#genuinely i had no idea i was wearing a mesh shirt until halfway through the game

[squid-ice]

this is what i wore on my first run

[randogirlo-fando]

Andante, Andante Part 3/?

Summary-Keg King Billy Hargrove becomes infatuated with Mike and Nancy’s cousin who is staying with them over the summer.

Warnings- swearing, mentions of sex, mentions of weed, eventual smut

Word count - 2.1k

“So you thought the best time to tell me you’re going on a date with that jackass was right before I leave for work wearing a stupid sailor costume? Really?” He frustratingly slaps the spatula down from making eggs on the unheated stove and put his face in his hands making you roll your eyes.

“Steve it’s one date, how else was I supposed to get him to leave me alone? I’m trying to not get Hopper called on me because I punched someone....AGAIN!” He turns to you trying so hard not to laugh.

“I’m sorry, did you get in trouble last time? NO! He brought you to the station and gave you a high five for sticking up for yourself.” You look back at your memory of punching Tommy and giggle a little.

“Okay, so what if I go on one date!? I can make my own decisions and I already told him I don’t kiss or fuck on the first date so maybe after this date he will get bored and leave me alone.” He sighs and hugs you, laying his head on yours.

“Promise me you call me if he touches you?” You nod the best you can and he pulls away to look at you.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t tell Dustin.” The solemn nod you give back to him makes him smile before realizing the time.

“Shit I gotta get to work! Grab your stuff I’ll take you home.”

“Okay, I’ll meet you in the car.”

“I’m home!” Your voice echoes through the house while you close the door behind you. As you enter the basement the phone rings, grabbing your attention. You take the phone in your hands and bring it to your ear.

“Wheeler residence, (Y/n) speaking.”

“Hey Cherry, can you be ready in an hour?”

“Ah Hargrove, what makes you think I take any longer than an hour to put myself together?”

“Well I don’t know, do you have to practice your snarky comments ahead of time or something?” The rhetorical question brings a smirk to your face as you roll your eyes.

“Babe I could practically feel that eye roll. Are you free to be picked up in an hour or not?”

“I’m free. Hey, where’s the kids? They aren’t here at the Wheeler house.”

“They’re at that kid Will’s house. And I just left my morning shift at the pool, that’s where your hot aunt is with the little one.” You gag into the phone.

“If you call my aunt hot again today I will tuck and roll out of your car.” He chuckles.

“Fair enough. See you soon Cherry.”

“Whatever Hargrove just don’t be late or I won’t answer the door.” You end the call and walk over to your suitcase to find clothes.

“Hey (Y/n/n), what are you doing?” The voice behind you makes you jump. You turn around to see Nancy and Johnathan laughing.

“Shit, y’all are stealthy.” Once you calm your heart down you look back at your suitcase.

“I have plans today and I’m trying to find a good outfit.”

“What are the plans?” Nancy walks forward to look in your suitcase.

“I mean it’s technically a date but I also don’t count it as one.”

“Woahh already? I knew you were a guy magnet but you’ve been here for 3 days.” Johnathan stands there awkwardly while Nancy giggles at her joke.

“Well I only agreed to it so they would stop asking.”

“Wait, so it’s not Steve?” You look up into Nancy’s eyes and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“What? No. Why would I be going on a date with Steve?”

“Because you guys are clearly going to end up together. I mean he’s been in love with you since you left.”

“Nancy since I’ve left he became the school king and dated you, my cousin. I doubt he’s in love with me. Besides, he even knows about this. We had a sleepover last night.” A small sigh escapes her lips as she continues rummaging.

“All I’m saying is who could you possibly be going on a date with when Steve is right there in plain sight.”

“I honestly don’t think you want to know...” she freezes in place before slowly looking up at you.

“You don’t mean...?” You clear your throat and ignore her shock.

“(Y/n/n) don’t tell us you’re going on a date with that asshole.” Johnathan butts in, scoffing at the silence.

“Okay I’m leaving, Nancy I’ll see you later.” He kisses her cheek and pats your shoulder before going up the stairs.

“I only said yes so he would get off my case. He will be here in like forty minutes.”

“Be careful, he doesn’t treat girls nicely.”

“Oh trust me I already know.”

“Here put this on.” She lifts up a yellow and white striped tank with some baggy blue jean shorts and throws them at you.

“I’m going to be in my room to do your hair when you’re ready.” You smile at her while she goes towards the door.

After you changed and did your hair and makeup, making sure to wear your signature red lipstick, you sit on the kitchen counter talking to Nancy.

“He should be here any minute. He’s got 5 minutes or I’m locking the door on him.” You two giggle before hearing a knock on the door.

You jump off the counter and open the door to Billy leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey Cherry, you’re looking...good.” He compliments, making sure to obviously check you out.

“Eyes up here Hargrove, lets get going. Bye Nance!”

“Bye (y/n/n)!” You close the door behind you and make your way to the passenger side of the blue camaro and climb in.

“So Hargrove, where are you taking me?” He starts the engine and smirks at you before pulling out of the driveway.

“Well for starters, the mall. Thought we could get some food and go to a movie.”

“What movie?”

“Hellhole”

“Oh so your plan is a horror movie so I’ll get scared and you can be my knight and shining armor? Hate to break it to ya but I’m not scared of horror movies.”

“Oh really? How much you wanna bet you’ll be in my arms by the end of the movie?”

“If I win, you have to buy me something at the mall.”

“And if I win you have to go on a second date with me.”

“Deal Hargrove.”

“Two for Hellhole.”

“That’ll be $10” Billy pays for the tickets before getting you a large bowl of popcorn and Pepsi.

“Right this way Cherry.” He guides you with his hand on your lower back into the theatre and to the very back seats.

“My rule isn’t going to change Hargrove. Just because we’re in the back doesn’t mean I’m gonna let you do anything.”

“Yeah yeah just pass the Pepsi will ya?” You hand him the drink and the room goes dark.

“I can’t believe you weren’t scared.” You giggle at him and smirk as you walk to the food court.

“I told you, I’m a horror movie fanatic. Now you have to buy me something pretty.” He rolls his eyes playfully and then you see Steve working. Billy drags you to the ice cream parlor by the hand, holding onto it so you won’t let go.

“Well if it isn’t Harrington. How’s the sailor thing working out for ya?”

“Billy piss off I’m working.”

“Now now Harrington. I’m a customer, which do you want Cherry?” You roll your eyes and smile at Steve.

“Your favorite?” He asks, making Billy clench his jaw. You nod and pull your hand out of Billy’s grip.

“That’ll be $2.67” Billy puts the money on the counter and watches while Steve gets you your chocolate cherry swirl. He hands it to you and winks before putting the money in the register and giving change.

“C’mon Billy lets go sit down.” You walk away and sit at a table, Billy close behind.

“Did you just ask me out to make Steve jealous?” You’re face is unreadable to Billy while he scoffs.

“Not entirely.” You sigh and lick your ice cream.

“You’re a dick you know.” He stays silent until an idea pops in your head.

“He already knew about this date, you know. I stayed at his house last night.” His jaw clenches again as he watches you lick your ice cream.

“His parents weren’t home because of a vacation. It was nice hanging out with him. Like old times.” You realize he’s watching you and take one long lick on your ice cream to stir him on more.

“Of course I didn’t have any sleep clothes though since we went straight to his after the pool so I had to wear his shirt and sweats while we slept.” You’re halfway through your ice cream before Billy takes it from you and throws it away.

“That’s enough of that. Let’s go get you something pretty like I promised.” He pulls you up and drags you into Lovelace Lingerie.

“Are you crazy!? I’m not having you buy my underwear. We’re going into The Gap.” You drag him into the store and start looking around.

After a bit, you find a baggy black mesh dress and fall in love.

“Billy I want this.” He looks at the price and huffs.

“Okay let’s get it.”

“Hey Billy?” His concentration leaves the road for a split second to acknowledge you.

“Yeah what’s up” a huff leaves your lips before tapping the car door.

“I’ve actually had a fun time today. You know, you’re not a total dick when it’s just us two?”

You hear him chuckle before hearing the clicking of a lighter while at a red light. You watch him take a puff and he catches you staring, causing him to smirk.

“Want a hit, Cherry?” He offers the cigarette to you and you hesitantly take it from in between his fingers, your fingers brushing against his. He watches as you place it between your lips, inhaling the contents before coughing and handing it back.

“Guessing you’re not much of a smoker?” The light turns green and he puts his attention back to the road.

“I only really do it when I’m stressed. Now that schools over I’m not as stressed. It was also usually blunts, not nicotine.”

“So the southern belle has a bite to her. I mean I could tell you were feisty but pot? We should smoke together some time.” You smile at him and nod.

“I mean if you have a dealer here then totally.” Silence swallows you until you realize you past the turn to the Wheeler house.

“What, are you about to pull a Ted Bundy on me?” That joke made a genuine laugh come from him for the first time and it makes you proud.

“No, I just thought you’d want to come with me to pick Max up from the Byer’s.”

“Oh shit, that might not be a good idea. Chances are Dustin’s there, and you have no idea how pissed he would be to see me in your car.” He senses the tone of worry in your voice and genuinely feels concerned.

“I know they don’t like me but shit it’s that bad that you didn’t even tell them we had a date?”

“The only people that know are Steve, Nancy, and Johnathan.” He chuckles before making a U-turn.

The drive to the Wheeler house didn’t take longer than just a few short minutes. You both silently wished it was longer but before you could make up a reason to stay out with him, he pulled into the driveway. The car stops and he catches you staring blankly at him.

“Well, this was fun Cherry. Guess now I gotta leave you alone?”

“Well I may give you a second date, who knows. Maybe you can even take me out this week.”

“So I should call you?” You lean closer to his face, a genuine smile with a tone of snark on yours.

“You betcha...” you look down at his lips before closing your eyes, slowly leaning in meet him. The kiss lasts a minute, just slowly moving along his while he holds your cheek. You pull away and keep your eyes closed afterwards.

“What happened to no kissing on the first date?” You open your eyes slowly to the shit eating grin on his face.

“Maybe I couldn’t wait.” You give him a wink before opening the car door and stepping out.

“Don’t forget to call me this week.” You blow him a kiss and close the car door. He watches as you enter the house before driving off, the smile not leaving his face.

A/n- hey again I’m so sorry it takes me so long to post, a lots been going on.

TAGLIST

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[isolavirtuosa]

Starting Over (For Real?) 41-42

[fanfiction] NaruSasu

Read the previous parts here.

- 41 -

  “This is how you dress for an undercover mission?” Naruto asked incredulously, looking up from the weapons he was packing.

“This is how I always dress,” I said, adjusting my belt.  I had even closed my shirt up more than usual since it was still winter.

“I liked when you were wearing my clothes,” he muttered.

“I’m sure you did,” I said, rolling my eyes.  “Imagine if everyone dressed in shitty orange t-shirts and track pants like you.”

“Um, it would be awesome?”

“We’re using a henge anyway.”

“Okay, but you’re still distracting,” he complained.  “Don’t you think it’s time to change your fashion?”

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” I scoffed, pulling on the collar of his hideous jacket.  “You look better in blue.  It brings out your eyes.”

Naruto’s face turned bright red.

I grinned, kissing his cheek and watching him flame even brighter.  “If you let me dress you for a day, then you can dress me for a day.”

“Th-th-that’s a good idea, yes, definitely,” he said, nodding his head vigorously.

“When we get back, then,” I said.

“When we get back,” he agreed.

We looked at each other.

“We’re not gonna be back for a while…” Naruto said.

“Probably not,” I agreed.  Apparently always using Kakashi as a personal taxi service was out, so we were walking to Lightning.

“Can we share a tent?” he requested, looping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

“You’re so codependent,” I complained.

“Can we share a sleeping bag?” he requested, grinning up at me.

I was going to ask him what was wrong with him, but instead decided to level him with a very tired look.

“I’ve gotten used to waking up next to you in the morning,” he said, sticking out his bottom lip.  “I don’t want to get unused to it.”

“And what are Sai and Ino going to think?” I asked him.

“Um, that we’re boyfriends and engaged and kinda banging?”

The ‘kinda banging’ got me, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of me.

Naruto looked smitten.

Our knock-down, drag-out training session the day before had certainly gotten us back on even footing, and an evening of kinda banging afterwards had probably given me enough endorphins to make me receptive to Naruto’s contagious lovey-doviness.  I pulled him closer and pressed our lips together.

“I adore you,” he mumbled, giving me cute little puppy-like kisses.

For fuck’s sake, we were the grossest couple.  “You can’t act like this on our mission,” I informed him while still completely indulging him.

“Why not?” he complained.

“Because it undermines my authority,” I growled, trying not to drown in his attention.

He nipped my nose, then licked it.

I made a face.

“How does it undermine your authority when I act stupidly in love with you?” he asked.

I looked at him.

“Hm?” he hummed, pausing in his mission to kiss every inch of my face to tilt his head to the side and study me.  “What, do I embarrass you?”

“Obviously.”

“No, that’s not it,” he mused.  “Do you worry that my unfailing devotion to you will distract me in battle?”

“All the time.”

He laughed at that.  “Well, if you’re gonna dress like that…”

“Why can’t you move on from my clothes?”

“Because it’s ridiculous that you look that sexy in a fight,” he complained, taking his arms away and crossing them over his chest.  “Why can’t you dress practically like everyone else?”

“I am dressed practically,” I said.  I pointed to my arm guards.

“I’m practically invincible, and even I wear a damn mesh,” he complained, pulling up the hem of his t-shirt to reveal the mesh covering his very nice stomach.

“Do you see any scratches?” I asked, gesturing towards my bare chest.

“I’ve seen your scars, love,” he said, eyes serious.

“I don’t think a flimsy little mesh shirt would have stopped this,” I said, touching my slightly-less-missing-but-missing-none-the-less arm.  “And I think I still see the bruise on your solar plexus from yesterday,” I added, pulling up his mesh shirt and looking at the faint yellow bruise on his skin.

“That was a cheap shot,” he complained, touching the healing injury.  “Who kicks a guy when he’s asking you if you’re okay?”

“The guy who’s going to win the fight?” I suggested.

“Ha,” he scoffed.  “You didn’t win.”

“That’s an interesting take on things.”

“It’s a factual take on things.”

“I’m pretty sure the fight ended with you on your back and my sword at your throat.”

“Um, yeah, after I had you against a tree with a kunai to your heart.”

“I think the end result speaks for itself.”

“You are so obnoxious,” Naruto said incredulously.  “You bashed your head into a tree, freaked me out, then kicked me halfway into Sunday.”

“Your weaknesses are very easy to exploit,” I informed him.

“I’ve never been distracted in a real fight,” Naruto complained.

I laughed really long and hard at that one.

“Well I don’t get distracted when it counts!” he protested.

“Remember when we first saw each other at Orochimaru’s hideout and you were going to let me stab you?”

“I wasn’t!”

“And you were going to let Kurama take over your body until I stopped him.”

“I wasn’t…  Hey, remember that time you could have killed me but didn’t?”

“Which one?”

“All of them!” he snipped, pulling me forward by my belt.  “Did Sai stop you that time at Orochimaru’s?  Or was it just that you couldn’t go through with it?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

He rested his forehead against mine.

I could feel his horns poking into me.

“We have had a seriously messed up relationship,” he mused.

I closed my eyes, letting our noses rub together.  “I’m trying to be less… messed up,” I said quietly.

“Me, too, love, but I don’t think we’re doing very well.”

I scoffed at that.

“It’s true, though, night of great sex aside,” he said, cradling my cheek and thumbing across my lips.  “We suck at personal growth.”

“I feel like the night of great sex contradicts that,” I said, mind drifting.  Naruto had been very assertive the night before, but still attentive and careful to make sure that everything he did or asked for was okay.  It had felt like a natural give and take, like two people working together towards something rather than our usually very one-sided sexual encounters.

And then there was the whole chakra thing.

“I did feel like we were very in sync,” he agreed, starting to smile.  “We’re always having the same dumb arguments over and over, but yesterday… was a welcome break.”

“A break?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, a break,” he said.  “Hopefully a breakthrough?  You seemed to… like it…”

I was probably blushing, but if he even attempted to point this out I would deny, deny, deny.  I could drop to my knees and suck his dick without batting an eye, but the reminder of him and what he did with his chakra was enough to turn me into a stuttering idiot.

Naruto shook his head with a little secret smile, but was smart enough to stop there, letting his hand drop away from my cheek.  “I love you,” he said, giving me a brief kiss before turning back to his weapons.  “Are you almost ready?”

“I’ve been ready,” I commented.  “You’re the one trying to have one last bang before we leave.”

Naruto cracked up.  “You cannot say that word.”

“And yet I just did.”

“Also, I am not,” he added.  “Unless…?”

I put my hand over his, making him drop the kunai in his hand.  Then I pulled him in by the back of his neck and made his mouth mine.

Naruto swooned.

I pulled away smiling.  “And that’s all you’re getting for the next six months.”

“Like you could resist me for six months,” Naruto scoffed, but then his expression got worried.  “Maybe you could…”

“I could,” I agreed, booping him on the nose.  “But only if I wanted to.”

“So ‘yes’ to sharing a tent?” he asked cheerfully.

“A hard ‘maybe’,” I said.

“I’ll take that,” he said agreeably.

I looked around the little apartment that we’d shared briefly, and I thought that maybe things could work out between us.  Maybe my lack of emotional and sexual availability weren’t going to tear us apart.  Maybe we were somehow going to actually figure things out.

“Hey, there, friends, are you ready to go?” Sai asked cheerfully as he appeared in the room.  “Nice titties, Uchiha.”  He glanced towards Naruto.  “Nice small penis, Uzumaki.”

Maybe it was Sai who was actually going to destroy us.

“You want to compare?!” Naruto demanded, hand going for his fly.

I shook my head at him and mouthed ‘no,’ from over Sai’s shoulder.

Naruto blinked.

“Sure,” Sai said cheerfully, unzipping.

“No one wants to see your penis, Sai,” I said sharply.

“No one?” he asked, looking crestfallen.

It almost seemed genuine, which took me aback for a moment.  “Well, I’m sure Karin or some other desperate person would want to see it, but no one in this room wants to.”

“Hey, we’re all homosexuals here,” he said, hand still toying with his zipper.

“Are we?” Naruto asked, genuinely confused.  “I thought you were with Karin?”

“That’s kind of an experiment,” Sai explained.  “We’ve already discussed how we’re just using one another for sexual pleasure.”

Naruto made a horrified face.

“Too much information,” I pointed out.

“Why?” Sai asked.  “You already knew that, and also I know everything about your sex life.”

“Whaaaat?” Naruto gasped.

“You don’t know everything,” I said placidly.  “Let’s go get Ino.”

Naruto had an uncertain look on his face, and Sai seemed like he was ready to say more inappropriate things.

“Now,” I said, walking to the door without bothering to look back at them.

They were both behind me as I made my way down the stairs towards Ino’s apartment.

“Sasuke!”

I paused in my progress to be assaulted by Karin.

“Are you leaving now?!” she cried, hanging off of my arm.

“Yes.”

She pushed out her bottom lip in a pout.

“You could have come with us,” I pointed out.

“Listen, I’m saving the world here,” she said, raising her chin up haughtily.

“By trying to save some crusty old kages?”

“By figuring out the God Trees and the chakra fruit, and helping protect us from them in the future,” she said like she was talking to a child, concluding it by patting me on the head.

I gave her a look.

She grinned.  “I’ll miss you.”

“Shouldn’t you be saying that to your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“I’m not,” Sai chimed in.

“You’ll miss me, too, won’t you?” Karin cooed, squeezing my cheeks.

I glared at her.

She laughed and let go, going over to Sai.

Naruto had that look on his face again, like he didn’t quite know who I was and where he fit in.

I took his hand irritably and pulled him towards Ino’s while Sai and Karin had a conversation that I was sure neither of us wanted to hear.  I knocked on her door and waited.

“Gimme a minute!” she called through the door.

“Women,” I muttered.

“I thought you had your misogynistic tendencies under control,” Sai said cheerfully as he approached us.  “Or is it because you’re not used to Ino yet?”

I didn’t need to answer that.

Ino finally bustled out of the door, and we set off.

We went as far as the border and rented a couple of rooms.  This would be our last day in neutral territory.  We were going around Fire, but we didn’t know how far Konoha’s influence had reached.  We would have to be constantly on guard.

So of course we all got shitfaced at dinner and proceeded to continue drinking late into the night.

 - 42 -

  Ino wasn’t so bad, I decided.  She didn’t make fun of me for how bad I was at holding my alcohol, unlike every other asshole member of our new team.

While Sai and Naruto bonded over making fun of me, Ino and I sat on the other side of the room, talking about important things.  I think.  What were we talking about again?

“So then Chouji said he saw Temari coming out of Shikamaru’s room after that, and you know what that means?”

Right.  We were gossiping.

“The acting kazekage is a skank?” I suggested.

Ino cracked up.

Naruto and Sai were giving me disappointed looks from across the room.

I turned my back on them and had a little more to drink.  I would have declared the night a success for team bonding, except that Naruto and Sai were pissing me off.

They hadn’t really been getting along well since we’d come back from Water.  I liked to think it was because they were both terribly jealous of the other’s relationship with me.  Well, I liked to think that when I was drunk and ready to admit to myself that I reveled in both of their singular devotion to me.

And now here they were, drunk and happy to make fun of and disapprove of me.

“I wish I could have seen you like this when we were younger,” Ino commented.

“Whassat supposed to mean?” I slurred.

“You’re not what I thought,” she said, smiling.

I decided to take it as a compliment.

“I think the booze has run dry and I’m going to go back to my room,” she said, holding up the empty bottle of vodka.

“Night, Ino,” Naruto said.

“I’ll walk you to your room,” Sai offered, getting to his feet.

“It’s not necessary,” she said, but he was already walking with her.

I crawled across the room to Naruto.

His expression softened and he reached for me, pulling me close.  “Hi, honey.  Are you feeling okay?”

“I feel great,” I informed him.

“Okay, but drink some water,” he said, fumbling around for a glass with his good hand while holding me securely to him with the other.  “Here,” he said, bringing the glass to my lips.

I drank it because he was cute, but I was honestly fine.

“Hello, friends, did you miss me?” Sai asked as he came back into the room.

“Not at all,” I said.  I drank a little more water as Naruto offered it to me.

“Ouch,” Sai said, smiling.

“You ready for bed?” Naruto asked me.

I shook my head and the world spun around a little as my stomach lurched.

Naruto frowned, petting my hair.  “Why don’t you lie down, okay?”

I looked at him.

He patted his lap, and I laid my head there, closing my eyes.

Naruto stroked my hair, voice low as he and Sai talked about the situation in Lightning.

I found myself drifting.

“…both have,” Sai was saying as I felt my stomach twist again.

“Have I really changed, though?” Naruto asked.  His hand was warm against my cheek.

“You don’t think so?”

“I…” he trailed off uncertainly.  “I mean, right now I’m going through stuff, you know?  It’s hard for me to make decisions because I know how badly I messed everything up in what was supposed to be my perfect world.  So… maybe I’m different right now, but it’s only temporary, isn’t it?  I’ll figure it out, and then I’ll go back to normal.”

“That’s an optimistic outlook,” Sai hummed.

“I mean, you’ve changed, too,” Naruto said defensively.

“Yes, I have,” Sai agreed.  “I feel like I’m almost a human being for the first time in my life.”

“So you feel like change is good?”

“When change is growth, I think it’s good.”

“Then how about Sasuke acting like a kid all the time?”

I tensed at that, feeling myself come more awake.

Naruto didn’t seem to notice, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“I think Sasuke stopped being a kid when he was six-years-old, and he’s finally come to a point in his life where he feels safe enough to start to reclaim who he used to be.”

Naruto exhaled slowly.  “Damn, Sai.  You… you really see through things.”

“I watch and I listen, Naruto,” he said.  “I used to have to observe someone down to the minutest details, the most subtle gestures and habits.  Then I killed them.”

Naruto started coughing at that.

“Now I use it to understand my friends more deeply,” Sai concluded cheerfully.

Naruto’s hand disappeared from my face for a moment before returning, cradling my cheek.  “You’re a good friend.”

“Thank you, that’s good feedback,” he replied.

I felt myself drifting again, their voices a soothing background noise.

“…helped me figure out…”

“…kinda weird, but okay…”

“…involved with the duck incident…”

“Can I ever love or be loved?”

Sai’s words startled me awake.  I blinked my eyes open.  “I love you,” I said sleepily.

Naruto tensed up.

Sai gave me a soft smile.  “You sure are drunk, Uchiha.”

“No’m’not.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly.  “Maybe I love you, too.”

“Good,” I said, snuggling back into Naruto’s lap and closing my eyes.

“What the hell?” Naruto complained.

I felt my breathing evening out.

“He just told me he loved me for the first time like a couple of weeks ago, you know,” he grumbled.

“Well, I guess he loves you about two weeks more than me,” Sai said, sounding amused.

Naruto was definitely sulking.

“You know it’s hard for him to say how he really feels,” Sai said.  “He’s drunk now so he doesn’t care.”

“I know,” Naruto said.  “But it was… hard for me, too.  It always felt like a rejection when he wouldn’t say it back.  Now he says it to anyone.”

“I’m not just anyone,” Sai said mildly.

He sighed.  “Yeah, I know.  Just… I’m a jealous jerk, okay?”

“Okay,” Sai agreed.  “You certainly are.”

Naruto breathed out a laugh.  “But how can I not be, I mean look at him.”

“Not my type,” Sai replied cheerfully.

“Is Karin your type?”

“Nope!”

“Well, I’m glad we settled that,” Naruto said.  He sighed again.  “I wish Sas’ didn’t put up so many walls with me.”

“Is this about his rejection of you sexually?”

“No!” he cried.  Then he paused.  “Not entirely, I mean.”

“Then what do you…”

I was started to fall asleep and I didn’t want to.

“…doesn’t tell me…”

“…but that’s not your…”

“What if he just wakes up one day and realizes he doesn’t need me as much as I need him?”

“That’s dumb,” Sai said.

“How is it dumb?”

“You two and your ridiculous bond changed my life,” he said irritably.  “The devotion you had to Sasuke brought me out of my emotionless stupor and started me on the path to becoming a real boy.  Then being immersed in Sasuke’s constant emotional constipation, and watching people’s simultaneous hatred and admiration of it brought me to a whole new level of humanity.  Do you really not know the secret, that Sasuke is every bit as uncoolly obsessed with you as you are with him?  Sasuke is a complete loser who just wants your love and affection, but he pretends that he isn’t a complete loser by being an asshole.  Do you see?”

Sai had read me to my face like this before, so I stayed in my half-asleep state, surprisingly unbothered.

“But…” Naruto started and stopped.  “What?” he concluded.

Sai sighed loudly.  “Have another drink, Naruto.”

I could feel Naruto pouting.  “Sasuke’s the coolest person I know.”

“Myth.”

My character was really being attacked here, but Naruto’s lap was very cozy.

“Do I… idealize him?” he murmured.

“You’re starting to get it.”

“Sai, you should be like a psychologist or something.”

There was a pause and then Sai let out a bark of laughter.

I liked Sai’s real laugh.  It sounded terrible, but it made me feel warm and happy, or was that just the alcohol talking?

“What?” Naruto complained.

“I’m not the kind of person that people want to confide their problems in.”

“Um, whaddya think I’m doing right now?” Naruto asked.  “And Sasuke, the king of all walls, opens up to you more than he apparently opens up to me.  So…”

“You two aren’t a representation of normal people.”

“Yeah, well, most of the people we know aren’t normal.”

“I can’t really argue with that.”

“I know, right?” Naruto said with a sigh.  “Sai, you really know how to look inside of a person and find the part they most want to keep hidden.”

“Like your small penis?”

“That joke is wearing thin.”

“Is it, though?” Sai asked cheerfully.

Their banter was lulling me back to sleep.  I woke up to the realization that I was drooling on Naruto’s thigh.  I sat up quickly, wiping my mouth.  The blood rushed to my head and I squinted in the dim light of the room.

“Hi, sleeping beauty,” Naruto greeted me.

I scowled at him.  “Why are you still awake?”

“Me and Sai have just been talking,” he said with a shrug.

“It’s late,” I said.

“It’s barely past ten,” he said, amused.  “You passed out at like nine.”

Well, wasn’t I an embarrassing lightweight?  “It’s late,” I said, doubling down.

He grinned.  “Okay.  Do you want to go to bed?”

I nodded.

“Mmkay,” he said, giving me a smooch.  His breath was heavy with alcohol, which made me feel slightly better.  He was at least mildly drunk.

“Don’t forget that I’m here,” Sai said cheerfully.

“I already did,” I replied, focusing on giving Naruto an even better smooch.

Naruto smiled dopily at me.

“Maybe I should room with Ino,” Sai suggested.

I nodded my agreement.

“You’re the cheapskate who didn’t want to pay for three rooms,” Naruto said, catching my nose and tugging on it playfully.

“I’m the cheapskate who’s paying for everything,” I said, rolling my eyes.  It was hard for Naruto to earn any money when he was always doing everything for free.

“Oh, right, thank you,” he said, letting go of my nose and kissing it.

I leaned into him, feeling warm and relaxed, and then I realized my bladder was about to explode and abruptly stood up.

Naruto tilted forward from my sudden absence.

When had my body started to store so much liquid?  I power walked over to the bathroom, barely stumbling at all.

Sai was tittering at me, and I ignored him.

I proceeded to unleash the most unholy of torrent of urine that has ever been beholden.  Or something.  I was still fairly drunk and it was taking an incredibly long time to get it all out.

“Did you fall in?” Naruto complained from outside the door.

“I’m peeing,” I growled at him.  I was still peeing.

“We want to brush our teeth,” Sai chimed in.

“Fuck off.”

“Are you really still peeing?” Naruto marveled.  “I can hear it!”

“Fuck off,” I repeated, lest he hadn’t heard me the first time.  When the ordeal was finally over, I flushed and washed my hands.  I opened the door to find Naruto and Sai both gaping at me.

“I bet you could win an award for the longest piss ever,” Naruto marveled.

I stared at him.

“Let’s brush our teeth!” he said cheerfully, smushing into the bathroom with me, followed by Sai.

“This bathroom was made for one person,” I grumbled.

“It’s like we’re one person,” Sai said with a shrug, reaching across Naruto so he could put some water on his toothbrush.

“No, it’s not like that at all,” I said.  Apparently Sai was also buzzed.

We all brushed our teeth in the tiny bathroom in front of the tiny mirror, Naruto wedged against the toilet.

I felt… relaxed.

Until Naruto tried to spit in the sink and ended up hitting my foot instead.

“You are vile,” I informed him.

He gave me very sad puppy eyes.

Fuck, I loved him.  “Clean it up,” I snipped.

He looked very confused.

Sai spit into the sink gracefully and rinsed off his toothbrush.  “Maybe you should get him some clean socks,” he suggested kindly.

“But I’m trapped in here,” Naruto said mournfully, still wedged against the toilet.

“I’ll help you,” Sai said.

They nodded at each other.

I was starting to feel like the soberest person in this cramped bathroom.  “So you two are friends again after spending the whole night talking about me?”

“We were never not friends,” Naruto complained.

“We discussed a variety of topics, not all of them you, Uchiha,” Sai scoffed.

“Yeah, okay,” I said, trying to get Sai moving through the door that he was blocking.  My sock was moist.

Sai backed through the bathroom door.  “I think Naruto and I have rediscovered our bond.”

“Sounds gay,” I commented, sliding past him and happily kicking my sock off on the floor.

“Do you always have to use that word?” Naruto complained, producing a dry pair of socks from his bag.

“Yes,” I said.  “Especially if you two are bonding.”

Naruto sighed, curling his arms around my waist.  “I’m only gay for you,” he said, kissing the back of my neck.

My skin felt sensitive and it sent a pleasant little tingle down my spine.  “Homo,” I informed him.

He let out an exasperated growl, but then he was leaning over my shoulder and giving me kisses.

“My feet are cold,” I mumbled against his lips.

He growled again, but he was smiling as he sat me down on the futon, still wrapped around me from behind.

I held my foot out to him.

“You’re very flexible,” he marveled, pulling the sock onto my foot.

“Ninjas are supposed to be flexible…”

“I guess,” he said, getting distracted kissing my neck.

“If you’re going to fornicate while I’m next to you, I get to take notes,” Sai commented from his futon.

“No one’s fornicating,” Naruto said, mouth attached to my shoulder.  “And I drank too much, so I couldn’t get it up if I tried.”

“Good to know,” Sai said cheerfully.  “Good night, friends.”

“Night, Sai,” I said, head lolling around as Naruto continued to give me his full attention.

“Good night,” Naruto agreed before going back to my neck.

Sai rolled his eyes and turned off the light.

“We’re sharing a bed, right?” Naruto murmured hopefully in my ear.

“Just get over here,” I muttered, pulling him under the blankets of my futon.

He happily snuggled into me, attaching his mouth to my collarbone.

I closed my eyes, letting my fingers run through his hair.

“You smell nice,” he hummed into my skin.

“I smell like alcohol,” I murmured, fingers lingering.  “I love you, you know.”

He grinned up at me in the dark, his teeth a flash of white.  “I love you, too.”

“Well, as long as that’s settled,” I said, directing his head to lie on my chest.

“I am very fond of both of you,” Sai interjected, his voice already heavy with sleep.

I was okay with that.  I was okay with all of this.  These bonds that we had formed.  The way these two assholes could talk about me like I wasn’t even in the room, just because I was slightly tipsy and half-asleep.  It didn’t bother me.  It should bother me, but it didn’t.  I wondered if I had reached a new plateau of consciousness, or if I was just so drunk that I didn’t care.  Would I wake up tomorrow, pissed about how they were shit-talking me and how Naruto was invading my privacy?

I kissed the top of his head, and thought maybe I wouldn’t.

I knew all of their secrets, too.  I knew how insecure Naruto was.  I knew how guilty Sai felt about his past.  Knowledge was power, and I had the same power over them that they had over me.

Also, I was taller than both of them.  That seemed important.

Naruto was half-asleep now, hand clutching at the fabric of my shirt.  “Good night, honey,” he murmured.

I ran my fingers up and down his skin until he fell asleep.