#genuinely one of my top streams ever is their first wine stream like they’d been talking about doing it all year and then finally met up

[cantofworms]

wine stream when I’m done work the lord loves me this day

[steppedoffaflight]

Summer’s a Knife - Chapter 16

Catch up on Chapter 15 here

“So,” Danica is the first one to speak, “When are you supposed to see him again?”

Your shoulders slump at this. “He’s in town this weekend, but I don’t think we’re gonna see each other.”

Mary snaps to attention, her eyes locking with yours. “Why not?”

Everyone seems to be on the edge of their seat, waiting for more details with bated breath.

You shrug, but Mary only narrows her eyes. “I think I’m gonna end things,” You keep your voice light, stirring the ice in your now-empty glass.

or

Summer’s coming to an end.

Word count: ~8.2k

Chapter Sixteen October 2019

Those few rushed nights with Van are all you get in September. 

The band’s schedule is less jam-packed this month, and Van promises over text that he’ll be around soon. He responds to you more often, and is able to fit in some phone calls more often when he’s on smoke breaks, even if sometimes he accidentally calls you at three A.M. and has to go to voicemail. 

You know you should be excited to see him again, but you can’t stop remembering how awful you feel each time he leaves. With September under your belt you’re more adapted to his absence, feeling a little more steady on your feet. Wouldn’t seeing him again just fuck it all up? 

Maybe you could still be friends with Van, as long as you kept a little distance between you two. Maybe if you gave yourself some space this month you could accept that Van was just a best friend with a spotty visitation schedule, and not cling to him so tightly. You make a pact with yourself to take October off of seeing Van, with the exception of phone calls and texts. That way you could keep him at arm’s length while you get your head together.

Even making that promise to yourself gives you a rush of relief. Your September funk had been much more serious than you’d realized, and now that you were starting to shake it off you knew you couldn’t jeopardize it. You’d started having regular weekend brunch with Mary at the diner again, and had gone out with the girls at work for drinks after one of them secured a huge client for the company. Everything was starting to fall back into place in your world, returning to the way it had been before your birthday weekend in San Diego had tipped everything over.

\\

On a Monday morning midway through the month, you’re dashing to your desk after running hopelessly late. You’d forgotten to plug your phone in last night, so it’d died in the middle of the night, and your body’s natural clock had woken you up on way too short notice. Thankfully nobody seems to notice as you slide into your cubicle, eagerly tapping the enter key on your keyboard to wake your computer up. 

Your phone is still dead in your bag, and you dig it out before rustling through a drawer for your work charger. As your phone starts to boot up you focus on your computer, using your credentials to log in. You take a moment to collect yourself as everything loads, smoothing your hair down and taking a sip of your coffee you’d poured into a travel mug before rushing out the door. 

You’ve caught your breath by the time you get your browser open and your email loaded. The subject line of the third email in your inbox immediately catches your eye: Y/N OPEN THIS NOW IT’S IMPORTANT

It’s from Danica, one of the girls in your coworker friend group.

The new martini bar on Melrose finally opened and we want to get drinks Friday after work!! Let me know if you’re in!

Getting drinks on Friday sounded fun, but you had no idea what she was talking about. Yeah I’m in, you send back, but what martini bar on Melrose?

You take a quick trip to the bathroom, and when you come back there’s a response at the top of your inbox. She’s linked the website for the bar, and it does look pretty cool. The decor is crisp and modern, and from their ‘about’ section it looks like they’re bordering the fine line of being a club without trying to attract the student crowd. 

Oh, cool! Do you care if I invite my friend Mary? From the photos it looks like the sort of place Mary would be right at home charming everyone at, so you can’t resist asking. 

Once Danica has given her approval to invite Mary, you finally unlock your phone, ready to send a text to her about Friday night. That’s when you see Van’s message.

Guess who’s gonna be flying in on Friday?

Your blood instantly runs cold. Oh shit.

\\

It only takes that simple text to throw you off kilter. How can some words on a screen do that? 

You swipe Van’s message away, hoping to forget about it. You couldn’t, of course, but you’d made a promise to yourself not to see him and now he was trying to mess that up! You’d have to say no. You knew you’d have to say no. Technically, you had plans. And, more importantly, you were not going to spend the weekend crying your eyes out over some stupid guy! It was a no. For sure. The only thing is that you’d have to figure out how to say it.

You proceed with texting Mary about the martini bar, and then decide to focus on work for the day. You were already behind from running late and time wasted emailing Danica, so you needed to get going. It would be good for Van not to have an immediate response. You needed some time to word things in a way that wouldn’t hurt his feelings. After all, it’s not him- it’s you. 

But after an hour of some market research you pick your phone up again. Omg I just made plans for Friday, You respond with an emoji of a facepalm. You get back to work, ridiculously proud of how you’d brushed him off. Take that, Van McCann. You would not be dropping everything to see him.

\\

Van doesn’t respond until the next afternoon. That’s alright! Saturday?

You bury your head in your hands where you’re sitting at your favorite cafe booth on your lunch. Lord, he was making this so fucking hard.

It isn’t until you’re home, fresh glass of wine in hand, that you reply. Idk. So swamped with work lately.

\\

To keep your guilt at bay, you actually do swamp yourself with work. Van has dropped the subject of meeting up for the moment being, but you know he’ll bring it back up with a vengeance. You don’t know if there’s been one time he’s been in L.A. this entire summer that you two haven’t hung out, and knowing he’s not the type to let subjects drop peacefully leaves a pit of dread in your stomach. 

You smother said dread with the market research you’re currently doing for some sort of waterless shampoo for dogs. It was a successful enough product, given that there were already a few brands on pet store shelves. The only issue is that you were at a loss when it came to what was supposed to make this particular brand special. The client couldn’t answer that question herself, either, so this was essentially a THC-water-rerun where you use up the research budget, don’t get anywhere, and the client eventually gives up. 

As you remember the THC water, your fingers reach across your desk for a pen, so you can jot down a reminder to send them a thank you note for the products they’d sent you. Van had informed you during one of your phone calls last month that he’d brought the bottles on tour, where one night the boys chugged the entire pack. According to him, they’d all actually gotten high. Plus, you’d like an update on how they were doing with their new marketing team. You’d managed to call in a favor from a different firm with more THC experience, who was genuinely interested in taking them on. Hopefully now their product was getting the attention it needed. 

\\

On Friday morning, you wake up sick to your stomach. You’d barely slept, your mind tossing Van’s impending visit back and forth the entire night. He hasn’t texted you about it since you’d brushed him off on Tuesday, and now you were filled with the sinking feeling that he was upset with you. Which, first of all, was a ridiculous thought. You hadn’t done anything wrong by not clearing your schedule for him! Certainly he understood that you had your own life and your own job, and not everything revolved around him. As much as you wanted it to.

And that was the real problem, wasn’t it? The more that Van was sweet and understanding, the harder it was to force yourself to reject him. You literally wanted nothing more than to come home from having drinks tonight and find him curled up in your bed. You were putting yourself through this torture, and it wasn’t even necessary!

But it is necessary, you remind yourself. Look at you! Losing sleep, stumbling around while your stomach does somersaults just because you were so hopelessly in love with Van your body couldn’t bear the concept of having to opt out of seeing him for one weekend. How were you ever supposed to create some distance between you two?

You’re a zombie at work, jumping at your phone each time it buzzed. It was never Van, only the group chat of everyone going out tonight. You let them discuss their outfits and designated driver situation amongst themselves, trying to force yourself to focus on the paperwork you needed to get done to help a client apply for a patent today. 

\\

You startle when your phone vibrates on the bathroom counter, almost falling into the damp sink. You lurch for it with the hand not currently running the flat iron through your hair, sighing in irritation. The group chat has continued to go off incessantly all day, keeping a steady stream of anxiety and adrenaline running through you. What could everyone possibly need to fucking talk about when you guys were about to be face-to-face in less than an hour?

It’s a text from Van. Just got in. 

Although it solidifies the nerves in your stomach, there’s some sort of relief that what you’ve been anticipating has finally happened. Easy flight? You can’t resist responding.

Eh, He says, lots of turbulence.

With no mention of meeting up, your shoulders release the tension they’ve been carrying all day. Your phone buzzes again, but it’s the girls, and you hurry to order your Uber while you finish up your hair and put the final touches on your makeup.

\\

Martinis on Melrose is hard to see from the main road, and it takes your driver a minute to find his way into the parking lot. The name is glowing in a dark blue neon script across the smooth cement of the exterior, casting a glow on all of the sleek cars crammed into the lot. You’re glad you don’t have to worry about finding a spot as you shimmy out of the backseat, hoisting your bag over your shoulder and trying to find your footing on your heels.

Two of the girls are already here and have reserved a table for tonight, but Theo is still en route dropping Mary off. You pause just outside of the front door, eager to stall, and dig around in your purse for your pack of cigarettes.

It’s the quiet before the storm, that moment before you walk into a gathering where you like to mentally brace yourself for the night to come. No offense to the girls, as you enjoy their company a ton, but you’ll always be an introvert at heart. Having a quick cigarette is the perfect way to calm yourself down, get yourself ready to be social for an extended period of time. Your first puff sends relief rushing through your brain, a craving satisfied. 

As you watch your exhaled smoke glow blue from the fluorescent lighting, you feel a pang of disappointment in yourself. You can’t believe Van’s managed to get you hooked on nicotine. Oh, Van. The disappointment in your belly blooms larger, deeper. Disappointment that you won’t be ending your day wrapped in his arms, comforted by his company, his charisma that had weaseled around your introverted tendencies until you felt right at home with him in your space. Disappointed that you don’t have him by your side tonight, your hand in his, anchoring you to the moment. Disappointed that after the fiasco over this weekend, you had the feeling that you’d never be able to remain just friends with him.

“Since when do you smoke alone?” Mary’s voice has you crawling out of your skin, dropping your cigarette from the scare.

“Shit,” You hiss, further disappointed that you have to stomp your cigarette out when it was only halfway done. The cement is so fresh and clean you decide to lean over and pick the butt up, depositing it in the trash directly to your right by the door. “Just getting my head in the game,” You respond to Mary.

Ever the extrovert, she clearly doesn’t understand, blinking at you as she tosses her hair over her shoulder. “I fucking love that outfit,” She changes the topic.

You glance down at yourself. It’s actually the same one you’d worn to Lou’s birthday party, complete with the uncomfortable heels and the denim jacket to help dress it down. Looking down at your toes you remember trading shoes with Sam, arguing with Van in hushed tones on the deck stairs. You hadn’t known how deep your feelings were for him then, but you remember how his jealousy both pissed you off and pleased you at the same time, an indication that he might want your arrangement to go deeper than friends. That memory falls into the disappointment abyss when you realize in hindsight how that never happened. 

“Thanks, but look at you!” You beam at her, gesturing to her own dress. It’s a silk slip that looks like you might see a Kardashian posing in it on instagram. It makes her legs look a mile long, and she’s gone braless, always on trend. She’s got her right hand wrapped around a sleek clutch bag, and as you two head into the bar she holds it up.

“Don’t let me get drunk and forget this in the bathroom or at the table,” She warns in a low tone.

“I’ll try,” You mutter, as the hustle and bustle of the club surrounds you two. “But I’m in need of a few martinis myself.”

“Long week?” Mary eyes you after she scans the room. You’re doing the same, looking for the table Danica had texted you they were at. 

You spot the table, starting to head to it, Mary following along. “Oh yeah,” You nod enthusiastically, realizing how emotionally drained you’ve been since Van’s text on Monday.

You introduce everyone to Mary before sliding into the curved booth, exchanging greetings. One of the girls pass you a menu that you look over with curiosity. You need something strong enough to forget these last two months.

Your focus on the menu fades when your phone buzzes against the glossy tabletop. Just as you reach to check what notification has appeared the server comes around to get you and Mary’s drink order. While she opts for a cosmopolitan your eyes quickly flit over the page, your brain scrambling to read the different ingredients in your hurry.

“I’ll have an endless summer,” You recite to the waitress, smiling at her as she hurries away to relay the order. She leaves the menu so that the girls that haven’t arrived yet can look over it. 

As soon as she’s gone you grab for your phone again, unlocking it to see a text from Van: Wanna do lunch at that diner tomorrow? It’ll help with that hangover

You’d told him about your plans to go out for drinks, and his thoughtfulness makes your heart ache. Why does he have to be so fucking nice all of the time?

“Is that Van?” Mary interrupts the wave of sadness welling up in your chest. Everyone has stopped talking, Mary commanding the attention of everyone per usual. 

“Um, yeah,” You respond politely, despite the urge to reach over and strangle her. Everyone’s eyes are on you, and your cheeks burn at the way Mary’s just exposed your Van situation to everyone. 

“Who?” Danica asks, tilting her head as she takes a sip of her drink. “I thought you were single!”

Realizing your coworkers had no idea about him, Mary’s face lights up in joy. You hate her for it, internally groaning. There’s no way she’s going to let you get away without telling everyone what was going on. 

“Y/N hasn’t told you about Van?” Mary asks, leaning in excitedly. Danica and your other coworker that had arrived early, Nicole, are suddenly at attention, waiting for you to explain.

“Hey, hey!” Olivia- forever the loudest coworker in the office- calls from behind your shoulder. She’s sauntering effortlessly on stilettos, Mia trailing behind.

Olivia makes a big scene of plopping down in the booth, Mia shuffling in next to you. Whereas you’re the quiet counterpart to Mary, Mia’s the same to Olivia. You’d always liked Mia, the way she never seemed stressed or worked up over office demands or drama; she tended to let them roll off of her with a quiet shrug. You tended to stay away from Olivia, however. While Mary radiated an outgoing, enjoyable charisma, Olivia radiated an air of lead-cheerleader bitchiness.

The commotion of Olivia and Mia’s arrival has successfully diverted the conversation to how hard the restaurant had been for Olivia to find, and everyone forgets about the Van topic. You sigh in relief when the waitress comes back around to collect the new drink orders, gingerly setting a glass full of sunset-colored alcohol in front of you. It starts deep red at the bottom with the cranberry juice, and somehow fades to a soft orange by the middle of the glass, a pale pink at the top. You suck at your straw eagerly, ready to have some alcohol in your system. It’s overly sweet and burns as it goes down, but Danica and Nicole are already one drink ahead of you, so you’re trying to catch up.

“He’s an annoying motherfucker,” Olivia is complaining about her husband, tossing her phone back into her bag with a scoff. Mia murmurs agreement next to you, and Danica is asking her some question about wedding venues. Danica’s not engaged just yet, but it’s clear she’s desperate for a proposal from her boyfriend. 

Oh, to be surrounded by friends in couples. Mary has chimed in about some pet peeve she has about Theo, and you let their conversation fade to the background of your mind as you pick your phone up again.

This weekend doesn’t really work for me at all, you text Van. It physically pains you to press send, but you know it’s what you’ve got to do. He’s not getting the hint!

“Oh! Y/N!” Danica suddenly exclaims, and when you look up from your screen she is gesturing excitedly, like the words are on the tip of her tongue.

“You were gonna tell us about that Victor guy!” She finally spits it out, and the spotlight is on you again. 

“Van,” You correct absentmindedly, before realizing you’d missed the point. You clear your throat, tucking your phone in the pocket of your jacket, deciding not to check it again. You couldn’t handle Van possibly becoming angry or hurt. “Um, there’s not much to say!” You laugh nervously, glancing at Mary as a call for help. “He’s my best friend.”

“Besides, you, of course,” You hurry to assure Mary. She rolls her eyes in amusement, unbothered.

“He’s her best friend with benefits,” Mary stirs the pot. Everyone’s interest in you had started to fade with your lackluster explanation, but at the mention of the benefits they all perk up again. 

“And get this,” Mary gestures excitedly, and you’re relieved she’s taking over the storytelling. “He’s the lead singer of this band that’s fucking huge in the U.K.”

“No way,” Danica’s eyes widen.

“Yeah,” Mary nods. “We met him after they played a show at the House of Blues in San Diego.” 

“When?” Nicole pipes up, scooting in closer. 

“In January, when I was there for my birthday,” You tell her. 

“You’ve been with him since January?” Danica asks, clearly shocked. “You haven’t said a word!”

You open your mouth to respond, but are interrupted by the waitress passing out another round of drinks. You take the last few sips of your first martini, then stick your straws into the next glass. 

“Girl, explain,” Nicole demands, earning a laugh from everyone at the table. 

“Hold on,” You laugh, feeling a bit more comfortable with their interest. This whole thing has been weighing on you, after all, and now you’ve got the chance to get some fresh opinions on what you should do. Without further ado you hold the straw of your drink between your thumb and forefinger, swallowing it down in a matter of a minute.

“I need to catch up!” Olivia shouts as you pull away, and starts to gulp down her own drink. She’s finished quicker than you, ever the show-off, and waves the waitress over again to request another round for you and her. 

The waitress is back pronto, another endless summer dripping condensation on the table in front of you, a bloody mary perched in front of Olivia. 

You take a sip to wet your throat before you sit back.

You’ve never told the story of you two out loud like this before. Mary’s been present every step of the way, and you’d managed to stay away from your family’s prying by telling them only the basics of your friendship. This is the first time you have to listen to yourself explain all of the time you’ve spent together, and it shocks you as you hear yourself. Like when you explain the story of Van catching strep throat, and Mia is confused as to why he decided to spend over a week crashing at your place. You recite Van’s excuse at the time about the lack of food at his house, but nobody at the booth seems convinced. 

You trail off when you’re finished, deciding not to share anymore details with anyone. Mary had snorted more than once during your chronicles due to your decision to keep everything very surface and PG- although you’re sure none of these girls cared about Catfish, Van’s trust is sacred to you. You’re fiercely protective over the private moments you two have had together; even Mary doesn’t know about the way you’d tied him up during his birthday sex. 

There’s a silence that falls over everyone when you’re finished, punctuating the story of your summer with a long, burning sip of your drink. You’re expecting Olivia to launch into her own story- no doubt somehow more interesting than yours- but you’re surprised to see her stirring her bloody mary, looking lost in thought. Was this Van thing really that crazy?

“So,” Danica is the first one to speak, “When are you supposed to see him again?”

Your shoulders slump at this. “He’s in town this weekend, but I don’t think we’re gonna see each other.”

Mary snaps to attention, her eyes locking with yours. “Why not?”

Everyone seems to be on the edge of their seat, waiting for more details with bated breath. 

You shrug, but Mary only narrows her eyes. “I think I’m gonna end things,” You keep your voice light, stirring the ice in your now-empty glass. 

“What? Why?” Nicole shrieks. “He sounds great!”

“He is great,” You affirm. You’d sworn to yourself a long time ago that no matter how this thing plays out, you’d always maintain that Van had been the best man you’d ever been with. “But he’s just really busy now. He was gone for almost all of September.”

“So you’re gonna give him up?” Nicole scoffs in disbelief. “You’re insane, Y/N.”

“I mean, there’s nothing to give up!” You defend yourself weakly, your voice going higher in pitch. “We’re not together!”

Mary opens her mouth to speak, no doubt to derail you from your plan. You understand why she’s eager to dissuade you from something so drastic, but she also had no idea about the agony you’ve been in, how cutting ties with Van is the only way you know how to save your sanity. 

“Do you have a picture?” Olivia asks, successfully interrupting Mary. Despite your dislike for Olivia, you’re glad for her intervention.

“Um, lemme see,” You murmur, grabbing your phone back out of your pocket. But you forgot you’d been keeping your phone in there on purpose, and as you go to scroll through your photo gallery you’re accosted with Van’s reply to your previous message:

Everything alright?

You swipe it away, reaching your drink before realizing it’s empty. “Ugh, I need another one of these.” How many drinks have you had now? Three? You wish you remembered.

You deliberate over what photo to show them; you hardly take any when you two are together, and most of the ones you’ve taken seem too intimate to share with others. You laugh when you scroll past a photo of Van you’d taken in August, standing by the front door with his ribboned ficus in his arms. He’s got an exaggerated grin, no attempt to look poised for the camera. There’s tons of photos with his blurry hands or feet in them, attempts to obscure snapchats you were trying to take for Mary, and you hurry past the few nudes he’d sent you when you two had decided to exchange a few over text. You settle on one you feel comfortable sharing; it’s a photo of him at some bar, his eyes bloodshot from the alcohol. He’s flushed and beaming, leaning against Bob, who was the one taking the picture of the two of them. He’d forwarded it to you the next morning, complaining about his hangover. You present this photo to the others.

Immediately Olivia takes your phone from your hands, sending a shot of anxiety through you. You’ll never understand why some people insist on taking the phone out of your hands rather than just looking at the image on the screen. 

“He’s good looking!” She exclaims, almost like she didn’t expect it. Danica and Nicole nod their agreement. When Olivia hands the phone back you flash the photo at Mia, who seems more interested in Bob’s half of the picture.

“Isn’t he?” Mary agrees, playfully elbowing you. “If you’re finished with him then send him my way,” She jokes, but you can hear her ill-concealed frustration with you underneath. You know she’s dying to know what the fuck you’re doing, messing up the best not-relationship you’ve ever had. Maybe she’ll get lunch with you tomorrow, so you can properly explain. Of course you hadn’t shared your true feelings for Van with everyone, but it was probably time for Mary to know. 

“He sounds like a keeper,” Olivia agrees, and you’re surprised to hear she thinks so. You’re even more surprised at everyone’s enthusiastic nods.

“You’d be an idiot to let him go,” Danica tells you seriously, and Nicole murmurs her assent. “Like, seriously. Have you lost interest in him?”

Lost interest in him? You wish it could be true, but that wasn’t even a possibility you could fathom at the moment.

“Uh, no,” You answer her, trying to seem nonchalant. “It’s just the logistics.”

“Well, make it work,” Nicole urges you. 

There’s some murmurs about ‘the one that got away’ from the other girls, and the conversation about Van finally dies out. You’re relieved when Mia brings up a project she’s working on in the office, looking for some advice from everyone about how to respond to a client who tends to have an aggressive tone in his emails. From there things fade into hilarious client stories and email blunders, and you try to seem as engaged as possible, relieved to have the focus off of you.

You lose track of your drinks, absentmindedly sipping them while everyone’s voices flow and mingle around you. You’ve definitely hit your introvert limit, ready to head home and curl up in bed. Nobody seems to notice how quiet you’ve grown, or how you perk up in relief when Mia finally suggests you guys call it a night. Everyone takes her cue, the table lighting up with phone screens as everyone reaches out to their ride. 

“Theo can take you home,” Mary offers when you pull up the Uber app.

“Oh, it’s fine,” You politely decline. There’s a lot of Ubers doing rounds on a busy street like Melrose during this time, and you know a car will be here soon. More than anything you were craving the quiet, some time away from this loud club music and conversation.

“If you’re sure…” Mary trails off. You remember your idea about lunch suddenly, ready to blurt it out to her, but the sober fraction of your brain shushes you. It would be incredibly rude to make lunch plans with someone right in front of everyone else.

Lunch tomorrow? You text her instead, and watch the notification ping on her phone screen.

YES. she sends back. YOU HAVE EXPLAINING TO DO. 

That would cause sober-you to dread these plans, but thankfully drunk-you is only preoccupied with going home. 

\\

You’re drunker than you’d thought by the end of the night. You’d managed to down all of your drinks without the need to use the restroom (miraculously), but when you had stood up to let Mary shuffle out of the booth it suddenly felt like your bladder was nothing but a bouncing water balloon, and all of the alcohol had rushed to your head. You had struggled to keep yourself walking in a straight line to the bathroom, not to mention staying balanced on your heels while you washed your hands. You get the notification your ride is here as soon as you’re pushing through the heavy swinging door, so you grab your bag back at the booth and exchange goodbyes and promises to do this again with Nicole, who is the last one waiting for a ride, and head out front.

There’s no silence quite as satisfying as the one that follows a night out after you’ve hopped into the car and closed the door. Besides the polite hello the driver offers he doesn’t seem interested in conversation, so you stare out the window at the night sky and try to make sense of the mess in your head.

Only as the car is pulling out onto Melrose do you remember you’d left a text from Van on read. You grab your phone off of the seat next to you, clicking your texts with Van open.

Everything alright? You read to yourself over and over. How the fuck were you supposed to answer that? Was he really that clueless? Were you that amazing at hiding how much this had been hurting you, or had he just not bothered to pay attention?

I’m fine, you decide to reply. Was it the truth? Not exactly. But you knew you would be, eventually. Ending things would hurt like hell at first, but you’d recover. You had from every other heartbreak you’ve experienced in your life, after all. 

You’re surprised when your phone vibrates in your palm, an instant reply from Van: Don’t seem fine. 

Shit. Maybe he’s been paying a bit more attention than you thought. You double down on your lie: It’s fine Van. 

The three dots pop up before you can even lock your phone: ??

You click your screen off, tossing your phone beside you on the bench. It bounces with a soft thud, and you rest your head in your hands, trying to take a deep breath.

Everyone’s advice starts to echo in your mind: He sounds like a keeper! You’d be an idiot to let him go! Make it work! Offered up so happily as if those were actually options, as if there was any fucking possibility Van felt the same way about you. 

It completely overwhelms you then, how in over your head you are. There had been moments where you’d felt a speck of hope, signs that maybe he wanted more than this casual thing, but now it’s been six months of spending time together, and exactly zero attempts by him to broach the subject. It all hits you then, all the emotions you’ve been keeping controlled while you tried to enjoy your night out, and before you know it you’re in tears.

It’s only a few tears at first, but letting go feels so good you give in to it, the car silent except for your loud sniffles and the occasional shaky breath. The Uber driver, to his credit, doesn’t react as you silently bawl your eyes out in the backseat.

Your phone goes off again from where it’s facedown, light seeping out of the sides. You leave it there, for once not pathetically controlled by Van’s moment-to-moment whim. A little laugh bubbles out of you at that thought, and you think absentmindedly that you must sound absolutely crazy, but you’re too drunk to care, the alcohol carrying that thought away as you continue your catharsis.

Time slips by in jumps and starts, your tears slowing eventually, and by the time the car turns onto your block you’re excited to get inside, make yourself a hot mug of tea, and continue your cry in private. Your house is the only one on your side of the street with the light on, and so you watch it slide into view as the car makes its way down the road.

“It’s that one,” You snuffle, “With the light on.”

As the car approaches, your blood goes cold.

Your first instinct is to assume it’s some sort of alcohol-induced hallucination. You wipe the tears from your eyes furiously, but when you look again there’s no mistaking it. The porch light is cascading down your front lawn, and Van’s silhouette is perched on your front steps, smoking a cigarette.

“Here you go, ma’am,” The driver stops the car and unlocks the door for you. As soon as the car pulls up Van tosses his cigarette onto the front path and stomps it out, standing up. You watch him through the car window in disbelief before you grab your things, give a numb thank you, and get out of the car.

There’s a stretch of silence as the Uber pulls away where you stand right outside of the front gate, unable to do anything except gape at Van. 

A car suddenly whizzes down your road, and you realize how close you are to being in the street. “What the fuck are you doing here?” You exclaim, the clatter of the gate clicking closed behind you echoing with your voice off of the silent houses around you.

“I came here to get some answers!” Van says, exasperated. “You won’t tell me nothin’!”

“There’s nothing to say!” You gesture with your arms as you reach the steps, face to face with him. “There’s no answers to get!”

“You’ve been cryin’!” Van gestures towards you, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” You wipe at your undereye self consciously and look down at your finger. There’s a smear of mascara. You sigh before moving past Van up the stairs, headed for the front door. He follows.

“Did I do something?” He asks, coming into your peripheral vision. “If I did, just tell me! Let me make this right.”

You look through your purse for your keys, ignoring him.

“Christ, I’m sorry. I didn’t do anything on purpose!”

You continue your search for your keys, keeping your head down.

“Fuck,” You say quietly to yourself as you sweep your bag for the third time and fail. You click your phone on, switching on the flashlight and lighting up your bag.

Van groans in frustration, wiping a hand through his hair. “Y/N!”

“What?” You snap at him, looking up. You’ve finally found your key and you jam it into the door, clicking it unlocked.

“Why are you ignorin’ me?” He pleads.

“Van,” You start, trying to keep your voice steady. You look up at him then, and you feel like your breath’s been punched out of you. The light is illuminating him from behind, a halo of golden light that catches each strand of frizz and accentuates the sharp line of his chin. His hair’s grown out since the spring, the light snagging the curls that are upturned at the nape of his neck. You swallow thickly. His eyes are wide in confusion.

“I think we need to end things,” You say quietly, struggling to see through a fresh batch of tears.

His jaw hangs slightly ajar. “What?” He asks in disbelief.

Your eyes are welling up again, and you wipe at them, a mess of mascara on your hands. “We’re done,” You tell him, voice wobbling, as you swing the door open and head inside.

He doesn’t give you a chance to shut the door in his face, heading in right behind you. “You’re fucking joking! What have I done?”

You head straight for the bathroom, examining yourself in the mirror. You cringe inwardly at yourself and grab for your makeup wipes, trying to make yourself look a little less pathetic.

Van is standing in the front room. “I’m not leaving until we talk about this,” He says loudly so you can hear him from behind the bathroom door.

You don’t respond, wiping away your eyeliner vigorously.

“I said I’m sorry!”

You sigh to yourself.

“Look, I-”

“Listen, Van!” You cut him off from the other room. You swing the door open, marching out. “It’s like you said in the hotel that one time, remember? We’re supposed to be simple, easy. And that was working great. You stop by at your convenience, and I throw everything else out of the fucking window to spend time with you. And then you just fucking… disappear! For two months! And it- I-” You struggle to find any words, your voice fading out as you feel yourself start to cry again. And I love you. I miss you. 

Van throws his arms up. “I didn’t mean it like that at all, c’mon! It’s not at my convenience! I was working! I wasn’t trying to ignore ya! I try my hardest to come around!” 

He sighs, running a hand through his hair again. When he speaks again, he’s quieter. “It wasn’t like that, honest.”

“I just can’t do this anymore,” You try desperately to explain. “This whole ‘simple’ thing is killing me. The long trips out to see you, and I’m lucky if I get to see you for two whole days…” Your words are interrupted by an embarrassingly pathetic sob, Van’s eyes widening at your outpouring of emotion.

“Please don’t tell me you think this whole thing was about having you around just for a fuck,” Van pleads. “You’re my best mate! I can’t help that I travel a lot!”

You bury your face in your hands.

Van sighs, moving towards you. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” He says earnestly. “C’mon. I’m sorry. Get out of that dress and we can turn a film on, yeah? Or we can go grab some food. Whatever you wanna do.” 

You groan into your palms, the sound echoing in your ears. He just wasn’t getting it.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Van offers, his voice soft. “I didn’t… I’m sorry if it seemed like I was using you, or something.”

“But then we’ll go out to eat, and everything’ll be fine tonight, but it’s still gonna be the same! And you’re gonna be so busy with tour, and it’s not fair to me when you’re not around, and I can’t spend my whole life roadtripping with you!”

“The bulk of this leg is over!” Van argues, “And I don’t mind if you’re busy. It’ll be your turn to text me like I’ve been texting you, yeah?” The corner of his lips quirk up in a tired smile.

“Oh my God, Van,” You groan again. You take a long, frustrated inhale. It was now or never, you realize, because he might be the best man you’ve ever been with, but he’s still completely clueless. 

“I’m trying to tell you I fucking love you!” You yell, throwing your arms up. “I fucking love you! I don’t want simple and easy! I want you!”

You feel like you’re about to faint from the admission. For a terrifying moment all of the blood rushes to your head, and the only sound you can hear is your own heartbeat in your ears. You’ve put all your cards on the table, and there was no going back. Van might’ve been eager to fix things moments ago, but he could very well change his entire attitude now that the truth is out.

While you stand there, terrified, you notice his tired smile start to stretch into a grin.

“What?” He asks, grinning ear to ear.

“I love you,” You repeat, no longer yelling. Your throat hurts. It feels like the dust settling after an explosion, but your heart is skipping because Van isn’t running, not yet.

“Are you saying that I’m not simple? Or easy?” Van jokes, still beaming.

“No.” You feel a small laugh of relief bubble up. “I know it’s hard. With the traveling, and the label deadlines and stuff. But I’ve had the trial period. I wanna be able to text you and ask what you’re doing without seeming all clingy. And I don’t wanna go days without hearing from you!” Van groans at that. “And I want you to be able to tell everyone that I’m your girlfriend. Not your mate!” You say that part with a glare, remembering the conversation between him and Bondy you’d overhead by the ice machine in Detroit. 

“You heard that?” Van groans again, laughing. “I didn’t know what to say! He caught me by surprise!”

“And I want my family to be able to meet you!” You add on, “Not have to lie and pretend you’re busy with band stuff because you wouldn’t come in!”

Van’s jaw drops slightly at that. “I wanted to come in!” He confesses, “I thought you were asking as an afterthought! To be polite!” He runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. “You don’t know how bad I wanted to say yes.”

He wraps his arms around you now, pulling you in close.

“I love you, too,” He admits. “And I have for a long fucking time! I’m sorry it didn’t seem like it. I thought you liked this whole ‘simple’ thing. I was playing it up for your sake!” He sways you back and forth while you bury your head in his chest, wrapping your arms around him. 

“I can’t believe you,” You shake your head against him in exasperation. You lift your head suddenly, your face inches from his. “When did you know?”

Van puffs his cheeks up with air, releasing it with a whoosh as you watch his eyes flit through the air while he considers. “On the couch on the tour bus,” He tells you. “I mean, I already did, but that was my moment of… yeah.” One side of his lips quirk up in a lopsided smile.

“Well, I win,” You tease. “Because I realized it backstage in Phoenix.”

Van’s eyes widen in shock. “You’re fucking joking!” He laughs, “And you’ve been keeping it a secret since?” 

“Yeah!” You exclaim, lifting your hands from where they’re resting on his sides to gesture at him. “You were making it pretty fucking clear you weren’t interested in dating!”

“Oh, yeah?” Van challenges, his playful grin reappearing. “More clear than you attempting to break things off with me?”

“Oh, stop,” You huff, pointing to your puffy eyes and splotchy face. “Clearly you can see it wasn’t an easy decision!”

“Fuck, I thought you had it out for me,” Van laughs, letting one of his hands fall from your back so that he can run it through his hair. “Whatever I did, I was ready to accept your wrath.”

“You don’t even know,” You start, burying your face in his shirt again. Your tears are back, overwhelmed with relief that the truth was finally out, that Van loved you the same way you loved him. “This has been tearing me apart for months now.”

“Me too,” Van sighs, his palm rubbing up and down your spine. “I even told you on accident that one time.”

You freeze, trying to understand what he meant. 

“Wait,” You lift your head, stepping back from him. “Are you talking about that phone call?”

“Yeah.”

At this your jaw drops. You’ve stepped out of Van’s arms, and he’s keeping his hands busy by rolling the sleeves of his button-up over his forearms. “You said you didn’t remember it!”

“I told you I loved you!” Van’s clearly embarrassed, his cheeks burning pink. “And I got all soppy about being apart on my birthday!”

“I said I loved you back!” You shout in complete disbelief. “We both admitted we loved each other and you didn’t think anything of it?”

“I was drunk! I thought you were taking pity on me! Give me a break!”

Oh God, he was impossible. You open your mouth to ridicule him further, but instead you step toward him again, cupping his jaw and bringing your lips together. There’s no sense in arguing about it anymore. Clearly you’d both been oblivious, but what did it matter now that everything had worked out?

Well, technically, you had no idea what the road ahead would bring for you two. But you’ve made it this far, right? Seven months of navigating these unspoken rules between you two, it feels like things can only get easier now that they’re dissolving right before your eyes. You kiss Van harder, and when your lips open for him it feels like all of the possibilities opening up before you: Van was your fucking boyfriend now.

In the thrill of your realization you reach for his belt buckle, struggling to undo it while you’re distracted by the kiss. 

After fussing with it for longer than normal you feel the warm press of Van’s lips being pulled away, his hands coming to wrap around yours.

“You’re shaking like a leaf,” He remarks in amusement, brushing your hands aside and undoing his own belt. 

“Because I love you,” You confess, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you too,” Van chuckles, giving you another quick kiss. “Whew, how much did you have? I feel like I took a shot just fucking kissing ya.”

“It doesn’t matter,” You tell him bluntly. “Help me out of this dress.”

Van knows you’re right because he obliges, tossing your jean jacket in the vicinity of the couch before helping you undo the zipper that runs down your back. Soon your dress has fallen around your ankles, tripping you up as you step out of the puddle of fabric on your heels.

Van’s hands reach out, steadying you. “Christ,” He laughs, guiding you to the couch. “Need help getting those heels off?”

“Please,” You sigh, flopping down on the couch in your bra and underwear, extending your legs out towards Van, who gets down on his knees to be of assistance. His fingers easily undo the straps around your ankles, releasing your feet from the hazard of your heels in no time. 

His fingers tuck into the waistband of your underwear next, tugging them down your thighs and depositing them on the ground before his head’s between your legs.

You sigh happily, slumping against the cushions as you pet his hair. You can’t remember the last time you were as content as you were right now; having drunk sex with your boyfriend, the person you loved and trusted most in the world. 

Your entire body feels like a warm puddle of endless summers and pleasure, but suddenly a thought pierces through the fog in your brain, and you shoot upright in your seat so fast that Van pulls away in concern.

“I have to text Mary!” You remember. Your eyes search around wildly for your bag, and you can feel the air passing between your legs without Van’s mouth keeping you warm.

Van wipes his chin, making to stand up. “Well, text her,” He says, gesturing towards the bedroom door. “Then come meet me in bed.”

You stumble up from the couch, crossing the living room naked and heading into the bathroom, where you’d left your purse.

Hello???? Mary’s sent. Did you get home safe????? Are you okay?!?

Home safe, You send back. Sorry, Van showed up unexpectedly and we talked. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow!

As soon as you’ve sent it you see the typing indicator pop up. You decide to respond to one last message before catching up to Van so you two can resume your first official romp as a couple.

If you tell me you two are done I’m gonna kill you.

At her words, you grin. 

Haha nope. We both realized we’re in love with each other and we’re official now. It’s a long story. 

\\

[brighternite-a]

mamma   mia,   here   i   go   again   !   admin   c   here,   with   my   second   character,   miss   lal   who   looks   like   a   burning   flame   but   feels   ice   cold.   lal   is   a   new   one   and   she   is   already   growing   on   me,   i'm   just   ??   excited   ??   let   me   turn   up   my   narrator   vc,   once   upon   a   time    ...  

★ APP   !

✨ elçin sangu, cis woman, she/her    —    agnes street wouldn’t be the same today if it wasn’t the curtain call. do you know that lal ışık works there as the owner ? they are thirty-eight and they look like the kind of person who has stories to tell ; the kind of stories you have never heard of, whenever i see them, greek tragedy by the wombats starts to play inside my head.  maybe it is the vibe they give off, an invisible wall built around you that keeps you in your own world no matter how hard the outsiders try to collapse it down, pointy toe pumps with stiletto heels worn in an elegant fashion that somehow makes them look easy to wear, an accent that melts within words through an unfamiliar warmth when caught in feelings only explainable in your native tongue  ; you know ?  ( c, 23, gmt + 3, they / them )

★ STORY   !

TRIGGERS AHEAD  : identity crisis.

it begins serenely. you are one of those kids, born with luck. luck though, it is not everlasting. it sometimes is even deceptive. a truth lal had to face. lal means garnet in turkish, but in ottoman poetry it has been used to carry the meaning of lips of a lover or red wine. surely lal is a love child. ' we want the best for you, my child. ' wonder how many times lal had heard these words falling from the lips of her beloved parents as they smiled at her with warmth and compassion. that must be the truest form of love, she would think to herself.

an eccentric kid. one who asks too many questions. one who dares to be different. the striking flame red of strands don’t make it any easier for her to go unnoticed. confidence is built within her, strong at the core of her heart. no, that has nothing to do with the wealth her parents have, it is all about the love they’ve given. lal always knew they’d be by her side even if the world was ending.

but who would’ve thought ? it’s been a delusion, all along. the love she had belief in. -- they reveal the truth when lal comes of age as now they are obligated to give lal her share. the people she knew as her parents all along are not her biological parents. who are these people ? her real parents, are they even alive ? all the questions of sorts, asked while tears stream down her face. it’s part of the deal, they vowed to her parents before taking lal that they were never ever going to let her know about who her real parents are. her parents left her. left her to strangers. and what her real parents left for her ? money, lots of money. no answers, no photographs. no anything. suddenly, she has no roots. how could they accept to be the ones they were not meant to be ? but those people did and took lal as their child. perhaps humans were capable of everything when it was for the money. did they reall love her ? did they ? not like any answer could satisfy lal now. in lal’s eyes, they had been just playing the roles her real parents written for them. a written script, artificial feelings. 

what is my name ? who i am ? is this who i was supposed to be ? questions surface, questions suffocate you. you disintegrate. the person you see when you look in the mirror, it makes you only wonder. do i have my mother’s eyes or is it the flame red of hair what i inherited from her ? what would my name be if they could’ve chosen it ? ---- lal feels the need to rebuild herself as everything that made her who she is turns out to be foul. it almost drives her mad. identity crisis comes to her in its rawest and garbed form. 

she feels foreign to herself. she becomes a foreigner to everything surrounding her. her decision to leave the country comes to her at a night. she is only nineteen when she leaves istanbul. maybe far from her so-called home, it would make sense to feel this alone. she needed to get to know herself, she needed to rewrite her story and make it a real one. her devotion to telling stories of life begins this way, with her devotion to try and tell her own as she realizes she is devoid of a true one. 

education in the top-ranked schools of the united states is nothing her mysterious parents’ inherited money couldn’t buy. so she fills herself in with everything she could about the movie industry. her dream is to tell every story that yearns to be told like hers. and what can be a better tool than the art of cinema ? her career as a director begins, her career that guarantees her a permanent stay in the country. symbolism runs deep in every movie directed by her. she gets compared to david lynch a lot with her work. movies after movies, she has her very own audience. today she is the owner of her own theatre, the curtain call. it is a dream project of hers that came true. there is something she can’t quite pinpoint but love about agnes street, that’s why of all places she chose agnes for her cinema project.  she is still actively working as a director and also as the owner of the curtain call. if you are into movies one way or another, there is a chance you’ve heard her name during one of those award seasons. -- her genuine psyche doesn’t get to shine through the self-built walls around her. you may think she is peculiar and cold and perhaps to a certain extent she might be, but if you treat her patiently, what lies beneath is a gem that waits to be discovered. 

★ CONNECTION   IDEAS   !

her FIRST FRIEND after moving to us. PLEASE I BEG OF YOU. someone who guided her. someone who was probably very friendly that voluntarily helped her. someone that makes her laugh the most, someone that knows the way her laugh sounds. someone who knows she is actually capable of laughing. PLS. 

someone who is a critic of her work. someone who adores her work. someone who thinks her movies are bullshit. just all types of criticism. 

i’m dying to have an opposites attract thing going on for lal maybe, someone whose disposition radiates quite different vibes from her as a lover would be such an interesting for her to handle. i’d love to see it tbqh.

[auggie-hunter]

the questionnaire~

who rocks the ferris wheel seat, and who flips out and begs them to stop?

neither. too busy making out.

who is always horny and will have any place, any time?

auggie. he’s always game for a quickie at any given moment. any. given. moment.

“wait, here?” teddy gasps and giggles against his lips as he kisses her.

“mhm,” he nods.

and so what if they’re the ones having slutty coat room sex at someone else’s wedding. so what.

who is more into taking showers/baths together? who tries to make it relaxing and who gets handsy?

they both are. something about showers and baths together really ticks the intimacy box for them. but believe it or not, teddy is the one to get handsy in the shower/bath.

“so i was thinking,” she starts, shifting her weight in the tub. she swivels around, careful not to slosh too much water around as she straddles his lap

his hands easily find her hips as she eases closer. “so you were thinking...” he echos with a nod.

her left hand rests at the base of his neck, while her right glides down and into the water between them. “i have nowhere to be for the next hour, so maybe,” she takes him in her hand. “we could make it worth our while.”

who likes to walk around the house naked, and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

neither, really. they usually keep whatever space they’re in comfortably chilly so as to be wrapped up in sweatshirts and cardigans. sweatpants and socks and heavy blankets. cozy.

however, they are huge fans of being naked together. huge. top two on the list, probably.

who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

auggie. 

(but teddy will be nudging him to scoot over not 30 minutes later and crawling onto the couch and under the throw blanket beside him. “what you said really hurt.”

and auggie will just wrap her up in his arms and kiss her head. “i’m sorry. it was uncalled for. i didn’t mean it.” and he’ll kiss her head three more times and tell her how much he adores her and they both sleep on the couch because the idea of sleeping apart sucks to even think about. call them codependent)

who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

teddy tends to take photos of auggie because auggie rarely sleeps. let me clarify. auggie’s a very excitable human, and will stay up and about for most things. because of this, he is always tired and falling asleep at inopportune times, and (teddy’s favorite) adorable ones.

(like the time he fell asleep while trying to stay up for a 24-hour stream and she had to inconspicuously wake him without getting caught on camera.

she did take proper photo evidence and post it on his instagram before he woke up. puppy filter and all)

who said “i love you” first?

teddy. it outright took his breath away. 

who ends their arguments in a fight with “because i love you”?

teddy.

auggie has a lot of anxiety. he’s been working on it, but he’s also made his peace with the fact that a portion of it will remain unresolved, and will be something he just feels and deals with. kinda like white noise. it’s a dead parents thing. whatever.

the point is, it happens less and less when it comes to teddy the longer they’re together, but he goes through deep pockets where he needs reassurance.

because he thinks, no knows teddy graham is the very sun in the sky that the planets revolve around, that she hung the moon and all the stars, and there’s absolutely no possible way on this earth he could ever be good enough for her. that he or something would inevitably fuck this up.

she’s gotten pissed off at him about it only once their entire relationship. but they’d been going through a rough patch with schedules not lining up, and not enough hours in the day to make long distance work, so it’d been a pot of emotions on the verge of boiling over. she’d shouted at him to stop doubting her. that if she hadn’t left yet it’s because she wasn’t planning to. “because i love you!”

he’d felt awful that day. because that’s the last thing he wanted to make her feel. and he’d promised her he’d work on it.

but they don’t tend to argue. their conversations are softer, more compassionate.

“hey,” she grabs his hands “i’m not going anywhere.” pressing kisses to each of his knuckles, she glances up at him. “because i love you, okay?”

they do annoy each other though. quite a bit. sometimes for fun.

who likes to wear the other’s clothes?

teddy loves to wear auggie’s sweatshirts to run errands if it’s something she doesn’t have to get dressed up for. or around the house she’ll grab a shirt or button up. she once wore a flannel of his to record a music special.

they also wear her merch around the house. free clothes and whatnot.

who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

teddy for sure. auggie’s more about letting her sleep, but teddy always wakes him up to share. good dreams, bad ones, crazy ideas, good news, song ideas… her imagination is always going, going, going.

who is more likely to cheat?

on each other? truly? neither. they’d faster cheat on other people for each other. and that sounds cliché and almost fiction, but it isn’t that it’s that they both genuinely like and love each other. cheating doesn’t fit in that box.

who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

probably auggie. though teddy has been known to throw flour.

who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

teddy. auggie will be humming something to himself and she’ll jump in as off-key as possible.

“you’re the oates to my hall, baby,” teddy says, swinging him with her around the kitchen island. “the garfunkel to my simon.”

“oh, so you’re just gonna full on side-kick me now?”

“i’m down on a daydream!” she sings loudly, and okay, maybe the brunch mimosas had been a little more champagne than orange juice that morning. “but that sleepwalk should be over by now, i know!”

auggie throws his head back laughing and he can’t help but grab her face and just kiss her.

objectively, teddy is the better singer. but, and he will deny this, she thinks auggie sounds beautiful in the shower.

who starts the hand holding? who grabs the other's butt? who slides their arm around their waist? who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

the hand holding is somewhat mutual. it kind of happens naturally. they gravitate toward one another to begin with. some… fucking weird energy thing, his sister frannie would say. it was actually visible between them.

the butt touching is totally teddy, and it happens a few dates in when she accidentally has a bit too much wine at dinner. she grabs his ass on the way back to the car. “small but mighty.”

they laughed for a solid ten minutes.

of course, that then meant free reign for him to return the favor. respectfully. but also at will. and gosh was he grateful.

the arm around the waist is auggie, but he’s a very physical person. always pulling her closer, touching her back, anything to feel her right there with him.

who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

auggie, who is already kinda handsy and forward when it comes to sex with teddy, gets handsier when he’s been drinking and his voice is like 2 octaves deeper than usual.

but teddy’s a master at seducing him. like she’s read every book on how to turn him into a putty in her hands. he thinks she finds it fun. no, he knows she does. he knows every outfit she keeps for it. hmph.

she might be louder though. for sure.

who is more protective?

auggie is wildly protective of teddy. her heart, her world, her happiness. and takes it really personally when that’s threatened in any way. but teddy’s really protective of auggie’s feelings. in a healthy way. but she’s always there to catch him if he falls. she’d also go to war for him. in a heartbeat.

who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

not necessarily while they’re sleeping because if it ever starts, the other tends to wake up. but they do talk a lot. unless they’re wiped from exhaustion.

who drives and who has the window seat?

teddy insists on driving most of the time. she enjoys it, and implies he can’t drive. it’s a lie, of course. he’s the better driver.

(“are not.”

“baby.”

“you’re not, though.”)

who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

auggie tends to be the one to fall asleep in her lap. he’s usually the one falling asleep first if his insomnia’s been acting up.

it’s the most rain new york has gotten all year, she observes from her place where she rests against the corner of the couch. the dreariest darkest afternoon they’ve seen in a while. the apartment is dim despite it being just after 2pm that sunday afternoon.

she’s kind of sleepy and could probably go for a nap. but she’d already thrown off her sleep schedule by letting auggie con her into smoking and staying up to watch all of doom patrol. while fun and great, it turned into distracting hands under throw blankets, which turned into 5am, thus making her want to sleep now but she’d just managed to fix what early quarantine had broken.

they’d need to set a new boundary on this friends with benefits thing.

time. sleep. rest.

but then again, who was she kidding? he could say jump and she’d ask how high and never stop. he didn’t know that though. they’d agreed on not going there for the sake of their friendship. that it was just sex. whenever, but still. just sex.

she glances down at him where he’s fast asleep arms wrapped around her midsection, head resting comfortably against her abdomen, lulled by the sound of the rain coming through the open window. and she’s looked at his face a hundred times, but like this, her heart flutters, and she can feel the way she just fully adores him like this.

she can’t help but smile to herself, and sighs. she needs to get over him. and fast. of course, all this weird intimacy they insist on maintaining just because they’ve spent all this time indoors together isn’t going to help that.

she threads her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at the back of his head. “hey, go to your bed,” she says softly. “you fell asleep.”

“mm.” he doesn’t budge and her smile widens. she lightly tugs at his ear. “ow.”

“bed.”

he grumbles without another word, and if she’s wistful as she watches him go to his room, she’ll deny it.

who cuts the other's hair?

that’s not a risk they’ve been willing to take just yet.

who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

if auggie’s feeling particularly confident (usually after a few drinks), he can swing it. otherwise, he’s not great at it.

teddy’s usually the one sending encouraging messages though.

(“yeah, you don’t send me any cause you’re always sending them to darby and ravi.”

“that’s true. but i love you more than them.”

“that’s actually debatable.”)

who thinks they are not good enough for the other’s love? and who’s more afraid of losing the other?

read the anxiety question above.

who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen?

teddy definitely. but auggie will every once in a while. slide her around the kitchen at two in the morning by the light of the refrigerator.

who kissed first?

auggie kissed teddy first. bit the bullet before he lost his nerve. and then he just never stopped.

who orders take out at two in the morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

who writes love songs about the other? do they sing the songs they write for them?

if teddy could write every song in the world about him she absolutely would. but yes, she writes most of the love songs and most of them are about him or to do with him or about dreams they’ve planned together.

there’s a world in which he gives creative input, basically a song writing duo, but he takes no credit. “all the magic is yours anyway, i’m just a sounding board.”

of course, he gets wildly emotional about it, and the way she expresses herself when it comes to him, because again, for the millionth time, he can’t believe her.

who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

not necessarily embarrassed, but auggie typically only wears his glasses at home, so until they live together, it’s rare she sees him in them. she does think he looks cute in them.

which is great because he’s blind as a bat.

who likes to nuzzle their head into their partner’s chest?

teddy. at her coziest. if she could live there, she would.

how many and what colours are the blankets they like to snuggle in?

four or five, at least two of which have been knit by teddy herself. the colors are usually on the softer side, neutrals, navy, dusty pinks. and a blanket crosby brought teddy from a trip to thailand years ago they’ve piled into the mix.

who runs up and hugs their partner and who stands arms wide open to catch their partner?

teddy runs. auggie catches her. every time.

eight months. it’d been eight months since he’d seen her outside of a screen. eight months since he’d held her, touched her, kissed her.

eight months without her. all for the sake of democracy or whatever bullshit.

auggie had been starting to doubt how much longer he could do this without her. and the truth of the matter is deep in his bones he knew he’d wait forever, even at freshly eighteen, he just knew he’d wait for this girl forever and a day.

he’s shifting his weight from the balls of his feet to his heels, hands tucked anxiously into his pocket as he waits at the guest area. her flight had landed and she’d sent him a text saying she hadn’t checked a bag and that she’d be out soon, which meant she’d be here soon.

whether it’s the nerves or the excitement, he isn’t sure, but he might throw up.

but he doesn’t have time to process it, because not a second later, a whirlwind of blonde hair, pink lips and a soft blue dress was running toward him.

and just as her carry-on bag smacks the ground, he catches her in his arms, pressing his lips to hers.

“i missed you so much,” she sniffles, lips finding his once more.

would they rather go on a romantic date or a laid back date? explain why.

any date uninterrupted is a dream date for them. and they could make any moment romantic.

he stumbles some, but somehow manages to regain his composure, even if it means he leans on her a little more than intended.

teddy’s arm around his torso squeezes some, knowing that steadying him means steadying both of them. “you’re so drunk,” she mutters, head tilting onto his shoulder.

auggie scoffs, but ends up laughing in the process, the arm he has around her shoulders squeezing her tight. “babe, it’s two in the morning and you’re wearing sunglasses; don’t—” he giggles. “—don’t call me out for being drunk.”

she grins and giggles herself, the cat-eye style of her sunglasses adding to her mirth. “i calls ‘em like i sees ‘em.”

“you ‘calls ‘em’ huh?”

“shh.” she’s on her toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek, and readjusts his sunglasses in the process.

joy dripped off them like warm light. her heels hung off the fingertips of his left hand and over his shoulder, having traded them for his sneakers. he offered, and would probably have to throw out his socks once their night was done, but he truly couldn’t care less. not when he had all of this around him.

“okay, listen.” she took a sip from the bottle of champagne she was holding before holding it out to him.

“i’m listening.” he lets her go to take a drink, the bubbles no longer tingly against his cheeks.

“you know we can’t stay here for 39 more days, right?”

he furrows his brow, unsure of what she means by that, though it’s taking quite a bit to connect most complex thoughts that aren’t about teddy graham at the moment.

“to get married. you have to live in paris for like 40 days in order to get married here.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“wait, why not?”

“auggie. baby. focus.”

“sorry, let’s sit.” he laughs and holds out his elbow for her to take, leading her to an empty bench just up the way. plopping down on the end, he draws her down to his lap. teddy sits sideways and chooses to extend her legs onto the rest of the bench, crossing her feet at her ankles. his shoes look huge in the distance.

“we can’t stay here.” she pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “the world’s not looking good and i kinda don’t wanna get stuck here.”

auggie nods in agreement. “fair point. so what do we do? do we wait?”

she sighs and grabs the bottle from him, taking a sip before setting it down between her thigh and the back of the bench, next to her shoes. “i don’t wanna wait.” she kisses him. “we’ve waited so long for everything,” she groans, her frustration evident.

he gives her the tiniest of smiles and presses a kiss to her temple, lingering for a long beat. he gets it, of course he does.

“let’s wake daily up.”

his eyes widen as he wraps his arm around her. “no.”

“no?”

“no, she’ll be pissed,” he chuckles. “i already woke her up once to find you, i don’t think i’d survive a second night of interrupting her sleep.”

teddy laughs, full belly laughs, and he can’t help but join her. they might have to lay off the champagne soon, but they can worry about that later. “daily is ordained.” she curls into his chest. “she’s the only way we can leave paris married.”

he leans forward, resting his forehead on her shoulder. “starting my first official day as a member of your family by getting murdered. cool.”

she smiles, dropping a kiss atop his head, hints of his shampoo wafting into her nose. “is that a yes?”

“i gave you my shoes; a real no for you doesn’t exist in my vocabulary.” he gently kicks his socked feet to make a point.

“first of all, you offered and insisted, and second, you should be proud of yourself for saying vocabluary.”

“vocabluary?” he picks his head up, amusement coloring his features.

she’s kissing him then, both hands pressed against his cheeks. “come on, let’s go get married before you start feeling over-dramatic and change your mind on me.” she swings her legs over and stands, holding her hands out to him.

“never, ever, in my life.” he takes her hands and stands.

“oh, sure. like you didn’t just fly across the ocean cause you missed me even though you just saw me. the level of drama is staggering.”

“i didn’t.” he shakes his head and grabs her shoes and the near empty bottle of champagne. “i had business.” he takes a swig before handing her the last of it.

“in paris?” she giggles and sips the rest, tossing the empty bottle in a nearby trash can before he wraps his arm around her so they can start to walk.

“mhm. i had to pick up my wife.” she hip checks him and he grins. “all the more reason for you to know i’m not changing my mind.”

“i know. all your drama is reserved for how much you love me and how you have to make a big deal about that all the time. softy.” she presses a kiss to his hand resting over her shoulder. “doesn’t mean i can’t make fun of you for it.”

“i like a gesture.” he shrugs.

“yes, you do. it’s cute.”

teddy grins, wide and bright, and he squeezes her tight. “you’re cute.”

who still gets butterflies after years of dating?

they both do. there are a lot of reasons for which their relationship has had to take a backseat, so every moment they do get to spend together is cherished. and when it becomes permanent, it feels brand new every day.

who is the one who makes their partner laugh so much that their face hurts?

despite how cool they both come across, they’re both actually spectacularly dorky and goofy and ridiculous. so they’re always laughing about something dumb or silly or an inside joke they remember all the time, especially at very inopportune times.

(”we ran out of a funeral once.”

“aug, don’t remind me, i’m still ashamed.”

“well, it was either that or we had a laughing fit in there.”

“we’re monsters.”

“i feel like the dead parents club gives you morbid privileges by association.”)

who accidentally drinks too much caffeine and who has to deal with their partner bouncing off the walls?

auggie already has too much coffee to begin with, but when he has too much caffeine he’s a bouncy ball off concrete walls.

where is a special place they hold close to their hearts? why is it special?

paris. whenever they’ve allowed themselves to think of a place where they want to be together, to dream about where everything would be perfect, it’s paris.

walking along the seine, seeing the eiffel tower, watching the sunset on a rooftop, seeing the art at the louvre

(“being the art at the louvre.”

“auggie.”

“you are though.”)

she proposes before one of her paris shows.

they wake up her sister in the middle of the night to officiate their marriage before they’re back in the states.

there’s just something about paris that’s everything and more to them.

who has awful taste in music?

not awful, but auggie probably likes more questionable music.

“unironically listening to nickelback isn’t a bad thing, you’re all just haters.”

which one of them is the meme lover?

auggie loves a good meme. he loves making memes also. and making memes about teddy as a goof.

how did their second date go?

terrible. they’d wanted each other for so long they didn’t know what to do now that they had each other so they were so nervous they ruined it.

(”you didn’t ruin it.”

“i didn’t talk all night!”

“well, at least you didn’t spill wine all over your dress.”

“it wasn’t that bad!”

“i could never wear it anymore.”)

of course, the apology that followed and the makeup date more than made up for it.

how many children do they want/have?

depends on if they ever stop going at it like bunny rabbits. no, but three. honorable, beautiful mention to their son, lip.

who is the better dancer?

natural dancer? auggie. still a klutz though. teddy is a terrible dancer, but she’s become great at choreography. she also does not care.

do/did they have a theme wedding?

no. they eloped, actually. got married together in secret. they did have a party though after to celebrate with family. no theme though. 

what do their parents think of them dating?

teddy’s parents love auggie. they think he’s sweet, and kinda dorky. but he’s as dorky as their sweet girl and they love that about him. they’re especially delicate about being parents to him. not replacing or overstepping, but reminding him he’s their son now, too.

are they a super sappy couple?

severely. nauseating. but in a really endearing way. refreshing almost.

who asked the other to get married?

teddy proposed seconds before she went on stage.

who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

auggie stays up too late, and teddy makes stupid jokes.

who is the nerd?

auggie

who knows the most obscure facts?

auggie.

who makes the other a flower crown?

teddy (and cardigans and blankets and mittens and hats and scarves)

who likes to read?

teddy. she reads constantly.

who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

auggie. very adorable. very annoying.

do they have similar taste in movies?

yeah, for the most part. they’re both into classic comedies. auggie does love a superhero/comic book movie though.

how do their personalities complement each other?

teddy is bright and loud and awkward and unapologetically herself. auggie is bright but more reserved unless in good company and definitely second guesses himself more. but they do a great job of catching each other wherever they need, if that makes sense. filling in the blanks, combining all the puzzle pieces, yin to yang.

how do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

the minute they’re in the clear about things being safe. especially after lip. they do get creative with sharing their news, though. and it’s always cute.

who has better fashion sense?

teddy for sure. she can create an entire look from a color. auggie dresses well, but well for him.

who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

auggie. no question.

what songs do they sing together in the car?

depends on the mood. sometimes oldies, sometimes the radio will just play. sometimes loud with all the windows down.

who likes to prank the other?

auggie came from a house of pranks, so he loves pranking her. 

who is the one who loves to take pictures?

teddy likes a random selfie here and there, but auggie likes having his camera out during quiet moments to catch her unaware. not often, because their private moments are sacred. but every once in a while.

how would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

they wouldn’t be surprised. it’d be the missing piece of the puzzle.

where would they live?

depends. sometimes new york. sometimes suburbia. sometimes an estate up in maine. sometimes paris is the way to go. wherever the other one is, really.

what type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

probably like drogon targaryen. protective, and only trusts them.

what would they dress up as, for halloween?

they have pretty creative costumes, usually comedic ones. wayne’s world. cosmo and wanda. dumb and dumber. juno and paulie bleeker when they were pregnant with rosie and briar cause they both got a kick of it (and cause she actually got to drink a gallon of sunny d… even if she puked it all later while he held her hair back)

there was one year they did nightwing and batgirl for allie’s superhero themed party and he absolutely dragged her out of there early because of the red wig.

can they name each other’s favourite food?

teddy would say auggie’s addiction to chinese takeout is borderline unhealthy.

“whoa, hey.”

“dude, it is.”

but probably italian after that summer he became obsessed with learning how to make homemade pasta and pasta sauce.

auggie would say desserts. sweet tooth galore for her.

do they have pet names for one another?

usually ‘ted’ and ‘aug’, but teddy has welcomed ‘baby’ into the mix. cause he’s her baby. he’ll let a ‘baby’ or ‘babe’ out here and there, but he usually just prefers ‘ted.’

teddy is also in the business of coming up with every pun on his name she can think of. snoop auggie aug and augustus gloop might still be her best work.

how do they cheer each other up?

distractions and affection. sometimes food. games. music.

do they show a lot of pda?

they don’t really makeout in public, but they are very physical. hand holding, hugs, back rubs. proximity is a security blanket for them.

how old were they when they got together?

depends on the universe, but anywhere between 15-22, usually with history.

can they do yoga couple’s poses?

no they’re a pair of klutzes. it’s ironic as hell.

what is their song?

such great heights - the postal service lover - teddy bea~

what does their room look like?

they usually have a big cozy bed, one allowing them room to stretch out and take up space, even though they end up in each other’s space nearly every single night.

their things are intertwined. her clothes with his. his toiletries near hers. there are pictures and art they both love, and the agreement that they wouldn’t have a tv in their room to enjoy each other and rest in there. 

relaxing colors. wood tones, soft greens. maybe a few plants. definitely a balcony with a view.

who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

auggie currently kills zombies while teddy keeps him grounded.

who makes the other breakfast in bed?

auggie makes breakfast in bed unless he’s slept in.

who loves kids more?

they’re both a pair of big kids themselves. so it’s pretty even. they adore kids.

do either of them have a crazy ex?

possibly? hm.

what are their favourite colours?

auggie likes shades of blue and green. teddy likes golden colors and pinks. 

who likes to cook?

they both do. they like to cook together. though teddy is more of a baker, and auggie is more of the savory chef. cooking’s cathartic for both of them, and definitely something they love to do together.

who is the forgetful one?

probably auggie.

does either of them know how to fight?

make (lots of) love not war. they’re the softest of humans. soft, soft, soft.

what do they do for valentine's day?

depends. usually any excuse to spend time together is nice. valentine’s day can be any old day for them. flowers though. making a dessert to eat together. maybe a weekend getaway.

who swears more?

auggie’s a fucking potty mouth.

who has the better comebacks?

teddy. for sure.

who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

her brother crosby and his sister fiona.

who reads buzzfeed?

auggie. fanboy king.

who is the hopeless romantic?

teddy, but they’re both wildly romantic, almost in equal measure.

do either of them know how to do a handstand?

believe it or not, both of them.

who can rap better?

teddy.

“ollie might’ve disowned me if i didn’t learn.”

do either of them want to go skydiving?

god no.

“i mean, i might wanna try. north said it was fun.”

“and your name is not north oeste. it’s auggie hunter, and you’re not jumping out of a frickin plane.”

what do they usually text about?

missing each other. food ideas. teddy’s legs. reminders. whatever crazy idea bixby’s got going on. whatever insane idea allie’s got going on. date plans. i love yous. and teddy’s legs.

who is the dramatic one?

auggie.

is either one confrontational?

not particularly. they talk too much for heavy confrontation so fights are rare. they’re willing to fight for each other though. 

what is their favourite cuddle position?

auggie’s love language is physical touch. he likes to touch and be touched, so when it comes to cuddling, if he’s tired or sad or depressed, he’s for sure the one to rest his head in teddy’s lap for her to rub his head or back. but he’s also definitely happy to be the big spoon and wrap her up in his arms so there’s no space between them.

“can i tell you a secret?”

“let me guess, you were already married,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to where her bangs meet the rest of her hair, both arms wrapping around her shoulders.

“pfft.” she snuggles up into his chest, closing her eyes as she tucks her fingers under his left suspender.

“okay, that’s definitely not a no.” his hand trails over the bare skin of her upper back, pinky lightly gliding over where the fabric of her dress begins.

“you married me two weeks ago, keep up.” auggie hums in agreement. “also, there’s really hot lingerie under my dress right now...”

“oh?”

“but this dress has at least nine hundred and three buttons, and i know we wanted a party, but weddings are really tiring.” her voice is quiet and a little bit whiny.

“and you wanna take a nap,” he finishes.

“as badly as i wanna get into your pants.”

he laughs again, this time squeezing her a little bit tighter than before. “i promise i won’t tell anybody we took a nap on our wedding night if you won’t.” he smiles to himself, closing his own eyes as he drops another kiss atop her head.

she swoons.

who listens to more vulgar music?

pretty even. they’re not picky about that.

do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

no. they know everything. everything.

who is their go to couple for a double date?

eli and thayer, josie and ollie with daily and naomi, darby and north, or allie and frannie, though he’s still yet to figure out how he can manage to be the only one with the girlfriend in the bunch and still be the odd one out when those two are involved.

do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

absolutely.

how do they work out a fight?

sometimes they’ll need space just to let themselves cool off. saves them from saying something they don’t mean.

and then they talk. for hours.

who brings home an illegal pet?

neither of them. maybe teddy.

what side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

auggie on the right and teddy on the left. (or really, auggie closer to the window and teddy closer to the door)

what is their favorite photo of them two together?

it always changes but it’s a tie between them at disney and this random photo of them at an award show backstage.

she’d been wearing a pink cape over her shoulders, and sitting on top of the back of the couch in her green room after she got all her awards. and when he’d sat between her legs, she’d wrapped him up in it like a blanket and kissed his cheek. naomi caught it just in time.

who takes longer in the bathroom?

depends. usually teddy.

who has more songs on their ipod?

teddy.

what movie did they first see together?

stepbrothers.

what do they like to see each other in?

“nothing.”

“auggie.”

auggie prefers nothing, or really anything that shows off her legs. he really, really loves her legs. her ass too. all of her really, anyway…

“i like a tux. you look really good in a tux.”

who makes jokes at inappropriate times?

auggie.

at what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

i think they just know they want kids, and it comes about as a “when we have kids” kind of moment. and neither of them question it because there’s no objection. there’s also the fact that the first time she gets pregnant catches them both by surprise.

what do they love about each other the most?

auggie loves how much teddy loves. her heart is enormous and the amount of love that pours out of her at any given moment takes his breath away. she’s there for all her friends and family no questions asked, and the way she loves him, and the way she takes care of him, he could’ve never imagined he’d ever deserve a love like that.

she’s his loving, perfect little goofball.

teddy loves how much auggie cares about stuff. he’s so excitable and bright eyed and he has every reason to be jaded but just isn’t. not really. not in the ways it counts. he just loves things and people and comes at them with the excitement of the very first day.

and that smile of his. she’ll do anything to see him smile. that… wow. yeah.

who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focuses on the small details?

teddy sees the big picture always. she’s patient like that. auggie focuses on the details. it’s why he can spiral, and how she can make sure he doesn’t.

what would they write on their partner’s social media for their anniversary?

vlauggie: no idea where you came from or what i did to deserve you, but life with you is pretty amazing. (and then a picture of teddy baking in the kitchen with her back turned)

teddybea: for sure my favorite human. (with a video of him playing a vr game he didn’t know she was recording)

who is bad at math?

teddy. math sucks.

who googles everything?

auggie probably. but he’s always connected to something so it’s a habit at this point.

who does stuff on impulse?

also auggie. anxiety. and low patience. he talks about allie, but he’s worse, just less vocal.

(“okay that’s a lie, nobody is like allie. nobody.”)

how do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

there’s a lot of holding and cuddling for comfort. sometimes they just sit in silence in front of the fireplace. or they’ll lie on the floor. they like the floor. there’s a lot of thinking done on the floor.

what is an inside joke they have?

if there’s a secret room they’ve likely hooked up in it. not sure if that’s an inside joke but there ya go.

just for you

who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

teddy just has to breathe and auggie is smiling for the rest of the day.

what is their favourite holiday?

probably christmas because they’re two big kids. and there’s something really wondrous about christmas lights. for all the times they’ve been apart on holidays, christmas has always been the one they’ve had to figure out how to make their own.

they like to lie side by side under the christmas tree and look up at the lights and dream.

who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

they’re both pretty calm and collected for the most part. he’s definitely the one to lose his head first, though.

what is their favourite board game to play?

classic? clue. though they go through a chess phase after the queen’s gambit. also life. not technically a board game, but taboo. but their brains are connected, so people hate playing with them.

who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

auggie would probably drive the getaway car.

what artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

some tiny indie show deep in brooklyn where they could hide in plain sight.

who is the more social one?

probably teddy. auggie’s fairly social, and nice, but it does take him a second to jump in.

what are their karaoke songs?

auggie does a mean “it’s all coming back to me now” by celine dion, and no, he will not be taking questions after this.

teddy does classic pop queens of course. “stronger” by britney spears is a show.

(though, and this isn’t necessary karaoke, she once got pulled into singing an acoustic version unpretty by tlc with daily and it was probably the most beautiful thing ever)

who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

auggie, one thousand percent. happily.

which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?

teddy always warns auggie not to stay up, but he does anyway, and then he’s dealing with the consequences.

which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?

that kitchen is fucking master chef. next question.

which one spends all day running errands and which one says “you remembered [thing], right?”

auggie probably spends time running around and comes back with his arms full of stuff.

“shit, i meant to text you, i’m sorry. you remembered the ice cream, right?”

“fuck.”

(he’s driven back to the store on a few occasions)

if they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?

auggie is certainly more dramatic so he’d make a huge deal about it, while teddy just strolls in behind him. “you could’ve just pushed this button.”

which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?

teddy brings auggie something from every tour stop he doesn’t make it to. or she’ll replace his streaming headphones every once in a while.

auggie’s more of a gestures guy. he’ll make dinner, show up unannounced (though she’s done this before and he nearly fell over) plan a date in front of the fire or on a roof top, whisk her away on a long drive for an adventure.

which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?

okay, it was one time and he doesn’t scream about spiders, but he’s a city boy and bugs are just not his wave at all.

which one gives the other their jacket?

auggie. he’s been known to give her the shoes off his feet also. so that tells you everything you need to know.

who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?

not threatened but roasted. daily, belly, and honey forever roast auggie within an inch of his life. all with love. it’s the one time he’s grateful for his mess of a bunch for giving him a thicker skin.

olive, on the other hand, threatens his very existence if he ever hurts teddy. but she and teddy are like sisters too.

who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?

teddy, probably. auggie might be too nervous. unless he literally can’t take it anymore and then it just bursts out of him,

how good would they be at parenting?

team effort for sure. auggie’s probably a bit more of a pushover than teddy is, but that’s because he has such a soft spot for teddy that of course he’d be mush at any human who came from her.

and they just adore their kids so much. like heart bursting kind of love.

losing lip is hard, and nearly breaks them, but it makes them appreciate the little moments in between even more. even if that means getting rosie’s little feet in the face in the middle of the night. or briar’s knees in the ribs. or having to squeeze into aurora’s bed to make sure the monsters don’t come out in the middle of the night.

(their daughters don’t seem to make the connection that they have towers for parents until way later in life)

which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?

they’re both pretty regular with their typing. auggie definitely uses more internet slang though.

who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?

teddy makes terrible puns and laughs at herself while doing it. 

who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?

teddy probably would bring home a puppy or kitten no question.

which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?

he’d never been to disney before, and his dad’s miracle campaign stop lining up with her tour ends up being the brightest source of light through the end of the tunnel.

but here he is, sparkly ears, blue, pink, and purple, atop his head, and a ‘my first visit’ pin on his chest, both purchased by her. she’d played tour guide and they’d had the best first day ever.

“‘d you have fun?” she mumbles, arms wrapping tighter around his chest as her lips lightly find the side of his neck.

he nods, rearranging his hands on her thighs and boosting her up so she could rest more comfortably on his back. “yeah, it was amazing.”

“good,” she smiles, resting her chin on his shoulder.

which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?

teddy performing on stage is auggie’s favorite brand of euphoria. she shines up there, but ironically, he can’t cheer for her. he can only smile proudly or else his heart bursts from love.

family game night, however? the full hunter-graham labor day weekend maine extravaganza, when they destroy everyone at charades? yankees winning the world series level cheers.

“they definitely practice when we’re not here,” bixby mutters.

“oh totally,” frannie agrees beside him. “gross.”

auggie on a baseball field is also a sight to see. he doesn’t play much anymore. but he’s zeroes in his focus, and the seamlessness between him and allie is impressive, considering how much they bicker. teddy totally shows up in her cute “watching baseball outfit” jersey, cap, foam finger and all.

which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?

teddy should definitely be the one trusted with fashion because auggie, while not a bad dresser, doesn’t have much variety to his wardrobe.

however, teddy did ask auggie to help touch up her highlights over quarantine and dye some of it pink and he did a pretty decent job for his first time. only missed a few spots

“you can thank me for that,” allie says one day over zoom. “i bullied him into learning how to french braid my hair when we were seven.”

“no, don’t laugh,” auggie says seriously. “she actually did bully me.”

which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?

auggie’s fully convinced teddy’s cats want him dead. they haven’t done anything to him, not really, but there’s a look that warns him he won’t make it out of this house alive by the end of it. whatever ‘it’ is...

which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?

auggie. they’re both towers, but he’s still taller than she is, so it just makes sense for him to hold the umbrella and hold her in the process.

if your they went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? who would take the pictures?

see paris above.

although they’d thrive on a beach, minus the inevitable sunburn.

“but the freckles you get after are cute,” teddy says, and kisses both of his cheeks.

and in a winter lodge.

“so,” he says, setting down his eggnog on the lip of the hot tub to tug on her arm. “where were we?” he asks, drawing her onto his lap.”

and in a tiny hostel in amsterdam they end up having to share a tiny bed in because they make a mistake when booking.

“i swear to god if you two start hooking up down there, i’m going to kill you both.”

“allie,” he groans, kicking the bunk above him, “shut the fuck up.”

teddy giggles. “did you have to do all that?” she asks, twining her leg with his again. “we’d just figured out how to get cozy.”

“are you guys just gonna talk all night or let me sleep?” olive grumbles.

“all of you? shut the fuck up,” frannie says finally, and if she could’ve slammed a door, she probably would’ve.

[shesawriter39049]

“PRIVATE SESSIONS” BTS OT7 (M) MULTI MEMBER ONE SHOT SERIES

“PRIVATE SESSIONS” BTS OT7 (M) MULTI MEMBER ONE SHOT SERIES

INTRODUCTION- “BANGTAN X Y/N”

- (There is still a lil smut in this as well as smut and kinks are discussed, But this is also the backstory because the other installments just jump right into it.. )

Part 1..AKA the first “Private Session”  will pick up where this ends with Y/N X “___” see if you can guess which member it is by end of this. It’s 4k all of the instalments will be around 3K..pretty much straight to the point..smut with a a mini backstory/scenario...each member will get there own….

P.S - I wrote this intro a month or ago and forgot about it..if you guys want part 1 that will come early Feb!

INTRO -BANGTAN X Y/N -1/16/19

PART 1- UP 

“Oh my god…yes..” Your cry wasn’t even audible as you pressed your face into the glass, nails clawing at his clothed thighs, surprised you actually didn’t rip a hole straight through ..as pure pleasure rang through your ears feeling yourself drip down your thighs. The firm grip he held around your neck, almost knocking the wind out of you as he rolled his hips into you.. deeper..teeth grazing the skin beneath your neck “Louder..” The command coming out in the form of a growl coursed through your veins as his opposite hand connected to your clit almost making your knees buckle. You were already so swollen and beyond sensitive as the wind nipped against your skin..blowing your hair away from your neck..cooling over the heat that was streaming down your body..”I said..LOUDER..let everybody hear you..let everyone know how good I’m fucking you, and how wet, your pussy gets for me..fuck baby your so wet..”

 Let’s rewind a little shall we?

 If someone would’ve told you 6 months ago you’d be on a balcony in Tokyo… at 1am with “____”’s hand around your throat..while your face was pressed against a glass window,a good oh I don’t know…20 stories up….you’d think they were high as fuck. I mean for good reason, don’t get me wrong…you were attractive..clearly..that’s why the boys ended up with your number. But you weren’t an idol…some famous youtuber ..or an IG model..you were just Y/N a 24 year old Real estate agent from Chicago.That somehow fell down the black hole that is BTS..you told yourself you were too old to be a fangirl again…but clearly that didn’t last long. You won a contest through IHEARTRADIO to attend a private showcase with the boys. There was barley 100 fans there..an opportunity to attend a show THAT intimate with a band of this caliber was almost unheard of. There was also a separate drawing for 10 fans to get a 10 minute meet and greet, to talk and take pictures…well you went last and your meet and greet actually lasted almost a half hour. The boys clicked with you instantly. The main thing they loved was the fact that you able to just dick around with them like they were normal guys. On top of the fact that even though they didn’t admit it initially..they found you so inticising.The perfect combination of all the things they weren’t use to in the bubble they lived in and that sealed the deal! By the end of the meet and greet Namjoon had your number..not holding your breath he’d even ever use it…well little did you know that would open the door to a million possibilities. All thanks to a group chat that was created and used regularly “Bangtan X Y/N” the conversations were not typically long and sometimes they made no damn sense..sending random memes back and forth..Tae sending pics of clothes he wanted to buy…Kookie sending you weird ass shit he finds in tourist shops.. Hell sometimes you’d even ask them advice on guys or what to wear on a date. At times you may only talk once a week..and it may take each member more time than others to respond but they always did and you guys actually created a genuine friendship…Believe it or not…the conversations also NEVER turned sexual up until this point.

 You slowly but surely earned their trust, after talking to you for a while they realized you weren’t looking for anything from them. You never pried for personal information…asked for free tickets..sneak peeks of music, the rare occasions you’d meet them, they’d offer to pay and you’d be ready to damn near cut their balls off. You let them decided what they did or didn’t wanna share, weather that be what they ate for lunch, or how completely exhausted and stressed they were, the ball was always in there court.  More importantly you didn’t walk on eggshells with them nor did you ever hold your tongue because of who they were and they loved that. It just felt honest…due to their busy schedule and you just having your own damn life, within this 6 month period..you’d only seen them 2 times.The meet and greet in the summer..and about 2 months after that when they went to New York…the boys have been begging you to come back out but you just couldn’t find the time. This has probably been your busiest, but most successful year as an agent but due to you just getting to the point where you were making steady money and had some cushion in the bank..you didn’t have a assistant yet so you were doing it all yourself.

Financially it would kind of be a waste of money to travel overseas unless you could stay at least 2 weeks! Your pride wouldn’t let them cover your flight…lord knows they offered…instead you just settled for them smothering you in all the wine and sushi your heart desired. Finally deciding in January, you’d go see your Bangtan boys.. now here you are almost 4 months later in Tokyo..

The boys were about to start the last leg of the tour in about 10 days…just wanting a break..they rented out a pretty nice penthouse suite at the Ritz Carlton Tokyo for a couple days. Setting up a studio space so they could throw around some ideas for there new project..in a more laxed atmosphere. To be honest you were kind of playing the whole thing by ear, you had a couple friends that lived abroad. As far as the boys were concerned, besides just hanging out in their suite, they wanted you to at least attended one show before you left! They were also determined to find a way to get you backstage at a couple events they had coming up without Bighit busting a nut..but you weren’t holding your breath on that one. Honestly you weren’t too concerned though, you had other things to do outside of seeing the boys anyway. Already going into this with the understanding that for one they’re still pretty busy, so whatever time you got you wouldn’t complain..and two this wasn’t LA things had to be done hella low key over here. Which is why you were treating this as moreso a vacation which you desperately needed and they were just a bonus. Your plan was to stay at your hotel for 3 days..then crash with friends….you actually only bought your ticket to Tokyo…not really sure where you’d end up by the end of it! Perks to being an agent is you were your own boss, you made your own schedule. Actually just closing a deal before leaving so once that check cleared that covered next months bills.So in all honesty you weren’t sure when you’d be back in the states. I mean shit, you’ve been busting your ass for the past 2 years trying to get to this point you deserve a break too!

It was about 8 at night, you landed a couple hours prior but jetlag knocked you flat on your ass, you were staying in the same hotel just about 8 floors down.Your body was slowly starting to stir naturally, but the extra push came from the fact that you fell asleep with your headphones in ..and Taehyung was calling you.The sudden blast against your ear drums almost making you roll off the bed completely before you realized what was happening. Clicking the answer button not even waiting for you to say hello “We literally ordered you every piece of sushi on the menu, you should probably get your ass up here before Kookie eats it all, I can only hold him off for so long!” The base… in this man’s voice, holyshit…it was rare you guys talked on the phone, due to you being on completely opposite time schedules the majority of the time. To be honest..hearing him..remembering he was so close almost made you nervous. Which threw you off initially, because in all honesty by now you typically felt very comfortable when you talked to them. But, again let’s get real..this was still BTS regardless of how down to earth they are…that still doesn’t change the aura they have! I think because you guys were always texting from so far away it almost made you feel like this was all a fantasy..I mean it’s been months… now they were literally upstairs waiting for you.

 You couldn’t help but let out a snort as you rubbed your eyes,vision still foggy “Such a baby ..” your tone slightly groggy due to just waking up “Aww,I told you she was probably sleeping good job Tae!” You knew that was Jimin, his voice was a little softer..he just always sounds so…I don’t know..relaxed? You couldn’t help but smile always such a sweetheart! But before you could even say anything...“Well I mean in his defense it’s like 8 at night…sooo…” You also knew that sarcastic growl anywhere “Fuck you Yoongi…” the clap back came instant with zero hesitation or thought behind it. The two of you had a very love hate relationship. Of course it was playful but you two gave each other shit 24/7. You heard them all erupt in laughter almost in unison..and the smile on your face stretched even wider. “Okay but forreal, my tolerance for food is non existent..and this foods already been here about 5 minutes you got another 60 seconds before I start eating without you!” There he was..the world’s favorite brat..-”Ignore him babe, he’s not touching a damn thing until you get up here..” It was slightly muffled..I think he was kinda far away but you already knew who it was..too…Hoseok and Namjoon were the only ones who called you by a pet name, had since they met you.  You felt your face get hot, almost forgetting how good that sounds in person “Thank you Hobi..alright give me like 5 minutes..someone text me the room number..hey wait..where’s Jonnie and Jin!?” It almost felt like you could feel his laugh the rumble…sat so low…you already knew he was probably sitting there looking boyfriend as fuck with those deep ass dimples “I’m here princes..Jin’s asleep..he’s not feeling so good. I’ll text you the room number..take your time..” - “Don’t listen to him..I’m hungry!”- “Oh my god Kookie shut up! She just said she’s coming! Your not gonna die!” It was clear Namjoon was about done with Jungkook for the night, his tone was as dry as can be  “You don’t know that..then YOU’D have to explain to ARMY what happened” You couldn’t help but scoff at how dramatic this boy was..but also you were damn near in tears from listening to them bicker back in fourth. “God forbid you die of starvation..alright Kookie, I’ll be there in a minute..bye guys!”

 Sitting on the edge of the bed trying to contemplate what to do…not wanting to overdo it because they knew you just woke up but I mean come on…you couldn’t look like you just woke up either! Throwing on a pair of high waisted leggings, they were comfy and you know they made your ass look good, and a loose black cropped cut up band tee. Running some tinted brow gel though your brows, a orangey bronzer on your cheeks for blush, and some gloss,being oh so thankful for lash extensions. You looked wayyy more put together than you really were.. putting your hair in high ponytail, pulling out a couple pieces around your face. A couple spritz of perfume and you were out the door, taking in a couple slow breaths before knocking on there door. Shaking off any nerves that were suddenly moving up your throat. “You got this girl…you got this..” giving yourself a well needed pep talk before letting your knuckles meet the door. You instantly heard the commotion from there room and it didn’t take long for you to hear the door unlatch. Letting out one more deep exhale, before you faced whoever was behind it.  Once the door opened you knew you were done, Namjoon’s eyes met yours, you watched them crinkle as he smiled down at you..those dimples!! THOSE DIMPLES!! And he looked good, they all looked and smelled so good…no makeup..skin glowing..looking boyfriend as fuck. The jeans,sweatpants..backwards snapbacks..foreheads exposed there were foreheads…foreheads everywhere! This was just a lot for one person to take in, you low key were feelin kinda attacked and I don’t blame you! ! Feeling like you almost had to squeez your thighs together as you walked in the room..…Once you entered you were greeted by warm smiles and even warmer hugs, each of their individual scent hitting your nose as they pulled you into there frame. Each touch was different, the embrace..how long it lingered, to be honest you almost could predict how it would go. The way each member hugged you almost reflected the way they interacted with you via text.

 About a hour went by..you found yourself on the couch sandwiched between Hoseok and Jimin, legs rested on Jimin’s lap while you guys ate sushi and drunk wine. Jimin’s hand casually resting on your thigh as he ate, yes..Park Jimin….had his hand.. On. Your .Thigh. What is life right now?? Not to mention the boys not knowing what personal space is, and just being total sweethearts, there was certain foods that you obviously aren’t familiar with. Not only did they explain it but they fed it to you..like the way you see them feed each other in Vlives….yeah. I don’t think you’d ever get the visual of Kim Taehyung putting a piece of sushi in your mouth, then licking the left over eel sauce off his finger..out of your head..

All of the nervous energy you felt on your way up here was completely gone, it was crazy how comfortable you felt around them! The conversation was pretty random and all over the place, just like your group chat. The boys more so wanting to hear about how you’ve been, they were very fascinated in your line of work, especially Yoongi and Hoseok. Once you finished eating the room fell  silent..which you didn’t mind until you noticed the mischievous smirk on Jungkook’s face. While Namjoon passed out tiramisu for dessert. “Kookie..what the holy hell is that face!?” Kicking up your brow in curiously while Yoongi randomly erupted in laughter, the tone alone was suspect.. and at this point you had to know what was up. Your eyes shot to Taehyung’s, because you knew he’d cave! Letting out a slow huff before setting his plate down. You could tell he wanted to smile though so it couldn’t be that bad right? “Wellll…” purposely being an ass and dragging it out knowing damn well you were dying over there “WELL!?” your tone?…yeah..not so chill…smacking the pillow that was currently in your lap. At this point you guys were almost 2 bottles deep so your patience was nonexistent..“Well she’s not very patient..” Yoongi teased with a smirk, as he licked his lips and suddenly the pillow that was on your lap was flying halfway across the room “Alright,alright I’ll tell you just don’t throw anything at me next….So last night..Kook kinda sorta found your tumblr….” The words came out slow, as his tongue teased the corner of his lip, his eyes tracing yours carefully waiting to see how you’d respond. The room was dead silent at first, and well to be fair you didn’t see the big deal, it was a mix of makeup fashion, sex and BTS. Your eyes scanned the room with a slight shrug “Oohhkayyy..” You let your words drag out making it very clear that you were obviously missing the punchline…”Right..but like..we were bored… so we went…kindaaaaa far back…” Hoseok glanced down at you as he stuffed his face, and then my friend…there it was…your eyes went wide in pure terror once it clicked. “Oh fuckkkkk” I think you actually wheezed and curled into a ball..have you ever seen a rollie pollie curl up into a ball? Well yeah that was you!

 See…back in the day your BTS content had no chill, not only did you reblog smut but your tags..were on a whole nother level! Everything from Jimin’s thick neck,, to wanting Taehyung to tie you up with his Gucci headband,and do whatever the fuck he wanted, sitting on Jimin’s face, having Hoseok fuck you in front of a mirror, Yoongi’s tongue game, Namjoons daddy kink, Junkooks sub switch! Yeah girl you were ugh..mortified to say the least. “Oh fuck me!!”  This time It almost came out as a screech as your face fell into Hoseok’s lap, and they all cackled so loud it was unreal. You felt him massage your shoulder trying to put you at ease..but there was no way..no way… “Oh don’t worry I screenshot some of my favorites..serious question..please explain to me the sexual attraction to Jimin’s.. In your words “ Thick ass neck..daddy yassssssss” Yoongi breathed out, the emphies on the “Yasss” had you limp to say the least…at least the boys found this hilarious because all you could hear in the background was cackling while you felt like you were dying! “Wait one more time Yoongi?” Hoseok breathed out with a snort and you lightly nipped at his thigh with your teeth..causing him to make a noise that you damn sure weren’t ready for, because you felt that shit in more places than one. “Yassssssssssss” Yoongi breathed out one more time in a high pitched tone. All you could do was flick him off..not even able to raise our head at this point! You felt Jimin start to rub your thigh, his way of letting you know you were fine. It was clear the post from the past couple months, since you’ve met them..they haven’t been as..intense. Probably because now that you know them..it made it kinda weird..but at the end of the day you were a fangirl..that’s how you guys met and they were on YOUR tumblr! So once you got over the initial shock…meh it is what it is!

 Taehyung crawled over to you, taking your face in his hands, trying to make you look up at him . Pressing his forehead to yours..and now you really weren’t going to open your eyes. “I’m not moving until you look at me …hey..do I need to go get my Gucci headband ?” His tone was playful, it was clear he just wanted to make sure you were good….but to be honest the threat sounds more like a sinful tease. His voice barely above a whisper,breath hitting your skin, a mixture of white wine and coffee from the tiramisu.His hands felt so soft against your skin it was unreal, you fluttered your eyes open, and he smiled back at you…”There’s our girl!” Pulling back from you, rocking back on the floor. No matter how embarrassed you were..hearing him say that..”Our girl..”..had you feeling..of course at ease but also slightly turned on? Yet you couldn’t help but whine as you readjusted our ponytail your face felt like it was on fire…”Why does everyone think I have a mirror kink? I mean it’s true but what about me says that?” Hoseok’s brows furrowed, in confusion as he licked the whipped cream off his fork.. In which a scoff left your lips without even realizing “Ghee I don’t know maybe because your a dancer and spend a lot of time in a studio..and I mean as a dancer your a perfectionist..so in theory you like to watch yourself..hmm..I knew that was spot on!” Glancing over at him, voice playfully flirtatious,, but the look this man gave you in return..you just…no you weren’t ready for it. It was like he went from being Jhope to Jay, tongue slowly sliding against his plump bottom lip. As a smirk moved up his face, before causally returning his glance to the pastry on his plate. It was like he knew he knocked the wind outta you for a moment, and that alone was enough for him to be content just knowing he could if he wanted too. It just hit you how turned on you suddenly were…as sassy as you could be you loved a man that was dominant…and you already knew this man was dom AF I mean come on   “Well it didn’t take long for her sassy ass to shake off acting shy and embarrassed..Yo..Jimin..man are-are you taking pictures of your neck!? “Yoongi’s face was priceless as he leaned up from his chair, trying to get a better look and you could help but snort, whipping your head around to see for yourself . All he did was shrug nonchalant..no shame…”Actually I’m looking at it in my camera…ya know I never realized it but I actually do have a really nice neck” Nodding in approval at his own reflection, as he should because the boy was fine…. “Wooowww…Jin would be proud…” Namjoon just rolled his eyes as he let his glance meet yours “Where just giving you a hard time honestly..we’ve seen wayyy crazier, its normal and at the end of the day..it comes with the territory. Part of being a idol is being a fantasy. I mean shit it’s part of why they don’t like us to date..nothing’s changed on our end so I really hope your not like freaking out about this…” His whole delivery was warm, and even though the atmosphere made you feel at ease and you kinda already knew they were just giving you shit, but it still felt good to hear him say it!

 You smiled back at him, almost getting lost for a moment as he held your gaze in the palm of his hands…”Also I mean this all seems pretty spot on..especially you reblogging all these text post about Jungkook being a bratty sub..” Taehyung teased letting his eyes cut over to Kook’s but he did NOT seem amused, actually he was quiet this whole time. Kinda had you wondering if he was feeling uncomfortable..or upset..you weren’t sure you just knew something didn’t seem right with him. The boys seemed to just shoe it off but you didn’t like it..”So….I have a question…how do you go from I guess…having all those..”Fantasies”.. to just suddenly shutting those thoughts off? I mean granted were all friends now..so it would probably be hard for you to separate the two if the oppert-” The look on your face made Yoongi stop talking altogether “What do you mean it would be hard to seperate the two? Are you assuming women can’t just fuck for the sake of pleasure? Have you never heard of one and done…or What? Are you assuming your dicks so good that I’ll turn into a sasaeng tumblr and not be able to be your friend anymore?” Cocking your head to the side as you kicked your brow up..voice dripping in sass..and you heard all the other boys let out a snort. You personally weren’t able to catch all there reactions but let’s just say even though they didn’t expect you to say that they were impressed that you did. The fact that you didn’t seem like you were intimated by the sudden change of pace as far as the conversation was concerned, but hey..you’re all adults right? Clearly your statement caught Yoongi off guard as he as actually speechless. His eyes were challenging you though …that’s for damn sure,it  felt like his eyes were fucking you right there..head leaning to the side slightly, his gaze becoming more of a smolder..you started a fire with this one. Letting his tongue dance along his bottom lip as his finger..traced the rim of his glass. Clearing his throat before responding “Well I mean from these post it seems like your more curious as to what my tongue can do as opposed to my dick but hey..”  Leaning back slightly your face clearly reflecting that you were a little taken aback, but also impressed by his response..because again none of you ever had these types of conversations together before . I mean let’s get real they’re grown ass man but of course this isn’t a side of the boys the world got to see. IDOL world is completely different, more…tamed I guess you could say. They don’t talk about sex and girls the way some American artist can so freely, so this was brand new territory and you loved it.. ..His tone was so coy and laxed that all you could do was nod in agreeance the look on your face said “Touche”  Not sure if it was the liquid courage or if this was just the way they were behind closed doors but you had no complaints. There was something really sexy, knowing that it appears some of the fantsities you as fans think the boys are into might be true. The fact that they can be one way to world..and completely different behind closed doors had your skin on fire. I mean of course you see hints of it on stage and let your mind wander else were but fuck..it’s a whole other experience hearing it first hand, your panties were done for at this point.

 You watched the other boys go completely wide eyed at Yoongi’s comment…not surprised but surprised he took it there. Especially Namjoon as he glanced back at him “Oh please don’t even start bra master “ sticking out your tongue playfully as you successfully made him cringe at the reference .Out of habit,the conversation started breaking out in their native tongue briefly before they caught themselves. Switching back to English seamlessly  so you didn’t feel awkward… “Hyung I still Believe you just said that out loud! Damn I guess you’re officially the 8th member of BTS, because we don’t talk like this around anybody..but each other..” Jimin’s  eyes met yours smiling up at him, feeling pretty damn, good because one that means they were genuinely comfortable with you, and two, I mean fuck what girl wouldn’t love to talk kink fantasys  with the people there actually about. Especially because they kinda seem to be into it, I mean shit if that’s not something, to get yourself off to at night then I don’t know what is! Yet, through all this you couldn’t help but still glance back over at Jungkook . He was just so removed while the rest of you were having a ball, and that’s just not like him! “Hey I think I’m gonna go lay down..I just got really tired for some reason….” His eyes met Namjoons before he excused himself…”Night Kookie…” glancing over at him because it was clear he want going to speak..”Night…” Scrunching in your nose at how dry that response was ….

 You 10:30pm : Okay…what the fucks your deal????

PART 1 

BTW- I will also note this in part 1, as well as it’s kinda discussed at the end of part 1. These “Sessions” will not be rushed..in my mind this spans the last couple months of tour so Jan-April. Y/N gets to Tokyo Jan 1st btw, in all honesty in the two week period of her vacation I will probably only have her hook up with 2 of the guys and put a break in between for the others. It will be reference at the end of part 1 “If any other situations come up naturally in the future..and you choose to indulge, that’s completely up to you, but that dose NOT affect our dynamic”

[jancys-blue-bayou]

Jancy weekend getaway. One of them has a surprise/secret.

Hey! Sorry this took so long but it was such a great prompt that it gave me a bunch of different ideas and took awhile to decide which to use for this and which to file away for later. I was thinking of going angsty with a secret but ultimately went with a surprise and fluff. Also this somehow became kind of long. (P.S. to you other lovelies who’s sent in prompts that I haven’t gotten around to yet, I promise I’ll get to ‘em soon!)

Also on Ao3 and FFNet

She’s just about had it with everything when she crosses the parking lot on her lunch break. Study-wise senior year has been going good, great even. She just heard back from Columbia last week. She was in. She was beyond excited about that. But she was so damn tired of Hawkins. She was tired of still seeing “SLUT” etched on her locker or hearing the same sentiment whispered in the hall. She was tired of sleazy guys coming with gross propositions. She was tired of her parents either fighting or not speaking to each other at all. She was just tired of being in this tiny claustrophobic town.

But then there’s him, he’s sitting on the hood of his car and looks at her with that small crooked smile that she knows is just for her. She can’t help but smile at him, but only for a second. He’s the absolute best thing about this town and when they’re together everything else seemed to melt away. But in the back of her mind she worried that their time together might be limited. Not that they’d ever break up. At least she knew she couldn’t do that, distance be damned.

“Hey,” she greets and pecks his lips.

“Hey, you okay?” He asks as she settles next to him on the hood and gets out her lunch.

She sighs and unwraps her sandwich.

“I’m just tired of everyone in there,” she nods at the school building, “and everyone at home and of the whole damn town. Sometimes I feel like I just want to get away.”

“I understand,” he answers and she knows that he genuinely does. “I feel that way too,” he adds.

She nods and they eat in silence for a minute.

“Do you want to get out of here?” He suddenly asks.

“You mean skip?” She asks. A tempting idea. It’s Friday, only a couple of classes left and none of them that important.

“Yeah. And just go. Out of town, I mean. For the weekend. If you want?”

She looks at him, surprised. Now that’s a tempting idea.

“Yes.”

She leans over and kisses him. Jumping of the hood they get inside his car, finishing their sandwiches on the drive to his house. No reason to waste time.

“You’re okay with leaving Will and your mom?” She asks cautiously.

“Will’s gonna be at a sleepover at your place all weekend. And mom will be fine.”

“Alright.”

She follows him inside as he throws some clothes and mix tapes into a bag and leaves a note for his mom before they go to her house.

Her mom is home so they try to be quiet and sneak in. They make it upstairs without a hitch where she quickly packs a bag and grab all her savings to use as gas money but on their way out her mother hears them and appears in the doorway from the kitchen. Glass of wine in her hand as usual, even though it’s just barely past noon.

“Nancy? Jonathan! What are you doing here?”

“Uh, half-day at school mom, didn’t I mention? Teachers conference,” she lies quickly and effortlessly.

“Oh. Where are you going?” Her mother asks, spying the bag in her hand.

“It’s Allie’s birthday and she wanted to celebrate with another girls night for old times sake y’know? So slumber party and all. I’ll probably be back on Sunday,” she continues to spin the yarn.

“I’m giving her a ride over there before I start my shift,” Jonathan quickly tacks on.

“Oh, okay. Well, wish Allie a happy birthday from me then.”

“Will do!”

“Nice to see you, Jonathan.”

“You too, Mrs. Wheeler.”

“Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with me. You’re becoming too good at lying,” she jokes as he starts the car.

“Could never spend too much time with you.”

“Same,” she smiles shyly at him.

Jonathan puts in a mix tape and The Kinks stream out at a low volume.

“Where to?” He asks.

“I don’t know,” she realizes. “Any ideas?”

“No.”

They both burst out laughing.

“Let’s just drive,” she decides.

“Any particular direction?”

“Hang on,” she starts and digs out a coin. “Heads mean we go vertical, tails mean horizontal,” she says before flipping it. “Tails, so horizontal it is. Okay, now heads is east, tails is west,” she decides before flipping the coin again. “Heads. So, let’s go east?”

“Sure.”

“We’ll stop where we want to.”

He nods.

“Going to see Murray was the first time I was out of state,” he says almost like a confession. She just shrugs.

“I’ve been to Chicago, Niagara Falls, Mount Rushmore and the Grand Canyon. And to our aunt in Minnesota. Mostly remember fighting with Mike in the back of the car though.”

They get on the interstate and just head east with no particular destination in mind. They’re not even out of Indiana before she kicks off her Converse and puts her feet up on the dashboard.

“This was a great idea.”

They’ve just crossed into Ohio when they make their first stop, at a service station on the outskirts of some small town in the middle of nowhere. The car needs gas and she needs to pee. Walking out of the bathroom and meeting Jonathan by the counter where he’s paying for the gas she asks the old man behind the counter if they could possibly look at a roadmap. He digs out an old one from the seventies and gives it to her for a nickel.

“Where are you kids headed?”

“Don’t know yet.”

“Seeing where the wind takes you, eh? I like that.”

“Yeah. Thanks for this, have a nice day!”

“You too!”

They get back inside the car and he pulls out of the gas station. She studies the map.

“Okay so we’re here… it’s not that far to Dayton actually, but I figure we just keep following the interstate for awhile, if you’re not desperate to see Dayton?”

“I am not, no.”

“Alright, then just follow the signs leading to Columbus.”

“You want to see Columbus?”

“I don’t think so but it’s in the right direction.”

“Heroes, Space Oddity, Cat People, Changes and Let’s Dance,” she lists off.

“What? You can’t possibly have Let’s Dance in your top five Bowie songs?!” He protests.

“Why not?”

“Ahead of Starman? Or Life On Mars? Or Ashes to Ashes? Or Station to Station? Or Rebel Rebel? Or The Man Who Sold the World? Or Sound and Vision? Or-”

“Yes,” she interrupts.

“But it’s just so… I’m not saying it’s not a good song but ugh, it’s so annoying that everybody knows that song but ignore all the good stuff from before.”

“You’re just being pretentious,” she teases.

“You’re a slave to the pop charts,” he retaliates.

“So how are you liking Ohio?” She asks.

“I don’t know, feels kind of the same as Indiana.”

“I agree. Wanna check out Pennsylvania instead?”

“Sure,” he answers and blows through Columbus while America by Simon and Garfunkel plays on the latest mix tape he put in.

They follow I-70 and cut through northern West Virginia before crossing into Pennsylvania, stopping at a diner outside of Pittsburgh in the evening. They settle in a booth in the half-empty diner and order two cheeseburgers.

“Thanks. Do you know any cheap motels around here?” She ask the waitress when they get their food.

“There’s one a couple of miles further down the road. Where are you kids headed?”

“Nowhere in particular.”

“Huh. Been driving long?”

“From Indiana.”

“Long way from home. Well, enjoy your meal.”

“Thanks.”

“So, Pittsburgh,” she begins, taking a bite of her burger. “Steel City.”

“Birthplace of Andy Warhol.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Weird place to end up but I figure we sleep here tonight and tomorrow we can go… where do you want to go?”

“Wherever you want to go.”

“What do you say we head for the border?” She suggests, taking out the roadmap and putting it down on the table. Tracing the map with a french fry she continues. “See the Niagara Falls or something. I was just six when we went there but I remember it was beautiful. But it’s just over 200 miles from here to Buffalo. What do you think?”

“Love it. Picturesque.”

“Yeah.”

After eating in silence for a minute Jonathan pipes up.

“I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

He puts down his burger and fiddles with his hands. She think she can read him pretty good by now. It doesn’t seem as much nervousness as excitement.

“I got in to NYU. Full scholarship.”

“You got in?!” Her voice gets so loud other customers turn their heads. “That’s amazing!” She leans over and kisses him, almost knocking over her Coke in the process. She then quickly gets out of her booth and throws herself down next to him in his and lock her arms around his neck and her eyes with his.

“You’ve just been sitting on that the whole day?!”

“I found out yesterday, I was going to tell you at lunch but you were having a rough day and needed to get out of town, so.”

“You’re unbelievable,” she shakes her head. “I’m so proud of you! Full scholarship?”

“Yeah, they loved my portfolio.”

“I love you. We’ll be in the same city!”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll be able to see each other all the time… we can share an apartment!”

“Do you want to?” He asks cautiously.

“Do you want to?” She challenges.

“Yes,” they answer at the same time. She kisses him again.

“We should go to New York now!”

“We don’t have enough gas or money,” he notes, bringing her back down to earth.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she admits. Then whispers in his ear: “Let’s go to the motel instead.”

Jonathan gives her that look. She drags him out of the booth and waves to the waitress while Jonathan throws down some crumpled bills on the table before grabbing her hand as they make their way out the door.

“Do you want a single or a double?” The tired lady at the front desk asks without looking up from her crossword puzzle.

“Single,” they answer at the same time.

“Deja vu,” she remarks as they walk down the corridor to their room.

As soon as they get inside the room they’re all over each other. She’s not proud of the little whimper she let’s out as his lips crash into hers and his arms go around her back, pressing her closer to him, but she also can’t help it. And she definitely can’t help the noise she makes when he picks her up, enabling her to hook her legs around his waist as he carries her to the bed.

“I love you,” she says and removes her shirt before kissing him again. She loves everything about him. She loves him on top of her right now, she loves him under her at other times. She loves being with him in Hawkins, she loves being with in this crummy motel room. She loves the idea of being with him in New York.

“I love you,” he reciprocates the sentiment and repeats it over and over as his kisses move from her lips down to her neck and then down and down and down and oh.

“Good morning”, she yawns as she wakes up in his arms.

“Very,” he answers.

She untangles herself from him slightly to stretch out. Her body was a bit sore from last night. The best kind of sore.

“Still wanna go to the Niagara Falls?” He asks.

“Yeah. Do you?”

“Yeah.”

“We should probably get a move on then.”

She sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed. Spotting his t-shirt from last night that apparently landed here after she threw it off him, she pulls it over her head and stands up. It’s completely oversized on her of course, reaching almost to her knees. She goes to the window and moves the curtains.

“Lovely view,” she notes as she looks out at the back of the motel and the brick wall of the rundown building next to it.

“Yeah,” he answers from the bed. The sound of a shutter makes her turn her head around and catch him lowering his camera.

“Jonathan,” she whines but not seriously. She knows it’s a photo for their eyes only. “Get up.”

“What do you think?” She asks him when he finally walks up next to her and takes her hand after walking a few steps back and snapping photographs of her and the waterfalls. She loves that he loves taking her picture.

“Beautiful.”

“Yeah. I like it more this time around. I kind of wanna see everything with you.”

He presses a kiss to her temple.

“So, have you used up your roll already?” She asks.

“Not quite,” he answers.

“Good. Give it to me,” she turns and faces him, beckoning for his camera.

“Why?”

“Just give it. I want one with you in it too.”

He hands it over and she takes the camera in one hand and his hand again in the other. She walks over to the family of four that’s been standing off to their right admiring the falls.

“Hi, excuse me, but would you mind taking our picture?” She asks.

“Of course,” the man who looks to be in his forties answers while his wife smiles and tries to keep watch over their little kids.

She gives him Jonathan’s camera. Jonathan smiles shyly and puts an arm around her as she leans into him and the friendly man takes their photo with the majestic waterfalls in the background.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Actually, would you mind taking our picture aswell?” The man asks and takes out his own camera after he’s given back Jonathan’s.

“Sure,” Jonathan answers and snaps off several in a quick succession of the family posing happily.

“Thanks.”

“You’re a cute couple, where are you from?” The wife asks.

“Indiana,” she answers.

“Wow, long way from home then. We just made the trip up for the day, from New York.”

“We’re headed there this fall,” she smiles. “For college.”

“Oh how fun! Both of you? What will you be studying?”

“Journalism at Columbia. And he just got a scholarship to NYU, for photography.”

“Wow, how lucky were we to get our picture taken by you then!”

She nods giddily in agreement while Jonathan just shyly mumbles an answer. They say goodbye to the nice family and heads back to the car.

They drive back along the coast of Lake Erie. Stopping in the town of Erie for food she then dares him to go skinny dipping with her out on Presque Isle. The water’s freezing since it’s only spring. She playfully pouts when he teases her for darting out of the water first. She steals another of his t-shirts and smiles contently when he wraps his flannel around her aswell when they’re back in the car to warm up.

They find another cheap motel for the night before continuing the journey back home on Sunday.

“We should go west in the summer,” she suggests as they pass the border back into Indiana.

“I’ve never seen the ocean,” he nods.

“Me neither.”

It’s evening by the time he pulls up to the curb outside her house.

“Thank you for this.”

“It-”

“Was your idea and it was awesome. I could go anywhere with you, even just a crummy motel room in a town as useless as this one.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Pick you up tomorrow?”

“Yes please.”

[wellyfullofale]

Meeting Hazel - Part Two

Word Count: 3,199

AO3 link here

Part One here

For my wonderful wife @vckaarrob, and everyone else who requested a follow up to the Aaron/Hazel drabble I did a while back

Aaron felt a little apprehensive as they approached the Mill, although he didn’t really know why.

Something about his past colliding with his present, most likely.

It made him a little uncomfortable; anxious

Hazel had managed to fill the air between them with inane conversation on their walk from the graveyard, and Aaron couldn't deny he was grateful for once for her ability to chatter away so effortlessly. He'd found it quite grating, once upon a time - when he'd just wanted to spend some time alone with Jackson and she'd insisted on hanging around, unable to gauge when she was no longer welcome - but he welcomed it now. He quite liked it actually, hearing all about what she'd been up to in the years since he'd last seen her. She'd been travelling, and had spent some time working at an art college in London, until she'd met a guy and moved up to Manchester where she now lived.

She was halfway through explaining to Aaron all about her new love of street art after discovering how much of it was dotted around Manchester when they reached the top of the driveway to the Mill.

"Down here," Aaron told her as he pointed down the path to their home. He looked up at Hazel, who raised her eyebrows and looked over at him, suitably impressed and – if he could believe it would be possible – a little lost for words.

"What? I told you I was living at the Mill," he retorted casually, despite being unable to ignore the little drop of pride he felt at the look she was giving him. "Well, I forgot which one the Mill was," she smiled back at him, waving her arms to dismiss her lack of memory. "And I thought to myself it was this one, but I said to myself Hazel, that place is huge and he's only a mechanic you'll have got your quaint Emmerdale cottages confused." He narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brow, struggling to keep up with her stream of consciousness.  "But I was right, wasn’t I?” she beamed back at him. “Oh, Aaron I'm so proud of you, you must be doing well to afford to buy this place." She reached out and squeezed his arm, and he couldn't help the smile that played out over his face, even if it was one-sided. "Is it your fella?" she asked, oblivious to the slight insult. "Has he got a bit of cash has he? As well as being gorgeous?" Aaron sighed, shaking his head. He didn't really want to go into the specifics of how he'd managed to afford the place - that was a whole conversation for another day – so he decided to give her a half truth and hope she’d leave it at that. "Just...come into some inheritance," he murmured as he approached the front door and pulled his keys from his pocket. Her face paled and a look of horror washed over her. "Oh my god. Is it Chas? Is she o -" "She's fine," Aaron interrupted her, assuring her before she got too carried away with herself, not realising what the mention of inheritance would cause her to assume. "Oh, thank god," she let out the breath she’d been holding along with what seemed like genuine relief, bringing her palm to her chest as if to steady her heart rate. They might have had a weird relationship, but Hazel knew better than most what Aaron had been through, and he knew she'd not want him to have endured any more loss than he already had done. He took out his key and unlocked the porch door, walking in first before gesturing to welcome her into the corridor.

“So was it your Dad?” Hazel asked, nosy as ever. “Who passed?”

Aaron didn’t like referring to him as that – made his cheek twitch at the sound of the word – but he wanted to change the subject so he nodded and hoped she’d drop the subject.

She didn’t.

This was Hazel, after all, and Aaron seemed to have forgotten her knack for inadvertently sticking her foot in it.

“That explains the arrival of the sister,” she smirked, appearing pleased with herself for working it out. “Oh, Aaron, it’s lovely that you’ve taken her in when she’s grieving – ”

“Just, don’t mention him, yeah?” Aaron stopped her in her tracks, needing her to drop the mention of him before she came into contact with Liv.

Hazel went wide eyed and pulled her finger and thumb together in the corner of her mouth, swiping them across her lips as if to zip her mouth shut.

“Liv – my sister – she doesn’t need reminding about it right now,” he added the half-truth, well aware it was himself who didn’t need reminding more than anyone.

He waited for her to nod, before jangling his keys and opening up their front door.

“Oh my word, Aaron,” she marvelled as she stepped inside and let her eyes travel around the expanse of the room – taking in how it looked so well-put-together in a way that she’d never expect from the Aaron she knew – and gravitating towards the mantelpiece, littered with photo frames of happy memories and smiling faces.

“Blimey, even you’re smiling in this one, Aaron,” she noted with a chuckle, picking up the frame and thrusting it in Aaron’s face.

He raised his eyebrows and gave her a half smile as he looked at the photo.

It still made his heart skip a beat, even now.

“Wedding day,” he added, by way of explanation. “Well, the first one, anyway.”

She frowned and gave Aaron that look that told him she needed more of that story.

He winced, unsure whether he really wanted to rake back over the times that hadn’t been perfect for himself and Robert; why they’d needed two wedding days in the end.

There was a part of him that only wanted her to know his successes, for some reason.

He heard footsteps down the metal staircase, and welcomed the distraction of Robert’s arrival to put her off course.

“Ooh, hello,” she smiled shamelessly as Robert made his way to the bottom step. “You must be Robert,” she continued, shuffling her way past the furniture to make her way towards Robert.

Aaron laughed as he saw his husband’s outstretched hand, well aware that Hazel would swoop in straight for the hug.

He was right, and he bit on his lip and let out a laugh at Robert’s alarmed expression over her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him, his arms outstretched to his sides, unsure where to place themselves.

“Hazel Rhodes, you can call me Hazel,” she beamed as she finally pulled away from him, holding onto his elbows as she held him at arm’s length to inspect him properly. “Well, I thought you looked good on that photo, but it doesn’t do you justice, does it? Haven’t you done well, Aaron.”

Robert raised his eyebrows and looked over to his husband, unable to stop the smile from spreading over his face.

“Well, thank – ”

“Aaron said you were a looker,” she continued, interrupting him, “of course he said not to let you hear me say it, but I couldn’t stop myself, although he says you’ve got a bit of an ego.”

Robert laughed in Aaron’s direction.

“Oh, he does, does he?” he teased, taking the opportunity to wriggle out of Hazel’s grip on his elbows as Aaron approached them.

“She’s making it up,” Aaron rolled his eyes as he leant in and placed a chaste kiss against his husband’s lips.

Hazel looked on, beaming smile taking over her face, before she noticed Aaron’s glare towards her and snapped herself out of it, making her way to the other side of the room to explore a little further.

“Good day?” Aaron asked his husband quietly, slipping into the usual routine.

“Fine, you?” Robert replied, almost at a whisper as he eyed Hazel manoeuvring around their front room, intrigued by their pool ball feature on the wall. “I’ve been thinking about you,” he added, concern seeping from his expression as he locked eyes with Aaron.

He offered his husband a grateful smile in return; still wasn’t sure how he’d quite got this lucky, to be able to know this side of Robert so familiarly.

“She’s helped, actually,” Aaron admitted, looking towards Hazel as she glanced back over to him. “In her own…Hazel way.”

“I’m guessing your Robert’s the interior designer, Aaron,” she called over, gingerly trying to work out the lighting contraption in the fire place before giving up and moving back to the photographs.

“How did you guess?” he replied sarcastically with another roll of his eyes.

“Well, you were never into making things look nice, were you?” she carried on, oblivious to his sarcasm as she flicked through a pile of letters kept in a letter rack on the mantelpiece.

“Wow, stained glass, too,” she marvelled as she ran a hand over the front door. “Definitely not your work, Aaron, I would put money on it.”

“Yeah, well, Robert did most of the decorating when I was – ” in prison – “away.”

No harm in keeping those particular details hidden, was there?

Not when she seemed so impressed with everything else Aaron had got right since she’d left.

“Drink, anyone?” Robert swiftly changed the subject, as aware of his husbands almost confession as he was of his growing unease at this stranger rifling through his worldly possessions without inhibition.

“You read my mind,” Hazel tore herself away from prying to give Robert her full attention. “Where’s this booze fridge Aaron’s told me about?”

“Right this way,” Robert encouraged her, waiting for her to follow him into the kitchen and sighing with a modicum of relief that she’d stopped rifling through his stuff.

“Tell me you’ve got something better than the lager he’s just made me drink,” she pleaded as Robert gestured towards their drinks fridge, aware of the way her eyes lit up as she saw it.

“Nowt wrong with that lager,” Aaron grumbled as he made his way into the kitchen behind them.

“You drink it then,” Hazel teased, before pulling out a bottle of wine and thrusting it in Robert’s chest. “This one’ll do. Where are your glasses?”

Robert widened his eyes, still a little perturbed at her forthrightness.

Aaron smiled to himself, aware of all the parts of Hazel’s personality that would be rubbing up Robert the wrong way.

“Above the sink,” Aaron informed her.

She opened up every cabinet door anyway, before finally producing two wine glasses and placing them onto the worktop next to Robert.

He filled them obligingly, before beckoning Hazel back to the front room, joining Aaron as they sat on the sofas and waited for tea to cook.

Hazel filled the space with an endless stream of questions, eager to know how they’d met, and who had proposed, and what the wedding had been like.

Robert did most of the talking, Aaron grateful that he managed to give the rose-tinted account of their history and to keep alive this strange sense of pride that Hazel seemed to beam with on hearing how well he was doing.

It was the version of their story that was suitable for small talk and dinner guests.

It was the version without manslaughter, kidnap, prison and unwanted pregnancies.

The version Aaron needed reminding of, on today of all days; Robert filling in their love story with little details that made Aaron’s heart race, no matter how many times he heard them.

“We couldn’t stay away from each other.”

“Of course I chose him.”

“I realised he’s the only person who’s ever made me truly happy.”

“I knew I couldn’t live without him.”

Each new line got Robert a flicker of Aaron’s gaze in his direction, and a small smile playing across his lips, and more than likely a taste of Aaron’s gratitude later on, as soon as they’re alone again.

Hazel lapped it all up, cooing in all the appropriate moments, and Robert had her eating out of the palm of his hand.

Liv appeared briefly at one point – frowning in confusion at the sight of the strange woman sitting on her couch – before Aaron introduced her and Liv offered nothing more than the slightest flicker of recognition at the name Jackson.

She plated herself up a portion of the dinner and took herself off to her room after offering an awkward Hi in Hazel’s direction.

“She’s your sister, all right,” Hazel commented, nodding playfully towards Aaron.

He felt compelled to apologise on Liv’s behalf, but he couldn’t help but find himself agreeing with Hazel, well aware it was exactly what he would have done at having found himself in that situation at Liv’s age.

“You’re not wrong,” Robert agreed with her, breathing out a laugh.

They sat and ate dinner, Robert and Aaron able to make it through barely saying a word as Hazel managed to chatter away, telling tales about her travels and slipping in snapshots of memories of the life she lived in the village.

Snapshots of her and Jackson, before everything happened.

Snapshots of her time with Aaron and Jackson, in the beginning, and in the end.

Robert noticed every uncomfortable moment flicker over Aaron’s expression, and he brushed his foot up against Aaron’s calf under the table each time, Aaron offering a gentle smile in recognition of his husband’s strong and silent support.

Aaron found himself wondering how he ever got so lucky.

He wondered whether the version of himself that Jackson knew could have ever dreamed of finding what he had now, with Robert.

He’d probably barely recognise himself, he mused.

::

Two bottles of wine and an overstayed welcome later, Hazel finally made tracks to leave.

Robert made his excuses, retreating back into the kitchen under the guise of washing up as he let Aaron walk her back up to the village for her taxi.

“Bye, Robert. Lovely to meet you,” she called out as she pulled on her boots and threw her coat around her shoulders.

“You too,” he called out back to her. “Safe trip home.”

“Just look after this one, he’s not as strong as he looks,” she smiled as she made her way out of the door.

Aaron frowned, about to enter a protest when Robert replied to her.

“He’s the strongest man I know, Hazel.”

Aaron’s insides melted, and he swallowed down and bit at his lip to stop the smile from spreading.

“Blimey, he’s a proper Prince Charming, ain’t he?” Hazel joked as Aaron manoeuvred her out of the flat and down the corridor.

“Wouldn’t go that far,” Aaron huffed with a hint of amusement.

They walked in an unfamiliar but amiable silence into the village, almost as if they’d said all they could say to one another, and that the rest of it needed to remain unspoken.

They’d always have a connection, Aaron and Hazel – would always have been through what they went through together – and it gave them a deeper level of understanding between them that didn’t need words to express it.

It was in the silence that the most was said, sometimes.

“Taxi’s here,” Aaron noted, pointing across to the car parked up with its headlights on.

Aaron spotted Finn waiting in the taxi parked up outside the pub, and felt a slight wave of relief that it was him and not Ross who had the pleasure of Hazel’s company all the way into Hotten.

He faltered as Hazel grabbed him and pulled him into a hug – hesitant at first, before he let himself relax into it, aware that she was squeezing him a little tighter and as if she never wanted to let go.

He knew why she was doing it.

He knew it made her feel closer to Jackson, somehow.

He gave into it, and squeezed her back a little, too.

He saw Jackson’s face as he shut his eyes, and he clenched his teeth together as that flash of pain he’d gotten so good at supressing coursed through him once again.

It was rare for him to feel it, these days – now that he had everything; now that he was finally happy. But it was still there. It never left him.

It never would.

He pulled away, needing release from it.

He noticed the track of a tear down Hazel’s face.

“It’s been good,” Aaron admitted, his words a little reluctant in his usual way. “Seeing you, today, it…I dunno, it helped, I guess.”

Hazel nodded back at him, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

“Yeah,” she agreed, with a smile full of melancholy. “Yeah, it helped me too.”

Aaron rubbed his face with his hands, aware of the tickle of a tear as it passed down his cheek.

“You better get going,” he nodded over at the taxi. “These cabs don’t like waiting, y’know.”

Hazel smiled back at him.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear it, knowing you,” she started, protesting at Aaron’s rolling eyes as he realised what was coming. “Oi, look at me,” she pleaded with a smile, repeating it until Aaron relented and met her eyes with his. “I’m really happy for you, Aaron. I can tell you’re happy, and you’re settled, and you’ve got a family who love you. You deserve it, Aaron, you really do – ”

“Shut up,” he muttered under his breath; embarrassed.

“No, listen,” she pleaded back at him. “You do deserve it, Aaron. I’ll never forget what you did for me, and for my son.  All I want for you – and all Jackson would want for you – is for you to be happy, and for you to find someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved. And your Robert,” she widened her eyes as the smile grew over her face, “well, he’s enough to keep anyone happy, I’d imagine, ego or not.”

Aaron couldn’t help but smile, despite his eye roll.

“Look after yourself, Aaron,” she urged him, squeezing at his arms as she pulled herself away. “It’s all he would have wanted.”

Aaron nodded.

“You too, Hazel.”

He watched her smile, then turn to make her way towards the taxi, waiting for Finn to pull away and giving her a quick wave before making his way home.

Robert was waiting for him, perched on the edge of the sofa.

He stood up as soon as Aaron made his way back through the door, saying nothing as he walked towards his husband, wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and pulled him in close.

Aaron let himself be held; let himself feel the safety of his husband’s embrace as his love encircled him; let himself wrap his own arms around Robert’s waist, fingers grabbing onto the material of his shirt and squeezing with everything he had.

“Thank you,” he whispered into Robert’s chest as they swayed together gently.

Robert kissed against his forehead.

“I’m always here, you know,” he whispered the words into Aaron’s skin.

Aaron nuzzled further into the hug, then pressed a kiss against the underside of Robert’s jaw.

“I know.”

[themousai]

Q+A: LAULIA

Your new single ‘13/7’ just got released ahead of ‘Outcast Kids’ which luckily, we only have to wait until this Friday to hear when it’s officially available as a double A side vinyl through Rose Coloured Records. How are you feeling about having these songs out in the world? We couldn’t be more excited really. 13/7 was the first track that for us snowballed very quickly, Ollie sent me over a demo and I was instantly inspired, I finished writing my part that evening and ever since then we’ve been raring to get it out. If it were that simple, we would have released it that day if we could. We just wanted people to hear it. So now, having been sat on these tracks for a while whilst we organised promo, videos etc, it’s been like dangling sweets in front of a kid and telling them not to eat it. It’s been hard to keep things all to ourselves, so finally releasing the single is gonna definitely be a buzz for sure.

What made you put ‘13/7’ out first? 13/7 isn’t actually officially out yet, we just released it on Soundcloud for people to get a sneak preview of whats to come. This is purely because for us, we felt the music speaks for itself, and by giving people a preview of it, we hoped that that’d be all they’d need to feel the same excitement we do. It’s a powerful song, and I just think it says it all really. I don’t think we wanted any gimmicks or PR stunts, it was more just about sharing a track that we were insanely proud of and hoping that listeners would connect to it, and want to be a part of the release.

Do the two tracks have a similar idea or story behind them? Both tracks are about toxic relationships, but coming from very different angles. 13/7 is about monotony and habit within our relationships. We often feel it’s our responsibility to take care of the people we care about, but sometimes their self-destructive, co-dependent habits can really take a toll on our lives. 13/7 is about coming to terms with the fact that it is not our job to try and fix somebody who isn’t interested in fixing themselves, and that sometimes we must accept that taking care of ourselves is more important. This may mean stepping back or walking away from a relationship that we care about, but at times this is the best decision we could make for ourselves. / Outcast Kids relates to this, it’s a narrative about a very self-destructive & codependent relationship. The bond these 2 people share is extremely honest, and pure. The pair are inseparable, bound by their flaws. They both have extremely self destructive tendencies, but find comfort in knowing that the other is doing the same. It almost gives them reassurance and helps them justify the negative choices they are making. Essentially, the relationship is doomed with this dynamic as they are constantly feeding off each other, but being the destructive people they are - that’s what they love about it. 

What do you hope people feel when listening to these new songs? For me, music is about connection. These tracks are an expression of how we feel, musically and lyrically, and so however people choose to see themselves in these songs is up to them. If they connect with the stories and the lyrics, or just vibe with the music and wanna jam out with us, that’s all we want. For people to connect and feel whatever they choose to. Music is so subjective, and people enjoy listening to music in different ways. We don’t want anyone to feel 1 particular thing, but to feel a part of something and see themselves in what we’re creating. Our listeners are as much of a part of our music as we are. Having signed to Rose Coloured Records for the release of the Double A Side Vinyl, can you tell us a little about how this experience has gone compared to when you independently released your ‘Burning Out’ 7″ earlier this year? Andy from Rose Coloured Records has always been a good friend, and supporter of the band. We love what he’s doing for new bands/artists and always wanted to work together with him on a release. Joining forces to make 13/7 / Outcast Kids a reality felt like the right step forwards for us, we love working with new people and this whole experience has been something totally different from what we’re used to. It’s nice to have some guidance, and whilst we’ve still maintained control of our creative output, having some support with the PR, planning and distribution side of things has made a huge difference. We’re all extremely grateful to Andy for his hard work and support, as a genuine music fan, his intentions are nothing but what you’d want from a label. We’re lucky to have him on our side.

Do you write more often from a third person perspective or from personal experience? Why do you think you lean more towards one than the other? I don’t usually write with an intention, my writing is almost always an expression of my emotions. I often feel a certain way, or have experienced something that’s left a sour taste, and writing is my way of processing and dealing with it. There’s nothing more therapeutic than shouting about how you feel from the top of your lungs, or turning pain into something beautiful. There are times though, when my mind goes into overdrive, and I get inspiration purely from my imagination. Stories, ideas or things I have witnessed turn into narratives and I love running with those ideas, but I would never confine myself to writing a particular way or about a certain topic, it’s an expression and I think containing that achieves the exact opposite of what it’s meant to.

What are your musical influences like? Do you each bring very different ideas to the table when writing or are you quite similar in this aspect? We all take inspiration from different music, having been shaped by different bands/artists as we’ve developed our personal love for music, this is why our songwriting process is so interesting - we draw inspiration from different genres and styles and sorta merge it to create our own. Of course we have mutual loves, and our inspirations cross over a lot (I mean, that’s why we’re in a band together), but we’re all very individual in what drives us, and that’s where I think our sound comes from. 

You were included in Blood Records ‘Girls Against’ compilation last year in the great company of Courtney Barnett, Dream Wife, PINS and many more - how did you feel when you found out about that? Do you think it helped put your music out to a wider range of listeners? It was crazy, especially since the opportunity came to us so early on, we’d barely been a band for longer than a few months so it was very surreal. Being a part of a record alongside bands/artists that we all admired was like a massive wake up call, it sorta gave us an insight into what we could achieve with this band and the potential that it had. Knowing that our music could exist alongside names like that, I think was the catalyst for us, we just wanted to go full speed ahead from that point on. It also sorta laid some groundwork for us, we were introduced to fans of the exact kind of music we were looking to produce, whilst supporting a cause that we so heavily believed in, so yeah it was a total blessing - we couldn’t be more grateful. 

Ahead of your release show in London, what should we be expecting from your live set? Performing live is easily my favourite part about being in this band. The stage is our home, and we feel comfiest up there. It gives us the chance to fully immerse ourselves in what we’re creating, and there’s no other feeling like it. Our set is filled with highs and lows, expect ethereal moments of emptiness, followed by immense soundscapes, grungy riffs and lots of throwing ourselves about & hair flicking haha. 

Lastly, what does LAULIA have in the works for the future? The coming months are gonna be pretty crazy for us I think. Once we’ve come out the other end of celebrating this release, we wanna get straight onto working towards another record. The next step for us is putting out an EP, we’d love something that really introduces us to the world and shows everyone what we’re really about as a band. We’re still very new and we’re still kind of shaking the hands of everyone at the moment. The next coming months I think we really want to start breaking the ice within the industry, and with our supporters as well. We want people to know who we are and what were about, and feel a part of that. So plenty of shows, tours, and connecting with people is what we want to work towards. That and getting an EP out are our main focuses. Oh, and Glastonbury of course.

Stream 13/7 / Outcast Kids on Spotify and Apple Music now and be sure to purchase the Double A Side 7″ Vinyl here!

Quick Fire:

The one song I wish I wrote is... Lauren: Hmmm, either ‘Formidable Cool’  by Wolf Alice or ‘No Care’ by Daughter. Ollie: ‘She Changes The Weather’ by Swim Deep. Harry: ‘Jet’ by Wings. Kurt: ‘Electric Feel’ by MGMT.

Three things I can’t live without are... Lauren: Yoga, laughter, and obviously hummus with pitta. Ollie: Garlic, Electroharmonix Memory Man & Rome total war. Kurt: Lucky charms, Dr Pepper, Drums. Harry: Ginger tea, Labradors, Sports Socks.

Phones out, or phones away if you're watching a band live... Lauren: Phones away always, gotta live in the moment. Harry & Kurt: Ditto. Ollie: Depends if they’re good or not.

Three adjectives that describe my life are... Lauren: Hectic, Fulfilling, Vibrant. Ollie: Umami, Comfortable & Accelerating. Harry: Cosy, Wholesome, Exciting.  Kurt: Organised, Busy & Energetic.

If I held a world record it would be for... Lauren: Fastest person to finish a bottle of wine. Ollie: Most words incorrectly spelled in a single message. Harry: Most unimpressed facial expressions made in one day. Kurt: Longest time to answer a quick fire question.. Still waiting.

My first memory of loving music is... Lauren: Dancing to MTV as a 2/3 year old and stealing every dance floor I could no matter where my parents took me. Ollie: Playing ‘Parklife’ on repeat whilst bouncing on my sisters bed at the age of 5. Harry: Listening to style council records in my uncle’s kitchen. Kurt: Trying to play along to the radio on my dads suitcase with sticks that I found.

The song of mine that I am the proudest of is… Lauren: Bloody Knees or 13/7, both for very different reasons. Ollie: Wide Eyes. Harry: Gloe. Kurt: The Collectors.

My favourite venue I've ever played is… Lauren: The Facebar in Reading. Ollie: BLove because I loved playing a huge stage, and my mum came along. Kurt: The Boileroom. Harry: The New Cross Inn.

The ideal environment for me to create music in is… Lauren: Whilst I would love it to be on a scenic beach or waterfall somewhere, it tends to be alone in my bedroom. Kurt: My home studio. Harry: My shed. Ollie: With my pedal board and people I trust.

If I could tour with any two bands, they would be… Lauren: Idles (easily my favourite band to see live), and Cherry Glazerr. Ollie: Pulled Apart by Horses and S club 7. Harry: Gurr and Queens of The Stone Age. Kurt: Marmozets and Foals.  

Follow LAULIA on Social Media!

FACEBOOK | SPOTIFY | TWITTER | INSTAGRAM

Interview by Scarlett Dellow, photo by Fraser H-N

[ethicallysourcedhumanmeat]

Practically Impractical 35

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[Masterpost][AO3]

“You look angry.”  He didn’t mean to actually make her mad, he was pretty sure that was just her morning face with how much they had to do before lunch today but as soon as he’d said it she managed to actually look angrier and he could see where he’d been mistaken. “O-oh, okay Cal, ok, sorry,” he holds up his hands.  “Didn’t mean it I swear.”

Her face softens and she looks tired. “You promised me, you know?  I know this is frustrating but you’ve made your point.”

“Could you elaborate?”  He can’t help the goofy grin on his face, he’s not sure what he did.

“I mean, it’s not like he’s going to figure it out, but just please stop messing with T ok?”

He laughs, “Cal, Babe, Jagi, my messy princess,” she groans and wrinkles her nose, “when have I had a minute to mess with T?  I am up to my neck setting all my security accounts up so all I need to do are maintenance while we’re away, Babe.  I haven’t had a second to mess with Zen or Yoosung let alone hack into the US military.”

“If it’s not you,” she shakes her head, “I mean he thinks he pissed of a clerk, it’s possible I guess.”  He holds out his arms and she falls into them, “I’m sorry Saeyoung, ugh I’m the worst.”

He laughs, “You are like the top ten worst things to ever happen to me.”

She groans and he kisses her hair.  “What time is lunch?”

This was not what he’d had in mind. It made him uncomfortable. Not Calliope and Ms. Kang being friends, he knew they would both respect his boundaries but it seemed they had few boundaries between themselves. He’d spent years molding his assistant into, well not this.

Not the woman standing on a table dancing with his girlfriend. Not that Saeyoung seemed to mind, he observed. Jaehee had recently stopped wearing her glasses, she’d started growing out her hair. He knew Calliope had encouraged her to.

“Even if you’re Dad is suddenly into Jaehee,” Calliope had chided when he’d complained. “He’s not going to seduce my best friend, and even if he tried do you really have such a low of an opinion of Jaehee, to think she’d be into him?”

She’d been right but still this display was not at all to his taste. It didn’t last though and when the song ended the two of them collapse laughing against one another while Saeyoung cheers and Zen looks confused.

“I don’t want to sound, you know,” Yoosung says beside him, “but that was kind of weird right?”

Jumin starts to answer that, yes he also thought that was strange but Yoosung continues.

“Maybe it’s just because it was Jaehee and Callie.”

“Perhaps you should invest more time into people closer to your age,” Jumin suggests instead.

She’s laughing, leaning against her bestfriend and wishing that this was just a regular night. Saeyoung grabs her around the waist and pulls her off the table swinging her in a wide arc and setting her down in time to see Zen awkwardly helping a blushing Jaehee down.

Lunch had turned into a whole afternoon and a bottle of wine had turned into cocktails and then shots, and even Saeyoung was drinking. Jumin had rented out a small restaurant Callie made sure he’d doubled his offer before they left, parting ways with the rest of the RFA she’d shoved her keys at Jaehee and insisted that she go back to the house with Saeren. She and Luciel would be staying with Jumin tonight.

She’d cut straight to Jumin’s shower when they got back, she might shower three more times, just thinking about 14 hours on a plane made her want to never step foot out of the stream of hot water. She breathes deep in the steam and rolls her shoulders, her neck, does her physio stretches. She’d promised Jumin she would wear the brace for the whole day tomorrow, just to ease his mind, but the thought made her cringe. She was almost free.

Jumin’s penthouse is quiet when she finally forces herself out of the shower. She slips into her room and changes into a pair of leggings and a sweater, her uniform Yoosung had teased her. She can hear soft music playing, the music Jumin leaves on for Elizabeth when he’s not home and reaches down to where the fluffy white cat is stretched across her bed and scratches her behind the ears.

Elizabeth makes the funny little noise that Saeyoung calls kitty activation and rolls over onto her back. Callie lays down on the bed next to her. She was even going to miss this cat. Her family was supposed to come here for Christmas this year, they’d been planning is since early summer, and Jumin had even offered to cover their airfare as his gift to Callie.

Despite the hassle of finding someone to cover the homestead for a week, her parents had been disappointed when she’d let them know the plans had changed, and she dreaded having to tell them that she was legally married with zero ceremony.

“Ok, I know, pushy,” she says when Elizabeth puts her paws on Callies face and gently pushes her away. She gives the cat one more belly rub before she pushes herself off the bed and goes to see what Jumin and Saeyoung are doing.

It’s not common for them, and when she’s sees them there in the open floor of the living room she slows her pace and watches. They loved one another, as much as she loved them both, she’d never doubted that, but opportunities for them to be close like this did not happen often, not where she could see them.

Saeyoung’s cheek rests against Jumin’s shoulder, his arms loose around the taller man’s waist, Jumin’s chin resting against the top of Saeyoung’s head, one hand playing gently with his hair, the other draped over his shoulder, they swayed to the soft ambient music that came from speakers all over the penthouse.

She smiles, the sight of them warms her heart, of course they’ll miss one another as much as she’ll miss being the three of them, as much as they appreciate just being two sometimes, being three was their natural state. As awkward and formal as the arrangement had started it had become genuine care very quickly.

She goes to the kitchen and gets a bottle of water from the fridge, she knows they’ve heard her when she slips onto the sofa and stretches out, the way they stiffen slightly knowing they’re being watched, the way Saeyoung tightens his arms around Jumin just a little before letting them drop, the way Jumin buries his nose in Saeyoung’s hair just before they separate.

They smile at her and shuffle around the penthouse for a minute. Jumin pours himself a glass of wine, Saeyoung grabs a soda from the fridge, something kept there just for him. Elizabeth saunters out of the bedroom and jumps into Callie’s lap, Jumin sits down behind where Callie sits in the middle of the plush sofa instead of his usual chair by the window, he pulls his girlfriend and his cat back until she’s leaning with her head rested against the same shoulder that had cradled her husband’s cheek so recently.

Jumin turns on the TV, and they listen to Saeyoung rummaging around the kitchen while they argue over which Holiday movie to watch. It’s not long before Saeyoung swings his legs over the back the couch and lands in Callie’s lap startling the cat. Callie laughs while Jumin scolds him, he just laughs and stretches his legs over the arm of the sofa, his head resting against her stomach.

Elizabeth doesn’t stay gone for long, she leaps up onto Saeyoung this time and stretches herself along his shoulder so that her head also rests on Callie. She purrs loudly when Jumin pauses briefly in his search on a children’s version of A Christmas Carol. Saeyoung and Callie cheer.

“Really, this is for children,” he groans. “I was hoping we could watch Alistair Sims, or the one with Michael Caine as one of the ghosts.”

“Three against one,” Saeyoung laughs.

“Michael Caine is in this though.”

“His co-stars are puppets,” Jumin frowns.

“Muppets!” Saeyoung and Callie correct.

Callie is the first to fall asleep, she makes it to the end of the movie and insists they watch another Muppet Christmas movie, falling fast asleep before the opening credits even end. Jumin attempts to change the channel but both Elizabeth and Saeyoung protest. They discuss moving Callie to the bed but they’re very comfortable in their pile on the sofa.

Saeyoung falls asleep as the second film ends, and Jumin puts on Alistair Sims’ Scrooge. “They’re bad influences,” he mumbles when Elizabeth makes a small sound of protest.

He’s not far behind Saeyoung, falling asleep to the sounds of rattling chains. His last thought a wish that he could be boarding a plane with them tomorrow.

Leaving had been a production. Everyone had met them in the airport, complete with the Paparazzi that followed Jumin waiting, phones and camera’s flashing when they got out of the car. She suspected the incident at the restaurant had spurred this renewed interest and hid her face in Saeyoung’s sweater while Jumin’s security made a barrier between them and the crowd.

She cursed under her breath that she’d let Jumin talk her into wearing the brace for the flight, his peace of mind had been one thing but the reporters yelling accusations at them was a totally different story. She was relieved to see the rest of the RFA, to be ushered as a group through security, to not have to worry about customs until they landed.

Saeren is waiting for them at their gate. Not interested in the long goodbyes. They say their goodbyes, and Callie finds herself trying to find places in carry on for a few small gifts for Max from Yoosung and Jaehee. They gatecheck the boys computers, Callie’s guitar and find their seats.

The flight does not go well. It’s long, Callie hates flying, and Saeren has never flown. They’re four or more hours from landing when Saeren’s nails dig into her arm. Saeyoung is asleep in the aisle seat and she’s in the middle.

He’d been on edge all morning.

“You ok?” She asks, but she knows he’s not. A quick glance at her phone and she knows he probably should have taken his meds somewhere over the Atlantic.

He shakes his head slowly.

She can recognise the signs of disassociating; she suspects he might be verging on the edge of a panic attack. She squeezes his hand. “Try to visualize playing something on your guitar, I’ll see if I can find your pills.”

He breathes in and nods.

Saeyoung wakes up as she’s pushing past him. She’s already on edge, and she knows she has two little pills in her purse if her own anxiety decides to manifest any more. She trips over his feet and he catches her.

“You ok?” He asks.

She laughs, tries to be quiet about it but it comes out as a wheeze. “Which bag is Saeren’s?” She says quietly and Saeyoung instantly turns to his brother. She grabs him by the face. “Which bag?”

He stands up, helps her look. They check all the their carry on, and find nothing. A few people around them have woken up, and Saeyoung has gone with flight attendants to look in the bags they’d checked at the gate.

She slides back in next to Saeren. His breathing his precise, and calculated.

“Hey,” she says. “Do you remember what bag you put them in?”

She can see his fingers twitch, he’s still playing guitar in his head, he doesn’t miss a beat when he turns and looks at her, through her. “Black,” he says, “I think there’s a pokemon keychain Max gave me on it.”

“Shit bud,” she says through her teeth, “I think you checked that one.”

“What?”

“That’s not any of the bags we have right here. Seven is checking the computer bags but I don’t think—”

“Fuck!” His fist slams against the wall and she can see the eyes on them. A flight attendant moves towards them but she puts her hand up and shakes her head. Saeyoung his behind her shaking his head.

Callie pushes her armrest up and slides closer to her brother in law. She slides her hand into his and squeezes. She reaches between her feet with her other hand and pulls her purse into her lap. She fishes around until she finds the bottle Jumin’s doctor had given her. It was supposed to be one pill per flight. “You take these right?”

He looks at the bottle suspiciously for a moment and nods. “You only have two left.”

“I only had two to begin with, for emergencies. Kinda seems like one.”

Saeyoung is still standing at the front of the plane with the flight attendants, they look deep in conversation.

“I take a higher dose than these, I’d need both.”

“It’s fine. I know it’s not everything but it’ll help right?” He nods slowly, let’s go of her hand and takes the bottle. After he takes them he puts his headphones on and leans forward his head in his hands and she rubs his back. By the time Saeyoung is sitting beside her again Saeren is practically in her lap, sleeping. It’s not long before Saeyoung is asleep on her shoulder and she’s wondering how many tiny airplane glasses of wine she’d have to drink before she could be asleep too.

She’s relieved when they finally get through customs and there’s no one waiting for them. No crowd of friends, no family, no reporters. Just the usual airport bustle. She points Saeyoung to the rental car line up and tells him to wait. Their bags somehow end up being in the first batch on the conveyer belt, she practically throws them off, digging into the back with the Pokemon keychain until and tossing Saeren his pill bag.

They’re pushing the cart to Saeyoung in the rental line when someone grabs her from behind and swings her around.

“Hey, hey, hey!” She yells pulling away and turning.

Her niece is cackling behind her, doubled over.

“Yeah, funny Nina, Jesus Christ,” Callie catches her breath.

“Sorry I’m late, you were easy to find though, Uncle Wyatt said to look for the soulless child-bride.”

“Are you kidding me? This isn’t even my husband.”

“Husband?!” Nina squeals. “What!”

“I’ll get my idiot brother,” Saeren says shaking his head.

“Tell him his idiot wife found a ride,” she frowns.

“You’re married though,” Nina asks. “No one told me.”

“No one knows yet, don’t tell Oma and Opa, we rushed it for court, it’s not a big deal we haven’t actually done a ceremony or anything.”

“Secrets and lies, Aunty Cal,” Nina scolds.

“What are you even doing here, shouldn’t you be with Celia and T?”

“It’s Gilles year and he let me decide between going to Quebec with him or staying with Oma and Opa until he comes back this weekend. “

“I wonder how that’s gonna end up being my fault?”

“Nah,” Nina laughs. “Mom and Uncle T dropped Max off last night and you were already on a plane so they can’t blame you.”

“Oh I’m sure they can find a way,” Callie laughs. “Max is already at Mom and Dad’s though?”

Nina nods.

Saeyoung is there then, lifting her and spinning her like Nina had just done.

“Alright someone help me take the torture sleeve off so I can defend myself,” Callie growls.

“No way!” Nina and Saeyoung laugh. But Saeren helps her loosen what she can’t reach and she shoves it into a suitcase without looking.

“So what, is that like a sympathy thing?” Nina laughs while Callie stretches her arm, the three of them following her niece to parking.

“What did your Mom tell you about my accident?”

“Accident? She didn’t, she just said you hurt yourself and I figured it was the usual, you look fine now. What happened?”

“Uh,” Callie pales.

“Car accident,” Saeren says.

“It even made the American news, Oma stranded Wyatt in Korea. I’m surprised you didn’t see.”

“So it was bad?”

“I mean it should have been worse, we were all pretty lucky, but I was in the hospital a while and I’m still doing physio.”

“Down to twice a week though,” Saeyoung cheers and they high five.

“I only really need to wear the sling at night, I should be cleared after my next appointment with the surgeon, which will be whenever this bullshit is over I guess.” Callie helps the boys shove their suitcases in the trunk of her parents big Buick.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Nina says when they get into the car, “Uncle T is freaking out.”

Callie grunts. “He seemed pretty confident when he was threatening me in the hospital.”

“What?” Saeren and Saeyoung ask.

Callie waves them off.

“I don’t know I try to tune them out when Uncle T comes over. But just before I left he came over with all this paperwork and he kept yelling about pictures, and lawyers.”

“Well it’s nice to know I can afford a scary lawyer on my own.” Callie smiles.

“And it only cost you two sprained fingers to fix his picture flow,” Saeren laughs.

“What?” Nina asks?

“It’s nothing, I hit a stalker.” Callie shrugs.

“And that stopped pictures for Uncle T?”

“The stalker was a PI he hired.” Saeyoung clarifies.

“She was selling pictures to trashy magazines,” Saeren adds.

“Isn’t your new life exciting.” Nina laughs.