#gay panic bea

[sheltereredturtle]

and they were roommates

[certifiedfae]

all i’m saying is we got an inner monologue of ava falling for a boy in season 1 and NOTHING when her and bea were being gay disasters for each other in season 2. we were ROBBED

[willowedhepatica]

Ava falling asleep on Beatrice's shoulder

When Beatrice was a kid she used to go down on bruised knees and pray to God. 

She doesn't know if she really believed in him or not, or if it was just a pursuit for her parents validation. She doesn't know if he ever believed in her. But even then, when she stayed down on the scratchy wooden floor she hoped it would bring her something inexplicable. Something holy.

Even that felt like sinning back then.

The fire cracks and Ava holds a beer up towards the starlit sky as she leans her weight on one shoulder. "To Shannon and Mary for arranging this, I've always wanted to go camping!" 

Camila giggles as Ava takes a swig from the can. Beatrice resists the urge to steady her when she seems to tip a little too far to the left. Ava only straightens, a wonky grin forming on her face as she turns to her. "Want some?"

"You know I don't drink."

"Really, not even when a pretty girl offers?" Ava wiggles her eyebrows and Beatrice's cheeks grow warm. 

Lilith scoffs somewhere from the far left but she isn't paying enough attention to her surroundings for that to matter. That was her first mistake. Because Ava is gorgeous. The flames light up her face and dance across her skin, making her eyes glow. She shifts in place. There's just enough space between them on the wooden log for Beatrice to be able to place a hand between them. "I- you're not..."

Before Beatrice can sputter any further Ava bumps her on the shoulder. "I'm just messing with you, Bea. Would be cool seeing a nun drink though." 

She nods meekly. Digs her nails into the palm of her hand. "Yeah." She doesn't want to remember that part of her right now. Not when she's here. Not with Ava.

She is everything Beatrice isn't. Wild, carefree and bubbly as if everything would burst if she held it between her ribcage for too long. Her cargo jacket, ripped and mended together with all kinds of patches in yellow green and red, hung loose from one of her shoulders and revealed a black tank top underneath. Ava didn't seem like she had noticed. Beatrice had. Damn it she had. How could she possibly have not?

The fire cracks. Everyone is laughing about something, probably Mary because Ava has challenged her to a drinking game and Mary is leaning in like she was born for this moment.

Beatrice simply watches. They are used to her being quiet. 

After two shots Ava sways towards her, arm pressing into her own as she whispers. "You alright?" 

The skin where she makes contact burns. Her whole body tingles. Her voice comes out like a single breath. "Yeah." 

"Okay." 

Beatrice's eyes shoot down to her hand. Ava is playing with her fingers, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. She shudders. The chatting around them feels distant.

"Are you cold?" Ava continues, still close. Still tracing her fingers over her skin.

"I'm fine. The fire is warm." 

Ava laughs. Beatrice blushes again, jaw tightening. 

"Here." Ava says as she starts taking her jacket off, quite clumsily but doing it nonetheless.

"Ava, no, you need to stay warm."

"Yeah yeah, I know. I can catch a cold or whatever." She rolls her eyes, but not mockingly, just knowing. In a way that could only be done between people who had known each other for a while. She'd only known her for a couple months, Beatrice reminds herself. She shouldn't feel like this--

Ava scoots closer, slides her jacket over her shoulder and adjusts it, keeping her arm there. "There, now we can both stay warm." 

Beatrice tenses, looks around to see if anyone is watching. They aren't, surprisingly so. Beatrice believes they are sparring them, at least for now. Ava doesn't seem to care at all. In fact, she is only watching her. "This is okay right?" 

It isn't the first time Ava's done this. Beatrice has learned from the short time she's known her that she's a physical person. Always in need to reach out, feel the world around her. As if though she is afraid it might disappear. Afraid it wouldn't be real. Beatrice has never been fond by touch but Ava-- Ava made it feel sacred. Like the creation of fire sparked from the simplicity of it. 

She allows herself to relax into it. Into Ava's side. "Yes, yeah it's okay."

Ava answers by letting her head fall on her shoulder, buries her face into her neck and hums. "You smell nice."

God she wishes the others weren't here right now. 

"Do I?"

"Yea." Ava mumbles, lips tickling across her skin. "Smells like pine."

"Pine." She mutters uselessly, mouth dry and heart beating out of her chest. 

Ava draws closer, eyes closed. "Mhm, it's like, you're one with the forest. Or something. Like the werewolves." Beatrice can feel her break into a smile.

She turns her head just enough to glance down at her. "Did you just compare me to a werewolf?" 

Beatrice isn't able to hide the amusement from her voice, especially not when Ava starts to giggle, her entire body shaking with her laughter. "You would be a great werewolf." 

Beatrice doesn't know how to answer that but it doesn't really matter. Ava is dozing off, arm slipping from her shoulder to land loosely behind her back. Beatrice adjusts herself slowly, careful not to disturb her. 

If this is sinning she didn't want to be right. If anyone told her this is anything but holy, she wouldn't believe them. How could anything that felt like this be wrong? 

[possibilistfanfiction]

Wn prompt: 'please'

[anyway we love switzerland era panic; lil bit from girls against god part 4 for @unicyclehippo]

it's not that you meant to see anything; you had just been taking out the trash because hans was busy at the bar and ava was on her fifteen minute break. but then you're in the alleyway and ava is pressed up against the dirty brick wall, imani — one of your regulars, and one of your favorites — leaning into kiss her again.

your pulse pounds in your ears and you inexplicably feel like you're about to burst into tears: but ava is not yours, and it's her break, and, while it may be irresponsible and is certainly not preparing her to save the world in any way, you don't feel like you can say anything, or stop her in any way.

she opens her eyes at the noise of the door opening, and then she's pushing imani back after she catches sight of you.

'sorry imani,' she says, casual and with an unapologetic but kind smile, 'my break is almost over. great time, though.'

you go back inside as imani is laughing, happy, and nothing is serious even though you feel like you're going to stop breathing any second. you go to the supply closet just so you can gather yourself, and your whole body feels like it's about to explode out of your skin.

eventually, you manage to calm down, just a little, and it's the end of your shift anyway. ava is, blessedly, busy, and so you wave to hans and scurry away; perhaps a little cowardly, but you might throw up, and it's all too revelatory for you to bear calmly.

you eat dinner in silence, not even turning on the tv or a podcast on your phone or opening a book, making your way through the leftover pasta ava had left in the fridge, cold, dutifully. you get ready for bed — wash your face, brush your teeth, change into pajamas — and curl up under the blanket. you lie there, go over everything in your mind: ava had been kissing someone; ava had been kissing a girl.

the front door opens eventually, as it was bound to do: ava always comes home. you hear her drink a glass of water and then stumble around the bathroom, trying and not succeeding at all in being quiet. she changes in the dark; of course, you don't look. you might be able to admit to yourself, shaky, that you want to, that you long to, but you've made your vows and you are here to protect her, to train her, and nothing more.

she lies down next to you in bed, softly, and after a few seconds she rolls over.

'bea?'

you stay silent.

'i know you're not asleep.'

you sigh, turn over so you can face her. her features are softer in the relief in the moonlight; she looks, you can admit, angelic.

'please talk to me.'

'i'm not mad.' you find, inexplicably, this is the most important place to start.

'oooookay,' she says, 'but you seem kinda mad.'

'i'm not,' you say.

'you don't — it didn't mean anything,' she says, a little desperate, unexpected. 'i've just never kissed a girl before.'

'you — you're interested in women?'

ava smiles, lighter again, and laughs a little. 'yeah,' she says, shrugs. 'who wouldn't be? women are... soft and kind and smell good and beautiful.'

you don't have anything to say; all you want, in your whole heart, is to press your lips to hers. you think, a little tired and a little sad and full of years of pent up longing, you would die for it. you would die for her.

'is that... a problem?'

'oh,' you say, 'of course not, ava. i'm just... i'm a little surprised, is all.'

'i mean, i cut my hair and have been wearing this stupid little cap backward for all its worth. i'd sure hope girls would notice me, at least sometimes.'

it hangs in the air for a second — you notice her; you always have — before she pinches your side and you laugh, just once, reluctantly but a blessing nonetheless.

'ava, please.'

it comes out a little strangled and she snorts a laugh and then shrugs.

'i won't do it again.'

'you — you could, as long as it doesn't distract you from training or jeopardize our cover.'

she shrugs. 'nah. imani isn't the girl i want to kiss.'

you feel like all the breath has been sucked out of your lungs, kind of like when you'd gotten hit in the stomach with a bow staff at 17 and had spent minutes gasping for air.

'i — it would be — you know what,' she says, 'never mind.'

'ava.'

'nah, it's cool.' she wiggles her way nearer to you, pushes on your hip until you turn over and she can wrap her arms around you. you tried to fight it for weeks but this is the most consistent way you can both sleep through the night, the halo facing the door just in case, her knees tucked safely behind yours. 'you're a nun, and all that.'

you're too tired to ask what that means, although you're pretty sure you know. you would die to kiss her; you would give up every vow you'd made to any god.

but not now. tonight, you think of the way imani's hands had flitted gentle and greedy over ava's hips, the way you had heard the hitch of ava's breath. desire is no stranger to you, despite your reticence and discipline.

'sleep well, ava,' you say, and she snores softly in response, lips gently pressed against your spine.

[sistertinysips]

Another fun thought about WN

When Lilith is discussing ripping the halo out of Ava after they caught her at archTeq, Bea asks

Bea: and if she dies?

Lilith: that's up to god

Things inside the room start to shake and Ava starts floating above the bed. Despite the fact that we're explicitly told by Ava that she cannot move because she's still under the effects of Bea's (affectionate ❤️) tranquilizer dart. Only after that she's able to move again.

Which means, not only did the halo chose Ava, god/reya/whoever is the equivalent of god in this universe did too

Also, Ava is wearing different clothes than what she was wearing previous to arriving at cat's cradle. Someone had to strip her and put her into training-friendly clothing. And in my headcanon it was Bea (and also Camila because she's just helpful and sweet like that), because it's fun to think of the gay panic involved

[elimf]

@basboose

[captianday-dreamer]

Can someone pls gif the scene where Ava is telling the sisters their first plan and is giving heart eyes to Bea and Bea suddenly snapping her head away when she realizes she’s supposed to be the next one talking. Like these two idiots are just smiling at each other for a good 3 secs and Bea just gay panics a bit. She turned her head away way too fast. That’ll be nice.

[vigilskeep]

what’s Bea’s thoughts/relationships with the companions so far? any interesting dynamics?

yeah i’m having a lot of fun w them!!

she gets along well with solas, her chantry opinions sometimes grate but she’s so inquisitive and he loves to explain. he’s so strange to her, she’s never truly talked to a mage before let alone an elf who acts so unlike the elves she’s interacted with. she’s too young and uncertain to mind at all being talked down to a little bit; she sees him as a scholar and wants him to think she’s worthy of holding intellectual conversations with

she thinks varric is an exciting dashing rogue to hang out with because she doesn’t have the context to realise he’s also a nepo baby. she just read the tale of the champion very wide-eyed

she wants cassandra to approve of her so bad. was definitely not lying about not having heard the saving-divine-beatrix-from-dragons story in order to hear it from the woman herself and definitely did not go into an “oh maker i lied to a seeker” panic after

i didn’t expect her to care that much about blackwall but her mother being a warden changes things a lot. microdosing on my absent mother’s approval by having literally any warden say they like me. he makes her feel safe

a bit nervous around the iron bull, they just met and haven’t fought together yet. free marchers and ostwick in particular have a lot of anxiety abt the qunari so i don’t imagine she’s ever heard much good, but as always she’s also painfully curious

suuuuper intimidated by vivienne. very respectful to her

sera is such a shock compared to everything she knows and the way people usually talk in her presence and she’s also pretty and bea is a little uncertain what to do about any of this

was wary of dorian on first meeting but i think she’ll be pretty close with him after the whole in hushed whispers thing, i see that being a strong friendship. which is interesting i don’t normally bring him out much but gay rich kids who love books flock together ig

[handittothefandom]

Red, White and Royal Blue Headcannons

- Alex falls asleep with his glasses on, Henry takes them off

- LIGHTSABER BATTLES

- Alex knows EXACTLY how many moles Henry has

- Henry asks June if proposing on New Year’s is cliche

- The both have their pronouns in social media bios

- The first time Alex actually spoke spanish in front of Henry he had to sit down

- David spends a lot of nights laying in Alex’s knees and Henry isn’t sure if his dog stoled his boyfriend or if his boyfriend stoled his dog

- “I love you” “That’s gay” “Alex I am quite literally gay”

- Henry is always playing with Alex’s hair and Alex is always playing with Henry’s hands

- The next time they go to the lake Alex jokes about how Henry better not run away this time

- Alex is always stressed and tries to play off his panic attacks by joking, Henry holds his hands in his and sits with him until he breathes

- Ellen refers to Henry as her favorite son

- They smash so much cake in each others faces at their wedding

- Alex has a tattoo only Henry has seen

- Alex wears makeup for their first pride, seeing him and those damn eyelashes with mascara leave Henry unable to talk when he looks at him for the whole day

- You bet your ass Henry always buys Alex yellow roses on their anniversary

- Bea tells Alex that their dad would have really loved him

- Henry ends up so obsessed with Alex because he’s the first person who didn’t pretend to love him for someone he wasn’t

- Henry has a super specific skin care routine, and even wears a headband while he does it, Alex washes his face with bar soap and it makes Henry so mad “You really don’t do anything and look that good”

- When they’re together Alex rubs Henry’s back till he falls asleep, when they’re apart they having matching teddy bears they sleep with and Alex calls and reads to Henry on really bad night

- “you might be the prince of whales but you are the king of my heart”

- One night Alex is putting their kids to sleep and Henry over hears him telling their love story as a bed time story, “Sometimes you’re wrong and that’s okay because when I admitted I was wrong it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me”

- Alex is obsessed with matching Halloween costumes

- Henry definitely calls him princess

- Henry dedicates his first book to Alex

- Alex is very ticklish to Henry’s advantages

this list is only gonna get longer but here

Also if you like any of these and want to write a whole fic please do, send me a link when you’re done

[butternutsquashthesenutz]

RWRB hcs probably pt. 1-

•After they get married everyone (mostly June and Nora) started calling Alex princess. Like, "shut up, princess"

•Henry has read MANY fanfics and written several of his own. This includes a secret five chapter story about him and Alex that stays hidden in the depths of his computer

•I know Taylor Swift is a controversial topic in this fandom, but you cannot tell me Henry "queer historian, writer, and dramatic gay boy" would not jam out to and cry over ts songs alone in his room

•David loves cuddling with Alex, and Henry calls him a traitor, but really he finds it adorable

•Alex has definitely brought some feral animal home that he found on the street hoping to save it and raise it as a pet, and then Henry made him give it to the shelter and he cried all night

•June and Nora get a cat. That's it. They're just cat moms

•When Pez, June, and Nora are all in the same place, they are most likely gonna sleep together

•Phillip gets better and he and Henry are able to work on mending their relationship after Mary dies and neither of them have to deal with her manipulation and abuse

•Alex posts lots of thirst traps, and Henry dies every time

•Alex calls Henry lots of pet names I'm Spanish, and also just in general talks to him a lot in Spanish. Henry has very low understanding of what Alex is saying for the first couple years, but he still melts

•Henry eventually tries to learn Spanish and after a while he can carry a conversation. Oscar often makes fun of his pronunciation though

•Alex is an apple user Henry is an android user. They argue about it often

•Alex's shit got rocked when Hamilton came out. He saw it 10 times

•They continue to have a New Year's party for several years after Ellen leaves office.

•They have a daughter and a son, the son is Henry and June's biologically, and the daughter's Alex and Bea's biologically. Both are referred to as aunt though. Also they used IVF not sex, just to be clear.

•When Alex turns 35, a petition is spread around social media trying to get him to run for president. It gets double the needed signatures, but he doesn't end up running.

•Alex usually tops, but not always. Henry is usually more dominant though.

•I know in cannon Bea gets married to someone (presumably a man) but I hc that she's also gay and meets a girl whose picking her friend up from and na meeting. (Idk, I have a whole story set out for Bea's love life)

•Not really a hc, but Henry has def ridden Alex while wearing a cowboy hat

•Pez always buys the children of the super six super lavish and expensive gifts when ever he visits, and becomes the favorite of the aunts and uncles

•After their first fight once married, Alex has a huge panic attack thinking they won't make it together, but Henry calms him down and it doesn't happen again

•Zhara and Shaan have a daughter who is the scariest little girl in the world. Alex is legitimately scared to get on her bad side.

•David has his own insta account and he has many photos in little outfits

•Henry and Alex write letters to each other every time one of them has to go somewhere for work, just for old times sake

•Henry's first novel absolutely kills all the queer teens, and is basically that universe's RWRB

•Alex often steals Henry's Jaffa cakes and won't ever admit it. Henry knows, and he finds it adorable

•Ever so often Alex will get super into some new topic and do loads of research, and write essays or make presentations on it and then share it with Henry so he can teach him everything he now knows.

•Lowkey canon, but Henry's a Maurauders era fan

•He's also a Tumblr girly and has had a secret blog for years

•The super six do slideshow nights, here's an example of one of those nights: Henry: People from History You Didn't Know Where Queer, Nora: The Statistical Likelihood of Each of Us Releasing a Rap Album, Pez: Rating Everyone's Exes, Bea: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Henry I Can Think of, Alex: Hottest Politicians Around the World, June: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Alex I Can Think of (Her and Bea worked together)

•Occasionally Henry will use an American term (like saying chips when he meant crisps) and Alex will use a British term (like jumper instead of sweater), and both get very upset when it happens (whoever didn't slip up finds it hilarious)

•They joke around whenever a gossip site releases an article about their relationship, like, "oh look, I've apparently left you and headed back to England after you cheated on me" "oh, good for you, that was a rude thing for me to do"

[lonelyneuronaboard]

When Bea finally gets rid of all the gay panic & catholic guilt and starts to go full throttle with the love/darling/sweetheart in THAT accent?

Game over for Ava and us.

[foryourmajesty]

love it when Bea's brain goes on full gay panic mode

[firstprince-ao3feed]

The Boy With the Silver Platter

by catnip_coffee Alexander Claremont-Diaz took up a brief position at Kensington Palace as waitstaff. Henry is the prince who can't keep his eyes off the new member he's never seen before. He's thinking "that is the most beautiful boy I have ever seen", but is reminded to keep his distance. The prince has never eaten more poor excuses for appetizers in his life. Words: 4521, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: AU, Henry's 18th birthday, Waiter Alex AU, Waiter Alex, Prince Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Alex's parents are both Senators, Kissing, Flirting, Gay Disaster Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Gay Panic, Gay Male Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Disaster Alex Claremont-Diaz, Model Alex, No Storming of Kensington Palace (Red White & Royal Blue), Teen Crush, Teen AU, Alex is a waiter at Henry's birthday, Mutual Pining, mutual flirting, Alex lives in Paris, mildly beta'd, Shaan mentioned, Bea mentioned, Philip mentioned - Freeform, King James mentioned, Catherine mentioned, Arthur mentioned - Freeform, Ellen and Oscar mentioned, light mourning, POV Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor via https://ift.tt/98Dspqv

[hore4women]

Camila: Uh-ohhhh, someone has a crushhhhh.

Ava: I do not have a crush! It’s not like I stay awake at night, thinking about Bea.

*at night, sleeping RIGHT NEXT TO Beatrice. Ava laying there, staring at the ceiling in gay panic.*

Ava:

Ava: *starts blushing* Uh-oh.

[kneelbeforeyourdogbabylon]

Chapter 3 of Sins of Knowledge is up!

Chaptered fic (3/12?), WIP, posting every other week

Here Come the Man with a Look in His Eye

Rated Explicit

CW/TW and tags: sex pollen/dubcon, ethical concerns, coercion, blackmail, human AU, university AU, more tags and notes at AO3

Biggest thanks to the usual suspects, @cheeseplants and @gaiaseyes451 for the stellar and thoughtful beta! You two are fantastic ❤️ also thanks to the @goodomensafterdark writers for being all around super supports and the best goblins anywhere ❤️‍🔥

Chapter Summary:

When last we left them, Crowley and Aziraphale had been discovered in flagrante-ish, or least in somno (...after flagrante) by Shax and Hastur. (At least they had their pants on? Mostly?) They meet the man behind the lab. Extortion ensues. Aziraphale attends Crowley’s class and does science badly, Crowley experiences some odd perceptions, and the next formula is ready to be tested. Also we may have gone from the rapid-fire burn of last chapter to a bunch of cool coals. Oh, dear.

See AO3 for full work summary and tags!

Excerpt:

Something was welling up in Crowley like a giant balloon. Was it hope? Relief? It was heady and huge. He remembered the word angel burning in his mouth, and the glow of Aziraphale’s forehead. Could it be that once in his life Crowley had actually judged someone accurately? And that someone had also judged him and found him to be something other than treacherous? “I did bring you over to Ashbury in the first place,” he reminded Aziraphale.

A tiny smile flickered over Aziraphale’s face. “Are you trying to convince me of your guilt?”

“No. I just – no.”

“Fine. Good. I’m still going to audit your course. You can still audit mine as well, if you like. Not sure what to do with this independent study nonsense, though.” 

“I could help. I’ve set up loads for Bea, they have me work with masters’ students on it.”

“No, I’ll speak to Ana.” Aziraphale looked as though he were steeling himself, and then in a rush, he said: “I just want to be clear. I don’t want to do that again.”

And just like that, wheeeeee the balloon punctured. “Okay,” said Crowley. “That, meaning…”

“What we’ve been captured doing on live and uncensored late night camera. I mean. I’m not sure what will happen next with this absolute madman playing God and apparently no consequences, but I don’t want – “ Aziraphale sighed. “That wasn’t me. I don’t do that.”

“What,” Crowley said unkindly, “sleep with blokes? A little late in life for panic, eh? Maybe I’m the one who should be asking about STIs, you know studies have shown closeted gays are just as promiscuous if not more so — ”

“Oh fuck off, you know what I mean,” Aziraphale snapped. “I’m not in the closet. I meant I don’t sleep with people like that, like you.” 

Oooh, this just got better and better. Crowley couldn’t help smiling a bit even as his chest constricted. “Like me. What, sexy?”

Aziraphale put a hand to his temple. “Bloody hell. Yes, I despise giving head to sexy men.”

His lips still looked soft, as soft and warm and wet as they’d felt when he’d kissed Crowley’s belly, bent down and closed them over the head of Crowley’s cock. Crowley gulped. What had he been about to say? Something smart. Quick, say something smart. “Big apologies. I am what I am.”

“I forgive you,” Aziraphale said, with so much sarcasm that it practically deluged the quad. 

“Ahhhh. You’re one of those pining-for-ages types, then. In love from afar and all that.” Crowley couldn’t stop, his mouth had taken something smart and launched into the void. “Distance makes the cock grow harder. Wanking every night, wishing and hoping.”

Aziraphale flushed deeper at each word. Crowley stuck his knuckles between his teeth to shut himself up. He wanted to curl into Aziraphale, press his mouth against the heady warmth of that blood rising beneath the skin. He settled for scooting around on the bench, stretching his legs.

[raogrhysc]

Bea in gay panic mode