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maskedteaser · 5 months ago

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hii i just saw the rdr2 matchups you did and i love them AND HOLY SHIT APEX FAN‼️‼️ i love how detailed you are!! love your writing!! so if ur not too overwhelmed with requests id like to make one :3 and honestly if ur doing matchups for apex id love that too there's so little apex ffs, especially x reader </3 no pressure tho!!

anyways as for me. uhh. i don't use labels (aside from being asexual) but am pretty masculine in gender, and my love is for any gender. my pronouns are he/him :3

more about me,, im vegetarian, my favorite animal is the octopus, im chronically ill & disabled, which means i have chronic pain and have pretty bad sleep (literally writing this at 10 am after not being able to sleep all night) but despite that i have a weird paradox where i am kinda strong? like i can pick ppl up. but can't have much activity for a long time lest i cast spell 200 bpm on myself. but for the sake of the ff i could totally bench press arthur morgans 180lb of pure muscle. its true <3

in apex i main wattson and bloodhound! but i also like crypto, octane ofc (who doesn't), loba, and... im sorry.. wraith 😭 i got wattsons heirloom after. a very long time of opening packs AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH no regrets!! french girl with giant nessie plush!!!!! tho i haven't played in forever (and honestly may keep it that way with how much they're nerfing bloodhound.. like.. c'mon man.. not my main.. they've already been nerfed so much 😭)

i recently started playing rdr2 cause im visiting family that has it (theres actually been a lot of funny stories being on an unfamiliar console, like playing 22+ hours and reaching chap 2 without knowing how to save.. and i didnt know how to tell arthurs weight so i kept him underweight for so long my poor starving man </3) after playing rdr1 quite a bit. i also vibed with john hard in 1 but i lowkey thought he was an angsty young adult in rdr2 and not a FATHER. my favs are arthur and javier tho i can barely see the latter cause where tf is he on the map?? same with charles where IS HE??? but anyways i also vibe so hard with kieran.

tho i could talk forever about my interests, other than that for personality: id describe myself as actually kinda confident around strangers, i love to compliment ppl i come across. for friends, much of the same, i like using improv as humor if that makes sense, ive been told im easy to talk to, i consider myself intuitive (also contributed to me being a tarot reader i believe), but i am the type to have a veeerryy hard time expressing negative feelings im having, and never crying in front of people, so no shortage of bottling emotions. im also rather rigid on cleanliness and WILL start tweaking if me/my space goes too long w/o cleaning. i really, really care about people (i would want to be a paramedic!! if my body could allow it..) and i so want to make peoples lives better!! but also can rather easily stop people from walking over me, should they try. i care about kids a lot, and get very peeved when other ppl dont know how kids brains work and mistreat them because of such, and cause they just have no respect for children. honestly with thinking like.. about formulating matchmaking requests i never really seem to think about what id want out of a person. honestly, just when someone cares (wow, such high standards) but should the time come, mmmost times im not afraid to make a selfish ask. most. maybe. sometimes. and im very, very empathetic and it SUCKS i take psychic damage every time someone even remotely, even HYPOTHETICALLY feels bad. this is not a virtue.

for hobbies, i like to play video games as you may have guessed, i also like to read (non fiction, classic lit and danmeis especially), make art of all kinds but mainly physical sketches, and im always looking to add more shows/movies to my watched list.

i love to visit restaurants and cafes and interesting places surrounding food!!! my idea of a good time is eating with people, even if its in a crappy chuck e cheese. i love to try new foods (but it's a bit hard since becoming vegetarian), and i love matcha! i also love visiting just interesting places in general. why go to disney when you can see a beautiful spot in nature, or an art exhibit, or a park, or just the lively downtown? but other than that, i love my dedicated space 💗

i dont like rude people. mean people. people mean to kids and animals. bigots. assholes. any synonym for that. but honestly, not much else. there are other things that sure tick me off but can be pretty easily taken care of or compromised for.

i hope i didnt write a damn essay. half of it was geeking out over interests but. im guessing the brainrot is shared. but thank you so much for even reading my request this far!! (*˘︶˘*)

hii! sure thing! i love doing matchups especially when you guys give me lots of details :) let's get to it :) THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD!!! I'M REALLY SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES!!!

okay, first things first - let me tell you why I didn't choose other characters :)

❝ im chronically ill & disabled, which means i have chronic pain and have pretty bad sleep ❞

Well, I need to be honest with you, I believe that despite your strenght, REVENANT would just make fun of your disability, he would NOT care at all, he'd probably pick on you and be REALLY rude. I hope it's not offensive (i'm sorry if i'm insensitive, it's not my intention), but I know he'd want to offend you. You could actually have a good hate-ship (if you know what i mean), where the only thing you guys do is fight with each other but I don't think that's what you want.

❝ im also rather rigid on cleanliness and WILL start tweaking if me/my space goes too long w/o cleaning. ❞

I'm sorry, have you seen OCTANE'S room? Let me remind you of that...

Can you see what is happening on his floor? This guy would probably drive you insane with how messy he is and I know he wouldn't care if you tried to ask him to clean it up... It would probably lead to many arguments and fights between you :(

❝and im very, very empathetic and it SUCKS i take psychic damage every time someone even remotely, even HYPOTHETICALLY feels bad. this is not a virtue. ❞

I have this feeling that Loba would see you as an easy target to manipulate, she'd think that she could use you after seeing that you feel really bad when someone feels bad, so she'd probably talk about her past a lot around you - trying to make you feel like you need to help her with everything. I doubt that it could work out :( I hope you see my vision and I'm not weirdly delusional with my ideas.

BUT NOW FOR A RESULT... (NGL I HAD A BIG PROBLEM WITH THIS ONE SINCE YOU SEEM TO BE A GOOD MATCH FOR AT LEAST 2 LEGENDS, BUT I DECIDED TO PICK...)

VANTAGE

I feel like you and Vantage could have a really good relationship! You both seem to aim high with your ideals and I just think that you both are really empathetic, a little bit emotional even... You share the love for animals. She has her Echo and she'd probably die for him. Vantage would never let any animal be mistreated when she's watching.

" why go to disney when you can see a beautiful spot in nature, or an art exhibit, or a park, or just the lively downtown? " - I think she thinks exactly the same! She seems to be a big fan of nature and she is an explorer. Born on a cold planet where everything wanted to kill her, she knows that nature can both be beautiful and deadly. She is also really nice, and I think that when she gets closer to someone, she actually CARES, like...A LOT. You'd probably be treated really well. I think that Vantage would be really patient when it comes to you and expressing your feelings, she'd never let you just walk away if she saw that you were upset, I think that communication and trust is a priority in every relationship.

She'd listen to you when you tell her that you have chronic pain and she'd do exactly the things you ask her to do, always trying her best to help you and she'd make sure you're not pushing yourself too hard.

Thank you for reading 👽👽👽

#apex legends x reader #apex legends fic #vantage x reader #vantage apex legends #teaser.matchups #teaser.writing.apex.legends

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stars-and-guts · 1 year ago

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yo i just have a random ass opinion

hot take: theres nothing INHERENTLY wrong at all about feminizing characters. you dont have to like it, and tbh i dont always love it. but sometimes even when i get where people are coming from theyre making it sound like its the feminine traits themselves that are the bad thing

ive probably said shit like that before im ngl.

but i think what yall are trying to fight shouldnt be "feminizing" characters. not liking characters wearing skirts or expressing their emotions (neither of which should be gendered in the first place because god damn why are emotions considered girl things - thats a topic for another post tho) feels more like a dont like dont read thing at most

i think what yall are trying to fight is 2 things

fetishization, especially of asian men. i am not qualified to put all the details and i dont want to get shit wrong but the basics of it is that asian men have been considered "not masculine enough" etc in media for a while now. it sucks. both because peoples definitions of masculinity / femininity are overrated and because its rooted in racism.

homophobia, or kind of hyper-playing into roles of masculine - feminine in same sex pairings. like the "whos really the guy / girl of the relationship" energy. thats also pretty icky.

so yes, is it a little uncomfortable for a ship to be genuinely portrayed like those uwu catboys and bad boy alphas of 2018? a little bit. but i think its also a little uncomfy for us gender non-conforming for yall to aggressively hate on feminine men.

id like to add on that i have reblogged a post talking about this before, and i talked about how it gets a little old to see every time in the reblogs tags. after making that reblog tho, i felt like i didnt explain how i felt as well as i wanted to so i made this post

#hot take #random opinion #femininity #feminine men #mlm #lgbtqia #shipping #ppanicposts

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thefanficmonster · 3 years ago

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The Five Scares (and one revenge)

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having a tendency to scare people, Corpse has gotten used to his friends being jumpy whenever he appears from the void into a Discord call with them. However, the one who has it the roughest with the spooks has to be his partner Y/N. Basically: The five times Corpse scared Y/N and the one time they scared him

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your lovely request it was a real joy to write and I had a ton of fun doing so! Hope you have equally as wonderful of a time if you happen to come across it and give it a read despite the long wait you’ve had to endure which I apologize for. Love, Vy ❤

Having had to go home for the night to keep an eye on their roommate’s dog, Y/N and Corpse agreed to have a video call before they fell asleep. They didn’t want to appear like that typical clingy and cheesy couple but after spending almost a whole week curled up in Corpse’s apartment, the two would feel each other’s absence to a very saddening degree to the point where they’d even forget the other isn’t around and would call out to them.

Letting the call ring, Y/N’s hand comes up to smooth out their hair. However, the touch reveals to them that their hair needs a bit more than a simple tap or a pat to be tamed so while they wait for Corpse to answer the call, they quickly head to their bathroom. Flicking the light on, their reflection greets them with the underwhelming news of the actual state of their hair at the moment: an absolute mess. They proceed to do their best with the single hair-tie they have handy. A bobby pin or two would be neat but they have no time to go and grab one right now, seeing as how they can’t recall if they even brought them back from Corpse’s apartment. If they didn’t, they would have to search their roommate’s room for some which would take an even longer amount of time.

Eventually, they manage to tame it in something closely resembling a presentable ponytail and exit the bathroom feeling more exhausted than before. With a loud sigh, they crash onto their bed, face-first into the sea of pillows, groaning at the slight sting of their muscles relaxing at last.

“Y/N?“ The decently loud mention of their name by a deep, familiar yet sudden and unexpected voice startles them to the point of squealing and jumping an entire inch away from where they were positioned.

They look around their room in a frenzy, wondering where on Earth that voice came from and how it could be here with them right now.

“Y/N, you there?”, before they could locate it, it emerges once again, helping Y/N get an ide of where it’s coming from - somewhere in the messed up bed sheets.

“Corpse?“ They finally find their voice, “Y-yeah I’m here. Question is: how are you...“ and then it all clicks, causing them to twist their face in an expression of utter disappointment and bury it in the palms of their hands, groaning.

“You forgot about the video chat, didn’t you?“ Corpse asks, amusement not even attempted to be hidden in his voice.

“Yup.“

It’s been one hell of a day. Y/N’s college lectures exhausted them to a max and their six hour job following their classes did nothing to help them AT ALL. Quite the opposite actually. Makes sense why they look, move and talk the way they’re doing right now: like a ghost, zombie and an elder combined in one. To add to their misfortunes for the day, they were met with the mocking ‘OUT OF ORDER’ sign taped to the doors of the elevator, laughing in their face with the information that their hellish experience for the day is far from over.

Just the thought of having to climb to the fifth floor made their stomach turn in the most unpleasant way possible, but the though of how long that would take made matters even worse. Arriving at their designated apartment, they have every right to be pissed, cussing their heart out.

However, then comes a new problem: the inability to pinpoint the correct key. They proceed to curse themselves, the keys, the door handle and the door itself before punching the poor wood that did no wrong and just stands here, serving its purpose of keeping unwanted people out of the apartment it’s guarding.

Following their anger outburst and front-door-abuse, they proceed to try finding the correct key once again, this time slightly more calmly as to not accidentally miss it in their frantic rifling.

Right as they’re about to try the third key, however, the door opens. Well, it’s opened by someone on the other side, that someone being none other than their boyfriend Corpse who’s currently staring at them wide-eyed, one eyebrow raised, the word ‘confused’ basically written across his face.

While he’s processing the sight in front of him, Y/N lets out a little scream, jumping back and away from the door, a hand placed over their chest as their wide eyes scan their boyfriend who now seems equally terrified as a result of their reaction.

“Corpse?!“ They manage to gasp, barely hearing their own voice over the loud thumping of their heart and the rush of blood in their ears, “What the hell are you doing here?!“

The confusion on Corpse’s face deepens, reaching whole new levels as his eyes gaze deeper into theirs, searching for the meaning behind their bizarre question. “You mean...at my own apartment? What am I doing, at home?“

For a few seconds, the two just stare blankly at one another, processing everything that’s just happened. Suddenly, it all just kinda caves for Y/N and they burst out laughing, doubling over, their arms clutching at their stomach as they do so. Their laughter is contagious, so Corpse can’t help but let out a few chuckles himself.

“Alright, you’ve been driven to insanity, I can tell.“ He mumbles at his reckless partner, coming up behind them and wraps his arms around them, lifting them up and carrying their laughing ass inside.

III

Finally deciding to sit down and get this damn project started, Y/N already feels like they’ve had enough of it, burnout already creeping in and threatening to ruin their work and trip them up every step of the way. It wouldn’t have been so bad had the subject not been one they absolutely despise and wish they could get out of studying but alas they’re stuck with it.

They equip their headphones as soon as they plant their butt on the desk chair in their tiny room in their tiny roommate-shared apartment, putting their Spotify playlist on shuffle as they open a blank Power Point document. They work better with music blasting in their ears since the silence tends to be too loud and distracting when they’re trying to focus. So, that way they can also sing their heart out in peace and not get disturbed by the sound of their own off-key singing. Win-win, basically.

Singing ‘Never Forget You’ by Zara Larsson and MNEK, they get a little carried away, ditching the project to enter a full-blown music video they can imagine down to the detail in their mind.

However, there’s a surprise awaiting them.

As soon as MNEK’s part of the song begins, another voice apart from his echoes through their headphones, singing along to the song. Freaking the fuck out, they let out a loud scream, smacking the headset off them, sending the object falling and landing on their laptop keyboard with a crash that only serves to further startle their roommate’s dog which comes to check if they are being attacked or something only to be disappointed by the lack of action.

When pushing the headphones off, they did so with a force strong enough to snap the cable out of the laptop entirely so now the room is filled with the sound of that same foreign voice laughing his ass off.

A voice that belongs to no other than Corpse Husband himself.

“You gotta learn to disconnect from Discord calls, Y/N.“ The fucker says, still cackling wholeheartedly at his partner’s misery.

Pissed off or not, Y/N would have to admit he’s got a point. But they’d also rather never speak again than admit it so...

“Fuck you!“ is what they say instead, seconds before disconnecting.

Making breakfast is not something either Corpse or Y/N are used to, mostly cause they both either wake up late or skip the meal entirely. Regardless, having been given a day off from work and having no classes since it’s Saturday, Y/N saw no better way to start their day off than to prepare a nice breakfast for them and their boyfriend to enjoy. Problem is: they aren’t the most skilled in the kitchen. Sure they can scramble an egg or make mac and cheese, but in order to do it correctly they are not allowed to have distractions of any kind. Not even music, that’s how you know it’s serious.

Seeing as how Corpse has never seen them cook, he’s obviously unaware of theirs. The dummy straight up waltzes into the kitchen, unintentionally remaining unspotted and unheard by Y/N because he’s barefoot and because they have their back turned to him.

“Whatya cooking over there babe?“

Y/N’s focus bubble, being as thin as it is and considering they initially thought Corpse was still asleep, they have every right to let out the yelp they just did, dropping the egg they were gonna crack over the pan in said pan in its entirety - yes, shell and all.

A moment of silence commences: regretful on Corpse’s end and frustrated on theirs. Neither of them dares to say anything to avoid triggering the other. Well, that’s the case until Y/N decides enough’s enough and they turn to look at him, a wide, obviously fake smile plastered onto their face.

“Scrambled eggs, following a secret recipe, property of the L/N family.“

Seems like your pre-breakfast snack is an extra large dose of sarcasm, huh?

“So, how was your day? You sound pretty chipper so I take it wasn’t a nightmare like a few days ago.“ Corpse comments over the phone, listening to shuffling and shifting as Y/N moves around the apartment, getting ready to head out.

“It was great actually. Got some important results back and, not to brag or anything, but they were higher than I expected.“ They reply, a genuine wide grin refusing to leave their face as they silently count the amount of money they’ve got in their wallet. “I’m gonna go buy a cake so we can celebrate it. It’s no small deal, trust me, especially not when I initially thought I’d fail both these exams to the point of being pitied.“

“Wait...-“ Corpse attempts, his voice suddenly sounding strained and urgent but that’s the very reason he cannot seem to find or get the right words out of his system. Not that Y/N gives him any time to figure it out.

“No Corpse, you cannot change my mind. Cake and beers, we’re celebrating toni- SHIT!“ They scream as they throw open the front door, bumping square into someone standing on the other side, almost dropping their phone.

Taken aback by embarrassment and fear, they leap back, their eyes searching for the ones of the person whose personal space they just invaded. Well, to be fair, he was the one invading their personal space by standing right outside the door to their - well, to Corpse’s apartment.

The fear and irritation die down almost instantly when Y/N recognizes the person standing opposite them.

“Mind telling me why we’re talking on the phone when you could’ve come in and we could’ve had a normal person conversation?!“ They snap, ironically enough - they’re still holding the phone to their ear.

So is Corpse whos is smiling guiltily, “That’s why I called, I forgot my keys, but I got...carried...sorry.”

Well, at least this serves as proof Y/N’s not the only forgetful one.

~ ~ ~

Corpse has been stuck in his recording room for four hours now, never stopping his stream to take care of his basic human needs such as eating or going to the bathroom. This behavior of his has Y/N worried sick and unable to focus on the task at hand - an assignment they’ve been trying to finish for two hours now, sitting with their computer on their lap and looking hopelessly at the blank Word document waiting for them to fill it up while they are waiting for it to start writing itself.

Seeing as how neither are gonna happen, not until Y/N puts their mind at ease, they slowly put the laptop aside, standing up to carefully skip on over to Corpse’s recording room to check on him, stopping by the kitchen to grab him a snack and a bottle of water along the way.

The door to the darkened room is open a crack, as usual, suggesting they can enter without knocking - this also means he’ll probably not hear them even if they knock so the whole gesture would be pointless. Not that Y/N has a tendency to knock or anything... Waltzing in, they find that the only light in the room is the very faint and dark glow of the computer screen which is displaying a dark and dingy room from a first-person view of the protagonist of whatever game Corpse’s currently playing.

“Corpse?!“ They whisper-yell/hiss at him, trying their best to grasp his attention without startling him - they don’t need to be told that the game is of the horror genre and the last thing they need is for their boyfriend to flip backwards and fall out of his chair because they scared the shit out of him. “Hey?!“

Neither attempts prove futile so, despite their best instincts telling them differently, they walk over to him and tap him on the shoulder. The reaction, while within the realm of expectancy, is a lot more startled than they expected, accompanied by a scream on top of all. They’d never heard him scream in fear before, it’s quite amusing if they’re being honest.

They suppress a snicker as Corpse’s wide open eyes meet their squinting ones in the darkness, “Y/N...babe...what is it? Is everything ok?”

Y/N rolls their eyes, “No, everything isn’t ok. Your unhealthy habit of forgetting to take care of yourself, for example.” They put the snack and the bottle on the his desk, giving him their best disappointed-parent look before turning on their heel to strut their way out of the room. However, just as they are about to make their exit, they stop right at the doorframe, giving their stunned one final glance over their shoulder with a smug smirk playing across their face, “Oh and by the way, that’s what I like to call revenge.” Just like that, they leave, pushing the door back into its previous position.

And boy, is it some sweet, sweet revenge.

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sokkagatekeeper · 3 years ago

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i agree with you that cisgay zuko is probably the more accurate interpretation of the text, though i think there is a possible defense for trans zuko that might even add more depth to his arc as a gay man(a bit of a reach and def not what most ppl are thinking when they hc zuko as trans but i’m thinking it so) the fire nation glorifies binary roles, especially binary masculine roles. 1/?

there are such societies where being trans is accepted, but only binary trans ppl bc of the importance of social roles (and being gay is not bc masculine and feminine social roles are understood to be heterosexual (men are men partly bc they are attracted to women and vice versa) but not necessarily as long as they are adhered to one can switch between them but not between or have traits of both (ie feminine men or masculine women)). 2/?

so basically bc social roles are important sexism and homophobia still exist, and trans ppl can exist but must be binary and heterosexual bc of the roles/hierarchy, which are viewed as foundational to the function of society. so if zuko were to come out as trans at a young age, especially a trans man (which would be more valued bc of the value placed on masculinity) then his ability to live as a man in the fire nation is inherently dependent on a) his ability to embody binary masculinity, 3/?

and b) him liking women bc heterosexuality is what is accepted. him repressing any natural “femininity” and distancing himself from it (“ew girls”) is part and parcel with his binary fire nation understanding of what a man is, his acceptance in society/fear that he may not be allowed to live as a man if he doesn’t occupy the role properly, and his attempt to be a straight man (bc femininity belongs to women, which binary men are attracted to but not the same as in fire nation society, 4/?

as well as his view that masculinity is more valuable) (but also his inherent gayness coming out through his natural repressed distance from girls but not femininity). him dating mai is a further attempt to fulfill this social role alongside proving that he is not gay (really the two are intertwined, for him to occupy the social role of “man” in the FN one of the things among repressing femininity is also being “straight” bc gender and straightness are intertwined in FN) meeting aang is an 5/?

awakening for him bc aang is from a culture that doesn’t have binaries, and meeting sokka is as well bc sokka is bi but also still seen as a man and from an egalitarian culture where masculinity and femininity are equal. then his journey of self-acceptance embodies both accepting the fact that he’s gay and widening his understanding of what manhood is, that he can be a man without having to embody the patriarchal, heterosexual ideal of one, learning that binaries (of gender roles and 6/?

man/woman heterosexuality) are bad, masculinity is not inherently more valuable and hierarchy (rooted in binary) is bad, and so he can accept both his masculinity and femininity (which is tied to his gay arc) while still accepting that he is a man (and that gender is ultimately fake but it impacts his reality so he can occupy 8/?

the role he chooses to see fit in whatever way he wants to including being gay lol). idk if this makes sense but yeah, just wanted to present a possible analytical argument for trans zuko :) and ik this was pretty rambly but if you want any more expansion or clarification lmk!!! 9/9

okay first of all.

[ID: a screenshot from “the invasion, part 2: the eclipse.” sokka shoves azula against a wall with an angry expression. the subtitles originally said, “where is suki,” but have been edited to say, “where is seven.” end ID.]

(/j it's easy to forget what number you're on when sending multiple messages)

second of all i would like to know which real life society works like the one you, anon, described? because i haven’t heard of one in my entire life. in fact, it sounds very segregated to me and i am (for the 100th time) a believer in the intersectional theory; all types of oppression, its origins and practical purposes are intertwined, and you can’t entirely have one without the other in a collective or realistic society. saying that you can have homophobia and misogyny without transphobia especially in a nation where imperialism is glorified sounds kind of. like radical feminism. or in another word, terfs, who believe that all different kinds of oppresion exist entirely separate from each other, which makes them fail to see the bigger picture & often leads to them subscribing to ideas that are dangerous and/or harmful to (mostly) trans women and ppl of color. it’s important to understand the ideology that one is against (assuming u Are against radical feminism??) as well as the ideology one personally holds. anyway #sorry but. just so you know all of the Implications of this.

and third of all, what i’m realizing lately is that trans zuko vs cisgay zuko arguments are just the same reasoning in different wordings, and mainly (not all) what makes cisgay zuko more plausible is simply... context.

the entire atla fandom is constantly missing a very important part of the fire nation’s systematic homophobia: its ties to the fire nation’s imperialism. it doesn’t matter if it was sozin or not who outlawed homosexuality in the fn, but it does make a lot of sense taking into account that (there had to be a pre-existing prejudice among the population for that to work out, but that’s for another day) the fn is about to become a massive military machine for a world wide war, which means they are going to need to breed. homophobia has its own utility in the fn’s imperialism by helping to ensure that as many people as possible have babies. and this is also part of why gender roles matter so much; it's not just that homosexuality is outlawed, but that any deviation from a heterosexual nuclear family structure is greatly frowned-upon.

this doesn’t work if zuko were trans and had to have kids with mai, for example. why would they force him into a heterosexual cage if it’s not to make an heir and a soldier? it makes absolutely no sense knowing what we know about the fn’s politics (and using common sense, which i understand is not a hobby of many ppl in this fandom alas).

and yes, the fire nation glorifies traditionally masculine roles and characteristics, but you need to ask yourself why. is it because they glorify their imperialism and war and military? is it because traditionally masculine roles embody these characteristics of imperialism, war, and military, considerably more than traditionally feminine ones? why does this society work the way it does? why is heterosexuality a must in the fire nation? what is the practical purpose of this prejudice, this rule, this norm, according to other politics and values of this society?

the entire part 4 of this thing about how zuko’s transness and homosexuality could be related doesn’t make a lot of sense to me and i think it’s too much of a reach. there are certainly binary trans people, especially trans men, who are caught up in gender roles and end up reinforcing transphobic and even racist ideas due to it (we're on tumblr; we've all seen this & discourse around it). but the thing is, i really can't see that happening in a society that accepts trans people enough for zuko to transition at such a young age? it just doesn't make sense that zuko would internalize those transphobic ideas if everyone were fully supportive of his transition (which. i assume they were as again, he would've been so young. most people, even people who are relatively progressive when it comes to trans people, wouldn't allow that).

but regarding your part 5, it’s like. you are so close to getting it. zuko feels he needs to fill the role of the man desperately, yes!! because he was born a man and identifies as a man, but has some traditionally feminine qualities that are explicitly frowned upon in the militaristic society he was raised in. he’s gay.

you mention that meeting aang and sokka, to an extent, would make zuko open his mind to the different layers of masculinity and that he doesn’t have to be this mold of patriarchal masculinity, because aang is from a culture that doesn’t have binaries and sokka is from an egalitarian culture, is that it? well.

1) zuko can do that without being trans; in fact he does this canonically, and it also makes more sense that way, because this one of the reasons we assume he’s gay. i already covered this a thousand times before, it’s not a new argument, see my third of all etc etc.

2) (and this made me very ughhnghrrhh) the part about aang’s and sokka’s upbringings having no binary system/being egalitarian is just... not true lmao.

the air temples were segregated by gender, if you recall, and while i doubt they had any trouble with homosexuality or trans ppl, they definitely had some concept of gender binary in their everyday lives. in fact, i think the air nomads is more similar to the society with binaries but no in-betweens that you mentioned, if less strict and in a different fashion, probably not tainted by the looming spectres of imperialism and militarism and probably the only reason why this works; they are spiritual people, and aren’t obsessed with breeding even more monks. however they probably had no idea what to do with a nonbinary person, for example, and i don’t think aang was the exeption of this rule. he’s very gnc by our standards, but he still identifies as a boy, and that’s kind of relevant to the whole ember island players situation. i could make an entire post talking about this alone but i digress.

the southern water tribe... sigh. massive sigh. MASSIVE SIGH okay. the swt being an egalitarian society is just untrue. this is crucial to sokka’s arc, because he is not the one sexist exception of his tribe, or the black sheep, or whatever. sexism and its adjacent prejudices are all socialization — sokka was not born thinking girls were only useful to sew and cook and men were only useful to fight and hunt. he learned this from some external source. and it’s not difficult to see where he got it either; all those grown women were definitely more suited to fight than sokka was when zuko’s ship crashed their tribe, but sokka, at fifteen, was still the only soldier standing. this is heartbreaking, and it tells you something about the society they live in; you just have to pay attention. the only difference (and perhaps. similarity?) with the fire nation is that their gender norms and such seem to be a lot less specific and rigid (waterbending women did fight when hama was taken for example), and the specifics and rigidness there might exist are probably a consequence of the neo/colonization they suffered both from the fn and the northern water tribe (which is still a monarchy where the swt is more of a democratic-esque society By The Way; even more intersectionalism!!). but again i digress.

this part of anon’s argument bothered me personally a lot, because i think that if you are going to try and craft an argument for a headcanon with evidence and/or plausibility directly from the text, you might as well get your facts right. otherwise it just seems very inconsistent. but anyways!

now that the breaking down of this reach of an argument is done i wanted to say that like. us here on sokkagatekeeper dot tumblr dot com are ciszuko truthers and that’s not going to change because we enjoy critical analysis of not only characters but the societies and contexts they live in, as realistically as possible when talking about fiction. other people prefer to suspend their belief a little more to headcanon x as trans or x as gay or x as neurodivergent or whatever, which is objectively wrong, meaning the literal quality of it being incorrect, but not necessarily morally wrong, which tumblr tends to confuse all the damn time. being wrong in fandom is not usually that deep, and you don’t even need to acknowledge that you are wrong or prove that you are right to us personally because we aren’t looking for that. this is our reading of the text, which we've arrived at through analysis, and which we think is compelling and often fun to make jokes about. you're allowed to have a different interpretation. we have many mutuals who hc zuko as trans, and we're not like. on the verge of unfollowing them for it.

this was an interesting ask to receive and analyze and we’ve been hoping someone coherent would start a debate with us on this subject, because honestly (despite what we said in the last paragraph lol) it does annoy me when people are just. wrong about things and i can't find a coherent argument anywhere. i really do love it when people disagree with me and are still able to make points; i love being able to debate and possibly learn from it. like, we were harsh about this, but it was nice to have an ask about this that was thoughtful.

i still believe that if you are happy thinking zuko could be trans/his journey reflects that/whatever else then that’s fine. not everything needs to have a canonical justification for you to have fun. that is not the case with us, because canon is literally so good, but we are different ppl with different tastes. and we enjoy making fun of zuko for being cis more than we enjoy stretching canon to make trans zuko work. also i don’t want you ppl to go around thinking or saying this was a cis person talking okay nour they them only. okay thanks byeeee

#this was interesting .#asks #anon #zuko #analysis #i guess #atla + gender #n #with some collaboration from #s #*#anyway pls take this in good faith!! or don't idk your life #also we alternate between first person singular & plural in this when talking about ourselves. just go with it -s #yeah you know like when youre married -n #fire nation

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bigskydreaming · 3 years ago

Note

Dick is *biromantic demisexual. (Not going to let them turn him into a thot for a whole other gender just because just about every writer since Dixon has liked the idea of him screwing everything on two legs. Kyle Higgins is good boy though. Grant Morrison would be good child if not for other things.)

I will always do my best to respect other peoples' headcanons about characters' sexualities and gender, but I would appreciate the same in return. I'm aware of why many people headcanon Dick as biromantic demisexual, but the specific lines Dick has said about his views on sex and love and needing to have feelings for someone before he has sex with them, like in those specific iterations, the way those lines are said? They are not mutually exclusive with non-demi interpretations of bisexuality because plenty of bisexual people who ID specifically as bisexual, are only comfortable having sex with people they have feelings for. And yes, I'm familiar with the nuances of demisexuality as described to me by many people who identify as such, but singular lines like the ones we're referring to Dick having said? Can apply to more than one orientation or sexuality. There's sizable overlap in play here.

There is also the fact that many people change their views or approach to love and sex and relationships at MULTIPLE points throughout their lives, for a variety of reasons. (Such as many rape survivors, for instance, going through periods of hyper-sexuality in the aftermath of their assault as part of attempts to find a new footing or new normal once their previous self-perception and how they interact with romance and sexuality had undergone serious upheaval).

These are complicated and personal topics, and its one thing to ask people to respect an example of representation AS IS, even if it butts up against their own personal wishes for representation for how they specifically identify. As an example.....I'm a lifelong Bobby Drake fan. I've always identified heavily with him and projected on him, and as such, I headcanoned him as bisexual like myself for a good fifteen years or so before he was officially identified as gay in canon. Even though I had years and years of perceiving Bobby as bi, due to stories that did not contradict or invalidate that perception of him while still allowing for him to explore same gender attraction.....once he was officially established as gay, and not bi, my personal desire to see him as bi or previously perceiving him as bi does not justify attempting to speak over the fact that he was officially made representation for an identity that has a great deal of OVERLAP with my own, but is not specifically the same as I ID as.

Now, jokes about not taking DC’s verdict on things aside (and that was a mistake to be flippant about because yeah, I do actually think its important to acknowledge OFFICIAL representation on face value, and the joke I made was more about just not accepting the idea of characters being straight - because straightness, with the exception of trans straight inviduals, is not a marginalization and thus it needs no representation and doesn’t suffer an actual LOSS of representation by people not viewing the characters as straight, so I am interested in taking this time to clarify my view on that and I’ll be less flippant about that in the future)....

Point being, if Dick is written canonically LABELING himself biromantic demisexual, I am more than willing to shift my language and depictions of him accordingly. But he has not done so, and authoritatively declaring that the things pointed to as proof of that identity - but which have sizable overlap with many bisexual individuals' views of their own sexualities - does not actually MAKE him the former rather than the latter, at least not in such a way as to justify people speaking over each other in their desire to see their personal marginalization or self-image thereof, like, affirmed and validated through this character we both happen to identify strongly with.

So I'm never going to tell you that you're wrong for perceiving Dick as biromantic demisexual, or that I'm right and he's definitively bisexual, I'm simply saying my post only expressed that I've always headcanoned Dick as bisexual, and as such, I'm not remotely thrilled with this response in my inbox. I don't have the right to invalidate your view of Dick's sexuality because my own differs. The same is true of you, however.

And frankly, there's a lot about this ask that I don't love, implications wise, and I'm not all that interested in parsing it down to see where this just got off on the wrong foot with me and thus I'm reading more biphobia into it than is actually there or if like, the implications I'm reading here as to how you view bisexuality are actually there.

So instead I'll just say please read back your own ask, and with all of the above in mind, consider why this was not the best way to add follow up to a bisexual guy simply posting that he's always viewed Dick as bisexual, and what exactly about this rubbed the wrong way and sparked irritation.

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zackcollins · 3 years ago

Text

one number away || cavan biggio

masterlist

Author's Note: Hi! I'm supposed to be writing a longer fic for a hockey player. But like. I wrote this instead as a way of giving myself something else to focus on so I didn't burn myself out on the other thing by focusing too hard on it. Ya know? Variety is good sometimes. Anyways! GIF credit to anotherhockeypage!

Warnings: There is a mention of a break-in/intruder with a gun. So, if you need to avoid that, that's okay. I have other fics for you to read. There's also mention of the reader whacking said intruder with a baseball bat if you need to avoid that too. And blood if that's something the squicks you. That should be it. Let me know if I missed something though. I'll add whatever I missed!!

Word Count: 2.0k+

Title: One Number Away by Luke Combs

Additional: The reader is gender-neutral! There isn't any appearance description (except mentioning that the intruder is the same stature and height as them. But I left it vague like that so anyone could imagine the intruder being the same build as them lol), but there is the use of the pronouns "they/them" to describe them. I hope that's alright! And I hope you all enjoy this! Let me know what you think because constructive criticism is always welcomed!

Tagging: @whimsical-daydreams

You were at home on a rather quiet night. The night almost seemed too quiet as you sat in front of your television and sipped idly on some coffee. You were watching a baseball game; the Washington Nationals were playing the Tampa Bay Rays. Though, you couldn’t focus on it because you felt anxious about something. Something felt like it was wrong but you couldn’t put your finger on what that was and it was bothering you too much to give your full attention to what was happening on your television screen.

Your cellphone ringing made you startle a little because of how on edge you were. When you saw that the caller ID belonged to your best friend, Cavan Biggio, you relaxed a little. It would be nice to hear his voice because talking to him always calmed your nerves. On top of that, you hadn’t talked for a few days. He had been away with his baseball team, the Toronto Blue Jays, on a west coast road trip; you couldn’t get the time difference to match up with your schedules.

"Cavan, hi!" You said cheerfully as soon as you answered the phone. "It's been a few days. How are yuh--"

"Someone broke in and they have a gun," Cavan replied, his voice quiet. You could tell that he had been crying because of how strained his voice sounded. "Please help. I'm terrified."

You felt muscles tense all over your body. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself if Cavan was shot and injured… or worse. If you were being honest with yourself, you had slowly fallen in love with Cavan from the time you became friends after meeting by chance after a game you attended in Buffalo a few years ago. And for him to call you while he was in this life-threatening situation… yeah. You didn't have time to process that. Cavan's life was in danger. You could handle it when he was safe.

"I'll be right over, hang tight. And don't try and be a hero," you responded before hanging up the phone.

You rushed around, grabbing a jacket, your shoes, and a baseball bat out of the closet since you didn't own a gun. You didn't know how well a baseball bat would hold up against an intruder with a gun but it was better than having only your bare hands.

The ten-minute drive to Cavan’s house was a blur. The next thing you remembered was seeing the windchimes above Cavan's front door swinging back and forth in the wind through the open doorway. You took a deep breath, grabbed the bat, and stepped out of your car.

You walked into the house as cautiously and as quietly as you could. You didn't want to alert the intruder that you were there, lest anything happen to you and have Cavan be put in even more danger. As you made your way around the house, you checked carefully in every room. You were trying to see if anyone was hiding out behind or under anything. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary but you were only through the first floor of the house.

When you made it upstairs, you saw that the door to Cavan's bedroom was open. You also saw a shadowy figure standing in the doorway. You tiptoed across the floor, not wanting to alert whoever it was to your presence.

When you got to the door, you saw that the shadow belonged to someone of about your stature and height. They were pointing a gun at Cavan. Cavan was cowering on the bed with his hands up in a defensive posture. He was also chanting "please don't hurt me" while tears streamed down his cheeks.

Without warning, you swung the bat and hit the person with the gun in the side of the head. They crumpled to the floor with a pained groan as they dropped the gun and clutched their head.

They tilted their head a little to look up at you and then flitted their eyes in Cavan's direction.

"Fuck…." The person on the floor groaned as they removed their hand from their head and looked at the blood. "I can see why he married you now."

You twirled the bat in your hands. Glancing over at Cavan, you saw him shake his head vigorously and give you a pleading expression. You nodded back, giving Cavan a compassionate smile.

You took the bat and pointed it out into the hallway. "If you leave right now," you looked menacingly at the person. They were now sitting up so you took the bat and put it under their chin to make them focus on you, "we won't call the police. It's also not our problem how you explain the head wound. You broke into our house and pointed a gun at my husband. I protected him. You can come up with whatever excuse you want, coward."

“Alright, alright,” the person sighed as they got to their feet. They grabbed their gun and tucked it into their waistband before putting their shirt over the top of it. “I’ll get out of your hair.” They dabbed their head with their hand one last time, wiping the blood on their pants. "Sorry for the inconvenience."

With one last glance at you and Cavan, the intruder walked out of the room. You heard them walk down the stairs. A moment later, you heard the front door close with a resounding thud.

You rushed over to where Cavan was on the bed, draping an arm around him. You cradled his head against your chest, allowing him to cry into your shoulder. Against your better judgment, you peppered the top of Cavan’s head with soft kisses. You also mumbled soft words of encouragement and reassurance in an attempt to quash Cavan’s nerves.

It took a few minutes but Cavan eventually stopped crying. He lifted his head. You looked down at him and brushed a stray piece of hair out of his eyes. Cavan smiled, though it looked nervous and hesitant. He grabbed your wrist and directed it down to his lips. He looked up at you with hopeful eyes; you nodded as you took your other hand and brushed a different piece of hair out of his face. Cavan smiled again before he placed a gentle kiss on the inside of your wrist. He ran his thumb along the outside, right over the bone. You took your other hand and cupped Cavan’s face, leaning down and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

You sat on the bed next to Cavan and turned to face him. You grabbed his face and guided it towards you. Cavan swallowed as his eyes went wide and his cheeks slightly reddened. You smoothed your thumb along his cheekbone, humming in satisfaction as you did. Cavan blushed deeper, bringing his hand up and running it along your wrist.

“Stop me if you don’t want his, alright?” You said.

“Alri--” Cavan started to speak but you stopped him halfway by connecting your lips. Instead, he muffled the rest of the word into your mouth before he started moving his lips fluidly against yours.

As you kissed, you felt Cavan place his hand on your thighs. He ran them across the fabric there before he moved his hands up to your hips. He curved his hands along your hipbones, humming softly when he felt you wiggle against his hands. In retaliation, you brought your hands up and circled your thumbs around his chest. Cavan moaned, twitching on the bed.

"Uh… (Y/N)?" You jumped at the voice of one of Cavan’s teammates, Bo Bichette.

"Yes, Bo?" You asked, standing up off the bed and smoothing out your clothes.

"How'd you get here so fast? Cavan’s neighbour just called me when she saw some sketchy dude walk out the front door."

“I called them first,” Cavan piped up from behind you. You turned to look at him and noticed that his face was cotton candy pink and his hair was strewn all over the place. You swallowed thickly, knowing full well you had done that by kissing him.

Bo scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Leave it to you to realize that you’re in love with someone when an intruder breaks into your house with a gun.”

“Fuck off,” Cavan replied, though there was no heat behind his words. “As if you wouldn’t have called Vladdy first if the same thing happened to you.”

You huffed a bemused breath when you saw the death glare Bo gave Cavan in response. Bo looked at you sideways, though he also had no heat behind his intent. You chuckled bemusedly as you sat next to Cavan on the bed again and put your head on his shoulder. Cavan slung his arm around you, putting his hand on your upper arm and put his other hand on your knee. Bo’s face shifted from the glare of death to fondness as he looked at the pair of you.

“You both appear to be alright,” Bo said. “So I’ll go home now. Unless you want me to stay for a while?”

“No, it’s alright,” you replied, glancing up at Cavan. Cavan looked down at you and nodded before he pressed a kiss to your temple. “We’re fine here. I’m gonna spend the night to make sure he’s okay. We’ll call if we need anything, though.”

“Alright. Keep him safe. He’s known to panic and overthink almost everything.”

“I know, Bo. But thank you for reminding me.”

Bo gave a thumbs up and a soft smile before he walked out of the room. You heard him walk down the stairs, mill around in the foyer for a moment (presumably grabbing his jacket and shoes), and then open and close the front door. After waiting a moment to make sure Bo wasn't coming back, you lifted your head off of Cavan's shoulder and turned to look at him.

Cavan took that opportunity to lean in, pressing his lips softly to yours. You showed no sign of resistance so Cavan kept going. You did, however, melt into the kiss, cupping Cavan's cheek. You loved this feeling of kissing Cavan; you wished you never had to stop. You were enveloped in Cavan's cologne. It was a scent you didn't know the name of but it smelled vaguely of the ocean. It was something that had always been very soothing to you because the beach had been a happy place for you growing up; seeing the waves crashing the shore was very relaxing for you.

When you pulled back, Cavan wrapped you in a hug. He buried his head in the crook of your neck. You stayed like that for a moment, Cavan, sniffling softly into the crease of your shoulder and neck. When they pulled back, Cavan looked you in the eyes. His eyes were slightly wet and his cheeks had small tear tracks on them.

"I thought you'd never do that." Cavan smiled, his teeth slightly showing. It made him look so damn adorable to you.

You smiled back, a small blush creeping across your face. "I was just waiting for the right moment." You replied as you wiped away the tear stains on Cavan's cheeks.

Cavan smiled again, rubbing his thumb over your wrist. You blushed harder. Getting your feelings reciprocated was the best feeling in the world. I made you feel like a teenager that was just understanding what love was again. You also felt so alive, like you had finally discovered who you were and what you wanted. It was liberating.

"Hey, Cavan?" You grabbed Cavan's attention by tilting his face to look at you. Cavan looked expectantly at you, raising an eyebrow in anticipation. "How about I just never leave after I spend the night tonight? Somebody needs to protect the house while you're away. And we're dating now, so..."

Cavan smiled, wrapping you in a giant hug. He was smiling as he pulled back.

"Absolutely."

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nose-bandaid · 4 years ago

Text

stud.hui.o fanatic

hello!! i see that your requests are open so,,, could i request a non-romantic gender-neutral reader & hui scenario where the reader brings food to the studio late at night and convinces hui to eat and get some rest bc everyone is worried abt him? maybe with some platonic hand-holding.........? thank u so much 😖

Hui (Hwitaek) x (gender neutral) Reader - platonic fluff:D | 2.1k words

synopsis: late night phone calls weren’t uncommon when you’re lee hwitaek’s best friend, because more often than not, the man is sucked into the void known as his studio, and it’s your responsibility to drag him out of there.

a/n: hey there anon!! gosh when i say that i loved this prompt i really do mean it, so i hope that you enjoy this fic and that it’s what you were looking for:) apologies for the multitude of italicized words they just felt necessary.

=====

Your phone had to buzz endlessly for a second time to bring you to your senses. It was far too early in the morning for a phone call, and typically, you would’ve just ignored it and gone back to bed. But when you read the caller ID, you begrudgingly hit the answer button.

“Wooseok?” His name came out slurred as you tried to rub the sleep out of your eyes. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“Hi y/n, sorry to call you at this time, but Hui’s been in the studio literally all day, plus for like, half of yesterday, and we can’t get him to go home and rest. Practice ended like an hour ago, but he’s still in there.” His reply came out in a tired rush, and his voice was hushed as if he was trying to hide from someone. That someone probably being Hwitaek himself.

You caught onto what Wooseok was asking of you. This wasn’t the first time you had to drag him out of the studio. Being his best friend had many perks, way more perks that outweighed the few downsides that came along with it, and one of them was that you now carried the responsibility of kicking some sense into his overworking butt when he fell into this overloaded phase.

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes.” You answered without asking for any more details and bid your brief goodbyes before hanging up. Then, you got changed into some comfier clothes to match the chillier weather outside and grabbed your car keys.

It was late, and the only restaurant still open on your way to the studio was a small shop next to a karaoke bar, and you stopped by to pick up some fried rice. It wasn’t the most exciting meal out there, but for a 2am dinner run — or rather, breakfast-lunch-dinner run, if you were Hwitaek — it seemed pretty fitting.

When you arrived at the building and made your way to the studio floor, you saw the tall boy sitting on one of the benches in the hallways. He was hunched over, scrolling mindlessly on his phone and you could tell he was trying his hardest to stay awake for his leader’s sake.

You said a soft greeting as you approached him and he sent you a smile before letting a worried expression wash over him again. The door to the studio slightly ajar and Wooseok gestured for you to take a peek into the small gap, placing a warm hand on your back as he stood behind you.

“Just look at him.” He whispered, and you stared at your best friend working away on his computer, seemingly without any breaks to even think about what to do next. He simply clicked a few times, played something, shook his head, and then repeated the process all over again.

You turned back to Wooseok and began ushering him away from the door. “I’ll take care of this. I’m also guessing he hasn’t eaten much—” He nodded in agreement when you said that. “—so I brought some food with me. Go home and get some rest, I know you’re tired, just tell the others that I’ll bring him home... eventually.” You smiled reassuringly, but had to add in that “eventually” because deep down, you knew how just stubborn Hwitaek could be, and getting him out of the studio was a hefty task. Add in the upcoming planned promotions, then you get an even more stubborn version of him to work with — one that doesn’t understand the boundaries between work and self care.

Wooseok nodded slowly and your heart melted at the exhausted expression on his face. They’ve all been working so hard recently, heck, their packed schedules were a constant these days, and you could sense that it was taking a toll on them. Though no matter how tired they were, they always made sure to look out for each other, and you wanted to do your best to help ease at least some of the stress off the group. With a little more convincing, you finally got Wooseok to leave, giving him a hug before he did, and then you turned towards the task at hand. Even though the door was already opened, you knocked once to grab Hwitaek’s attention.

No answer.

You knocked again, this time calling out his name a couple times.

When he still didn’t answer, you gently opened the door all the way and let out a sigh when you fully took in his appearance.

“Hey, Hui.”

Still no answer.

You walked closer to him and leaned over to get a better look at his face. His eyes looked like they were seconds away from slumber, and his head rested on his hand like a makeshift pillow. “Hui? Hwitaek? Hui? Pentagon of Leader? Huiiiiiii?”

You placed the takeout gently next to his keyboard and then slowly nudged it so that it touched his arms resting on the table. When he didn’t respond to that either — and opted to mess around with the dynamics of the percussion in his composition instead — you stood straight up and let out a huff.

“Lee Hwitaek!” You called boldly and for the first time that day, he took notice of your presence.

“Oh, hey y/n. Could you check if this sounds okay?” He greeted you nonchalantly as if you hadn’t travelled all this way in the middle of the night to see him, and proceeded to play an excerpt of what he had splayed out on the screen. You stood there speechless until the music finished blasting from the speakers and then just stared at his expectant face.

“Hui you need to snap out of it! I know this comeback means a lot to you and you want to get the work done but you can’t do it like this.” You told him exasperatedly.

“What do you mean I can’t do it like this? I’ve always been doing it like this, and it works every time.” He defended, and he replayed the section for you to hear, but you still refused to pay attention to it.

“You do this every time only to have one of us literally drag you out of the studio! And then you face the consequences days later ‘cause your body’s exhausted, your mind’s exhausted — don’t you think you’ll work better if you were refreshed?” You moved his hand away from the mouse when he tried to go back to work and ignore you.

“I just have a little bit left to do and I’ll finish up soon, I promise.” He muttered. It was almost as if he was entranced by the idea of never ending work hours, and Lee Hwitaek was being sucked into the void of his monitor right before your eyes.

“I’ll finish it up soon, my ass. We’ve been best friends for what? 12 years now? I know you’re lying when you say that, and I know that you’ll be sick by the time you ‘finish’ this and then you’ll regret it later. It’s the same cycle over and over again and you need to stop, please I’m begging you, we’ve been through this so many times already.” You tried to calm yourself down. Getting frustrated over his stubbornness wasn’t going to do any good, if anything, it’ll only make the problem worse. He finally gave you his full attention when he noticed that you took a deep breath to collect yourself. Taking a deep breath has always been a sign that you meant business.

And yet he still replied to you blatantly. “If I don’t finish it up all at once, I’m going to forget about it later.”

You rubbed your forehead, trying to get rid of the annoyance that was building up within you. “And then you’re going to finish that part, only to think of another idea to work on right after that. Like I said, it’s a cycle and you need to realize that. Please, I’ll give you 30 minutes to finish what you’re doing and write your notes down, and then we’re going to take a walk, no matter what you say.”

He nodded at your firm tone and quietly got back to work after muttering a small “okay”. You spent the next 20 or so minutes watching him work, occasionally feeding him spoonfuls of the rice you brought, until he finally shut everything down and turned to you to scarf down what was left in the foam container.

“I didn’t realize how hungry I was.” He pointed out the obvious when there was no rice left, and he stretched before getting up from his seat. You giggled when you heard his joints crack at the sudden movement.

“Geez, you really are getting old, huh? And that’s what happens when you get stuck in sitting in this chair for more than 24 hours.” You lightly smacked his head to get some sense into him. “You don’t take care of yourself and don’t realize that your body needs food.”

He rolled his eyes, giving in to your light scolding. “Okay, okay, you’re right.”

“Sir, I am always right.”

-----

Not too long later, you were both taking a walk outside the building, entering the quiet night life of the city.

The winter air had a chill to it and you shivered a little, taking Hwitaek’s free hand into yours. He responded by squeezing it gently.

Small physical affirmations like these have always got you through your friendships. As people who both relied on them as a source of comfort, it’s what allowed you to be as close as you were now. Though there were times where you’d have your disagreements — take the little argument you had earlier — holding hands especially, has always been what you used to remind yourselves that in the end, you still loved each other. That you were still best friends.

“I’m so proud of you, you know that?” You told him quietly.

He laughed. “What? Am I getting a pep talk now?”

Your cheeks heated at his words and you stopped walking, pulling him into a stop as well. “I’m being serious here!”

He gave you a teasing look. “I know you are, and I appreciate you always coming to take care of me. Even though I’m not in your shoes, I do know how stubborn I can get and how frustrating it must be for you guys to watch me make the same mistakes over and over again.” He let out a sigh and scratched the back of his head. “But some habits are hard to break, yeah?”

You let out a small hum in agreement. It was true, everyone had their own habits — some good, some bad — and while Hwitaek had a fair share of endearing habits, between you and the rest of the boys, his were also the most concerning. You’d all rather have him stay healthy than have him work his soul away on some songs that can ultimately, only do the group so much. And getting him to realize that was a challenge, but it was a challenge you were all willing to take.

Your walk didn’t have a set destination, and you crossed streets and changed directions on a whim, adding more thrill to your little adventure. At one point, you even stopped at one of the convenience stores still open so that he could buy himself a drink. Which ended up simply being a carton of milk after you insisted that no, coffee at 3 am is not going to help him rest at all. You allowed him to at least get chocolate milk though. And you spent your time talking about anything unrelated to his work, sharing stories that you’ve missed during your time apart.

The two of you pretended like it wasn’t the middle of the night and that you weren’t freezing in the cold because neither of you were responsible enough to have prepared layers for the weather. Because so what if it was pitch dark and the only sign of life were the lonely taxis that drove by? If the only sound joining the chirps of the crickets were your laughter and you couldn’t feel the tips of your ears anymore? Your best friend finally had the chance to rest and be himself once again, and you’d be there for him no matter what time of day it was. As long as you got to see his shoulders relax a little and his smile genuinely reach his eyes again. As long as you knew that he’d listen to you, as his best friend, and that he’d let you take care of him when you needed to. It didn’t matter how often that had to happen.

When you turned the corner back to the entrance of the entertainment building, you looked at Hwitaek and nodded your head towards the floors upon floors towering above. “You wanna go back to the studio and work for a little while longer to let me hear what you’ve got so far?”

Getting him to take a break was already a miracle, and as much as you wished he would at least spend the night resting, you felt bad for dragging him out like this. You understood that he probably worked best if he was allowed to follow his train of thoughts without disruption, as bad as that habit was.

Thinking that he would agree to your offer, you were already making your way towards the entrance. But to your surprise, he grabbed your wrist to stop you and instead gave you a relaxed smile.

“Nah.” He pulled you closer to him and slung an arm around your shoulder, leaning into it a little bit. His body was pleasantly warm against yours.

“Let’s just go home, work can wait.”

#pentagon #pentagon fanfic #hui #pentagon hui #lee hwitaek #pentagon x reader #hui x reader #pentagon fluff #hui fluff #pentagon scenario #pentagon imagine #hui scenario #hui imagine #pentagon wooseok #wooseok #requests #nose-bandaid

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needletail · 4 years ago

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Nintendogs vs Nintendogs + Cats: a review and comparison.

There’s no doubt that most people want a new Nintendogs game for the Nintendo Switch. But when I see these posts, very few of them are referencing the 3ds variant of the game, but rather the original ds version that everyone continues to know and love.

The addition of cats is Nintendogs + Cats’ most notable feature. It was, while cute and fun for a short period of time, notably worse than its predecessor. But why is that? The formula stayed roughly the same, but the charm didn’t quite hit.

Before we dive into this: these are my opinions on the games, and personal comparisons. Every person experiences things differently, and will likely have different opinions.

We can start with breaking down the original Nintendogs. The graphics have not aged well, but the charm and entertainment factor have. While replaying, I found that the general ambience and the music used endeared me further to the game, and I wanted to play more. The half hour timer on going for walks was frustrating (as was the stamina system), but it otherwise engaged me more to figure out where I wanted to go. The map feels surprisingly big with so much to do, and the side-scrolling walk screen keeps the mystery alive in what you’ll encounter. The competitions were fun and the voice recognition system may have been even better than the 3ds incarnation. The only thing that really suffered were the graphics - but this game is 15 years old and this was advanced for its time, so we can let that slide. The dogs can be a little strange to look at at times, but they’re expressive and distinct, which is what matters in a pet simulator.

The information you can take in is optional, but an exciting part of the game for those who are interested. Your dog’s profile is detailed but easy to understand, going as far as to tell you what it ate last. There’s something so charming about it being displayed as if it were a document you had in front of you - it brings another element of immersion into this sim.

[Image ID: a photograph of the informational sheet on Nintendogs. It includes the name, gender, breed, trainer, time together, coat, hunger, thirst, and things eaten. The trick list and contest results are also on this screen.]

From cars passing by to horns in the distance and dog barks from somewhere vaguely nearby, the sound design of Nintendogs is audibly aged, but still strong. The few tracks spread in the game are iconic, and stay in my head a lot longer than I’d like to admit.

The competitions are another huge highlight of the original nintendogs. The banter between the hosts, Ted and Archie, is something that continues to be remembered. Everyone’s seen the line “you make me feel like a man, Archie”, and the banter they keep up in each competition is less like a mindless tapping chore and just more entertainment. The settings are surprisingly realistic - less so on the obedience, but the ring set up for agility certainly is. The balance between realism and fun is another part of why Nintendogs appealed to all audiences.

Agility is my personal favourite event, and the same goes for a lot of people I’ve met. There’s a level of interactivity here that isn’t met by the successor (something we’ll touch on later). Guiding your dog over hurdles and through tunnels, and later having to balance speed with accuracy - it’s an event that keeps you, the player, engaged. It becomes a sort of fine art once you hit the Championship level, as your dog, by that point, is likely going to be very fast and have a mind of its own, often trying to predict which obstacles it’s going to go through.

[Image ID: an angled photograph of the starter agility training course. The dog is laying on the green, and the hurdles and tunnels are in view.]

Disc is in both versions, and is fun in its own way. I, personally, don’t tend to use the disc competition - in the original Nintendogs, the projectiles can be a little speedier than you intend them to be, and the dogs are a little too determined to hold onto their toys. But, with a well-trained dog, this event can be as fun as anything else. In the original, you didn’t have to contend with the other dogs - something that I’ve grown to appreciate over the years. But, like with the event that removed Agility, I’ll be looking at how the changes fared later.

Obedience is held on a stage, and is a fun event for people who take the time to train their dogs. Your dog can typically learn three or four tricks a day (depending on the dog), and between the tricks listed in the Obedience Guide Book and the unlisted tricks that your dog can learn, you can usually blow the competition out of the park. It definitely requires the most time and effort out of all of the events, and it can be frustrating if your dog suddenly stops listening - but the rewards are surprisingly good. It’s always fun to have a well-trained Nintendog, if only because showing them off when I was a child was my favourite thing to do.

Obviously, competitions are the main money-makers in these games. Tackle a solid few of them, and you’ll find yourself able to afford another dog or two. Though your room is limited to three dogs, there’s also a Hotel to keep some other dogs in. As time progresses and you gain more of a bond with your dog(s), you’ll unlock more breeds.

Something that went over my head when I was a child was the method to unlock Jack Russells, specifically. You need to find an incredibly rare book - something which I don’t ever recall doing, and still haven’t. I found this information via the wikia, so I’m not too sure how accurate is, but it is an interesting breed to lock behind a time and patience-based method.

[Image ID: an angled image of a German Shepherd laying on its side. In the corner is an idea bubble.]

Overall, Nintendogs is a solid and fun pet simulator, and it’s clear why so many people have such good memories. The dogs are filled with personality (even being expressive enough to show you when they’re angry vs happy), the competitions are engaging, and though the format will become stale after playing daily for a long time, it’s always a fun game to come back to after a period of time.

Which is why it’s unsurprisingly that it gained a sequel.

I remember being ecstatic when Nintendogs + Cats was shown in advertisements on television. When I got the 3ds, I also got a copy of Nintendogs + Cats. The Golden Retriever version, specifically, but I do own all three. For some reason? As people got bored with it, they usually gifted me them.

At first blush, it’s almost as charming as the original. The graphics style handles much better than the original, with slightly more realistic movements, and less cardboard-y models. I much prefer the Nintendogs + Cats models to the originals, for obvious reasons - though their movements can be a little repetitive and strange at times, and a lot less expressive than the originals. But that said, I much prefer the Kennel system of petting and exploring the dogs and their behaviours (limited as they are) before you adopt, and I enjoy sorting through colours or getting unique colours/patterns. The rare white variants used to be my obsession, as a child.

[Image ID: a german shepherd holding a present in Nintendogs + Cats. The model is significantly better than the original Nintendogs model.]

Immediately, though, there’s a lot less ambience in Nintendogs + Cats. I play with my volume up all the way, and it’s typically just my dogs and cat making noises. I miss the cars going by and the general background noise that the game can provide. It feels just a little too silent, and the music tracks are repetitive and unmemorable for the most part. Obviously sound design don’t make or break the game, so I won’t harp on this point for too long.

The gameplay is...fine? I’m not a fan of petting a shadow of my dog, but I understand they did that for 3D purposes (something which most people didn’t use, to the point that the 2DS was made. I play on a 2DS). The camera control is an incredibly nice feature to have, the showering minigame is a little more thorough. They didn’t really add anything to the care features, though. If anything, they took away a lot of experiences - reading the care books and instead guiding you through the tricks one by one instead of as you want, forcing you to learn a specific set of tricks before you can move on to the next ones. The game is far more hand-holdy, which can be frustrating at multiple points. But, hey. There’s cats! Let’s talk about the cats.

What’s their purpose? Not much. Which is fine, although they take up a slot in your three-pet designation. As cute as the cats are, they definitely got done dirty. There’s three selections to choose from (Standard, Oriental, and Long-hair), with multiple colours, but not much depth beyond that. Obviously, the cats were just a cute addition - I do like having my little cat wandering around the house with my two dogs, and I know from past experiences that once you bond with the cat, it’ll go out and get presents for you if you leave your ds on. Gaining affection with the cats is very slow-going and if you’re someone who likes your pet simulations to be more interactive, it might be wiser to stick with the dogs. I’m not complaining against the addition of cats - it just could’ve been done much smoother, with better mechanics enabled. Be it adding some breeds and a proper grooming minigame to maintain them, or the ability to train them but have them be much harder than the dogs. There were many ways to put cats into the game, and I just don’t think they hit as intended.

So, how did they do with the competitions? Well.

The short answer: they’re pretty bland, and a downgrade from the original. The long answer...

[Image ID: a white cocker spaniel chewing on a banana lure.]

In the competitions, there’s no more Ted/Archie banter. It’s just Ted. Doing his thing. I honestly do not read the text for this game, and instead tap quickly to progress to the events.

Replacing Agility comes Lure Coursing. I’m not sure about other countries, but that’s an incredibly niche section of dog sporting here, and it’s also notorious for being...very boring. And in the game, it lives up to that. Instead of guiding your dog through obstacles, you wind the cog of a lure and honk it to get the dog to follow it. Sometimes you honk it to get them over hurdles. I have to admit, I usually space out when I’m training my dogs with this - it’s an easy moneymaker once you’ve trained them up to Nintendogs Cup level, but it’s easily the most mind-numbing event. Anything would’ve been better. If they didn’t want to implement Agility, there are other dog sports that could’ve suited well; guiding your dog through the Flyball course and using its name to bring it back until it could do it on command (maybe even utilising a team of three, for reason as to why you can have up to three dogs), or sledding, using your dog to pull a lightweight sled (on wheels) through a course in a race against other dogs (or, again, even using your trio). There could have even been scenting sport in which you teach your dog how to scent and go off to find a mark, or herding. The point is: lure coursing is the most unengaging thing to put in a game.

The Disc competition barely changes, so I won’t say much. I don’t particularly enjoy having the other dogs in the ring to compete with as it becomes all too easy for them to interfere heavily with your own dog, but I understand why it was implemented and know that a lot of people enjoy it. I prefer the throwing speed and the control you can have over the disc, and will admit that overall, the Disc competition is generally improved.

But then you come to the Obedience Trial. AR Cards are mandatory. You don’t have a surface to put your AR Cards on, or lost them years ago? Then you can’t do it. I actually ordered AR Cards, having thrown out my old ones due to damages and general...lack of use. As of this post, I have been unable to play the Obedience Trial, so I can’t say much on whether the system has improved. I do know that AR Cards can work on a laptop screen or something similar, but the 3ds camera is pretty horrible and can glitch out, making it unreliable for screen-based AR cards. Unfortunately.

[Image ID: a white cocker spaniel standing on an AR Card.]

The walking system is fine. I love being able to go to different routes (as limited as they can be - but the original was no saint to repetitiveness once you knew the whole map), and I like having to go between grass patches, with a chance for a surprise present. I think the addition of the BARC stores are a cute touch, and the Miis walking their own dogs are cute, too. The interactions between your dog and theirs is based on your dog’s personality as well as theirs, which makes sense - but there’s basically three outcomes. More than the original, but meeting with other dogs tends to be to see if you can backtrack when you’re near the end of the walk by having them invite you to the cafe or park, or to get presents from Streetpass miis. I like the cone minigame to test your control over the dog and its leash, and as a rule, I just...like it. It’s relaxing. I don’t prefer it over the original, but I don’t prefer the original over it. They both have their benefits and downfalls. The biggest upside to + Cats’ system is that you can take your dog on as many walks as you want.

Interactivity isn’t really a thing, with + Cats. Whereas in the original you could legitimately piss off your dog and it would bark and snarl at you for a while before you regained its trust, this game doesn’t punish you for much. I poked and prodded at my dog for a while, and it didn’t really do much for me. This is a game where you sort of just have cute looking models that hold up surprisingly well for their time, and that’s it. There’s not much game to the game, as it were - and that’s from a game where the gameplay was limited as it was.

Adding multiple accessories to your pets is a very nice addition, albeit expected. Overall, though, the gameplay has been significantly dumbed down and while I understand that kids play it, my generation played Nintendogs as small children and we got by just fine. It’s a very intuitive game, and it’s almost insulting how little Nintendogs + Cats thinks of its audience.

Another nice addition to Nintendogs + Cats, though, is body type for your pets. There’s a few that your pet can be: underfed, skinny, optimal, plump, and overfed. I usually have optimal dogs, but apparently plump and overfed dogs run slower and as such they do poorer in competitions, which is a pretty neat feature to have in-game.

In the short of it, Nintendogs + Cats is fine, but Nintendogs (the original) is Good. I have a lot more nostalgia for Nintendogs which may cloud my opinion, but playing it in 2020 is still fun, and I’m especially happy to play the Agility competition.

For an interactive pet simulator with fun competitions and plenty to do, Nintendogs is the way to go. For a pretty enough game with simplistic gameplay, Nintendogs + Cats is the way to go.

Both games have their perks, but I certainly have a clear favourite. If a Switch edition of Nintendogs ever happened, I’d much prefer the original style with some of the quality of life changes made in the successor. In the end, it’s all up to what you’re looking for in a game - but as someone who’s looking for a fun time, I’m a sucker for the originals.

(Note: I have not played the knock-off Nintendogs for Switch, and would appreciate input on if it’s worth buying or not. Reviews are poor at best, as far as I can tell, though.)

#nintendogs #nintendogs + cats #video games #game review #eph reviews

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tour-moved · 4 years ago

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Hi. Sorry to say but you but you cannot be for bi ppl and than be against the rest of the mspec community, it is hypocritical and just does more harm that good.

People claim they ‘don’t understand’ bisexuality and ‘how you could like both boys n girls n everything else?’, and you are indirectly part of that problem where people refuse understand how you cant ‘just choose to either be gay or straight’, by your own refusal to understand how people could be mspec/ like more than one gender and not completely identify with being bi. You are actively doing harm with the same ideologies people use against bi individuals. I hope your seeing the connection here and sit on this.

Like, you can understand how ppl like more than one gender, you should be able to understand how people can like to further define how they like those genders.

Also, ur life would probably significantly improve if you directed your anger towards people who are the actual problem and not other lgbts. Like, for example, transphobia won’t magically end if ppl stop identifying as another mspec sexuality that’s not bi, you understand that, right?

You know, people also like to say that bisexuality excludes trans people! Shocker! Are you starting to see how this may just be all absolute bullshit to pit two lgbts against each other and turn our attention away from the root of the problem; transphobes? That’s just one example of blame between mspecs though, there are more, and you see the same thing with other lgbt communities.

Hope you take the time to read this and realize maybe what you’re doing is messed up and do some research. I’m sincerely wishing you the best in your journeys.

Here’s a simple scenario before I send this ask, hopefully this will help you understand my perspective more:(using just pan in my example bc I don’t want to make it too long and you can do more research on your own of other sexualities and make the connection)

Bi: attraction to more than one gender

Person 1: well hey, that sounds like me!

Person 2: well hey, that sounds like me!

Pan: attraction regardless of gender

Person 1: Oh, well, bi fits me better and is a more accurate label in expressing how I relate to my sexuality :)

Person 2: Oh, well, pan fits me better and is a more accurate label in expressing how I relate to my sexuality :)

(Of course, this is very very simplified as an example. Good luck and sorry for any bad grammar.)

im going to explain this simply, pansexuality as a label is from transphobic origins and biphobic origins. i am not saying every goddamn pansexy is either of those things.

What you’re doing is redefining bisexuality to redeem your own mspec label. if people are uncomfortable iding wih bisexuality as a mspec user, its internalized biphobia because “it doesn’t feel right, its constricting”.

it’s too early for this so if any mutuals want to add on or wtv please do

also read this carrd u fucking freak

#anon #answered

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zunnyzee · 3 years ago

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This pride, I've been thingking about a few things that, well, are kind of fucked up.

Like, we as a community were so ready to label ourselves we've got hundreds of identities, and it kind of makes the community harder to navigate for those who are questioning imo (in my opinion). There's even a flag for questioning, like, we're all queer, but we've sectioned ourselves off in such a way it makes me feel uneasy. Our labels are so specific, and I feel like it has impacted those who are clearly part of the community, but question it because they need to feel like the label is just right. Then again, I understand the joy of finding the right way to express yourself through your label, it's something we all share as people, but look at what enviornment it's created at the same time. Bisexuals saying pans are inheritably biphobic, pan folk saying to be bi is to be enby, or trans, phobic, you've got people saying that men can't call themselves lesbians and people saying that you can't be both bi and gay, and then you hear how bi people fight to not be seen as 'basically gay or straight' but actually bi' and then you see all the transmascs that still have a sort of connection to their agab, and we've brewed so much hate within ourselves and we're excluding ourselves and we're invalidating ourselves. We are a diverse community, and with that comes many different beliefs about the way our community actually is. I can see how someone can be insulted about how someone else interprets gender and sexuality, I can. We have people in the community who's identity means everything to them because finding out that they were queer changed their life for the better and they felt like a real person for the first time and their eyes were opened and they were free, and then other people use those same labels as if it were a choice, an aesthetic, and it can come off as almost disrespectful in a way. It'd be like if someone were cis amab and they just go 'you know, I feel so much like a boy that I'm going to id as a transman, going from man to even more of a man because I feel so comfortable in my agab and it feels right' like you could see how a trans-trans man (afab) would feel invalidated, right? There's the whole thing about diversity and not everyone is going to be the same, but we made labels mean something, we took the slurs that the cishet used for us and said that we would actually define ourselves, but a label means nothing because we don't really use it like a label anymore. People are getting away with thinking aces/aros aren't part of the community because we've made our labels exclusive somehow. We've got he/him lesbian controversy, which I am shocked to see from the one group that wasn't supposed to discriminate based on gender identity. We're no better than the cishets sometimes, being completely honest. Some gays think dating someone trans automatically makes you bi, gay, or straight, completely ignoring their identity. And to be fair, all these people are vastly small compared to the overall supporting group, but they add up, they really do. Don't even get me started on sexist queers. We made our own definitions, then we made them so specific that we can't even support some of our peers cuz we don't know what the fuck their flag means. And don't say we support everyone, it doesn't matter because you know people are always inventing ways to ruin this shit, like pedos/maps beastiality, and fucking cops (copgender exists). We're not even ready to talk about Mogai, I swear to you we are not the all accepting group you think we should be, and we don't have to be. As a community, we don't agree on what it means to be in the community, some of us don't accept queer as a label despite its current popularity, we are kind of fucked up and we have to admit that. I think that we are creating way more labels than we need, and we are separating ourselves and we are hurting each other. Some people think 'if you identify as y you have to be z' and that gets some people so mad, but at the same time, think about it, without some unity within smaller communities, what does their label even mean? We are not respecting each others

spaces, and I think it's because we over label. But what can we do now? Take those labels away? Tell them they can't id as queer because they're doing it wrong? We don't have the guts, or the general understanding of definitions to do that. We're just supposed to be 100 percent accepting of everyone, and it just makes me feel weird to think about this because I get that some people have a weird relationship with their queerness, but we also act as if we need to constantly define it. And then we go and define it, and then people redefine it like 4 times over because it's not good enough, which is, there is supposed to be some diversity in every group, every label, for anything involving people, but too much and too little are problems in their own right. Micro micro micro labels make people divided and feel like they are different from the others when they could have been a more united group, and not enough micro labels means that people feel like they are conforming to one group and don't feel the unity because of the overwhelming differences. I don't think we're balanced is all I'm really trying to say out of this, I don't like our community as is, it's confusing, it's harmful, and it's divided, and I don't have a solution, which makes me even sadder. A lot of our issues within the community is thinking we're different from each other, from my experience. I've been nb since I was probably at least 6, and I came out as bi only 4 years ago, I'm only 18 but I've been here a little while, I've gone through many phases and stages, and some things were just so unnecessary. Too many times I doubted myself because I saw someone else expressing my identity in a way I couldn't relate to at all, made myself question if I was just cis and faking, and it really could have been avoided, I could have had more confidence if my community just had my back. But it doesn't. And so I have to be queer on my own, I have to keep myself to myself because I can't exist in my own community without my identity being questioned by others. We are not the all accepting group we want to be, but we could be if we agreed on literally anything. But we can't cuz we're too busy accepting every idea of queerness, regardless of anything. Anyways, this is just what I was thingking, I probably didn't word everything exactly as I worded it but I just had to get it out my mind and I'm too lazy too proofread, and plus proofreading might cause me to sugarcoat this even further so. This is my stop, I guess.

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lover-of-skellies · 4 years ago

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idk if we're allowed to make conversation from this but i just wanna add from like, as someone who literally cant be myself because my parents dont "believe" other genders don't exist like... the reason its sensitive is because its like, when you tell someone to their face that, even though they've been tortured in their own mind for years for how much they dont fit into what they've been set into for society, their feelings are invalidated because you dont think it's real... it stings. It's very hard to explain this to people who have always been comfortable with their gender their whole life because it's something you have to feel to know exactly what it means.

The reason people snap isnt because its a matter of differing opinion. It's because telling someone you dont believe outside of the gender binary denies the existence of people who are there and also forces people into places they physically and mentally cannot fit in because their brains are not made that way. The feeling isn't really... "i dont like these attributes, i think more like this," it's literally your brain fighting against you and telling you that somethings not right. I know for me growing up, id have a panic attack when we had "girls vs boys" activities because i didnt know what side to pick and i eventually just refused to participate. I didn't know anything about genders outside of the binary at that point. I thought there were only two options and i was just insane for feeling disgusted when called a she. I had excitement when called a he. Genuine excitement. To the point where people thought i was weird and avoided me in a tiny class of 10 students, you know, when there's limited options. Leaving me pretty much alone.

I attributed words to myself like "tomboy" or "crossdresser" because i had nothing else at the time. But i knew something was wrong my whole life.

Also, i should mention, when i say kid. I mean elementary school. Even in preschool once I shouted "i want to be a boy" and the teacher dragged me aside and screamed at me for saying such a thing and to never say it again. That literally made me suffer in silence for 5 years.

It literally took me until my 20s to feel comfortable with myself for once because i was surrounded by people telling me i was crazy, wrong, and everything i felt was just fake. I'm still hidden away from most people in my real life because I'm absolutely terrified.

It's not really a matter of believing in it or not. It's a matter of whether or not you have sympathy for other's feelings... but the problem is, no one ever explains that, because we've all been so broken and beaten down enough, many people killed or nearly killed, just for being who we are, that it's either fight or flight.

It's not forcing opinions. It's a beg for help.

Or, at least, that's my experience. I'm sure others are different. But i know there's a certain mutual feeling between everyone whose gone through realizing they dont fit the gender they were assigned at birth.

Ahhhh, yeah, I gotcha dude

To be honest, I'm not really sure what to say to add onto/in response to that, but I did read all of it, and I appreciate you wanting to go into a little more detail and explain it to me like you did

Because my gender isn't anything I've really ever been bothered by or thought about too much, I can only somewhat understand what you're saying, but I don't think I'll ever truly be able to completely understand it, to its fullest extent

Regardless of that, I'm more than willing to at least try to grasp it all as best I can. It's not fair that anyone who identifies as a gender other than the one they were biologically born as (or doesn't feel that they really aren't any one gender in particular) has to go through as much as they do. It's not fair that anyone who's attracted to the same gender, multiple genders, or no genders at all need to go through as much as they do, either

I'm someone who believes in expressing love and acceptance toward others, rather than anything negative. I just want everyone to be happy and to get a chance to do the things that bring them the most joy or make them feel the most at peace

#anon #asks #I'm very soft ok #I just think everyone deserves good things and happiness #especially those that have spent a lot of their life suffering in one way or another

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blucmoon · 3 years ago

Photo

━ ☾ ⊹ ( im jaebum, cis male , he/him ) say hello to AE YONGGUK, the TWENTY SIX YEAR OLD that seems to have a lot in his hands with HIS job as a STALL OWNER, DRUMMER AND OCCASIONAL BARTENDER! beyond that, they seemed RESPONSIBLE AND TRUSTWORTHY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of EVASIVE AND INSECURE though. HE seems to live in a 4 BEDROOM HOUSE in YUNHWA, SOUTH KOREA. anything else to add? oh, yeah! he also RUNS A STALL CALLED “KODACHROME” WHERE HE TAKES PHOTOS FOR IDS, SELLS PRINTS AS WELL AS BOOKS SESSIONS FOR PHOTOSHOOTS.

basic information

full name: ae yongguk

nickname(s): guk, yonggu (hasn’t figured out why)

age: 25

date of birth: january 6th, 1995

birthplace: seoul, south korea.

hometown: yunhwa, south korea.

current location: yunhwa, south korea.

ethnicity: asian.

nationality: korean

gender: cismale

pronouns: he / him

orientation: demiromantic, bisexual.

occupation: stall owner and drummer of a band called “crux”. sometimes he helps at his aunt’s bar in busan for some extra money.

living arrangements: house #4012, hwesakgu.

language(s) spoken: korean, english (conversational)

physical appearance

faceclaim: got7’s im jaebum “jb”

hair color: like almost everyone, he has naturally brown hair but throughout the years he’s dyed it blonde or black a couple of times. right now, it’s black and he has managed to grow it to a length he really likes below his chin. yongguk can be usually seen with his hair down and every so often he puts it up in a half updo. whenever the band has a gig, he exerts a little more effort (even if most of the time it doesn’t pay off).

eye color: brown. (likes colored contacts every now and then)

height: 179 cm

weight: 66 kg

build: lean person, with a good muscular frame.

distinguishing characteristics: two beauty marks right next to each other on his left eyelid.

tattoos: has a full sleeve on his left arm from shoulder down to a little above his wrist and another one his right forearm.

piercings: lobe and upper lobe in both ears, anti-tragus on the left one, double helix on the right, anti-eyebrow and nose on the right side of the face (won’t ever use jewelry during the day though).

clothing style: while he’s working at the stall he has a more casual style consisting of jeans, cargos, pants, button downs, sweaters. likes layering with denim shirts, flannels, jackets, windbreakers over t-shirts, etc. mostly in earthy colors, dark reds and blues, white, gray and black. no matter what though, he will always wear long sleeves, even in the hottest summer days and never roll them up, going to these lengths just to not draw any unnecessary attention. (he’s even gotten a fair amount of rash guards for those occasions when he feels like going for a swim.)

at the bar or at gigs, he’s usually clad in all black or dark tones. sleeveless shirts or those with short sleeves are his go-to, not nearly as concerned to conceal the ink over his arms from the public eye at night. he likes to choose style and comfort when performing, thus splurging a little more on his nightly outfits rather than those he uses on the daily. leather and denim jackets, bombers, sometimes harnesses, jeans in either black or leather, boots, sneakers, muscle shirts, graphic t-shirts, shirts with the first buttons undone and rolled up sleeves in dark, rich colors. style varies from street fashion to grunge to rocker depending on how he feels.

health

sleeping habits: goes to sleep really late but has no trouble waking up early to go to to work, though for the first couple of hours he’s awake and if he has gotten 4-5 hours only, he’d be kind of silent and unresponsive until getting that first cup of coffee. will likely nap before his shift at the bar only for an hour and a half tops.

eating habits: eats 3 - 4 times a day and gets easily hungry between meals. often seen snacking whatever he can.

exercise habits: doesn’t really exercise much constantly, but on the weekends he likes hiking or running around town.

emotional stability: 6/10

body temperature: average

addictions: none

drug use: experimentally a couple of times, hasn’t done it in a while.

alcohol use: socially, medium-high tolerance.

personality

label: the opaque (unable to be figured out; hiding behind a façade; not transparent.)

positive traits: reliable, responsible, hard-working, trustworthy, loyal, thoughtful, generous, creative, passionate, artistic, caring, considerate, devoted.

negative traits: defensive, evasive, cautious, indecisive, defiant, self-doubt, fluctuating self-esteem, conflict-averse, private, self-conscious, sensitive, unpredictable.

hobbies: starting songs he never finishes, watching the same show every year (avatar the last airbender) as well as his comfort movies, cloud/star gazing, jigsaw puzzles, origami, video games, playing guitar sometimes.

habits: knuckle cracking, muttering under his breath, snacking between meals, rubbing hands together, jaw clenching, gesturing while talking, rubbing the back of his neck, running hands through hair, drumming fingers, sings along to songs and sings gibberish for the parts he doesn’t know, doodles on any paper at reach, dozes off when bored/daydreams, bobs his leg while sitting.

zodiac sign: sun capricorn, moon pisces, rising scorpio (read as: impending disaster)

mbti: infp

enneagram: 6w5

temperament: melancholic

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

moral alignment: chaotic good

primary vice: wrath

primary virtue: diligence

element: water

expanded personality

yongguk has a strong tendency to appear quiet and reserved and it might come off as standoffish or easily confused with snoberish, which makes it worse when he doesn’t go out of his way to change this preconception about him. he needs a great deal of personal space, both physically and mentally, and any attempt to control him or forcibly schedule his activities will only strengthen his need for time alone.

he’s responsible, trustworthy and hardworking. relies heavily on his intuition to guide him and knows how to patiently wait as well as how to adapt to any circumstances. in yunhwa, he’s been forced to learn how to interact with the townsfolk and through the years he’s mastered the front he puts on in order to remain below the radar and not get any unnecessary attention; polite, helpful, sometimes even considered as a sweet guy, yongguk has no problem lending a hand to anyone that needs it.

however, in busan, his adaptability is also handy when it comes to dealing with customers. at the same time, it’s in these moments when he feels a little less restrained and allows himself to be less calculative: flirty, playful, sometimes misleading… he’s gotten in several problems because of this and yet he has no plans to stop it anytime soon.

yongguk is a little insecure and with a fluctuating self-esteem: sometimes he’s very well aware and confident on his skills and assets, but other times he will second-guess everything about himself. this combined with an strong fear of failure that stems from poor past decisions, makes him hesitate when it comes to making important calls that could potentially affect his future, but he knows how to play it off… most of the times.

despite appearing simple at a glance, yongguk is more than what meets the eye. friendly but private, polite but passionate about his beliefs, calm and sometimes expressionless. it’s not that he doesn’t have feelings - he actually runs quite deep and strong - it’s just that he conceals them under a mask of politeness because he’s unsure how to deal with them; he’s restrained when it comes to conveying emotion, but has a very deep care for his peers. might be awkward and uncomfortable with expressing himself verbally, but has a wonderful ability to define and reveal what he’s feeling on paper.

yongguk is genuinely interested in understanding others, a good listener, but will exclusively share his sorrows and woes only with the friends he trusts the most, unafraid to display his best and worst with them. his natural intuition allows him to sense the mood without the need of words. however, he can be quite impressionable and be easily influenced by the moods of others, which may often lead him to feel overwhelmed because of this.

incredibly curious, yongguk loves to explore with his hands and his eyes, touching and examining the world around him with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. he explores ideas through creating, troubleshooting, trial and error and first-hand experience. yongguk can be a challenge to predict, even by the closest people to him. can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but he has a tendency to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking his interests in bold, new directions.

with a good memory, he can recall experiences from the past down to smallest details. this is both good and bad: remembering the good memories is a way to ease himself when in stressful or sad situations, but he’s also prone to dwell on previous mistakes and regret them for a long time.

he’s not consistently angry. will either let the anger build up and release it all at once in an outburst or let it out slowly through small, critical remarks throughout the day. sometimes, both. he’s very difficult when annoyed, but it usually doesn’t last that long. a perfectionistic through and through, his main source of anger usually comes from things not being up to their standards. not good at sparing others’ feelings when he does become irritable. doesn’t like conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. in those occasions where he does have to face it, he will approach it from his feelings and mistakenly place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. yongguk will react to the emotions he’s going through and won’t care whether or not he’s right, which makes him appear irrational and illogic.

background (tldr)

his parents work in the field with doctors without borders.

yongguk was born in seoul and lived there for six years before his parents sent him to yunhwa to stay with his grandparents while they went abroad.

seven years passed, his parents would rarely contact them, much less visit them.

in the meantime, his grandma taught him how to play many instruments, being a musician herself and he was enrolled in kwangsook academy.

at thirteen they returned and guk moved with them back to seoul. around this time he became more reserved and quiet, the conversation always focused on his parents achievements and interests.

he made it his goal to become a doctor in hopes of having something in common with them. it was a way to seek their attention and approval.

a year later, a new plan was announced and yongguk was back in yunhwa with his grandparents. he was actually pretty happy about this.

started taking his studies seriously in his junior year of high school, going to the extent of dropping music and every other altogether.

he successfully managed to get into pusan national university, school medicine.

however, the whole experience was something he wasn’t ready for at all. for a year and half he struggled to keep up with his classmates and was utterly ashamed to compare his simple goal of wanting to get closer to his parents to the drive of everyone else.

he drops out after talking with his grandfather, a successful doctor himself.

initially excited to get the chance of truly discovering what he wanted to do, a single call from his father deterred his enthusiasm. he was supposed to return to yunhwa, instead he decided to move in with a friend and stay in busan… where everything goes downhill.

at only twenty and under the fake pretense that he’d get his act together, he allows himself to make mistakes and act recklessly, secretly wishing that’d be enough to get his parents attention.

he found temporary jobs all around busan and never lasted too long, but he still made money and that’s the only thing he really cared about at the moment. things aren’t great, but they aren’t that bad, or so he tells himself.

at twenty one, he gets a full sleeve on his left arm as well as many piercings. a couple of weeks after this, his grandparents decided to pay him a surprise visit and the state of his apartment as well as life… is not optimal.

coincidence or not, his parents video called them at that moment. it was the first time he heard from them in a year, and it was the last time as well.

seems like only his appearance was enough to finally trigger some sort of emotion from his father, but it wasn’t really the kind he was looking for. it was anger and he could clearly see the disappointment in his eyes. a heated argument ensues, one that ends with “you’re not our son anymore.”

perhaps it came a little too late, but it was the much needed wake up call to get his act together. not in order to mend the relationship with his parents, he knew that’d be impossible. but more so, for himself.

he perks up at a suggestion from his grandmother, one that was about a long forgotten hobby of his: photography. he remembers an old shoe box filled with polaroids and undeveloped films under his bed.

thus, he stays in busan after enrolling in a community college for a year-long photography class. around this time, one of his aunts offered him a job as a bartender in her bar and since then he’s been helping her every now and then. he says it’s for extra money, but in reality is a way to repay her from hiring him when no one else would.

after he was done with his course and had saved enough money to get a decent camera, he decided it was time to go back to yunhwa.

he returned three years ago. luckily, his reputation there remained intact and he wanted it to stay that way thus hiding the ink on his skin with long sleeves and removing the jewelry whenever he was outside.

yongguk moved back with his grandparents, this time to help them out and take care of his grandmother who started to get a little ill. he picked up playing and making music after finding his long abandoned drum set in the garage.

with the help of his grandfather, he opened his very own stall called “kodachrome” where he takes photos for ids, sells prints of his own work (mostly of yunhwa’s scenery) as well as books sessions for photoshoots.

a year and half ago, however, he had to find a new place. his grandparents decided to retire and move to jeju. thankfully, he managed to get a deal to rent a house from one of his grandma’s friends. the house was a little too big thus he decided to post an ad online looking for roommates to share the space and ease the expenses.

in the present, yongguk is still running his stall and getting contacted every blue moon by small influencers and event planners looking for his services. three nights a week, he goes back to busan to work for his aunt at the bar and every other night he has gigs with a band, which was randomly created after having far too many drinks with his roommates.

background (full)

tw: mentions of needles, tattoos, substances but nothing too graphic.

ae yongguk was the name given to you and and your endearing smiles as well as adorable dimples seemed to be more than enough to have everyone coddling and cosseting you from the get-go. nonetheless, permanency was never on your parents’ agenda. by the time you turned six, they moved away and you were shoved into your grandparents’ household in yunhwa.

it’s difficult to comprehend the sudden change, being told that you’d be living with them for some time. how much? they don’t specify, but the next thing you know is that you’re wordlessly bidding goodbye to your parents, who promised to write and come back for you soon. they didn’t. being part of doctors without borders and making it their goal to offer medical aid where it’s needed most, they put their humanitarian labor before parenthood.

the first letter you got arrived eight months after they left. there’s disappointment and there’s also heartbreak, but they don’t last long. you don’t allow them to regardless of your young age. instead, you focus on how your grandfather, despite having severe and strict ways, squeezed your shoulder and offered the small smile that you know all too well now. or how your grandmother, a renowned musician, didn’t hesitate to shower you in unconditional love. your education didn’t cease and your grandfather immediately enrolled you at kwangsook academy.

one of your most prominent traits is how transparent you are with your emotions and your grandmother easily learnt to read this. it was no surprise that the first time you saw her playing a beautiful song on her baby grand and your irises sparkled with curiosity, she immediately beckoned you closer. “hi, my love.” the elderly woman greeted while shifting a little so you could take a seat beside her. you meet her eyes and you wonder if she’s looking for anything by the time an easy smile appears on her face. “do you like music?” you’re unable to respond, but she must’ve seen something because, after that, she started teaching you the basics of piano. a couple of days later, she asked again and this time around, the answer naturally slipped out of your mouth: i love it.

for your regular classes, you were constant and responsible. sure, you enjoyed learning, but your interest wasn’t inherently there. it was just something you had to do. however, when it came to that newfound love for music of yours, you were the one with the initiative to ask for more lessons and practice whenever you had free time; first the piano, later the guitar and a couple of years later you made the stubborn decision to learn the drums.

it was nice staying in yunhwa, it brought you a comforting sense of belonging. it was the beginning of finding your own voice; discovering your likes and dislikes, some of your talents and even the chance of making friends. however, there was always a lingering question in the back of your mind and a deep sadness you rarely showed: when are my parents coming back?

they do, but only for a short period of time.

you had only turned thirteen, but the moment you saw them you were but an excited kid, joyously yelling and running to hug them, but they greeted you rather… frivolously. you try to ignore the breach between you and them, which you felt the most when you were holding your mother’s hand; her skin a couple of degrees colder than your grandma’s. they ask how you were doing and, in your frenzy, you start talking about everything that’s happened all this time only to be interrupted; the voice you were starting to grow inevitably drowned in the sea of their own achievements and stories.

it’s then that they tell you they’d move to seoul and you’re to go with them. apparently, with the intention to settle down and give it a go to having a normal family. you say goodbye to your grandparents, and unlike your mom and dad, the promises of staying in touch with them are real.

you were silent and reserved around your parents. you had to after learning that no matter what you tried to tell them, the conversation always ended being about what interested them. for a while you pretended to be okay with it, but soon you started wishing they paid as much attention to you as they did to their cause. it made you think that, by immersing yourself in that world, you might be able to keep them interested long enough or make them proud, and your very own obsession to become a doctor started right there. simple questions that had your parents perk up are what made you believe that your plan isn’t too far fetched.

luckily, you were able to retreat to your music whenever everything became too overwhelming, but even this wasn’t enough to stop an ever growing beast called dissatisfaction from making your chest its home. it increases in size and sometimes it’s so big that you’re unable to keep it in your ribcage, coming to light with rebellious little acts such as not doing your homework or bluntly strumming your guitar late at night. eventually, unspoken words and jumbled thoughts find their way into old notebooks full of an amateur’s unfinished songs.

it’s exactly a year later that they announced their new plans of moving to the other side of the world, plans that didn’t take you into consideration at all. it was disappointing, but not really surprising. still, you were able to comprehend the nature of their jobs, after all they were brilliant doctors and only a handful were willing to offer the assistance your parents did. you stop expecting things to change after the farewells you exchanged with them. you wished them the best and truly meant it.

going back to yunhwa at fourteen is something you anticipate; your grandmother welcomed you with your favorite food and your grandfather with a blank notebook. “for your songs, son” he said with that smile of his, learning about this new hobby of yours from one of the many mails you sent them. both were happy about your return and helped you pick up your studies where you last left them.

it’s in your junior year at high school when you truly get serious about your studies, medical school was your single goal. even though you’ve come to terms with the relationship you had with your parents, a hopeful part of you genuinely believed that becoming a doctor would help breach the distance.

and so you do, dropping music altogether and every other hobby that “needlessly” consumed your time and energy. it was admittedly exhausting and you were obviously miserable without playing any instrument. the sleepless nights and the isolation you brought upon yourself paid off the moment you received the news of your acceptance at pusan national university. that very night, you got a call from your parents congratulating you.

for the next year and a half, however, things prove to be extremely challenging when you find yourself amongst thousands of students whose drive and ambition is stronger than simply wanting to get close to their parents. it’s shameful, you admit and the constant pressure as well as the competitive environment soon takes a toll on you, but it was much needed for you to start questioning everything; yourself, your goals and if it was really what you wanted.

the person who helps you to fully come to this realisation is none other than your grandfather, another renowned doctor in your family. it’s shocking to hear him encouraging you to drop out and follow your dreams. truth is you were far too concerned chasing after a hopeless goal than to craft ambitions and dreams for yourself. still, you follow his advice even when you are completely at loss about what the next step would be.

if news of your acceptance travelled fast, so did the news of your departure. you got a call shortly after and all you heard was “we’re very disappointed” followed by radio silence before your father hung up. you were nineteen, about to turn twenty, when they last talked to you.

their silence becomes one of your many excuses to make mistakes and act recklessly; if your good behaviour and your previous little act didn’t catch their attention, this surely will. it’s your shield against the disapproval in your grandfather’s eyes, and that very shield is what stops him from stopping you. even when you told him you wouldn’t return to yunhwa, instead moving to one of your friend’s apartment in the heart of busan.

it’s amusing how easily your grandfather believes your fake promises of trying to get your life together and you feel awful for being such a good liar. you find decent jobs, but never stay too long. unnecessary fights with customers or blatant irresponsibility are the main reasons that force you to find a new one every couple of weeks. you’ve been many things: a busser, a server, even a mascot. you didn’t mind much as long as you were paid.

you willingly dive into a void filled with indulgence and bad decisions. all in order to not think, to not dwell on the future. you used every situation you could possibly get yourself into as a distractor from the painful reality. you were lost, so utterly lost.

twenty one comes around and you decide that, for the first time ever, you’re going to gift yourself something. a permanent work of art, its canvas your skin.

three monthly salaries were spent on black and red ink which reminded you of your favorite place. the needle pierces your skin once, twice, hundred times until your arm is almost fully covered… maybe it was a metaphor, a feeble attempt to display something bright and wonderful on someone who otherwise had long lost every trace of that. it was not enough and a couple of piercings follow in trying to beautify the sheer mess you’ve made of yourself.

some nights you question your own strength and sanity. you used to be pristine, someone to be proud of and an exemplary resident of the town you fondly call home. you were constant, had talent and a midas touch that turned meaningless words into beautiful songs, scribbles onto paper into melodies that had every listener humming along.

what happened to you, boy? says a voice in your head… or is it from your chest? is it the dissatisfaction you’ve tried to keep locked for years? all it took was to be called a disappointment once for you to willingly become one?

it consumes you and every passing day it becomes louder, but you’re stubborn and simply take it as a challenge to find new ways to drown it. headachingly loud music, poisonous substances, liquid trust or the ecstasy under someone’s fingertips… the city swallows you whole and provides you with momentary sweet oblivion but… is the aftermath of impeding remorse worth it? it is, you convince yourself while running back into it’s arms night after night.

one day, without warning, three knocks come onto your door and when you’re about to curse whoever disrupted your game, you’re met with your grandparents. your appearance is deplorable; bloodshot eyes, greasy hair and alarming signs of lack of proper sleep. it hurt to see your grandmother, as crystal clear as you wear, worried and at loss of words. a thing the city taught you was to be a pretender and so you ignore every sign of concern in their faces while smiling at them. “long time no see!” you say cheerfully.

it’s a quiet visit. they don’t know what to tell you or where to start, and neither do you feel a need to fill the awkward silence when your grandfather’s phone went off. he answers without thinking to a videocall and the voice that greets him has you freezing on your spot. father. your face falls and your eyes widen in obvious panic when he asks about you. the older man in the room seems to be equally as frantic as you when he glances at you, taking in how you look before your father speaks again.

“oh, is yongguk there? let me talk to him.” his authoritative tone was enough to have your grandfather turning the phone towards you. it’s late, far too late to fix yourself or even try to hide the glaringly bright red ink on your arm. so, in your frenzy, you decide to play cynical. what else could you lose, right? “hey, dad.” you greet with a shameless smile upon your lips. “your timing is as impeccable as ever.”

the argument that ensues forces you to retreat to your room and you thank whatever universal force that your roommate decided to have a weekend-long trip. it’s a heated fight, and you realize midway through that this is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with your father. why is it that the most display of emotion you get from him is when you don’t follow his ridiculous standards? he gets louder, so do you and it escalates to irreversible words. the last thing he says is “you’re not our son anymore” followed by silence.

then you laugh.

you laugh over the irony of an absent father saying such a thing. you laugh because you don’t want to allow him see you hurting. you laugh at how fucked up the whole situation is. “doesn’t make a difference, does it?” you say between unabashed chuckles. “not like you ever acted like a father, anyway.” and you hang up, your legs giving in and only then did you notice that your whole body had been shaking this whole time.

you muffle a scream on a pillow while feeling so alone and like the butt of the cruelest joke. you want to hate your father and your mother. you want to despise them for their horrible behavior. instead, you find yourself crying like an abandoned kid wanting, yearning for the love that wasn’t given to him. you want to run, to disappear, to hide where no one can find you.

then, two arms wraps around you and even though your grandmother is a little smaller than you, you find yourself feeling protected under her embrace. shortly after comes a pat on your head from your grandfather. you look up at those brown eyes full of wisdom and, when he tells you “everything will be okay, son.” you wholeheartedly believe him

because, a year later, things started looking up.

#INFO.TXT #YONGGUK.EXE #LOC.YUNHWA

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