mostly it's just the record player playing in the background.”

“What else is there to do in Leeds?”

I rolled over so that I could push myself up and sit on the couch across from her.

“There’s nightclubs and restaurants. But after that, the festivals aren't until the summer time and other events are rare. The last thing I went to was Oktoberfest in October. Other than that, its been work, family, friends and sleep.”

“You honestly have no life do you?”

“Oi, you got nerve. When’s the last time you went out?”

“Now?” She sassed.

Within a second, I shook my head and gave a little chuckle.

“Okay, I deserved that one.”

“So…. are we gonna watch a rom com and ice cream?” Alexa asked, finishing up the take-out and stood up, throwing her container away, only to return back to the couch.

“I have a movie case down the hall, go choose one and I’ll get the ice cream carton from the freezer.”

Both of us had moved quickly to grab whatever we needed. As fast as both of us had moved we were back on the couch within seconds. I didn’t know what Alexa had chosen, so this was going to be new to me.

“I chose Bridesmaids. I love Kristin Wiig in it so its a definite yes.”

I couldn’t deny the movie, it was one of my all-time favorites.

Niall wouldn’t sit down or watch the movie with me without complaining the whole time about why they’re bickering and asking if thats how girls really are when it comes to something like this.

For the rest of the night it was a fit of laughter and complaints about certain parts. But that didn’t matter. For once it was nice just to have a night-in that didn’t involve family.

~~~

I dropped Alexa off at the train station around noon.

We went out for breakfast and sat there for a while just talking. She went on about how she had to write her own senior thesis and how she was slacking behind it. Alexa was definitely not a Niall who kept up to date with his.

But Alexa promised that she would write hers, and that she was good when she was on a tight deadline. I didn’t know anything about deadlines, but I definitely believed her.

When I dropped her off at the station, I smiled at her.

“Thank you for visiting. But next time please let me know ahead of time so I can plan something.” Alexa gave a laugh then, nodding her head shortly afterwards.

“I promise. If not i’ll make the plans for us and just surprise you.”

I agreed to the thought. I frowned a bit once she was stepping to the train and she boarded it. She made her way into one of the coaches and pushed down the window quickly.

“Make sure you tell them boys to behave themselves and I said hey.”

With a laugh from Alexa, she pulled the window back up and sat down. There was a quick wave from her as soon as the train moved.

Once the train left, I shoved my hands into my coat pockets and headed back home. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew that I would find something. Even if that meant sleep or cleaning.

Whatever it was, I knew I had to get it done.