#germany wants to invade france first and then russia because russia slow af

[that-fellow-from-dres]

Honestly funnier than the whole train incident though is the fact that the assassination of Franz Ferdinand (the thing that literally started WWI) was only successful because one of the guys decided to get a sandwich

So the first attempt was really fuckin bungled;

The first two guys chickened out, and the third guy threw a grenade...

That exploded under the wrong car.

That guy then decides to commit el unalive to avoid interrogation, but the cyanide pill he took was out of date, and when he jumped in the river it was only 10cm (4 inches) deep.

So one of the other guys, his name's Gavrilo, ain't feelin too fresh after he fucked up, and he goes to get a sandwich.

Franz Ferdinand's car takes a wrong turn and literally ends up stopping right in front of the sandwich bar Gavrilo's at. (one source says the driver was trying to figure out the route, another says they straight up break down in front of the dude, not sure.)

At this point it's a sign from the universe that you gotta bonk this guy, so Gavrilo pulls out his gun and shoots Franz Ferdinand and his wife. Job's a good'un.