#german teen gagging

[omgthatdress]

Barbie made her debut in 1959. The way she was sold then is a little different than the way she's sold now. These days, individual Barbies come with their own unique looks & usually some kind of unique function or accessories. You can buy clothes separately, but those looks are still secondary to the expectation of buying a lot of Barbies. Back in the day, you bought the one Barbie and then bought her clothes separately. This is why back then Barbie came with a bunch of friends and always came wearing a swimsuit.

The oft-memed origin story for the classic Barbie is that she was modeled on a German sex doll named Lili, which is only partially true. In the 50s, most dolls available for girls were baby dolls that primed girls for being a wife and mother. Fashion dolls were a thing but they were generally more reserved for adults.

Ruth Handler, who co-founded Mattel with her husband and served as its president from 1945-1973 (#girlboss much?), got the idea of making an adult doll for girls when she'd see her daughters playing with paper dolls. Instead of playing with babies, they chose teen-aged and adult paper dolls and played fantasized versions of adulthood. Then, on a trip to Germany, Ruth saw a Lili doll in a store, and asked her daughters what they'd think of playing with a doll like that. Apparently, they liked the idea.

Lili the doll wasn't an inflatable fuck doll. She was based on a popular comic strip character Lili created by Reinhard Beuthien and published in the Hamburg-based Bild Zeitung. Lili was a buxom gold-digger seducing her way through the wealthy men of post-war West Germany.

The comic was definitely adult-oriented, and the doll it created was a popular bachelor party gag gift.

The introduction of a doll with breasts did cause *some* controversy, but it was more pearl-clutching rather than tremendous cultural outrage. Barbie was actually an immediate hit. She fit in very well to late 50s ideals of femininity. I've heard it said before that parents liked her because she helped little girls get into the beauty, fashion, and level of grooming that she would need to catch a husband. IDK if that was intentional, but it seems to fit very well.

I don't want to get into whether or not Barbie is this huge feminist icon or not because, well, she's a toy. I think Ruth Handler was an incredibly smart businesswoman who saw a market demand and met it. Barbie is about the power of fantasy and imagination, and anything that people see in her are the things they want to see in her.

In her incredible multitude of careers, she also holds up an impossible and toxic standard of beauty. Mattel has always been very aware of Barbie's image. I'm pretty sure that the reason Mattel hated "Barbie Girl" so much wasn't because it was wink-wink sexual, but because it nailed the popular stereotype of the time that Barbie was this fake, plastic bimbo who was an unhealthy role model for girls (go listen to Aquarium, now!).

The recent years of Barbie taking on a more empowering, feminist, and diverse lean is because Mattel is simply correcting course and keeping up with the times. Honestly, they've done a very good job of it, but I'm not going to kid myself into thinking they're doing anything other than maximizing profits.

I love me some Barbie but I was always an AG girl, ngl. However, I think Barbie and her cultural context are still incredibly fascinating and worth taking a look at.

[noxiatoxia]

What do you think about kokichis hat / whole design controversy ? You seem like a dangan expert so i want to know your 2 cents

So, this is going to be a bit of a history lesson.

Kokichi is very obviously supposed to be a Nazi reference. That's pretty undeniable. From the SS Officer Visor to the Grape Fanta parody (Fanta having been created by Nazi Germany) it is very much an intentional reference.

This is where culture shock comes into play.

Please note as you read I am not attempting to make a statement on if this is "okay" or "bad" - I am simply presenting the facts of the matter.

As you can imagine, WWII is taught differently depending on where you're from. America, Germany, Italy, Japan, etc. A country will typically focus on its own perspective of events. This not only influences the narrative, but what parts of history are most focused on. For example, in Germany, it is often cited that they focus very heavily on Nazism and Hitler, and reinforce the tragedies they were responsible for. American schools will focus on a more general overview, with a lesson maybe on the atomic bombings they committed (and condemning their actions).

So for Japan, it's obviously different, too.

You can read some personal accounts on threads like this one and this one. But it mostly boils down to this: because a country will mostly focus on their own personal experience when teaching about a historical event, in this case, Nazism is not covered nearly as much in a Japanese curriculum as it would be in an American or German one.

This article from 2015, titled "What is the Nazi Chic Fashion and why is it spreading in Asia?" has a good excerpt, which I'll translate (the article is in Japanese):

しかし、Kidd氏が、欧米のマーケットよりも遥かにナチ・シックが急速に広がっている、と話すアジアのファッション・マーケットでは、ナチのシンボルが繰り返し使われている背景にあるものは異なる。ヒトラーと結び付いた文化的ハードルは低く、かぎ十字を身につけてもショックは本質的に大きくない。

However, according to Kidd, "Nazi Chic" is spreading much, much more rapidly in the Asian fashion market compared to the Western fashion market. However, the context behind the repeated usage of Nazi symbols is different to that of the Western market. The cultural hurdles of wearing something associated with Hitler are much lower, and not intrinsically all that shocking.

This is evident in many pieces of media meant for children or teens. Please think to yourself if you've encountered a piece of Western media made for children or young teens that depicts Nazism or Hitler in a comedic or stylish fashion. Personally, I cannot think of any.

But that is not the same in Japan. For example, the 1995 movie Dragon Ball Z: Fusion Reborn has a scene where the characters Goten and Trunks fight a caricature of Hitler.

Or Ouran High School Host Club, a 2002-2010 manga and 2006 anime, had not just a gag in the anime depicting an all-girl school as Nazis, but a piece of art drawn by the Mangaka herself of the main characters wearing Nazi Chic fashion.

Of course, this is not to say Japan is a-okay with Nazi imagery as a whole. Like any country, citizens have their own views and opinions. There are plenty of Japanese citizens who do not think this type of fashion style is okay. Much like how in America, there are people who think humorous depictions of Hitler are fine. I am just bringing these up to say, from a cultural standpoint, this subject is handled slightly differently.

That takes us back to Kokichi. Kokichi is definitely supposed to be reference to Nazi Germany. But I think it's much clearer now that it's not intended to be malicious. Making jokes or fashion statements out of this is more socially acceptable relative to the west. You still have the right to find it uncomfortable or not okay if it personally bothers you, but I am just explaining why this came to be, why it is not intended to be malicious, and why it was allowed.

I hope you find it informative. :]

[edgy-ella]

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice thoughts

Overall I really liked it! This is definitely Burton’s best outing in years. His signature quirky sense of humor is back, and it’s got some fun performances and a nice blend of practical effects and CGI. Go see it if you can.

From here on out I’m gonna get into spoiler territory so proceed with caution.

This movie along with the original Beetlejuice have made me realize that one of Burton’s unsung strengths as a director is his strong pacing. Both movies are very zippy, never lingering on one shot or scene for too long. That’s a good thing, too, because I don’t think this movie would’ve worked otherwise. The script juggles a lot of characters, old and new, and subplots that don’t tie in very well to each other, leading to a climax that feels like everyone lining up to get a slap in the face before exiting stage left. Burton’s directorial touches—snappy pacing and cartoony German Expressionism visuals—are what make the movie work.

There’s some sequel gap syndrome at play here but it’s not very distracting. I think it helps that there is a huge time skip between the two movies rather than something like Psychonauts 2 which takes place literally the next day after the first game ends. You don’t really question how Beetlejuice unshrunk his head or how he has a bunch of other shrunken head people working for him now; so much time has passed that you can just sort of infer it on your own. That being said, the movie seems to have abandoned the concept of afterlife social workers all being suicide victims.

There is meta humor but it’s all very subtle. It’s never a big punchline where the actors pause for the audience to laugh, it’s always incorporated into the dialogue fairly naturally and there for people in the know to chuckle at. One character says that she’s “never doing Disney again” while talking about Halloween costumes. Neither of my friends picked up on this bit, but I got a nice giggle out of that one. Like you go Tim you’re finally out of your abusive relationship with the mouse.

For those of you that have seen the musical, it is a little distracting early on in the movie because it seems like Lydia and Astrid’s character arc is the exact same one that Charles and Lydia go through in the musical. The kid’s got a dead parent and living parent won’t talk about them, which becomes a source of tension. Astrid doesn’t go running into the Netherworld to find her dad like Lydia does for her mom in the musical, but strangely enough, she just…kinda bumps into him? It’s very strange. He’s working for customs in the afterlife and they just so happen to pass by each other as Astrid is nearly sent to the great beyond. I’m too tired right now to go into what this kind of thing means thematically.

Jenna Ortega gives a good performance as Astrid, but I wasn’t really sold on her character. I appreciate that she’s not just Lydia 2.0, but the Snarky Politically Active Teen Who’s Above All Of The Superficial Blonde Girls™ has been done to death already. I don’t see her having the same cultural impact that Lydia had when the first movie came out.

Monica Bellucci’s character, Beetlejuice’s ex-wife Delores, honestly feels like trailer fodder. She suffers the most from the movie’s lack of focus, especially for how much she’s hyped up at the beginning. Once again, she gives a good performance, but the script isn’t doing her any favors. Bizarrely enough, they didn’t really keep the gag of Beetlejuice keeping her chopped off finger/wedding ring? She’s still missing a finger, but she doesn’t get it back from Beetlejuice. It’s just there with the rest of her. She staples it back onto her body the same time she does her torso and legs.

One of the writers definitely has a pregnancy kink. There’s a couple of those “the writer’s poorly disguised fetish” moments in the movie, which honestly got a laugh out of me for how blatant they were. Congrats guys, you got to see Winona Ryder and Jenna Ortega give birth. There’s also an inflation scene, but that only happened once, not twice.

Lydia is shown taking either antidepressants or schizophrenia meds, which her fiancé throws in the trash in like the first scene of the movie which just made me think of that scene in the Fnaf movie where Vanessa throws Mike’s sleeping pills in the lake.

On a similar note, there’s a shot that is more or less frame for frame that scene from the Casper movie where Kat and Casper start levitating while they’re dancing. It even serves basically the same narrative purpose. Seeing it gave me whiplash. You can’t do this to me Tim.

Kind of related to the meta humor, but I got a kick out of how they wrote Jeffery Jones (the actor that played Charles) out of the movie. I mean, they definitely had to, but still. We see Charles’ death through a pretty goofy stop motion segment, and in the afterlife he’s walking around without a head (presumably played/voiced by a different actor). Conversely, the Maitlands (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) don’t show up at all. Lydia says that they “found a loophole and were able to pass on” and that’s it. I wish they got a stop motion segment the same way Charles did.

Bob is my goat. He’s very Sir Dan-coded. He did not deserve the fate this movie gave him.

I wouldn’t say I prefer this movie over the original, but my god, it’s leaps and bounds better than all the remakes, reboots, and gap-sequels we’ve been getting for the last ten years. It could’ve benefitted from a tighter script, but in a movie like this that’s not really what matters. It’s dark, it’s funny, it’s charming, it’s memorable. It doesn’t feel forced or corporate the same way that movies like Hocus Pocus 2 or that new Indiana Jones movie do. It’s worth a watch.

[tf2-oneshots]

(1/3) A three in one request with MediScout, DemoSniper and EngieSpy, where Scout and Demo are play arguing( which happens every weekend in private, because if either of their partners knew about it, they would never hear the end of it.) about who's partner is the better support, with both Impersonal ("He healed me which enabled me to snag a point" or "He headshot the enemy Soldier to save me the trouble of respawn") and Personal points in each argument  ("He called me his Most Pretty Specimen" and "He shared the secret to his family moonshine recipe") Then Engie walks in and they both ask him who's the better support. Engie replies with Neither, my partners the best : ). At which point, a second argument starts, and he is officially added into the weekly gushing about our partners to someone else.

A triple threat :0!! Hell yeah!! This will be part one of a multipart oneshot

Warnings: mild gore mention

Rating: teen and up

“Dude, Medic is the best! With his healing, I barely die anymore. The other Scout lost his shit last match.” Scout grabs a beer, popping the top off to gulp it down. He looks down at the abandoned board game on the table with pieces scattered randomly. Hopefully they can find them all when they eventually put it away.

“You should see the other Demo when Sniper ruins his sticky bomb traps. He throws a fit!” The Aussie’s sharp aim bursts the laid out bombs before the enemy comes close to activating them. Both men slip their empty bottles into the opened cases for recycling. Demo picks up the loose game pieces, tossing them back into the box. He doesn’t bother counting them and assumes that everything is in place. If not, oh well.

“Does Sniper call you sexy names in another language?” Scout can’t describe the shiver that runs through his body when Medic growls German pet names. He could walk past the man, and those sweet words would he uttered in a heartbeat. Of course, he would never know if Medic called him a bitch or darling.

“That’s my job, lad. Does Medic take you cryptid hunting?” An eye roll from the younger man. If Medic ever did that, it would include dissecting them in the same night. Scout tries not to think about the time he caught Medic coming back late at night after harvesting organs.

Before either of them can speak, Engineer enters the room. He looks between the pair while grabbing a beer for himself. The southerner takes note of yet another abandoned game. Do those two ever finish one?

“What are you fellas talking about?” Engineer takes a healthy gulp of his drink. His overalls are sticky with sweat after working in his shop all morning. Oil stains and small holes in his pant legs show the hard work he does everyday.

“Who’s got the best lass on his arm.” Scout laughs, nudging Demo with his foot under the table. Engineer joins in on the chuckling before he shakes his head at their antics. So typical of them.

“Well, for the record, Spy’s the best girlfriend out of all of y’all’s ladies.” While Scout gags, Demo laughs. He puts a hand on Engineer’s shoulder as the men chortle together. The Scotsman wipes away the tear in his eye and shakes his head.

“Be serious, lad. Does Spy bring you shark teeth?” He has several necklaces, one of which Demo is wearing under his vest. Sniper handmade each of them, careful to wrap the teeth in wire to keep them in place. He also made sure to give Demo every bit of information on the shark it came from until his mouth goes dry.

“Or carry you to bed?” Scout grins, chin in his palm as he thinks about his Medic. The younger likes to sit with him while he sterilizes his equipment. More often than not, Scout falls asleep somewhere in the examination room. Each time, Medic tenderly brings him to one of their bedrooms and tucks him in.

“No to both of y’all, but do your boys make you dinner? And I mean a real dinners with garnish and all them fancy bits.” There’s no doubt in Engineer’s mind that he gained a pound or two from Spy’s cooking. Those who can cook take turns doing so, but Spy makes a personal dish for Engineer. Plump ducks, roasted garlic spreads, and vegetables cooked in ways Engineer has never seen before.

“Fried gator isn’t fancy, but it’s sure as hell filling. Tastes like that chicken you love, laddie.” Demo says the second half to Scout. The batter now pauses, questioning if his beloved chicken hut serves actual chicken or gator substitute. It would make sense seeing how weirdly shaped some of the flats tend to be.

“Yeah, well, Medic lets me borrow his clothes. Sucks to be you guys.” Both men grumble at the fact. Of course they had to pick partners smaller than them. Engineer still hasn’t gotten back the flannel Spy borrowed during one of their dates. He’s starting to suspect he wasn’t actually cold that night.

“Now, listen—“

Onto part two! -H

[popculturebuffet]

Sam and Max Beyond Time and Space Retrospective: Night of the Raving Dead

Happy halloween all you happy freelance police. I"m jake and my Sam and Max Beyond Time and Space retrospective continues as Sam and Max fight a guy who sucks just in time for spooky season.

Chapter 3 gives us a fun spooky good time as we have zombies, frankenstines and vampires as our dynamic duo have to beat a club hopping german vampire before his army of the undead conquer the world. So a normal tuesday really. Can our heroes save the world.. again? Will we have to see a lot of pierced vampire nipples? Is Lincoln still the worst Short answer, of course, just look at the article image, and i'm still in cringing agony so.. can confirm. Long answer is under the cut!

Night of the Raving Dead begins In Media Res and milks it for all it's worth: Sam and Max are in a soul sucking machine, at the mercy of Jurgen, a european vampire who never wears a shirt but does gladly show off his pierced nipples. Still better than bebops. Firm 6/10.

At any rate pierced nips aren't the issue as the threat here is your old fashioned spike wall style trap I know just the man for the job but sadly he's was a bit busy with his own spiked wall issues

So instead we flash back to the start of this tale.

And to my delight our heroes continue to pile up junk in their office. Sam has now added a holy urn and is still high priest seperation of chruch and state kneels before god emperor priest president Max!

Our heroes have a bit of infestation though in their office there's something all too familiar

These are not greasy teen zombies or greasy gnomes or even the dreaded Crombie, but European Zombies! So it's up to us to talk to everyone and find out why. In an intresting reversal this time it's Bosco whose closed, while Sybil's reopened her place, because we psychologically tortured him into disappearing.

Sybil meanwhile is looking for love in all the wrong places as after her relationship with Abe Ended she's restarted her dating service.. but just for her. After the obvious sex work joke because this is the 2000's, Sybil is basically screening dates... and is currnetly screening a moleman.

But after he failed we're left with Harry Moleman. Whose back for some reason. Gotta reuse those models I guess. He has aboslutely no shot and Sybil is being just polite. He also has a choclate heart we'll need later and a fear of zombie's we'll exploit later

Moving over to Stinky's her latest special is a gooey cake/chekov's gun, while her latest item we can grab is a sunlamp bulb since even she has no idea why it's there, but the plot does. The plot sees all.

Anyway abe's also there.. .and still the worst as he blames Sybil for the breakup, is stalking her and won't shut up

Yeah I liked Abe at first.. but in a record TWO episodes he's gone from endearing into the hall

It's a shame too as I really DID like abe in season one and the first episode of this but this gag, ESPECIALLY wiith how the sybil plot concludes, really dosen't work.

Thankfully we move on to our boys the C.O.P.S. who have decided to captalize on this to sell internet to zombies, via online trial discs. For those too young to know what those are

For now though we can't get any of those future coasters, but we do found out poor bluster has some brain damage which was also funnier at the time. We do find out the source of the ZOmbies: the zombie factory in Stuttgard, Germany. And to my shock Stuttgart is a real place. I would've asked my german friend , but she needs sleep and isn't awake till midnight like moi.... am I a vampire? ... no. No I love garlic bread too much to make that sacrifice. Then again It'd also make it easier to meet Matt Berry.. dammit this is a dillema.

While I mull this over we move on to Stuttgard. I didn't ask said friend, @galaxysupernaturalstuff because again, asleep.. and because I forgot earlier. Though I probably DON'T need an actual german to tell me "yeah Stuttgart isn't a small villiage with a giant castle in the middle of it. "They thankfully don't do too many german stereotypes about the country as a whole, the only gags they do being the fairly innocent beerstein and the fact Midtown Cowboys is big there. It's done more in a tounge in cheek way than anything genuinely offensive.

Turns out the Zombie Factory is both your standard spooky hammer horror style monster castle.. and a club, and to get in we need to get past the bouncer, good old superball.

Yeah like the Bosco scremaing thing this is a runner nad a truly great one. Also unlike that one it's both nonseical and you can't get punched for it. He's working for Jurgen, our big bad, because his doors are rich fine mahogany.. and he needs SOMETHING to do after the divorce. He was married. I'd.. genuinely forgot that.

To get past him we once again have to do something that's likely to get me sent to hell for playing this game: take a brain from a fresh corpse

Then we throw it to a gargoyle which suprisingly ISN'T alive, nor voiced by keith david despite it being night, allowing us to cut the line.

It's inside we get a ZOMBIE DISCO BITCHES. We meet our arc villian and the mastermind behind this half baked scheme, Jurgen. Jurgern.. is a deliglight: he's basically every 20 something trying to seem cool by clubing distilled into a vampire and given a german accent and nipple rings. And he is glorious. The fact his plan is just "Conquer teh world with zombies" jah helps. our heroes just try to go for the head.. but Jurgen can teleport so we need to take the source of his powers: his...

And it's fun too as each one is simply hitting him with his vampire weakensses.. and the how, as usual is fun and redicuous. That being said actually solving these puzzles.. is a lot. I ended up hitting a dead end: I figured given the tropes at play that the key was to trigger some type of hidden entrance to get up to the balcony to replace the bulbs in the spotlight with the sunlamp. And it is.. btu the how is INCREDIBLY overcomplicated. While the writing couldn't be stronger this chapter and where your supposed to go MOSTLY straight foward, the actual puzzles are often overcomplicated. The ones in the Zombie Factory itself rely HEAVILY on a dj soundboard , which you have to put the right words from one of jurgen's poems into, without it being clear which words in the poem are a clue. Also solving the spotlight DOSEN'T fix the problem and you still have two other things to do to him, only one of which is pretty easy to figure out since after Jurgen mentions he's a huge midtown cowboys fangboy, a new area unlocked announcment shows up. As it did with the COPS when this castle unlocked. Both a great gag and a nice bit of gameplay magic to make this easier.

So yeah.. I used a guide for most of this. This is one of the trickier ones gameplay wise and if you don't adventure game often or have a lot of patience

It can be maddening. There's also another "pick a random dialouge option fo ra song" puzzle like last season, which just.. isn't fun. Picking various options is only funny if there's multiple jokes, like the cooking without looking segment from last game. Basically asking "PICK RANDOM DIALOUGE FOR US FEASANT" isn't fun it's just keeping me from having fun with the part of the game I actually like.

So with that we an shine a little sunlight on Jurgen's life, causing him to freak out and loose a little respect of his fanbase. Like any influencer in embyro, just one stab to his rep isn't going to do it but it's a start. Next it's time to return to Midtown Cowboys! Their probably hiding a cow. Midtown Cowboys have been saved from cancelation baby! See back then Networks actually.. payed attention to things like audience numbers or dvd and digital sales instead of guarding the numbers like a cave troll so they can cancel whatever they want whenever they want. Gee I wonder why the actor's strike has taken 105 days with that kind of job security.

As it turns out Midtown Cowboys is HUGE in germany, with WARP having converted to just shooting Midtown Cowboys and spinoffs. Hey at least they beat Disney+ to the punch with that model. Turns out the statoin lady's been TRYING to get our heroes back in they've just been busy and such.. and max also deleted her messages because he be like that.

We also reunite with my boy Mr. Featherly, who legally changed his name from Philo Pennyworth. While he DID go back to theater even he can't resist the siren call of "buy your own private island fortress" money. Max naturally signed away those rights without thinking. They lost 4 executives that day..so you know it's not all bad.

We can still use the broadcast to our advntage though, stashing some garlic cigarettes from outside the castle in Featherly's bag as a prop. What follows.. is comedy gold. While we sadly don't get a cookin without lookin sequel, I wanted to use baboon hearts, what we do get is just as funny as we get a very special episode, the kind sitcoms used to do to tackle the heavy issues instead of just weaving them in if it fits the tone.

The cowboys hold an interviention for mr. featherly, who finds out they were indeed hiding a cow but he has his own cow.. a smoking addiction. Even Bessie is disapointed. It then quickly turns into an add for smoking and why it's totally rad and you should all do it as their sponsor.. is garlic clove cigarettes. It's so fucked and I love it. IT's a simple idea i'm genuinely suprised I haven't seen elsewhere and genius.

So with that we just have one last thing to destroy this man's career: we need a man of the faith to bless some water bottles we got at the club. But since Shelby isn't around, we'll have to make do with max, dunking the water bottles in his sacred urn while he gives us the sacred rites

The problem is as seen with the cigs, while Jurgen is many things, a hipster, a scene kid, a goth, a tool, a vampire, a mild german sterotype, a dracula, an emo, a direct to video sequel to Dracula 2000, a nipple piercing sorta guy, european, german, big dicked, bad at poetry, a plagarist, a mad scientest, an outer god... he is not dumb enough to let people carry in his weaknesses. Dumb enough to keep some of them in his private lab as we'll see, but still not dumb enough to let vampire hunters right in.

So to get it past we have to have max drink the holy water. You'd think this would mean max would get set on fire, another vampire weakness but it just give shim a halo. I guess his own religion can't cast him into the firey depths.

It's a once again limited time thing.. though I don't get WHY in this case. I get having it wear off to show it has to be used IN the castle.. but why does it wear off on the dance floor.

Anyways to beat jurgen we have to out out emo him with lyrics about darkness, no parents, continued darkness, and of course

We DO basically win, but normally jurgen would copy us. I know because I did this puzzle before knowing the solution. He drinks max. Thankfully his drinking Holy Water makes him need to go potty. You know if I had a nickle for every time we had to defeat one of our foes by making him need to go to the bathroom i'd have three nickels.. which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened thrice.

So we follow Jurgen to his lair but given we've only done three puzzle's we're not done yet, two act structure and all as SAM AND MAX ENGAGE IN THE MOST THRILLING BATTLE OF THEIR CAREERS... bringing them to the trap.. which thanks to Sam being busy recapping, works and swallows our heroes souls. Jurgen goes.. somewhere, leaving us in his study. We find some useful junk, including a stake, and a monster.

This is Jurgen's Monster, who like his master I dearly love, a poetic beast whose mad you brought him to life as he's so lonely. Can relate dude, can, relate.

Helping him win a date with Sybil is our main quest from her eon out as she has a soul mater, a weird horrifying eldrich device she dosen't know how to use, so her finding her soul mate means we can have it. Which is good because Sam and Max's souls don't want to go back after how their bodies have misused them, waiting to go to the next life. To put a stop to our souls going to hell a few chapters early we need that soul mater.

What follows is a LOT of stuff since we don't have just 7 days to make jurgen a mannnnnnnnnnnn. We can't get him pink and quite clean but we CAN get him a brain via our old friend Flint Paper and the Zombie of Abe LIncon. Yeah turns out Abe was buried in Stuttgart and thus we meet the real abe whose loyal to his dead wife and actually likeable. Sadly he's brutalyl murdered because Flint Paper is on the warpath. He wants to kill us because "THey'd rather be dead than undead!" Sam and Max don't remember making him promise that and thus use another hidden passage to knock him out and get the brain.

Next we need a proper hand. Thankfully the zombie from the intro stole jessie james hand, which is now alive and holding up girl stinky. To get it we need to trick it and this puzzle is clever: the hand hops every time it shoots. So we simply have to make it get all the way to girl stinky, then put his attention her so it goes the other way.. straight into the goey cake. We got our HANNNDDD BACCCKKKK.

We now need to give him some heart. This one's a tad overcomplicated, even by this chapter's standards: first we need to play the cops game for this chapter, distrubing internet demo disks paperboy style. This game is tricky, but unlike the difficulty in this chapter, it's a fair kind once you figure it out. You have to move your car to be in the right position to hit the zombies with a disk. It's still hard, but it's the fun kind of hard

With that we have a big anetna we can bolt cutter off the car and use to power up Jurgen's alchemy machine.

To get our final body part though we need to play the dating game against featherly and harry moleman

Harry is just hopeless and Featherly is pretentious: LIncoln's brain is the only thing Sybil liked about him, and the hand has jurgen spell out I love sybil. Awwwwww. We just need a heart of gold as the ones we have are a clock and plants that make us into mr. van dresen. I mean .. you'd think playing a good rendention of lesbian segull would woo her but I guess it's not her thing.

No we need a heart. Luckily Harry takes his time answering a question and has a choclate heart, and even more luckily this time ruining his life dosen't feel bad as he's tried to murder us, sybil and really had ZERO chance before shouting at us.

With that we can be in it to win it, using the science and the alchemy to give us a gold heart and winning Sybils. Unfourtnatley the game then makes a pretty bleh error in judgment, as Sybil realizes she still wants abe and.. runs off to apologize to the bastard

Yeah this joke is all kinds of messed up. I get her going back IS the joke, that he's bad for her.. but it just comes off stupid, and mildly sexist as it feeds into the old "oh women like jerks" sterotypes instead of "abusive relationships happen". I mean it's a lot to ask sam and max to be realistic, so i'm fine with that but it's not a lot to ask them to actually be funny if their going to do something this annoying.

So on that sour note the climax. We get our souls back and fight jurgen, who has a plan.. of.. some sort. Anyways we can't stake him because we're too slow, so we toss the soul mater to jurgen's monster pull the lever kronk and swap bodies, using his to finally put this chapter to it's eternal rest... but not before flint comes in and tragically jurgen's monster dies.

I'm.. still not over it but i've been asured he returns somehow. And there's no time to punch flint for this as it turns out the reason he dived in guns a blazing to see us earlier is that he needs our help: bosco isn't just missing... he's NOWHERE ON EARTH

Night of the Raving dead is one of my faviorite chapters writing wise, with lots of clever jokes, an all timer villian and tons of my faviorite characters.. and abe. The abe stuff drags it down slightly, but everything else is so good this is easily my second faviorite chapter of the games thus far behind Save the World's The Mafia, the Mole and the Meatball.

It still suffers from some of this games overarching issues: the puzzles are more obtuse, the writing can be a bit mean spirited, and I don't have a third thing. Beyond Time and Space thus far isn't BAD, and has legs up on it's predecessor with gorgeous environments, but it still feels a bit of a step back from the previous one. It's got a bigger budget.. but it's just not as fun as the later chapters of save the world. It's not a bad game, the writing is as sharp as ever and most of your terrible actions are too over the top to not be funny, but it dosen't have quite the charm the first one did.

Next Time: I .. genuinely dont' know. The descrption for this one is more vauge. the only thing I know for sure is we'll finally meet THEM

Thanks for reading

[cantsayidont]

Haterating and hollerating in the 1980s. None of these movies has any meaningful wlw content, so just assume the answer to "CONTAINS LESBIANS?" is "No."

VIDEODROME (1983): I'd never actually seen all of this loopy, surreal David Cronenberg thriller about an opportunistic Canadian TV station president (James Woods) who becomes convinced that a mysterious series of pirate broadcasts showing scenes of torture and murder might be the Next Big Thing, resisting all attempts to warn him off until it's far too late. Like SCANNERS (which I had seen), its influence has been so outsized that much of it feels familiar even on first viewing, including the film's now-notorious forays into body horror, which, if you're expecting them, are no longer really that shocking (although they are often memorably icky). What's less expected, and thus more striking, is the film's Pynchon-like (Pynchonian? Pynchonesque?) deadpan absurdity; the story is full of characters with names like Blanca O'Blivion (Sonja Smits), daughter of Marshall-McLuhan-like media theorist Brian O'Blivion, and Barry Convex (Leslie Carlson), a sinister optician who's also a defense contractor. It's really very funny, in the same mode as John Carpenter's later THEY LIVE. Judging by the sheer density of ridiculous stuff happening even around the edges, like the brief snippet we see of the weird call-in show hosted by Nicki Brand (Debbie Harry, who's less prominently featured than I'd been given to expect), I can only assume it was intentional, although Cronenberg's narrative straight face and the outsize reactions to the goopy "videocassette orifice" stuff stood in the way of its being recognized as a comedy. (That it's a satire should of course be obvious.) VERDICT: One of those movies you need to see for reasons of cultural literacy, even if it's not really your thing, but perhaps not while eating.

GOTCHA! (1985): Before finding his niche on the TV show ER, Anthony Edwards had a burgeoning career as one of the more obnoxious of the many obnoxious young male stars of the '80s, offering an insufferable combination of earnestness and smarm in films like REVENGE OF THE NERDS and this dumb teen adventure, obviously intended to capitalize on a then-popular campus fad. Horny 18-year-old UCLA veterinary student Jonathan Moore, whose favorite hobby is the titular paintball assassination game, decides to go to Europe with a friend (Alex Rocco, who has more charisma in his minor supporting role than Edwards musters in his entire '80s filmography) and falls for a hot older woman called Sasha (Linda Fiorentino), who soon involves Jonathan in some deadly real-world espionage. The midsection, set in Paris and Berlin, is an okay if unremarkable Cold War thriller, with Edwards relatively tolerable as a fish out of water; the movie's best scene has him hitching a ride with a van full of German punks who love DALLAS. Unfortunately, the third act returns to L.A. and attempts to pay off the paintball-game setup, with preposterous results. Also, if you're much older than the protagonist, the way the story wraps up Jonathan's relationship with Sasha will likely seem a little creepy. VERDICT: Misses the mark.

INTO THE NIGHT (1985): Oddball black comedy thriller starring Jeff Goldblum as Ed Okin, a depressed, insomniac aerospace engineer who over the course of one long night becomes the unlikely savior of a beautiful woman (Michelle Pfeiffer) who's being pursued by an assortment of deadly enemies. Goldblum has fun with his character, who hasn't slept in days and is no longer capable of any emotional response beyond mild dismay (something that becomes progressively funnier as the situation escalates), and he has excellent rapport with Pfeiffer, who's not so much a femme fatale as an aging good-time girl who's worn out her welcome just about everywhere. Unfortunately, they're saddled with a script that often seems like an unfinished draft, with a murky, rather racist plot that's full of setups for gags whose punchlines are still marked "TBA," and punctuated by bursts of violence that are frequently meaner than called for (the fate of the Kathryn Harrold character is especially nasty, and completely gratuitous). Dan Ackroyd, David Bowie, Vera Miles, Irene Papas, and other prominent stars pop up in minor roles, usually for no more than a scene or two, and director John Landis peppers the film with guest appearances by other film directors (including Roger Vadim, Paul Mazursky, David Cronenberg, and Jim Henson, among others), which is distracting if you recognize them and puzzling if you don't. VERDICT: Goldblum and Pfeiffer are great, but Landis's weird indulgences leave it feeling like a private joke.

MANHUNTER (1986): Mesmerizing Michael Mann adaptation of the Thomas Harris novel RED DRAGON, with William Petersen as Will Graham, Dennis Farina as Jack Crawford, Tom Noonan as the "Tooth Fairy" killer, Joan Allen as Reba, and Brian Cox as Hannibal Lecter (for some reason spelled "Lecktor"). It has a very different narrative center of gravity than later Hannibal Lecter movies or the HANNIBAL TV show, though it's no less stylized, with striking use of color and music (most memorably in the finale, which uses Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" diegetically). Like most such stories, it's ideologically objectionable — though arguably less so than THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS — but it's certainly effective, and less hokey than the 2002 adaptation with Ed Norton. Long, slow-paced (particularly in the director's cut), and not very deep, but if you catch it in the right frame of mind, its blend of chilly psychological detachment and procedural minutiae is almost hypnotic. VERDICT: A movie to dissociate to.

THE MANHATTAN PROJECT (1986): If OPPENHEIMER struck you as too pompous and amoral, try this decent if implausible mid-'80s teen movie about a high school science prodigy (Christopher Collet) who decides to protest the secret DOE lab run by his mom's nerdy new scientist boyfriend (John Lithgow) by stealing some plutonium from the lab with the help of his aspiring teen reporter sort-of girlfriend (a babyfaced Cynthia Nixon) and then building his own atomic bomb. The first half relies too heavily on its hyper-competent (and singularly arrogant) kid hero effortlessly outwitting doofus adults, although it works well enough on its own terms. Things pick up in the exciting third act, which is enlivened by a terrific performance by Lithgow, supported by John Mahoney as a hard-bitten Army colonel who's decided the best way to contain the situation is to kill the boy as soon as they can separate him from the bomb. Collet is quite good, if not terribly likeable; Nixon does her best with an underwritten supporting role. VERDICT: The intended moral point ends up a little muddy, but an attempt was made, which is more than one can say for Nolan's overblown epic.

MIRACLE MILE (1988): AFTER HOURS at the end of the world: What begins as a treacly romance about a dweebish musician (Anthony Edwards at his most objectionably saccharine) falling for a diner waitress (Mare Winningham with a truly unfortunate haircut) takes an extremely dark turn as our hapless hero answers a misdialed pay phone call and learns that nuclear war is about to begin, setting him on a frantic, surreal late-night quest to find his dream girl and get them both out of L.A. before it's destroyed by (presumably) Soviet missiles. It's a frightening premise for a perfectly dreadful script whose painfully contrived setup, cartoonish characters (including Denise Crosby as an unlikely diner patron who seems to know something about what may be going on), and uneasy half-comic tone undermine its credibility at every turn. The urgency and uncertainty of the threat are enough to hold your attention for about an hour, but from there, the story has nothing left to do but to play out the string, leading to an incredibly nihilistic finale not recommended for anyone in an emotionally fragile state. VERDICT: Memorably weird, but not in a good way.

[saschaederer]

- Image of a small black circle projected unto my surrounding, pertaining to the system‘s part in me

- „Chosen“

- „busty teen gangbang“ - „Distinct forms of torture“ - several images of buttplug actions - „(Scarlett) Peterson“

- „I wanna kill her“ (‚Taylor Swift - Fortnight‘ playing in my head, initial reference to Mikhaila Peterson)

- Image pertaining to a YouTube short, showing a moving city on wheels in the desert with a steampunkish setting, alongside a feeling reminiscent of the Manga ‚Gantz‘ - „We’re gonna build a whole world together, weeee“ (in childlike voice)

- Short artificial dream of a condensed, black, burnt, mass of marshmallows layered on top of one another (reminiscent of the YouTube short by ‚The marshmallow Co.‘), someone asking „War das vor dem Krankenhaus Aufenthalt?“ (German: „Was that before the hospital stay?“)

- Torture insinuations (initial („special“) reference to me)

- „Julian Sens“ - „pertain“ - „(„child“) rape“

- „Shoot“ - „Nick Müller“ (if I remember his surname correctly, childhood friend from Bischof-Dr-Christian-Schreiber-Schule)

- „Crooked“ (initial reference to Blair („Mikhaila (Peterson)“) Acheson“

- „Rothschild“ - „Rot“ (German: Red) - „Glans“ (initial reference to me)

- „Parasite / paradox“ - „Bulldox / Bulldogs“ - „Bulldozer“

- “Lydia Chanel” - Gagging sound

______________________________________________

REPORTS

- The system transmitting an idea this morning via feelings, thoughts and self images of becoming “part system” (cyborg), which I know has essentially been the case anyway, but presented another layer of contention by doing so with self-images (shadow / evil system). I in this context is whatever I can identify with (no uni-dimensional formulation because I cannot identify myself with all of me). It could be cool, it could be strong, but the axioms don’t change

- Three thingys (although having started off as only one), which were at the top of my ceiling (over my bed), which reminded me of spider nests (but didn’t check), suddenly vanished (the idea being that those were actually baby spiders, which dispersed now)

______________________________________________

PLEASE READ

How I handle threats I receive (Last Update: 19. 9. 2024):

Added:

- The above paragraph (including the list) have for all intents and purposes, been scrapped for now, as the system’d still be able to threaten me with distinctly issued threats but with spammy names, which’d again become too difficult for me to manage. I could still publish those names daily, separately, while only mentioning distinctly issued names next to distinctly issued threats, but sounds to me too much like I’d simply wanna have things my way, so I’m only going to publish distinctly issued threats and names going forward (with exceptions). An example publication has been added to the list, to give anyone an idea of how things have looked, until recently.

- „Try to“ and „intended“ to „I will commit to my role as a messenger in this“

Deleted:

- “These often allude to specific perpetrators, which aren’t mentioned except in specific cases, due to the possibility of smearing.” in reference to the vocalizations

[randomclod]

I love threads like this okay here we go. My main special interest is dolls and it has been since I was three.

A lot of people think that Barbie was the first non-baby doll but that's far from the truth. In fact, an early form of fashion dolls made from wood or ivory existed well over three thousand years ago in ancient Greece. They had jointed limbs and painted faces and little outfits and jewelry.

That's only the oldest example but the idea that all dolls were porcelain babies until Barbie came along is entirely false. On the topic of Barbie, however, I know quite a few fun facts about her. One is that she was never actually meant to look like a realistic human woman. She was based on paper dolls and fashion illustrations, as well as the exaggerated proportions of Bild-Lilli, a German doll based on a comic strip character of the same name. The Bild-Lilli dolls were a gag gift for adult fans of the comic.

Thanks to the Barbie movie, a lot of the most controversial and obscure Barbie dolls have had a moment in the spotlight. From the tragically forgotten Allan (he's Ken's buddy!) to Midge, who was discontiniued because parents thought she promoted teen pregnancy (despite Midge expilcitly being an adult character). Earring Magic Ken and Growing Up Skipper also caused quite a scene in their days.

Dolls also cross over with other interests of mine, such as lost media. The lost Hasbro doll line Trashion Alley is a fascinating story for sure, look it up on youtube!

Autism people:

Info dump to me. What is your current special interest?

[thesightstoshowyou]

Can we have public smut with Asa? I know this man may not be that type but maybe he shows You off in front of his new victims? 😏😌 To show them how lucky you are. How You OBEY him on everything Even if it's humilliating/embarrasing? 😌😏

qhabqksnwksnw THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA

~~

Obedience

Asa Emory x AFAB Reader (NSFW)

Warnings: Exhibitionism, blood mention, throat fucking, humiliation, praise, knife play, creampie.

You follow the German Shepherd through the labyrinth. Carefully, the dog maneuvers under and over traps, effortlessly avoiding trip wires and rotting floorboards. Each time the Collector summons you, you’re always amazed at the level of training his animals have received.

The dog sits in front of a door you’ve never seen before. Trepidation growing in your gut, you raise your hand, knuckles hovering nervously over peeling wood. Still, the urge to obey is stronger than any fear you could possibly feel.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Come in,” comes the familiar, rough voice on the other side of the door. The sound instantly sends a shiver down your spine. The fading brass knob squeaks when you turn it, the hinges of the old door squealing in protest as you push.

Immediately, your face heats up and you discreetly move your arms in front of yourself when you find two other people—victims—tethered to the wall. You wear nothing but lacy lingerie, a fact the Collector must wish to flaunt if his posture is anything to go by.

He rests on a weathered sofa across from the captives, arm leisurely thrown across the back, one leg crossed over the other. The dark eyes under the mask assess you intently, piercing through to the soul he’s twisted to his liking.

Hastily you cross the room to kneel at his feet, dropping your eyes to your trembling hands. The Collector places a heavy hand on the top of your head and gives you a few quick pats like he would to the dog waiting patiently just outside.

“Take a look, Firefly,” he murmurs, using the hand on your head to twist your neck so you’re staring at the other victims. The woman is a little older than you, possibly mid to late thirties. Her clothes are tattered and grimy and she sports several, bleeding cuts along her left cheek. She glares at you and Sir with nothing but contempt.

The man is young, late teens or early twenties. He’s cleaner, less injured. Newer. His eyes dart nervously to you, to the woman tied to the wall next to him, and back again. He doesn’t dare look at the Collector.

A wise choice.

“These two show...promise, I suppose. Nothing like you, of course.” He twists your head back until you meet his gaze, “You know how I hate to be disappointed.” You nod. The Collector sighs heavily, stands, tucks his arms behind his back and begins to stalk around the room as he speaks, “You two have promise, yes, but you’re severely lacking in several important areas. To say you’ve disappointed me would be an understatement. You need a lesson in...” he turns back to you, “Obedience.”

The Collector strolls back across the room to stand menacingly before you. You swallow thickly, wondering what he has planned. You have a sinking suspicion when gloved fingers brush your lips.

“Open up.” You mouth instantly falls open and he pushes two, broad fingers onto your tongue. Well trained, you close your lips around them and suck, swallowing the taste of nitrile.

“It would benefit you both to watch closely,” he orders, free hand moving to his belt. Your cheeks burn with the realization of what he’s about to do to you in front of these poor people.

But you would never, in a million years, think to protest.

When his fingers slip from your mouth, you raise up on your knees and obediently stick out your tongue. He chuckles darkly and lays a hand on your cheek. It’s almost affectionate, the way he strokes your face, and you can’t help but shudder pleasantly at the silent praise.

As his hard cock slides past your lips, you try your best to ignore the captives watching the scene with wide, disbelieving eyes. The Collector grips the sides of your face and pushes completely into your throat in one, smooth thrust. Your shoulders tense and you wretch, saliva pooling in your cheeks as he begins his assault on your throat.

Compliant as ever, you remain as still as you can while gagging and coughing around the cock stuffing your face. The Collector grunts, exhales sharply and purrs, “You’re so good, aren’t you?” His words go straight between your legs and you moan around his length, eyes fluttering shut at the compliment.

You gasp and hack when he pulls from your mouth. Kneeling, he uses his sleeve to wipe away the tears trickling down your face and the spit dripping from your chin. He smirks when he catches you earnestly attempting to meet his gaze.

“Speak, Firefly.”

“Thank you, Sir,” you croak hoarsely.

“On the couch,” he commands quietly. As you scramble onto the cushions, he turns to address the others, “Are you taking notes?”

Not waiting for a reply, the Collector moves to settle between your spread thighs. Your lacy panties are pulled to the side and his gloves squeak as they drag through your gathering wetness. He examines the slick coating his gloved digits, turning them this way and that so they shine in the low light.

“See? Already wet. So keen to follow orders. Speak.”

“Yes, Sir, always.” Your eyes go wide in shock when you hear a barely stifled huff from the woman across the room.

“Eyes on me, Firefly. The lesson isn’t over yet.” His words hold dangerous promise and you nod. You don’t want to know what he has planned for such thoughtless interruption. Poor, stupid woman.

The Collector raises your hips and buries his wet cock into slick muscles. You sigh and tip your head back, hands fisting the dusty fabric of the ancient couch. Lazily, he rolls his hips and you let your legs fall open wider to accommodate.

You tense when you feel the familiar sensation of cold steel at your throat. The Collector drags the flat of the blade down your neck, across your collarbone, before coming to rest on a nipple. Gently, he rubs the stiff bud with the chilly blade, making you whine and arch.

His hips snap forward in appreciation and you choke on a moan. The knife moves to your hip as he grasps handfuls of your flesh, using the leverage to pull you onto his cock as he begins to hammer you into the cushions.

“Anticipatory, responsive, eager to please. Perfect obedience.” He speaks above your noisy moans, his tone even and level as though he’s teaching a class and not battering your insides. You bite your lip in an attempt to not interrupt him, but the warm coil or pleasure twisting in your belly is making that nearly impossible.

“Be good, Firefly. Cum for me. Give it to me.” Your response, as always, is prompt. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream as you tense and tumble over the precipice, blissful waves of pleasure wracking your core. Your spasming muscles milk the Collector’s twitching cock until he’s breathing sharply in your ear and spilling warmth into your guts.

“What do you say?” he whispers.

“Thank you, Sir, thank you,” you answer breathlessly. The Collector eases from your warmth, quickly tucking himself away before standing and straightening his clothes. He gives you one, long look, head tilted to the side in thought.

He sighs, “What is it I said I hate, Firefly? Speak.”

“To b-be disappointed, Sir.”

“Correct.” The Collector twists the knife in his hand, nitrile squeaking against the leather handle. He turns to face the captives, who tense and shake in abject terror. He continues slowly, “Unfortunately, I’ve found myself very disappointed.”

At the first scream, you turn your head away.

[maybe-your-left]

We all know Dr. Ren celebrates Father's Day, but what about Daddy's Day? 👀

oh my god, well for father’s day i’m at a splash pad park with my dogs and my niece. so let’s make Dr. Ren go to a park for a family outing.

TW/CW: NSFW talk, father’s day, female reader, children are involved, smoking, doctor ren is not having a good time, the Ren family has a German Shepard named Hux

Please enjoy this photo of doggie Hux

A splash pad is a water feature in parks all around america where there are fountains and buckets and other water toys for people who want to play in recreational parks.

“Honey, did you pack the sunscreen?”

“Mhm.”

You rummaged through your tote bag on the grass, using one hand to dig while the other was holding onto Odins wrist. He kept trying to wiggle out of your grasp so he could bolt to the playground, but he was so pale he would burn from the sunlight.

Belle was sprawled on the blanket next to you, reading a magazine because she has been grounded from her phone for the weekend. After Ren caught her kissing a boy when he picked her up from school…

“He’s fine, Love,” Ren grumbled from his lawn chair. The man was trying so hard to look relaxed, too big for his lawn chair. Bare legs sprawled out before him, black swim trunks with hawaiian flowers on them (courtesy of Belle). He tore off his shirt the moment he sat down since it was 100 degrees outside, almost blinding other families with his pale chest.

A top his head was a black bucket hat, that you found at the store. It was a joke at first but he looked kinda good in it, despite his frown when you threw it over his well manicured hair.

“You need sunscreen too,” you glared at him, finally fingering the bottle, “Come here baby.” You dragged Odin into your lap, slathering his skin with a white cast of protection despite his whining.

“Odin, stop crying. You’re upsetting the dog.”

He glanced to his right, laying down was your new dog you recently adopted. Without permission, which was the result of you scrolling on Facebook. Seeing this beautiful german Shepard up for adoption at the local shelter. You had to rescue him, and despite Ren being upset. The two of them hit it off, napping together just this morning while you made brunch for father’s day.

After getting Odin fixed up, he dashed off into the abyss. Ren growled at him to stay where he could see, and that was that. Leaving you to sit between his knees while you watched. Belle had wandered off next, complaining about the heat.

You leaned your head back into his lap, a hand came up to play with your hair. “Happy father’s day,” you mumbled, pressing back into his massaging hands.

“Thank you,” he whispered, you felt him lean forward, his hands sliding down to cup your cheeks. You puckered your lips for him, expecting a big kiss as a sign of gratitude.

Rens voice dropped lowly in your ears, “You know what would make me happier?”

You opened your eyes, staring up at your husbands handsome face. His auburn eyes blown almost black as he hovered his lips over yours. You swallowed slowly, “What?”

“If you gave me a blowjob in the bathroom.”

———

“Shhh,” he hissed at you, landing a sharp smack to your cheek.

You giggled at that, you were on your knees in one of the changing cabanas. A towel under you for cushion, batting your paws at his swim trunks.

Ren ran his fingers roughly through your hair, a makeshift ponytail at the back of your head. Perfect for him to manhandle you, “Be quick, I don’t want the police to be called because you can’t give me faster head.”

“Oh?” you mouthed at the fabric, feeling his hardening length beneath. Straining against his muscles, you slipped your thumbs into his waistband. Tugging down, “Are you being impatient, Daddy?”

Ren raised a brow, maneuvering your mouth to the tip of his cock. Red and pulsing in anticipation, you opened your lips a little. Letting the velvet skin slide across a few times.

Both of you sighed at the feeling, darting your tongue out to lick up the pre-cum. Salty and smearing across your supple lips, “Open up.”

You obeyed without question, letting him pop inside. Hitting the back of your throat, agitating your soft palate. Crushing back a few times in shallow thrusts, Ren groaned loudly.

Echoing off the flimsy walls of the hot box you hid inside.

“Good girl,” he purred as you sucked around his length. You gagged, spittle pooling around the corners of your mouth. “Choke for your Daddy.”

You doubled down on your efforts, placing your palms on his hips. Choking yourself on his cock as he rammed it down your throat. He fucked into you, stroking your cheekbones with his thumbs in rhythm with his hips.

“Baby,” he groaned, “I’m gonna cum, can you swallow it all?”

“Yeash,” you garbled, swallowing a few times until you were at the base. Nose shoved into pubic bone, trying to take in deep breaths through your nostrils.

His length twitched on your tongue, nudging the back of your throat. Ren took a deep breath leaning over your kneeling form and letting out a strangled moan.

You closed your eyes as he came down your throat. Gagging on his head while he spurted jets of hot cum, you swallowed. Working your mouth up and down the length, slurping any remnants of his spend.

———

“Mommy,” Odin spoke with a mouthful of his snow cone, the corners of his mouth were stained red from the flavoring, “Why are your knees all bruised?”

You smirked, eyes hidden by your sunglasses. Your knees were scuffed from the cement. Ren fucked your throat hard enough to scoot you across the flooring, leaving a streak of cuts on your skin.

Ren let out a plume of smoke, followed by a drink of whatever he had smuggled in his water bottle. “She’s fine, Mommy was helping Daddy earlier while you were playing.”

Belle snorted to your left, “Guess you had a good father’s day…”

———

love the sassy Ren family

TAGGING: @finn-ray-nal-beads​​​ @onlykyloscenes​​​ @candycanes19​​​ @historyandfandoms50​​​ @caelum-phyriina-vermillon​​​ @ghoulian13​​​ @mrs-kylo-ren​​​ @millenialcatlady​​​​ @relationshipwithmybed​​ @dancingmicrobes​​​ @wayward-rose​​​ @contesa-lui-alucard​​​ @daydreamsofren​​​ @insufferablelust​​​ @ohdamnadamm​​​ @mariesackler​​​ @caillea​​ @jalexunderthestars​​​ @shesakillerkween​​​ @glassythoughts​​ @zimmermansbrat​​ @not-the-teen-witch​​ @jynzandtonic​ @roanniom​ @celestiasin @glassbxttles @cornmousequeen @driversmutbucket @blowthatpieceofjunk @reyloaddict55 @emeritusemeritus @livi-s

[adultswim2021]

Sealab 2021 #47: “Monkey Banana Raffle” | March 21, 2005 – 12:15AM | S05E03

I literally just watched this and I can’t remember the name of the guy in it, so I’m calling him Max Power.

Here’s another one I didn’t remember at all. Sealab is now spinning it’s wheels in a more honed fashion. I would say that previous seasons saw the writers go from caring, to not caring as much, to literally crapping out scripts in a cynical attempt to see just how negligent they can be without getting cancelled. They are still operating within that mindset for this season, but the writing is actually getting a little better. Like they hit rock bottom and stayed there and actually learned to craft slightly more coherent stories while still residing at rock bottom. It results in a pathetically unfunny episode, but it’s simply mediocre and not insultingly  bad.

In this one an eccentric trillionaire (Max Power) shows up to Sealab and buys it on a whim. Surprisingly things start running very smoothly, a fact that Quinn rejects, assuming things will start going comically wrong any second now. To be fair, Max Power does do some erratic things like freeze Tornado Shanks in carbonite (who can still jump around and eventually gets pinned under a vending machine - like father, like son?) and fire hundreds of crew members. The title of the episode comes from his catchphrase, by the way, and doesn’t really describe the episode at all. He says it like, twice, in case you were wondering. Things do eventually go wrong at the end with a final gag that amounts to a stupid visual pun.

Notable things about this one: Debbie is still evangelical from the last episode, acting as a missionary in Max Power’s center-of-the-earth gold mine. She is there to convert troglodytes to Christianity. There is a WILDLY gross photograph of the Sealab Crew during the credits. It looks like a Something Awful meetup or something.

Honestly, the only difference between Sealab and Robot Chicken is that Robot Chicken was never good, and Sealab was. The first season had a handful of GREAT episodes, and only a couple of truly pathetic ones. Since I’m doing strict chronology here and alternating between Robot Chicken and Sealab 2021 episodes, I’m noting that neither of them  make me laugh almost at all. Robot Chicken could be considered technically better show at this point. But I hate them both, so why split hairs?

EPHEMERA CORNER

American Dad (February 13, 2005 – 11:30PM)

I don’t care that the above image isn’t displaying properly! Fuck YOU!

American Dad is Seth MacFarlane’s second show after Family Guy. If I remember correctly, it was created in the wake of Family Guy getting cancelled. When Family Guy was revived I assumed American Dad would fade away. But, it didn’t. In fact, it’s... (gulp) still on.

American Dad always came off as a pathetic attempt to recapture Family Guy’s cult popularity in a more mainstream way. The premise was to be more satirical and straight-forwardly sitcommy. The drawing style is almost exactly the same as Family Guy, but 20% more realistic (the head-to-body proportions are notably skewed). American Dad himself was a CIA Agent for Bush’s white house. Francine Dad seemed to be inspired by Edith Bunker (but hot), and the liberal feminist daughter Haley Dad was also meant to evoke All in the Family’s Gloria. Add Steve Dad, the horny teen son because it’s Fox, and a Stewie/Brian in the form of an alien and a fish with the mind of a German skier. I’m going off memories from watching the pilot way back when it first debuted, so please don’t ding me on details. But he IS German, right?

I’ve seen probably a couple dozen American Dad episodes in my life, either accidentally or on purpose. I’ve not seen anything from the TBS run, but I think I can safely say that American Dad is an awful show. I truly despise it and find nearly every aspect of it grating. It’s longevity is enormously weird to me. The voice acting, the writing, the design, and animation all hint at some kind of desperate attempt to recapture Family Guy’s charms. Everything about it seems dashed off. I picture a lot of shrugging in the writer’s room, who all seem to love writing visual gags that are funny on paper but bad on screen. Visual gags that would be impressive if they pulled them off in live-action, but in a lifeless cartoon they look like shit. Everything about it seems remarkably less-inspired than Family Guy.

The big thing I need to address here: Yes, I know Family Guy is generally hated by many people who like to think of themselves as having a superior sense of humor. I have been a Family Guy hater myself. While I don’t typically count Family Guy among my favorite shows, I do feel compelled to defend it to a certain degree. The gags in Family Guy are often very funny, and it doesn’t make you smart to deem the “cutaway” conceit of the show as bad writing. If you don’t like it, that’s fine! But the fact that many people will call Family Guy bad and American Dad good simply because American Dad doesn’t do cutaways has always been preposterous to me. How do you not see that American Dad is so much worse than Family Guy? In short - if you hate Family Guy, you better fucking hate American Dad even more.

American Dad, if I remember correctly, had a similar deal with Adult Swim as they did with Family Guy, which is that American Dad premiers on Fox and then a little later the episode debuts on Adult Swim. I remember it being a week later for Family Guy, but I don’t feel like looking it up to make sure, or assuming it was exactly the same with American Dad. But Adult Swim got in early with American Dad. TBS purchased American Dad from Fox a few years ago, fleeing the grasp of Disney’s Fox takeover, so it’ll likely be a staple on Adult Swim for the foreseeable future, unlike Family Guy which got yanked earlier this year. So, for better or for worse, we are stuck with it.* *I wrote this before I was aware of the revelation that Futurama was coming back to Adult Swim, but instead of editing what I wrote I am adding this. Also, I forgot about King of the Hill also being back. No such excuse. I’m bad!

MAIL BAG

I have a theory that the worst thing about the way Robot Chicken looks is the faces: The South Park-esque mouths mixed with either beady action figure eyes or big exaggerated bug eyes. I don't know if that's the main problem but I don't know what else to single out. Maybe action figures are just bad for comedy

I’m not wild about this either. I’d prefer Clutch Cargo mouths, so we can see Seth’s cool pierced lip he probably has.

[is-it-art-tho]

Summary: A mission gone awry, too many memories, too much blood, and not enough time. Bruce races to save a son he couldn't save before.

Prologue, Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4, Ch. 5, Ch. 6, Ch. 7, Ch. 8

_____________

Now.

Neither Jason nor Bruce wore seatbelts as they tore down the narrow German backroads, Bruce taking cues from Barbara on shortcuts and potential traffic holdups and watching her remotely change lights to green whenever necessary. Somehow they didn’t encounter a single officer on the way there—whether by luck or some additional maneuvering on her part, Bruce did not care.

He stared ahead, fighting the urge to glance over at Jason every few seconds as he maneuvered through the downpour. In the stuffy cabin, the smell of blood hung thick and coppery in the air, and he swallowed against a roll of nausea as he worked to keep the boy talking.

“Jason? Hey.” With one hand, he jostled Jason’s knee roughly. “Hold on.”

“M’awake.”

“Good. Talk to me. What’s the first thing you’re gonna do when we get back?”

“Crash…all of your German cars…”

Despite everything, Bruce’s cheek twitched with something almost like a smile. “You love those cars.”

“Not anymore. Whole country is…dead to me.”

“Alright. What else?” They took a particularly hard turn and Jason groaned as it threw him against the door. “Sorry.”

“Dammit. Dammit,” he hissed, his voice hitching, and something about the tone dragged Bruce’s eyes off the road to glance at him for just a second. Jason’s face was scrunched in pain, eyes squeezed shut, and though he was soaked to the bone, fresh tears stood out against his cheeks anyway. Panic pooled in Bruce’s gut as his heart leapt into his throat.

“I’m cold, B…” Jason whispered. “I’m…I’m really cold…”

****************

Then.

“God, it’s hot in here,” Jason said, shrugging off his jacket and letting it drop to the dusty warehouse floor with a heavy thump. He tugged at his collar uncomfortably.

Bruce’s eyes were trained through the clouded window at the apartment building across the street. “It’s an unairconditioned distribution center in the middle of a heat wave.”

“Uh, yeah. That’s kind of my point.” Pulling off his helmet, Jason shook his sweat-drenched hair, purposely splattering Bruce in the spray, then puffed out his cheeks with a sigh. “How are you not frying right now?”

“Breathable fabric.”

“That was a dig at my costume, wasn’t it? Dickwing said the same thing last week. What do you guys have against my look?”

Bruce eyed the bundle of leather at Jason’s feet, the thick cargo pants, the dense helmet tucked under his arm. “It’s a little heavy.”

“Well, my days of running around the city in glorified underwear are done so you’ll just have to deal with it.”

“We’re not the ones passing out from heat exhaustion.”

“He told you that?” Jason demanded. “That little—”

Whatever he was about to say stopped abruptly as Bruce held up a finger. Jason leaned forward to get a better view out the window.

“Looks like the show’s about to start,” the teen said, watching a man carry a duffle bag into the apartment. “How long before the others get here?”

“Should be within the hour.” Bruce glanced at Jason as the boy let out a massive yawn. “You don’t get enough sleep.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Jason let himself slide down the wall and crossed his hands behind his head, adding, “Kidding! Geez,” when he noticed Bruce’s disapproving stare. “If you get this bent out of shape over a couple jokes, what are you gonna do when I finally die for real?”

Bruce’s jaw flexed. “I have no intention of finding out.”

******************

Now.

By the time they were pulling up to the small flower shop on the outskirts of town, Jason was barely conscious and no longer truly responsive. An old woman with an umbrella and thick glasses ran up to meet them, as Bruce leapt out of the car and hurried around to the passenger side,

“Where are you hurt?” she asked, looking Bruce up and down quickly.

“Not me.” He opened the door and Jason’s head turned to look at her. He lifted a bloody hand from his gut and offered a limp wave before his eyes rolled and his body went slack.

The woman hissed something in German and ran back to hold open the shop door as Bruce maneuvered Jason out of the car and carried him inside. She led the way through the aisles of dusty vases and long-dead bouquets toward the tiny bathroom in the back where she pressed her hand to the mirror over the sink.

A red outline appeared around her hand, blinked, then flashed green, and a second later a section of the wall rumbled away with a small shower of dust and debris, to reveal a steep staircase that dropped into darkness.

Dr. Ziegler rushed ahead, the sound of her hurried steps swallowed by Bruce’s much heavier footfalls as he followed closely behind. Motion sensing lights popped on throughout the cave as they went, illuminating a much smaller, less equipped version of the cave back in Gotham.

“I’m going to need your help,” Dr. Ziegler said, already setting up supplies in the med bay.

“Understood.” Bruce laid Jason on the operating table and started working to remove the young man’s gear. As he peeled the reinforced garment away from the wound, he fought back an audible curse. This was the first time he was seeing the injury clearly, and here, under the stark surgical lights, the deep wound looked almost alive itself—pumping out dark swells of blood in tune with Jason’s own heart.

Nearby machines sprung on as Bruce hooked Jason up to them, sticking sensors along his chest and arms, clipping the pulse ox to his finger. He had just secured the gas mask to the Jason’s face when, against all odds, the boy’s eyes fluttered open.

“Jason?” Bruce said, his voice low enough that Dr. Ziegler wouldn’t be able to hear.

The teen brought a trembling hand up to his face and tugged weakly at the mask, unable to pull it down. His fingers left bloody smudges on the plastic.

Bruce lowered it to Jason’s chin. Beside them, one of the monitors was wailing. Jason’s vital signs were deteriorating quickly—too quickly.

“I don’t…wanna leave again…” His voice cracked as more blood burbled up and over the corners of his mouth. When he spoke again, it almost sounded like he was drowning. “I don’t…I don’t wanna leave...”

Bruce turned Jason to his side as he gagged and more blood spilled from his mouth and nose.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he promised as Jason’s coughing subsided. “You’re right here with me.”

The boy’s dark eyes were half-lidded but focused when he asked, “D-d’you think…I’ll…come back…this time…?”

“Come back from where?”

Jason blinked heavily, his gaze drifting as the anesthesia finally took effect.

“Come back from where?” Bruce demanded, but the boy’s eyes rolled back and he was gone.

“We have to begin,” Ziegler said from the other side of the table, resituating the mask on Jason’s face. “We have a lot of work to do.”

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Teen Humor Defies Appearances in Please tell me! Galko-chan

  With so many anime series to choose from, sometimes a little extra info can be helpful for fans who are looking to prune their queues. “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog” has your back because our goal is to connect fans with fun shows that they may have missed the first time around.

  This week we're heading back to high school with a comedy series that examines both the upsides and downsides of youth as we look back on Please tell me! Galko-chan, a series that celebrates its fifth anniversary this year.

    What's Please tell me! Galko-chan?

  Based on the manga by Kenya Suzuki, Please tell me! Galko-chan is a short-form TV anime from the winter season of 2016 with direction by Keiichiro Kawaguchi and animation production by feel.. Crunchyroll describes the story of the series as follows:

  Galko, Otako and Ojou are a trio of unlikely friends in high school with three very different perspectives. Each episode embarks on a day in the life of a trendy girl, an otaku, and a lady, as they discuss their “girl problems."

  Galko is a girl with a heart of gold who loves to dress up in gyaru (gal) fashion, Otako is a sharp-tongued otaku who gets a charge out of needling her friends, and Ojou is a space cadet who is equal parts supremely confident and completely oblivious. Together with their classmates, they tackle the everyday struggles of adolescence, comedy both subtle and crude ensues.

    Pastel World.

  The original Please tell me! Galko-chan comics are unique in that each chapter comprises a single, full-color page of panels exploring (or ignoring) a single topic posed in the form of a question. (i.e. “Is it true that...?”)

  The TV anime mimics this structure with lots of colorful keyframes and backgrounds with pleasant pastel color schemes and eye-popping abstract shapes, so it feels like a comic book brought to life. While the animation is limited and low-key, Please tell me! Galko-chan leans on the strength of its character designs as well as its strong sense of comic timing.

    Teen Topics.

  Anime is often contradictory in how it depicts the teenage state of being, with many series featuring characters that are either supremely innocent and unconcerned on one extreme or overflowing with torment and angst on the other. Please tell me! Galko-chan adopts neither of these extremes, opting instead for interactions that are best described as “ordinary.”

  The teens in Please tell me! Galko-chan act like teens. They bicker with their friends over trivial things, they gossip about their classmates, they swap dirty jokes. Galko and company can be brittle and overflowing with emotion, but they're also compassionate, curious about where they fit in, and concerned with how other people perceive them. It's a combination of sincerity and insecurity that feels honest and refreshing for a comedy series starring teenage protagonists.

    Sex and/or Education.

  Please tell me! Galko-chan has a very blunt approach when it comes to comedy, and no subject is treated as taboo or off-limits. The series includes numerous gags that could be seen as vulgar comedy or toilet humor, but the topics that Galko, Otako, and Ojou explore aren't necessarily rooted in a sense of shame, so the punchlines may surprise you.

  Audiences should expect discussions on subjects such as self-image, the intimate aspects of human reproductive anatomy, menstruation, sexual relationships, and even dealing with unwanted body hair. The humor is presented with more of a clinical eye than a titillating one, but viewer discretion is advised.

    Tell Me More, Tell Me More.

  Crunchyroll currently streams Please tell me! Galko-chan in 149 territories worldwide and the series is available in the original Japanese language with subtitles in English, Spanish, Latin American Spanish, French, Portuguese, Italian, German, and Arabic. There is currently no home video release of Please tell me! Galko-chan in the United States, but if you want more teens figuring out the tough questions, an English language version of the original manga is available from Seven Seas Entertainment.

  With a sharp sense of humor and deep empathy for the troubles and tribulations of being a teenager, Please tell me! Galko-chan is a series that proves you can't judge a book by its cover. If you're in the mood for an eclectic comedy that's cool with even the awkward and unpleasant parts of growing up, then please consider giving Please tell me! Galko-chan a try.

    Thanks for joining us for this week's installment of “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog.” Be sure to tune in next time, when we check out an unusual entry from the minds of Mari Okada and Tsutomu Mizushima when we take a bus trip to a rumored utopia with The Lost Village.

  Is there a series in Crunchyroll's catalog that you think needs some more love and attention? Please send in your suggestions via email to cruisingcrunchy@gmail.com or post a Tweet to @gooberzilla. Your pick could inspire the next installment of “Cruising the Crunchy-Catalog!"

      Paul Chapman is the host of The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast and GME! Anime Fun Time.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Paul Chapman

[very-grownup]

The Year is 2020 and I Watched Neon Genesis Evangelion for the First Time, Part 2

Episode 8.

Misato takes a bunch of teen boys out on a military rendezvous thing because she is at the point in her life where they are the only ones who think she is cool and don't judge her for her terrible lifestyle and alcoholism.

We meet a new friend, Asuka, who has red hair and is German (to contrast with Rei who has blue hair and is Japanese). She establishes her dominance by slapping teen boys and refusing to be embarrassed when the wind blows her dress over her head. She thinks Shinji sucks because he has poor self-esteem and empathy is hard and society does not have an understanding place for teen boys who manifest their issues through passive depression. She has an EVA and she loves getting in the robot because it is cool and powerful and strong. Her EVA is red which does make it objectively the coolest of the giant robots so far. She comes with her own inappropriate adult guardian named Kaji who has poor boundaries, does nothing to deter her crush on him. Kaji sabotages Misato as an authority figure by flirting with her and alluding to a sexual history. I guess it makes sense because fourteen is a prime age to begin noticing people sexually and the combination of that and the adolescent desire of the tantalizingly distant adulthood makes that one hot, relatively young teacher you have a fascinating source of fantasy.

All of the boats are named after Shakespeare plays except for the one called "Over the Rainbow". I like this.

This is the first episode where I notice Shinji is referred to as something which the subtitles have decided to call the "Third Children" so that I know these are bad subtitles that would rather be literal than good even though this is my first time watching the series!

A majestic sea pancake with teeth attacks from the water and basically all these ships are fucked and probably a lot of sailors die and Asuka gets in the robot and makes Shinji also get in the robot because she wants him to know how cool her robot is.

Asuka seems like the kind of girl who doesn't expect her peers to like her and who will pursue the approval of cool adults instead and doesn't mind not being friends with her peers as long as they fear/admire her because those are more reliable feelings than friendship.

Kaji /fucks off/ while the boat is under attack because he's not actually here to protect Asuka and these teens AND the giant robots are super disposable. Misato briefly thinks he's going to be helpful before realizing he's ditching. I feel like that's probably a lot of their dynamic - Kaji letting Misato down even though each time he shows up part of her thinks maybe he won't suck. This is probably Misato's relationship with a lot of people. There's a reason she drinks.

There's a cool underwater fight scene which is also a city destroying fight scene because the cities of the 20th century are underwater due to Incidents. They refer to the power plug and the cord Asuka's robot is attached to as the umbilical cord and hey I hate that. The only two remaining battleships get fucking jammed into the sea pancake's mouth simultaneously like hotdogs and then blow up and that's considered a win. /So many sailors are dead from this incident/.

Kaji fucking ditched to bring Shinji's dad a briefcase with some fucking space blob DNA encased in a fancy casserole dish and they refer to it as Adam and fuck you know nothing good ever comes from things named Adam. This concludes my report on Episode 8 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Episode 9 and 10 behind the cut.

Episode 9.

Asuka hates being in Japan and all her peers hate that she's in Japan. Asuka derives her self-worth from excelling at something she is used to having no competition in (piloting a giant robot) and being homesick just pushes that need harder. Shinji is upset because Asuka's aggressive and enthusiastic approach to the thing he is most frightened of makes him feel like less of a man and also less grownup. Also she has boobs and he is fourteen and girls existing is maybe as distressing as giant robots.

Someone in this episode realizes that having fourteen-year-olds pilot the giant robots is both a stupid and embarrassing decision when Shinji and Asuka's poor teamwork cause an Angel to duplicate itself which is the opposite of giant robots.

There is a lot of giant robot slapstick in this episode and it's very good and I laughed.

Kaji has stuck around to sexually harass Misato and make her workplace awful and make everyone, including Misato, not take his harassment seriously because they used to date so it's not harassment it's just falling into an old bad habit and it's depressingly realistic.

Misato is made entirely responsible for Asuka and Shinji's slapstick failure even though Asuka is supposedly Kaji's responsibility. She comes up with a very stupid plan to help them synchronize via DDR and being humiliated in front of their peers. Humiliating teens IS funny. But it also feels cruel when you consider Misato is the closest thing to an ally Shinji has. How much of Misato's poor decision making (with respect to the kids' emotional wellbeing) is a result of Misato living her best worst life and how much is the result of Misato being stressed out and doubting herself and her decisions and so much else because of Kaji's constant negging and flirtatious presence? She's already in over her head with the Shinji situation.

Shinji and Asuka are forced to live together in Misato's tiny shitty apartment and do everything together and in tandem and it's mostly a comical training montage of how much they hate each other.

There's a night when they're alone and they steal the opportunity for privacy. Asuka sleepwalks onto Shinji's futon and she still has boobs and Shinji is still 14 and he moves in to kiss her while she's asleep, until he realizes she's crying for her mother in her sleep. He removes himself from temptation, realizing that Asuka's just a fucked up kid, too. But it's a realization that comes with resentment: he wanted that fantasy of the peer who is also a sexy, confident grown up because it makes Asuka both an aspirational power fantasy figure and a sexual fantasy and if she's just a messed up kid like Shinji she can't be either.

It's sad because the whole episode encapsulates how NERV is failing these kids as well as why. Misato makes Shinji and Asuka figure out how to synchronize and work together but in a bad shitty way where they don't really understand each other because this is the military. Misato's job is to defeat the Angels and doing that efficiently and quickly takes priority over Shinji and Asuka's well-being as individuals. So, it works in the moment, but they aren't any closer to each other or understanding each other. There is no /time/ for empathy.

Their synchronized battle at the end of the episode against the duplicated monster is visually very cool and exciting and dynamic and a great sixty seconds of animation and it's clearly mostly a light gag episode to support the resources going to those sixty seconds. But that's sort of sad too, isn't it? This concludes my report on Episode 9 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Episode 10.

Okay so we started Beastars which has some really gorgeous use of colour that manages to echo the distinctive and striking style of the manga while being very much its own thing and we end the night with Madoka where tonight were time loop death pacts, so the Evangelion episode kind of got overwhelmed.

There's an Angel egg in the depths of an active volcano and Asuka's giant robot has to be put in an adorable space suit so as not to be crushed/melted by the pressure. Asuka's got a box to trap the egg in. I think they want to get the egg out of the volcano because if it hatches in the volcano it'll explode but they don't seem to have a plan for what to do with the egg if they manage to remove it from the volcano (they don't, obviously; egg hatches and has way too much mouth).

The main takeaway is that Shinji's dad is 100% ready to fucking nuke his son if it's necessary to stop the volcano from volcanoing with the Angel? I'm not actually clear on this point, but I am clear that Commander Ikari will nuke his son, possibly for many reasons.

It ends with Misato taking the kids to a hot spring because they couldn't go on their class trip to Okinawa (even though surely all the beaches are radioactive?). Surprisingly, you do not see the ladies in the hot spring, although Shinji gets a boner hearing Misato admire Asuka's breasts and skin. A penguin is the first creature to see Shinji's erect penis. This concludes my report on Episode 10 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

[realmforaika]

AIKA: A Profile

~(for the BNHA universe)~

💎 General

Name: Aika Amayoshi | 天佳 (Amayoshi) 愛禍 (Aika) Gender: Female Place of Birth: Stuttgart, Germany Race: Human Ethnicity: Half Black, Half Japanese

💎 Appearance

Height: 5′7 Skin Color: brown, NC46 (MAC Shade) Hair Color: black, white eyebrows Hair Style: worn straight with curtain bangs and ends curling up, curly 3B type when wet/after washing Eye Color: dark grey; silver when using power Features: one beauty mark on each cheek Accessories:  - ear piercings: 2 helixes and an orbital on left ear; stud and tragus on right ear - black and silver rings - occasionally, a headband decorated with diamonds

💎 Personality

Likes: homecooked meals, horror movies, lazy days Dislikes: authority, being alone Agreeable Traits: loyal, strategic, empathetic Disagreeable Traits: blunt, selfish, impulsive (outside of fighting), can be uncooperative Talents & Skills: arithmetic,  Habits: - tends to switch to German unconsciously when emotional - fidgets when containing her emotions or lying - prone to overindulging in activities that bring her satisfaction/happiness Perceived By Others (Strangers): Most people will perceive Aika as vain, cocky, and uncaring for her peers. Enhanced with her smug looks, formal way of speaking, and elegant appearance, one may describe her as being like a callous regal. Because of her mother’s infamy and certain middle school events, she has quite a few bad traits naturally attached her, the most rumored one being a manipulator of men. While disliked, or even hated by groups of people, most will not confront her personally beyond small insults due to fear of her rumored connections. Despite this, Aika has a small fanbase, mainly composed of teen boys who have been fans of her either since her appearance on hero-themed child TV shows, or her rare and personable interview clips which shows her more honest self. 

💎 Quirk

Name: [idk yet 😭] Description: the ability to gain physical strength from the absorption of surrounding subjects’ emotional energy.   Limitations:  - physical strength power is limited to what is attainable for a (quirkless) human.  - physical touch can disturb the user and/or make them vulnerable - if the amount of power used is outside the trained ability of the user, extreme exhaustion will occur with the possibility of nosebleeds How Its Used: Aika will typically use the emotional energy of her opponent to gain just enough strength to damage them with a blow. Thanks to her versed skills in martial arts, she typically does not need to absorb much energy from others to be lethal. When cooperative, she may also absorb particular emotions from her allies to help them concentrate better. (Ex. absorbing feelings of doubt and worry)   - Outside of fighting, Aika will read the emotions of others to feel what they’re feeling. When physical touch is involved, a person is able to feel her emotions as well.

💎 Stats

Power: 3/6 Speed: 3/6 Technique: 6/6 Intelligence: 5/6 Cooperativeness: 2/6 Ability to Push Someone’s Buttons: 6/6

💎 Background

[coming soon]

💎 Relationships (Canon Characters)

Izuku Midoriya: While starting off as mere opponents, their relationship grows into being that of friendly allies. They both are experts in their own field of knowledge which leads to them becoming a strategic powerhouse when partnered on the battlefield. The two will regularly consort each other on advice when it comes to quirk-training or analyzing an enemy. 

Shouto Todoroki: Having parents in the hero-industry, they both have known each other since childhood. While their parents are cordial, the two of them are less than friendly with each other due to their opposing personalities. At one point, it was rumored they were dating due to their family’s associations, to which they both gagged at the thought. After Aika and her parents become more involved with UA, their relationship develops to being similar of siblings. 

Momo Yaoyorozu: Also having parents that associate with each other, the two of them have known each other since childhood. Unlike her relationship with Shouto, Aika is close friends with Momo. Momo is one of the few people in her life that she feels comfortable talking to about her problems. Momo also enjoys the boost in confidence she receives after being around Aika. 

Ochaco Uraraka: Their relationship can be described as being the perfect foil. Starting off with pure disdain for each other, they both gain a sense of respect for the other after partnering for a battle. Despite this respect, you will find them most often bantering and attempting to one-up the other in baseless competitions. The one topic that they seem to come together on however, is the topic of romance.

Kirishima Eijirou: The two of them quickly become friends due to Eijirou’s natural ability to befriend the seemingly un-friendable. He is one of the first persons at UA to not only break through her cold façade, but to openly admit his platonic admiration for her. Unlike Katsuki, Aika also openly returns the platonic affection and one will often find the two of them having friendly spars and competitions, or laughing and joking with each other. 

Katsuki Bakugou: If there is one word to describe their relationship, it would probably be ‘complex’. At the start, the two of them are brutal rivals, seeing the other as the bane of their existence. While Katsuki dislikes Aika for her less-than-positive attitude toward heroes, Aika dislikes him for seeming to be the prime example of the problem with hero society. However, after a shared defeat in battle, the two start to realize their feelings on subjects may overlap more than they could conceive, igniting a sense of comfort in the other. Despite becoming the other’s source of comfort, they both cling to their enlarged egos, making their public interactions interesting if not confusing to audiences. 

💎 Trivia

While fluent in both German and Japanese, she knows only a little bit of Japanese slang and curses

‘Aika’ is actually her middle name, chosen by her mother. Her first name, chosen by her father, is German and is secret to all but one other person.