#geotuation talk

[dnfnoodles]

I opened twitter to check something and the first tweet I see is so right

[dnfdteam]

like i just think most of the things that happened recently (not particularly the geotuation) wouldnt have been as much of a problem if they were resolved privately And honestly im so grateful that shelby gave victims the courage to speak out but that doesnt mean ‘go on twitter dot com and talk about your relationship that didnt end the way you wanted it to during a Really sensitive time period’

[dnfnoodles]

These past few days have been crazy, I just can’t understand how it ended up turning into this?? It’s one big miscommunication and misunderstanding turned into a moral superiority debate. Did George hurt caiti? Yes. Did he mean to? No. Does that invalidate caitis feelings? Absolutely not. Does this mean George deserves deplatforming. No. At the end of the day everyone in that room was drunk, whether they should have been or not. Mistakes were made at the time without knowledge, and people were made uncomfortable without knowledge. We will probably never know the true story and people will just have to be okay with that. While I understand caiti was extremely uncomfortable with the situation painting it as SA was not the right thing to do, because it paints the situation as something it wasn’t. But George also should have been more perceptive to her feelings when he first responded and honestly should have been way more careful with who he was hanging out with And way more cautious of others boundaries and communication. But this does not make himself horrible person or a r**ist like some people are trying to lead on. At the end of the day this all could have been solved if people and just communicated. Caiti was failed by everyone in that room. I hope caiti is able to heal from this, and has a good support t system close to her(cos god knows her friends who were there are not who she needs rn) I hope George can take this situation and learn from it so it can never happen again

.

[dnfnoodles]

idk I really don’t like that so many people including ccs are focused on condemning and bringing down dteam there has been barely any support shown to Caiti for comparison. With Shelby people focused on showing her so much support and that’s what ccs seemed to be focused on too. Now it’s just “support caiti, and here’s a 500 words rant about dteam and also I’m going to keep vagueing them for the next few days” like it’s just unproportional

[dnfnoodles]

Now that I’m thinking about it those rumors about George must have been vaguely spread to way more ccs than just brighton bastards because after The truth video so many ccs still were avoiding dteam and literally no one from mcyt space even said anything about the truth video which was weird but now knowing there was vague rumors about this spread it would make perfect sense

[dnfnoodles]

what sticks out to me is that she's really hammering on the point of how she tried to hide her discomfort by appearing as comfortable and non-disruptive. if she were conscious of his ego and were adjusting her behavior so that he would receive it positively (ie coming back to sit in the same spot right up next to him, playing along and laughing, play-fighting) then i do not think it is fair whatsoever to attribute how he responded to her as an example of HIS intentional use of a power imbalance in an abusive way. she obviously regrets the interaction but she's using lots of strongly colored storytelling to make any action she regrets entirely his fault in retrospect. that might be word salad . -🦄

I just don’t understand how in his position someone would see that the other person is at all uncomfortable. It keeps switching up from her not giving explicit consent to trying to make it look like she is consenting to make him happy?

[dnfnoodles]

unfortunately i think the fact that this went public at all was because there was an intent to deplatform george/dteam as a whole. caiti refers to george as her abuser and implies sexual assault, something we now know is untrue given georges retelling, though caiti may reflect on the events differently. this was of course spurred on by shelbys own story, where many female ccs were coming out with stories of abuse by large male ccs. i can see caiti believing the version of events where george is a predator and must be deplatformed, and how he is a danger to others. its not unlikely to me that her friends may have influenced her in how she thinks about it, and im almost certain that her friends responses are fueled purely because they hate the dteam and want them gone. frankly, i find it vile that they would use the good that shelby has done for their own biased agenda. theyre only hurting other victims by doing this.

Just bringing back what Dream said

[dnfnoodles]

I just feel like this situation could have been resolved so much sooner and with so much less hurt if it was handled better by all parties involved. Or just handled privately without every detail getting scrutinized by twitter and instead in a calm conversation without twitter’s eyes on everyone which makes people react worse and make worse decisions. Like I just really wish for everyone involved that it would get solved differently

[dnfnoodles]

Genuinely ppl dont understand that the mere existence of a power imbalance isnt toxic, its when someone uses that imbalance to manipulate someone. Which no one is accusing gnf of

yepp

[dnfnoodles]

this whole thing is just one huge miscalculation between both parties and was just pushed to the public eye because of a friend group with a massive hate boner and a one sided vendetta against dteam. if her friends were truly acting out of care for her, they would’ve thought to let it be handled privately at first

I just don’t see how making it public is meant to change or fix anything

[dnfnoodles]

no wait i need to go back to this because why are people so fixated on verbal consent when she just said that she wouldn’t leave the situation because she didn’t want to upset or make him think wrong about her because he was a big cc she looked up to. Because wouldn’t she also not say she was uncomfortable even if he asked her for verbal consent then? Wouldn’t she just say yes she is okay with it either way?

[dnfnoodles]

also how was he supposed to know she was a previous fan? like she was brought along by someone who was talking with dream, i would honestly just assume that they were people in the same social circle, not someone who had been a fan

i don’t think people with “power” walk around all day presently and consciously thinking about their influence. and maybe they should, but they’re also human beings who make mistakes

yes exactly anon. they just don’t think about it and that’s human. maybe they should but it’s not that simple as it seems especially to people on twitter. Especially because he didn’t see her as a fan or anything but as just another cc

[dnfnoodles]

hmm i can see the argument that at most, he was not considerate of this power imbalance, which i understand because to him it was just hanging out with friends. but to caiti, i can see how she would be scared of him considering how much bigger of a platform he has and that he is a man. i dont think its entirely fair to make every large creator walk on eggshells around others, but i do think george couldve been more careful of how his influence couldve affected her and admitting that fact. george isnt evil for not recognizing it, but i do think he should be more cognizant of it in the future especially if hes going to be intimate with someone. that being said, tough to do when youre drunk. i guess overall he should just be more careful in the future.

..

[dnfnoodles]

because if she didn’t state she was uncomfortable because he was a big cc but he wasn’t using power imbalance maliciously because he didn’t seem to see the power imbalance can he be blamed for it? Like I guess yes he could be more aware but I just think it makes sense that he wouldn’t realize how she would feel because again he saw her as a cc also and again it’s something you have to learn because it’s not natural to be put in a position like that and understand the influence it can have on others. maybe he should have asked to be sure she is okay but what if the same thing that made her not do anything to stop it make her say she is okay with? like would verbal consent it that situation change anything at all if she claims she didn’t do anything to stop it because he was this big cc she wanted to please and didn’t want to disappoint