#gay times honours 2023

[twelvegrimmyplace]

Nick Grimshaw on kindness, queerness and life lessons as a grown-up.

Gay Times Honours Issue 2023

Friendly media mogul Nick Grimshaw, aka Grimmy, has done it all. He’s introduced his parents to Lady Gaga and, recently, even had tea with Harry Styles. Now, however, the former Radio 1 DJ is getting acquainted with something else – growing up. 

Getting older, no doubt, is terrifying. Carefree late nights with mates at sticky, flooded gigs are suddenly swapped for questions revolving around major milestones: partners, career, and, of course, kids. Close friends are no longer egging you on to ditch work and hangout or checking in to see if you’ve actually drank water. Instead, you’re trying to squeeze in a meetup between deadlines, dates and an ever-growing to-do list of life admin. And Grimmy is no different. Booze-driven afterparties have morphed into nourishing Sunday roast dinners with Mesh, his fiancé. Girl dinner Quaver packets have matured to conversations – on his glitzy new foodie podcast Dish co-hosted by Michelin-star chef Angela Hartnett – with Miriam Margolyes on how she likes her mashed potatoes. 

Having the big four-zero on the radar prompted a new perspective for the presenter. What was once maligned (“I felt like growing older was the end of something or deeply depressing,” Grimshaw admits) has been, mostly, embraced. It’s less coming of age but, rather, coming to age. Still, new digits doesn’t need to mean the fun is over. In fact, just last night, Grimshaw partied late with celebs Jake Shears, Amanda Lepore, Jodie Harsh, and Mutya Buena in Soho. Here in Holborn, however, things are much more mild. Sure, there’s some tasteful framed nude art to our right and Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ crackling over studio speakers but nothing beats a good old-fashioned launch party, or a karaoke b-day bash taking place later this evening in central London. 

Nursing a non-alcoholic beer, Grimshaw scoots across a black leather couch, arriving fresh from a photoshoot, something he describes as his “Naomi Campbell moment”. Comfortably clothed in a light-wash denim shirt and distressed jeans, he kicks off the conversation as if reuniting with an old friend. “I've never taken stock before. I'd never sat down and thought about myself, ever, and I don't think people do,” he says. Since his early twenties, Grimshaw’s image has been inextricably tied to two things: big names and his infamous towering quiff haircut. At some point, he acknowledges, you will have heard his quick-fire Mancunian comedy soundtracking your early mornings. Whether he was making jokes with Taylor Swift or having the early hours crashed by Charli XCX, the presenter became a known face at the Beeb. In his autobiographical book, Soft Lad, Grimshaw reminisces on the pull the small screen had on him as a young child. Armed with a love for glamour and theatrics, the events he saw on the telly called to a younger Grimshaw who dreamed of moving out of Manchester to take on London. 

Onboarding, in 2012, at Radio 1 to cover The Breakfast Show was something the podcaster remembers clearly; “There was a lot of pressure”. His days of spinning songs and connecting with artists over music became more than a vocation, but a specialism. While he does admit, sheepishly, that there were days his hangover ran over into work hours, he’s since taken time to reassess his habits and lifestyle. “When I was 23 I was getting absolutely wasted and doing it like a Geordie Shore night out,” he says. Now, Grimshaw is more conscious of being selectively sober in certain environments. “It can be really hard to go out and connect with people who are drunk and you're not drinking. But, sometimes, you have the best nights ever. I went out last night and went to a really fun party up until 1.30 am and had really good chats with loads of people.” He’s taking stock of the bigger moments around him, particularly ones that bring him closer to friends and family – “It's about learning. It's about growth,” he says earnestly. 

At 39, Grimshaw’s longevity has something to do with his candour and bonhomie. The most common compliment doled out about the presenter is his warmth. As a child, he recalls, the label “soft lad” was stuck to him, presenting his sensitivity as something to be ashamed of. But, years later, it’s become something – like his favourite Maison Margiela knit sweaters – that he wears openly. “At school, I always felt on edge that I was going to get beaten up or laughed at. When you've had that, you learn empathy and you think about how people might feel or what they're going through,” he explains. 

Realisng he was gay, as a child, filled Grimshaw with dread as he feared what it would mean. With limited queer culture references growing up (just Elton John and Lily Savage) his feelings were fully realised, aged 11, when he developed a crush on a poster of England footballer David Beckham pinned up on his bedroom wall. “You know what’s funny, not that I’m doing Miriam Margolyes press, but I saw her yesterday. I'd never met her and I went into her dressing room. Before I could say hello, she pointed and exclaimed: ‘You’re gay!’ and continued with ‘So, my dear, nice to meet you.’ As I got into bed last night, I thought about how that would’ve killed me if I was a teenager, but it was a really lovely bonding moment.” 

Though being a presenter and DJ took up most of Grimshaw’s early adolescent years, his move to writing has allowed him the space to trawl through his past years without expectation. From reassessing his comfort with queerness to realising the strength found in the LGBTQIA+ community outside of his town in Greater Manchester, Grimshaw is grateful for the relationships he’s built with those around him. “I learn constantly from the queer community. It’s that notion of being yourself and leaning into yourself which can be hard to do if you're queer, especially if you've had that knocked out of you when you're a kid,” he says. “The community are essential in helping everyone, and me, support one another.”

Soft Lad and Dish capture different versions of Grimshaw; the quirky characteristics of a presenter that couldn’t surface in a music hotbed. In his new roles, the presenter-meets-podcaster chats to hot-shot talent while unravelling stories centred around food, famous friends and frenzied stories. His book is an homage to his parents (“I realised how important they were shaping me – I love them contractually, but also really love them) and to his English and Irish roots. Bookended between stories of queer curiosity and his loathing for football, tales of community and camaraderie at Radio 1 surface. “I loved it when we had a great guest from the queer community. I had great times with Sam Smith, they would be a riot and would really gossip with us when the records were on and tell us stories that we couldn't have on the radio. Troye Sivan was a great time as well,” he recalls. 

Another memorable moment was his run-in with an early-era Lady Gaga, in Notting Hill, before she became Mother Monster as we now know her. “I did my first interview with Gaga years ago, for the telly, and it was when she was brand new. ‘Just Dance’ had just come out in America and she was making a bra out of gaffer tape on a dressing room floor,” he says, laughing. “I brought mum and dad along because they were in town so they met her right at the beginning of her career. Ever since then, whenever she'd come onto the radio show, she���d ask about my mum and dad.”

Grimshaw’s stories of famous crossovers are, understandably, endless – even if they’re ones he’s told plenty of times before. Up until recently, he’s remained embroiled in an ecosystem of music promoting a “product” but, now, he feels like his new projects allow for authentic conversations about people and their interests. His mantra, nowadays, is this: “Living in the full, truest form of yourself, without fear and judgement.” For a young Grimshaw, this unbridled queer joy took the form of “glamorous” drag shows where he dressed up as Cher for his family. Today, it’s about cooking in a kitchen packed with too many guests (and remembering to drink water). Turning 40, at one point, felt like a frightening due date. Now it’s a milestone Grimshaw is ready to take on.

[jbaileyfansite]

Jonathan Bailey recieving the Changemaker Award by Gay Times [x]

[5-pp-man]

come on man.

[mondstalgia]

BL ships that I will never forget:

In a few weeks it's gonna be 14 years of obsessing over queer media, especially BL, so here are the ships always on my mind in no particular order.

Arata & Shingyouji (Takumi-kun Series 4: Pure, 2010): Listen the Takumi-kun Series from 2007 to like 2011 was my life as a (pre-)teen. In hindsight really sketchy but anyway haha. Those two really caught my eye back then though (especially their racy kisses) and I was happy they got their own bigger part in one of the movies.

Evan & Isak (Skam Season 3, 2016): Was there a queer European teen that wasn't obsessed with this season of Skam? I remember re-watching it so many times I could recite their text without speaking Norwegian. Plenty of beautiful Skam universe parallel couples out there but these two will remain the iconic blueprint.

ChenAi (Kiseki: Dear to me, 2023): Almost unfair to put them on here but seeing how I haven't been able to think about any other ship every single day for the last 3 months, I feel like it's justified. They just have everything I want and need to get hyperfixated on.

Seiryo & Yuzuru (Seven Days, 2015): Oh my, the way I loved this silly concept and how funny it was yet they managed to get me all emotionally involved in the span of two movies? Insane chemistry and just..everything I needed back then. Especially since it was then one of the very few BL's I saw without a sad ending.

KornKnock (Bad Romance 2016, Together With Me 2017 - 2018): Listen, plot wise Manner of Death is the absolute height to me but when it comes to MaxTul I will never forget them as Korn and Knock in these series. Forever grateful to all the fanvids that led me to finding my BL fathers. Chemistry forever out of this world. Also shout out to Yiwha, best female character in any BL and my wife.

WinTeam (Until We Meet Again 2019, Between Us 2023): The couple that made me aware of what second lead syndrome was because I waited so long for more of them, it felt eternal. I don't think I will ever get tired of these two.

VegasPete (KinnPorsche, 2022): Who said I couldn't like a toxic ship? These two took me by surprise, I didnt even know they were going to be a ship in the series. Definitely acknowledging how fucked up they are yet at the same time it's the forst toxic ship that really got me. I love them, in my own weird way.

HaoGu (HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, 2019): I mourned them like I have mourned no other couple. I should have known from the title but they really lead me astray. My beautiful boys, the star crossed lovers. They still get me emotional now, I might go cry now.

Hira & Kiyoi (Utsukushii Kare, 2021 - 2023): Before ChenAi there were Hira and Kiyoi who absolutely owned my heart. I love how misunderstood by BL fans they were who claimed their toxicity. Meanwhile I simply love how weird their relationship is and getting to see a real Tsundere in action. I'm obsessed with them.

Honourable Mention: Kim Jae Wook as Min Sun Woo in Antique Bakery, 2008. The very first gay character I saw in Korean media. Forever iconic, forever in my heart.

[margareth-lv]

Mi nombre es Liliana soy de Peru efectivamente estoy de acuerdo contigo soy fan de la serie desde el 2021 ,me enamore de esta pareja de Sam y Cait desde el primer día pude percibir está fuerte química q nunca había visto en otros actores protagonistas me he visto cada entrevista cada panel he tenido la paciencia de interpretar el lenguaje corporal de ellos y llegue a una conclusión Es evidente q Sam está enamorado de Cait y fíjense q con ninguna otra mujer a podido hacer una relación o mantenerla bueno ella está casada se labró una familia como lo dijo Sam en una entrevista no comparto q el hijo q ella tiene sea de Sam para nada y q ellos estén juntos, no creo q Sam y Cait sean tan descarados en engañar a la opinión pública o a sus fans pero como fan q soy y fiel a esta serie maravillosa pienso q son el uno para el otro

I have been sitting alone under a stone for quite a long time, and apparently the world has changed significantly during that time, which I had no idea about. Now I have come into the light and I am speechless with amazement.

Since when, please tell me, has it become socially acceptable to write to someone (okay, to write to me) in a language I don't understand at all? On my honour, I don't understand, I don't know, I've never spoken Spanish.

Nada. Zero.

Are we really going to let AI and Google Translate replace human politeness?

Never mind.

🤦🏻‍♀️

Dear Liliana,

You know, I think (and it shows in every single note I post on Tumblr) that Sam and Cait have been shamelessly deceiving the public for many years. And I believe that Cait did start a family, but not with her gay assistant.

Why would she be with him at all? He has always been immune to her charms. He doesn't see her. He can't afford to be publicly polite to Cait. Why should Cait get involved with such an insensitive, indifferent, cold man?

There is no logic to it. Logic, however, can be seen here.

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

My warmest regards. And have a nice day!

🤗

[November 28, 2023]

[beggars-opera]

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Created by TumblrTop10

[johannestevans]

My Top 6 Films of 2023

Just some recommendations for my favourite new releases of last year!

Originally published on Cinemania.

2023 had a few knock-out hits as far as the cinema goes — obviously, people were very excited about the respective releases of Barbie and Oppenheimer, but my top films of the year were a bit different.

One thing I do think unites a lot of these — and a trend I hope to see from more films in the next few years — is a trend toward more earnestness and sincerity in scripts and plot lines, and I’m hoping that trend continues!

Without further ado, my top films of 2023:

They Cloned Tyrone (dir. Juel Taylor)

They Cloned Tyrone is a fucking triumph, and hands-down had my favourite costume design of the year — it at the same time feels very vintage in places, calling heavily on the Blaxploitation movies of the 1970s and their aesthetics while at the same time dragging in more modern— and dystopian — futuristic elements throughout. Teyonah Parris is a particular triumph as Yo-Yo, but the whole cast really rocks this whole flick.

This film feels in so many ways like a fever dream, layering disparate elements and tones, and for that is all the more hard-hitting with the horror and painful realism of its cynical central plot.

If you watch a single of the films recommended on this list, make it this one.

Down Low (dir. Rightor Doyle)

This film is weird as fuck, and it makes a lot out of leaning into that. Delving into the ugly reality of down-low hook-ups on gay dating apps and dialing the chaos that can arise from them up to the max, this is a surprisingly heartfelt look at gay loneliness and isolation in the white middle-class US.

It’s fast-paced and kooky with its dialogue — Lukas Gage, of Euphoria fame, co-wrote the script with Phoebe Fisher, and Gage’s particular style of verbose and down-right weird speeches are dotted through it — and while it ultimately ends in the death you know from the beginning is coming, it doesn’t feel like it’s wholly a tragedy.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023, dir. John Francis Daley & Jonathan Goldstein)

I don’t think I need to go into great detail about this one — Dungeons and Dragons’ newest addition to its array of canons here is a spellbinding and delightful watch. A lot of the problem with fantasy films and TV shows the past few years has been how painfully over-ironic they are, with none of them being able to just lean into their premise and accept that, yes, we’re being a bit silly, and that’s the point! But the DnD movie is just spectacularly earnest and gives itself entirely over to the wonder of its world, and that feels wonderful.

Every time I’ve watched it, which is a few times now, I’ve picked up on new fun world details or little in-jokes, and there are just so many things this film does right and has fun with, most of all making Xenk Yendar even more autistic than ever whilst also making him hot with the Regé-Jean Page casting.

And also, Hugh Grant is here playing a horrible, sleazy bastard of a wizard, and speaking of hot —

Cocaine Bear (dir. Elizabeth Banks)

Must a film be good?

Firstly, isn’t a coked-up horny female bear wreaking havoc and ripping people to shreds enough? And also, even if it wasn’t enough, aren’t so many queer characters going through the weirdest day out ever, girlbosses galore (I’m including the bear), funny as Hell dialogue, and even plot twists enough?

We saw this in the cinema on its release, and it was utterly glorious. Everyone should have the pleasure of seeing the feminist icon of 2023, the cocaine bear (sorry, Barbie), on the biggest screen imaginable, ripping into some hapless gay with full surround sound.

The Boogeyman (dir. Rob Savage)

I normally run along to see any new releases from Rob Savage as I loved Host, and The Boogeyman was so much more than I expected — bearing no resemblance at all to the original lacklustre Stephen King short story, this film really plays so creatively with light and shadow and has an honestly spine-tingling monster design that feels viscerally frightening from its introduction to its final boss battle.

I love it when a film plays with light sources, most of all when good horror does it, and this flick really delivers on that point — not knowing where light is going to come from adds extra tension when you’re trying to see into the shadowy corners, and whether it’s from the lunar nightlight, the videogame flashes, the camera, the fridge, or anywhere else, this film really has this holistic approach to light and shadow that just fucks.

The Pope’s Exorcist (dir. Julius Avery)

Again, must a film be good?

Isn’t it enough to have a coked-up bear —

Okay, I used that line already, but this time it’s Russell Crowe, and he’s doing an Italian accent, and he’s riding a little Vespa, and it’s the funniest and best thing in the world.

Much like the DnD movie, The Pope’s Exorcist really leans into its premise and just goes really earnest about it — it doesn’t take too much time to sardonically comment on the ridiculousness of its own universe, and that makes it feel really fresh compared to a lot of other big studio horror films. It’s silly and stupid and mixes more impressive scares in with the cheap ones, and it’s just a really fun movie to watch with friends.

[read-and-write-]

2023 Fic Wrapped

Thanks to @anincompletelist for tagging me! This is such a fun thing to do!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. There are no rules!

Posted on Ao3: 34,145 (Across 14 fics)

Written total: 152,778 (yes, i do have a lot of docs created, a lot more than anyone wants to see)

3 published fandoms: Red, White and Royal Blue, All for the Game, The Shadowhunters Chronicles

Longest work: and every song reminds me of you (4,088 words)

Shortest work: yo te llevo dentro, hasta la raíz  (546 words)

very real wips, things I'm actively working on

Super Six and the Siren's Call (PJO AU- +100k) co-written with @inexplicablymine and @happiness-of-the-pursuit one of the most wonderful projects I've had the honour to be a part of and I'm so exicted for people to see it

Toe the Line (Figure Skating AU - 20k currently) my dearest child, 60 pages of outline, investigation, character sheets and visions i have at three am for a random scene 5 chapter away

Y recuerda siempre que tú eres la medicina (A bilingual June character study) A companion piece of sorts for a train of thought (of things not to forget), June's perspective through it all, both in Spanish and English like Alex's. and with Natalia Lafourcade lyrics as a title because that's June coded

carved within the beauty, the darkness in between and without (your) love, I am nothing two pieces about religion and firstprince from each of their povs, a question about loving yourself and about loving someone else against the things you've been taught and finding divinity within each other.

not so real wips with a little less real word counts but a lot of vibes

Spiderman AU, my entry for the New Years Resolutions event of @thebrownstone, which means it'll get here at some point

MasterChef AU, my way to put my professional knowledge to good use, it was a silly funny story and it grew a plot

Dancer AU, a drabble fail that was just a vision and then some people kind of made it get a full dual pov, double 5 + 1 plot

Numbers are not everything but I do like data and stats

Kudos: 3,969

Comment Threads: 187

Bookmarks: 946

Hits: 37,149

Numbers do not define an author's worth, but I also can see how far I've gotten with just one day deciding I wanted to write and post my fun little words again

top 3 sorted by kudos

las formas de llamarte amor (2.5k - 630 kudos)

my first fic in the rwrb fandom, it makes me so happy to see it being loved, it was the ultimate show of self indulgence

Henry has been a public figure for most of his life, the reason why he’s been given dozens of titles, some kinder than others, he’s been the gay prince, the spare, the prince of England's hearts, the activist, the author. All of the titles are inevitably a part of his history, but the way Alex calls him is the most important of all. Because to Alex, he is sweetheart, amor, and corazón; Alex calls him mi vida in between kisses and whispers hermoso, lindo, precioso with his wandering hands working through Henry’s body. His name sounds better when it comes out of Alex’s lips. or 5 times Alex calls Henry a pet name in Spanish and one time he calls him by his name or Henry learns Spanish one pet name at a time

to belong to a family (even beyond this world) (2.5k - 578 kudos)

this one, this one i wrote with my own soul, i used my tears as ink, wrote it for the Halloween Huh fest and it all the comments have made me so incredibly happy

“Talk to him. They listen, they always listen,” Ligia says and Henry nods, she squeezes his hand again before turning back and leaving him alone in front of the ofrenda. It's very rare that Henry has been at a loss for words when he tries to talk to his father. He has spent countless nights speaking to the stars, looking for Orion and hoping that —wherever his father is— he is looking for it too. “Hi dad,” Henry says softly, taking another look at the picture of his father, smiling at the camera. “I missed you.” or When Alex and Henry go to Mexico for Día de Muertos a familiar face appears on the Díaz ofrenda

you are an idiot (i missed you) (1.6k - 475 kudos)

wrote this on a whim, blacked out and pulled this out of nowhere, my first fic for aftg and really just an excuse to write Andreil being married for convenience™

The best, and arguably the only, good part of playing on opposing teams from your husband was getting to play a match against him. Therefore one could say that Neil was very excited about getting to play against Andrew tonight. Not only because for the first time since the season started they'd finally be in the same State and City (And later after the game, the same house) but also because Neil thought Andrew was 100% hotter when he was playing (Not that he would tell him out loud), and seeing him live was definitely better than seeing him on a screen. There was also the added bonus of the infamous Minyard - Josten Rivalry. Or Neil and Andrew are having too much fun with their rivalry until someone else takes it too seriously, and then they have a talk.

Being a not native english speaker means that fanfic does teach me a lot of stuff, namely vocabulary this year stars some bangers

Saccharine

Ubiquitous

Litany

Chagrin

Filibuster

I created a total of 19 docs, which doesn't mean there's 19 fics there, but it also doesn't not mean it

Alex's POV wins with total of seven fics

Six fics have the tag of Alex Claremont-Díaz Speaks Spanish

Three of my wips have an outline longer than 10 pages

there's a 30%? chance I will write smut at some point in the new year

my funniest doc title is "If you have religious trauma and you know it clap your hands"

This year has been crazy, for many reasons but I'm glad I found this space and I'm glad I'm back to writing, and on top of it all I'm glad of being able to meet so many because of it.

And the year is not over yet! There's still more to come!

I'm tagging a few people, don't feel pressured to do this but if there's anything you feel proud of I'd love to see it @inexplicablymine @happiness-of-the-pursuit @affectionatelyrs @littlemisskittentoes @ssmtskw @raysletters @14carrotghoul @heybuddy-drabbles @suseagull04 @everwitch-magiks @sherryvalli @rockyroadkylers

[13eyond13]

In honour of recently completing my 2023 challenge of reading 50+ books this year, here are 10 books that I enjoyed in 2023 in no particular ranked order. (My reading taste leans towards the atmospheric, dark, satirical, suspenseful, strange and horror-tinged, btw):

1 A Lush and Seething Hell by John Hornor Jacobs

I'm currently in the process of reading this one (it's two small novels in one book), but I can already recommend it based just on the style and the quality of the first story. Somehow feels similar to me to catching an odd old foreign film on TV late at night when I'm the only person awake and then getting unexpectedly invested in it.

2 Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind

I'd read the first few chapters of this over a decade ago and they were so instantly memorable and vividly told that they remained burned into my mind ever since. Love the attention to detail in bringing this grotesque version of 1700s France to life, and how much the story made me think about my sense of smell and other familiar things in new ways

3 Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Funnier than I expected! Almost more a comedy than a romance in my opinion. Just very pleasant to read in general. I laughed out loud several times

4 The Midwife's Apprentice by Karen Cushman

This was a childhood favourite of mine that I decided to revisit, and it actually held up very well. I found the dark and cruel and gossipy little village that Beetle has to try to survive in fascinating, and same with learning about all the weird (historically accurate!) shit that was involved in medieval midwifery

5 Paradise Rot by Jenny Hval

I've mentioned this one on this blog already, but it feels like a surreal and melancholy bad dream in the best kind of way. More going on here to think about than just being the "lesbian piss book" (though you will find a generous helping of both things in the pages haha). Sticky and unsettling to read, like living in a compost pile, and probably not for everyone. But also poetic and lush and tense and and yeah, kinda gay

6 Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

As fun and compulsively readable as a modern thrillers while also being complex and atmospheric and literary all at once. Somehow I still didn't have all the twists and turns spoiled for me beforehand! A definite 5/5 from me

7 Come Closer by Sara Gran

A strange, unsettling and brisk little book about demonic possession that was very easy to fly through in less than a day. Might have benefitted from being left a little more ambiguous overall (imo), but still entertaining to read, and grabs you right from the first page

8 The Fisherman by John Langan

An extremely imaginative and detailed little universe is fleshed out here that includes some fascinating true-to-life history (did you know sometimes entire towns were vacated and stripped bare so giant water reservoirs could be built on top of them? And that the buildings are still just sitting down there under all that water sometimes? Well, you'll learn all about it here). Some very haunting imagery and characters and scenes that will easily burn themselves into your brain

9 Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer

Creepy science fiction that feels a bit like embarking on a D&D campaign with some companions you don't actually trust or know very well. This one grew on me more over time as one that continued to stick with me a while after I had finished it. The mysteriousness and ambiguity of what's actually going on can either spur you to finish the whole series or simply give you a ton of food for thought to mull over and dissect

10 Contact by Carl Sagan

ALIENS! A very timely topic considering the types of news stories we've been getting in 2023. I was already familiar with Carl Sagan because of his Cosmos TV series, and only recently found out he wrote some fiction as well. Very pleasantly surprised at how well-written it is and that he put a female protagonist at the helm, and how he can share his expertise and knowledge and theories in the books in an easily accessible and entertaining way

[flock-of-cassowaries]

Five Questions for Nine People I’d like to get to know better.

@foxgloveinthesun Thank you for asking! There are friends of mine who would say you have made a grave error in extending this invitation, but I’ll do my best to not hog the microphone too much.

Last song: Dashboard by Modest Mouse, on repeat. Something about the melody really captures some of the low-level restlessness and frustration I’ve been feeling on and off since approximately 2015. And it’s a bop.

Favourite colour: Green, but like, kind of a yellow-green chartreuse situation. It evokes life and vibrancy for me. Also the colour of my sofa, which one of my long-time IRL friend hates, and which I have therefore specifically bequeathed to her in the event of my untimely death. (When I was initially sofa-shopping, my then-boyfriend confidently advised me it was “a neutral”. I now suspect he may have been colourblind.)

Honourable mentions to:

- the dark grey-blue the clouds get when it’s about to rain and everyone around me is cranky about it (because apparently, I am a troll)

- orange (my grandmother’s happy colour, and mine too; also the colour of her glorious, deep-pile shag carpets); and

- fuschia, because fuck my early-2000s-teenager NLOG internalized misogyny, I am allowed to fucking like pink.

Currently watching: Dark Shadows. I love a good campy soap opera, and oh my gosh, this one has exceeded all my expectations. So happy it’s available to stream. (For free! On Tubi.)

I’m also putting off finishing Doom Patrol. I have five episodes left, but I love the characters so much and don’t wanna let go.

Sweet / savoury / spicy: Savoury. I bow humbly at the altar of monosodium glutamate. But I also particularly love a sweet-savoury combo, like hoisin sauce.

Relationship status: Ended a long, tortured long-distance relationship with a cis man (who turned out to be a hardcore conspiracy-theory enthusiast) in January.

Trying to unburden myself of all of that baggage, and to work up the courage to put myself out there and date women, because I think that would probably work out better. I’ve never had the courage to do that before, even though I’ve always known I was attracted to women (since before I even knew I could be attracted to men), because I am, above all else, a coward 👍; and also, the above-mentioned internalized misogyny.

Buuuut last two times I’ve attempted a relationship with a man, I’ve get a lot of pressure to perform femininity in ways that didn’t feel natural to me, and gotten a lot of hostility directed at me due to my straight male partners feeling that being involved with me threatened their claim to straightness.

…and also, I really, truly no longer need to impress my dad. So, like, fuck it…?

But it’s still scary as fuck.

Current obsession: Succession; or, perhaps more accurately, my unfinished, un-posted, and perhaps excessively-ambitious Succession fanfiction, which I’ve been working on since last July.

I remember, in March 2023, hearing a local radio host talking about how excited he was to watch season four of Succession, and just thinking “That show sounds insufferable; why would I care about the power struggles of a group of ultra-rich assholes?”

Little did I know that the specific dynamics of the father-son relationship depicted therein;

…and the son (Roman)’s own relationship to his privilege (something he’s afraid to give up, but unable to fully realize because he just can’t quite pass as the cis straight man he’s supposed to be);

…and his relationship to his quasi-messianic father’s right-wing political convictions, which he has adopted as his own;

…and how this all exists in tension with his ambiguous, but undeniable, queerness (as the reason he can’t ever fully enjoy the privilege his wealth and maleness would otherwise afford - despite him never owning up to it, everyone around him reads him as gay, and reminds him of this constantly at the slightest hint of conflict);

— yeah, it just all maps so perfectly onto things I’ve struggled with myself over the past three decades; many which I have been ashamed to even acknowledge.

[Pause for breath.]

(Even though I have never been anywhere even proximate to the level of wealth depicted, I’ve had a lot of privilege from being white, comfortably-middle-class, beauty-standard attractive, and capitalism-compatible; but being an AFAB person playing the role of a cis woman (successfully, if rather uncomfortably), and not a cis or cis-passing man, has locked me out of the full exercise of the privilege that right-wing politics asserted would be mine, if only I conformed.)

(And also my dad is a self-styled philosopher king / violent lunatic who thinks Walter White, Machiavelli, and Richard Nixon are inspirational figures, and who subscribes to the right-wing daily newspaper founded by one of the men the patriarch in Succession is based on.)

So. I have a lot of ideas.

(Pictured: Me.)

Plus, the show has plot holes big enough to drive a fleet of Lincoln Town cars through (or perhaps a mega-yacht, pursued by angry orcas 🛥️ 🐳🐳🐳); and nothing spurs my creativity quite like a plot hole, so that’s just perfect for my fanfiction-writing process.

(And it also features a very kinky quasi-sexual situationship that, uh… does things for me. So. That’s a bonus.)

Last thing you googled: The publication date of Henry Ford’s favourite work of anti-Semitic hate propaganda. I’m listening to a chapter in an audiobook (“How Fascism Works”, by Jonathan Stanley, 2018 - Random House) that discusses it.

I don’t know if anyone else likes talking about themselves as much as I very evidently do, but I would like to extend the invitation to answer these same five questions to the following esteemed hell-sitecitizens: @inkandcayenne , @theveryparanormalgabriel , @scabby-lasagne , @scabby-lasagne , @trwinsome, @rockstar-moron , @saul-okayman , @threeguesses , and @reidoxreader.

[twelvegrimmyplace]

Nick for Gay Times x

[feelingpure]

JB fans around the world today:

JONATHAN BAILEY Photoshoot for Gay Times (2023) | 📸: Asafe Ghalib

[riotstarruika]

Top 5 reads from 2023(ish)

Tagged by @earthly-apples ♥ Some of these may be from 2022 because I don't remember and time is fake anyway :P

Les Mis Unsurprisingly this book continues to consume my thoughts. I'm very behind on Les Mis Letters, but it was great to read through a good chunk of it again with the knowledge and necessary context to understand some of the things that went over my head the first time. Truly, a work that rewards hyperfixation XD (Honourable mention to the Arai manga as well, which was published in English this year)

Orsinia How could I refuse an Ursula K. LeGuin novel about student revolutionaries in a fictional central European country in the 1820s? It has good synergy with les mis as it references some of the same political themes and events, though the tone is more 'grounded' and small scale compared to Hugo's very grand symbolic one. Its characters are more accidental revolutionaries who have sort of stumbled into being figureheads of their movement rather than deliberately setting out to be so, but it's super interesting to see the main character try to balance his family life and wants with what he wants to achieve, and the danger it involves. It's also pretty sad in places, but with a less depressing ending les mis (low bar, I know). Ursula K LeGuin's prose is a delight, as ever.

Piranesi I've been really enjoying books that do interesting things with prose lately and this was one of them. It's difficult to say much about this one without spoiling it, but even though I guessed most of the plot very early on, the way the story was told made it feel fresh and interesting, and the vibes of the main setting are immaculate. I've also been liking alternative art histories and art / literary 'memoirs', one of which is Deaths of the Poets. It's part history and part travelogue, documenting the journey of two modern day poets visiting places that famous historical poets died, with a view to exploring the mythos and mystique around the idea of poets as tragic, romantic 'tormented artist' types. I liked that it explored not just the biographical 'facts' of the poets lives, but how they were received by the public at the time, and how the cultural expectations of what it means to be a poet shapes how their artistic work is perceived. Outrageous! The Story of Section 28 and Britain's Battle for LGBT Education A history of the UK's own 'don't say gay' law in the late 1980s/ early 90s and how it was eventually overturned that somehow manages to be more hopeful than depressing. I'm not old enough to remember any of the events the author discusses, yet I can still feel the law's impact on how the people around me discussed (or didn't discuss) LGBTQ+ people when I was a kid. A lot of the same rhetoric that was used against gay and lesbian people in the 80s has been repurposed to attack trans people now, and a few of the names in it may be familiar (derogatory), but it also highlights the actions of the people who fought against it and eventually won out. Zero-pressure tagging @fremedon, @upatreewithoutaharness and @thevagueambition because I feel like you'll have interesting recs 😊

[bug-decal-kissing]

Hey friends!

A new work, if only the stars could hear my love for you, by confetti_punk, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of General Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "ProhibitedWish, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, sappy till the hurt, Bittersweet, this is just a silly idea i had dont think too much into it tbh, A little ooc maybe?, idk scarab is just more passive then i usually like him to be, Emotional Hurt, fellas is it gay to go stargazing and cuddle together?, i love these dumb emotionally repressed old men so much guys, im so tired, had a migraine the whole to i wrote this but its okay cause im a brave boy"

You can read it here:

YESSSSSS A SOFT MOMENT BETWEEN THEM, IT'S DELICIOUS <33333 Prismo is so lonely and touch-starved; I think he needs,, a cat/silly BUT THAT ENDING AAAAAAGH AA NOOOOOO IM GOING TO THROW UP DONT DO THAT TO THEMMMMMM WAAAAAGH/pos

A new work, Party for a New Wishmaster by phoenixash234flames, was published today, with 1/1 Chapters released! It has a rating of Teen And Up Audiences and No Archive Warnings Apply, with additional tags "Implied Sexual Content, POV First Person, scarab pov"

You can read it here:

Orbo finds out what gay people are/j Prismo is so SMITTEN for Scarab and Scarab is so SMITTEN for him too, it makes me want to eat my walls/pos

NSFW works are below the cut :].

The Beginning is the End is the Beginning, by grylos, was updated today, with 13/? Chapters released! It has a rating of Explicit and Graphic Depictions Of Violence, and Rape/Non-Con, with additional tags "Genocide, Slavery, Sexual Slavery, Bombs, Suicidal Thoughts, Sad, Happy Ending, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Backstory, Slow Burn, Child Abuse, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Corruption, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Harm, Grooming, Oviposition, Bugs & Insects, bug sex, Cannibalism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Suicide Attempt, Dismemberment, Violence, Blood and Gore"

You can read it here:

Baby's first (real) job <3 Amnion is my little guy now they are so sad and I think they need a nice blanket and then everything will be okay /j Helen is both cool and terrifying I want her to leAVE SCARAB ALONE HE DID NOTHING WRONG YOUR HONOUR </3

[redbreastedbird]

what are your sexuality and pronouns headcannons for ur murder most unladylike characters? :D

also i love your books so much, and i adore all the representation that you have put in them. So just thank you! and also thank you for being so active in your fans community it’s super cool to see you awnsering questions and stuff!! :)

I’ve answered sexuality headcanons in previous asks - basically a lot of variations on ‘queer’ - but pronouns isn’t something I’ve been asked before and I think it’s really interesting!

People used pronouns in slightly different ways in the 1930/s/40s to the way we do today, and so when I’m thinking about adding trans and nb characters to my stories I have to balance out what we expect in 2023 with what would have happened in 1930s/40s. Like I’ve seen cis gay men called ‘she’ by other gay men in books from the 30s and 40s as kind of acknowledgement of gayness/a badge of honour. Which doesn’t read in the same way now as it did then!

Also, even though nb people in the 30s and 40s were clearly saying that they weren’t male or female just the way they do today, the idea of a singular they pronoun wasn’t in use in the same way as it is then. And obviously neopronouns were not yet in use at all! So I’m currently thinking a lot about how to refer to an nb person in a way that honours them now but also honours how they would have spoken and thought about themselves then.

Claude Cahun is one of the people I’m fascinated by at the moment. They referred to themself as ‘neuter’, so when I talk about them now it seems right to call them them, but they used she/her at least most of the time when they were alive. This is a great article about them and about the pronoun question.

So, you know, it’s a whole thing! I’m not sure what the answer is yet for my books. But if you personally want to headcanon any of my characters as trans, or decide that they would use particular pronouns either in modern AUs or during the time my books are about, then absolutely go for it!! I truly do not think all of my MMU detectives would identify as cis if they were teenagers in 2023!

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

2023 Character Wrap

Top 9 characters for the year.

1.) Major Anthony P. Havers-BBC Ghosts

aka my soft boy.

(Surprise the self-proclaimed Havers lunatic loves Havers 😉) Just know this man stole my heart in 2021 in under 4 minutes (the microexpressions fml) and this year it was my highlight to see him again. He's kind, protects the man he loves from ridicule, has a boyish grin and a cheeky streak. He likes dancing. He fell for his beau because he was attracted to his kindness. He's been through it and continues to go through it 😢Also PSC answered my question about him and I'm still screaming about it to this day🥺💖

2. The Captain -BBC Ghosts

aka my creaky boy.

He is silly, kind, gay and autistic, a dad, sometimes bitchy and one of my most beloved characters ever. Also so gorgeous and a little bit pathetic. I adore him with all my heart and soul. Blorbo from my shows.

3. Thraxus Boorman -Willow 2022

Sarcastic, great fighter, loyal, kind but he'll jump of cliffs to deny that (literally), the funniest character of 2023 and an absolute iconic bi disaster. He's a classic rogue, as is his absolute badass girlfriend.

4.) Joe Pritchard -The light in the hall

aka Joe, babes

Such a brilliant character, somehow really dark and mysterious but ultimate kicked puppy vibes. He'll keep you (and himself) guessing until the end if he really killed someone. He has amnesia due to traums. I really wasn't sure until the end if he did it or not. Amazing character. My Boy needs 1 million hugs.

5.) Graydon Hastur-Willow 2022

aka Graydon, babes aka Prince of darkness

A prince who loves learning esp. languages, very, very dark past, kind, loving, just some guy in love, easily corrupted but he's fighting it. and as it turns out he has a gift for magic. The sweetest love confession ever.

6. Barbara Parker/Sophie Straw-Funny woman

Gorgeous, hilariously funny, smart, sweet, standing up for what she believes in and makes her way in an industry that only treasures her because of her looks. But she makes them see how brilliant her brain is.

7. Sir Humphrey Bone -BBC Ghosts

aka Humphrey my goldhaas

Awkward, kind and odd. He deserves all the love in the world and to be seen and loved for who he is. This year he's getting revenge on those who ignore/mistreat him and I am here for it. Boy is not the best listener though.

8. Lord Adam Quinn -A kind of spark

aka my pretty evil princess

He is legit evil okay. But idgaf. Great villain and his modern day equivalent makes me weak in the knees. Portrayal wise he is also a small amount of ridiculous and I love that.

9. Robin the caveman - BBC ghosts

aka my chaos gremlin

Kind, wise, chaotic little gremlin also sometimes more the family dog than anything else. Loves space. Utterly hilarious and tragic at the same time. His worst trait is incest according to him. I love him so much I'm gonna get a tattoo that's just about him.

To be fair I have a plethora of beloved characters that rotate in my brain 24/7 but these nine were either new or in special focus this year. Ghosts hyperfixation is at it's absolute peak, I was barely able to watch anything else. Also I watched some things that didn't leave me with a favourite character 🤷🏻‍♀️However honourable mention has to be Allan from Barbie.

I'm tagging @hollow-ghost-fire , @unusual-ly ,@ineffablelunatic , @tonightwedance and @realismreading