#gay trains

[steam-beasts]

2 x 3 x 4 but they're cat-sized and are basically three gay old cats that belong to the Hatt family

Don't separate them.

Btw, they're wearing little jumpers.

[likeateacup]

Just posted this over on twitter but happy pride from me and the LGBT trains!

[shelli-gator]

Hold Me Fast ~ A 2 x 5 fic

There's another titter, and it seems Edward is otherwise amused, his own cheeks darkening as he sends a teasingly quirked brow the mogul’s way, “Does that surprise you, James? Truly?”

“No!” He blurts far too quickly, like he might be able to preserve some dignity, but it comes out louder and more abashed than he’d like. Because he knows deep down that it really doesn’t surprise him at all. And Edward’s laugh is light and sunny, his eyes softening all over again, “No… Because you’re… well you’re kind! And… and good. And I–”

“Mmmhmm,” Edward hums in that knowing way of his, his smile twitching at the corners, and James swallows, feeling smaller than he is. But it’s different. It’s not humiliating, like when he’s having whatever lesson he has to learn rubbed in his face, or when he’s so terribly sorry for the hurt he’s caused. It’s different, like a lot of things are with Edward.

And that’s just it, isn’t it?

-------------------------------------------------------

Wrote this because I couldn't get over how thematically delicious the ropes are in Old Iron, how opposites attract, and how Edward has always been there for James since day one, since he was sick, since he was a runaway, and they've been bound together ever since. With that long, slow-burning kind of love that they don't ever put a name to, but they know it's there, whether they recognize and understand it or not.

[popculturebuffet]

Thomas the Tank Engine Retrospective: Series 5: Alec Baldwin Your Worthless (Comission for Lachey V)

Hello all you very useful engines and welcome back to my long retrospective look at Thomas the Tank Engine's golden age. It's hard to belive we're almost at the end. At least of this stretch. After this we only have one more part of this retrospective guaranteed.

The rest is up in the air: Lachey is considering seasons 6 and 7 and i'm considering the rest of the movies, the two more recent series.. seeing where the franchise has been as of late. But whatever wind blows I doubt I'll ever be free of the railway series and i'm okay with that. It can get boring at times binging 25 episodes of a childrens show, and belivie me it does, but the weird highs, production values, and endless material make up for it.

So for series 5 the good Rev Awdry had passed. It was a sad day: While I joke about his weird hatred of Henry being happy.. because it's fun, the guy did have a creative spirit and most of the eps up to this point came from his imagination. We woudln't have Thomas without him.

So with that this is the first season to simply go for all orginal stories. Some were based on real stories by David Maidment, who worked with the railway children charity and had shared some stories while asking the show to donate. They brought him on as a railway consultant, their last one for over a decade. Guess the others wanted to brick Henry back up or something.

Series 5.. is one of the best of the series and probably my faviorite. I've said that before but while it has plenty of the bollocks I love from this fine franchise, the stories are generally really well done and creative children's tales: While their kept acurate to a railway, these tales have more fun with character and it's a bit easier to keep track of who everyone is personality wise compared to previous seasons. It mixes "trains get punished for their hubris stories" with some more adventurous stories: we get a hunt for a lost castle, stepny nearly getting smelted, Percy getting stuck as a runaway, Henry plunging into the sea, and as a finale, a giant sapient bolder trying to murder our heroes

It gives the series something it needed more of: variety. While stupid train children getting punished for their hubris will never leave this franchise on penalty of death, it's nice to break from that and these types of stories play better to an older audience, which while good for the grown ass man who has to watch all these is also good for kids as they might stick with thomas longer if the stories keep their intrest. The messages it teaches are still valid, you just gotta throw a little razzle dazzle in there once in a while. It's why Owl House wrapped a fairly important message about religoius dogma and societal othering around magic, shipping and an owl tube.

This season also shifts things as this is the last time Micheal Angelis did his voice... and the first of two times someone else did in the use. Ladies, gentleman, they's, thems, and that beautiful rainbow in between I submit the glory that is Alec Baldwin narrating Thomas the Tank Engine.

WIth George Carlin retiring the US needed a new voice. Unlike Carlin who largely stuck to the style Ringo Starr and Michael Angelis used, with the voices being kind of samey, Alec Baldwin tried to give each character a unique voice. The idea.. is actually good. It's something the sreies needed and it makes the engines more distinct.

In practice though.. it's very clearly Alec, while a talented actor and terrible, TERRIBLE husband and father... has a pretty limited voice range. Some like Thomas or Toppam Hat, are fine. But then we get the bizzare ones and man oh man are they fun: Gordon and Henry sound like the dumbest cavemen he could imagine, which works for Gordon as he is the biggest idiot ever, but is weird for Henry who while proud never came off as an overly proud brick wall like his buddy. He's the one who gets put behind brick walls.

Then we have other ones like James who has a camp gay voice. There's .. no other way to describe it. Alec just used his sterotypical camp lispy gayman voice he kept in reserve because it was the late 90s, and it somehow works. We also get weird one offs , so many, from his ATTEMPT at doing a woman voice for Lady Hatt, to annie and clarabell being suddenly southren, to a cockney accent for Stepny. It's VERY obvious the show simply had too many voices for Alec's range and he pulled out every stupid acent, every inflectoin and every steroptype he had to make due.

I can however give him credit that.. at least he tried. He genuinely cared. He also had a sense of humor about the james thing

Granted the way they frame it is very... 2000's, but I can give him credit for acknowldging "yeah... yeahhhhh".

So with that let's settle in for a very Alec Baldwin Thomas the Tank Engine under the cut

1 . Cranky Bugs It's a new season and that means a new asshole to harass our stupid train children. In this case it's Cranky

Who i'm still not convinced isn't THIS Cranky in a lovematic grandpa situation. At any rate this Cranky/That Cranky is a crane whose also an asshole.. granted about 2/3 of the cast could be described as "(insert vechile) whose also an asshole". In his case he tries bossing the trains around, and Gordon and James don't help by agreeing with him, causing incidents. As is the natural order of things, god punishes Cranky for his hubris, with Thomas and Percy saving him. While he's still a racist crack ballon, he's no longer dominating.

2. Horrid Lorries

Cranky has learned absolutely nothing and taunts the trains about being replaced with Lorries. Which i'll give the us dub of thomas as I assumed, this being american they'd pull a 4kids and redub the british terms. But nope. Alec Baldwin uses all the british terms you'd expect, which felt weird at first, but I got used to and i'm happy they didn't try to half assedly take away one of the core parts of the show. Kids.. kids aren't dumb enough to need to think that every show takes place IN AMERICA.

Anyways some Lorries show up, are assholes, get smited for their hubris, and i've seen this sort of thing before. They vow vengance though so I can't wait for the sequel: The Lorries Strike Back.... annnnd looking at the wiki their only seen in this one episode.

3. A View for Gordon Gordon gets tangled in some stuff and plows through a wall. You can only imagine my joy. That said this is a solid one: gordon complains about the view at the new station.. and some shenanigans send him THROUGH a wall. And to the Fat Controller's credit he dosen't finish putting gordon through a fucking wall but instead just puts a nice window there. IT's also nice to have a story where Gordon isn't a complete tool just about 50 percent of one.

4. Lady Hatt's Birthday

This is both one of my faviorites for the season and the series in general. It's Sir Topham Hatt's birthday. Aka the Fat Controler Aka Jimmy the Reach. It's a simple fun romp as he tries to get to his wife's birthday party. Also he has a wife now. and kids. Human ones not just his stupid train children. It's just a bunch of fun slapstick as he falls in mud. I've seen this plot before but it's thomas the tank engine: it's introducing kids to this plot. it gets a pass. It's something diffrent from the usual hubris and the ending is sweet as she dosen't raise a fuss over him being so dirty. She just wants to get dirty. And on that horrifying mental image..

5. James and the Trouble With Trees James nearly gets murdered by a tree to be punished for his hubris. I honestly forgot that part of the plot. James also throws a fit about not getting to pull the special express. I will say I do like Thomas rescuing him, for once NOT rubbing the days lesson in his enemy's face. It shows he's a good guy.

6. Gordon and the Gremlin: Gordon is a dick, we get jokes about Gremlins but sadly no actual gremilns. We do meet Toppham Hatt's mother. Also if your curious I'm using his actual name more.. because the shows using it more. It used fat controller before but this season with more of his family appearing they've switched to just calling him Sir Toppham hat. I of course will alternate between their hilarious crass first name and the more respectiable second because i'm a smart and mature adult. And because it's funny.

7. Bye George!

George the racist Steamroller is back... I honestly forgot he existed. But he provides a fun one that I forgot was as fucked up as it was. So George is tearing up some railway and being a racist monster who wants to kill all trains and railways, is delighed. He tars up some to trip up thomas.. but then fucks up by blocking duck... which causes Gordon , who'd already been approved to pass to crash into the guy and murder a car. Shockingly not only was Gordon's first murder unintetional but he feels bad about it... granted it comes off like a large reason for it is he's worried about what his angry fat controlling god will do to him, but the Fat Controller knows it wasn't his fault and will tear the ass off whoever it is. So George is forced to work in lumber for a week, both a shockingly lenient sentence and a fitting one. He's gotten soft in his old age.. do characters here age?

8. Baa! A ram eat's the fat controller's hat. That's about all that's really intresting here. I do like the idea: a station decorating contest but execution wise it's just sorta there. Still a ram ate a man's hat which is more than I can say for other bog standard thomas episodes

9. Put Upon Percy Percy's trucks are assholes and nearly cause him to get killed in a mine collapse. And it's sentences like this that remind me WHY I do this series, pay aside. I also grew to like Percy this season as he grew out of being just "thomas 2" being more of a whiner, but in a relatable way.

10. Toby and the Flood

This one.. dear god. Okay so Toby is sent to inspect a dam. Simple enough.. but then it floods. Again simple enough... while Toby is on a rickiety bridge sending toby up river. This is another faviorite mostly because the sense of tension is real. I genuinley thought Toby could die, and given this series attitude toward death and not being bound by the books it easily could've happened. Granted Toby Toys are still being made I think, so he's thankfully invunerable as long as he has merch, but it's still a pretty harrowing episdoe and the effects work is top notch. how they pulled off an ep this ambitious I have no idea. Probably experince working with water from Tugs.

11. Haunted Henry This episode is dripping with atmosphere is Henry is hautned by a ggghost that turns out to be an old man instead who tried to warn Henry's crew who wouldn't listen. A nicely spooky episode, helped by me seeing it during spooky season. Spoo-ky!

12. Teething Troubles We get a new disel, another one whose entirley friendly. The twins are around and both sound like scratch from adventures of sonic the hedgehog for some reason. That's.. really all this episode has. We've seen a friendly disel before. WE've seen the twins being assholes before. The only thing we haven't seen is Alec Baldwin doing his best stratchy voiced robo chicken.

13. Stepney Gets Lost

Should be "Stepny almost dies". This is another one of those more adventurey stoires I mentioned, as on his way back from working at the quarry, Stepny gets lost and things esclate quickly as two disels, arry and bert, kidnap him, assuming him to be scrap and put him in the smelting shed, where h'es clawed. Stepny VERY NEARLY dies, the second near death in only 4 episodes, and it's incredibly tense. It's only thanks to the Fat Controller getting there just in time the poor guy life. I do like the FC in this one as he's nicer: he gave Stepny the assignment in the first place because he needed a change of scenery. I prefer this later characterization of a guy whose firm.. but also will do nice stuff for his stupid train children over the angry abusive god he was early on. He's still got SOME shady aspects, but he's mostly nice.. just like modern day god.

14. Toby's Discovery This is another personal faviorite and another classic, as Toby is taken by the Hatt's on an expedition to find an old castle someone found on a map. The concept itself is fun but the idea is also great. finding the castle is real easy, they just follow the line bu tthe visuals are beautiful and the castle itself looks fantastic. We also get a nice little ghost story as Toby hears rumors of a ghost.. but it's just Betram, a new engine.. or is he? My fan theory is that Betram, a narrow gage engine whose a fan of Toby's, is actually Smudger. While he has Smudger's face simply because he's a refit of duke with a diffrent face, it'd make sense: it wouldn't be the first time a train was replaced or the first time a train got refitted and Smudger WAS missing. It's better than the idea that the poor guy died rusting to death so i'm going with it. Smudger is reborn bitches!

15. Something in the Air

Henry takes some asshole pills and thus rushes into his assigment.. despite thomas trying to warn him some track had eroded, leading him into a lake. Once again, top notch water effects.

16. Thomas, Percy and Old Slow Coach Now we'r eback to some old fashioned messed up Thomas the Tank Engine logic as Thomas and Percy meet an old engine named , and I swear to train jesus this is true, Old Slow Coach.

Now if you thought the name was bad... your right but it gets worse: turns out she's due to be scrapped.. and they just HAVEN'T GOTTEN TO IT. And as we find out later she's in the fat controller's jursdiction. Look am I suprised the fat controller has done some train murders? yes. Do I think he has saw traps but for trains? also yes. Do I think he mentored John Kramer? Of course. But did I think he scrapped his trains. No I can't say I did.

So our heroes try to think of a way to save her. Luckily for once the angry train god that choo choos his way through this universe and decides to use his smiting powers for good.. I mean mostly. He does casually blow james up for no reason. Maybe Train Jesus was working out his homophobia still. At any rate another fire breaks out with some workman's quarters and Thomas and Percy suggest OSC replace them. Granted it's as TEMPORARY lodgings.. but given a disaster occurs on Sodor once every few episodes, crisis housing will always be needed. Horay!

17. Thomas and the Rumors The children's playground dies and since there isn't a kind old man rethinking his life as he dies from cancer to fight for it, the Fat Controller is using Harold to survey. The trains think he's replacing them, it gets in Thomas' head, their wrong as usual, Thomas learns not to gossip, next.

18. Oliver's Find: Oliver ends up down an old branch line and finds a house the Fat Controller decides to make into a rest spot. I forgot who oliver is between seasons. Next.

19. Happy Ever After This is a fun one. Not much to mock really: A bride is getting married on sodor and needs her bridal package, i.e. something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. So the fat controller uses his engines to fill in. IT's a really sweet, fun little episode. In the spirit of it, and since i'm not using an image for EVERY episode this time, i'm going to try do this challenge. okay something old

Cocaine with sunglasses, a gag I haven't used in some time Something borrowed

Somone Else's running gag. Something new?

My new oc, Fred the Murder Engine and for something blue

A wholesome marge simpson meme. Woo nailed it. next!

20. Sir Topham Hatt's Holiday

Hey hey hey it's fat controller's vacation. Lady Hatt complains about a suddenly southren annie and clarabelle but is fine after their cleaned. The real show is that FC has Harold take his family to his country place.. and it takes FOUR DAYS TO GET THERE. FOUR DAYS. Does.. does harold Need fuel? did he stop? did they ever stop? where on sodor is only accesible by plane 4 days away? The logistics here will forever haunt me, just like a bi plane haunts the hats. Solid enough episode.

21. Percy's Surprise Percy is burnt out working in the coal mines so naturally his trucks, who haven't fufilled their seasonly attempted murder quota, break one of his cables. What follows is a thrilling ep as percy nearly murders everyone and can't stop. IT's geninely tense with me worried for Percy's safetey and everyone elses as he barely survivies. top notch episode.

22. Make Someone Happy James wants to make people happy, takes Ms Kyndly to see her sister after her transport gets derailed.. not literally for achange. A genuinely sweet little tale. 23. Toad Goes Backwards Toad, the tram train is tired of going forwards. his trucks are dicks, as is their nature, and push him forward so he can't help but nearly run everyone over. like the percy one this is thrilling and I was genuinely worried toad would die. Again I know these trains won't die as long as they have merchandise but whose buying toad merch I ask you? Me. I will. Hook me up.

24. Duncan Gets Spooked

This one sure did happen. And Duncan sure did get scared. And I sure do not care. Next

25. Snow

Scarlowe gets caught up in snow, he really hates the snow. He just needs a song and I think I have just th eone for him.

Also holy shit it took me several decades, and at least a good one and a half since I became a fan of his via garfield to realize that was Lou motherfucking Rawls. This dude is awesome and to help convince you , here's the muppets

... as you can probably guess I don't have much for this one. It's fine and the snow looks fantastic. They've really stepped up their game this season and season 4 had also done it. It just gets prettier each season. Anyways now for our finale... and this one I can't stop thining about

26. Rusty and the Bolder

Okay this one.. is an all time classic and the first Thomas Finale that's felt like a season finale. While my playlist on youtube had snow last i'm going with the wiki. So a giant bolder is precariously perched on a mountain.. it also ocasoinally has an ominus HAUNTING stone face. It's genuinely unsettling.. and then it gets free and proceeds to slasher villian stalk EVERY SINGLE TRAIN IT CAN. No really it nearly runs into most of the lines trains. Thomas gave us a slasher film with a bolder hunting trains. A TRAIN MURDERNIG BOULDER. see this is what gets me up in the morning: while I love writing about really good stuff.. sometimes I just love bizzare nonsense and Thomas is a mixture of geninely good children's entertainment and morbid bizzare nonsense. I'll miss this show whenever i'm done I swear.

This was one of the most fun episodes i've watched and ends with Toppham hat isolating boulder.. but he will hunt again.. HE WILL HUNT AGAIN. HE WILL HU...

So that does it for this season. All in all one of the series best it's just some episodes I really don't have much to say and others are attempted boulder murder. It's a show I dearly love on some level by this point

Next Time: THE MOVIE. is it any good.. i'll see. Will it at least have alec baldwin? Can confirm. Thanks for reading.

[hemuchang]

safe spot

[sundowncryptid]

Happy pride month!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ Sorry about not posting for so long! Been dealing with just general health and mental health stuff, but I really didn’t want to miss doing my annual toothless pride posts so here it is :)

Might not be posting as frequently as I used to here but there’ll probably be some scattered art here and there when I feel like making some

The flags in order from top to bottom: Rainbow, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Trans, Non Binary, Asexual, Aromantic, Genderfluid

I’ve also added all of these to my redbubble as prints and such, you can find them in the toothless pride collection there :)

[sushiisiu]

What song is he serenading apollo with (wrong answers only)

[code-sprites]

Pride Shipping Containers - 05/2024

[kaionyx]

God I love puppies who have oral fixations with a voice kink, they’re just too easy sometimes and it’s so cute. They’ll walk around all day being a brat, giving attitude when we’re around friends or biting and pawing at me for attention i’m obviously busy.

But the moment I drop my voice a few octaves and tap their chin while saying “open” they’re on their knees, eyes glazed over and panting with their tongue out waiting to have their mouth filled like the dumb mutt they were trained to be.

[pinkfemgurl]

If you call me your toy one more time.... I swear once I'm untied and out of this cage it's over for you

[mommy-amelia-real-page]

Are you still thinking mommy Amelia is not real, then you are missing a lot babies and sissy, Message mommy now for your diaper changing and sessions right now babies and sissy? Message me now babies and sissy for your diapers changing, public outing and sessions am really fun to be with and also open to new things message mommy now, mommy is always available so we can have a nice time together 💞🥰🍼🧸😘💕😍

[steam-beasts]

Roses are red, violets are blue, no matter what we become, I'll still love you ❤ 💙

Note; tried using the anime filter for this! The non-filtered version is underneath!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...

(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)

[shelli-gator]

Been working on a 2 x 5 fic while I've been sick. Here's a little snippet since all has been quiet in the yard from my side.

[inkskinned]

love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.

love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.

love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.

love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.

maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.

recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.

[equill]

Sukea stuff

Extra: realization

It’s been a while

Panel 1: smile

Comic 2: Caught red handed

you’re his son

Extra: conversation

he just picking on him

Comic 3: You’re grounded.