#gdi my hands hurt

[hinamie]

brighter days ahead

[wistfulwatcher]

You've been here for me in a way that no one has.

[61below]

I am livid that I let my hyperfixating brain type so much last week that I literally re-flared an old knitting overuse injury, and even a week of rest hasn’t been enough to fucking fix it. Bodies themselves are proof that intelligent design is bullshit. Fuck this compression glove, fuck my object impermanence brain for forgetting about artists’ stretches, AUGH

[deliciouskeys]

I threatened to write something for Butchlander week and well... I have written, uh, something. *skulks back into the abyss*

Written to accompany this wonderful art I commissioned from @semains whom I love dearly-- thank you for indulging my requests for setting and exact pose as well! Commission them!

Butchlander Week NSFW Saturday prompt: Roleplay/Roles. Because it might be the role of a lifetime for Butcher, but you know Homelander is having the time of his life pretending he can't escape / pretending it hurts sooo much.

(yeah, double dipping) Cozy Corner Kinktober prompt #5 Buttplug (sort of. I can't explain myself. I have no excuses. It might be disturbing, so apologies in advance. Pure Id, aka wtf).

My header is getting longer than the ficlet, gdi

"Harder." Homelander's tone is haughty and whiny all at once–  so grating that Butcher wishes he could deliver on the request. Who'd have thought that this grandiose straightedge little cunt would get so hard having a stranger smack him over and over? Who'd ever guess that this supe celebrity– maybe the world's most famous person, and definitely the darling of the American public– would be into this kind of shit behind closed doors? That he wouldn't be bloody ashamed of himself whisking Butcher off to his bizarrely decorated apartment every single night.  Bypassing all of Vought security, so that Vought's public enemy number… if not #1 then at least top 10… could make himself comfortable sitting on his bed. Not all that comfortable, since the bed is a strange upholstered leather number and stiff as hell, but Butcher supposes a supe might not feel the difference between this and a Tempur-Pedic.

He brings him here every night, and every night the script stays largely the same. Homelander plies him with some alcohol, sometimes a glass of whiskey, but more often just a bottle of Heineken. Butcher sits down, Homelander eagerly drapes himself over his lap, pulls and folds his cape underneath him, as if he doesn't trust Butcher enough to spread it out next to him. wiggling his hips, insisting Butcher pull down his pants and spank him. And Butcher obliges every time, even though it's clearly hurting his hands much more than it hurts Homelander– they alternate sides every night but Butcher suspects he already has stress fractures that don't heal because his hands ache all the time and never quite recover between sessions. But despite the pain, and despite the very little to no pain he's actually inflicting on the spoiled brat who always asks to be hit harder, there's just something irresistible about it. About finally being allowed to take out his aggression on the man he hates most in the world. The man he hates most in the world, who also happens to have a surprisingly perky ass that jiggles hypnotically if you hit it hard enough and just right, so Butcher hits him with his full strength not because of the cunt's whiny demands, but because he just wants to see the flesh wobble.

"I said harder!" Homelander's voice cuts through Butcher's thoughts, and Butcher can't help it any longer.

"You want me to hit you harder, you're gonna have to find a paddle."

Homelander's breath hitches and he says nothing in reply. No, this sick cunt clearly craves skin on skin contact to get off, Butcher already knows this, which is why he knew what to threaten him with to get him to shut up.

But he does wish he could hurt him. The achy joints of his hand plead he stop. Butcher stares down at the well defined muscular globes, skin turned a nice blush color where he's been hit but Butcher wishes he could turn it black and blue. Purple and green. He wants the cunt to really feel the intensity he's supposedly asking for, just to prove how wrong he is.

"I'm waiting," Homelander reminds him.

"Just taking a breather, alright? Enjoying the view." Butcher tries to squeeze a handful of flesh, but it's never as soft as it looks. "Look like one of 'em marble statues you got out in your lounge area."

Butcher hears Homelander's breath hitch and sees him take a peek at the mirror above, clearly checking himself out. This is all a game to him. It flatters his vanity that Butcher does this for him. Butcher would like nothing more than to turn this around on him, make it less of a game and more of an actual punishment.

A strange idea creeps in. Butcher leans back to reach for the Heineken bottle he emptied earlier and put on the nightstand, always on a coaster Homelander insists he use. God forbid he get a water ring on the antique looking furniture, with the creepy little cameo portraits of people who died last century. The beer is mostly just to take the edge off before Homelander lies down over his legs– he and Homelander mutually figured out the session goes better if he's slightly buzzed and maybe just a little numb to the pain in his hand. And they figured this out because Homelander happened to whisk him away right after he stumbled out of a bar on a late Saturday night, after which point Butcher understood that Homelander would come and find him wherever he was– even if he wasn't at home past midnight. It's sexual slavery, is what it is. Butcher would resent it more if he didn't somewhat enjoy getting to beat this cunt on a nightly basis before being dropped off at home.

Homelander shifts, growing impatient while waiting for another round of spanking to start after the breather. "Come on!" he says through gritted teeth, and he sounds angry, and fucking self-righteous, as if he's complaining about customer service he's paid for. It's not Butcher's fault that the cunt only seems to come after he's gotten spanked for minutes straight, at some point his body finally deciding that this is such an enjoyable moment that his hips start grinding forward into Butcher's leg and he comes, the same pathetic little hitched moan escaping his lips every time, the same toe-curling Butcher can see because the cunt does take off his boots to lie on the bed. Thank god he never pulls his pants far down enough, because he never gets any jizz on Butcher's jeans. Homelander seems to think Butcher doesn't notice, or at least they both pretend they haven't. As if Butcher can avoid noticing his leg being humped violently, wondering if this is the night the cunt breaks one of his limbs out of pure excitement. As if it's not clear what just happened from the flushed face and glazed over eyes the supe has when he rises off the bed, finally satisfied. But if no one tells and no one asks, it didn't necessarily happen, and both seem content to keep it at that. Homelander takes a quick shower and suit change before dropping Butcher off at his apartment, without any further ceremony or pleasantries, and by morning Butcher is half in denial about any of it even happening.

"Are you fucking deaf? Why did you stop?" Homelander says and starts to turn his head to look back at him, but Butcher shoves his face back to face forward. 

They have an unspoken agreement not to look each other in the eye when they're doing this, ever. Homelander almost broke the agreement, but obediently looks away again after the lightest push.

"Shut your fucking trap already. I heard you the first ten times just fine," Butcher growls under his breath, and his mind is made up about what he was hesitating to do. He forces the neck of the empty bottle into the cunt's tight crack, moving it around, looking for give.

Homelander's back arches, clearly not expecting the sensation. "The fuck are you doing?"

"GIving you something harder, like you were whining for, you spoiled brat." Butcher gives up doing it blindly and pulls one of the cheeks towards him. "Now where's your fucking chocolate starfish? You even have one?" And as if to punctuate that last word, Butcher finds the place and  breaks the initial resistance resistance, the bottle neck beginning a slow slide in.

Homelander breathes harder. "I don't like it," he mutters, and his ass flexes in protest.

"You better like it and accept it, or else you're going to end up with a pile of glass shards inside you."

Butcher is skeptical that glass could really do anything to this supe's internal organs, but it seems Homelander wants to avoid the mess anyway, and his muscles relax.

"That's right. Now stop whining and take your punishment."

He tries to push the bottle in even further, feeling more and more protest.

"I don't like it," Homelander repeats, sharply this time, as if it means something.

"You ain't supposed to like it," Butcher says and decides to finally smack him on the ass with his other hand after keeping him waiting. Butcher doesn't anticipate that Homelander's body will convulse, shatter the bottle, grind into him, and come all at once.

"The hell was that?" Butcher asks, pulling back the jagged bottle's bottom half that survived. Homelander's body is still twitching underneath him and he's panting. Maybe this was going to be it. Butcher overstepped the line. Homelander was probably immersed in some unresolved childhood trauma or fantasy or whatever the fuck about having a father figure who would discipline him with a firm but loving hand. This must have ended the illusion for him. Maybe enough that Butcher is about to meet his end– sometimes it's hard to remember that the whimpering quivering pathetic mess draped over his knees is the selfsame terrifying force of nature that can take out an entire army if he ever just chose to do so.

But the cunt won't even pick his head up. He's buried his face in the crook of his elbow. Is he fucking crying? Butcher wonders for a second if it's possible that he's actually fucking done it. Actually hurt him. Maybe a plug of C4 won't kill him but maybe it'll make him feel the hurt? A whole assortment of images races through Butcher's mind. He wants to try everything now. His crowbar, a bat studded with rusty nails, maybe the same bottle but a Molotov cocktail this time. Payback for thinking he can just force Butcher to indulge him, to make every night about getting him off. This opens up a whole new world of possibilities.

But Homelander stirs and starts to sit up, and Butcher winces and his teeth are set on edge when he can hear the crunching sound of glass grinding against glass, and tiny green shards start dropping out of him as Homelander tilts to sit back on his heels.

"That was— amazing…" Homelander whispers, breathless. His hands are folded demurely in his lap as if he didn't just orgasm to being diddled with a bottle of Heineken. "You want another beer?"

"No!" Butcher says, sounding more emphatic and more disturbed than he intendedto let on. "No, you sick fuck."

"Does your hand hurt?" Homelander asks, and it's without any impatience in his tone, maybe even a note of real sympathy, completely ignoring the insult just lobbed at him. Before Butcher knows what's happening, Homelander leans down and licks the hand that had just been spanking him. Butcher jerks it away defensively, but Homelander follows it licking it, laving each finger with his tongue before leaning into it with his brow ridge, then his nose, rubbing himself into it. It feels soothing and takes away some of the sore feeling, Butcher is loath to admit.

But he needs to regain what little control he has in this arrangement. "You want me to pet ya? Then lie back where you belong," he says. It's gratifying to see the supe cunt immediately obey him. He stretches himself back into his former position, and Butcher kneads the flesh of his ass.

"We can do the bottle again if your hands hurt," Homelander says, sighing contentedly and breaking the rule– looking back at Butcher with a look that is disturbingly similar to fondness.

"We can," Butcher agrees, trying to ignore the glass that's spilled out on the sheets and forget the crunching sound the bottle made when it snapped in half at the neck.

(AO3 link)

[dairy-farmer]

Actually? Can't stop thinking about this possibly expanded Time-Loop Of Bad Ideas AU? Because EVERYONE could get one! That Idol was made for Life Lessons and good at it's job!

Why NOT Moar Loops~☆?

And? Was GOING to suggest the whole BatFam. But this time not together. BUT THEN? My muse(adhd brain) smacked me and called me a coward! Go BIGGER they demanded! That sexy, sexy genius(me)!

That bust was probably not in Gotham! Or at least, not FULLY in Gotham. Maybe it was Superman, maybe someone else, but SOMEONE saw the Idol when Bruce found it.

We have PROTOCOLS, Batman.

That YOU made.

GDI. He sighs, but admits it's true. And Magic Bullshitry means getting scanned for Curses and Compulsions. Everyone up to the Watchtower. *various Bat Children groans of annoyance* No getting out of it. Come on, better this then getting possessed.

They Zeta up. Annoyed but here.

It's late and they'll probably miss dinner.

Come to find out? Fuckin EVERYONE but Captian Marval and Wonder Woman, who knows Magic, is off doing "Magic". Just... unspecified, vauge, could be anywhere, "Magic".

REALLY?!

AND they get pulled into a last minute, emergency, meeting about where they should store the Idol. Because all Wonder Woman and Marvel can TELL them about it? Is "Yep, Cursed. Probably."

And so they are annoyed. Everyone is arguing. Tensions are getting higher and higher. Somebody mutters a snide comment about somebody ELSE'S sidekick, and? Punching breaks out. Shoving. The big three stand to break it up.

But it's too late.

Some IDIOT throws a CHAIR. Their target, being a trained hero, OBVIOUSLY dodges. Which means it sails right across the table and HITS THE IDOL. Crash!

BOOM.

Everyone is slammed back by a lightshow and huge wall of air. Wonder Woman is FURIOUS. Marvel scared. Everyone gets checked out. Everyone, Go Home and isolate for AT LEAST 24 hours. Report any symptoms or strange thoughts.

They go home. Go to bed. Midnight.

Click.

Everyone locked in their own little Loops.

Now, some of those affected? Lesbians. Married and grossly, gooey, shmoopy, "No, yooou~♡" hang-up type In Love. Or just not in to him.

But! How many people in Loops? Do you think? Get that Bad Idea impulse~

Feel their eyes get drawn towards the Highly Competent and Sexy, Red Robin? Pretty-boy Tim Drake? Their Friend, colleague, or the son of such? It's a time loop. Who would ever know? They HAVE always been... curious.

I mean, they'd treat him right. It's not like they're HURTING anybody! Doing anything against his consent. It's just a Bad Idea.

Batman would murder them. Nightwing would help. Launch them straight into the nearest black hole. Or it would CHANGE things. Their relationship altered forever. Or... well, he's their Brother. Their Son.

So many reasons Not Too.

But it's a Time Loop.

They wear you down. Mentally and emotionally. You get lonely. A little bit crazy. Start doing things you know you shouldn't.

Like eating out your Boy until he's sloppy and ruined, fingering him for hours. Just to feel that sweet heat in your hand. Lazily resting you head on a trembling stomach, not letting him escape. Not hearing him ask for it to end, only whimper that it's too much. Because he's so good for you. And always has been.

Or finally breaking down, when the loneliness gets unbearable. And clinging like an octopus, as you bend your little Tim in HALF. Rolling and snapping your hips like you want to crawl inside his skin. Soaking in the pleasured cries your punching out with every thrust. How CLOSE you finally are.

Sneaking in windows, early in the morning. Teammates, Supers and Speedsters. Crimelords, here to pound him rough and sweet on his own bed. People who should NOT, but do~

Why so early? Uncle Clark?

What brings you to Gotham, Hal Jordan?

Hi, Roy, looking for Jason?

Even crossing paths, as choices diverge things. Ah, Aquaman! Your Majesty, what did you need me for?

All while Tim is, in his OWN Loop? Discovering that Sex is actually kinda awesome. And that he should never be left unsupervised. But mostly the first one!

And THIS time? Because I am a generous and benevolent Enabling Jackass? He DEFINITELY steals Dick's "time to threaten Deathstroke" burner phone. And uses it for purposes other then intended.

One stack of info, several shiny new crates of ammo, and showing up in Dick's Robin costume later? He's in Cairo getting his guts destroyed by a supersoldier. The day resets before Slade even breaks a sweat. Tim on the other hand? Passed "fucked incoherent" about three hours back and would probably shoot him, if the dick weren't making him too uncoordinated and stupid.

Nonetheless? Bats pull miracles. And Tim finds Constantine. Who refuses to TOUCH anything of the "learn a life lesson" variety. Since too many deity have it out for him.

But he is just a man.

And finds himself suddenly MUCH more agreeable and willing to try, after being dragged into another room and slammed against a wall. Blown by Batman's kid.

Nothing like face fucking a Robin to motivate a man to greatness, he discovers.

Which? Is when everyone gets their assorted bank of Loop memories. Lot of boredom for a few. Lovey Dovey bonding for others. Life lessons etc.

But?

Oh.

Oh My God.

Kon is panicking. As it filters in. Tim, bro, he can EXPLAIN! Constantine has cut off in amusement. Because, see? This? This right here is why he avoids- blah blah blah- *white noise* *Distant sound of Kon panicking and his Phone trying to explode itself with texts*

Because HOLY SHIT. Tim stares into the middle distance and realizes? So... SO many people jumped at the chance to fuck him. Like... A LOT.

So many.

His head is FULL of getting RAILED. Kon looks like he's gonna cry. Clark is ripping the door off the hinges. He can explain! Kon no longer looks like he's gonna cry. Explain WHAT, Clark?!

Tim fucked...So Many People.

Or was it Fucked By?

Both?

Does.... does he have Boyfriends now? Bootycalls? A harem?

..............whoops?

*arguing over Tim only gets louder as more Heros show up*

-🐼🐼🐼

all of them taking the opportunity to fuck tim- including some people tim's horny brain hadn't even gotten to considered but now had memories of fucking!😭😭

[reincarnatedintospace]

my current wriothesley observations so far...

*contains spoilers for 4.1 archon quests and wriothesley's story quest.* i am really enjoying wriothesley so much, so here's some observations i've made so far about him. i'll add/edit as i unlock more of his voice lines and story... everything said below is said with love. just because he's an awesome character doesn't mean he also doesn't have flaws and isn't still human.

this man read the 4-hour work week and said bet. he grinded his way to the top, created and documented several robust processes that would run on it's own and then kicked his feet up and watched the mora roll in. he literally gamed the system. (use the prisoners for free manpower and reap the benefits. sounds a little familar.)

he was an angry ass young man. all the shit he'd seen and been put through and (i assume) no one came to his and his siblings aid. so he took matters into his own hands because he didn't believe anyone else would do anything. he's worked hard since becoming Duke to temper that anger. it still comes out when something really gets to him, which is very evident on his character trailer and his end scene in his story quest.

this asshole literally drops people out the airlock into the literal ocean for getting on his bad side '...most people know better than to raise a real stink, while as for those who don’t… there are places where they can go. Just as flowing water can cleanse itself, so can a functioning society get rid of its rot.' - Character Story 2. those bodies are gonna show up Dexter style one day, my man.

he's not lazy, he's efficient, and values his own time.

he likes to play. this idiot enjoys being strategic and gets a kick out of outsmarting people. he's out there roaming around meropide observing everything he can so if anything comes up he's already got a 10-step plan in place to manourve everyone to his liking

he'd be very good at chess (what else is there to do in a prison but play board games? and workout)

wriothesley priotirizes consent and trust. "I am honoured to win your trust."

in saying that, it also feels like he still has some insecurities and doubts, feeling the need to be worthy of someone's trust and earn it in a way that seems like he needs to do something of value to be trusted and valued in return.

his tea obsession is funny. i know this is a game and it isn't all that deep. (i'll make it deep gdi) but it feels like there's something there, a story behind that. either a direct opposition to something he hated as a child, or a need to keep people around him. or something else.

he took up boxing to protect himself and others. no longer was he going to let anyone hurt him again. ever.

he's manipulative, in a 'i'm going to protect you because i know what's up and i enjoy the reactions when i reveal the truth/plot i'm only privy to'

i have so many thoughts so i might part 2 this.

[hils79]

Hils Watches My School President - Ep 3 (Part 1)

So, to recap. The band club aren't allowed to date anyone unless they win a specific music award. Tinn, who is in love with the lead singer, has vowed to help them win under the guise that it will make the school look good and not at all because he wants to date said lead singer. Yep, this is exactly the sort of nonsense I signed up for

He's so pathetic. I like that in a man.

I legit cackled

Ooh is there going to be lots of late night studying with Tinn to help them all pass? :D

Why is Tinn still using his fake account when he's openly agreed as himself to help them. JK I know it's because he's an idiot (affectionate)

Yessssss.....here we go!

Wait, I thought the whole band had to pass. Why is he only tutoring Gun? I mean I know why but...

OHHHH! It was a daydream! I should have guessed

Wait, was that GUN'S daydream? Was he fantasising about Tinn tutoring him and then kissing him?

Tiw is the best fucking wingman I hope he gets a side romance

I love him. He should be the lead in this drama

HAHA! Even the Gun that is in Tinn's imagination hates his mother

EWW NO! Why would you tell your son that you plan to spend the whole week he's away fucking his mother

Please stop

Tropes I need during this study week: Gun studying so late he falls asleep on Tinn's hand/arm, having to share a bed because reasons, one of them cooking for the other, cuddling on the sofa

However this is one of my pet peeve tropes when someone is doing something that is super important to them and they just treat it like a joke. Like he offered to wash his teacher's car and be a servant to her for the sake of his band. He knows he needs to pass this test to keep the band going and he's laughing at bad scores and asking to take a break after 5 mins

THERE'S ONLY ONE BED!

Ah, the classic BL 'we're not ready to share a bed yet' sleeping positions

I still don't know why this school makes kids do a ballroom dancing exam, but as plot devices go it's pretty fun. Apparently they've decided to practice in the middle of the night instead of sleeping

God look at him screaming into his pillow like the giant dork that he is

I beg to differ

Do NOT use dramas to learn how to flirt, I beg you

Ah, now I see why @dancing-out-in-space told me to watch this 😂 Her blorbos got a mention

Okay, that got far too meta for me. Tiw's talking about himself (or the actor who plays him I mean). My brain hurts.

Ah, Scrubb again. They got mentioned a lot in 2gether and had a cameo. I guess the network uses them a lot

I swear to god if they do a printer product placement like they kept doing in Bad Buddy...

GDI!

That's another thing crossed off the list

FFS HOW DO I KEEP HITTING THE IMAGE LIMIT?? Fine! On to Part 2 I guess since there's still 25 mins of episode left!

Part 2

[arcplaysgames]

Me like "WOW THAT'S SO PRETTY, YUSUKE YOU'RE SO TALENTED" until we go to the art exhibition, which goes like

yusuke man psst hey uhhhh do you want a hand

Next time, we FINALLY GET TO GO ON THE LAKE BOATS YESSSSSSSS /claps

Reverie has to row so Yusuke can focus on his sketching. He spots another set of people in an adjacent boat and pegs them as a blooming romantic couple and starts sketching them.

Y U S U K E!!!!!

lmao it turns out they are not a couple, they are brother and sister and are Max Embarrassed at being thought of as otherwise.

We might need to get you a coach on the subject, are you any good at skating? There's this guy, Viktor Nikiforov who might be able to assist you.

I mean I always feel anguish in a church so do you wanna try a portrait of me?

But Yusuke's latest idea is to sketch Jesus in anguish on the cross, and Reverie is gonna be his model.

GOD, CAN'T HAVE SHIT IN DETROIT

also lmao i am so amused by how bossy Yusuke is, I am serious that I hope the fandom has had some kind of fun with this. Yusuke should boss Reverie around all the time imo.

The comedic timing on this moment is honestly great. Just that sad little pose while Yusuke watches, LMAO.

I mean holding this position is GONNA cause you so goddamn anguish, but it's also going to introduce you to what the sciatica is, boys, so maybe not, lol.

Anyway a priest rolls up like "soooo wtf y'all doin'" and then explains to Yusuke the complexities of the crucifixion and how it wasn't just about pain, blah blah.

Another swing and miss for Yusuke. Honestly, cannot wait for what comes next with him.

Okay like this is obviously a joke, but also it's a sweet moment, because Yusuke is internalizing that the thing he was missing from the anguish of jesus (and BELIEVE ME, it hurts my heathen ass to type that with a straight face) was the hope behind the event. So he pulls the pose again as he says goodnight to Reverie as a sign of "I still have hope" and Reverie doing it back feels like him saying "Me too."

IT'S GREAT, I like Yusuke. I would pay cash money to hear these lines acted out by Mercer, lemme tell you.

Also I am still doing the Temperance arc because I just gotta know what the fuck is going on here. Kawakami keeps getting weird pushy late night phone calls about money and.... seems to be on the hook for her sister's medical bills? Which. Sounds sketch? Is this an adult sister or a younger sibling she's caring for? Why would debt collection be happening like this? Is she involved in shady shit or is she trying to make it sound like she is to garner sympathy (see: money) from Reverie?

I have no idea.

There is this odd moment at the end where she drops her Perky Maid Act to show what seems like genuine concern. The mention of wanting Reverie to stay "healthy" leads me to believe that her sister really is sick, or she thinks her sister is sick?

I cannot believe that the Hot Teacher Who Is Also Maid is more compelling than some of my main party confidant arcs, but here we are.

THERE IS A FUNNY MOMENT RE: THIS where Ryuji drags Reverie out to go fishing at Ichigaya and Kawakami is there and is actually an extremely skilled fisher, and Reverie gets the option to refer to her as "Master" (as in a master fisherman)

AND SHE JUST GIVES YOU A FUCKING LOOK.

like "bitch. I see you."

gdi i think I like Kawakami, what the fuck is this game.

you're my what now

me, who removed Ryuji from the party as soon as Yusuke showed up and hasn't looked back: /sweats nervously

but yeah for real, Junpei and Yosuke you are not, Ryuji, sorry. If anyone is my right-hand, it's Ann. but really it's more like I am Morgana's right-hand, lets be SUPER REAL here.

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

(#gdi. I'm crying, so we ball. I've been invested, so this hurts.)

Just, give these flowers to Eros, okay? I didn't know what he liked, so I got a bunch of different ones - some sunflowers, hibicus, and tulips in different colors and some coffee candy, for when he wakes up and gets better. It's probably not as good as the real thing, but easier to sneak in than an actual coffee cup.

And..Cupid. For you too. Here's a bento and some bread from the bakery, along with a few other giftcards to some grocery stores and stores. I take it you haven't really been sleeping or eating well after everything. And I figure this could help somewhat. One less thing to worry about. And don't worry, this is no strings attached. It's never easy to deal with something like this.. I hope it helps.

I lament that I cannot do more to help, but just know if you need to talk or need a friend to go on an errand with, I'll listen.

And I'd like to think I'm not alone there.

Or if you'd rather be distracted, I can help too.

Just take care of yourselves. Both of you, okay? We still have a lot to do- a lot to look forward to. Like going to all the animal cafes and petting all of them. And having a picnic.

...

"Thank you. I'm sure he'll like these. She always told me that her favorites were hibiscus, but it may be because of its meaning."

The soft beeping of the monitor echoed as Cupid stayed beside Eros. From the looks of things, they look so... Worn. Their previous joyous attitude had been robbed of nothing, and their eye bags were evident than the weeks without you seeing them.

It wasn't that bad before... Maybe they masked it with makeup, so you wouldn't see just how tired they are.

Holding Eros's hand, their eyes looked over at the flowers. They always admired Eros for what she's done, even when people seem to criticize her. So now that she's in danger...

...

"... I haven't left them ever since they were in recovery."

The doctors tried. They genuinely tried. However, Cupid was inconsolable. How could they? It was their friend that had their life on the line— obviously that wasn't an option.

"I didn't want to spend an hour without them— I fear that if I did, they'd wind up dead without my supervision," they explained to you, their voice weak as they held onto their unconscious friend. "It's... An irrational fear. I've always feared it happening, especially those dreams I've been getting."

Their trips with the hypnotist didn't help. Not in the slightest. If anything, it felt like it got worse— even to the point of being unable to sleep for days.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this," they told you, holding back the urge to cry for the umpteenth time. "It's just... So much has happened from the weeks we spent working. My boss was being strict with what he wanted us to do for Valentine's, I couldn't go here for weeks... And this had to— it had to happen at the day I could even get access again."

...

They were struggling to not cry. It was clear with how they're blinking so much, even when you've left them gifts so they can eat and... Be able to care for themselves.

"... I'm tired. I'm exhausted for working over Celestia Inc.," they admitted. "I... Can't handle this. I can't handle losing a friend."

Ah, it seems you broke the dam. Though, they didn't seem to notice with how they're sobbing, trying to wipe their tears with the tissue that the nurses were kind to give to them.

Loss was never something they can handle. They could handle everything, but that is what they're so... Terrified of. That losing a friend is the thing that could make them grieve.

It, ironically, shows that even they have their limits.

"I— we— don't want to break our promise to you guys. I promised Eros that— that I'd resign when I'm done, that we will finally be able to leave with nothing attaching us to this sick company," they sobbed, their hand gripping on the tissue. "And yet— yet, they had to get hurt. Someone had it out to kill my friend!"

...

"I want this to stop... We want this to stop."

But we can't. Not anymore.

Unbeknownst to them, you see one of the hibiscus flowers lose a petal.

Even positivity can never reach a heart that's too deep in sorrow.

[threadsun]

THE 🧸 TEDDY BEAR 🧸 IS HERE TO INFODUMP THE DoL PCs!!! I have four main ones for different playstyles/romancing our four favourite beans; in order of most to least likely to make friends with Izzy we have Zoe, Max, Faith and Natalie. I also cheat the stats around because I am a weenie and don't want them to get hurt outside of my control lmao call that CNC

Zoe is my transfem black-and-purple-aesthetic babygirl and local Whitney slut. She's kind of a reactive bully, Whitney's a bad influence on her, but she has a soft spot for the fellow orphans and will generally redirect her 'boyfriend's ire away from them where she can. While they started dating with him at high dom, over time and Drama I figured he'd soften up a little (touch-starved, affection-deprived bully finds love, gets clingy). They have tattoos of each other's names, they have matching collars (Whitney's is spiky), and they absolutely fuck nasty on Leighton's desk while he takes photos. You'd think Whitney's forcefem kink would be wasted on a gf who's already transfem, but she plays along and wears a lil chastity cage and everything. She'd be the most likely to be friends with Izzy, both being cheer-outfit transfems who are too busy flirting to study properly. T4T makeouts ensue, Whitney can watch idc lmao

Max is a big fuckin boy, just a beefy big wolfman badboy with a heart of gold. Real German Shepherd energy. He works really hard at the docks and comes home late, so his grades aren't the best, but he's no delinquent. He shows up to every class, just kinda… daydreams through them. He's very protective of Robin and takes on their debt after saving them at the docks (with the help of his coworkers), becoming their personal guard dog. He also sticks up for Robin when they come out as genderfluid (NB!Robin from the crossdressing scenes gives me so much joy!) Would probably make friends with Izzy since she's nice, but he's very much Robin-sexual so they'd just be broskis.

Faith is my poor innocent baby who did no wrong and has the most, uh, non-mechanics-compliant story shiz. She and Sydney were all sweet and cute lil hetero-romantic celibate temple initiates holding hands and being innocent… until she had her halo broken and her wings blackened in the very temple she thought she'd be safe in. Sydney and Sirris took her home, and none of them ever went back to the temple again gdi LET ME RESCUE SYDNEY FROM THAT PLACE! They both end up disillusioned by the whole scenario and fall to corruption and demonhood pretty easily (demon!Sydney my beloved), but they're happy now and fucking in the change room as we speak. Faith probably wouldn't have been very good friends with Izzy before she fell, but afterwards? As long as Sydney's involved, the more the merrier! She's got three holes.

Finally, Natalie, poor dear Natalie… She's my Kylarmance. She used to be a really popular kid, a bit of a delinquent thanks to having a short temper about being harassed and groped all the time. But it was nice to have a friend who seemed genuinely interested in talking to her, even if people thought he was a creep. Sure, he had a shrine to her in his locker, but that was… kinda sweet? He hadn't hurt her or touched her or called her horrible things like most guys she knew. He was endearing, and such a talented artist, and she cuddled up to that owl plushie he gave her every night. So when Whitney threatened to lie about her if she wouldn't fuck him, she rejected him. She'd be able to tell Kylar it was a lie, right? That she didn't sleep around, she was waiting for Kyl- for the right person, you know? Well… a mild kidnapping later, he proved that she was telling the truth by taking her virginity himself, and slowly molding her into his ideal goth gf. They're totally 'married' now, trust me! And sure, she's become a total social outcast and basically never speaks to anyone else, she'd never really have the opportunity to make friends with Izzy, but she's HAPPY now. She has KYLAR. That's all she's ever needed.

(sorry this wound up so long I fuckin love this game I am kissing you on the mouth aaaAAAA 🧸💋🌞)

SHAKING HANDS WITH YOU SO HARD OVER PLAYING WITH CHEATS!!!!! Look, sometimes you get stuck in an infinite assault loop and you really just gotta teleport yourself home 😔 Also sometimes you wanna lose your handholding virginity to literally anyone other than someone's pet dog who you taught to shake paws.

Whitney would absolutely love to watch Zoe and Izzy go at it and he's valid!! These ladies deserve some hot t4t action >:3c

Max sounds sooooo sweet and Izzy would adore him, she'd just be so happy someone else cares about Robin too!!

You're so valid on non-mechanics-compliant stuff, I ignore the actual game canon all the time for the sake of what I think would be more realistic (and fun) for Izzy!! Including getting Sydney away from the goddamn temple!!! Gotta save that boy!!! And then Faith, Izzy, and Sydney can have a threesome about it :3c

God Natalie is soooooo valid and relatable, Kylar is simply so !!!!! How can you not love him? Especially once he kidnaps you and you develop stockholm syndrome 🥰

I'm so happy to hear about all of them, they all sound super fun!!!! Mwah mwah I am kissing you on the mouth too!!!!

[something-about-sunflowers]

Rotating a potential conversation between Ed and Izzy in my head. . . it goes with a fic that I’m probably never gonna get around to writing but.

After Everything, someone has the ‘you’re in love with Ed’ conversation with Izzy and he gets upset because he knows there’s no chance at all now (in his mind at least, we steddy our hands here gdi) but he’s been working on the whole ‘talk it through’ thing and. He has to know. So he goes to Ed while Stede and the crew are doing storytime and asks:

‘Did you know?’

‘Know what Iz? Gotta be more specific’ (he does know what Izzy’s asking he just doesn’t want this conversation/wants to put it off)

‘Did you know that I was in love with you?’

'. . .’

‘. . . Ed-’

‘“Was”?’

‘. . . Fuck you, Edward.’

And this leads into the fic idea I’ve got where Izzy leaves and kinda pulls a Davy Jones a la Pirates of the Caribbean, cuts out his own heart because the love hurts too much, only it gets a happy ending cause I can’t handle sad endings lmfao. Not only are the hands steddied but they’re stacked :3c, which is all I’ll say cause I do wanna try and write this (if I decide I can’t win the 1 v 1 with my executive dysfunction I’ll tell yall how it was gonna go tho, I have a really cool oc for this lmao).

[callofthxvoid]

📝 HUNTER X VAL GDI

THEIR FIRST IMPRESSION: "What a fucking douchebag."

THEIR CURRENT IMPRESSION: "You're still a fucking douchebag, but I feel bad about how things ended between us. I don't think that you really care about me, but I think that you think that you do, and feel betrayed by what I did. So, I feel bad, because it's not your fault that you legitimately don't understand how to care about other people. And I'm angry, because I didn't do anything wrong, but I still feel bad for hurting you."

WHAT THEY LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR MUSE: His smile, how his hand feels in hers, and how softly he looks at her when he's nervous. How he talks about things when he's with her and they're alone.

WHAT THEY DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR MUSE: Literally everything else.

WHAT YOUR MUSE IS FOR THEM. An ex-something. More than a casual hookup, less than an actual relationship.

A GENERAL OPINION OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP: Something that had potential, but that ended before its full potential could be explored. Someone that she misses despite being angry. A lesson in not starting something with someone when you don't fundamentally live in the same reality.

IF APPLICABLE, SOMETHING THEY WISH TO REVEAL: "It actually hurt my feelings that it didn't even cross your mind that I might be upset having my personal life blasted to the entire town. But that was nothing compared to how it felt that I made sure that you were alright after the earthquake and you didn't even care to find out if I was."

[lifblogs]

I can't seem to type with my splint on, which, this all just really hurts, and then of course with the band-aid I have on my pointer finger on my left hand to keep my nail in place typing is difficult. I might need an extension on some assignments, gdi.

[kithtaehyung]

Ok but Ryen! You write emotions so well. I don’t want to spoil 3Tan10 for anyone but gdi you’re a fantastic writer! I absolutely can’t wait for Busted part 2.

I kind of have a crush on 3Tan!Yoongi AND reader. Ngl.

❌❌********spoilers********❌❌

.

.

.

.

.

- It broke my heart to read about her and Jungkook talking it out. I’ve been there where you love the person dearly but no longer in the intimate way you used to. 🫂 Where you no longer want to be with them but don’t want to see them in pain and crying. 💔 You wrote the emotions so well.

- Taehyung is the bestest-estest friend ever. He acts a lot like my irl bestie and it makes me so happy to see him being supportive and loving for reader. That part was so comforting to read. 🥹

- I swear I’m gaining a girl crush on Dom, too. 😏 She had her friend’s back! Yassss. Love her so much. Love her support for their relationship. I think she sees what it does for the reader.

- Do I even need to remind you how well you write smut? 🔥💀 You say you don’t write it well but dayummmm ya do, my love. You do. Heels on? 👠On his desk? I had to stop and go back and re-read parts of the story - whether because it was so good and I wanted to indulge or because my mind started wandering elsewhere and I needed to focus on the story again. 💭

- I thought their parents died. They just left them? Wtf? That puts so much extra hurt and sadness in my feelings for the reader and their brother. 💬🙀🥺 I just want to hug them both so close that they can’t breathe. I can’t wait to hear more. You’re such a writing genius.

- “My love”?!?! ?!? Wjhdjdvehev Hell, Ryen. Yoongi is faalling for the reader. He even said, “what are you doing to me?” AGAINNNN. Power 👏 Couple 👏 But also, the crying on reader’s chest while they hum a tune? I need to just cuddle up Yoongi for days and months until he feels comforted and loved again. I don’t know what happened with his previous relationship but I’m so damn proud the reader can be that person for him.

- That lollipop reference? It didn’t go unnoticed. 🍭

- Last, but DEFINITELY not least, the fucking confidence of the reader in the bedroom talk? Stfu. 🫦 My heart soared when they said exactly what they wanted. It made my heart flutter and even made something 😏😉 clench just seeing their change in confidence. So damn hot. Gawd, I love this couple so very much.

Ok ok ok, I have rambled on too much. So sorry. Just wanted to let you know this chapter was phenomenal. 🙌🏻 The character development for not only reader but so many others … was so appreciable. Still my favorite fic hands down. I’d throw fists at anyone who disagrees with me.

I would straight kiss you right on the fucking mouth if you were nearby. This story continues to get better and better. I hope you know how much the 3Tan fam are thankful for you and your writing skills. We can never thank you enough. You are one in a trillion!

🍊🧡

AHHH hello rocky! finally getting to answer you so here we gooo! gotta put everything under a cut as per usual but let's get into it :D

I kind of have a crush on 3Tan!Yoongi AND reader. Ngl.

GET IN LINEEEE

It broke my heart to read about her and Jungkook talking it out. I’ve been there where you love the person dearly but no longer in the intimate way you used to. 🫂 Where you no longer want to be with them but don’t want to see them in pain and crying. 💔 You wrote the emotions so well.

thank you, love. it's hard to be in that position because you're right. you don't wanna see them sad but you also don't feel the same way intimately, so you can't really be there the way they want you to be. i'm glad they translated well but it was suuuuch a hard scene to write UGHH.

Taehyung is the bestest-estest friend ever. He acts a lot like my irl bestie and it makes me so happy to see him being supportive and loving for reader. That part was so comforting to read. 🥹 I swear I’m gaining a girl crush on Dom, too. 😏 She had her friend’s back! Yassss. Love her so much. Love her support for their relationship. I think she sees what it does for the reader.

SCREAM yes! i love tae and dom and i just wanna give them the biggest hugs for being there for reader. and tae is like your irl?? LETS GOOOO that's amazing! he's just warmth personified. and dom is just... QUEEN behavior.

Do I even need to remind you how well you write smut? 🔥💀 You say you don’t write it well but dayummmm ya do, my love. You do. Heels on? 👠On his desk? I had to stop and go back and re-read parts of the story - whether because it was so good and I wanted to indulge or because my mind started wandering elsewhere and I needed to focus on the story again. 💭

GEEEEEZ I STILL FEEL LIKE ITS JUST ALRIGHT LOL but thank you so much! i'm glad it's good and exciting and spicy >:)) the desk part jumped out fr like i was straight up sweating writing everything that i barely read it over when i was done HAHA i didn't wanna perceive it any longer than i needed to!

I thought their parents died. They just left them? Wtf? That puts so much extra hurt and sadness in my feelings for the reader and their brother. 💬🙀🥺 I just want to hug them both so close that they can’t breathe. I can’t wait to hear more. You’re such a writing genius.

sigh... another scene that tore me apart to write, but a necessary one. bc i wanted to show backstory but also show how far they've come despite it. like they are strong individuals, whether they realize it or think it or not. that's so fcking devastating, but they have each other and they are doing just fine.

“My love”?!?! ?!? Wjhdjdvehev Hell, Ryen. Yoongi is faalling for the reader. He even said, “what are you doing to me?” AGAINNNN. Power 👏 Couple 👏 But also, the crying on reader’s chest while they hum a tune? I need to just cuddle up Yoongi for days and months until he feels comforted and loved again. I don’t know what happened with his previous relationship but I’m so damn proud the reader can be that person for him.

ASKDHDJSJD THE LINE THAT MADE ME HAVE TO PAUSE. like i literally stopped and put my head in my hands when he said that. lmfao. and they are just.. so.. UGHHH. anyway. i'm glad yoongi has reader right now to do all of those things to make him feel so comfortable and at peace. because we've seen his mind. we know how tumultuous it is in there. so for him to have these moments? it must mean the world.

That lollipop reference? It didn’t go unnoticed. 🍭

....ehehehehe.

Last, but DEFINITELY not least, the fucking confidence of the reader in the bedroom talk? Stfu. 🫦 My heart soared when they said exactly what they wanted. It made my heart flutter and even made something 😏😉 clench just seeing their change in confidence. So damn hot. Gawd, I love this couple so very much.

FUUUUUUUC I KNOW. the way this was just a switch spurned on by months of having to keep distance? reader must have done a lot of reflecting during that time, and with them being an overthinker.. there could have been some regrets. including not saying what they wanted to say.

Ok ok ok, I have rambled on too much. So sorry. Just wanted to let you know this chapter was phenomenal. 🙌🏻 The character development for not only reader but so many others … was so appreciable. Still my favorite fic hands down. I’d throw fists at anyone who disagrees with me. I would straight kiss you right on the fucking mouth if you were nearby. This story continues to get better and better. I hope you know how much the 3Tan fam are thankful for you and your writing skills. We can never thank you enough. You are one in a trillion!

no no no i love the rambling! i love any type of feedback, i promise. but ramblings are just extra special bc like,, i love talking with y'all about stuff like this! it's fun. so the more you say, the more i get to talk about, too<3 it's a win! thank you so much for all of the kind words. it means so much fr.

[lookismaddict]

LISTEN. LISTEN. gun w/ lana del rey's songs... esp:

1. diet mountain dew (demo)

2. honeymoon

3. west coast

4. yes to heaven

5. cinnamon girl

you're welcome 😵🙏

OMG I LOVE LANA DEL REYYYYYY. HNNNNGGGGHHHH. 😩😩😩🖤🖤🖤🖤 Her songs Summertime Sadness, Radio, Young and Beautiful, and Doin’ Time have a special place in my heart since they’re so nostalgic. ❤️ (Mostly Summertime Sadness, Radio, and Young and Beautiful. Doin’ Time is much newer, that’s why. 😅) I’ve been meaning to listen to other songs from her, and now I get to listen while thinking about Gun. Let’s do this… 😳

Diet Mountain Dew (demo) - Already the line, “You’re no good for me, but baby I want you.” REALLY DOES RESONATE WITH HIM LMAAOOOO. UGHHH it really do be like that. 🥲💗 And “Do you think we’ll be in love forever?” really got me thinking. That eventually, my obsession for Gun will die down and that lowkey terrifies me. Like baby, pls don’t leave me- 💀💀💀

Honeymoon - I like how dreamlike her voice is in this one. And even though it’s a long song to listen to, it’s like listening to a work of art. A masterpiece. “My honeymoon, say you want me too~” ✨ God, I love how minimal and simplistic the background instrumental is. Just to hear her lyrics clearly. BUT ANYWAYS- back to Gun LOL. It’s like… UGH. It’s like seeing him in one of my dreams. Specifically, that “Gun’s Classroom” dream. 😳 If only I could record my own dream and show it to you. But this song made me remember how mesmerized I was when I even saw this man in my dream. Just imagine. Him walking towards you in slow motion. With that alluring gaze of his, wearing that attractive suit and tie. Interacting with you almost “intimately” behind the closed curtains where it was just only you and him standing there so close… AHHHH THIS SONG MADE ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY. MOVING ON-

West Coast - This gave me The Neighbourhood vibes ngl. 😭🖤 The bass guitar and the cool vibes in the background. With this song, it made me imagine a scenario if I was in a night ride with Gun down a highway. Either inside a fancy Porsche car with him, or riding on a motorcycle. Wind blowing through your hair, speeding away through the night. Think about it. If it was in his car, imagine his right hand grabbing onto your thigh while his left hand was firmly gripping the steering wheel. If it was on his motorcycle, imagine wrapping your arms around him from behind, ever so tightly. You lean your head onto his back tenderly as he took control of the handles… Ahhhh this song is so 😩❤️‍🔥 good for actually thinking of hot Gun scenarios LMAO

Yes to Heaven - God, this song… Made me think about (Y/N) from my story, Rendezvous. This song is literally her perspective and it makes me cry. 😭 Like deadass, it made me tear up, idk. It’s a really beautiful song. 💞 UGH IDK WHY THIS MADE ME TEAR UP. IM SO DRAMATIC. 💀💀💀 I HATE MYSELF LOL. I think the lines, “Say yes to heaven. Say yes to me.” and “If you go, I’ll stay. If you come back, I’ll be right here.” really does match with her character so well. Because whenever Gun leaves, she’ll always be there at home, waiting for him to come back. And I think the reason why it made me a bit “emotional” is because of the idea of how (Y/N) is just waiting for Gun to confront his own feelings. Like yeah, the guy is known to be a heartless bastard, but he also is now starting to actually FEEL things. I guess I got an emotional attachment to my own story. Call me crazy and a Drama Queen. 😭✨

Cinnamon Girl - Ooooo I love how soft and mellow this song is. Also, awwww… shit. 💀 This one too, reminds me of Rendezvous LMAAOOOO. Making me think of (Y/N) x Gun. GDI… 😭😭😭 These lines, “There’s things I want to say to you, but I’ll just let you live. Like if you hold me without hurting me, you’ll be the first who ever did.” Specifically, made me remember Ch. VII when Gun found (Y/N) in the convenience store, crying her eyes out. 🥲 This song made me think about how she was thinking about him without even realizing that he’s been there watching over her. And those thoughts while he was away from her, made her think about how she truly felt about him.

ALSO, THANK YOU FOR THESE WONDERFUL LANA DEL REY SONGS!!! YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC IS AMAZING!! THANK YOU ANON. 😭😭🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💗💗💗💗

[slurrmp]

I posted 926 times in 2022

45 posts created (5%)

881 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@phoebehalliwell

@timelordgifs

@endlessinspos

@sundayrubyss

@iced-tea-possibly

I tagged 915 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#0 - 63 posts

#dw - 132 posts

#dw spoilers - 72 posts

#sw - 52 posts

#snw - 36 posts

#m. ramona reed. - 32 posts

#the master - 29 posts

#starscream - 28 posts

#s. ellie & starscream. - 28 posts

#m. elenore white. - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 92 characters

#look this was a piece i had written ages ago abt a different oc & a slightly different plot.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

gdi please like this if you see it on dash &/or in the tag. I feel like I’m shadowbanned.

21 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#4

oh no the urge to write, reader is in love with the doctor but they don’t tell them and it’s too late because yaz is as well -

31 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#3

See the full post

40 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

#2

unrequited ✰ 13th doctor x reader. part one.

a/n: based on this little prompt i wrote back during the new years special. have fun with the angst because that apparently is all i can do now. also two fics in the span of at least six weeks? ahahahahahahaha, i just up and vanished again - really hope my writing funk disappears soon but like ... wygd. so this is part one, because i assignments i need to do and i just wanted to get this out there after a solid four month hiatus.

Have you ever had a crush on someone but you knew that it was almost impossible for you to do anything about it? Every time you saw them, those stupid, awful butterflies would form in the pit of your stomach and would proceed to fly all over the place and you felt like you would throw up? That your body would gravitate towards them without you even realising it, that everything they did you wanted to do as well? Well - that’s how you felt about the Doctor. You strongly knew you shouldn’t because of the whole being an alien and a gajillion years old thing  but it was just one big fucking mess. 

To say the least.

However, your little human heart couldn’t help it. Your human emotions would always get the better of you. Something the Master had relentlessly teased you about because he saw it before YOU even did. How that rat of a Time Lord saw it always confused you - he had said that it was in your eyes, but the man lied on a good day, so you never wanted to take his word for it. But - you had ended up trying your best to keep your emotions off your face after that. Though, that wasn’t even the most depressing part of the story. Your eyes would always lock on to her frame as she entered a room, watch as she’d float around the console. Your heart would speed up when she would explain plans with her hands and monologue about universes and tell stories (especially about that time she was struck by lightening having fun with Benjamin Franklin.) 

To be quite frank with yourself, you were disgusted by the way she made you feel. You had never really been big on having a partner. Never really wanted to be in a relationship - you liked being by yourself too much, hanging out with your family and friends and then coming home at the end of the night to peace and quiet - sleeping in a big bed only shared by your pet. Some would consider that sad, but you always knew that you preferred your own company to that of anyone else's. But traveling with the Doctor for more than a couple of months now, that all seemed to have changed. Your outlook on life had drastically shifted gear, considering the fact that you could probably DIE on these certain adventures - that anytime you stepped FOOT out of the TARDIS, your life was in the Doctor’s hands. You ended up making a will after the first near death experience with the Doctor you ever had. 

She made you feel like you could do anything, that you were invincible, that you couldn’t be hurt or touched - that you were under her protection. Then came the touches, the hugs, the hanging off you when telling a story. Holding hands and sharing clothes, being used as a human notepad. It was a really really bad crush (even as much as you tried to fool yourself). You had thought about telling her countless times but it never seemed like the right moment. The way she would look at you when you asked to speak to her but that all changed when Yaz entered the picture.

Yaz would always come and ruin it.

You loved Yaz, you promised you really did - it was the green eyed little alien that lived in the back of your head that made you hate to see her. They would always partner up when you were on a new planet. They would always be the first to have a moment. They would always be the ones to stay up late having tea and talking about the day.

It sucked. Majorly.

You would mumbled under your breath and just stay at the back of the pack. Graham and Ryan hardly noticed - they were too busy with their own lives to worry about yours. It was a shame that the Master was the only one to notice - that was until Dan came along. That’s when everything drastically changed. 

“You should tell her you know.” His voice had caused you to jump. You had been standing in the doorway to the console room - head peeking around the corner, watching the Doctor talk to Yaz about something. They were barely a foot apart, heads pressed together almost - looking down at the console.

“Jesus Daniel.” You complained hand coming to rest over your heart. His eyes narrowed at the name, he still hadn’t told you if that was his real name or not (you had been trying to guess his birth name for the last couple of weeks), but a smirk pulled at the corner of his lips, before his own arms crossed over his chest. 

“I’m just saying...” Your FULL name fell from his lips and a whine escaped your own. “You’re going to lose your chance.” head tilted in the direction of the console room. 

“I never had a chance.” Came the pitiful reply. Dan’s eyes narrowed again. He hadn’t been with the three of you for very long, but in the short spam of time, he had witnessed your TERRIBLE pining. Your longing looks and awful stuttering whenever you got too flustered. The older man snorted before patting you on the back. 

“You never know.” He pulled away stepping over the threshold of the console room with a wink, before he turned around and made his way up the stairs. You would as Yaz beamed at him and then drastically started retelling the story the Doctor had just told her. A groan left you, as you fell forward onto the wall once more, your head banging against it for a couple of seconds. Pulling away, you peeked around once more and watched the three of them. Eyes focusing on the Doctor. Her eyes had never once strayed from Yaz’s face, and that god awful heavy feeling in your chest reappeared. This is why you never did romance, never did love - never made yourself openly available to over people. You always ended up getting hurt. 

“Where’s...” Yaz lingered off as her dark eyes spotted you just down the stairs. Her smile reappeared (you hated that she made you feel ... comfortable) and the Doctor turned around, her own smile plastered over her pale skin. Then it disappeared and that heavy feeling got heavier. 

Oh god, don’t notice. 

You thought to yourself, Yaz had waved you up, calling your name followed by “You’ll never bloody believe what this thing does” and you had no choice but to comply. Hands twisted with each other, your eyes now avoiding the Doctor’s, as you came to stand next to Yaz - you forced a smile. 

                                                    -x-

The planet was cold. Your face had scrunched up at the sudden blast of freezing air once the TARDIS doors opened. You stood just inside the time machine, arms wrapped around your stomach and your chin buried into the fabric of your scarf. You really didn’t want to go out there - you just wanted to go back to bed. Cry about your sorrows and watch Love Actually. Mmm maybe not, that - it might make you feel worse. 

The Doctor on the other hand had been ecstatic. Started to blab about the last time she had been on a planet completely frozen, something to do with the Ood and a giant brain. Yaz and Dan however, held almost the same exact facial expression as you - they weren’t too keen about this weather, but Yaz was the first companion off the ship. Of course she bloody was. Your eyes focused on the back of her head, trying to ignore the fact that the Doctor had grasped onto the other woman’s hand immediately and they were off down the hill. Dan looked back at you with a sympathetic look. 

“Come on, love, it won’t be that bad.” He tried to comfort you. “You can partner up with me?” Bless him, he really was trying to distract you. So you gave a soft smile, only nodding your head in the direction of the others. You’d follow after - but Dan gave a look as if he didn’t believe you. Eventually when the others had started to notice that you weren’t following them they stopped. Dan still focused on your face. “Oh love...” He sighed before a hand squeezed your bicep. A choked laugh left you, shaking your head quickly you ducked to look at the floor.

“You’re going to make me cry, Daniel.” You muttered.

“Oi, you two!” The Doctor shouted back at you and Dan. Lifting your head slightly, you could see her looking back, while her hand which was still in Yaz’s, was extended. “You can’t just stay in the TARDIS all day!” You let your gaze fall back on Dan. The both of you just stood there for a couple of seconds, before he sighed and let you go.

“Don’t take too long,” He said before he stepped out fully into the cold. “She’ll start to wonder where you’ve gone.”

“Promise,” You mumbled. “Just - need to get some gloves.” You lied. Dan sighed before he turned around and trailed after the others. Taking a deep breath in, you buried your hands into the pockets of your massive jacket. “I hate this,” You mumbled, turning around you came to a sudden jolt when right in front of you was a coat rack, but instead of coats, there were a pair of gloves. A soft smile spread across yours lips, you looked up at the ceiling of the TARDIS. “Thanks old girl.” Grabbing the gloves, you slipped them on before you turned around again and followed after the others - wrapping your scarf and jacket closer to your body.

You took your spot at the back of the group - the three of them all walked in a line, that was until the Doctor had noticed. “What are you doing back there?” The question almost made you jump, looking up, the Doctor had stopped - turned around and gave you a pointed look. Your name fell from her lips, before she leaned forward, grabbed a hold of your hand and pulled you next to her. “No one is to walk at the back.” She gave you a pointed look and you couldn’t help the blush that rushed to your cheeks - you were glad that it was a SNOW planet, can just blame the weather for that one. You fell into step with her.

Her hand was about the same size as yours, which made holding it easy. Looking down at your hands, fingers laced between yours. “Don’t want to lose anyone.” The Doctor finished her voice sounding so close to your ear.

How could you tell this crush of yours to fuck off.

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45 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

stargazing ✰ 13th doctor x reader

a/n: uwu what's this? i live?

holy shit - i'm so sorry for leaving you all for like eight months. just i hit writer's block and the lack of doctor who made it hard for me to get any sort of writing done. anyway, the easter special awoke my urge to write and this came out of it. definitely not really up to parr - but i hope y'all enjoy it. just some soft fluffy moments.

slight spoilers for the special. But not heavy.

posted on my ao3 | wattpad.

“Don’t say a word.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything!”

There’s a smirk that slowly forms at the corner of your lips. Your eyes remained closed and your hands were clasped together, resting on your stomach. The breeze was cool against your face, a nice change from the whole running in the middle of the desert thing all four of you did earlier that day. The sound of waves crashing against the rocks was almost enough to lull you into a deep sleep. Your body was sore and the bandage around your rib cage was uncomfortable, but that was the price you paid when you did stupid things. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Yaz and Dan had decided to go into the village to find something for the humans of the group to eat - you had a strong craving for seafood, considering where you were staying for the night, but you had no idea what type of food you could even get on this planet. There had been a couple of places that you just could not stomach the food that had been offered to you - worms and something that looked like snails had been the last place you visited, you couldn't keep them in your stomach - throwing them back up, which meant that you didn't eat at all until you were back on the TARDIS, which had been a full twelve hours. You knew that you should probably eat something today if you didn't want the Doctor on your ass again. You had almost fainted from the lack of food on the last trip, and you had been injured this time around - running back to your little air bnb like place didn't help your injuries whatsoever. Having been forced into the bathroom, the Doctor had applied the fast healing cream onto your rib cage and also forced you on bed rest for the rest of the evening, that didn't stop you, however, from utilizing the cute little balcony thing up on the roof.

It was about twenty minutes later that the Doctor had come to join you. Nudging you slightly, so that both of you could fit on the one lounge chair together.

“I was just going to point out the constellations for you.” She continued. A sigh escaped you, as your eyes cracked open. You stared up into the spotted blackness of the sky. The planet had TWO moons, making the evening appear to be brighter than home. The multitude of stars made your head spin - it was almost like there were more stars on this side of the galaxy than at home. “But if you would rather sit here in silence, that's okay as well.”

Turning your head to look at the Time Lord - whose shoulder rested against your own - you couldn’t help the laugh that left you. “Of course you can point out the constellations for me.” You had almost been worried that the Doctor would chew you out again for your reckless behaviour today. But hearing that she only wanted to tell you about the stars, made your entire body feel light for once. The Doctor turned her head towards you - your breath sudden caught at the back of your throat. She was higher up on the recliner than you, causing her nose to brush against your forehead slightly. There had been this ... THING lingering between both of you for a while now. Ever since New Year's and the ever occurring time loop, Dan had figured it out - even Yaz and you didn’t know whether that was a good thing or not. They kept trying to nudge you in the right direction but - after dealing with the Sea Devils and the pirates, after hearing the fact that the Doctor couldn't fix herself to anyone - you backed off.

It was hard to do. Very hard to do. It almost felt like you had shut off a part of yourself, but you didn't want to make the centuries-old alien uncomfortable.

“Are you sure?” She questioned you. Tilting your head up ever so slightly, you rolled your eyes at her. She nudged your arm. “Oi, I just want to make sure - don’t want you going to Yaz and complaining about me.” A fake gasp escaped your lips as you sat up. Your right leg fell off the chair, and you twisted around to look back at the blonde.

“I do not go to Yaz to bitch thank you very much.” The Doctor laughed - causing your smile to grow wider. Slender fingers wrapped around your wrist, pulling you back down on the recliner - but the angel was wrong, causing you to stretch your ribs too far. Your face scrunched up. Why was it whenever you got into a fight, your body would meet a solid object almost every time. Your ribs hurt like a bitch, but the cream that the Doctor had put over your rib cage was slowly starting to take effect. “Besides, it’s really Dan that I go and complain to.” The Doctor snorted as you laid your head against her chest - the sound of twin heartbeats luring you in closer. Your arm slung across her stomach.

“You three...” Her voice was soft, as her fingers started to brush through your hair. “Humans, never cease to amaze me.” A huff left you. “You are so very fragile but you never back down from a fight.” Your nose scrunched once again - of course, she had to make mention of your failed fight. “And when you get hurt and knocked down, you get back up. You’ve spread across the entire galaxy and you continue to live your lives.” You tilted your head back slightly, looking up at the Time Lord. “You have such a short life span, but you do so much within the confinements of those years.”

“To you, we must seem so young.” You replied. Hazel eyes caught yours then. It was quiet for a couple of seconds, before the Doctor leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Swallowing, you buried your head into her side. She was bad for your health. Very bad. The things that you would do for this alien were almost sinful. Your mother would never have approved of this relationship - which was why you never told your parents about the things you had been doing for the last three years.

“So very young, which is why I have to keep saving you a lot.” Fingers resumed their petting of your head. “But I never get tired of it.” You could feel the Doctor’s gaze staring down at the side of your face before she tightened her arms around you, pulling you closer to her. Pulling your head out from her side, you let your gaze focus on the night sky.

It was quiet for a couple of minutes - the only noise that could be heard by both of you was the waves. Then suddenly there was a flash in the sky (accompanied by a low rumble). Your arm shot out above you, pointing to the streak of light. “What’s that? A shooting star?” You questioned, you could feel the Doctor move underneath you - her arm coming to join yours. Her index finger pointed at it and you could almost picture her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth and one eye closed. Hand traveled the direction that the “star” had come from, only for it to land on the horizon.  

“The nine-fifteen shuttle to Orion.” The Doctor answered. The prideful tone in her voice made you sit up once again and look down at her.

“The shuttle?” You questioned.

"Leaves every couple of days." A huff left you and your smile was back. "Now, come on - lie back down and I'll tell you all about these clusters of stars." And so you did, finding your position again, snuggled into the Doctor's side. Head rested against her chest, as you watched her finger dance between the shiny dots. You were going to miss this.

89 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

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