#get really enthusiastic about liking me . but not in a good or authentic way at all. like i guess to nt people the way i talk and think

[iamthemaestro]

Oh boy. I have a lot to say on this. I 1000% think that one of the biggest issues in AWI reenactment is the failure to reach the younger generation and I also wish the article had talked more about this and how it intersects with the inclusion of historically marginalized groups within the hobby.

I’ll put it this way: as of 2024, the BAR has an article in their constitution that prohibits women in ranks. As a young, non-male, and only sometimes white-passing reenactor, this has caused me issues in the past. People from the BAR have complained about me—a young, fairly new, dedicated reenactor—being on the field as a musician. Now, I’ve had the good fortune to be part of a unit with significant influence in the hobby, who have gone to bat for me in these instances and allowed me to feel relatively safe coming to these events, but I still can’t take up a musket at a BAR event if I want to. Over the past year I have become acutely aware that if it weren’t for the fact that I do music and not hat company, I would not be able to interpret at these events in the way I have repeatedly proven myself capable of doing.

So you have the primary overarching association responsible for organizing large-scale AWI reenactments literally denying interested, dedicated people from the younger generation the opportunity to participate in the hobby. And this is just one official organization—this is to say nothing of the culture. At the end of the day, sexism, racism, homophobia and transphobia is rampant in these environments. I do think the culture is slowly improving with time, but still, there are spaces where I do not feel safe in the hobby, and I spend a lot of time considering what my future as a reenactor might look like if I ever decide to medically transition, for example. My love for this hobby means I put up with a lot, even within my own unit, but I cannot fault other people who take one look at this mess and decide it’s not worth it. Of course there are going to be less reenactors. If individual units and the overarching organizations are going to actively resist a new generation of young living historians, interest in the hobby is going to waver.

I also think there’s an important distinction to make between so-called “progressive” units and a broader sense of historical accuracy, because ultimately reenactment is a hobby. I strongly believe that no issue of historical accuracy should take precedent over actual issues of discrimination (if we were going to really pursue historical accuracy, we would be excluding probably 90% of the reenactment community as it is!). But I also believe that the spirit of this hobby is one that is educational and authentic: second to having fun and staying safe, of course, I think the priority should be pursuing as accurate of an impression as you can in the meantime. “Progressive” units often get kind of a bad rap but ultimately I think they have the right idea. They’re what’s going to keep this hobby relevant as an educational tool and pursuit, as opposed to just being a bunch of grown men running around playing war with each other. Progressive units are, in my opinion, the future of this hobby. And yet a lot of more conservative units have this weird resistance to this philosophy simply because they don’t… want to have to adapt to what it means, I suppose. But I really do think that if that philosophy prevails, we won’t have educational reenactment—it’s possible we won’t have much in terms of reenactment at all. Ultimately I want to believe this, too, will improve in time, but the fact that we have to violently contest, for example, whether British soldiers had to shave (which they did) just because some reenactors desperately want an excuse not to… does not bode well for garnering interest from historians and enthusiasts in time for the 250th.

Anyway, that’s been my experience. I should probably stop talking about this because I think about it constantly and could go on forever. But that’s my (admittedly rather scathing) two cents on why this is the case.

Who has Wall Street Journal access I heard there’s an article about 250th reenactors and I need the tea

[dyklopces]

blegh.

[highvern]

Talk

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x f!reader

Genre: angst, fluff, smut

warnings:  oral sex/face sitting/69, prone bone, dom/sub dynamics (dom!reader/sub!hoshi),  protected sex, impact play (spanking), mentions of butt stuff but nothing explicit

Length: ~ 4.3k

Note: this ended up way longer than i originally planned... by like 2k but im weak for sub hoshi. realized i accidentally made them schmidt and cece from new girl.... oh well. as always thank u @gyuswhore for suffering my horrible punctuation and EVERYONE HAS TO READ HER UP COMING HOSHI FIC FOR PIRATE HOSHI I DEMAND IT

series m.list: Houdini [s], Green Light [s, f], YUCK [f], Casual [a, s, f], Mine [s], espresso [f, s]

m.list

This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.

Soonyoung talks. A lot. 

Sometimes it makes no sense. Like the occasions he calls you after a night out and slurs his words through the speaker as you hum agreement to who knows what until he passes out while still on the line, letting you hear every snore and smack of his lips until you hang up; or when he’s inside you and it's all a bit too much that he has to tell you how good it feels in excruciating detail; or when you both wake up in the morning, you late for work and him trying to talk you into keeping the sheets warm for just a few more minutes, and Soonyoung thinks he’s convinced you but fifteen more minutes really won’t hurt because his apartment is closer to your office anyway.

He talks so much that not hearing his voice the second he opens the door is like a slap in the face.

There's no invitation inside, or lukewarm greeting. The door hangs ajar, Soonyoung already back down the hall in the direction of his room with the expectation you’ll follow. 

You do, but with the same hesitancy you’d approach a wild animal: curious and on edge.

Despite the hour, his roommates aren’t anywhere to be seen. No bodies sprawled across the couch or light under their doors. Their presence never stopped you before but it’s unsettling that there's no buffer of anything to break the storm cloud choking the atmosphere. Just stark exposure to whatever is clearly bothering Soonyoung that he won’t tell you about because, technically, you two don’t do that. Or, he does and you vehemently refuse all of it with less and less authenticity each time.

Soonyoung doesn’t prattle on about his day or ask about yours as you trail behind him. He throws off his shirt without a word, collapses on the edge of the mattress, and roughly pulls you into his lap. It’s cold and unfeeling and exactly the kind of sex you’d enthusiastically participate in a year ago. But nothing like the Soonyoung you’ve grown familiar with over the past few months.

He doesn’t comment on the low cut of your top, falling into the motions without the usual banter. 

You wiggle free from his grasp, trying to meet his gaze. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He doesn’t look at you before taking back up where he left off.

“Stop.” You push him back, trying to get a look at his face but he stays in the crook of your neck. “Stop.”

The silence that follows is loud. He collapses back into the bed, arms curling up to hide away from whatever is chasing him.

“I said I’m fine,” he mumbles.

“Could've fooled me,” you huff.

“Doesn’t matter. Not what you come here for anyway, right?”

A half truth that stings more than you’d like. It sinks in your gut in the quiet dark of his room.

“You know what? Forget I asked, I’m leaving.”

“Wait,” he says, arms attempting to snake around your waist but you’re already up.

“No. You don’t need to be an asshole when I’m just trying to be nice.”

“Because you’re sunshine and rainbows all the time?”

“Did I fucking say I was? If you’ve got a problem with it you’ve had long enough to lose my number.”

“I’m sorry, I just…” he sighs heavily. “Bad day.”

You soften at the break in his voice. Stepping back over, you stand between his legs. He looks small, hunched over with his head in his hands and the weight of the world on his shoulders. The light you’ve come to associate with having him within reach is gone and all that's left is a man you don’t really recognize. He buries his face in the warmth of your stomach, and goes limp as you run a hand across his shoulders.

“Do—” you clear your throat. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Because if Soonyoung is talking there's less chances for you to open your mouth and screw it all up. You don’t know how to be doughy and tender with the same level of ease he possesses. You’ll probably fail trying but it's the least you can do.

It’s uncharted territory; for you, for this, whatever this is because it doesn’t really resemble anything you’ve done before even though the foundation is the same. Because you care about Soonyoung, and he obviously cares about you. But you’re not sure how to let him and even less sure how to return it.

“No.” 

“Okay,” you say, at a loss for what comes next.

Inactivity breeds restlessness. Without any idea how to do this on your own, you default to the steps he took when you were half cooked on your bathroom floor.

Soonyoung eyes you with questions but doesn’t speak as you drag him into the en suite. Bites his tongue as you work off your clothes under the sterile overhead light and then move to work on his; raising his arms when you poke him and managing his pants on his own. He even smiles, or his mouth twitches in a vague allusion to a grin, when you flick water at him after guaranteeing the temperature won’t give you both pneumonia.

Finally tucked behind the shower curtain, he stands dumbly. Not another move to help, content to watch you wash his hair, nails raking over his scalp until he shivers. 

You ignore the prod at your thigh. Focused on letting the warmth of the water do the heavy lifting, you soak a washcloth in soap and lather his skin until it tinges pink. A shampoo mohawk earns a kiss dusted along your shoulders and you might even blush a bit if you weren’t so focused on perfecting the spikes so he looks like one of those 90s alternative poster boys.

Out of the shower, his vow of silence continues. Everything he isn’t saying is clear in his eyes, especially when you slather his face in one of those mud masks, painting him bright green. He’s less intimidating with chunks of clay in his eyebrows.

He isn’t accommodating but he also doesn’t outright refuse which seems to be the best you’re going to get. 

“You look like Shrek,” you snort, satisfied and turning towards the mirror to cover your own face in a matching shade.  

“Well then you're Fiona.” His head comes over your shoulder, chin digging into bare skin to watch you in the mirror. His chest is sticky against your back from steam but you don’t mind if it means he’ll talk to you.

“Actually,” you think, wiggling to face him. “I think you’re more like Donkey.” 

“The dragon fits you better anyway.”

“Are you calling me scary?” you gasp.

“Yes.”

“Good. Remember that next time you want me to suck on your balls.”

He winces. “I can feel them retreating into my body already.”

“Don’t make me laugh, it’ll mess up the mask.”

Without a care for the still drying mess of his face, he takes refuge back in his favorite place. Tucked under your chin, he sighs.

“I’m sorry I was a dick earlier. Work sucked today. I didn’t get a contract I wanted, they picked some other kid at the studio for it. I’ve taught him for years and they picked him over me.”

“I’m sorry.” You placate him with a gentle hand up his back, nails tracing loose patterns as the fan hums over head.

“Not your fault.”

“No, but it still sucks.”

“Yeah.” He nuzzles closer, arms heavy around your waist like you’d even think to move away. “It’ll be fine though. He’s a good kid and I couldn’t be mad at him. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

Fifteen minutes later, you both wash away the flakes of clay, cracked around the corners of your eyes and mouths, and retreat back under the covers in one set of pajamas split between: you in one of his shirts with nothing underneath, and him in sweatpants with nothing on top. 

Soonyoung insists that Pirates of the Caribbean is his comfort movie, something about Kiera Knightly with a gun being his sexual awakening (which explains a lot), and you let him put it on the tiny screen of his laptop with plans to fall asleep in the first five minutes.

His lips are at your temple, a dull pressure that makes your blood hum. “I always wanted to be a pirate growing up.”

“Really?” you ask, edging towards unconsciousness from the lazy drag of his fingers on your hip.

“Yeah,” he agrees, eyes glued to the screen. “Have my own ship, no rules, a bunch of sexy wenches.”

“Half naked women with scurvy were a part of your career plan?”

“Okay, maybe I added those just now but my point stands.”

The picture of Soonyoung with a scar on his chest and one of those ruffled linen shirts straight off the cover of a dime novel some grandma would read on the train with no shame isn’t that bad. Actually, it’s pretty sexy. But you won’t feed his delusions.

“What point?”

He rolls on top of you, face open with grave seriousness. “We should role play. Me as the hot pirate captain, you as the beautiful princess. Forbidden love, enemies type stuff. You run away from being royal and end up joining my crew. Oh no, Captain Hoshi, I had no idea this was your room! What an impressive sword!” he squeals in a breathy mock of you.

“And then,” you gasp. “you come in five minutes and I convince everyone to throw you overboard?”

“Hurtful. But I’m willing to forgive you if you call me captain. Just once.”

He’s close enough to kiss, lips pouted as he waits for you to give into his demand. A gentle peck bordering on domestic makes him sigh, the taste of toothpaste lingering on his breath. Just as you think you’ve distracted him away from such an ridiculous idea, he leans back with a gleam in his eye that says he’ll wait all night if you make him.

“How about we roleplay falling asleep?” you sigh, eyes closed against his expectant gaze.

“Nope, too late. I’m thinking about you wearing nothing but a pirate hat and now I’m hard.”

He curls right into the meat of your thigh, hot and ready to go if you give the word. Sleep is tempting but the thought of a quick tumble wakes you up enough to entertain him. 

“Alright, but you’re doing all the work,” you sigh. “Take off my clothes, captain.”

Pausing to let the idea settle, he shakes his head. “That’s actually not as hot as I thought it would be.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you fuff. “I’m watching the movie.”

You try to shove him away with zero intent to actually let him go anywhere and end up pinned, fingers in a tight grip around your wrists that you pretend to fight against. Soonyoung knows you like to be reminded of his strength on occasion; whether thats fucking your mouth until your throat burns or bending you over. This potentially being one since he’s had a hard day and you’re hungover from making him feel better about it. 

He tongues across your pulse until you go pliant against the pillows, legs spread to cradle his hips. A shuffle of clothes and a lift of your hips and he’d be inside you. There's more steps; a condom, a little fingering because his dick was made to stretch your limits. Your legs shake already, desperate for quick fuck so you can passout while Soonyoung cleans you up. 

But his new mood means he’s making up for lost time. Presently, that's bunching your shirt up to your chin and tracing each inch of newly uncovered skin with his tongue.

“Hellooooo ladies,” he sighs, nose buried between your breasts.

“God, you’re lame.”

“Be nice to me, I had a hard day,” he pouts, releasing your hands in favor of plucking at your chest until you sigh in delight.

“I’m literally letting you—hmmm— see my boobs after you said that corny shit. How much nicer can I be?”

He doesn’t answer, choosing to coax a low groan out of your chest with passes of his mouth until you're kicking the sheets. The good kind of sting that ruts your hips against his thigh and makes you dizzy. There will be a permanent wet patch if he doesn’t give you relief soon.

“I have a few ideas.”

“Like what?” You twitch at the thoughts running rampant. Short of donning that pirate hat mentioned earlier, anything he suggests is guaranteed to make you feel better too. 

“Can show you better than I can tell you,” he bites into your nipple, sucking it to a stiff peak for his fingers to pinch before shifting focus to the other. 

“If you try and put your dick in my ass I’ll rip it off.” The words are breathy off your lips. No real threat because he might be able to talk you into the idea if you let him. If he keeps pulling your strings the way he’s learned how. 

But Soonyoung has different ideas, pulling off your nipple with a rough suck, curling your shoulders in. “That was one time and it was an accident!”

“Let me slip a finger in next time I blow you and tell me how you like it.”

“You have and I do. Keep talking about it and I’m gonna need another shower.”

“God, you’re a freak.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He takes the initiative to roll you on top, palms massaging your ass while enjoying the view of you naked in his lap. 

A sudden moment of vulnerability roots in your chest, warmed by the set of brown eyes peering up at you. “You know I don’t just come here for this, right?” 

Soonyoung’s eyebrows twist for a moment and then soften. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s fine,” you cut him off, not ready for anything deeper. The air is already thicker with the weight of that confession, suffocating. In an effort not to drown in it, you drop your chest flat to his, latching onto the jut of his collarbone. “Is this your big idea? Me on top? Not very original.”

A hand at your ass drags you along his covered cock, already begging for attention. It’s not original but you’ll dry hump him into the mattress until your bones are jelly if he wants. 

“Sit on my face.”

It’s your turn to pull back. “What?”

“Sit. On. My. Face.” His hand is already firm against your thighs, forcing you halfway up his chest before you can argue.

“I heard you the first time, just confused how that's supposed to make you feel better.”

“You underestimate the power of your pussy. Now get up here.” 

The shuffle up is less than sexy. Soonyoung is eager from your permission, rushing you up to his mouth until you nearly knee him in the head.

“Wait,” you say. 

Soonyoung locks his arms as you move off him, reflexive because he lets go a second later. Turning, you eye the tent in his pants as you kneel back down. Perfect position to touch him while he touches you.

“Oh, fuck,” he grunts, fingers tracing through your wetness despite the horrible angle.

You don’t get a chance to orient yourself. He’s already quick to work with teasing passes of his tongue that turn bolder every second. 

“Jesus Christ, give me a second to get your dick out.”

But he doesn’t; too consumed with tasting all you have to offer, wringing you out to dry the second he gets a chance. The flat of his tongue laps up your arousal like it’s more vital than oxygen. There's a wet mess smeared between your thighs from the vigor. 

It takes all your focus to force down his pants, mouth watering at the shiny head of his cock straining from some heavy petting. You keep steady with one hand, jerking him off into your mouth with the other. Soonyoung malfunctions between your thighs as you swallow his cock, a moan right to your clit makes you fumble that last inch into your mouth.

He chokes you with a buck up but you take it in stride. Sucking harder, lashing against the slit until he whimpers. Normally, you’d exaggerate the wet noises at the back of your throat but with the crude dig of his tongue in your entrance there's no need. 

“God,” you warble into his crotch. You arch back into his face, Soonyoung’s fingers digging into the meat of your ass, spreading you out like a full course meal.

In theory it’s hot. Your cunt on his face and his cock in your throat, rutting against each other until you're numb and twitching and covered in each other's mess. In practicality, there is nothing Soonyoung is more relentlessly dedicated to than eating you out until your vision turns white and you have to force him away or risk passing out. It only takes a few minutes before you’re forced to tap out, panting into his thigh and weakly fisting his length with no regard for the mess sticking between your knuckles, as he fucks you along his tongue.

“Gonna come, oh–fuck,” you choke. You want him to come too, in your mouth, on your face if that's what he wants. But by some glitch in the universe, Soonyoung is able to hold back and you’re the one racing to the finish first. “Oh my god, Soonyoung, fuck.”

You jerk him off, grip tight despite the slick mess of spit and pre-cum. It doesn’t help that ever squeeze at the swollen head sends a moan straight into your clit, forcing you hips to rut desperately. 

“Don’t stop. Just, shit – need a little more—”

You pull one his hands away to take over your short strokes, spitting into his palm and squeezing until he figures out what you want; to watch him touch himself while eating you out. The contrast of his fingers tangled between your own, both glistening because Soonyoung is just as close as you are, gets you there.

“Close.” Thighs locked, you suffocate him but Soonyoung doesn’t complain. A palm at the base of your spine forces you down when you shy away from the edge. “Oh, oh, oh!”

A sting of your nails into his thigh is all the warning either of you get. Back arched tight, eyes clenched, you shudder through it. Soonyoung doesn’t stop, sucking away the fresh wave of arousal, tongue verging on punishing against your clit as you sink.

“Okay, that's enough—god,” your voice breaks. “Enough.”

You fall to the side, face first into the covers without effort to soften the blow. The lower half of your body is numb but you can feel his hand skating up the back of your calf.

“Good?” he asks, all too aware of the issue; the smirk is clear in his tone, happy to see you strung out from a few minutes on his mouth.

“Shut up,” you warn but the bite isn’t in it. The urge to kick him in the head is there but none of the energy. 

“Are you tapping out on me or…?” 

The sound of the drawer pauses in case you say no but the idea of not feeling him inside you sounds like the worst thing you’ve ever heard.

“You’re not that good,” you mumble into the blanket. “Fuck me like this, you promised you’d do all the work. Remember?”

“Like this?” he hums, rubbing the head of his cock back through the mess with admiration. 

He obeys with a wet kiss to your shoulder, parting your legs and sliding between without a word. You soak in the stretch, ass arched into his hips to take it all. The cold bites down your back when Soonyoung leans back to watch.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he whines. “Shit.” 

He drives into you with a bruising pace, betrayed by his own need to come after having you on his mouth without a tease of relief. You arch into it, the head of his cock dragging deep inside pushing disgusting noises from your lips you pray his roommates aren’t around to hear.

“Spank me.”

He loses it for a second. A rough thrust pushing you down the bed and he scrambles to follow. “Seriously?” 

“Do it,” you bark. 

The first strike is weak. More of a firm caress than the sting you crave; hesitant to push for too much too fast lest you take away any privilege he has.

“Harder.”

The next impact comes hard enough to burn an outline of his hand. And another one that makes your tongue feel too big for your own mouth.

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” you whine. “More.”

Arms pinned beneath your torso, all you can do is lay there and take it. Nerves gone, he spanks you like it’s second nature. Like he’s thought about it before.

“Good?” he asks. Sounds more like a beg for validation. That he’s the one driving you crazy, molding your insides to his cock until it’s all you can think about.

“So good, f–fuck me so good.”

“Yeah?” he breathes against your neck, a hand wedging beneath your hips to drag against your clit in messy strokes. “You’re so hot, fuck.”

There will be a bruise to hide come morning but you can’t care. The slap of his hips against your ass, the flame of his hand still lingering on your ass, his cock drilling your insides; there's no room for anything but Soonyoung, Soonyoung, Soonyoung.

You arch your back to feel him deeper only to have him pull out completely on the next stroke.

“No!” you protest, racing to keep him inside. 

It’s no use, Soonyoung flips you on your back before you can convince him otherwise. He hooks your knees over his elbows, spreading you wide and driving home in one smooth push with his teeth at your neck.

“Gonna come,” he begs, voice weak. You know his game, what makes him tick and come so hard he goes blind.

“Not yet,” you warn. A rough twist in his hair only works against his thinning resolve and that's exactly why you pull harder until his hips kick into a jilted rhythm.

“I can’t – please – I can’t—”

“Not yet,” you gasp. He’s deep, right in the back of your throat making you foggy. “Be a g–good boy and wait until I tell you.”

Hips frantic, voice cracking, he tries to hold off; knows it's better when you tell him exactly what to do. Makes him choke into your chest.“Fuck, fuck!” 

“Tell me how bad you want it. How much you love this pussy.”

“Love it, love your pussy.” He folds in half on top of you, desperate. Every drive of his cock into your center forcing your own desperate noises out. “Please let me come for you.”

“Look at me,” you demand. The command in your voice is paper thin but you're both too lost. His eyes are glassy, frantic to do whatever you ask if it means he can come. “Beg for it.”

“P–please,” he whimpers through gritted teeth. “Please let me come. Need it, wanna come. Please. Please!”

He’s too good to edge. Perfectly pliant to any demand and it makes you want to give him whatever he wants. “Give it to me. Fuck me through it. Let me feel you come for me.”

He latches onto your breast, sucking your nipple as his hips turn sloppy. The squeak of mattress springs are a sound track to his end. You won’t come again but you don’t need to. Satiated with the choked whimpers of your name as he swells against your walls, forcing himself as deep as possible like he’s fucking you raw and full of his cum.

Maybe someday you’ll let him.

Your hips are sore from being forced in half so long but you won’t move away until Soonyoung comes back down. Less from your own will power, more because you’re running on fumes and might fall asleep with him still inside you. He gives a few more pathetic twitches and then goes slack.

“Oh my god,” he groans. “I can’t feel my legs.”

“Welcome to the club,” 

With the grand finale complete, your aching muscles give out completely. You can’t even laugh when one of his hands moves to check your pulse.

“Oh my god,” Soonyoung gasps. “I killed you with my dick.”

“You didn’t kill me.” You slap away his hand weakly. Without distraction, the stickiness of your skin from sweat in the worst places settles in but it’s a problem for later.

“A man can dream,” he says wistfully.

“Of homicide by cock?”

“Of dick game strong enough to murder someone.”

He rubs his nose along yours, breathes mingling in a lazy kiss as exhaustion creeps over your both. 

“Your face smells like pussy.” You slouch into the mattress, deadweight while taking all of his like the perfect blanket.

He kisses you again, tongue teasing at your lips until you give the very real threat of teeth against it and he backs away. “Your mouth tastes like cock so I guess we’re even. C'mon we need to shower again.”

“Nooooooo,” you grumble, clinging to him in an effort to delay the chill waiting to invade between you.

“At least let me get a rag.”

Your legs tighten around his waist, locked at the ankle for dramatic effect. “If you pull out I’ll cry.”

“Words every man wants to hear,” he hums into your cheek with a kiss. “But my dick is sore and we both need to sleep.”

“Fine.”

When he pulls away you feel empty; devastatingly so. But you don’t ask him to comeback. Just pout at the loss and revel in placating pampering you receive in return.

He goes through the steps with familiarity. Wiping away the mess between your legs, tossing your shirt back up from the floor but you forgo it, choosing to sleep naked much to Soonyoung’s delight.

You use his chest as a pillow, curled into his side and tucked under his chin. The steady beat of his heart lulls you off. The last thing you register, on the hazy perimeter at the edge of sleep, is his fingers at your cheek and the ghost of a kiss on your forehead.

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@wonustars

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[lurkingshan]

We Need to Talk about Love in Translation

I caught up on Love in Translation this week at @bengiyo’s behest, as he’s been talking about how good it is. It’s a Thai bl on iQIYI, and in this current deluge of shows, it’s flying mostly under the radar. But this week’s episode convinced me this is a show we should be prioritizing even with so much to keep up with, and I wanted to talk a little bit about why. 

Ben already covered some of the basics about the show, and I agree with all of that, but what is really blowing me away is the confidence of the writing and the control the writers have on the pacing of this story. Because this show? Moves, and it moves fast. The relationships are evolving rapidly, and our leads are moving closer every week, and yet nothing ever feels rushed or unearned. They start out adversaries, but it’s all based on a misunderstanding, and once that gets cleared up and they get to know each other, they come to like each other rather quickly. The narrative gives us good reasons for their rapidly shifting perspectives, and crucially, this is a story that is fundamentally about kind people with emotional intelligence, so their openness to changing their minds about each other tracks.

So in episode four, we begin with a classic drama set up: Phumjai, our inexperienced but enthusiastic protagonist, is finally going on a date with his crush, Tammy, and he asks his new friend and business partner, Yang, to go on a practice date with him. Yang is, of course, already half in love with Phumjai and this set up is torture for him. And so the “fake” date commences, and of course the two of them have a fantastic time, forgetting Tammy exists for long stretches before Phumjai inevitably brings her up again and Yang’s face falls. Before the date ends, they end up lounging alone under a tree, Phumjai asks Yang about what kind of lover he would want, and Yang takes the opportunity to make his feelings clear. 

Their almost kiss is interrupted, but here’s the important part: Phumjai is extremely aware of what almost just happened, and what it means. He knows Yang was about to kiss him, and he was going to let him. And he knows the implications of that, unlike the typical trope where a character like him would remain confused about Yang’s intentions or his own feelings. Phumjai is inexperienced, but he’s not ignorant. Still, he has committed to a date with Tammy, and so he goes. And the whole time he’s with her, he can feel that it’s not right. He’s not feeling the same things with her that he was with Yang, and his mind wanders back to Yang continuously throughout his time with Tammy. He is not doing the typical drama thing of sublimating or ignoring his feelings. He notices what is going on with his heart and what it means. 

And here is where the show wows me again: Phumjai does something about it immediately. He ends his date with Tammy without kissing her despite a clear invitation to do so and runs straight to Yang to talk to him about what he’s feeling. He tells him with total honesty that he’s been thinking about him all day, and that he didn’t feel the way he thought he would with Tammy, and that he wants to understand what is going on between them. Yang listens to him patiently as he works it out, and once he’s given an opening, he doesn’t hesitate to lean in and finish the kiss he started earlier in the episode.

Let me just emphasize again: all of this happened in one episode. This show deftly covered the emotional groundwork and character development that most dramas would take several weeks if not half a season to unpack, and it all felt organic and authentic to who these characters are. I sat up and stared at my screen in awe several times throughout this episode because I was so delighted by what was happening and how confident the underlying writing was. We are now halfway through the show, and we have ample time to work through the fallout of Phumjai’s realizations and see him and Yang actually figure out being in a relationship together (my favorite thing in any romance drama). This is a new screenwriting team (it’s literally their first credit) and they certainly have my attention. I can’t wait to see what they have in store for the second half of this story.

[luxaryllis]

My Friend

Note: I'm back!! I wrote this fic for @twst-charity , which is a Twisted Wonderland-themed charity drive for Palestine. Please do check it out and donate!! Their pinned post and blog in general has a lot of information, and they also have contributor sign-ups open as well! I really hope you guys can support in any way you can!

Here's the link to donate and send a request as well! The whole thing works rather similarly to giving a commission, except you simply have to provide a proof of your donation and then give your request.

Anyways, this is a fic focused on Rollo and the donor's oc, Robin! Fic is under the cut. I had so much fun writing this, especially since this was my first time writing for Rollo. Hopefully I can also get to work on other requests for the charity drive and the requests on my inbox as well! This is also full fluff so no warnings from here!

Chatter and laughter fill the cafe, filling the area with a lively and bustling atmosphere. The smell of coffee beans and freshly baked pastries waft through the air and easily excite the customers piling in. The door jingles lightly with every person walking in, and people all converse together happily. Groups of friends, couples, families, and even those alone are enveloped by the welcoming ambience of the cafe.

The bells jingle again, prompting the servers to enthusiastically thank the two people who were leaving. Rollo and Robin step out of the warm cafe, a cold breeze greeting them as soon as they step outside. Robin takes a small sip of his hot chocolate, smiling happily at the toasty feeling it brings to him. The shorter boy lets out a small hum of contentment as the hot beverage smoothly goes down his throat.

“Mmmh! Thanks for treating me, Rollo. This cafe really is good!” Robin grins up at Rollo in happiness and gratitude. Rollo only nods, using his handkerchief to cover his mouth a bit. Rollo’s voice is slightly muffled as he speaks from behind the cloth, “Of course. It’s my pleasure. This cafe is known for its authentic traditional food from Fleur City, so I thought it best to show you the richness of Fleur City’s culture.”

The two start to stroll together by the sidewalk, a peaceful silence between the two friends. A few butterflies flutter over, making Robin giggle slightly as he watches them fly about without a care. The butterflies then proceeded to fly away, the whimsical wings fluttering off. Just as the winged insects flew out of view, a small drop of water fell on Rollo’s shoulder, making him pause and look around to see whoever or whatever made the water fall on him.

With that one droplet of water, came another. And another. Until drops of rain were falling from the sky. Robin lets out an exclamation of surprise, not having anticipated it to start raining. It’s somewhat evident that Rollo didn’t expect it either, if his annoyed mutters into the handkerchief fully covering his mouth mean anything. The two quickly run back to the cafe, stopping just outside and taking shelter under the extended roof. Rollo heaves a sigh of relief and pockets his handkerchief, looking at Robin who was trying to dry his slightly damp hair.

Robin lets out a small chuckle and quickly downs the rest of his hot chocolate, setting it by the table nearby. The two take a seat and watch as Fleur City becomes a rainy wonderland. While it was a mundane and normal sight to Rollo, who has lived in Fleur City his whole life, it seemed almost like a life-changing experience to Robin. There was just something so beautiful about how the raindrops fell and made puddles in the ground, rippling with every drop that fell. How the petals of the flowers outside would bend a bit when a drop would fall on them, and how the bright sun still shines despite the rain and darkening clouds, making a wonderful scene.

Such a stunning sight should definitely be captured on camera.

The younger boy takes out his camera and turns it on, looking through the viewfinder of the camera. Robin squints in concentration as he fiddles with the focus and zoom rings on his camera, trying to find the best way to capture the wondrous moment. Rollo watches on in slight confusion, but doesn’t say anything just yet. He knows when someone needs to focus, and photography is a delicate art that requires all concentration. A shutter and click sound is heard, and Robin looks at the photo he took. A bright grin grows on his face as he sees the picture.

“Rollo, Rollo! You should take a look at this!” Rollo blinks a bit and leans over curiously, looking from above Robin’s shoulder to see the picture. It was just a standard picture of Fleur City raining; it wasn’t anything extraordinary. While Fleur City was a beautiful sight, was it really worth taking a photo of it while it was raining? It’s still the same city, after all; it’s not like there’s any change to Fleur City as it rains. The same buildings, the same flowers, the same people.

And yet... when looking at it through Robin’s camera, everything seems brighter, almost mesmerising. Rollo was used to the sight of Fleur City, though he loved his homeplace very dearly, but even he didn’t expect to see this beautiful sight. The camera caught even the smallest of details, and it was so wonderful to see that such a moment was perfectly captured and preserved. Rollo forces himself to hide the small smile growing on his face, but lets himself release a sound of affirmation and pride. “Hm, you did well. A beautifully taken picture. The beauty of Fleur City truly shines with this...”

It was rare for Rollo to give praise to anything or anyone, and is more seen showing his disdain for things more than anything else. Robin blushes a bit and sheepishly grins, puffing out his chest a bit in confidence, “Hehe I’m glad you like it! Oh! How about I print it out for you? You really like Fleur City, don’t you? I can print it out as a keepsake for you or something.”

Rollo blinks a bit in surprise, “Really? You would?” He pauses and hesitates a bit. His pride and ego is telling him not to accept it; after all, he shouldn’t seem so vulnerable in front of others. Especially not after what happened last time. He swore to himself never to let his emotions truly get the better of him. He’s been forgiven by the NRC students, but he’ll never forget their faces and the faces of the people who got hurt because of him. But then... it’s Robin.

It surprises him how kind Robin is, and he feels almost taken aback when Robin nods happily, his big grin brighter than even the sun. Rollo sighs in defeat, “I would like that. Thank you…”

Robin lets out a celebratory noise and keeps his camera. “I’ll print it out when I get back and give it to you, then!”

It was so surprising sometimes, how Robin can be so sweet to someone like Rollo. Rollo knows he can be too much. He knows he’s done so many things that are wrong. No matter how much he works, he knows he might never truly make up for it. He doesn’t understand how Robin, who has been so exposed to magic despite having none himself, can be so caring and understanding. How can Robin be so kind to him? Rollo is rather sure that, after what he’s done to Robin’s friends, he wouldn’t even want to be associated with him.

Rollo breaks the peaceful silence between them as he softly speaks, “Why? Why are you so kind to me?” Robin blinks and tilts his head to the side with a confused expression. “Hm? What do you mean by that?”

The older boy sighs and tries to explain, “I mean... certainly you should feel some sort of disdain towards me, shouldn’t you? It’s a wonder that you’re so kind to me. So why? Why are you…?"

“Huh?! Hey, don’t say that, Rollo! Why am I so kind to you...? Well, I guess it’s because it looks like you need a friend!” Robin musters up a kind smile to his companion. “I don’t see how it’s so special, though, but I’d be very glad to be the friend that you need!”

A friend… Rollo’s had close acquaintances before, maybe some people he’ll confide in sometimes, but he’s never really thought of anyone as a friend. After the incident with his younger brother, after he swore to himself to eradicate all magic in this world, he’s never had someone he can truly call a friend. He tries to keep his blush and smile hidden behind his handkerchief, muttering to himself as he averts his gaze.

Yet Robin thinks of him as a friend. Are there people out there who think of him as a friend too? Perhaps not, not with his terrible temperament. But Robin seeing him as a friend is a big surprise. Or, knowing the first year’s friendliness and kindness, maybe it isn’t so shocking.

“I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you…” Rollo mumbles out softly, his voice muffled by the handkerchief over his mouth. As Rollo watches Robin hum in confusion, asking what he just said, he swears to himself to not make the same mistake he made last time.

Robin makes him feel like a normal person again. Like he isn’t just Noble Bell College’s Student Council President. Like he’s just another person. Like he didn’t actually do so many terrible things in a fit of rage and revenge. Like he’s just a friend to someone. It’s hard to muster up the words to describe the warmth he feels, and Rollo’s pride and ego just can’t let him express his true feelings. Not now. Not yet. For now, he can only manage to say what he’s always wanted to say in his head.

“Thank you, Robin. You’ve saved me, my friend.”

[suzukiblu]

i want to write and post kinky things, but i can’t get past this base level of… shame, i guess. or embarrassment. or anxiety over judgement. it feels weird to ask just another blog, but yet i still am… how do you do it? did you have to get over the same thing? if you did, how?? sorry. i love your writing

You're good, friend, don't sweat it! ❤️ Honestly I don't remember if I was ever particularly ashamed or embarrassed by the idea of doing smut or not, but I WAS once ashamed and embarrassed by the idea of writing and posting things that I thought were too id-driven or too self-indulgent or just Too Much.

And then I thought, "okay, but if I'm not having fun and not being authentic and not doing what I want, what's the point anyway?"

So I just slooooowly step-by-step stopped reflexively reining myself in, and then I found out that actually the world is full of people who are exactly as id-driven and buck-wild as I am and they are both delighted and GRATEFUL to see my hyper-specific opinions about gender and yes they WOULD like to read about this character being the exact kind of queer I am interpreting them as and no there is NOT any such thing as "too much" hurt/comfort or too many fix-it AUs or too much focusing on your favorite character and yes they DO wanna see those kinks explored too; actually, you should probably write all your fave things a few MORE times and commit even HARDER this time. Like, the more niche and self-indulgent I get, the more enthusiastic and involved the people who read my stuff seem to get, in my experience. People LIKE the stuff I thought I'd get judged over. Like, a lot of people! Not EVERYONE, but still, way more people than I ever would've expected when I was regularly thinking "no one will like my stuff if I get too carried away and do what I REALLY wanna do".

I realize you're asking about specifically porn here, but that was sort of an overlapping thing for me in terms of the KINDS of porn I wrote, and like . . . I really do think making the things you really WANT to make is always gonna resonate harder than just making the things you think you're SUPPOSED to make.

I don't know if any of that was sufficiently helpful, but personally I always say you should just do what you want, in situations like these. You're not gonna be eighty and going "gosh I wish I'd had LESS experiences and tried FEWER new things!", you know?

(also if all else fails, there's always the good ol' "make a throwaway NSFW account to test the waters on your own comfort level and go from there" option)

[wifiwuxians]

sent here by aoxue lol

Songxue + spy x family au?

HELLO i was literally just typing this up under her post so it's great you came to me! i've added xxc to it too i hope that's ok? also, for anyone reading this and wanting some kind of spy/assassin-esque story...

please read fairy fish by pomegranites (SO SORRY I KNOW YOU HAVE A TUMBLR BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER THE URL RIGHT NOW </3), it is songxiao but they're assassins and AQ and XY are there too being SUPER cute, we had the privilege of getting it for SL Love Week! it might scratch the itch!

but now...

keep in mind i am riffing here. I have not consumed this media!! but it's a good premise!!! SL and XY get paired together for their cover story, with SL being the cool and handsome spy tasked with observing his tricky target and XY being his, um, wife. more on that in a moment. their perfect angel child sent from heaven (A-Qing) is a mischievous little squirt with a sharp wit and the power to read minds, but she keeps it very well hidden. she fears rejection and abandonment (reader do you sense a theme in my AUs) if they were to find out. it makes her a good judge of character, though. she often bites XY when he gets too close to her.

SL didn't really want to fall into the spy business. it's antithetical to the just and righteous morals he grew up believing in, but personal tragedy and an increasing lack of faith in the justice system and heads of government led him down that path. he tells himself he's doing it for the sake of his country and the good of all people and leaves it at that. he tries to be genuinely affectionate to A-Qing, because he thinks she's fantastic even though she's trouble, and he tries to keep her on the right path. thing is, affection isn't really his forte. fortunately for him, A-Qing knows how he feels about her.

XY is in it for the possibility of bloodshed. he's been told he has license to kill if things go sour for whatever reason, so while he is strongly encouraged to ensure things do not, in fact, go sour, he's sort of always hoping they do. like SL, personal tragedy has set him down this path in life, only he acts purely out of need for catharsis as opposed for any love for his nation. as a result, A-Qing thinks he's scary, even though she's conflicted because he does genuinely like her, biting aside (he sort of finds it funny, actually).

XY is not at all keen on playing the role of doting wife and mother, and SL respects that, and doesn't demand any of that at home. XY does what he has to in public, but at home is his authentic self; a man. (hits you with transgender beam). the arrangement suits him just fine, since SL is not affectionate and is actually rather detached, and he can just horse around with A-Qing without the added pressure of responsibility, completely neglecting the thought that she might want an actual family.

XXC enters the scene as A-Qing's dazzling, sweet, gentle, enthusiastic homeroom teacher. he is everything A-Qing wants in her life and she knows he has a soft spot for her specifically. SL is smitten with him the moment he meets him, tripping over his words in the most unprofessional way possible and adopting a sort of softness towards him in future encounters that resembles how he behaves with his daughter. XY is baffled and honestly? pretty damn hurt. he didn't mind detached cold SL because he figured he was like that with everyone except the squirt, and now here he is falling for some goody two shoes glorified babysitter when he's meant to have a wife? PLEASE! his thoughts get scary for a stint and A-Qing kicks him in the shins repeatedly, and that clues him into the fact that she has powers, though he doesn't ask for fear of sounding insane. SL is very confused at the home dynamic that develops from this, and everything hangs in the balance. XY finds that XXC is disarming, and hates himself for not being able to commit to hating him fully (and less as time goes on). SL has to battle with this newfound attraction and the fact he is a married man, even if it's all for show; especially because he's started to develop a soft spot for his spouse.

[freakystrashdump]

🔮The Oracle Bakery🔮

Emperor Belos|Phillip Wittebane/OC

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, Belos is a content warning by himself

Read on AO3

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Chapter 11: Glowing reviews

It was around midday when an unexpected visitor came to the bakery, way past the morning rush and still not quite the lunch one. So the bakery was, for the most part, vacant of customers, Selena and Pip relaxing behind the counter, Katya having taken a day off for 'mentorship reasons', as she put it.

"Welcome to the Oracle- oh!" Selena gasped, eyes lighting up "It's you, the human girl! Hello, welcome to my bakery!"

It was indeed Luz Noceda, the human who was under Eda's care. A bright smile on her face and mischief in her eyes, the girl sauntered over to the counter, leaning against it "Ahyup! Tis I, Luz, the human! Gawk at my radiance!"

Selena laughed and clapped her hands together in delight "Truly your radiance is blinding, Luz the Human!" She giggled enthusiastically "How may I be of service today?"

"Weeeell~" Luz's grin stretched even wider, the girl pulling out a paper snail and stretching it out theatrically "I heard this is the only place on the Boiling Isles that sells human food, and mama, I am starving !"

"Oh wow, look at little miss Big Money." Selena whistled "I thought Eda couldn't keep the stand running, where'd you get all those snails?"

"Eda and I were gifted copious amounts of selkigris after we heroically saved a Selkidomus and their baby from certain death!" Luz boasted, puffing out her chest.

The older witch made an impressed 'wow' as she looked over the stock of human pastries she had left "Oh wow, selkigris? You two are lucky , that stuff is worth a fortune down at the night market!" She cleared her throat "Not that I would know anything about such illegal things."

"Oh, of course not!"

"Of course not."

The two looked at each other, before bursting into harmonious giggles.

"So, Luz the heroic human, it would seem you are in luck today!" Selena announced proudly "I've been testing out a new recipe for my…unsavoury side gig in the palace, and I have a bunch of new stuff for you as well." She gave Luz a cat-like grin "You get to be my guinea pig before I make the final batch for our annoying ruler of the isles!"

Luz made a grimace at that, hissing out through her teeth as if hit "Oof, yeowch. Don't tell me you work for the Emperor."

"Unfortunately." Selena let out dryly, piling up as many baked goods as she could inside one of the pretty boxes "I got manhandled into being his personal pastry dealer a little bit after the…" she cleared her throat "...well, actually, it was on the morning after the conformatorium incident, now that I think about it." She placed the box on the counter with much gusto "I deliver to the palace up to three times a week. He really likes the exotic novelty of 'authentic human food', apparently." Her face soured as she explained herself to Luz "Anyway, there is a bright side to this!"

Luz scoffed "How can working for an evil tyrant have any bright sides?"

"Jeez, you sound just like my mother." The baker deadpanned "But the bright side is, since these are the test batches, you can have all of this-" she gestured to the overfilled pastry box "-for half the price!"

"Bright side begrudgingly accepted!" Luz squealed, pulling the box closer to her and instantly stuffing her mouth like a little gremlin. "Oh my god…" she sputtered through a full mouth "Ooooh my god…" with some struggling, she finally managed to swallow the abundance of food that narrowly fit inside her mouth "This…this is sooooo good~" she sighed dreamily.

Selena laughed "Well if I got the local human's approval, that means I'm doing something good." She noted excitedly "Does it pass your rigorous taste test?"

"It's so good! Like something super familiar, but with a hiiiint of demon realm twang. " She gave her honest review "As the only human of the Isles, I rate you a 10/10 on the human-accurate scale!"

"What an honour! I'll have to put that on a nice plaque!"

Instead of leaving with her hard earned (and discounted) loot, Luz decided to stay, perching herself up on one of the chairs at first, her delicious treasure on the table in front of her, just talking away with the baker. And Selena welcomed the company, feeling giddy at how casual talking to a human would be - truly they were alike, humans and witches, just like she always knew they would be! What a dream come true, and she was more than happy to answer any weird questions about humans Selena had floating around in her head. And Luz enjoyed the attention, as it brought back the feeling of when she first arrived to the Demon Realms, when everything was magical and new and people were curious about her, and there were no evil emperors and or Days of Unity threatening all of the human realm and everything she loved.

And the pastries made her even a little bit homesick, too. But she swallowed that feeling down just as she swallowed those delicious croissants.

"And he's soooo annoying, ugh." Luz blew a raspberry in annoyance. By this point, she had moved from the chair to the sofa in the corner, lounging lazily with her hoodie pulled over her head as she vented "Look at me, I'm the Golden Guard, I'm sooo cool and mysterious with my stupid mask!"

Selena laughed "Yeah, that sounds about right. He is quite full of himself, isn't he?"

Luz blew out more air "Oh yeah, you go to the palace, I forgot." She muttered mostly to herself "So you've met him? Is he always like that?!"

Selena hummed in thought, the story Luz just told her about how the Selkidomus rescue came to be fresh in her mind "Oh, I have. And he is." She poured a fresh cup of tea for Luz and a mug of coffee for herself, placing both on a neat little tray. Making sure to give a sleepy Pip a little pet on the way, she left the counter and carried the tray over to where the human was, placing it on the table for her to take "But he's easy enough to deal with, found out recently he's surprisingly fast to fluster, just by being nice to him."

"Pff, boys. So, so easy." Luz snorted "If he attempts to mess with me again, I'm gonna be the friendliest opponent he's ever come across!"

"That's the spirit, Luz! Kill him with kindness!" The oracle agreed with much enthusiasm "And when that doesn't work, blow him clear off of a building! Kid could use some humbling."

"Ye-ye-ye- yeah ! Violence!"

"He's the one who got me stuck with the palace job, you know." Selena clacked her tongue, lounging dramatically in the worn out wicker chair "My devious bribe -so he'd stop badgering my shop with his bad vibes- backfired horribly once he decided he'd do the noble thing and share the bribe around. And just my luck, the Emperor has a sweet tooth for human food." Shoulders dropping, she sighed "Well, I guess if there is a lesson to learn from this, it's not to bribe government officials." She spoke solemnly, "Nothing good comes of it."

"Weeeell, at least I got all of this half-off!" The younger girl gestured to the food "Luz comes up on top once again!"

A small chuckle escaped Selena, finding Luz's enthusiasm contagious. "If someone has to profit off of my misery, I'm glad it's the coolest human of the Boiling Isles."

"Ah, you're just saying that because I'm the only human of the Boiling Isles." Luz chided her somewhat smugly, finger guns pointed at her direction. Selena just gave a smug grin back, firing back with her own (albeit single) finger gun. "But it is kinda cool, when you think about it!" Luz continued on "You're like a spy on the inside, playing the beautiful and mysterious double agent. Like how Hecate played the double agent after she turned to the side of good and joined with Azura!"

Selena smiled through tightly shut lips, pretending she knew what the girl was talking about. She really hadn't kept up with modern novels, so she had no idea what book the girl could be referencing. Maybe it was a human book? Oh titan, is this what it's like being old? She used to know all the cool books the kids were into back in the day.

"Well I'm not so sure about being a real cool spy . I'm not cool." She let out awkwardly "And it's not like he's out there discussing his plans for the day of Unity with the local baker…"

Luz was on her feet in seconds, playing out the scenario she narrated with much gusto "Ah, but that's where the mysterious and beautiful part comes in!" She dramatically announced "For the Emperor is but a man , and every man in the end is ruled by their heart ." Selena frowned when Luz propped one leg up on the table, making a mental note to clean there "A woman of your beauty is sure to ensnare even the most iron of wills and loosen their lips!"

The Oracle felt heat rush up in to her cheeks and the tip of her ears "...I am…incredibly flattered, but I do not think-"

"Imagine!" Luz cut her off "A beautiful maiden, preparing the food of a mystical, far away realm! Word of her prowess reaches even the evil emperor of the Kingdom, who takes interest in such an exotic, unheard delight!" She narrated so earnestly and passionately, much to Selena's embarrassment "And every day the evil emperor sees her, he grows fonder of the maiden, an enigma, whose eyes enchant him! Eyes he sees in his mind, eyes that keep him awake at night-"

"Luz…"

"And suddenly the Emperor was only a man, with a taste of sweet delights upon his lips-"

Selena groaned and hid her blushing face behind her hands "Oh my titan, Luz… "

"Oh, but alas, she turns out to be working for the rebellion, a woman on the inside, and he fell right for her trap! But he can't stand it, the thought of her being his enemy, the thought of being away from her, it drives him mad , so the evil emperor changes his ways for the maiden of mystery and-

"-and we all wake up from that lovely little dream." Selena finally cut off her tirade. The annoyance in her voice was enough to catch the human off guard, making her stop mid-sentence. Frozen with her fist in the air, she looked like a passionate bard in the middle of a poem. "It's not that I think that wouldn't be a lovely thing - a man like Emperor Belos changing, but men like him do not change, Luz." She said in the kindest voice she could muster "Not for mysterious maidens of unimaginable beauty - which I am not by the way - not for anyone."

She couldn't explain the twinge in her chest when she said that. The oracle attributed it to her so callously denouncing Luz's compliments. 

"Men like him are so set in their ways they would rather drag the whole world with them than to admit they were ever wrong."

Luz's shoulders fell and she slumped back down into her seat, arms crossed "I guess that's another thing the human and demon realm have in common, huh?" She muttered.

Selena sighed "Old men in positions of power they always seem to abuse? Afraid so, kiddo."

~*~*~*~

And suddenly the emperor was only a man…

"Are you alright, Selena?"

The woman in question jerked at the mention of her name, looking up at Belos who called for her in a somewhat worried tone. One more morning spent at the palace, persuaded to spend time with the Emperor, this time with the promise of tea. Awkward as it was, seeing as she was the only one drinking it, Emperor Belos unable to do so on account of his mask.

She felt like a beast at the zoo.

"Ah, I'm fine, I'm fine!" She quickly waved in response "Just a bit spacey, that's all."

The tea was hot when she came to the drawing room, forcing her to sit and wait for it to cool, thus spending more time at the palace. The only saving grace was when she first arrived, Emperor Belos wasn't there yet - he had some affairs to take care of before he could greet her, and he apologised first thing as soon as he arrived. Being forced to accept the tea made her realise she never did see him eat any of the food she brought. Which was weird to think about.

Luz's words echoed in her head once more as she wondered what he looked like under that mask. Only a man, what a concept, so alien to think of the Emperor as just that.

"You know, I got some… glowing reviews recently, and it left me wondering - have you been enjoying the new recipes, Emperor Belos?" Selena asked, holding the saucer steady as she brought the teacup to her lips. Not that she didn’t like tea; quite the contrary! But this early in the morning, a cup of coffee would have suited her much more.

"Each and every one has been an absolute delight." Belos didn't hesitate to shower her with praise "They are the closest I have felt to the human realm in a long, long time. They sate my longing for the realm I visited so many years ago, if just for the few short moments until my meal is done."

Humming into the tea, Selena placed the cup back on the saucer "I'm so glad to hear that." She smiled, and it was an honest one this time. After all, who doesn't like hearing praise, even if it were from him "I've been worried about how accurate my human baking was for a long time, but now, ever since you gave me the journal with your first hand experiences, I've never been more confident."

"Always glad to be of help to a rising artisan such as yourself." He said, and Selena felt the blush rise up her neck.

She broke into a nervous giggle "Ahah, I wouldn't call myself an artisan, now, that's excessive!"  Hiding behind the teacup, she continued "I should get a review from the Golden Guard as well, all of this would look great on a nice wooden plaque in the store window."

A pause "Oh, the Golden Guard?"

There was a sudden scratching sound, too soft for most to hear, but one that Selena recognized too well, one she was attuned to over the years. The fact that the little critters were somehow supernaturally bound to her because of her divination abilities is probably why she could sense them as they seemed to always to call out for her. Her eyes glanced quickly to the window, and saw a moth outside, the size of her fist, bumping against the glass. She knew a warning when she saw one, and realised she may have misspoke. She had no choice, however, but to carry on and try to defuse whatever wrong thing she may have said.

"Mm. I've been giving him some sweets on the side lately. Titan knows he could use the fuel now that he's head of the Emperor's Coven."

There was a low hum coming from the Emperor as he stared her down "I do not remember approving of this, has Hunter asked you to deliver to him?"

Oh, he used his name. That probably wasn't good, the oracle thought, the Emperor rarely lets personal things like that escape him. The Golden Guard was always his title when he spoke of him, and to let out his name so haphazardly must have meant she should have kept her mouth shut.

More scratches. Another glance - there were now four moths at the window.

"Oh, no no, it's my own good will." She tried to rectify the situation "I just have a soft spot for kids; I thought he would appreciate the gesture, he always looks so high-strung!." Putting her hands defensively in front of her she continued "You don't have to worry about the charge, it's a treat on my end!" Goodness gracious, she could hear his jaw clench. She really messed up, hadn't she. And inadvertently, she worried that Hunter might suffer for it. Darius was right, that kid really needed someone to give him support if his own uncle was like this.

"I appreciate your…charity-"

"It's not charity." She quickly quipped, cheerfully as she could. 

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

"What ever you call it, Hunter has no need for sweets and trites, such an indulgence is a distraction."

Selena couldn't stop her jaw from dropping "I am sure a teenager won't be harmed by some pastries, Emperor Belos." the bewildered laugh that she made came out on its own, just shocked so much by the Emperor's words. What a bizarre thing to get worked up over, just because she was giving his nephew sweets on the side? She couldn't take him seriously!

"And I am sure you can do what you are told." The harshness in his voice was one she hadn't heard from him till now, and it made her body freeze up in fear. The instinctual urge of 'flight or fight' was one she had to push down, for neither option was viable right now, no matter how much her body screamed at her to do either. "As the Emperor, and more importantly, as his uncle I hold the right to decide what does or does not harm my ward."

The oracle sat in silence, only the irritating sound of the moths calling to her filling her head. "Play the part" she thought "Sweet and subservient." Like a mantra, she repeated it over and over, but it did little to quell her anger. The frown and gritting teeth started warping her face in to obvious irritation, despite herself. Something about that condescending "I am sure you can do what you are told" rubbed her in all the wrong ways.

It was flight or fight, and oh baby, she was fighting .

Feeling no need to explain herself, she stood up and started gathering her things, making sure to put as much aggression as she could behind her movements. "Well if that is how you feel, Emperor, who am I to disagree with your indisputable knowledge , hm?" She looked up with a glare "After all I am just a baker, what do I know." She had started for the door, making sure to stomp her feet as she walked. Behind her, she heard the Emperor get to his feet, protesting her impertinence, so she stopped in her stride and turned back around to face him "Oh I do, however, know - simple baker that I am - that a gentleman of…" she paused, looking him up and down, noting how his entire body tensed "... your age, shouldn't be indulging in my products as often as you do."

She saw him flinch, just barely "I beg your pardon?!"

"Oh I think you've heard me." She stomped her foot and crossed her arms. "At your big age, why, eating so much sugar and breads is incredibly unhealthy." Selena raised an eyebrow up at him "Perhaps I should limit you to only one delivery a week? That is, if I don't decide to cut you off completely after the rudeness you've shown me-"

Belos, even with the mask, pulled the most aghast expression Selena had seen on a man (a feat in itself, seeing how she couldn't even see his expression), and slowly stalked towards her " My rudeness?!" He guffawed "I think you are mistaken, my dear, the only one who has spoken out of place here today has been you ."

"Oh goodness me, I've spoken out of place!" Selena gasped mockingly "Not so hard to do when having a difference of opinion with the Emperor of the Isles instantly means you've done so!"

The loud thud of the Emperor's hand slamming against the door behind her made her bravado falter, suddenly feeling very trapped. The fear and anger made her shiver and the hair on her arms stand up, so she gripped her forearms harder, pushing nails in, to keep herself grounded somehow.

"Watch your tongue, girl ." Belos hissed, and she swore she could hear something… inhuman in his voice. Something growling beneath, threatening.

But it was too late to give up now, wasn't it? A Fortuna never backs down, no matter what.

"No, you watch your attitude, Emperor." Despite how crowded she was, Belos looming over her and caging her against the door, she carried on, pointing an accusing finger to his face "You know my grandmother, you know how us Fortunas feel about being bossed around!" She puffed her chest and squared her shoulders, hands placed defiantly on her hips, all in an attempt to make herself appear bigger "I didn't ask for your permission to give the boy pastries. I am going to continue doing it, and by the Titan if you speak of this to him and try to reprimand him, I will blacklist all deliveries to the entire palace if I have to!"

She felt like a kitten standing up to a lion, the way his eyes glowered down at her.

"Hunter is a child who deserves an indulgence now and then, if not even more so than you, oh mighty ruler of our land, and I intend to continue giving it to him. And if you, as his uncle, cared for him - for his well being - you would be agreeing with me! Frankly, I am appalled you aren't! Now-" she poked his chest with a single accusing finger, still glaring straight into the somewhat visible eyes behind the mask - he was so damn tall, damn it, her neck was starting to hurt "-you can either accept that, and we continue our lovely little arrangement we have going here. Or, you try to tell me what I can and cannot do, and I never deliver human food to you again ."

Selena kept her every muscle taught in an attempt to quell her shivering, the blasted reaction a clear show of how terrified she was. She got cocky, she got very cocky, but she wasn't about to back down now. The sound of wood splintering to her right grated on her nerves, but attempting to look at the damage he caused to the door would be showing weakness, so she kept her eyes trained on him.

The hand he just removed from the door moved and took hold of her accusatory one that was still pressed to his chest, and Selena was once more reminded of how much bigger his hands were in comparison to hers.

"Well, well." Belos tsk'd loudly, bringing her hand along with him as he straightened his back (and forcing Selena to awkwardly step closer, arm raised high above her head) "I never would have expected claws from someone as…domestic as you."

Selena would have felt insulted, if she wasn't too preoccupied by the fact they were literally chest to chest, his face so close to hers that, if it weren't for the mask, she would have felt his breath fan over her. And his eyes, even in shadows, were so…

Blue.

Swallowing down the gasp, she bit down on the inside of her cheek instead. She was close to him before, yes, but every time the blue of his eyes seemed so...overwhelming.

Thankfully, he gave her some space to breathe before continuing his spiel "I am well aware of the stubbornness your bloodline carries, however with how timid you are, I was almost convinced that trait finally skipped a generation. Seems I was mistaken, hmm?"

And stubborn she was, as she looked to the side in defiance. Seeing her do so, Emperor Belos let go of her hand in lieu of tightly gripping her chin, forcing her to look at him. And he held her there, not saying a thing, as she had nowhere else to look but at the gold of the mask, and the blue of his eyes. Much younger than they should have been. Still, she kept up her glare and her pouted lips, not about to let him know how badly he affected her. If it's a stare-down he wanted, then a stare-down she would give him. It lasted for another ten seconds before he spoke again.

"Fine." Belos let out as he released her from his grip "I'll allow you to keep up with your little tokens of kindness." The oracle exhaled a breath of relief, taking this as a win despite how condescending he sounded. "However, if you ever accuse me of being cruel or uncaring towards my ward, I will not be as tolerant of such claims as I am now." He warned

"Have I made myself clear?"

At least the sound of the persistent moths finally stopped. She glanced at the window again, and there were at least ten of them, now tranquil and no longer flying into the glass.

Fingers ran along her wrist, feeling the heat left over from his tight grip earlier and soothing the dull feeling it left behind "Crystal clear." The oracle let out dryly "I promise not to bring it up…" she gave him a pointed look "...Of course, unless you give me reason to." 

A humourless chuckle came from the Emperor "Careful with your attitude." She swore she could hear the smirk in his tone "You're a darling little thing, but you're not that darling that I'll let you continue to run your mouth with such insolence."

Selena strategically chose not to dignify that with a response.

As Emperor Belos dismissed her and turned to walk away, she turned to the door with the intent on leaving as fast as possible, deeming that spending another second in that room was going to drive her insane. And as she did, she could see where his hand was, where she heard the splintering wood, and felt her gut drop. Dented into the wood, as if made by claws, deep and violent, one deep scratch for each of his fingers. Exactly to the right of where her head was, exactly where his hand held her caged.

And suddenly, she wondered, was he only a man?

~*~*~*~

Bonus ending!

[freddie-mercury-rising]

Seinfeld/Queen mash-up (this is the first scene of my Seinfeld mash-up. What do you think? Should I continue?)

[location: Monk's. Jerry and George are sitting in their usual both.]

JERRY: Well, today’s the day, Georgie-boy. Today, I pick up Queen from the airport. 

GEORGE: Queen Elizabeth!? 

JERRY: No, no. Queen. The band. You know, Freddie Mercury. I told you this! 

GEORGE: Oh, yeah, right. Wow, Queen. How’d you get to do that again?

JERRY: My father used to sell raincoats with a guy who ended up being the father of the manager of the band. 

GEORGE: Small world.

JERRY: Speaking of small, my apartment is—kind of small. 

GEORGE: Yeah?

JERRY: How would you feel about hosting a real life rock star?

GEORGE: (sighing) Oh, Jerry, don’t ask me this. That’s a lot of pressure! Besides, they’re a world famous rock band. Can’t they stay at some expensive hotel?

JERRY: They want the authentic New York experience. In fact, Kramer agreed to host one of them. 

GEORGE: (sarcastically) Well, then they’ll definitely get the New York experience.

JERRY: Come on, George. It’ll be fun. 

GEORGE: Fun? How will this be fun, Jerry? I’ll be worried if my apartment is good enough. I’ll have to entertain them the whole time. Not fun. Elaine enters and approaches the booth.

ELAINE: (claps her hands excitedly) So, where are they? 

JERRY: They arrive this evening. 

ELAINE: (squeals) Oh, this is exciting! I’m excited! I’ve already set up my bedroom. I’ll sleep on the couch. Oh, Jerry, this is great. (slides into the booth)

JERRY: Tell that to George, here. He’s not so enthusiastic. 

ELAINE: (picks up a menu) What do you care? It’s not like you have anything better to do.

GEORGE: As a matter of fact, I’m supposed to go on a date this evening. 

JERRY: The college student? 

GEORGE: (nods) Yes, Jerry. I’ve finally got a date with a college woman. 

ELAINE: (rolls her eyes) 

JERRY: Hey, George, wouldn’t a college girl be impressed that you’re going to have a member of Queen in your house?

GEORGE: (perks up) Oh my God! You’re right. 

ELAINE: (scoffs) Oh, brother. 

GEORGE: No, no, this is perfect. I’ll casually mention that I’ve got a world famous rock star in my house, and bada-boom, I’m not so much of a loser anymore. 

ELAINE: Oh, you’re still a loser. Anyway, Queen isn’t necessarily cool, is it? I mean, it’s not like Guns N’ Roses or anything.

GEORGE: Guns N’ Roses? Elaine, you have to be kidding. Where do you get off comparing Freddie Mercury to Axel Rose? 

ELAINE: I’m not comparing! I’m just saying, a college student is probably into something other than Queen…

GEORGE: (not paying attention, claps his hands) I gotta get down to the record store and stock up on Queen albums! 

JERRY: I take it you’re going to host one of the guys after all.

GEORGE: Absolutely, Jerry. Anything for a friend. 

JERRY: (shakes his head) Oh, by the way, Elaine. I figured you’d host Roger Taylor, the drummer.

ELAINE: (Looks up) Oh, no, I don’t think so. He’s too good-looking. I’d be uncomfortable. 

JERRY: Uncomfortable because he’s too good looking? 

ELAINE: Yeah, what if he tries to make a move? 

JERRY: I’d figure you’d enjoy that.

ELAINE: No, Jerry. I am a lot of things, but I’m not a groupie. 

JERRY: (sighs) Okay, then George, you take Roger. 

GEORGE: Perfect! He’s a drummer. They’re always the coolest. This is really coming together. (rubs his hands together)

JERRY: Kramer requested John Deacon.

GEORGE: Who’s he? 

JERRY: The bassist. Kramer wants some pointers on the bass guitar.

ELAINE: Kramer plays bass?

JERRY: No. (takes a sip of coffee)

GEORGE: So I assume Freddie is staying with you? 

JERRY: Naturally. 

GEORGE: Aren’t you afraid he’ll…

JERRY: What?

GEORGE: You know…(makes face)

ELAINE: Yeah, George, what?

GEORGE: Oh, you know. Make a move? (Adds quickly) Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

JERRY: Oh, no. I didn’t even think of that. 

ELAINE: God, George. That was a dumb thing to say. He’s a rock star. He’s not gonna want Jerry.

GEORGE: Good point.

JERRY: Hey! He might want me. 

GEORGE: You wish.

[scene]

[evaofkonoha]

A few unhinged thoughts I wrote out and it's my blog so I'm sharing:

Sometimes, I wonder if my works mean something to someone. Like, they read something I wrote, and it hit them. They felt seen by it, or it provided some sense of comfort, or related to a life experience they have had, or it just hit everything they like. Because sure "I write for myself yadda yadda," but like, did I create something that actually means something to someone?

Because I have read things like that, and I get so excited when I read something that just really hits just right. Like, I never knew this existed before, but now I know it does and my life is different and better because of it.

And how do I express that in a way that isn't overbearing/overwhelming/whatever? I have a tendency to leave over-enthusiastic comments, but I recently had the epiphany that some people might actually hate getting that kind of stuff. It might be a little too much, or kind of awkward to get this gushing comment on a work (or tumblr ask, whatever). Especially on an older work. And if I am beginning to feel this way, do other readers maybe feel this way too?

On the other hand, if we don't tell people, how will they ever know that we love and appreciate what they have done?

As an author, I always get so excited to get a really enthusiastic comment, or dm (which I have gotten before and love just as much). I guess it goes back to the question of "has my work left and impact on someone," because a reader reaching out like that would have to suggest the answer is "yes."

But if I am feeling like I have to practically beg in an A/N for interaction, is it authentic? Would I rather have nothing than inauthentic interaction? (Yes). There's a lot to unpack here, but I'm not going to, I just don't want to rn.

I write niche shit. Like, super niche. I get it if I don't get much traction, I am pretty comfortable with thay fact. I write what I want to write, and most of it doesn't have mass appeal. While I hate to admit it--and it makes me sound very whiny, I know--I can't help but have doubts when I throw something out there and... nothing. It leaves me wondering if it's just not that good, if I'm the only one having an experience, holding an interest, or even really left in an area of fandom. I know I'm not, but I think we all have these unfortunate thoughts that creep up on us sometimes, getting a chokehold on insecurities and purpose and passion.

Doubts are normal, they are. Sometimes, they really pull me under, not going to lie. That fear that nothing I do matters, that it doesn't mean anything. It's not about numbers or kudos or any of that crap, it's about connection. Is what I am writing connecting? With myself? With others? Is it even something I need to be stressing over? (Probably not, but here we are).

I think it is important to not sugarcoat all this though, because if these things aren't expressed, they can't be shared, and that leaves me--and anyone else feeling this way--feeling alone.

This is pretty rambly, but it is something I have been thinking about a lot, reflecting on fandom and community and passion and what the point of all this is. I love to write, it is truly one of my greatest passions, but I think sharing my writings and the social aspect of all this is what has really been so special to me. I have made some wonderful fandom friends--through comments sections, tumblr dms, discord, and so on--that have made this experience coming back into fandom so much richer. Again, it's that connection aspect. I don't know if I would still be going this strong if I hadn't, and didn't continue to make, friends who love all this too. So, I am very overly beyond thankful for those who have shown me so much love. I am glad we have connected. It helps fight these doubts on purpose and shit.

There is not definite conclusion to any of this, it's all just the ramblings of a hyper-self-aware hobby writer. lol. :)

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

business and relationships

when I think about the freelance business

I want to create with my talent

and diverse but particular set of skills

the worst part about all of it for me

was thinking about the relationship aspect

in all the other jobs I've had besides being a parent

the ones where I was paid to be part of

a situation that felt again like a dysfunctional family

and they always called themselves a family

and they acted exactly like the one I knew

I was always on the front lines of abuse

from customers who knew they had authority

I'd have to give into their demands

with a smile on my face and words of diplomacy

that I never felt and only disempowered me

and while I am never going to claim to have

the best design skills or the even the best creativity

the best voice or best perspective or best service

I do know that I'm fucking good

I do know that I pour myself into good connections

I do know that I think differently than most people

that I know or come into contact with

I do know that I can hype up and understand

the dreams and energy behind dreams and ideas

and I know how to be a really good friend

especially if the energy is reciprocated

so instead of thinking of things in transactional ways

which in relationships was what I mostly knew

I could think of it as more as an artist friend

here to help you create something delightful

and I just happen to have the skills to make it great too

instead of seeing my business as just a way to survive

I drew a picture of a tree with all its branches

and fruit and leaves and roots and trunk

my design skills and services are just the trunk

my voice and perspective and imagination are the fruits

my experience and development and education

are the spiraling roots I'll keep giving nutrients

but my ability to be an encouraging friend

that gives someone an environment that offers

both stability and support for authentic expression

that's something not everyone can do

or even conceive in some ways

I seem to have learned from the best

when it comes to being that didn't I?

I would have never known what I was missing

until someone showed me what that was

I get to choose my relationships

and navigate my own business according to

my own preferences and capacity and selection

and there's a freedom and power in that

that I've never really known before

in the world outside my own four walls

I didn't know what I was missing

and I was working from the wrong blueprint

drawing the picture of that tree and labeling it

helped me connect with that youthful but ancient

part of myself to rewire everything I thought I knew

and that's something I can offer to others

who can't just do that naturally for themselves

in a safe and enthusiastic environment

and their own ideas and desires can bloom

I can offer that as a premium service

and I'll be worth every cent

[prettyboysnuffilm]

I think i should probably warn you that english is not my first language so i apologize for any grammar mistakes, sometimes i can’t find the right words and have to improve but hopefully it’s not that bad. i agree with what you said about scream 6. my hopes for scream 7 are not very high, unless they’ll bring stu or jill back or add some insane plot twist. we’ll see. it really depends but as of right now, I prefer “older” movies (lets say 80-2010’s) . they seems more authentic. i hate to say it but i think the scream franchise should’ve been stopped after the triology or at least after the fourth one. making too many movies of the same franchise means a bigger chance of messing them up (thinking about final destination, saw, or for example one of my favourite movies “the butterly effect”. the second and third one are so so bad.) my best friend is a huge cinema enthusiast but i don’t always agree with her opinions. for example she refuses to watch any movie made after 2015 (huge mistake if you ask me) and she loves those shitty cheap modern slasher movies you described. i’ve always been more interested in music (you wouldn’t believe how long my scream influenced playlists are) than cinematography but i recently rediscovered my love for films through scream. before, i’ve always been more of a tv show person. i heard there’s a scream netflix show but from what I’ve seen, i’m not too interested in watching it. i totally get what you said about gender envy, billy kind of gives me that feeling (it’s gotta be those curtain bangs and dark eyes) but also matthew lillard in senseless… has me going insane. like do i want you or want to be you? has to be both… not to fetishise them but they’ve given me the “the lesbian urge to be a gay man” except i’m unlabelled. stu is someone i’m both in love with and can identify with. he has a special place in my heart. billy’s way of dealing with things is so me except i won’t go as far as murdering my friends. billy is probably my winter aka seasonal depression personality. stu is me on good days. funny as hell but still a psycho lol. i feel like i’m the perfect mix of both billy and stu, if they were able to have biological children, i would be the outcome. i’ve started reading debaser like a week ago and i’ve just finished it and god- what a hell of a rollercoaster ride. i think i love it more than the movie itself, it’s given me such a better insight in their personalities and it describes them perfectly. i haven’t started wave of mutilation yet.. now i’m scared of reading it. don’t tell me they die. well anyways, thank you for your insight, it’s nice to chat about similar interests, unfortunately none of my friends get hyperfixations so they would just call me insane if i started talking about something too much. id you ever wanna talk about scream, stuilly, movies, books, music or whatever.. it’d be an honor.

P.S. i’m debating if i should keep sending anons of come off anon.. and don’t feel forced to answer, i’m just getting my thoughts out and it’s weirdly comfortable sending these

- t~

hey no worries, turns out that english isn't my first language either u don't have to apologize for grammar mistakes or typos, rlly. I couldn't tell that english wasn't your first language tbh. i'm not that hyped about scream 7 either, the upcoming existence of that movie feels pointless and it's like, they're bringing back old tropes all the time. i'm not in the "i want Stu back" team, i love doomed gay ships and i like the concept of them dying together. (have you read the "og" Scream script? Billy and Stu were supposed to die next to each other and i think that's the most romantic thing ever, haha) I also love old movies! 70's-80's-90's horror movies are some of the best, imo. I also stand with the idea of Scream being just a trilogy and about franchises that end up aging badly. I've only seen the first Final Destination movie and the first three Saw movies but i agree with you, sometimes less is better than a bunch of sequels. (I haven't seen the butterfly effect but i'm going to add that one to my watchlist! I always appreciate movie recs) When it comes to horror franchises Hellraiser and Nightmare on Elm Street are the ones that i enjoy their movies past the third one tho! I agree with you about your friend, there's many great movies (not only in the horror genre) made after 2015, so your friend is missing some pretty good stuff. For example, 2024 it's been a great year for horror with the releasing of longlegs and the substance, which i really enjoyed. It's never too late to discover a passion for cinema so i'm happy for you! I'm not interested in the scream netflix show either, i'm definitely not watching it at all haha. I'm a music person too, and i'm also very dedicated to my Scream playlists, they're like... my babies and i have them on loop 24/7. OH. OH. yeah. Matthew Lillard in senseless... cheff kiss. Big gender envy. Stu doesn't give me gender envy BUT- Matthew Lillard in Animal Room, SLC Punk, Senseless, Serial Mom and Hackers give me the biggest gender envy, it's simply unreal omfg. And yeah hahaha, you're basically like the Stuilly lovechild, i totally get that. The characterization in Debaser is top tier, it's so well written, the accuracy to the 90's is on point, all the movie and music references... it's like a must read if you're into stuilly imo. You should DEFINITELY read Wave of Mutilation, i've been following the updates and waiting patiently for them and anytime there's a new update i feel like i'm walking on clouds for many many days. I'm gonna be honest with you, Wave of Mutilation is not a bed of roses, it's angsty but it's so good and there's a lot of chapters yet to come. It's definitely worth it, i love Wave of Mutilation because i'm 100% a masochist and i love angst and drama. I'm not gonna say anything else because i don't wanna spoil you the plot. But yeah. Read it. You won't regret it. 👀

And don't worry, it's also so nice to chat and ramble, i'm having a great time replying to your asks, really :) and i love to talk about stuilly and music and movies. If you don't feel comfortable sending asks off anon you can always DM me here or you can ask me for my discord instead so it's not /that/ public.

[elsie--young]

Discovering Cocoa Beach: A Realistic Guide to Sightseeing!

When I first arrived at Cocoa Beach, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Sure, I had read all the brochures, watched a couple of YouTube videos, and browsed some travel blogs, but nothing prepared me for the real experience. Cocoa Beach, known as the "Space Coast" due to its proximity to the Kennedy Space Center, offers so much more than just a typical beach day. If you're planning a visit, let me walk you through what I experienced, so you can make the most of your Cocoa Beach sightseeing adventure.

Problem: Overcrowded Tourist Spots

One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced during my travels is dealing with overcrowded tourist spots. Don’t get me wrong—I love a good crowd, but sometimes it can ruin the experience. I had heard Cocoa Beach could get busy, especially during peak season, so I was worried about missing out on the authentic charm of the place.

Agitation: Missing the Real Cocoa Beach

When a place gets too crowded, it’s easy to miss out on what really makes it special. The true essence of a destination can get lost among the throngs of tourists, long lines, and overbooked attractions. I didn’t want my Cocoa Beach experience to be just another stop on the tourist trail. I wanted something real—something that would give me a true sense of what this place is all about.

Solution: Cocoa Beach Sightseeing—The Real Deal

So, what’s the solution? I decided to dig a little deeper, explore beyond the typical tourist attractions, and find the Cocoa Beach that the locals love. And let me tell you—it was worth it.

Early Morning at the Cocoa Beach Pier

My day started early at the Cocoa Beach Pier, a historical landmark that dates back to 1962. I arrived around 7:00 AM, just as the sun was rising. The pier stretches 800 feet over the Atlantic Ocean, and at that hour, it was peaceful and serene. The pier is more than just a place to fish or grab a bite—it's a hub of activity with restaurants, shops, and even live music on the weekends. But in the early morning, it was just me, the ocean, and a handful of locals casting their lines.

Exploring the Kennedy Space Center

Next on my list was the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex, just a 30-minute drive from Cocoa Beach. This place is a must-see, especially if you're a space enthusiast like me. I spent about four hours here, and it wasn’t nearly enough. The highlight? Definitely the Space Shuttle Atlantis exhibit. Standing inches away from a real space shuttle was nothing short of awe-inspiring. The visitor complex also offers a bus tour of NASA’s launch facilities, which is a great way to see where history was made.

Taking a Break at Lori Wilson Park

After the Kennedy Space Center, I needed a break. I headed back to Cocoa Beach and found my way to Lori Wilson Park. This 32.43-acre park offers free parking, which is a rarity in beach towns, and a beautiful stretch of beach that’s far less crowded than the main strip. The park also has picnic areas, a dog park, and nature trails, making it a great spot to relax and recharge.

A Quick Stop at the Florida Surf Museum

Being in Cocoa Beach, the “Surfing Capital of the East Coast,” I couldn’t resist stopping by the Florida Surf Museum. Located inside the Ron Jon Surf Shop, the museum is small but packed with history. I spent about 45 minutes here, learning about the evolution of surf culture on the East Coast. It’s a quick stop, but definitely worth it if you’re interested in surfing or local history.

Wrapping Up the Day with Sunset at the Thousand Islands

I wrapped up my day with a kayaking tour of the Thousand Islands, a group of small mangrove islands in the Indian River Lagoon. The tour lasted about two hours, and it was the perfect way to end my Cocoa Beach sightseeing adventure. As the sun set, the water turned a deep shade of orange, and we even spotted a few dolphins playing in the distance. It was a moment of pure tranquility that perfectly captured the natural beauty of Cocoa Beach.

Conclusion: Cocoa Beach Sightseeing is More Than Just a Beach Day

In the end, my Cocoa Beach sightseeing experience was everything I hoped for and more. It wasn’t just about soaking up the sun—although I did plenty of that—it was about discovering the unique character of this beautiful part of Florida. From the historical Cocoa Beach Pier to the awe-inspiring Kennedy Space Center and the peaceful Thousand Islands, there’s so much to see and do. So, if you’re planning a trip to Cocoa Beach, I highly recommend going beyond the usual tourist spots. You won’t regret it.

Remember, the key to a great Cocoa Beach sightseeing experience is to explore, stay curious, and take the time to enjoy the little moments.

[tejkamble]

Industry Practice 9

I was really amazed by this post, "Building a Mediaeval Castle with 3ds Max, Substance 3D Painter, and Unreal Engine 5"! It delves deeply into the construction process of this amazing mediaeval castle, from the first concept to the final product in the game. Being an art enthusiast and a game designer (particularly of open-world games), I was eager to see how they accomplished it all.

I was really interested in how they combined a number of different programmes, sort of like Legos for grownups! They made use of Unreal Engine 5, Substance 3D Painter, and 3ds Max. Because each one of them had a unique ability, when combined, they were able to build this amazing-looking fortress far more quickly than if they had done it by hand. It piques my curiosity to find out more about these instruments and how I may use them to my own work!

The most amazing feature of this castle is how lifelike it appears. Like any authentic mediaeval builder, they were extremely meticulous. Everything appears to be from that era, from the enormous walls to the minute engravings on the stones. It gives you the impression that you are actually there, exploring a genuine castle. I want to instill the same kind of commitment to accuracy in my own gaming worlds.

The textures of the castle were painted using a programme called Substance 3D Painter. It's far more detailed than giving the castle a skin. They might create a rusted appearance for the metal, a worn-out look for the stone, and any combination in between. The little touches are what give the castle a more authentic sense than merely a large model. This inspires me to study more about Substance 3D Painter in order to achieve that level of realism in my own works.

The final piece of the jigsaw is how the castle was able to have a realistic feel thanks to Unreal Engine 5. The warm glow of torches and the way shadows extend from the tall towers are examples of the lights and shadows they added. It really alters the atmosphere of the location. It's now more than simply a model; you may enter and explore this environment. I want to get really good at using lighting to create that type of wonder in my own game designs.

The amount of skill and effort that goes into creating the incredible settings we see in video games is demonstrated in this article, "Building a Mediaeval Castle in 3ds Max, Substance 3D Painter & Unreal Engine 5." They created a castle that is mind-blowing and a testament to what can be accomplished by drawing inspiration from history and utilising the newest techniques. Projects like these will serve as motivation for me as a game artist as I continue to learn and develop. They encourage me to build even more immersive environments that gamers won't soon forget.

Reference: Aisa, H. (2022b, August 3). Creating a medieval castle in 3DS Max, Substance 3D Painter & Unreal Engine 5. https://80.lv/articles/creating-a-medieval-castle-in-3ds-max-substance-3d-painter-unreal-engine-5/

[banjjakz]

I keep on forgetting to tell you about my Visceral reaction to the last chapters of the serial bereavements ! I was the anon who'd found Shoko suspicious right from the start then did a little victory dance when that was confirmed lol. I'm also having lots of Final Girl thoughts rn (I've used my brain so hard this afternoon while reading the last updates) but I'll get to them in another ask !

Would you believe me if I told you that I was about to get in the shower when I got the notification for the third chapter of the serial bereavements? Real bad bitch shit is when you're wrapped in your towel, phone out, having logged into Ao3 and staring abismally at the screen while covering your mouth in horror as you read chapter 3 ! Grabbed my face in my hands in apprehension, gasped a ridiculous amount of times (especially during that one memorable Nanami sequence...) sweating cold, heart racing. All the good stuff. Istg my heart stopped beating during Yuuta's appearance. Pictured it vividly in my mind, "katana tearing through muscle" SFX included, and got chills all over my body 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that scene was NERVE RACKING I fucking loved it !!! reader calling for yuuta to come save her repeatedly was brilliant storytelling wise (?) I mean it as in, sure I expected him to arrive and pull some off-putting illegal immoral move (tucks hair behind ear) eventually but the tension n the scene build up were so marvellously done that I sort of forgot abt it at the moment! Could really feel readers despair and began doubting that he'd really appear... And maybe this is just me but the way Nanami was written during his final moments made Yuuta come over as a saint and a saviour LOL ! Oh poor desperate Nanami.... the grabbing, crawling up the stairs while injured, his otherwise calm demeanor during sessions suddenly replaced by his wide eyed horrorized stare and fear-driven behaviour... as opposed to yuuta !!! who's so calmly stabs him and comforts reader. It's incredible! Oh and I also completely loved reader being just as mental as Yuuta at the end lol. Thank you for writing The Serial Bereavements !!! frightened me to no end and might just be one of my fav yuuta fics so far!!!

UEUEUEUEUEUEUEUE I SQUEALED FOR JOY WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX AHHHHHH HIIII

wow!!! that my writing left such an impression on you is quite humbling. and flattering! i remember getting your ask right when i first started posting chapters for serial bereavement and i was like ohhhhh fuckkk noooooo someone's already figured it out LOL but i hope i was at least able to sufficiently surprise you/engage you in just how things came to shake out the way that they did ^_^

and thank you for your kind words on the nanami sequence! i struggled quite a bit trying to write it, actually. action and fight scenes are not my forte, but i'm trying to hone that ability a bit more -- you know, being a horror/suspense/thriller author, and all. glad to know it turned out alright!

hehe and much thanks for noticing the intentional foiling between nanami & yuuta during the fight scene. i wonder if people were convinced that all of those crazed ramblings about reader that were found in his study were truly authentic... or was it the result of more meddling... and if so... by who? ehehehe

as for reader's abnormality, i am personally a fan of enthusiastically consensual noncon. a willing reader, to me, makes for much more of an interesting narrative. so much to do there. so much to explore. a lot of fleshing out!

yay for frightening you! that's always the goal!!!! thank you so so so so so incredibly much not only for reading, but for continuing to vocalize (errrr... write out?) your enthusiastic support. it's notes like these that spur me on to keep writing, one day with the hope & dream of publishing a piece of public-facing fiction.

wishing you all the best!

[happysandwichsuit]

15 Hilarious Videos About replica handbags online

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