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ssa-montgomery · 4 years

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I Tried To Hate You (But Somewhere Along The Line I Fell In Love) Chapter 2

Word Count: 1925

Story Summary: When Addison Montgomery-Shepherd shows up in Seattle Meredith Grey tries to hate her. She really did but somehow while trying to find reasons to hate her she found more reasons to love her.

Characters: Meredith x Addison, some minor Meredith x Derek/Addison x Derek/Addison x Mark, Callie Torres, Mark Sloan

Warnings: Angst, divorce, some surgical talk, mentions of affairs.

A/N: Guess who's finally back with more of this story! I'm sorry this took so long but I'm so glad to finally have the new chapter done :) I hope you all enjoy seeing Addison's point of view! I decided to have Addison take a little longer than Meredith to really realise the depth of her feelings for this one. Thank you all so much for the support on this story so far! And was that a little hint at the next main character to show up at the end of the chapter??

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

Taglist is open!

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If she was being honest things with Addison's marriage hadn't been easy for months before Derek left New York. Even in the chaos of med school and residency her and Derek used to be able to find time for their marriage, they could put time aside to have dinner together every weekend and she used to be able to count on seeing her husband at least once during the day but over time things had gotten worse. Dinners were cancelled in favour of surgeries and Addison found herself falling asleep next to Derek's empty side of the bed almost every single night with him at the hospital. They had let things slip past the point where they could save it.

This had taken a toll on Addison emotionally. It left her feeling unwanted and alone in a house that once felt like a home to her. Derek barely gave her more than a quick brush of lips against her cheek and it had started to make her feel undesired. It's what she would blame when she slept with Mark Sloan, her husband's best friend. Mark had been there for her, had seen her, brought her dinner on nights when Derek wouldn't come home and he had told her she was beautiful when she was starting to doubt it. It was also what lead to the end of her marriage when Derek caught her in bed with Mark.

Derek hadn't flown into a fit of rage like Addison had imagined he would, and perhaps even hoped he would if it meant he still cared enough about their marriage to be angry. Sure he yelled, but it was more just at Addison to get out than anything else. After that, he had taken his things and left for Seattle.

Part of her had hoped that despite Derek's reaction he still cared, that he still wanted her and so she gave him some space before trying to fix her marriage. Before leaving New York Addison had a plan for arriving in Seattle. Her plan had been to work the case Richard had called her in for and finally talk to Derek, finally get him to listen to her about what happened that night and the problems their marriage had before heading back home to New York. Of course, that plan became a thing of the past rather quickly after landing in Seattle.

Addison still had some friends in Seattle - and by friends, she meant Richard of course - who had warned her about the young, doe-eyed, blonde intern her husband was now seeing. The first time she met her was in the lobby of Seattle Grace Hospital her first day in town. She had made a scene, and she knew that. Part of her had immediately felt guilty about the biting comment she had made to the intern. "And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband." As soon as she had seen the look on Meredith's face it was clear she hadn't known Derek was married. It wasn't Meredith's fault. If anyone was to blame it was Derek and admittedly herself.

She had quickly realised she didn't blame Meredith at all and in fact, felt sorry for her. After only a few days of working in the hospital, she had quickly learned that gossip spread fast and she had unintentionally placed Meredith right in the middle of it all. It all seemed to be for nothing as well. Derek was back to acting the same way he had in New York, and possibly even worse with the new title of Adulterous Bitch that he had taken to calling her.

She was starting to slip back into that same mindset she had been in back in New York but this time the person who pulled her out of it was someone she least expected.

Meredith had been on her service for almost a week straight and she was starting to enjoy her company. She was a quick learner and always seemed curious about Addison's work, always watching everything she did closely. Meredith listened carefully when she spoke and it made her feel like the work she was doing actually meant something when it came to teaching the interns.

She had found herself starting to care more and more for the young intern. She felt seen by Meredith and she had to admit she could see why her husband had fallen for her. Not only was she sweet but her beauty hadn't gone unnoticed by Addison. She often found herself staring at Meredith when she was leaning against the nurse's station filling out charts or in the cafeteria when she was sitting around laughing with her friends. Normally Meredith's eyes were almost the colour of steel - her intense concentration reflected in her eyes - but in those moments they would soften and the pale grey was stunning.

Meredith was a young surgeon and she still had a strong urge to learn, no matter the speciality. Addison had no doubt that she would make a fine surgeon someday and she hoped she could at least have an impact on that part of her life. They had learned to work well together and Meredith was now her favourite intern to have in the O.R. with her. She had learned Addison's routine in surgery and would sometimes know what she was about to ask before she even had the chance to say it.

She found herself with a growing urge to get to know the intern outside of the hospital, to maybe even call her a friend. She told herself the urge was just from needing more friends in Seattle but there was something else, some other reason lying just below the surface that she couldn't place her finger on. She hadn't felt this drawn to someone since she first met Derek back in med school and whatever that feeling was, it was out of her control now. With her divorce finally squared away she hoped her and Meredith could spend more time together without Derek's interference.

When Doc was still at the trailer - oh how Addison missed that old dog, it surprised her how attached to him she had become - Meredith would sometimes make the trek out to the woods to visit him and on a rare occasion Derek wouldn't be home. Addison found these times oddly comforting. Meredith wasn't as open with her then and they would spend most of the time simply talking about Doc or about their surgeries that day but she enjoyed the company.

It was during one of these visits that Addison first noticed the urge to be closer to her. Doc hadn't been on his morning walk yet when Meredith arrived and she offered to take him. Addison insisted that Meredith didn't need to, if she was being honest the walks gave her the chance to clear her mind of the stress at the time but Meredith admitted she had missed taking him out on walks herself. As a compromise Addison suggested they both go. While they were walking down the forest trail Meredith had told her about one, particularly drunken night in Europe where she and her friends had found themselves lost in a forest and she had laughed as she recounted the details. It was the first time Addison had heard her talk about her past and hearing her laugh so genuinely had made her heart flutter.

~~~

It had already been an insanely busy day and it was barely lunchtime. Addison had just gotten out of a four-hour surgery with Meredith Grey and it had ended in a close call. They had almost lost the patient and it took everything Addison had to save her. She was already exhausted and in desperate need of coffee and a conversation with Callie.

The cafeteria was busy when Addison arrived but luckily she had gotten her coffee in the lobby and was able to bypass the queues that snaked around the room. She had to push her way through the crowds to reach the corner of the outdoor seating area that Callie had claimed a table in. Once she reached the table she pulled out the chair opposite Callie and slumped down into it, placing her coffee cup down on the table.

"So you've been with both men and women right?" Addison asked casually as she leaned forward to take a sip out of her coffee. Thank God for caffeine, she didn't know if she could make it through her shift without it.

"I- Well, good morning to you too Addison." Callie laughed at the forwardness of her question.

Callie and Addison had quickly become close friends after their first case together and they were open with each other about everything. When Callie had first come out as bisexual Addison was one of the first people she told. Which is why she was now going to Callie with this issue.

"Callie, I have two labouring moms, surgery at four, a sexuality crisis and only a fifteen-minute lunch break," Addison explained with a frustrated groan. Busy surgical schedules didn't leave much time for personal issues which Addison guessed was why is had taken so long for all of this to catch up with her.

"Right." Callie nodded resting her elbows against the table and leaning in closer to her. "Yeah, I have, what's on your mind, Addison?"

"Does having feelings for a girl feel," Addison hesitated for a moment unsure of what she was even trying to ask Callie. "Different?"

"You mean different than being attracted to men? It can. It really all depends on what you identify as and I don't want to assume anything here Addison. I will say, if there's someone you think you might be attracted to at the moment and you're comparing it to Derek or Mark, then yes, it will feel different." Callie explained. "Derek was your first love, you fell in love young and that was always going to be different anyway because attraction like that was new and fun. Mark was different because you were hurting because you were confused and it was during a dark time in your life. But this whoever it is, it's going to be different because you're an adult now Addison. You know who you are and what you want. The main thing you need to ask yourself is, do they make you happy and go from there. It's a learning process and it might take you some time."

"She does." Addison smiled then, it was bright and genuine. "She makes me happy. Thank you so much, Callie, you really are an incredible friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Of course Addie." Callie reached across the table and gave Addison's arm a squeeze. "And you absolutely do not have to tell me who this mystery potential crush is but if you did want to your secret would be safe with me."

"I think it's best if I don't say anything right now, it's a bit - messy." Addison laughed. She wasn't even entirely sure where to start when it came to explaining this. How do you explain to your best friend that you've fallen for your ex-husbands ex-mistress?

"Right got it." Callie laughed with her. "But Addison, I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy. I really mean it."

"Thank you, Callie." She nodded. "Oh and for the love god please don't mention this to Mark, I'll never hear the end of it."

Taglist: @alexander-gideon-lightwood-bane

#greys anatomy #greys anatomy fanfic #greys anatomy fic #greys anatomy fanfiction #addison montgomery #addison montgomery fanfiction #meredith grey #meredith grey fanfiction #meredith x addison #meredith x addison fanfiction #meradd #meradd fanfiction #meddison #meddison fanfiction

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ficsnroses · 5 years

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Let It Go III - Keanu Reeves x Reader

This may be read as a stand alone/oneshot.

However, I recommend you read the first two parts to get the full feel. Find Part 1 & Part 2 here! I had so much fun writing this story, and I hope you all enjoy reading this conclusion just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please give me feedback if you have a minute! This was the first story I did that wasn’t a oneshot, and I would love to know what I can do to make them better in the future. Thank you! :) *flashbacks are indicated in in text*.

Word count : 4087

Warnings : Lots of angst, lots of fluff, swearing, symptoms of a mild panic attack.

Requested : No

Summary/Prompt : What do you do when the love of your life is slipping away?

On the eve of December, Y/N laid solitary in her bed, puffed, tired eyes spewing tears down her fragile cheeks. She reminisced on her life in the past year, and the decisions that lead to her current state.

With the beginning of Winter just a few figures away, the days had become increasingly cold and lonely, leaving Y/N in a melancholier state than usual. They had become shorter and darker as well. Sometimes, as she felt the first gust of frosty morning air fill her lungs after the crestfallen night, she swore she took it as relief. The customary feeling of suffocation she constantly felt proved to be only a distraction.

It had been a little over a year since that miserable night she had endured with Keanu. The night that continued to haunt her till today. She thought time would fix the gaping hole she felt in her heart, however, the situation had proved otherwise. She thought time would only make her feel better, perhaps proving to her that the decision she made for them that night was right. Contrary to her belief however, it seemed like time only fogged her mind with the thought of Keanu more and more as it passed. Every memory, ever part of him seemed to be painted over her mind, like a mural.

_____

On the other side of the city, Keanu found himself tossing and turning the corners of the bed ceaselessly. He opted to leave the refuge of his bedroom for a midnight smoke. He found himself having a lot of those lately, anything to escape the constant stiffness he felt ever since Y/N left. Running a hand through his long, scruffy hair, he struggled to keep his groggy eyes open. He struggled to find solace in the dark, lonely hours of the night ever since the weight of Y/N’s body had stopped resting beside him in their bed. It had been well over a year, yet the thought of her still managed to leave a physical toll on his heart. A midnight smoke helped relief that tension built up inside of him, only temporarily though. He had stopped thinking it was possible to forget her. He too, had stopped believing time would heal the wounds that disheartening night left on them both.

Dragging his feet along the tile floors, Keanu breathed a heavy sigh as he passed the kitchen. It was dark in the house, yet he could still see all the different canisters, the block of kitchen knives and various other cooking utensils and gadgets neatly tucked away on the marble counters. Y/N loved to cook. Better yet, she loved to cook for Keanu. She knew how busy he always was, and how before her, he barely got the chance to have a home cooked meal made with love offered to him. She would constantly be searching up recipes, or watching the food network channel to find new delicacies to try out. She often made Keanu feel at home for a lot of other reasons as well. Ever since they had met, Y/N had helped Keanu feel a true sense of belonging. She was his closest form of family, and the last year without her had left him feeling more numb than ever. He found himself reminiscing more than usual lately, and that was just what he did in that moment the moonlit night channeled over the kitchen, leaving his mind drifting to the thought of Y/N once again.

~~~~

“Babe! I told you, it’s 2 leveled scoops of flour, not heaping.” Y/N’s sweet, honey dripped voice spoke softly to Keanu, giggling in the process.

“What’s the difference..?” Keanu questioned back, brows furrowing together. Y/N had decided she wanted to bake a cake that day, and Keanu offered to help. He loved helping her in the kitchen, it was quality time they got to spend together doing a fun activity. Not to mention, he loved the way she would scrunch up her face when she was reading the recipe and got a little confused, he found it to be the cutest sight he had ever seen.

“Heaping means a little more than the amount we actually need, silly. You’ll put the entire quantities out of wack and mess up the recipe.” Y/N smiled at him, walking over to place a kiss on his cheek, as she rests her hands on his chest. She loved when he helped her in the kitchen, it reminded her that he wanted to ease her workload and spend time with her. He was always the biggest, softest man. It didn’t matter if the activity was feminine, or girly per say, he would do anything with Y/N as long as it meant he got her all to himself.

“Well, you should have made that more clear before. Why is this such a complicated process anyway?” he said, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. She always smelled like fresh lavender, her rose moisturizer lingering on her skin. It was his favourite scent in the world.

“I think I did, honey.” Y/N smirked up at him, wiping away flour from Keanu’s cheek with her thumb. He had somehow managed to get flour all over his face, and in his hair as well. Gosh, could he be anymore adorable?

“You look really pretty today, babe. Not to mention, this floral apron makes you look absolutely adorable.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss into her messy hair, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Y/N smiled up at him, getting lost in his mahogany eyes, before she pressed a kiss to his broad chest.

~~~~

Memories like those killed Keanu a little more each time. He often found himself trying his best to not think of them, he knew his already fragile heart could barely take it anymore. He had stopped being able to shed tears anymore. He had blocked himself off from the rest of the world, almost putting up barriers. He knew Y/N was the only person that could make him feel true to himself again, and he knew she wouldn’t be coming back. Pulling a cigarette out of the pack with his teeth, Keanu continued his trek to the dimly lit backyard once again, to indulge in the sweet relief of the tobacco smoke that would soon fill his lungs.

_____

Y/N hadn’t been able to get a single moment of shut eye tonight either. She hadn’t been getting much relaxing done lately at all actually. The previous year had flown by, and it felt like just yesterday she had walked out of her home with Keanu and never turned back. She had prayed everyday that Keanu would find someone new to hold his heart, someone for him to confide in and share his life with. She still wanted him to be happy and experience all the joys of life. They hadn’t kept in touch, or been speaking since the break up, Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to stay away from him if she heard his voice. His beautiful, almost melodious voice. It was her favourite sound in existence. Even after the year she spent away from him, she could sometimes hear him in her head, like a poem she could recite a million times. Maybe that’s what they say about true love, it never really erases away. A part of it always stays, taking shelter in the depths of everything you do.

Y/N often had trouble sleeping even when she was still with Keanu. However, long, painful, sleepless nights were even harder to endure when you’re alone. She had come to learn that the hard way. Sitting up on her bed, pulling her knees to her chest, and staring at the empty space vacant beside her on the bed, she frowned. She remembered the way Keanu helped her on nights just like these. He would hold her close all night, whispering, talking to her, sharing stories until she would finally fall asleep. She would do the same for him in a heartbeat. They did those types of things for each other, that’s the kind of love they shared. They always tried to put the other before themselves.

~~~~

“Why are you slouching, babe?” Keanu questioned as he walked into their bedroom. They were just about to get ready for bed. Y/N was sat on the edge of their bed, tilting her neck sideways while running her hand up and down the sides. The skin on her face was glowing from the moisturizer she had just applied after washing her face. He thought she looked the most beautiful at night, before bed. When she was finally relaxed, in her natural state of calm, and where only he could see and have her all to himself.

“I had a pretty long day at work today, kinda got a stiff neck and shoulders.” Y/N replied, a slight wince apparent in her voice, as she closed her eyes.

“Aw baby, why didn’t you call me? Here, lemme help.” Keanu started towards the bed. He propped himself just behind her on the bed, and moved her hair out of the way. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder blade, he began massaging her shoulders. His fingers worked at the knots, being careful to not hurt her more.

“Oh my gosh baby, that feels amazing.” Y/N closed her eyes in ecstasy.

Keanu chuckled, pressing another kiss to the back of her head. He kept massaging her, trying his best to relieve the tension. “How was your day today, other than that? Anything cool happen?” Keanu asked. He always asked about her day, because he genuinely cared and wanted to know. Y/N loved that so much about him. He never did things just out of routine, he did them because he actually wanted to. He invested himself in her, because he actually wanted to.

“It was fine. Same old same old. Although I did pet a super cute puppy on my lunch break today.” Y/N replied, turning around to face him. “Can you cuddle me right now though? Jenny kept talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend today at work. I missed you a lot.”

“Did you only miss me because Jenny kept showing off her boyfriend?” Keanu chuckled, opening his arms to allow Y/N in.

“Of course not.” Y/N smiled up at him. “I always miss you, you big dork.” Y/N laughed, nuzzling her face into his chest, breathing in his scent. Keanu wrapped his large arms tight against her, leaning back on the headboard. He placed a kiss in her hair, before running his hands up and down her back soothingly. “I always miss you too, love.” He whispered.

~~~~

Y/N hadn’t realized how heavy her tears had started falling after that memory surfaced her mind. Memories of Keanu would often come to her this way, creeping up and ultimately shadowing a gloom of heartache over her. Physical heart ache. The pain had got so much recently, Y/N almost didn’t know what to do with herself, how to escape the constant overshadow of her life with Keanu. Burying her face in her hands, Y/N cried her heart out in that moment. Perhaps, the hardest she’d cried in the last year.

“What the fuck am I doing?” Y/N questioned herself, sighing. Her tear stained eyes were starting to burn. “I love him so much. I love him so fucking much. What the fuck am I fucking doing?” she cried to herself, almost gasping for air. Her hands started to shake, and she felt like pulling all her luscious locks out of her head. She had managed to repress these feelings, but tonight, it was as if all the forces were against her. She didn’t think she could do it any longer.

With trembling fingers, she grabbed a hold of her phone, immediately scrolling to Keanu’s contact in her phone. She hadn’t deleted his number, or their text conversation. She hadn’t opened it in the last year they’d spent apart, she didn’t think she would be able to read it. It would have hurt too much. She also couldn’t bring herself to delete it, she didn’t want to delete any part of him from anything she had. As much as she had told herself she needed to, for his own good, she never truly wanted to let go of any part of him. No matter how much she lied to herself that she had to. Her eyes glossed over their last conversation, dating back to November of the previous year.

“On my way home now, babe. See you in 20.” – Keanu

“Ugh, I had the WORST day. Hurry home so we can watch the next episode of Black Mirror :)” – Y/N

“How about I pick up some take out on my way home?” - Keanu

“Please! Feel free to bring a few bars of kit kats as well….” – Y/N

“Got it. See you soon darling.” - Keanu

“See ya. Love you.” – Y/N

“Love you more, honey.” – Keanu

Staring at their convo made her heart ache even more. She hovered her finger over the “call” button, unable to hold back any longer. She dialed, but quickly shut it off after the first ring. She needed to see him. A phone call wouldn’t suffice. She didn’t care if it was past midnight, she needed to see him now. Grabbing a sweatshirt off the hamper beside her bed, she tugged it over her head swiftly as she paced out of her bedroom.

_____

On her drive over to the house she used to share with Keanu, her phone rang twice with missed calls from Keanu. He had obviously started to worry about why she gave him a missed call in the middle of the night, after so long. He sent her a text as well.

“Hey Y/N, everything okay?” – Keanu

She only drove faster as her eyes hovered over the screen.

As she parked her car in the familiar drive way, she got out and paced herself towards the front door. She felt a bit silly, but she knew she needed to do this right then and there. It had dawned upon her, that she had been keeping them apart from each other for all this time hoping it would be the best for them. But she realized it was wrong. She was miserable without him, he was miserable without her. He had been trying to tell her that for months now, but she wouldn’t listen. She was too stubborn. They needed each other, no matter how hard their relationship got at times. But maybe that was the beauty of it, maybe that’s what kept their bond so strong. She couldn’t be without him, and he couldn’t be without her. It was just the way it was.

She felt her entire body get tense as she walked up the pavement. Was she doing the right thing? She didn’t know anymore. She thought she did the right thing when she left that day, but time had obviously proved her wrong. She felt as if she couldn’t trust her judgment anymore regardless. Over anything else, she cursed herself for making Keanu go through all this pain. The image of him crying, begging her to stay, his red, tear stained eyes pleading flashed in her mind. She felt a tear roll down her cheek just at the thought of all the hurt she caused him. She would possibly curse herself every single day if things didn’t work out today. If he had moved on, and didn’t feel the same anymore.

Taking a deep breath, she rang the door bell, hugging herself as her mind raced, the arctic cold December air engulfing her figure, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Before she could contemplate any further, a tired Keanu opened the door, taken by surprise at the sight of Y/N at the door. His Y/N.

“Y/N, oh my gosh, you’re here, is everything okay?” he questioned, taken back. He moved to the side. “Come in, please.”

“Hey.” Y/N sighed. She could smell a mixture of cigarette smoke, with a hint of wood, maybe a tinge of sage radiating off him. It felt so familiar, yet she felt slightly out of place, as if she had suddenly intruded. She quickly glanced around, the house was exactly how she left it. The pictures of them were still hanging on the walls.

Keanu shut the door, and stared at Y/N with worried eyes. “Are you okay, Y/N?” he was about to touch her arm, but caught himself. He didn’t want to invade her personal space. He didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.

“Yeah. I guess. I uh, I don’t know, Ke. I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.” She replied, looking down at her feet, hesitant to say more.

“Hey hey, that’s alright. You don’t need to tell me anything right away. You wanna sit down? Here, I’ll grab you a cup of mint tea, your favourite.” Keanu said, compassionately. He was visibly worried about what brought her to him so unexpectedly. She felt her heart twist in her chest. He still cared for her just as much as he did for the 7 long years they spent, in love with each other. They still were in love with each other.

“No, its okay.” She grabbed at his arm, stopping him. She retracted as she realized that may have been slightly inappropriate, considering the circumstances.

Keanu gestured to the couch, inviting her to sit with him.

They sat in silence for a few moments, Y/N not sure how to start speaking. Keanu understood, he wanted to give her all the space and time she needed. Suddenly, Y/N chuckled a little, her sad eyes forming crinkles on the edges.

“Gosh…I feel like such an idiot. Such a stupid idiot.” She shook her head, looking down.

“Hey…don’t say that. What’s on your mind, love?” Keanu questioned, being patient and understanding. His hand hovered over hers, when she didn’t move her hand away, Keanu took it as an okay to hold her hand.

It felt good to hold her hand in his once again. It had been so long, but it felt so natural. So right.

“Ke I…I think..” she trailed off, searching for the right words, staring out the window. “I think I made the wrong choice. I think I was trying do what was right for the both of us. I really wanted you to be happy. I really did. But…I realized, I don’t think I..” she stopped speaking as her voice cracked. Keanu grabbed both her hands now. He almost couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. It felt too good to be true.

“Keanu, I don’t know if I’m over stepping. I don’t know if I’ve fucked this up beyond repair. I just know, this past year hasn’t felt right. I don’t even know if I’m making sense.” She finally looked up into his eyes. He started to form a gloss over his pupils.

Keanu chuckled, looking down at their hands holding each other. He hadn’t felt that happy in over a year, since the last time they were happy. Together.

“I wish we hadn’t lost that year…” Keanu said lowly, almost above a whisper.

“I wish we hadn’t either. I’m so sorry.” She replied, connecting their eyes once again. They both stared at each other for a moment, taking in each others each and every detail, each bump, each crevice. They both felt their hearts swell with happiness. They were finally home.

Keanu ran the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip, pulling her closer. He stared at her lips. “May I?” he asked permission. He wanted to be completely sure she was okay with this.

Y/N nodded her head, smiling, tears pooling her eyes. She moved forward, as he wrapped his arms around her tight. He couldn’t believe she was there, in his arms. He didn’t think he would ever get the chance to be so close to her once again. Finally, their lips connected for the first time in what felt like forever. Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck, tears streaming down her face.

“I’m so sorry, baby. So fucking sorry.” She started.

“Hey, no. Don’t you dare Y/N. We’re gonna put all this behind us, okay? I don’t wanna waste another second being away from you. You have no idea how lost I felt without you, baby.” He spoke, as he connected his forehead against hers. Y/N moved her hand to rest on his cheek as she closed her eyes.

“I felt so lost without you too, Ke. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever needed. I don’t think I can ever stop loving you.” She replied.

“I won’t ever stop loving you either Y/N. You’re everything to me, my whole world. I never thought I could imagine my life without you, and this past year only proved that.” Keanu began to press soft kisses all over her face. One on her forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, on her jaw. He couldn’t help himself.

Y/N smiled, running her hands through his hair. She nodded, agreeing with his every word. She felt like pouring her heart out to him, she wanted him to know just how much she loved him, and always would. No force strong enough could break what they had.

Keanu brought her hand up to his lips to press a kiss to the back of her hand. Tears were streaming down his face now as well. “Y/N, baby..” he started, as he shifted to kneel down in front of her. “I don’t want us to have to go through anything like this ever again. I felt so…trapped without you.” He grasped her hands tighter in his now. He started her right in the eyes, so she knew how sincere he was being.

“Y/N, you are my everything. I promise, I’ll try to better myself every single day for you. I promise I’ll be the best version of myself, because you make me wanna be that way. I promise I will do everything in my power to keep you happy, to love you, cherish you and treat you as the gem you are. I don’t want to see a future without you in it, I don’t even wanna think of building a home without you. I want to grow old with you, and I want to start my family with you. I owe you my everything, Y/N. Gosh, I love you so much.” He took her hand, and placed it on his chest, just above his heart.

“Every part of me belongs to you, Y/N. And it always will. I don’t want to waste another minute away from you.” He said, never breaking eye contact. Y/N nodded her head, smiling at him adoringly.

“Baby,” Keanu looked down quickly, gathering the strength to continue his sentence. “I know, this isn’t what you must have dreamed of, but I don’t think I can wait any longer. We owe this to ourselves. I know this isn’t traditional…” Keanu took a big breath, and exhaled. He locked eyes with her once again. “I’ve never felt so sure of anything in my entire life. You are my biggest achievement, what I’m most proud of.”

He softly brushed his fingers over the back of her hand, and gripped it tighter now.

“Y/N, will you do me the absolute honor of marrying me?” he asked, hopefully. “I’m not perfect in any way, but I promise I won’t ever let another tear stream down your face attributed by me.” Keanu leaned up to kiss a tear away from her cheek, soft as a feather. The moonlight channeling over the room only made his features look dreamier. “Unless, it’s a tear of joy.”

Y/N’s eyes widened, filling with even more tears.

“I don’t have a ring right now baby, but I promise I will put the biggest, most beautiful diamond ring on your finger. If you’ll have me, of course.”

Y/N smiled bigger than she ever had before. She couldn’t believe it, it was as if all the pieces fell perfectly into place right in that moment.

“Yes. Yes a million times.” She nodded frantically.

Keanu smiled huge as well, closing his eyes letting a tear stream down his cheek. He moved her ring finger to his lips and pressed a soft, delicate kiss to where the ring would rest.

Y/N pulled him in closer by the neck, and connected her lips to his. That kiss they shared may have been the most love filled kiss they ever shared, filled with all the hopefulness, all the passion they held for the future. All the gratefulness they felt to be brought back together once again. Always and forever.

“I love you. With everything I have. I will keep saying it to you each and every day of my entire life.” Keanu mumbled, resting his head in the crook of her neck.

“And I will say it right back, each and every day, for the rest of my life. I promise, nothing can keep me away from you ever again.” She replied, holding him close, refusing, to let him go.

fin.

#keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x you #keanu reeves #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves oneshot #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves imagines #keanu reeves fluff #john wick x reader #john wick oneshot #john wick x you #john wick imagine #let it go #john wick fluff #john wick fanfic

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sportymama · 5 years

Text

Leaving Paine Grande we headed to Campamento Italiano. It was a relatively short hike, but we knew there were two miradors after we arrived and dropped our packs that we wanted to see.

Francés and Británico miradors.

We needed to get to camp after crossing a raging river on a one-person swinging bride. As I am standing, waiting for my turn to pass over this unreliable-looking bridge, I am thinking, “one person of normal size with a 20lb pack, or a small child, or a large grown man with a 30lb pack or …?” What truly does a one-person bridge mean?

It reminds me of how God works in our lives. Sometimes there is no answer right away, and life feels like a risk. Often. But in the end always works out according to plan.

I could allow negative thoughts, doubt, anxiety, fear, despair, worry, denial, disbelief, or uncertainty fill my head. Fill my heart. I could stand on that bridge and see the massive, furious, arctic river below me and the old, weathered, wooden, swinging bridge ahead of me and stop dead in my tracks allowing panic to grip me, but God isn’t a God of panic. He’s not a God of fear or anxiety. He FREES us from all of that!

“This is my command-be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

We crossed and checked in to Italiano, set up camp, filled our water bottles, and set out for the miradors.

The Valle Francés was inconceivable! The entire trip, I said over and over how beautiful each place was but this…. We stopped and took tons of pictures and then pressed on towards Británico. Patagonia is full of beauty but also full of unpredictable weather, and as we pushed towards our next mirador, the clouds started rolling in. We continued as the wind ripped at us, and then the rain started. Light at first, and then really picking up. We pulled out our rain gear from our slack packs and decided that, as we looked towards the mountains, it was only getting worse, and the view we were craving was going to have too much cloud cover, so we turned back for camp.

We got back to camp, peeled out of our rain gear, made some dinner, and dropped into the tent.

We continued on to Campo Central the next day, and we knew as we approached that we were nearing the end of this hike but that the most unprecedented part of our journey was ahead. Los Torres.

We waited in line to check-in, found a place out of the wind to pitch our tent, and headed for the showers. Ya know, being clean and showering are things we really take for granted. It’s such a luxury on a backpacking trip! The showers were HOT, and I stood in there way too long!

Afterward, we decided to hike over to the Refugio. The restaurant was warm, and we ordered GIANT beers that tasted like a little bit of heaven. They made us lazy and sleepy, which was exactly what we needed for a quick bedtime. We had an early alarm for our frigid, dark hike to the Towers before the sun rose in the morning.

Our daybreak was cold — possibly the coldest of the entire trek. Most of our days were warm, hot even, with the harsh sun and no ozone. When we did have rain, we welcomed it! We left our tent and belongings at camp, hiking only with our slack packs filled with water, tea, some food items, and warm clothes. We started early, pre-dawn with our headlamps on.

I was walking in constant prayer on our ascent. Meditative. I knew this was our last day, and I was overwhelmed in my heart with gratitude. The reasons many. The time with my husband, the adventurous spirit God created in the two of us, our friendship, and the fact that we can spend days and weeks together in a pocket-sized tent and still laugh, still love, not argue, and grow even closer together as a couple. Thankful that my husband respects and encourages the wild-girl in me. We get one another to our depths. Grateful for the opportunity to start this journey, and the healing that took place on my body to get us to the trail start. I am utterly floored by this Earth and the paradise that God has created for us. Everything so intricate and complex. I was, and am always so taken by the enormous mountains and how small and humbled they leave me feeling, stripped of everything, deprived of ego and pride. Hiking allows us the opportunity to feel God at a whole new level, a deepening, to see His provision in our lives, to hear him in a way that is clear and simple and uncomplicated. It’s easy when you break it down. He provides all we need and loves us so wholly and excessively. I was most grateful for the way the Most-High spoke to my husband. Revealing to him some areas that we were struggling with direction and trying to find closure.

We both know when we are in a place of discontent, confusion, uneasiness, or dissatisfaction, it comes from us not being aligned on the path that our Creator has us on. Things in our hearts that God never assigned to us. It’s so easy to veer. Easy to get caught up with our own agendas, eagerness, yearnings, and desires. It’s easy to “think” we are walking in God’s will and to B E N D our intention J U S T enough to feign closeness to what God wants for our lives, but when it comes right down to it… it is a skewed view that ends us up on an uneven, angled messed up path. Not matched or harmonized at all with what God’s plan is. We falter and end up thinking, “how did we get into this situation?” “Why aren’t things better?” “How is this still happening in my life?”

The mountains make it simple to listen.

As we continued our ascent, getting to a bouldering area, we knew we were getting closer. The trail was getting more difficult. We were excited about our first view of the Towers. The pinnacle of this entire trek!

When we reached the top, we paused — suspended in a moment awe-inspiring beauty!

Cordillera del Paine is such a spectacular set of mountains! It’s the area known as the Torres del Paine (Towers of Paine), the three massive summits are gigantic granite monoliths that are UNESCO-declared biosphere reserves. The highest peak of the range is Cerro Paine Grande, at 2,884 meters (9,461 feet).

Paine means “blue” in the native Tehuelche language and is pronounced PIE-nay.

It was COLD, and the wind bit at us. We met up with others that had been in our original group the day we started in Laguna Amarga, each of us making this pilgrimage in our own time. Little by little, we trickled in. We took photos, sipped hot tea, broke bread together, all nestled next to an outcropping of rocks away from the wind and elements.

Soon, we knew we needed to return to camp and break down to make our busses back to Puerto Natales.

It was hard to leave. Hard to turn our backs on this extraordinary work of beauty.

Returning to camp was somber. It’s hard when you know a journey is coming to an end. Sometimes I feel like I could wander the mountains forever. Every time I hike I love the stripping away it does on me. Peeling off the lamina. I come back changed in some way. Always. Something is left behind, dropped off, and left in the dirt, unneeded, with new lessons learned, and new promises and assurances put in its place. It gives me time to do some soul searching and reevaluating. Where does God want us/me? Where is He placing us for most use? What’s important? What do we genuinely need? What is superficial and fake and inauthentic in me or in those I have in my life? Where do I draw the line? What boundaries need set or reestablished? What do I need to let loose of? Am I harboring unforgiveness for anyone? Have I put unnecessary pressure on myself or those around me in any way?

DCIM100GOPROGOPR1772.JPG

DCIM100GOPROGOPR1758.JPG

It’s the opportunity for God to pluck me up, and right my path with such clarity, it’s undeniable.

We packed up in near silence, only joking about how stinky we were. We headed to the Refugio and met up with our fellow hikers. It was fun to have one final toast to our accomplishments, to hear the stories from everyone about their journey on this incredible trek — their take-away from the trail. One beer down and we loaded our bus back to Puerto Natales, spending a couple of days here before hopping a plane for Santiago, where we almost missed our flight due to falling asleep in the airport. How were we to know they changed the gate? I joke! We ran for our new gate in a drowsy stupor and reached the jetway only to see closed doors. We stood staring, weary, fatigue ravaging us and just started pounding on the glass doors. As the jetway was moving and the agent approached the doors, she saw us and having mercy on our completely worn-out souls, stopped the bridge, and asked them to let us on the plane. Had we been in the States… no way this would’ve happened. I could’ve kissed this sweet Chilean woman straight on the mouth.

ARE

EXHAUSTED

We laughed & laughed after finding our seats because this is always the way for G and I. Always coming in, hurriedly, screaming, with our pants on fire. We aren’t and have never been “planners,” and this sort of thing is just expected in any given circumstance with us. In this situation, however, we were just plain spent and fell into a delicious, deep sleep on benches in the aeropuerto.

We spent a few days in Santiago in the spa-comfort of a fabulous hotel. Allowing ourselves pampering and delicious PLANT-BASED foods (boy do we always miss greens and fruit) and exploring the city.

Off and away from the mountains….

Grateful, continually. Humbled, unceasingly. Changed, as always.

Patagonia -Coming to an End Leaving Paine Grande we headed to Campamento Italiano. It was a relatively short hike, but we knew there were two miradors after we arrived and dropped our packs that we wanted to see.

#wordpress #Argentina #backpacking #Blogger #Chile #dreams #faith #funny #health #hiking #humor #media #O-circuit #Patagonia #prayer #Santiago #through hiking #Torres del Paine #training #travel

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collecting-stories · 7 years

Text

cats + columbo | jughead jones

I orginally posted this on a Riverdale blog that I started ( @rivervixen9) but then I deleted it because I don’t really want to get bogged down with another blog. But I figured I’d keep it here, in case any of you enjoy Riverdale and wanna give it a read.

“I know it’s 3am but I can't find my cat”

You hadn't exactly lost your cat, per say. You had been attempting to sneak out of the house and your cat, Matlock, had slipped his pudgy body through the doorway with you. So now, instead of the much needed sleep you had been looking forward to, you were trekking around in search of a fat grey Scottish fold whose parentage likely consisted of a pack of wolves.

That entirely was how you ended up at the drive-in. It didn't occur to you, in your tired stupor, that Jughead also being at the drive-in at 3am was odd. You were too concerned for the health and well being of a disgruntled Matlock who you had followed all the way here.

“What in gods name?” Jughead had emerged from the building looking both attractive and disagreeable, his usual appearance, and was clad in pyjamas (which you still didn't find odd).

“Jughead!” You were relieved even though you had never actually socialised with the American Horror Story extra in training. “You haven't seen a cat have you?”

“A…cat?” Jughead wasn't sure he was hearing correctly.

You stood before him in a onesie and uggs, clutching your phone and using it as a flashlight. He must have been dreaming, there was no way his sleep was being disturbed by some River Vixen at 3am because you couldn't find a cat.

“Yes, particularly my cat, Matlock.” You commented, flashing the light around the dark lot in hopes of finding your questionably domesticated cat.

“No, I’ve seen no cats. Why don't you just leave some food out for it.” Jughead followed you as you walked further through the lot, toward the large screen set up at the end. He realised he should just go back to sleep but he had a feeling you wouldn't let him.

“Matlock won't come around for food, he’s too prideful. I’m just worried if he stays out to long he’ll pick a fight with a den of foxes. He has a lot of pent-up aggression that my mom’s cat whisperer thinks stems from our insistence to keep him indoors.”

“Is one of us on drugs right now?” Jughead questioned, fighting the urge to laugh.

“I'm not.” You replied, “what you do in your free time is up to you Juggie.”

He wrinkled his nose at the sound of the nickname, “don't call me Juggie.”

“Anyway, I’m concerned that Matlock is out here somewhere attempting to cross Sweetwater River and join a band of feral cats on the other side where they’ll begin their life of crime.”

“I’m sorry, you can hear yourself speaking right now correct?” He asked.

“Oh yeah I’m the weird one for being reasonably concerned for the wellbeing of my cat but you, a Truman Capote wanna-be named Jughead, are normal.” You replied pointedly.

“Touché.”

“I heard you got questioned by Sheriff Keller.” You commented.

You and Jughead had wedged yourselves through a hole in the fence of the drive-in and had made your way into the woods. He had taken out his own phone and was using it as a secondary flashlight, checking for any signs of a non-descript cat.

“So?” He looked over at you curiously.

“I don't think you did it, not it's any consolation to have a stranger tell you that.”

“Thanks?”

“Besides, if you had done it, how boring and cliché, you know? Like, oh the loner/weird kid did it, so original.”

Jughead genuinely laughed, “is that your Sheriff Keller impression?”

“It's pretty spot on right?” You laughed. “I know I’m not supposed to speak ill of the dead and I’ll probably be struck down by lightening for it but no one is perfect, Jason Blossom included, and I think turning it into one of those bullied by a jock/revenge plots is boring.” You concluded.

“Well thanks I think.” Jughead mumbled.

“It's a compliment, means I think you’re intelligent.” You remarked. “Matlock!”

“Matlock!” Jughead repeated a moment after you, then, “you think I’m intelligent because I didn't kill someone? What sort of logic is that?”

“Not because you didn't kill someone, because you didn't kill Jason Blossom.”

Both you and jughead continued wandering through the woods as the sun started to come up. The clearing for Sweetwater river came up and you stopped at the bank, shining your phone light along the edges. Jughead did the same, continuing to call for Matlock but having no luck. You didn't want to walk too far away from him or get separated in the woods. It was silly but ever since they found Jason’s body in the river you were afraid of going near Sweetwater alone. It was only your determination to find Matlock that led you this far out.

“I don't think your cat is here.” Jughead commented.

“Jughead, I think you may be right. Well do you want a cheeseburger?” You asked, heading away from the water.

Jughead jogged a little to catch up to you. He considered how ridiculous the both of you must have looked, him in his pyjamas and you in your onesie, wandering the woods at daybreak in search of a cat. The only thing that usually brought him near the river these days were writing or sleuthing with Betty. Not girls and their cats.

“Do you ever like, take that hat off?” You asked, stealing a glance at the crown beanie that covered Jughead’s hair.

“Occasionally I shower.” He commented.

He wanted to ask if he was supposed to have given up looking for the cat or if Matlock was still definitely missing and in need of being found. You didn't terribly concerned for your pet, though you still flashed your phone’s light around every so often as you walked. You went back through the woods, passed the drive-in, and along the road to Pop’s Chock-lit shoppe.

“Matlock! There you are!” Even from the entrance of the driveway you recognised the cat sitting under the sign on the curb. “I should've known, he loves the French fries here.”

“I would just like to reiterate that he is a cat.” Jughead pointed out.

“How do you feel about take out Jug?” You asked, “Pop’s isn't a fan of Matlock.”

“How shocking.” Jughead muttered. He watched as you picked the cat up off the ground. It went limp in your arms, cuddling into you. “That is the loudest purring I’ve ever heard.”

“He’s very aggressive about his happiness.” You replied.

“Is that what the cat whisperer says?” Jughead asked, reaching a hand out to pet the cat.

You laughed and nodded your head. You and Jughead went inside Pop’s, sitting Matlock in a booth before ordering three cheeseburgers and two fries to go. You threw in a strawberry milkshake at the end and told Jughead you would treat. “Since I made you look for my cat with me.”

The food was taken back to your place because your mom would have already left for work by 5:30. You fed Matlock before getting out sodas and plates. Jughead and you sprawled on your couch as if you and he were best friends and did this sort of thing all the time. You turned on early morning reruns of Columbo and explained in great depth why Peter Falk was the greatest on-screen detective of all time.

“Second only to Mark Sloan.”

“Mark Sloan doesn't count,” Jughead laughed, “Dick Van Dyke wasn't a detective he was a doctor.”

“But did he ultimately solve the crime?” You asked.

“Yes.” He admitted.

“That's what we need.”

“Dick Van Dyke?”

“No! Like, a great detective like that. I mean you and Betty are doing a pretty bang up job but we need a Columbo, someone who knows how to ask the right questions.” You commented.

“How'd you know Betty and I were working on the murder?”

“For the blue and gold right? Cheryl was talking about it.” You replied, “very Scooby-doo of you.”

Jughead tossed a fry at you but didn't say anything else. You laughed and kicked your feet out, trying to poke him. He jabbed you back, his foot shoving you in the thigh. Soon you and he were kicking each other's legs furiously, laughing.

“Surrender! I’m king of this couch!” You shouted, twisting to the side to avoid being kicked.

“Never!” Jughead laughed, jabbing you in thigh and causing you to fall off the side of the couch. He jumped up on his feet, balancing on the cushions, “who’s king now?”

“Still me!” You laughed and grabbed his leg, pulling him down.

He flopped onto the couch and then slid the rest of the way down to the ground beside you. The two of you sat in a heap on the ground, huddled practically on top of each other because of the way Jughead had fallen.

“Okay, that was good.” He said, catching his breath.

“Oh god it's a school day isn't it.” You fell back onto the floor, stretching out.

“It is.” Jughead nodded, “and I’m still in pyjamas.”

“Well let me change and I’ll walk you back to the drive-in. Then we can go to school.” You got up off the floor and headed for the stairs.

“I uh…” he thought about the best way to make some excuse for why you didn't need to come or his clothes were at the drive-in or something else entirely.

“It’s cool Jug, you listened to me tell you my cat duels wild foxes.” You shrugged, “it can be our secret yeah?”

“Sure. Thanks.” He nodded.

Sorry for breaking up the flow of only posting Peaky Blinder, Taboo, and Penny Dreadful.

#riverdale imagine #jughead jones imagine #collecting stories imagine

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veryangryhedgehog · 5 years

Link

“Scattered Pieces,” an Ede Valley story by Hedgehog.

March

When Cindy awoke, it was to the beep of hospital monitors. She bolted up suddenly, nearly dislodging the IV from her arm, and glanced around the unfamiliar room rapidly. Where was she? What had happened? The walls were white. Was she dead? Then her eyes fell upon Marcell, half-dozing in an uncomfortable chair next to the bed she was laying in, and she relaxed. If she was dead, then there was no way Marcell would be here.

He blinked at the noise, and smiled, relieved. “You’re awake,” he breathed. “I was getting worried.”

“What… happened?” she asked. “St. Adelaide’s, the Truth? Is everyone alright?”

“They’re all fine,” he grabbed her hand. “As for Adelaide’s, well, I might as well show you.” Sighing, Marcell grabbed a remote from the bedside table and flicked it towards the TV.

Cindy gasped at the image. Behind the scrolling text of the news program was live footage of St. Adelaide’s hill, or at least, what used to be the hill. All that was left there now was a gigantic crater.

“Oh my god,” she muttered.

“When we woke up, we could see the sky. Thank god it was dark by that point.” Marcell stared nearly wistfully at the TV. “When you were still out cold, we got you to the hospital. That was three days ago.”

“Three days?” Cindy’s eyes widened. “And… the Truth?”

Marcell made a face. Not the greatest of signs. “It’d be best if Aurum explained. But right now you need to rest.”

“I have been sleeping for three days, you know.”

“And now you’re going to sleep a little more,” he intoned before kissing her on the forehead. “Oh,” he added. “Before I leave and let you sleep…” he suddenly looked very guilty. “About what happened down there, when I… lost control…”

“When you almost killed me, you mean?” Cindy confirmed.

He nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never should have—the two of us, it’s… too dangerous.”

But Cindy just rolled her eyes. “I forgive you. And no, it’s not. If the only time I’m in danger is when you’re being forced into an existential crisis by an unfathomable cosmic entity, then I think I’m alright.”

Marcell just shook his head. “I’m never going to be able to dissuade you, am I?”

“Nope.”

“Then in response to your words down there,” he managed a small smile. “I love you too.”

Cindy’s smile then was the sun itself. She grabbed his hands, and he pulled her in for a soft kiss, and in that moment, Cindy knew that everything was going to be okay.

~~ o ~~

The three of them were always there now, just on the edge of Doug’s vision. They sat in the chair in the hospital room, they looked out the window to the parking lot below, they never got too close, and they never spoke. But they were here now, in the real world for good, brought out of the depths of his head in a plume of mercury off-gas. A barrier had been crossed, and there was no going back now.

Doug took this development as he had taken most of the others in his past; he shrugged, and simply thought: “Great. I guess this is my life now.”

It had been three days since that Niko kid had brought him here, and at least there had been a little improvement since then. His vision was mostly back to normal—sans the constant visual hallucinations—and his thoughts weren’t running through his mind like the extra thick kind of Aunt Marma’s Genuine Maple Syrup anymore.

The shaking and the spasms, however, had only gotten nominally better. “That will improve with time,” the doctor told him. “But it’s unlikely that they will ever fade entirely. Mercury poisoning is not something that can be easily reversed. Some of the damage to your motor functions and other parts of your brain might be permanent.”

The doctor seemed nearly perturbed at how well Doug was taking all of this, but he couldn’t very well tell him that this was just the culmination of over two years of near-constant abuse. Then he’d be recommended a counselor and that would be a pain and Doug would much rather deal with it in his own special way: bottling all of it up and figuring it out himself. Sure, it probably wasn’t the most effective, but it was certainly the easiest.

But he wasn’t thinking about all that now, not really. Because for the last three days, only one thought had been dancing through his mind, cavorting around his dreams: how he was going to kill Abigail Hodge.

The first step of this complicated, multistage plan was to get out of this hospital. Then he was going to track her down and murder her dead. There were of course a lot of auxiliary steps in between this, not all of which made sense to anyone except Doug. But that was all that really mattered. He was going to kill her.

For now, however, all he could do was bide his time. He still could only walk about to the bathroom and back before his legs began to give out from under him. But he was getting better, slowly regaining his strength back. Any day now, he would begin his quest for vengeance.

Except of course, that nothing could ever go according to plan for Doug. Because the next morning, something wholly unexpected happened. A nurse just strolled into his room, grinned at him as if nothing was wrong, and said: “Doug, your sister is here to see you.”

Doug’s blood turned immediately to ice. It was Abigail. It had to be. She was the only person who knew about that. But wrong again, for an instant later, the woman who strolled through the door set him into an even more confused panic.

At first he thought he must be hallucinating the whole thing, because she should be dead. The last time he’d seen her she’d been through the windshield of Morgan’s car. But it wasn’t in his head, because Cocaine was in the corner, snorting something off the rim of the sink.

This couldn’t be real. Elizabeth was dead.

He couldn’t say anything, his throat glued closed.

The nurse merely smiled at him, then turned to not-Elizabeth. “I’ll leave you too alone, Ms. Bailey.”

“Oh please,” she grinned. “Call me Jilli.”

Ah, he understood now. This was all some kind of trick. Some bizarre mercury-fueled dream. Clover’s relation, Elizabeth’s face, Jilli’s name. If he squeezed his eyes shut he’d wake up in a second.

It didn’t work.

“If you’re thinking this is a dream,” the woman smirked, “you’re wrong.”

“Who the hell are you?” Doug asked.

“Me?” she grinned. “My name is Kei. I’m a warrior princess from the moon. And I’m here to make a deal with you…”

~~ o ~~

April

Both Cindy and Tommy had been in and out of the East Branch a lot over the last few weeks. After a short recovery, the whole group met once more and Aurum explained the situation.

“Unfortunately,” she sighed. “It seems out mission is not yet complete.”

“What do you mean?” Niko asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Looking upwards, Aurum attempted to explain. “When you stabbed the Truth, you didn’t destroy it, merely fragmented it. Which is good, it’s far less harmful that way.”

“But we still have to track down the pieces,” Marcell sighed.

“This doesn’t seem all that uncommon,” she added apologetically. “Abigail claimed to have it in her mind, after all, and… other times.” It was subtle, but Tommy didn’t miss her glancing over to Servus. Strange.

So Cindy was in and out helping Marcell and Aurum do research. She proved nearly invaluable with both her technological and magical advantages.

Tommy, however, was there for a different reason. Even after everything that had happened, Mathilda still refused to budge, and he had come to the conclusion that she was broken. But then he remembered something: Aurum had said that it was probably Atlantean in construction, and now… well now there were two Atlanteans living temporarily in the library. So he asked them for their help.

“I was raised in seclusion far outside of the city,” Gil confessed. “But Muirne may be able to help.”

“Aye,” she nodded. “I’m no expert, but my mother was a makinist. You said this was a wagon?”

“That travels between dimensions,” Tommy nodded.

“I’ve heard of a few prototypes. I’ll take a look.”

Just as they were about to leave, Tommy felt a tap on his arm. He looked down to see Servus staring at him with his usual deadpan expression. That had been the other reason Tommy had been coming to the library.

Ever since that first raid on St. Adelaide’s, it appeared that Servus was beginning to develop a personality. It was very subtle, he had trouble emoting and especially speaking, and seemed to be terribly confounded and confused by all of this. And so from one lost kid to another, Tommy just kind of… took him under his wing.

“Come?” Servus asked, one of his eyebrows twitching up an inch. Even though he was slowly becoming more human, Tommy had a feeling he would always be able to win first place in any resting bitch face competition he ever decided to enter.

“Sure,” Tommy shrugged. “Why not.”

After waving goodbye to Aurum, the four of them made the trek out to Mathilda, still in the abandoned lot across from the elementary school. Tommy frowned as he saw that weeds had begun to grow around her wheels, and he grumbled as he pulled them out.

Muirne and Gil waited patiently for him to finish, while Servus bent down to help hm. “Thanks,” Tommy nodded, patting him on the head. Muirne looked over at the automaton, a slightly pained expression on her face.

“Alright,” Tommy straightened. “Welcome to my humble abode.” He gestured ironically, and opened the door to the inside.

He’d forgotten how musty it smelled inside. No one else had been in here in a long while… except maybe Cowell once or twice. He crawled over the pile of blankets to pull the small window on the side open, then stuffed the big comforter into the back.

Muirne and Gil stepped inside, both politely avoiding crinkling their noses. “Mind if I poke around?” Muirne asked, and Tommy waved the affirmative.

“Yes, this is definitely Atlantean,” Muirne muttered, running her hand along the carvings on a wooden beam. “Which means that somewhere along here…” she pressed the center of a decorative sun, and a small panel emerged from the wall.

Tommy’s eyes widened. “Wha—?”

“You never knew this was here?” Muirne chuckled.

“Not a clue,” Tommy shook his head. He wondered if Remus had known about this.

Muirne turned a few dials and examined the window, which snapped closed on it’s own to reveal a pale sort of overlay.

“You know you’ve had this on ‘automatic,’ right?” she asked after a minute

“Automatic?”

“Aye. You’ve just been letting the old girl go wherever she wants.”

Tommy felt a little weak in the knees. “You’re telling me… that all this time… there was a manual setting? I could’ve left at any time?”

“That is what she’s saying, yes,” Gil raised an eyebrow.

A grin began to spread over Tommy’s face. This meant… why, he could go wherever he wanted now. Any place in the whole cosmos, any adventure he wanted. He could leave Ede Valley, get out of this place that put so many bad memories on his shoulders. Free as a bird, nothing to tie him down.

“Well shit,” he said. “Maybe I’ll…”

But he broke off as he happened to glance over at Servus. It seemed to be dawning on the kid what it meant if Mathilda was fixed, if Tommy could leave. His first thought was to see if Servus wanted to go with him, incredibly fitting, after all. But he realized then that it wasn’t just Servus keeping him here.

It was Cindy, who he’d just met again after all of these years. It was Mike, who he’d never known and right now needed help from people who could understand. And besides, how the hell could he quit his job at the Smiling Goat? Literally how. Cowell would somehow twist his words around in his mouth so badly that he’d be working more hours instead.

And he realized then that the thought of flying away was a distant pipe dream. As much as he hated to admit it, he had roots here.

As he was mulling this over, Gil and Muirne had been discussing something in the corner. As Tommy stirred from his internal monologue, Muirne jumped on him. “Please,” she said, “before you go, allow me to study her. If Gil and I had a machine like this…”

Tommy smiled. He knew what Remus would want him to do. “Take her for a while,” he said.

Gil and Muirne blinked. “Truly?” Gil asked, recovering first. “You are not ‘pulling our legs’?”

“Not forever, keep in mind,” Tommy shrugged. “I expect you to take good care of her, and I expect her back in one piece. And don’t make a mess. I know exactly what’s going to go down in here.” And what had, many times over the last couple years, with many different people, he added to himself.

Blushing furiously, Gil spluttered. “I don’t know what you could possibly be referring to.”

Tommy clapped him on the back, and winked. “Yeah, you do. Anyway, give me one more night in her and I’ll clean out my junk in the morning.”

“Thank you,” Muirne blinked. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just keep her safe,” Tommy requested. “She’s got a lot of good memories in her. Come on, Servus,” he added to the automaton, who seemed to have perked up considerably over the course of the conversation. “Let’s get you back to Aurum.”

“Alright,” Servus lifted one side of his mouth an inch.

“Hey, you almost did it!” Tommy beamed. “You know what, let’s get some ice cream on the way back. Wait, can you eat ice cream?”

Servus blinked. “Don’t know.”

“Welp, I guess we’ll find out, then,” Tommy hopped down Mathilda’s creaky step after Servus and they walked down the road as the sun began its slow descent into the horizon.

~~ o ~~

May

Cindy had never expected so many people to show up to her high school graduation. Not that it was really a big deal for her, it was just a celebration of her assent from hell itself, but she was flattered nonetheless. Lucius was, of course, sitting with the teachers, but she kept noticing him glancing over in her direction with a slightly goofy grin. Tommy, Niko, Servus, and Cowell were on one side of the bleachers, and Tommy waved as she walked in. Servus held his camcorder, no doubt so Aurum could see as well. Her mother was on the other side of the bleachers, a handkerchief clutched in her hands, and Mike sat next to her, a finger hovering near his ear as if he was casually trying to block out some of the noise. He was trying for a grin, but Cindy could tell that he was very overwhelmed.

She was surprised at the sheer volume of noise that accompanied her rise to the stage. In fact, it nearly knocked her off her feet. She’d been expecting polite applause and not much more. Then again, she supposed the friends she did have were not the quietest bunch.

Though she couldn’t help noticing Mike leaving the bleachers shortly after she sat back down.

As soon as the ceremony was done, families and friends lingered in the gymnasium, but Cindy snuck out as fast as she could. She found Mike just inside the front doors of the school, his eyes closed.

“You alright?” she tapped him on the shoulder, to which he jumped slightly.

“Yeah,” he said, “Just the people and… a little overwhelming.”

Cindy frowned. “Sorry.”

“’S not your fault,” he shrugged. “It’s not anyone’s really.”

“Abigail’s,” Cindy supplied.

“I’m not ever really sure about that,” he gazed off into the distance. “She’s just a slave to human instinct, curiosity. Just like all the rest of you.”

It still felt strange whenever he didn’t include himself in ‘people’. He’d been acting more and more like Mike over the months, as he got some of his memories, some of himself back, but it was times like this when she knew that Mike would never truly return.

Their mother found them a second later. “Oh, Cindy,” she said, wrapping her arms around her enrobed daughter. “I am so proud of you.” She pulled away, and began to tear up a little.

“Moooom,” Cindy rolled her eyes, but she smiled. “Thanks.”

Tommy and the crew emerged from the gym a minute later. “Oh, there’s some friends,” Cindy said. “I’d better go say hi, I’ll be right back.”

She ducked through the crowd, and came up behind them, tapping Tommy on the shoulder. He grinned, and they hugged. “Congrats on being the only one of us to actually finish high school,” he beamed.

“Hey, I got pretty close,” Niko pouted.

“Yeah, only missed by a whole entire year,” Cowell shook his head in mock disappointment.

“It’s better than Tommy,” he insisted. “He didn’t make it past the third grade.”

Tommy frowned. “I still got a good education,” he said. “Just not a very… conventional one.”

“Oh yeah, what’s pi then?”

“Uh, something you eat? Duh?”

“I rest my case,” Niko folded his arms before looking over to Cindy. “But congratulations.”

“Thanks,” she nodded, “and the only reason I’m even here right now is because while all of you were off having adventures I was stuck back here in good old Ede Valley.”

“I don’t know,” Tommy said, glancing over to their mother and Mike. “I wouldn’t knock what you’re got.”

“Tommy,” she put a hand on his shoulder. “You know you could always go talk to her.”

“Yeah…” he paused for a moment. “You know what? Yeah, I think it’s time.”

“Good luck,” Cowell smiled pleasantly. “Try not to give her a heart attack.”

Glancing over to him, Tommy looked a little worried. “Please don’t tell me that’s one of your predictions.”

He laughed. “Not this time. Merely being facetious. Or am I?”

“Yes, you are,” Cindy said. Even though Cowell was still largely a mystery to her, she’d found that over the last few months her ability to read people had grown even stronger. “Come on, Tommy. We’ll see you guys later.”

The three of them waved as Cindy and Tommy made their way back over to Mike and their mother.

Carol Miller for a second only looked at the newcomer with mild interest. “Oh, Cindy, is this a friend of y…” but she broke off as she looked up at his face.

It felt like an eternity before Tommy could say anything, an eternity of their mother staring up at him, vague recognition and confusion dawning on her face before he was able to open his mouth. “Hi mom,” was all he could manage, in the end.

“T… To—” she sputtered, as if almost afraid to say it. “Tommy?”

He smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. I’m back.”

Tears began to well in her eyes as she tackled him in a bearhug. “You’re alive,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Tommy, I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

“It’s alright,” he said. “I forgave you a long time ago.”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

And finally, after so long apart, after runaways and psych wards and boarding schools, the Millers were at last all together again.

~~ o ~~

The four of them went out for dinner after that, Tommy filling their mother in on some of the details of where he’d been, and all of them enjoyed being together again. But once the food was cleared away and their mother had paid the bill—after refusing Tommy’s offer to do so instead—Cindy looked at her phone and saw the time.

“Oh, is it that late already?”

“Do you have plans tonight?” her mother asked.

And it was at that moment that Cindy realized something. She wasn’t a high schooler anymore. She no longer had to lie. “Yeah I uh….” She couldn’t help grinning a little. “I… have a date.”

Their mother gasped. “Really?” she asked. “Do I know him?”

“No,” Cindy said. “And I can’t introduce you quite yet,” far too soon still, there’d be a few more weeks of minor sneaking around yet. “But I hope to soon. Anyway,” she stood. “I’d better get going. I love you all, I’ll see you at home. I think I’ll be home tonight.”

Her mother looked worried, but she nodded. “Text me if you won’t be, alright?”

“Will do,” Cindy smiled.

This whole time, Mike had been glancing out of the window towards the slowly sinking sun. A small figure was standing besides a nearby chain-link fence, waiting for him.

“I… think I’m going to… go too,” he said absently.

“Mike, it’s getting late…” their mother frowned.

“I’ll only be a few minutes,” he explained. “And it’s not that far home, I’ll walk.”

“Okay…” Carol began to look a little sad as Mike got up and left too.

But Tommy was still there. “I’ll come home with you, mom,” he grinned, and stood, holding out his arm for her. She took it , and they left the restaurant together. “There’s still a lot of things we need to talk about…”

~~ o ~~

Mike waited for Tommy and their mother to leave the restaurant and be well out of sight before approaching the fence. The small girl with pigtails was there, waiting for him. They had never met, but he knew who she was.

“Alpha,” he said, to be polite, even though she no doubt already knew he was there.

“Beta,” she replied, without turning to him.

They stood there for a moment, staring off into the distance. “I’m sorry for what she did to Mike,” she said finally. “It’s been so long for me that I barely remember what it’s like to be human. But you…”

“I’ll live,” he shrugged. For the first time in the last three months, he could stop pretending to be human. It felt… good. He let his face drop into a neutral expression. Expressions were the hardest thing to fake.

“I’m going to leave now,” Buttercup finally turned to him. “I’ve atoned for what I’ve caused.”

“Of course,” Mike nodded. After all, if there was nothing holding you here, why stay? “Where will you go?�� he asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I believe that I’ll just start walking. But Beta,” she gazed up at him with her old eyes. “Don’t follow me. I have a wish for you.”

He tilted his head.

“I have a wish that someday, you can figure out who you actually are. I didn’t live long enough as a human to do such. But you… you have a chance.”

Mike… Nihil… Beta, whoever he was, he nodded. “I’ll try.”

“Thank you,” she said before she started walking. “I’m sure we’ll meet again some day.”

He blinked once. “I’m sure we will.”

~~ o ~~

Cindy sat on the balcony overlooking the back of Marcell’s house, her head on his shoulder. Her feet dangled through the posts of the railing, falling into nothing below the cliff’s edge. For the first time in a long time, it seemed at this moment that everything was alright.

Neither of them said anything, they didn’t need to. Cindy’s Mother had already been messaged and the night was young. For once, they were in no hurry to do anything.

“It’s almost over,” Cindy said.

“What is?” she felt the rumble of his voice in her bones.

“The secrecy. The sneaking around. We won’t need to hide anymore after this summer.”

“People will talk regardless of how long we wait,” he warned.

She shook her head as much as she was able. “But now there’s nothing they can do about it.”

Marcell chuckled. “Fair enough.”

As they sat there, listening to each other breathe, Cindy pondered something as she looked down at the only town she’d ever known. “I want to go somewhere this summer,” she said. “With you.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I really just want to get in a car and drive.”

She could hear the slight smile in his voice. “Why not? It could be fun.”

They watched the moon slowly rising over Ede Valley, over the crater that used to be St. Adelaide’s. Cindy was excited, and nervous, and many other bundled-up emotions besides that she didn’t have names for. But she knew that whatever happened, it would certainly be an adventure.

#ede valley #i ain't tagging this shit there are too many characters and i am tired

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awindowamirror · 7 years

Text

Trek to Hohoe, Wli Falls, and the Tafi Monkey Sanctuary

This weekend, my friends Ceci and Charlotte and I decided to take a break from Accra life and check out the Volta region more. I went a few weekends ago just for one night, but we didn’t go hiking or see a ton, so I was excited to go back and explore more.

Charlotte had a class on Friday evening, so we left campus at about 5:30 pm and took a trotro to Accra Central, which took about an hour in the traffic. All of the big metro buses going to the Volta region had left by this time, so we tracked down where the trotros leaving for the Volta were. There was one leaving in 15 minutes, but only two spots, so we were the first to buy tickets on another trotro. This was both good and bad—good because we got to claim the back seat and not sit in the wimpy little side chairs, but bad because we waited in the parking lot for another hour until our trotro had filled up. Honestly though, we were just happy there was a way to get to where we were going, and it only cost about 30 cedis each.

We left the parking lot at about 8 pm and expected to be in Hohoe, a town near our hotel, by about midnight or 1 at the latest. Google maps had told us it was about a 4-5 hour journey. What Google maps did not take into account were the traffic and road conditions. It took at least an hour to get outside of Accra, and the roads beyond the bridge over the Volta River (where I stayed on my previous trip) were in really bad shape. It ended up being about 7 hours for us to arrive. We were absolutely dead.

There were many holes I did not think we were going to come back out of. I am amazed that our trotro is still standing. Actually, at one point, in the middle of nowhere and in pitch-black darkness, our driver turned off the engine and got out and opened the hood, which would have been more than mildly concerning if we hadn’t been delirious from lack of sleep.

No worries though, about ten minutes later we were on our way again, and there was only one more episode like that. Also at one point I’m pretty sure we hit a goat—Ceci and I heard something and then looked at each other and burst out laughing because what else is there to do? 3 am on a trotro…it is a mind-altering experience.

When we got to Hohoe, we had to take about a 45 minute taxi ride to our hotel, and because it was so late/early, our taxi driver charged us 120 cedis and there was nothing we could do about it because there were literally no other transportation options. After cheating us, he thought it would be appropriate to ask for our numbers, which I find very interesting.

Anyways. We MADE it safely to our hotel and fell asleep by about 4:30 am. We slept until around 8:30 am, waking up just in time to catch the tail end of breakfast at the hotel restaurant. Charlotte was rearing to go on just 4 hours of sleep, but Ceci and I struggled a bit. But, when you’re in a beautiful and new place, it’s hard to choose sleep over exploring, so we set off to the tourism center (just a 5 minute walk from our hotel) to get a guide to take us to see Wli Falls up close and personal. Our hotel restaurant had a lovely view of the falls and the mountains as well, but we were ready to hike.

We stocked up on bananas and water and chose to do the 6 hour hiking excursion. I’m not sure what we were expecting, but I was entirely surprised by the hike. It was wild. We literally went straight up a mountain for close to 2 hours. Straight up. I mean it. At one point, Ceci asked our guide in between hyper ventilations, “Anthony, have you ever heard of switchbacks?” Alas, Anthony had not. And, upon hearing what they were and the supposed benefits, he declared, “Straight up is better.” Ok then.

Either way, straight up is what we had, and so we did it. There were many moments where it felt more like rock climbing than hiking, and we all slipped and fell at least a couple times. It was amazing though. Hiking to me is the definition of returning to my roots, to something I am so sure of. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other—you can only focus on the moment you’re in, the beauty around you and the good company. It was a really difficult hike, there’s no sugar coating it, and I am still very sore, but there is no better way to spend a day in my opinion. And we did it. How cool.

So we technically were hiking to the upper falls of Wli Falls, but on the way, we climbed a mountain even taller than the tallest mountain in Ghana. How is that possible, you may ask? Well, we slipped into Togo for a few minutes—turns out, half of the mountain is in Ghana and half is in Togo, but the tallest point is in Togo, so Ghana can’t claim its height (it’s not a very impressive height when you compare it to mountains in Colorado or other places, but it sure felt tall—I think it was a little over 1,000 m).

When we got to the upper falls, we splashed our faces and arms in an attempt to cool down, and then headed down to the lower falls. Anthony left us there, and we stayed a while, soaking our feet and watching shouts of water fall screaming with joy from the rocks. It was beautiful. There is something so magical about water, and waterfalls showcase every piece of that magic. After looking up at the falls for several minutes, we finally noticed about 200-300 bats staring at us from the cliffs. SO MANY BATS!!! It was crazy. It would have been creepy if it weren’t so cool.

The walk back to our hotel was super easy—I think it’s the trail that most people take, and it was very flat and well-travelled. Thank goodness. We were all ready to put our feet up and have a good meal, which is exactly what we did. Oh, and we showered. We were covered in a layer of dirt and multiple layers of sweat. Fun note: Ceci had the same Dr. Bronner’s lavender castile soap that I use back in the states, so it just added to how at home I felt—hiking AND castile soap? What more could I ask for?

We stayed at dinner forever, sharing three dinner dishes and a bowl of fruit and ice cream, and talking about politics, social issues, and how to make sense of people who agree with Betsy DeVos. We retired at about 9:00 pm (I really think retired is the correct word for this situation, though I know that it would sound more at home in an Edith Warton novel than a 20 year old’s blog post), and stayed up a little longer talking. It was a lovely evening, and we were happily asleep by 9:30 pm (remember we only got 4 hours of sleep the night before).

In the morning, we met a group of young people doing Projects Abroad (I think this is an organization where people volunteer abroad, but I didn’t fully understand it). One was from Chicago, and I think the rest were from the Netherlands. They were headed back to Hohoe as well, so we shared a trotro out with them—much cheaper than our 120 cedi taxi ride on Friday night!

From Hohoe, we got a taxi driver who (we thought) agreed to drive us to the monkey sanctuary about 30 minutes away, wait while we explored, and then drive us to Ho (a city further south where we could catch a bus back to Accra) for 130 cedis. Not a bad deal, and so we set off, excited to see monkeys.

Once we arrived in Tafi, where the sanctuary is, the driver said, “Ok, Ho is very far, so you’ll have to add on to the 130.” WHAT? No. You cannot drive us to the middle of nowhere and then change the price, no. I was so pissed, I got into full on Holly Battle Mode. Two of the guides at the sanctuary, guys around our age, came out to help, and they did a wonderful job of asking us what we had been told and then reasoning with the driver. Very helpful and genuine people. Eventually, we all agreed on 150 cedis total to take us to Ho, though we still have no idea what the driver was thinking. I do NOT like being taken advantage of.

But how can you stay mad when there are MONKEYS everywhere??? The guides took us to buy bananas for the monkeys, and then made kissing noises until the monkey started coming out of the depth of the woods to the road to meet us. It was SO cool watching them swing and jump around and eye our bananas. Such cool animals. The whole time, we were just thinking how much they look like little baby humans. They are so smart, too! Ugh. Amazing.

We got to feed them bananas, which you do by holding a banana firmly in your hand with your arm outstretched in front of you. Then, a monkey will approach you and jump onto your arm/back and peel the banana and eat it. How cool is that??? So I had several monkeys crawling on me, including the alpha male. What an honor.

We learned a few interesting monkey facts, but my favorite was that at least in this monkey colony, the alpha male sings everyone to sleep at 6:30 pm each night, and sings them awake at 6:30 am each morning. I don’t usually have much use for alpha male anythings, but that’s pretty darn cute.

We said goodbye to the monkeys and the sweet guides and climbed back into our hostile taxi, in which we made it safely to Ho. Our driver tried one last time when we arrived to get more money out of us, but we shoved his 150 into his hands and got the heck away. We bought some bread, avocados, and plantain chips to hold us over for a ride to Accra, and then climbed aboard our trotro.

Our trip home was much shorter than our trip there—I think we made it back to Madina junction in about 4 hours, and then we just a had one more short trotro to Okpongolo. Not bad at all.

The whole weekend was really lovely, I am so glad we went. I felt so grounded and at peace-- being outside, eating and buying everything communally, and being with people who value the same things I do. I felt very at home.

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