#gay travel asia

[jimseestheworld]

An old traveling guy

So yeah. I'm old... 73 years old as I write this. I'm from the USA, but spend a heck of a lot of time in southeast Asia. I picked up the traveling bug in my 30s when the middle school where I taught awarded me a grant to study elephants in Zimbabwe one summer. Really. Since then I have been all over Africa, Europe, and finally Asia in my retirement. I'm gay, I've been together with my partner for 8 years now, and I am loving to learn about cultures foreign to me. When I'm not traveling you will probably find me riding my bicycle in the desert roads of Arizona; I try to get in at least 5000 km each year, but managed well over 10,000 km during the pandemic when travel was limited.

[carlocarrasco]

The promotion of the Philippines as an LGBTQIA+ tourist destination could create an increase in crime.

Can these LGBTQIA+ tourists behave themselves and avoid the temptations of committing crime against Filipinos while touring the country?

[emo-batboy]

Battinson Guest Starring on TV Shows

SO

For someone who holds the title of Richest Man in the World, Bruce doesn’t do a lot of traveling.

Which is to say he does a LOT of traveling, but he always tries to find a way out of it.

(Are there bat-related reasons for this? Are there people-related reasons for this? Are there anxiety-related reasons for this? Who knows?)

But partners and sponsors aren’t always going to tolerate his hermit-like tendencies. So once every month or so, Alfred wrangles Bruce into a private jet and sends him off to who knows where so he can represent the company.

Usually, it’s somewhere close on the East Coast, maybe it’s across the pond, even Asia isn’t off the table, but the rarest place to spot Bruce Wayne is actually the West Coast of the US.

One day, it is announced that Bruce Wayne will be spending two (count ‘em, 2) consecutive weeks in California with his kids for some grand business convention.

The West Coast media goes feral with the news, ESPECIALLY interviewers. And because Bruce kicks up such a fuss this time, Alfred has the gall to sign him up for FOUR TV appearances.

Here are these appearances :)

RuPaul’s Drag Race

Drag Queens, especially Drag Race all-stars, contribute to a wide variety of charities

So on a new episode, the queens are challenged to design and shoot a promotional ad for their own charity

And who better to act as a guest judge for this episode than the show’s largest benefactor, CEO of the Wayne Foundation, Bruce Wayne?!

Physically? He’s older than half of the contestants. But spiritually? He screams Baby Gay.

Fifteen minutes into the episode, Bruce is welcomed into the werkroom where he gives them pointers on their campaign. He’s in his cute little three-piece suit (Alfred’s idea) with the intention of looking put-together and knowledgeable. But that’s not the only outcome.

They all flirt with him. Everyone, single or taken. The confessionals are so thirsty.

“He’s lucky the cameras are on. Otherwise, I’d eat him up faster than a bachelorette party in a buffet line.”

“My celebrity crush is talking to me, and all I can focus on are his gorgeous eyes. How am I supposed to know what he's saying?”

Of course, they shoot their shot, but most of it is joking since they don't know he's bi yet.

“Are you single, honey?” Bruce blushes. “It’s complicated.” “Well, I’ll make it simple for you.”

We all know this man can't handle being flirted with. We saw how he froze when Selina did it. It’s like he mentally bluescreens when someone calls him a pet name.

Only THEN do they learn he's bi

One of the queens jokingly asks him, “Ever been with a man before?” thinking it would be a firm no, but Bruce says, “Actually, yes.” “Oh shit, really?” And to Bruce’s embarrassment, the whole room hears him.

The flirting is thus taken up a notch.

On the main stage, Bruce has a lot of great constructive criticism. He talks about how to find the right audience, the importance of a good slogan, and even goes on a little rant about logo design.

(You cannot convince me that Bruce hasn’t hyperfixated on the business of charity work before. Or the science of marketing. They’re his favorite business topics.)

After about three minutes of him complimenting one contestant for their Drag Library pitch, he stops himself mid-sentence and says, “Oh sorry, am I talking too much?” “No, please! Keep talking, sweetheart.” Bruce covers his face to hide his blush. “Why is everyone flirting with me?” “Baby, have you seen yourself?”

While the judges deliberate, RuPaul mentions Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent. Bruce nods along for a while then suddenly just blurts out, “Wait, does it spell ****?”

The judges pause then burst out laughing. “Oh no, we’ve traumatized him!" Bruce is blushing up a storm. “I just never thought about it like that!” “Sweet, innocent Bruce. We’re so sorry.”

It’s later revealed that Bruce offered to help some of the queens launch their charity projects through the Wayne Foundation.

It’s v cute 🥰

Nailed It!

I love Nicole Byer.

She is Mother.

In all seriousness, she’s so fucking funny and she’s personable enough to pull Bruce out of his shell a bit.

The theme for this episode is Found Family. Three pairs of family members compete together—a gay father and his adopted son, an aunt who adopted her niece, and a stepfather and stepdaughter.

Because Bruce Wayne famously adopted two children, he is invited to guest judge.

So Nicole opens the episode with a zinger, the contestants are introduced, and Bruce is welcomed onto the judge’s panel beside Nicole and Jacques.

(Yes, Bruce does speak French. Yes, Nicole makes a joke about it being hot.)

Nicole: “We were surprised you accepted our invitation, Mr. Wayne. You’re notorious for staying on the East Coast. What brought you to the Nailed It! Studio?” Bruce: “My children love this show. They always tell me I should be on it since I’m so bad at baking.” Nicole: “Really? Maybe we should do a celebrity season of Nailed It! and have you compete.” Bruce: “No, you should not.”

Nicole: “So, Bruce, I know you have a butler at home who bakes for you. But what’s the grossest thing you’ve eaten? Escargot? Bad caviar?” Bruce: “I drank olive oil straight from the bottle once.” Nicole: “…What?”

The problem for Bruce is he can’t say anything bad. It just feels mean :(

(And he would rather jump into oncoming traffic than gamble with a social interaction)

For the first challenge, the contestants make cake pops. But when Bruce tries the first one, there is a sickening crunch. Bruce’s eyes widen for a second and he slowly chews.

Nicole: “What was that? Bruce, are you okay?” Bruce, clearly struggling: “It’s…good.”

“Bruce, you can spit it out. It’s okay.” “I already swallowed it.” “Oh, you poor thing.” Bruce chokes for a second, and Nicole pats his back. “Please don’t die. We can’t afford it.”

For the big challenge, production has a surprise in store for Bruce.

Dick (9) and Jason (7) run onto the set and smother Bruce with a hug.

It’s adorable. Bruce no longer cares about paying attention, okay? His kids are here :D

The two boys read from cue cards to announce the second challenge: a three-tiered Gotcha Day cake. And as per tradition, the winner of the first challenge gets a leg-up.

This time, it’s a Helping Hands Button. When they hit the button, Dick and Jason will run over and help them for three minutes. (While being supervised, of course.)

As the contestants bake, Nicole says hello to Dick and Jason, who are clambering all over Bruce like a jungle gym. They both shake her hand and talk about how they love the show.

Nicole looks pointedly at the two empty chairs beside Bruce. “You know, we brought these chairs for you two to sit in.” Dick, on Bruce’s shoulders: “We’re fine, Ms. Byer!” Nicole: “Ms. Byer? Oh, you’re a cutie, aren’t you?”

Just ten minutes before the challenge is over, the Helping Hands button is pressed, and Dick and Jason are given stools so they can help the aunt and niece stack their cake tiers.

Two minutes in, the aunt instructs them to let go of the cake. But the moment Jason pulls his hands away, the cake topples over and covers him in frosting. Jason, whispering: “Oh f*ck.” Bruce: “Jason!” Jason: “I didn’t say that! Dick did!” Nicole: *cackling as Bruce buried his face in his hands*

Jason gets cleaned up, and Dick helps them stack what can still be salvaged.

When Wes brings out the trophy, he’s dressed as Batman. Dick and Jason gets a kick out of that.

Celebrity Family Feud

Bruce was invited to the show after his SNL skit went viral a few months ago

This episode, the teams are split up by cities they grew up in. Gotham v. Star City. Naturally, his team is playing for the Wayne Foundation.

It’s a pretty odd cast of people, most of them having moved to LA or Hollywood. Bruce is the only one to still live in Gotham.

They have fun, though, despite their limited common ground. The audience has a few good laughs.

(Some at Bruce's expense)

Harvey: You're a very wealthy man, Mr. Wayne. What do you really do in that tower all day? Bruce: I, uh…business? Harvey: …You business. Bruce: ……Wait-

All in good fun. Bruce just vibes in his little corner until he needs to answer a question. It's pretty chill.

For exactly half of the episode.

Then it happens.

Steve Harvey takes two people from each team up to the buzzer and says, “We asked 100 people: Name something your parents always told you as a kid.”

What the production failed to consider is how this particular question might be a sensitive topic for some contestants.

Bruce’s team gets the question, and Steve saunters up to Bruce, completely oblivious.

“Alright, Bruce Wayne!” Bruce nods awkwardly. “Hi, Steve.” “Bruce, what’s wrong? You’re looking a bit uncomfortable.” “…I don’t like this question, Steve.” “Why not?” Bruce just gives him a desperate look, and it clicks. “Oh! Oh my gosh!”

Let’s be real. Bruce is awkward enough, but Steve Harvey cannot save an awkward moment for his life either.

But he tries his best anyway and asks, “Are you okay with answering this question, or would you like to pass?” Bruce nods frantically. “I can answer. ‘I love you.’” “I love you too, Mr. Wayne.” “No, uh, my answer is ‘I love you.’” “Oh! That’s a good one.”

Thankfully, the audience erupts in laughter. That little interaction cuts the tension, and Bruce’s answer ends up on the board.

And by god, the memes

“I love you too, Mr. Wayne” is the new “Enjoy your meal.” “You too.”

The audio clip of “I don’t like this question, Steve” goes viral on TikTok

Someone gets a pic of Bruce and Steve looking at each other with palpable fear in their eyes, and it makes its rounds all over Twitter

10/10 never again

Running Wild with Bear Grylls

Now this is the most challenging. Not because it’s difficult, of course. But because Bruce has to look stupid enough to maintain his Brucie Wayne persona but smart enough to keep himself safe.

For this episode, Bear takes Bruce to the California desert.

“How much do you know about survival, Bruce?” Bear asks. Bruce nods carefully. “I did some survival training once with a friend from boarding school.” “Oh really, how did you do?” “Fine, I think.”

This is, of course, his way of saying I trained with a league of assassins for years, but Bear can’t know that! And that’s how most of the episode goes.

Thank god Bruce's fear of being caught is mistaken for being scared of the physical challenge because every time Bear points out how well he’s doing, he breaks into a sweat.

Bear: For a businessman, you’re surprisingly fit. Bruce, sweating bullets: Oh, this is all just for show.

Bear: Wow, you’re a natural. Are you sure you’ve never set up a zip-line before? Bruce, gripping his equipment so tight he gets rope burn: I think it’s just the survival instincts.

Of course, he pretends to be out of breath a few times. The Drama.

Bruce, pretending to slip and fall: Ouch! Who knew the outdoors were so dangerous? Bear, you are crazy. Bruce, internally: How much longer are we doing this?

Bruce being a vegetarian is actually a point of contention. You see, Bear always makes their celebrity guests do something crazy for food like skin a snake or eat a mouse. Scavenging for berries just doesn’t grab the audience’s attention.

But do you know what is vegetarian?

Bear: Now, in extreme cases of survival, it’s not rare for humans to resort to drinking their own pee. That’s what we’ll be doing in a moment. Are you up for it? Bruce, visibly repulsed: I’ve had Gotham tap water. I’ll be fine.

How on God’s Green Earth did Alfred convince him to do this?

To get to the extraction point, Bear takes Bruce down a cliffside.

Bear shows Bruce the meticulous process of properly belaying from the top of a cliff, and Bruce, who has done this over 100 times is like, “Wow that’s so dangerous :( Will we be okay?”

He really tries to ramp up his acting skills this time.

(Little does he know that’s not necessary.)

Bruce goes down first as Bear belays with a cameraman filming from the top. Halfway down, Bruce hears a scuffle, and the cameraman yells, “F*ck!”

Bruce looks up, arms already out for protection, and he sees a small disk falling towards him. It’s the lens cap. He catches it on instinct.

For a second, he thinks, “Shit, was that too skilled? That’s not enough to make people think I’m Batman, right? I just caught it in midair while dangling from a cliff. That’s totally not weird and suspicious. Normal people do that—“

Then Bear yells, “Bruce, drop it!” Bruce looks up at Bear, confused. “Why?” “There's a scorpion!” That’s when Bruce looks at the lens cap and sees a black scorpion perched on top with its tail ready to strike.

They don’t have those in Gotham.

Bruce jumps in his harness and flings the cap at the rocky cliffside. He hears a crunch, and the scorpion and cap tumble to the ground. Bruce frowns. Can a scorpion survive that drop?

“You just killed a scorpion, mate!” Bear cries. Bruce looks up in horror. “I killed it?!” “Hell yeah!” Bruce’s face falls. “No!”

Because oh. shit.

Bruce just killed something. The sad, orphaned vegetarian just killed a scorpion.

Bruce has a meltdown.

He didn’t mean to kill it!!!! Oh no, he just killed an innocent little creature. Yeah, he punches people for fun sometimes, and he definitely put a few violent criminals in the hospital, but he’s never committed MURDER!!

This poor little scorpion died due to his own negligence, and he feels so so so bad about it.

Bruce is a mess as he climbs the rest of the way down.

Bruce, cradling the scorpion’s body: I don’t know how to perform CPR on a scorpion! Bear: Bruce, you took its head clean off. Bruce: *sad noises*

Legit inconsolable. To him, it’s like he just murdered a puppy

Once they're out, Bear is trying to cheer him up. Bless him.

Bear: We’ve conquered the wild! Haven’t we, Bruce? Bruce, head between his legs, still mourning the scorpion: I’m never going outside again.

Yeah, no one’s going to think he’s Batman after that.

And that's all four of Bruce's TV appearances from the West Coast :) Dick and Jason never let him live any of it down. Alfred is almost sorry. (He is not sorry.)

Let me know your thoughts! What other TV shows do you think Battinson would appear on as a guest?

Okie dokie :D Love y'all! Have a good day <3

[waitmyturtles]

(Source)

The Lower House (House of Representatives) will be hearing Thailand’s marriage equality bill at 9:30 am Bangkok time (10:30 pm Eastern for those of us in the States). The bill, if passed, would still have to be approved in Thailand’s Senate.

(Source and source)

Below the fold is Bloomberg.com's report on the happenings (source):

Bill to Legalize Same-Sex Marriage in Thailand Heads to Parliament

Bill is supported by most major parties, needs king approval

Thailand would be first in region to codify marriage equality

By Patpicha Tanakasempipat, March 26, 2024 at 2:00 PM PDT

A bill to legalize same-sex marriage could face a vote in Thailand’s parliament as early as Wednesday. If it passes, the country will be the first in Southeast Asia to establish marriage rights for gay and lesbian couples.

The House of Representatives will take up the legislation, technically an amendment to the Civil and Commercial Code, for second and third readings when it meets at 9 a.m. Lawmakers may vote later in the day.

The bill would legalize marriage for same-sex partners aged 18 and above, along with rights to inheritance, tax allowances and child adoption, among others. Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin’s administration has made it a signature issue, and advocates say it would also burnish Thailand’s reputation as an LGBTQ-friendly tourist destination.

Taiwan and Nepal are the only places in Asia that currently recognize same-sex marriage, and recent efforts elsewhere in the region have had mixed results. Hong Kong has yet to comply with a 2023 court order to establish laws recognizing same-sex partnerships, and India’s Supreme Court refused to legalize same-sex marriage, saying it’s an issue for parliament to consider.

The Thai bill would change the composition of a marriage from “a man and a woman” to “two individuals,” and change the official legal status from “husband and wife” to “married couple.”

Thai laws have protected LGBTQ people from most kinds of discrimination since 2015, but attempts to formalize marriage rights have stalled. In 2021, the Constitutional Court upheld the law recognizing marriage as exclusively between a man and a woman. Last year, a bill to recognize same-sex civil partnerships failed to clear parliament ahead of elections.

Rights advocates have higher hopes for the bill pending now, noting that it has broad support from most of the major parties. If it passes, it will need to be approved by the Senate and endorsed by the King. Then it would be published in the Royal Gazette and take effect 120 days later.

Srettha’s government has also promised to work on a bill to recognize gender identity, and the health ministry has also proposed legalizing commercial surrogacy to allow LGBTQ couples to adopt children. Thailand is seeking to host the WorldPride events in Bangkok in 2028.

Legalizing same-sex marriage could have positive effects on tourism, which contributes about 12% to the nation’s $500 billion economy. In 2019, before the pandemic froze international tourism, LGBTQ travel and tourism to Thailand generated about $6.5 billion, or 1.2% of gross domestic product, according to industry consultant LGBT Capital.

Formal recognition could boost the reputation of a place already considered one of Asia’s best for LGBTQ visitors, said Wittaya Luangsasipong, managing director of Siam Pride, an LGBTQ-friendly travel agency in Bangkok.

“It will become a selling point for Thailand and raise our strength in the global stage,” Wittaya said. “It will create a relaxed and safe atmosphere for tourism and help attract more and more LGBTQ visitors. We could also see more weddings by LGBTQ couples, which could generate income across industries and local communities.”

[bl-bracket]

Mini-Bracket: Best Marriage Proposal in a QL

So, as many of y'all may have heard, as of June 18, 2024 the marriage equality bill just got passed in Thailand, making it the first Southeast Asian country to legalize same sex marriage and also only one of three countries in all of Asia to legalize it (Taiwan legalized it 2019 and Nepal legalized it in 2024 as well). While technically it won't fully go into effect for another 120 days, I've planning to do something to celebrate it for a while so with great pleasure I introduce the first mini-bracket: Best Marriage Proposal in a QL!!!

What's a mini-bracket? Well since we are currently still in the Most Unhinged Bracket (currently in the finals and about halfway through the loser bracket) and I have a planned hiatus coming up due to traveling, what it really means is that there will be a shorter submission time, no prelims, all one-day long polls, and will be running at the same time as everything else. This is just supposed to be a little fun thing to celebrate marriage equality!

Same base rules apply (which you can read in the form and in the pinned post) EXCEPT this time I'm going to open it up to all QLs! While GLs are still in the early stages of becoming an established industry compared to BLs (and thus it still feels kinda unfair to them if I were to say that that the brackets were for all qls but would still be like 90% bl at least), it didn't feel right to not include them in this one!

Also there's some extra rules this time!

For the purposes of this poll, the proposal MUST be for a queer couple (mlm or wlw)

While this is to celebrate gay marriage being legalized in Thailand, any East Asian live action bl is eligible

It must be a legitimate marriage proposal, not just an offhand comment about wanting to get married in the future or making some other type of serious commitment as a couple that isn't marriage (like moving in together). Those are all good, but not what I'm wanting to highlight here. 

Submissions Close on June, 22 @ 7 PM GMT

Submit your favorite marriage proposals in a QL Here!

@tournament-announcer

[thisonelikesaliens]

Update on Thailand's marriage equality bill:

Reporting by Panu Wongcha-um; Editing by Martin Petty

BANGKOK, March 27 (Reuters) - Thailand's lower house of parliament on Wednesday passed a marriage equality bill at the final reading, in a landmark step that moves the country closer to becoming the third territory in Asia to legalise same-sex unions.

The bill now requires approval from the Senate and endorsement from the king before it becomes law. It had the support of all of Thailand's major parties and was passed by 400 of the 415 lawmakers present, with 10 voting against it.

"We did this for all Thai people to reduce disparity in society and start creating equality," Danuphorn Punnakanta, chairman of the parliamentary committee on the draft bill, told lawmakers ahead of the reading.

"I want to invite you all to make history."

The passing of the bill marks a significant step towards cementing Thailand's position as one of Asia's most liberal societies on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender issues, with openness and free-wheeling attitudes coexisting with traditional, conservative Buddhist values.

Thailand has long been a draw for same-sex couples, with a vibrant LGBT social scene for locals and expatriates, and targeted campaigns to attract LGBT travellers.

The bill could take effect within 120 days of royal approval. Thailand would follow Taiwan and Nepal in becoming the first places in Asia to legalise same-sex unions.

The legislation has been more than a decade in the making, with delays due to political upheaval and disagreement on what approaches to take and what should be included in the bill.

The Constitutional Court had in 2020 ruled Thailand's current marriage law, which only recognises heterosexual couples, was constitutional, recommending legislation be expanded to ensure rights of other genders.

Parliament in December approved four different draft bills on same-sex marriage in the first reading and tasked a committee to consolidate those into a single draft.

(source)

[marengogo]

Rambling in INFJese - Part 10: Queerful In South Korea

SGMB and RPWP focused playlist

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Gurls, Bois and Enbies … Hellooooooooooo 📢 Yes, I’m finally, officially, back from my travels.

Am I feeling relaxed and refreshed?

NO.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m more tired than when I left 😬. You see, there was more excitement than I thought, or even budgeted for, but, lowkey highkey I knew it was going to turn out like that, so, it was what it was and it was unforgettable 😊💜. 

Now, on to the topic of today!

As the title kinda spoils, I would like to bring forth the topic of queerness in present day Korea, touching upon specific sub-subjects within this main-theme, which you will discover as you keep reading.

In order to provide more context and understanding, I’ll have to bring up a bit of Geography, a tad of Politics and a lot of History, and let me make this clear, even though I have been out of politics for quite some time I used to be very invested in world politics … I am presently indeed somewhat annoyed, because there seems to be a lot of misinformation that has been going around with regards to what it might mean to be gay/queer person in South Korea, in the big year of 2024, which is why I’d also like to encourage us to be proactive and do some research, on our own, with the available resources that are out there. I know it sounds heavy, but I promise I’ll try and make it as least cumbersome, and as much relatable to what might concern all Queer people, and JK and JM of course, as possible ✌🏾.

Let’s start with some Geography.

Asia … is a big ass continent. Because it is so big, amongst the people who make these kind of decisions, it was decided that this continent would have to be divided into 5 regions: Central, East, South, Southeast and West. The regions we are going to be concerned with are East and Southeast also known as ASEAN. The East has a total of 8 countries, out of which we are going to focus on 4 being; China, Japan, South Korea and Taiwan, while the Southeast has a total of 11, out of which we are only going to concentrate on 1, being Thailand … aaand that was all for Geography; painless right?

Great. So now it is time for some of History. We are now going to be talking about the history of the BL genre and the Queer art genre within two particular cultures; Eastern and Western.

BL, otherwise known as Boy’s Love, is a genre that was born in Japan in the 1970s. To properly discuss the world of BL it would take way too many blogs, so I’m afraid I won’t delve too deep into it, but in order to proceed with our discourse I need for everyone to at least understand the substantial difference between, for example, a series like The Eight Sense and Heartstopper. The first is a BL and the other is a Queer Coming-of-Age Drama. These two series are the I most point out very positive outcome of a lot of struggle and progress within both the BL and Queer art genre through the years.

The East and BLs - BL was created by women to be consumed by other women in Japan. It had nothing to do with creating content for gay/queer people, and this is very fundamental for everyone to understand. The thing is that it doesn’t matter where in the world you are, if you are or were a girl/woman you know the struggles are real. Different parts of the world deal with this frustration in different ways, and Japan and eventually the other 4 Asian countries I listed above found this to be one of them. The BL genre is basically having two men in a forbidden relationship, driven by mad passion, and who would always choose each other over the rest of the world. Star crossed-lovers where one of them would always be the Seme/Top or male-male and the other the Uke/Bottom or female-male. At the core of it all, BL was intended to be escapism, which eventually turned into fetishism and now can be all the above and something else entirely; evolution aye?

Mainly Asian women perhaps used BL to feel like their opinions and emotions could matter, in an environment where like also many other countries in Africa men are the ones that have the last say, or just any say at all. So they fulfilled their fantasy of being heard, and having power, while at the same time having the “strongest/most ideal” of men fall desperately in love with this male version of themselves. It is obviously much more complex than my two line sentence explanation, but for now, kindly keep this image in your mind.

Moving on!

The West and Queer Art - The queer genre in the West for the longest time was almost always a guaranteed tragedy. Interestingly enough, even though the first movie that mentioned homosexuality was in the 1960, the beginning of Queer culture in movies was, also for the West, in the 1970s. I can’t tell you the amount of books and films I have read and seen in my day says the woman in her thirties LOL and, despite the heart-wrenching looming tragedy, I would still enjoy finding comfort during those few chapters/scenes when the couple/pairing was happy, even though I knew for a fact that either one of them or both would die, or be eternally separated, or some other kind of tragedy.

The funny thing is that I would just accept it, because why not? Is not like my reality showed any different. It wasn’t like I was aware of happy and successful queer people around me, so why would I expect to read or watch anything else? Also I am a nasty ass angsty person so really I have no excuse. 

… are y’all following me thus far?

Now, let’s take a bit of a leap into the 2000s where money-makers finally clocked in on the fact that there is mad-money that can be made with BL in the East and Queerness in the West. In the East we start adopting fanservice within boybands and Asian-Dramas, we start printing thousands of BL mangas, and producing as many animes to match. In the West we keep having the token queer comedian appear on every show as well as making movies of historic queer figures who have impacted the world somehow, so that the queers can feel represented, even though all the actors are for the most part straight, because at this point in time, even though we acknowledge that Queer people exist, coming out is still very meh.

As the 2000s progress and we enter the 2010s thanks to actual progress within some western countries, the interweb and social media it becomes increasingly easier for an Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin (Bl lover girl/boy/enby) to find themselves in say the UK, which has areas that breathe queerness and queer history and for a Western Queer to find themselves in say Japan where they can easily buy a manga about “queers” in happy relationship or, somewhere in South Korea, can easily see two very attractive boys/girls from a random kpop band openly kiss.

And then, in the midst of this “cultural” exchange, and awakening, something happens.

The Eastern Fujoshi/Fudanshi/Fujin realise that there are actual real queer people in the world sounds stupid, but believe me, it is not. That queer people are not just characters in a book, or anime, and that in fact there really are people in the world who are for example of the same sex and truly wanna be together and, if gay, for example, can also be both very masculine and still want to be together. At the same time the Western Queer realise that they actually can be happy, and that they deserves a happy ending, because some of this BLs aren’t half as bad and they sometimes make valid points and then you find out that actual queer people are now also writing BLs so things start to make some sense. 

As I mentioned, society was also changing, Queer people in the West started gaining a few rights, such as being able to get married in America and some European countries, and as a consequence, in the following decade, we now have series and movies that have Queer protagonist, with happy endings to boot! In the East, things are either not moving at all or moving a bit differently, or kinda slowly, but still it is movement. Within the countries that are moving differently, talking about Queerness is still heavy but has finally become something that they “don’t mind” just talking about and the gay neighbour is actually seen as the gay neighbour, whether they will talk to them is debatable, but at least they are recognised as such and not absurdly explained away or their existence ignored.

Now back to geography. The reason why I mentioned those 5 countries (China, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan and Thailand) is because at some point in the 2010s they were the main producers, and consumers, of BL within the Asian continent, and yes, while still being hella homophobic and, but let’s be real for a second, queer people have been around since the beginning of time, so even though BL was made and intended for women, our Queer Eastern Siblings would find a way to secretly also consume BL, being the closest thing to reading about a queer relationship, so added to the westerner consumption as well, it is no surprise that these 5 countries suddenly had a boom, despite having been being homophobic. 

Hence, it can be said that these 5 countries were on the same wavelength in the early 2010s, but what about now? With the considerable change in behaviour and thought with regards to Queer people in these countries in the early 2020s where do these 5 countries stand with regards to their Queer people and politics? Well, China has now banned BLs entirely, and I will not delve into their further lack of queer rights. Taiwan and Thailand have legalised Queer marriage. Then there is Japan which is making progress towards trying to legalise Queer marriage with to my greatest joy a successful ruling that happened this year in March related to same-sex unions … so, what about South Korea?

Well … SK is so close 🥹 … Yet so far 😫

It’s like they are taking 4 steps forward and 3 steps backwards, constantly. They are well far from China-levels which is a fucking relief I tell you! but they are dragging their feet to be at Japan-levels (and Japan is very close to Thailand and Taiwan Queer status currently). Yet, it is not as negative as it seems, or as some people try to portray it. You look around social media and they depict SK as if it were China. SK is currently facing a situation where it notices that things are changing and change is scary y’all. Resistance is the usual reaction to change, and the older generations, mainly those led by the Christian groups are not really where is at. SK’s youth and older liberal generations hold the answer to the Queer Korea questions.

So what exactly makes SK look hopeful? Well, time to get back to some History again 😘

The first Queer organisation in SK was formed in 1993 by 3 gay men and 3 lesbian women. The following year the 6 separated into 2 groups and formed the first gay organisation and the first lesbian one respectively. In 1997 we have the first demonstration for gay and lesbian rights, which then lead into 2000, the year of the first Pride Parade, which is one of the events of the very first Seol Queer Culture Festival Daegu Queer Culture Festival will be created in 2009, do keep this in mind … but another major event happened in the year 2000.

Y’all know that saying X walked so that Y could run? Well Hong Seok Cheon was basically forced to walk so that Queer Korean could learn how to properly train to run.

Though Seok-cheon is presently back to being somewhat popular again, his coming out was pretty traumatic. His career as comedian/actor started in 1994 and he was quite popular which landed him a good number of acting roles, and a lot of placements in comedy shows, as well as a kids show. In 2000 he was asked about his sexuality and he had no qualms in replying that he was gay. The show editors decided to cut out that part but a journalist gotta love them 🙃 got a hold of the footage and forced him to “elaborate”. Upon confirming, Seok-cheon lost all his jobs and was shunned verbally abused, discrimination and the lot, oh yes … by his own country. 

Not surprisingly, given that nobody in his own country wanted to interact with him, he at first thought of moving to the US to start afresh, but then decided against it. Seok-cheon decided to stay and prove to everyone in his country that he could make it and be successful again. And that he did. In 2002 he opened the first of what now is a high end chain of 9 restaurants in Itaewon. 2004 he joined the Democratic Labor Party and was selected by Time magazine as the Asian Hero of that year and in the following years Seok-cheon will keep racking up achievements  🎶🎵Did you see my bag? Did you see my bag? 🎶🎵 Namean?! (I’m not gonna list them all but you should definitely look him up and learn a bit about him, if you are interested).

But how does that connect to today? In 2008 he started his own talk show Coming Out and though there was a bit of resistance at the beginning as expected, the youth came in force and he started gaining audiences and boom! He was back on TV and slowly he’d get also a few cameos on prominent media, such as the Netflix drama Itaewon Class. Now let’s leave the lime-light for a second and let's look at the military 😬. It is vitally important that people understand that being gay is not illegal in any of the 5 countries we’ve been talking about yes, even China, but the public opinion and beliefs of each country greatly influence how their queer communities are thought of and treated.

Now, SK Military has become pretty infamous within the queer community for conducting witch-hunts in order to find out and humiliate gay soldiers, so much so that organisations such as Amnesty eventually had to step in. That being said, let's be real real real for a second. Though it is appalling what they have done to the queer soldiers, the SK military was also very famous for hazing, assaulting, causing cadets regardless of sexuality to want to unalive themselves and what more. All of the aforementioned, which put SK’s military on the map in a not so positive light globally, added to the increase in suicides, made the government address the situation, and they eventually came up with solutions such as the buddy system, which was first implemented in 2003. But, back to the gays. The most popular witch-hunt happened in 2017 where two soldiers amongst others were outed, but these particular two were found guilty of having sex off-base, during off hours.

In 2022 this conviction was overturned, the soldiers were no longer guilty and it is now no longer illegal, for queer soldiers, to have sex off-base during off-hours. You know what else happened in 2022? SK aired their first Queer reality shows, one being To Me(a)rry Queer and and the other being His Man. In 2023, His Man 2 will give us our first successful real-life queer couple, who are our beloved couple Junseong and Seongho (together known as Junseongho). They are the first queer couple to ever appear on Dazed magazine and we are all familiar with Dazed, it is not the front page like our boys get, but we all know how big of a deal this is, right?

You know what else happened in 2023? Remember that Daegu Queer Culture Festival I was talking about? The Mayor of Daegu (big Christian sympathiser) tried to stop this festival which includes the Parade and many other events, even though the Court ruled it was okay for the Festival to be carried out. The Mayor gathered other supporters and pulled up to the group, but the Daegu Police protected the Festival and removed the mayor and his “friends” from the premises. This was big and made news worldwide. 

In fact, Daegu’s Queer Culture Festival is the second largest one in the country, after Seoul’s. This is mainly possible because the Local Authorities (such as the police) are quite independent in belief from their present Mayor and the Christian factions. In contrast, for example, Busan’s Queer Culture Festival had a two year run but was then cancelled in 2019. Unfortunately, in Busan, The Mayor, the Local Authorities and the Christian factions are buddy-buddies making it much harder to get protection and permissions, aaaaaand things like that, kids, is why it is super important to vote for your local administration as well.

Even though these are all very important stepping stones, SK is nowhere close to being the UK, obviously. The LGBTQ community still has to get all their core rights being legalised, and queer people can still be subject to random ass attacks, such as the singer Holland had in 2022, which, by the way, also still occasionally does happen in the UK and everywhere else in the Queer World. Which is a general minority reality I’m afraid.

Furthermore, it is still illegal to have sex on base, which the country maintains that they are upholding because they are trying to prevent possible sexual assaults not too mad about this tbh, which is a valid concern, but most importantly they now know that the world is watching and why is that important? Because, for example, even though they are now separated, one of the boys from the Me(a)rry Queer couples enlisted around the same time with JK & JM and from his posts and photo-booth pictures that other soldiers posted of him, he seems to be making friends and to be comfy as comfy as you can get while serving, kinda like Joonie and most likely JM & JK

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A post shared by 박보성 (@park_bosung)

Not quite the attitude of someone fearing a witch-hunt, right? But then again, there isn’t much to hunt when you are already out, it is afterall illegal to hunt people and the world is now aware; is there? …

Now back to the general people of SK. According to a survey conducted in 2023 last year, 56% of South Koreans still oppose same-sex marriage (in comparison with only 26% of Japanese). 56% is not bad but then 72% don’t want queer people in their neighbourhoods and  workplace, though 81% think that it is not right to terminate people because of their sexual orientation 4 steps ➡️3 steps ⬅️… … … Basically it’s okay to be queer here as in SK, but not here-here, perhaps over there like a queer only neighbourhood or something which at the moment is the Itaewon district. 

So yes, 2024 Queer SK is still struggling though they are not going to be overtly nasty about it, because the world is watching. I mean, don’t get me wrong, progress is progress and we love to see that, it is actually amazing, but there still needs to be a general environment where LGBTQ rights in SK need to be recognised and for queer Koreans to not be discriminated against in their social/work/family life. It is also great that Queer media is trying to transition more and more from only BL to actual Queer Drama, for example I am really looking forward to watching Love In The Big City which btw also stars Kim Go Eun.

There is still work to be done, but I think Jung Cueri, a lesbian woman who helps with the Seoul Queer Culture Festival, says it best (here is the full article https://www.dw.com/en/why-are-south-koreans-less-welcoming-of-lgbtq-neighbors/a-68698268 ):

“I think the attitudes of younger generations of Koreans are getting better," she said, pointing out that young LGBTQ+ individuals "tend to come out sooner to their families, in their workplaces and schools than my generation because they are more aware of their sexuality through social media and exposure to various discussions that are more tolerant of LGBTQ+ people." And the cultural festival can help to be a catalyst to change further, she believes. "It will get better," she said. "And that is why the organizers and everyone else involved in the festival are working so hard; they know that Korean society will get better, and they want to contribute to that.

From where I stand it seems Hopeful, Queerful, if you may.

So, Fighting!, Queer South Korea!

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo. 

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's weird where I am right now, Okay?

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top. However, I've put quite a few on hold for travel reasons.

Oct 2023 Wk 4

Only a few screen shots for you this week, my hotel wifi is actually THAT bad.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Classic unlucky in love failed crush on straight bestie = both v queer and v emo yaoi. I gotta say I like these actors way better in this than their previous series, and maybe that’s because Tew is more like Tul and I just like Meen better when he’s… erm… mean. All of which is to say, this is off to a wonderful start and I am about to lose my very sleep deprived little mind... ready for a ABL ecstasy rant?

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN.

"I play support because that way everyone is happy to see me show up," might be the single best moment of characterization BL has EVER seen.

Look here, in the grand cornucopia of BL universes this is my metaverse. It's pulp... but relatively high production. It has an established pair that I know I like... but who were given crap before. It's a tidy little script, it's not gonna run too long, and it's ALL the archetypes and tropes I love but rarely see. It's Japan's style otaku plus Korea's style gangster, Thailand's style friendship group, and it arrived out of NOWHERE. It's Korea's IP & money, Thailand's talent, and China's streaming service.

Do we know what the hell is going on?

No we do not.

Do we care when it's this much fun?

No we do not.

(In this I speak for everyone... no, EVERYONE.)

This show I why I got into BL.

Don't bother me with trifles. Me and My Dear Gangster Oppa are sailing off into the infinite pixilated sunset together, thank you very much.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - I managed to watch most of it on low rez before YT "discovered" I was in Asia and therefore could not be allowed to watch Asian shows. (AKA my VPN failed me.) But it seemed like a good ep.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Lucky Love ep 10 of 24 - I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. 7/10 but close to an 8. It was really quite charming.

However: Next week looks not good on many levels - it's horror and I spotted guitar. Which is even more horrific. 

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - do temporal paradoxes exist in Thailand? That is the question. I gotta say Tor (Ongsa) is carrying this show and is doing a really great job, it's just the story itself doesn't resonate with me. Ugh it's so sad.

Is it, indeed, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

We only on ep 5 and had a full story arc already, there is A LOT more to go.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 9 of 10 eps - the fact that in losing Sky Venus also lost his surrogate family explains his resulting bitterness a little bit more. I wish we had gotten this back story much earlier. Still stupid pulp made me cry, which of course means it's back in my good books. This story is slow as fuck, but I'm going on a rollercoaster with it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 11 of 13(?) - I love them, okay? All of them. This is a great sappy classic Taiwanese BL and it is my baby and you can’t take it away from me. MINE. 

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 8 of 10 - oh noes it got sad, I thought they would at least would have had drunken sex before the drama. Sigh. Still the kissing was good, as it should be from Taiwan.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 4 of 5 - Amane is so brave. About being gay. Being out. Confessing. Its admirable if scary. Otherwise this ep was pretty slow. 

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga) 3-4 of 8 - how do I feel about this show? Conflicted. Are OnlyOneOf doing a great job? Yes, actually. Am I enjoying it? No, not really. Is this anyone's fault? I don't think so.

The little linguistic negotiation was cute tho. And we seem to have gotten idols kissing in a BL both in the same group, so that glass ceiling dildo has finally been broken.

NineMill are unexpectedly good, also KB plays a great evil ex. Of the 3, I think only Nine is good enough to go into acting permanently (but he's not tall enough). Still, all hail OnlyOneOf... kings of the "gay concept." You boys make me v nervous but as couple-branding goes, you just out branded Thailand. Mad props baibies. Legit never thought I'd see the day.

Trust Korea to be in it to win it.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6 of ? - i pretty much just forgot to watch this.

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch and do a series review in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - completed but I couldn't catch the last ep, my final thoughts in Nov.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 12 fin - completed, but see afore mentioned YT issues. I'll review it in Nov. I anticipate better internet soon.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) - adaptation of Harada’s manga of the same name (which I did not like) about a convenience store clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 1 of 14 - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

Upcoming November BL

11/3 Twins the series (Thailand ????) 1 of 10

11/17 Pit Babe (Thai) - Pavel my love!

11/19 Bake Me Please (OhmFluke but not, Thailand)

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Thailand) - horroresk

11/25 The Sign (Thailand) - horroresk

11/30 For Him the series (Thailand) - high heat

VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled

Cooking Crush (OffGun, Thailand) - may be delayed, there some kinda gossip/rumor/shade happening at GMMTV

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My Universe - I just enjoyed the angle of this kiss shot.

Uh huh. Sure, honey. (Bump Up Buisness)

COULD THIS EXPLAIN THE SNUFFLE KISS?!!!!

(Last week)

[s7ray-cat]

PSA for any LGBTQ2IA+ people traveling abroad

This is a link to the LGBTQ+ Travel Safety Index

(Disclaimer: These are excerpts from an article I found)

These are some tools to find safe places to travel for LGBTQ2IA+ people:

LGBTQ-specific travel news and safety basics

U.S. State Department ✈ A section of this government-run online resource offers basic pointers for LGBTQ travelers such as travel document checklists, general safety tips, and information about travel insurance and various U.S. embassy locations.

Equaldex ✈ Launched in 2014, this interactive map-anchored website keeps a running tab on LGBTQ rights–related laws around the world via a global network of user contributions.

National Center for Transgender Equality ✈ This Washington, D.C.–based advocacy organization addresses information relevant to gender-nonconforming and transgender travelers. It features a particularly comprehensive guide to airport security that addresses concerns related to potentially intrusive TSA screening procedures.

OutRight Action International ✈ Formerly known as the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, this nonprofit publishes news, studies, and reports on LGBTQ issues around the world that can help travelers stay informed about safety in various destinations.

Erasing 76 Crimes ✈ Journalist and LGBTQ advocate Colin Stewart heads up this news-oriented blog that spotlights global developments related to LGBTQ rights spanning countries across the Middle East, Asia, Africa, Europe, Oceania, and the Americas.

GoAbroad’s LGBTQ Study Abroad Guide✈ For queer students interested in studying abroad, this PDF provides a wealth of information, including tips for coming out to a host family, LGBTQ-specific scholarships, and a list of queer-friendly study abroad programs.

LGBTQ-friendly accommodations and services

The International LGBTQ+ Travel Association ✈ This website acts as a one-stop-shop for all things related to LGBTQ travel planning. It brings together a massive network of queer-approved hotels, transportation providers, tourism boards, travel agencies, tour operators, event promoters, and local media in over 80 countries worldwide; it also maintains recommendation-based travel and business blogs.

Purple Roofs ✈ An LGBTQ mainstay since the late ’90s, this booking website showcases small, family-owned bed-and-breakfasts, hotels, vacation rentals, inns, and tour companies worldwide. It also hosts a variety of related travel resources, including event listings and a dedicated LGBTQ travel blog.

World Rainbow Hotels ✈ This modern travel directory combines a curated list of stylish, queer-friendly hotels in countries where attitudes toward gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans travelers are for the most part accepting. The website also features an image-driven blog full of travel inspiration, global news, events, and other articles.

Travel Gayand Travel Gay Asia ✈ These twin booking sites serve a predominantly gay male audience, pointing international travelers to city guides with relevant information about bars, clubs, saunas, shops, beaches, and events, as well as queer-friendly hotels across the globe.

GayCities ✈ A similarly gay male–focused online travel guide, this web resource recommends gay-friendly bars, clubs, restaurants, hotels, shops, gyms, and more in 238 different cities from Cape Town to Mexico City.

In addition to explicitly LGBTQ outlets, you can now find pages dedicated to LGBTQ consumers on mainstream online travel booking sites like Expedia and Orbitz. Queer-oriented promotions and packages are also often offered by big-name hotels such as Marriott and Kimpton.

LGBTQ-specialized tour operators and agencies

LGBTQ-friendly tour operators for organized trips

For LGBTQ travelers who’d rather leave trip planning to the experts, award-winning tour operators such as Outstanding Travel, Zoom Vacations, Out Adventures, Toto Tours, Detours Travel, and Concierge Travel all offer a diverse array of international group and private trips. International tour operator R Family Vacations also designs and leads LGBTQ family-friendly trips (plus a few new adults-only options) on land and at sea for public groups and individuals. The queer-run wilderness education organization, The Venture Out Project, operates LGBTQ-specific backpacking trips in the United States for teens, adults, and families.

LGBTQ-friendly cruises

Inclusive travel company Vacaya hosts curated LGBTQ getaways on chartered cruise ships, as well as to all-LGBTQ international resorts. The popular lesbian travel brand Olivia Cruises has been running entertainment-filled cruise, resort, adventure, and riverboat group trips exclusively for queer female–identified travelers since 1990. And cruise company Source Events, which caters predominantly to gay men and their families, organizes both all-gay charters and private LGBTQ groups aboard larger cruise ships (as well as personalized cruise journeys and on-land group itineraries).

Related Free Travel Apps to Download Before Your Next Trip

LGBTQ-friendly travel and networking apps

From joining queer-specific networking groups, to checking for upcoming LGBTQ events in different cities, to starting important conversations about shared experiences through hashtags such as #travelingwhiletrans, LGBTQ travelers have long relied on social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter when planning for domestic and international trips. More recently, meetup apps have created new opportunities for connection between LGBTQ travelers.

Apps (available on iOS and Android)

Meetup ✈ This stalwart community-building platform is a great tool for connecting with fellow LGBTQ folks and getting to know local queer scenes on the road. The “LGBTQ Meetups” section points app users toward various happy hours, professional networking events, book clubs, and hiking groups, as well as playgroups for LGBTQ parents.

SCRUFF Venture ✈ Gay dating app SCRUFF recently launched a travel-oriented edition aimed at making it easier to connect with LGBTQ people “before and while you travel.” By clicking into one of the app’s 500-plus destinations, users can view members marked as “visiting now” or “visiting soon” in each given location. The app also provides travel tips from city “Ambassadors” (members who volunteer to give advice and recommendations to visitors), plus updates about LGBTQ issue–related travel advisories.

Refuge Restrooms ✈ This important resource for trans, intersex, and gender-nonconforming individuals maps out safe restrooms in various countries around the world, which users can search for based on proximity to a location.

Related Seeing the World Through Rainbow-Colored Glasses

LGBTQ-focused travel magazines and blogs

Magazines

Out Magazine’s online outpost Out Traveler covers everything from luxury LGBTQ-friendly hotels and nightlife hot spots to the latest must-have gadgets for jet-setters. Passport Magazine, available in both digital and print formats, touches upon a wealth of topics related to LGBTQ travel, with sections devoted to food and drink, hotel reviews, product roundups, and events. Also worth checking out is Connextions Magazine, which compiles long-form hotel reviews, human interest stories, destination guides, and other global lifestyle content relevant to LGBTQ travelers. (The print and digital publication also has a Spanish edition.)

Although not their main focus, many widely circulated LGBTQ lifestyle outlets like the Advocate, Curve, Autostraddle, Diva, and Chill also feature travel-related news, commentary, city guides, hotel reviews, profiles, and more.

Blogs

Touted as “a lifestyle blog for men and other stylish travelers,” the popular blog Travels of Adam hosts op-eds and personal essays, LGBTQ travel tips and hacks, and restaurant, bar, and hotel reviews in destinations from Egypt to England. Married couple Auston and David head up another gay male–focused travel blog called Two Bad Tourists, which features navigating international gay-friendly destinations, festivals, and events.

On the queer female travel blog Dopes on the Road, you can expect to find a wide range of content, from travel diaries and safety tips to pop culture commentary. Beautiful photo galleries, travel journals, LGBTQ profiles and interviews, travel tips, and destination guides dominate Once Upon a Journey, a helpful travel blog from lesbian couple Roxanne Weijer and Maartje Hensen.

[heatwa-ves]

Wait what is jojos actually about?? Or is there no plot just a bunch of muscular gayboys running around for 1 million seasons?? I have a friend who loves jojos and they keep talking about tarot cards. Also I think they mentioned vampires at one point??

you have opened pandoras box here I'll TRY not to yap endlessly but no promises. jjba follows the joestar family the protagonist of each part are all related and all have a name beginning with jo (or gio. if you're italian) hence jojo. and the first few parts while having some things carry over from previous parts could probably be watched as standalone (tho you HAVE to have seen 1 and 3 in order to watch 6) so. quick summary of each of the parts I've seen (7 out of the 9) (part 9 is ongoing)

part 1 phantom blood (1880s or thereabouts): blonde british bisexual man (dio) is such a bitch ass hater he kills his adopted father becomes a vampire and tries very hard to kill his adopted brother jonathan joestar.

part 2 battle tendency (1920s): jonathan joestars grandson joseph is a beautiful brunette bisexual and he has to kill these four extremely cunty evil guys with the help of another beautiful blonde bisexual who he has a gay little thing going on with

part 3 stardust crusaders (1980s) : stands exist now and it's all dios fault. 100+ years later and he just won't die he's too much of a hater. josephs grandson jotaro goes on a roadtrip from japan all across asia to egypt kicking tarot card themed ass on the way while travelling with the most boring character ever, his xenophobic bisexual grandad, a frenchman with enormous tits and questionable hair, my wife, and a bitch ass dog in order to kill the immortal british blonde bisexual vampire who's ruining everyones life. I don't really like this part or rather I get annoyed thinking about it because it could be good and it isn't but my friend loves it so I guess it's a matter of taste.

part 4 diamond is unbreakable (1999) : prior to the roadtrip joseph (aged sixty something) cheated on his wife with the coolest woman alive and her son is called josuke he's the sweetest boy alive he's my baby brother and I would die for him. there are slice of life hijinks in a weird little japanese town for half this part and a really really good narrative about a kinky serial killer for the second half. joseph adopts an invisible baby he found on the side of the road

part 5 golden wind/vento aureo if you wanna be italian about it (2001) : (my favourite) dios son moved to italy changed his name to giorno giovanna and joined the italian mafia along with the only fictional character I have ever felt genuine desire towards and some other characters I adore. they kick a lot of ass and giorno age 15 becomes the boss of the mafia. it's good I swear

part 6 stone ocean (2011) : (prob my 3rd fav) jotaros daughter jolyne is arrested for a murder she's framed for. she has lesbian hijinks in jail and a priest with an unhealthy obsession with dio the blonde bisexual british vampire (he won't leave us alone) tries his best to kill her because her dad (who she kinda hates and has had nothing to do with in years) killed dio 20 years ago. they escape jail and said priest resets the entire universe. jolyne is one of my favourite characters EVER

part 7 steel ball run (1890) : (my other favourite) johnny joestar an ex jockey meets a random italian man and joins a pan continent horse race from san diego to new york in hopes of regaining his ability to walk. on the way he encounters dios reincarnation (still blonde bisexual and british but a dinosaur now. occasionally) and the corpse of Jesus Christ and kills the president.

[mariacallous]

After returning to Azerbaijan for the first time in many years, photographer Tim Korostashevsky embarked on a new project, shooting portraits of LGBTQ+ people. Among the subjects he photographed are outspoken activists trying to move the needle on queer rights. The strength of their voices took Tim by surprise, partly because the authorities in Russia, his home country, have been crushing LGBTQ+ rights and advocacy for years. The crackdown reached a peak in 2022–2023, when they banned “gay propaganda,” gender transitions, and the so-called “international LGBT movement” (an organization that doesn’t exist). Azerbaijan, meanwhile, has no such restrictions on paper but has the worst queer rights ranking in Europe nonetheless. To untangle this apparent contradiction, journalist Arzu Geybulla reports for The Beet on the myriad of challenges facing LGBTQ+ people in Azerbaijan today.

This story first appeared in The Beet, a weekly email dispatch from Meduza covering Central and Eastern Europe, the Caucasus, and Central Asia. Sign up here to get the next issue delivered directly to your inbox.

In February 2022, 24-year-old queer rights activist and journalist Avaz Hafizli was brutally murdered by his cousin. Avaz was not the first or the last LGBTQ+ person whose life ended abruptly as a result of ingrained prejudices and widespread homophobia in Azerbaijan. Nevertheless, there was little public outcry. Only LGBTQ+ and feminist activists demanded justice; the silence among mainstream opposition activists was deafening. 

Since then, the pervasive violence against LGBTQ+ people in Azerbaijan has continued unabated. But this reality is often invisible, especially to many international guests, for whom life seems comfortable in the glitzy capital Baku — perhaps even better than in their home countries.

This was certainly the case for photographer Tim Korostashevsky, who arrived in Azerbaijan from Russia shortly after Avaz’s murder. Tim had spent his summer breaks in Azerbaijan as a child because of family ties but hadn’t visited since 2011. He began traveling around the country, photographing events and documenting everyday life in Azerbaijan. 

Meanwhile, back in Russia, life was getting harder for LGBTQ+ people. The Russian authorities were shutting down public spaces and rights organizations, arrests were abundant, and anti-LGBTQ+ propaganda was becoming more widespread. When Russia banned legal and surgical gender transitions in July 2023, Tim thought it was “a tragedy” for transgender people. 

Tim decided he wanted to try to capture the lives of LGBTQ+ people in Azerbaijan. After all, this was a majority Muslim country, and yet, there were no restrictive laws; some queer people even appeared to live freely, and the activist community seemed strong. 

This is how Tim met Azerbaijani LGBTQ+ activist Ali Malikov and the other subjects he would go on to photograph during his time in Baku. 

[transboysokka]

hey i just need to make this post so i can link to it as like an about me/faq

just so i can have some info about me that's not like all up in your face bc who cares honestly but also so that dummies can read about who i am before sending "dont post about autism if youre not autistic!!" messages, u feel?

not that i get them a lot but i would def get them a lot LESS if there was a post like this to refer to

okay hi lets see

i am gay

actually im on the ace spectrum if u must know, thank u so much antidepressants ive taken since i was 7 years old...

i am trans (ftm)

speaking of trans i am legally male but am not able to change my name and have not yet transitioned medically in any way despite having socially transitioned almost a decade ago

ive known i was a boy my whole life because thats another question people asked i just got Very Good at repressing it

i am white!

yes i am a whitey who lives in taiwan, that is because i am an immigrant!

i have lived in east asia since 2018 and plan to be in taiwan forever

i AM... originally... from the US.... ughhhh fuckkkk i know righttttt

i do not identify as american lolololol

actually i dont identify with american culture in general because i wasnt there for covid and life kind of carried on as normal over here during covid so there's like this huge cultural divide between me and other americans now

i mean i dont identify as taiwanese either lol bc that would be... wild...

ok anyway

i am autistic

what else have i been diagnosed with lol astigmatism i guess

i have clinical depression and anxiety lol love that for me

i am colorblind

i have fibromyalgia and occasionally use a cane

i have a bunch of other learning disabilities and a bleeding disorder but jesus christ you dont need my whole life story

ive had ARFID my whole life and it gets dangerously bad sometimes and im also recently "recovered" from anorexia lets hope it stays that way

i was raised evangelical christian but now i have Trauma about it

im still spiritual and am somewhat involved in buddhism

i have trauma about family issues like a shitty dad and fucked up siblings and parentification, all that jazz

i am fluent in english and spanish but my mandarin is actually not that good (like enough to get around obviously but i cant read and write like at all)

oh im a teacher and im trying to finish my masters #privilege

idk what else is interesting

i travel a lot ive been to 15 countries

i grew up between the US and guatemala, i lived for a bit in cuba as a student, and I lived a year in china before i came to Taiwan

ok bye have the day u deserve

[queermuslimarchives]

Hijra (ہیجڑا)

Hijra is a pejorative term, mostly used in South Asia for transgender woman, eunuch, transvestite, androgynous, non-binary & intersex individuals. They lives in well-organized households and communities, led by a guru. Hijra community have a distinct subculture, secret language, cults and traditions. Hijra individuals maintain non-binary & matrilineal kinship within their community. Not all south asian trans femme, non-binary, queer folks are part of Hijra subculture.

Traditionally, the hijra are known as individual of “separate gender” in South Asian society. Most hijras are born as male and very few are born as intersex. Most Hijras present themselves in feminine attire, while other may present themselves in masculine or androgynous attire. The hijra use feminine name & pronoun for themselves. While other may use masculine & gender-neutral name & pronoun. The hijra are officially recognized as ''Third gender'' in Bangladesh, Pakistan, India & Nepal.

The word “Hijra” came from the Arabic word Hijr. While others argue that the word came from the Farsi word Hīj. In Arabic, Hijra literally means migration, leaving own tribe/clan. In broadest definition it means spiritual transformation, transcending boundaries. Despite having a sacred meaning, the word hijra has become a slurr in most parts of South Asia.

In India, many transgender folks like to avoid hijra for themselves. Instead they prefer Kinnar/Kinner, Shiv-shakti, Aravani, Mangala-mukhi, Moonaam Lingam, Kothi, Thritiya Linga, Tirunangais, Thirunangai, Tirunaṅkai, Thirunambi, Khwaja sira, Trans man, Trans Woman, Non-binary, Brihannala, Shikandi, etc for themselves. In Pakistan, hijra term is mostly used in a derogatory manner. This is why, non-hijra transgender & hijra transgender folks preferred Khawaja sara/Khwajasira, Mukhannath, Mutajannas, Moorat for themselves.

History

The existence of hijras or eunuchs first documented in the royal harems of Delhi Sultanate.In the 7th century, Hijras became trusted servants in the Mughal courts. (Please note:The term eunuch in reference to hijras or transgender in southeast asia is now considered pejorative; however, historical research finds the terms eunuch and hijra used interchangeably).

In those days, Hijras or transgenders were allowed to travel freely between men’s quarter and women's quarter, administrate the royal harem, & take care of the harem's children. Different travelogues documented that Hijras were also “intimate servants” and “beloved” of kings, princes, queens & princesses. During the mughal era, Hijra community played important roles in royal court,in royal households,in diplomatic and military affairs.

During the colonialism:

Mass Persecution of hijras/gender variants & gays in Indian subcontinent started during the British colonialism. In early 1850s, British colonial authorities deployed various strategies to eradicate India's gender & sexual minorities, whom they saw as "a breach of public decency." Further Britishers viewed hijras as incapable of moral transformation & assimilation. Therefore, they were subjected to eliminatory policies. In 1860, hijras became subjected to anti-sodomy law Section 377 which allowed British authorities to prosecute hijras (for their existence).

In 1861, authorities of the North-Western Provinces (NWP) sought to enact a 'Special law' against hijras/gender variants. By 1870, no high-ranking British officials argued against the implementation of special legislation to address the 'hijra problem; thus solidifying a violent anti-hijra campaign all across the Indian subcontinent. Anti-hijra laws were enacted; whereas a law outlawing castration, a central part of the hijra community (although not required for community membership), crossdressing, community gathering, ritual practices. The hijra were included in the Criminal Tribes Act of 1871 and labelled a "criminal tribe", now subjected to compulsory registration,strict monitoring, and stigmatization. Because of economic costs, which were the main impetus behind British colonialism, Hijras and other so-called "criminal tribes" were unable to be collectively sequestered from colonial society. This act forced the hijra community to go underground. British authorities considered “eunuchs” responsible for sodomy, kidnapping, and castrating male children (Hinchy 2019). Although the Criminal Tribe Act was rescinded in 1952, a collective memory still paints hijras as historical gender deviants with a criminalized sexual variance. After independence, hijras survived these barbaric colonial extermination attempts.However, the centuries-old stigma & shame continues as transphobic legacy in Southeast Asia.

Culture & Lifestyle

Transgender, MTF transvestite, effeminate/kothi, non-binary, and intersex individuals who live in Hijra community must undergo an initiation rite. Through this initiation rite, one can be a part of hijra community. Many hijras practice castration & emasculation, for attaining a high level of spirituality & sacredness. Not all hijras do castration.

The hijra gharanas are symbolic units of lineage, called a house, guiding the overall schematic outlining of the social organization of the hijra community in Indian Subcontinent. Hijras community follow a guru-chela kinship system, in which guru leads her chelas, provide them money, foods,shelter & other resources. This kinship originally developed on the basis of sufi discipleship of Pir-Mureed. In hijra community guru called their chelas daughters or son & chelas called their guru mother. Guru's guru are called nani guru (sometimes grandma). Nani gurus has the highest rank within hijra community.

They usually earn their money by collecting donations, ritual blessings (badhai), begging in streets, singing & dancing in social occasions, sex work. Collecting donations or alms, ritual blessing, sex work are common sources for their income. But now they are quitting such professions & doing various works for living.

[waitmyturtles]

A few more thoughts on Moonlight Chicken episode 6 that I didn’t fit into yesterday’s meta -- there is so much to process, and my kids were losing their damn minds when I was writing last night (when you say the words “pizza for dinner” around little kids, it’s like this emotional earthquake, good LORD lol).

ANYWAY (ha), I’m numbering from yesterday’s post:

7) I’m only following the rules and responding to the tags of my big-brained homeslice @respectthepetty to say the following:

Pattaya being a home for some and an escape for others. So, I want to get personal for a sec. Whenever I go back to SE Asia to see fam and travel around -- there is always such a strong desire from my fam for me to stay longer. They’re like, “a month isn’t even long enough to really get to know here, you have to stay for six months.” 

And I’m like, oh my god, I wish, but also -- back even before I had kids, it just felt inherently like an impossibility. Like -- how can I explain it -- when I was younger, it felt unreal to think that I could live my whole life in a place other than the States. I wasn’t conditioned in my mind during those times I visited as a child and as a single woman to consider living there. SE Asia to me, as a child and as an adult, felt like an other place, certainly another home where I had family, but not my home, where I lived my life as how I thought about and defined it, as the one place of my life where I could understand and track my growth as a human. (I know that MANY PEOPLE are not like this and can move at a moment’s notice -- but I think my immediate family had conditioned me back then to always stay close to them.)

It makes me think: when does a place stop feeling like an escape and maybe start feeling like a home? Again, as I said yesterday, I was really moved by Wen’s saying to Jim, “Do you take this place to be your home?”

7a) And I didn’t spend enough time yesterday sitting with the conversation between Jim and Wen about love and the sense of home you get from love, which I want to sit with for a second before I tie this back to Pattaya and escape/home. 

We know now that Jim had/has MAJOR TRUST ISSUES, besides the guilt of letting Beam get on that ferry. And he totally smells the dramaahhh that kinda follows Wen around (like, it’s not all Wen’s fault, but like, guy’s got a drama scent trail). So Jim sees the drama and is like -- I’m just not sure about being able to cross the line with this guy.

But Wen’s showing up for Jim. He’s there-there. He’s making a delicious breakfast. He’s falling asleep on Jim’s lap. He’s feeding Jimbo. He goes to temple with Jim (which we know is something that Wen would otherwise pooh-pooh). He enables Jim to reach closure re: Beam. He goes with Jim to meet Khwan. He sits with Jim to process the Khwan meeting. And, finally, Jim is moved to hold Wen, to hold his hand, and to be with him on New Year’s. 

Wen’s showing up because....Wen is becoming Jim’s home.

7b) Now: does Jim = Pattaya? Wen moved to Pattaya to be away from Bangkok. Wen’s parents even called him a survivor for it. 

I take that to mean (oh, my aching heart): you were brave enough to leave your home and find a new home.

Wen even tells Jim/us, I came to Pattaya for the job opportunity. But what does it take to make a place a home? I think it takes -- not just the love that Wen talks about with Jim in the beginning of the episode. I think it takes some damn work to show up to the place that you love. This might be a stretch, but what I think is happening in this episode is two-fold: while Jim is beginning to make Wen his new home and his new love, I think Wen is also setting himself up to allow Pattaya to be HIS home. 

Wen’s been breaking under the guilt of the Marina project. But it’s Wen who’s also throwing himself into Pattaya -- showing up drunk to the khao man gai joint, going to temple with Jim, running outside, being a cute uncle for Li Ming. He himself is also ingratiating himself into Pattaya’s culture and allowing himself to get wrapped up in it. He is also doing the work of making Pattaya his home. All of this, as opposed to Beam, who escaped Pattaya to live his double life.

I think what’s happening here is an essential connection that I don’t want to separate or unwind. I think, to Wen, Pattaya means Jim and Jim means Pattaya. I think that’s really similar, likely, to the way Beam thought about Jim -- except that Beam didn’t attach PERMANENCE to HIS definition of home. And maybe Jim’s sniffing around and making sure the same paradigm doesn’t happen twice. 

But -- Wen’s not escaping on the weekends. Man’s showing up every chance he gets to show Jim his (Wen’s) love. And I think what happened on the beach with Jim and Wen in the end is that Jim saw what he needed to see from Wen and was convinced that Wen was a risk worth chancing his love on.

I’m so glad I got a chance to talk more about Jim and Wen, because I think they were the absolute center of this episode.

8) One more response to @respectthepetty‘s tags -- oh YES, my HEAVENS, that kid HAS TO BE BEAM’S, RIGHT? Khwan, gurl. Side-eyes. We need to know more!

9) Thanks to @colourme-feral for the expanded explanation of “typical Chinese families”! We vibin’. I ESPECIALLY appreciate the point about pairings being arranged between individuals of similar means/socioeconomic backgrounds. Besides Beam’s relationship with Jim being a queer one, there’s also the fact that Jim would have been prejudiced against (likely by Beam’s family) as a stall owner -- possibly something that Beam couldn’t have taken in his other life. (Beam, smdh.)

10) Thanks to @wen-kexing-apologist and @respectthepetty for the expanded conversation and analysis on Heart’s vocalization (fam, READ THIS BLOG THREAD, it’s incredible meta!). I 100% own that my interpretation of Heart’s vocalization came from the viewpoint of having watched Silent and internalizing Sou’s incredible discomfort with vocalization for the sake of others. I think @wen-kexing-apologist has EXCELLENT points about Li Ming just being so excited to hype his mans up. 

I was also seeing other commentary on the tag about viewers wanting Heart to speak more. I can’t find this post I’m looking for, but someone wrote that (I’m paraphrasing), “Heart doesn’t owe the hearing audience his voice. He doesn’t have to vocalize for our sake.” Besides having only watched Silent, and knowing that Aof researched these issues with the deaf community and caretakers, I trust that this show is handling this issue with delicacy -- and I appreciate @wen-kexing-apologist noting that Li Ming and Heart went right back to their signing after Li Ming’s excitement. Again, I’m looking forward to seeing how it all plays out -- I wonder if Aof will have time to revisit this. (I’m going to take a WILD STAB and bet that it does come back, in some way, regarding Heart’s family and being able to communicate with them. If that shitty mom asks Heart to speak for her, oooooooo, I will be gritting my TEEF.)

11) Another point about Heart -- no pun intended, a heartbreaking one.

Like I said in my first post about episode 6, I was ready for Heart’s mom to separate Li Ming from Heart. I was ready to write a post about how Asians “save face,” and that my immediate prediction would be that Heart’s mom would separate the boys because “she knew best for her son” or some bullshit like that.

I really, inherently, expected that to happen, instead of her consenting to Li Ming to be Heart’s friend. Why?

I don’t want to overgeneralize here, but the following phenomenon is something that I’ve seen more than I like in Indian families (as I myself am Indian). I’ve seen kids become shut-ins. It’s not quite like the hikikomoris of Japan, where it seems like an extreme version of agoraphobia is prevalent.

How do I explain it. It’s a phenomenon that’s like, if your parents don’t believe in you, or are ashamed of you, or detect that something is “off” with you -- it’s OKAY to leave you in your room. It’s okay for you to hide upstairs. I wonder if parents are thinking, we’d rather you be in your room, where we know where you are, then present you to the world, and have to EXPLAIN what YOUR DEAL is. AND, as parents, we’d likely have to face JUDGEMENT for who you are (or in the case of Heart, who you’ve become). 

This phenomenon is present in the families of some of my friends. And when I talk about it with OTHER Indians, all of us Indians nod our heads and are like -- oh yeah, we’ve seen this before.

In other words.... if Li Ming hadn’t shown up -- Heart would have still been in his room. 

For how long? Forever?

And that would have been perfectly fine by Heart’s parents.

12) One last point, and then (I think), I’m done for the meta with this episode. And actually, this point is not even about this episode, but I think it’s just set up to be a kind of definitive characteristic for both Jim and Wen.

When Jim and Wen were feeding Jimbo in this episode, I remembered that Wen knew Jimbo’s name before Wen learned Jim’s name. And, a couple of days ago, I reblogged @soukana’s excellent point that Wen had been with Alan for five years, and Wen’s dad didn’t know Alan’s name. 

Couple that with what we know about Li Ming’s name, and we know there’s meta in the names (I SWEAR there was a post listing the meanings of everyone’s name, and I can’t believe I didn’t add it to my Big Themes list. I don’t think I’m going crazy, but I can’t find it, tears emoji!) (UPDATE: Thanks to @slayerkitty and @sliceduplife, the names translation list can be found here!) 

But what I love about this juxtaposition is: it’s definitive of how both Jim AND Wen see intimacy. They both behaved similarly by keeping back key details about their intimate selves, either to each other or to their close relatives, maybe so as to protect themselves.

And in episode 6, we see those walls coming down. Maybe not necessarily happily (like in the hospital) -- but on the beach, one moment of peace for these two that, I think, belong together.

[virginpornstar]

Gay Friendships Die At 30

Once my gay best friends turn 30 the friendship is over. Doesn't matter if we've been friends for 5 years or 15+ years. Gays want to start acting different and doing immature shit we weren't even doing in our 20s. I'd rather be former friends than fake friends. So once the fake shady immature bullshit starts, I gotta exit. Well make them exit my life.

The reason this friendship ended is so stupid, and I knew it was stupid from the beginning, but I can't repair things with someone on a mission to want to destroy them.

So my BFF (well former BFF now) and I were planning to meetup in LA. I was going to already be in California anyway or a work trip, and I wanted to go to LA anyway. I had a bad experience in LA last year, and I wanted a do-over. Plus I really wanted a picture with the Hollywood sign since I didn't get one last year.

My BFF was going to be in LA because he was flying to Asia with friends for his bday trip. Which I chose not to go on since I've never really had any interest in going to Asia. Plus the trip was originally supposed to be to Europe, but he randomly changed it. I was excited to go to Europe with him, since we had originally planned to go in 2020, but Covid happened. Plus I ended up going to Europe with another friend earlier this year, and had an amazing time.

Granted I never told him I was going to Europe until after I landed there. Which was shady and passive aggressive on my part. There's been a lot of shady and passive aggressive things over the recent years, which I'm sure slowly contributed to the demise of the friendship. It's like on Insecure when Molly and Issa fell out. It didn't just suddenly happen, but a gradual buildup. I'm definitely Molly and he's Issa.

Since we were both going to be in Cali at the same time, it made sense to be there together. Even though he basically told me I was inconveniencing him with hotel costs since he was planning to spend his first night there with some random guy he was talking to there, and then then the next night with his friends that were coming.

Granted...I don't even share hotel rooms with friends when I travel. The last friend I ever shared a hotel room with was him last year. When I travel with my other friends we get our own rooms. I prefer to have my own space. My job has me spoiled with my own hotel rooms, and when I travel I just prefer to have my own room. Plus I'm a slut. I love to be able to have a guy over whenever I feel like it.

Both of us were financialy strapped, and had put off booking a room as long as possible. I had sent him a suggestion the day before I left, but he said not to book it now. He was going to look the next day. Well I was already in Cali the next day, and was starting to get anxious about not having my next hotel booked since I had to be out of my work hotel Monday.

After I woke up from my nap, I saw he'd texted me that he booked a room at a hotel by the airport. I was immediately annoyed, because I don't stay by the airport. Usually airports are so far from everything, and everything I wanted to do in LA was in the Hollywood/West Hollywood/Beverly Hills area.

Granted LA is so big, that the airport isn't even that far or inconvenient, since everything is far an inconvenient in LA. I was looking at a hotel in Koreatown, since the places I'd originally wanted in WeHo/Beverly Hills were too expensive/taken now.

So I was like whatever. I wanted to book my own room anyway since I wanted the Hotels.com/HIlton points that I'm trying to upgrade my status before the year is up. Plus when he said he booked a room already the message said "if you're interested". I interpreted that as I have the option to still book my own room.

I tried to call him for clarity, but we were on different times. So I just booked a room at the same hotel for 2 beds to be safe.

Then when he woke up he told me he'd gotten that room for his friends, and he could get us a different room at the same hotel for the same price. I told him I already booked us a room.

Then he asked the price. It was nearly $400 for 2 nights, but the double bed room was more expensive than had I just reserved a single bed room.

Then he got pissed at me because I had already booked the room and it was more expensive than whatever random site he was using. I didn't want to use the site he was using, because I'm already loyal to Hotels.com, and also it's sketchy. It like shows you pictures of a room based on how much you're willing to spend, and you pick the one that looks best, and then it tells you the details of the hotel afterwards. WTF.

Also I wanted the room in my name since I'm already in Cali and would most likely be at the hotel before him anyway. I want to be able to just get there and check in, and not have to wait for someone else to get in my room. So that's easier if it's just in my name anyway.

Then he was pissed because he didn't want to pay more to stay at the same hotel where he could get a cheaper rate, and I wasn't willing to cancel because I already booked/paid for it, and I wanted my points to upgrade my status before the year is up.

Then he got booked that I booked something else when he booked something, but he'd already told me he just booked that for his friends earlier. Then I explain that I wanted to book something ASAP since I'm already in Cali and prices are going up each day we don't have something booked. Plus he booked something at a hotel without even asking me first. I was going along to get along, by just going for the same hotel, since there were cheaper hotels in other parts of LA.

Then he said I was "acting like a bitch, but what else would he expect" for saying the "if you're interested" leaves the door open for me to book my own room. Which is my preference. Then he says "girl fuck you" to me after I say I'm not being a bitch since I went with whatever hotel he picked to book a room.

I said "if I was acting like a bitch than I would've booked the cheaper room with one bed" but instead I paid extra to make sure there were 2 beds for both of us.

Then the next morning he texts me with a fake ass apology saying he was half asleep, and was mad because he thought I'd booked a room at a different hotel in another part of LA.

WTF. You clearly complained about the price of the room I booked at the same hotel you already booked a room.

He apologized for calling me a bitch, and then quoted neNe "well I said acting like a bitch".

I sent him a meme of Molly from Insecure looking annoyed. He then doubled down on being half asleep and claimed he reread the messages. Hence his apology.

WTF. You were mad about the price. It was very explicitly clear that I had booked a room at the same hotel, and also calling me a bitch and saying "fuck you" to me was a ridiculous response for this trivial situation.

So I was annoyed his apology didn't even match what was said. Like don't say you misinterpreted what I said, when you very clearly were upset about having to spend more money at the same hotel. I don't like bullshit apologies. Honestly I don't like apologies in general. I'm a Scorpio. I'm not going to forgive you regardless, so I'd rather you just not fuck up in the first place.

So then I say that he wasn't arguing about me booking at a differnt hotel, and he was mad about me booking a more expensive price at the same hotel. Granted I don't even know if he made sure to make sure he was booking rooms with multiple beds, or just going for the cheapest price, which would've been a room with one bed. I only think he apologized because of realizing he may not have booked a room with 2 beds, and had just gone for the cheaper price.

I didn't even want to keep this argument going. But I also wasn't accepting an apology that wasn't real. Like apologize for what happened, not make up some bullshit when the texts clearly say otherwise. He kept trying to say he was sleepy and thought I booked somewhere else on the other side of LA, when the words he texted me never mentioned any of that. No one is about to gaslight me into some bullshit.

Also don't tell me you "reread" the messages, yet what your saying was never mentioned in any of the messages. So I wasn't backing down, and he kept defending his lie. then he had the audacity to say all he's apologizing for is ccalling me a bitch, and then said if I think he's such a liar than we don't even gotta link".

That was the dealbreaker for me. We didn't talk for 2 weeks after that. That is some bullshit I don't play with. Like you're my best friend of 5 years, we haven't seen each other in 5 months, and we've talked about going to LA together for years. So you're going to just essentially abandon me in LA by myself, since he had his other friends he was traveling with coming, because he refuses to apologize for the bullshit he caused and the fucked up things he said to me.

I'm an only child, so I don't mind being on my own. I actually do better that way. Thankfully I had an amazing time in LA. Both nights I met local guys that showed me a great time. I had more fun in these 2 days in LA, than I had last year when I was in LA for 2 weeks.

I did everything I wanted to do in LA. I got the pics I wanted, and when sight seeing to see the places I'd not gotten to see. I went on dates, got dick, went bar hopping in WeHo, and even went to the dispensary. I had an incredible time in LA. Regardless of my BFF abandoning me.

But I still find it incredibly fucked up that he'd even be that childish to rather we both be in the same city at the same hotel but not speaking, because he refused to apologize for what he actually said to me.

Also that's such bum nigga shit to cause an argument to get out of paying for room. Granted I already paid for it, and got my wish of my own room with one bed, so I didn't care. But this is exactly why most gay friendships end due to trips. The broke friend causes all the problems, and then the friendship is over.

But I also am pissed because i knew this was a dumb argument from the beginning. I knew that. I was willing to move on, but I also wanted the apology to be genuine and not some made up bullshit. Even re-reading the texts now this whole thing is so stupid. Yet I'm not letting someone talk to me crazy, and then refuse to apologize for acting ridiculous.

He's an egotistical Leo, and I feel like after he moved to Florida and got his own friend group. he feels like he's Regina George now. In our friendship he was always the Nicole to my Paris. Guys have literally called him my "ugly friend" to his face. Now I never viewed him as my ugly friend. He has no problem getting niggas, but I was always the more social media famous of the 2 of us.

I feel like he's even more big headed thinking he's queen b now because he's "in charge of the girls" of his friendgroup. That ain't me, never been me, and I'm not afraid to be all by myself. I don't even do friend groups, because I am a selfish bitch and don't give a fuck when people hate me. I can't fake anything to get along with a group.

Which is why I fell out with my ex BFF of 16 years. His new friends didn't like me so he chose them over me. Once he had a huge 30th bday, and invited all of his friends from all over the country, but didn't invite or tell me about the party, when I had just taken him out to lunch for his bday the week before, then I was done. We're clearly not friends if you're not inviting me to your big milestone events you planned celebrating yourself, and then not even having the respect to tell me. I had to find out on social media. WTF. That's so childish, and high school. We're in our 30s. We weren't even doing fake shit like that in high school or our 20s. Yeah...I just saw the best option was to end the friendship.

Now with this. I didn't want to end the friendship. After 2 weeks of not talking I sent him the mughshot I found of Zimbabwe. He's the only person that I could talk to about Zimbabwe that would understand. I'd already given up on expecting my BFF to take accountability or genuinely apologize for what he really said. I was just ready to sweep it under the rug and move on. We'd already not spoken in 2 weeks, and we'd both been on multiple trips. We'd missed out on so much of each other's lives already, and LA has passed.

But he refused to move on. He said he's not ready to talk to me until we revisit our previous argument. WTF. It's been 2 full weeks...I don't even care anymore.

Then I say "I'm not sure what's left to revisit. You started unnecessary drama, refused to apologize for what you actually said, and then didn't want t hangout with each other in LA and we didn't...

Then he says "yeah I'm cool on you. So I was petty and responded with "k" and then blocked him everywhere.

I'm over it. LIke I'm not waiting for a 30 year old man to decide when he's ready to be my friend again, when this drama was caused by him.

I was rude and inconsiderate. I knew his financial limitations, and didn't care because I wanted to book my own room for my own benefits.

Still I don't think that warranted being called a "bitch" or having him say "fuck you" to me, on top of saying he didn't even want to see each other while in LA. That's the part that really pissed me off, because I would've never said that to my best friend. Like petty drama over money isn't going to make me want to not see you while we're in the same fucking city and haven't seen each other in 5 months. Then being in the same hotel at the same time, and not speaking. Like we both still had each other's locations and were in the same fucking hotel at the same time.

It's so stupid and petty, and we both decided to escalate the drama instead of neutralizing it. Well I feel like I tried to neutralize it. I said early on that I don't want to dwell on this drama, but I'd rather if he's going to apologize to apologize for what he actually said.

I hate liars more than anything. You're not going to lie and say you're mad over a reason which literally had nothing to do with anything you said the night before. Read the fucking texts. The whole convo was in text. Right there. You're clearly mad because you didn't want to pay more when you could pay less. Don't make up some bullshit saying you thought I booked somewhere else, and then keep doubling down on the lie.

He is being a Lying Leo. That's a fact. He's clearly lying. It's there in print. That gaslighting me bullshit is what really set me off. Like all you had to do was apologize for the truth, instead of continuing to perpetuate a lie. Then this could've all been avoided.

Then we're not getting that time in LA back. it's not like we can just go fly across the country again next week. Like to miss out on that time together that we aren't going to get back, over this dumb shit also really pisses me off. Like I would've never said I don't want to see you while in LA. Especially not over this dumb shit.

Then the fact that weeks have gone by, and I'm sending you messages and want to move on and talk like normal, and he's continuing to want to stay in this negative space and keep having the same damn argument.

Like you're still not telling the truth or taking accountability. Then on top of that LA is gone. We didn't see or speak to each other, despite being in the same hotel in the same city. There's no point still arguing over a trip that not only passed, but we both had other trips since then. Like it's the past.

All I wanted was to have my best friend back to gossip about more dead gays in Atlanta, and to talk about my ex that's been in jail for months.

Instead he wants to keep having this same dumb argument, and i'm over it. Again. I refuse to wait for a 30 year old man to decide when he wants to be my friend again. Especially when he's mad about the drama he started.

I don't give a fuck how mad you are...don't disrespect me by calling me a "bitch" or saying "fuck you" to me, and then saying you don't even want to see me while we're in the same city. I have blocked many gays for flaking on plans with me.

I don't think the disrespect I received was warranted with this petty drama, and then the fact you'd be fine just leaving me alone in LA because you knew you had other friends coming was fucked up. On top of refusing to move the fuck on when weeks have passed.

Yeah. Friendship over. This is so immature and stupid, but gays don't mature with age. Yet another of my closest gay friendships has died.

I'm also probably less motivated to salvage the friendship because I've been fucking this guy he really likes behind his back for months.

I really am a terrible friend. That's always been my biggest fear with gay friendships was having my friend fuck my man behind my back. 2 of my exes tried to fuck my BFF to get back at me, and he valued our friendship enough to resist.

Yet I was weak. Maybe not weak because it involved not temptation, as much as giving into dark urges to self sabotage. 2023 has been my year of chaos. Choosing chaos any chance I get. Blowing everything in my life up, and then finding order amongst the pieces.

I have no choice but to take accountability for my own actions in the demise the closest friendship I've had for the past 5 years. I'm still devastated things ended this way, or that I made the choices I made. I really thought he'd be my best man at my wedding...if that ever happens.

Yet that's the Scorpio way. We can't keep a friend...

[rabbitcruiser]

Save The Rhino Day

Save the Rhino Day, celebrated globally on May 1, is a day centered around raising awareness of the rhino’s plight in the world, and highlighting ways to help this incredible animal. This day is especially important given the current devastating statistics — on average, one rhino is poached somewhere in the world every 22 hours. On this day, various animal rights organizations, non-profit companies, zoos, animal activists, and other concerned groups provide opportunities to encourage more rhino conservation efforts from people around the world.

History of Save The Rhino Day

To trace the origins of the Rhinoceros, we’d have to go back some millennia — almost 56 million years ago, to be precise. That’s when the first ancestors of the modern Rhinos roamed the planet. They were more horse-like in structure and had no horns. Old rhino bones found from this period in North America show a gradual evolution from this old horse-like structure into one more aligned with today’s rhino. Over these years, there were three distinct species that scientists think might be the ancestors of today’s rhinos. One of these was called the ‘running rhino,’ which was adapted for speed.

Another was more aquatic and resembled today’s hippopotamus. The last, most direct ancestors to the modern rhinoceros appeared approximately 25 million years ago and had multiple sub-species in their families. Of these, the wooly rhinoceros was one of the largest subspecies, weighing in at almost four times the size of the average African elephant, and boasting one-meter-long horns. This species inhabited a large area, from Siberia to the British Isles. These plant-eaters lived alongside the wooly mammoths, and have been found fossilized in ice and in cave paintings made during that period.

These rhinos only lived in Asia initially but began traveling to other places around 25 million years ago. Over time, these rhino ancestors roamed the continents, primarily living in Eurasia (Europe and Asia combined) and North America. However, the American rhinos went extinct sometime between 5.4 and 2.4 million years ago.

Rhinos have also featured in many Asian and African legends — they are the fire-stamping heroes in many stories from Burma, India, and Malaysia. According to these stories, rhinos appeared every time a fire was lit in the forest and would stamp out the flames. So popular is this tale that it even featured in a popular 1980 South-African movie named “The Gods Must Be Crazy.”

Unfortunately, these once-abundant creatures have lost out to human activity. Hunting, and now, poaching and habitat loss, have drastically reduced the number of rhinos across the world. Rhino horns are also integral to traditional medicine in many parts of Asia, with people believing it has mystical powers. Since 2007, there has been a sharp increase in poaching activity and illegal trade of rhino horns, to the extent that many subspecies of rhinos have been declared extinct and the entire rhino population is listed as ‘endangered’.

Save The Rhino Day timeline

1973

A Symbol of Queer Identity

Two Boston artists, Daniel Thaxton and Bernie Toale create a lavender rhinoceros as a symbol to increase awareness of gays and lesbians and put it in a series of subway posters.

2011

No More Black Rhinos

The Western Black Rhino — which used to live in Cameroon, Chad, the Central African Republic, Sudan, and South Sudan — is declared extinct because of excessive poaching.

2012

A Ray of Hope

For the very first time, a Sumatran rhino — the smallest of the rhino family — is born in captivity in the Sumatran Rhino Sanctuary in Indonesia; this miracle repeats in 2016, and then in 2022.

2018

A Sad Farewell

The world bids goodbye to the last known male northern white rhino; only two females survive to this day.

Save The Rhino Day FAQs

What day is World Rhino Day?

On September 22 each year, the global community celebrates the rhinoceros and explains what people can do to help them.

How many rhino species are there?

At present, there are five species of rhinos in the world — the white rhino and the black rhino (both found in Africa), and the Indian, Javan, and Sumatran (all found in Asia).

Are rhinos endangered?

The black, Javan, and Sumatran rhinos are still listed as ‘critically endangered,’ while the entire species is classified as ‘endangered.’

How to Observe Save The Rhino Day

Learn about the rhinoceros: Uncover more interesting information about this magnificent animal. Watch documentaries featuring the rhino, read books and other literature about them, and discover more studies and research that show just how the rhino lives.

Visit a rhino: Why not go see a rhinoceros in real life? Check out rhinos at a local zoo or plan a trip to visit rhinos in the wild.

Help save the rhino: Research the efforts various groups make towards saving the rhino, and check out what you can do to help. These could include online volunteering services, donations of funds, and more.

5 Fun Facts About The Rhinoceros

The rhino communication method: Rhinos make funny sounds — like snorting, sneeze-like sounds, and even honking — and use their bodily waste to 'speak' to other rhinos.

They don't have 20-20 vision: Rhino eyesight is notoriously poor, so much so that if an animal only 100 feet away — in an open space, too — stood motionless, the rhino wouldn't be able to spot them.

How the white rhino got its name: This rhino isn't actually white — English explorers mistook the Afrikaans 'wyd,' which refers to the huge girth of this animal, as 'white' and the name stuck.

Their horns are like our nails: Rhino horns are made up almost entirely of keratin, which is also the protein found in human hair and nails.

And still, people steal their horns: Even as rhino horns are proven to have no health benefits, signs in museums — like the National Museum of Scotland — notify visitors that the horn on display is a replica, as the real one has been stolen.

Why Save The Rhino Day is Important

It helps increase awareness: Rhinos are becoming increasingly rare in the wild, and only continuous efforts to raise awareness, like celebrating Save The Rhino Day, can help this endangered species. Do your bit today to support rhinos.

Creating safe havens for rhinos: The spike in awareness such days provide also subsequently raises the amount of help being offered to save the rhinos. These increased efforts could help secure various safe and protected spaces for the rhino to survive and thrive.

Building a rhino-loving community: Conservation efforts have had a significant impact in the past — various subspecies of rhinos have seen their numbers gradually increase over the years as a result of these activities. After these celebrations, we are left with a passionate and motivated global community that wants to see the rhinoceros flourish in the decades to come.

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