#gay engineering student brainrotting over fictional gay engineers in love

[boredompaw]

Jayvik fanfic recs, but make them all sad

(major character death sad)

"Time was never kind to him, but now, it had stopped his labor on what couldn’t be looked at...and started attacking what everybody was seeing, carving his traits, adding fine lines on his face as if he was a sculpture, painting his hair, tinting them with white as if it was a canvas, making art out of his damaged body, a walking oeuvre for the world to see."

Sorry for the long quote, I had a very hard time trying to pick a quote from this fic because I absolutely ADORE everything about it, every single line. The author is Silekim, and while they state that english is not their first langauge it's honestly better than anything I could produce with english as a first language. The premise of the fic is an aged up Viktor (45 in here I believe) who is reflecting on his life so far, especially through the lens of his battle with his terminal illness. Full disclosure, all the fics I have on here either suggest character death or have character death. So. Yeah. It's all hurt/no comfort. I like that kind of thing. The writing style of the piece is lovely, where each sentence has this really delicate cadence and flow to the sentences, where they just bleed into one another. The author really manages to set a very lonely melancholic atmosphere. It makes me think of locking yourself in a room with a window and seeing the sky slowly fade from dusk into night as you contemplate your own mortality. I also think the author really managed to capture Viktor and Jayce's distinct personalities through the narration and also through the brief bits of dialogue. It's quite potent and portrays the pain and nostalgia of a time far gone really really well. Anyways you should definitely check this one out if nothing else. You won't regret it, and if you like sad things like me, you'll probably enjoy it. I'm also in the process of drafting a comic spread for this fic because I love it so much hehe maybe look out for it some time in the future. Maybe not too soon because college app deadlines be rolling around but whatever.

"Viktor is gone, they tell him. Viktor is gone and you were not enough to stop it. Their voices sound, a dead man’s chorus. It’s only gotten worse since he’s stepped inside."

Neon_Sunset's fic is written from Jayce's POV as he has to sort through Viktor's things, and discovers a set of unsent letters. The reason for this? Viktor is dead. It's a quick snapshot of fresh grief, made worse by being surrounded by the possessions of a lost loved one. While the writing itself does not read as lyrically as the fic above, it's still a wonderfully heartwrenching read. It's about 2k words, so it's a fast one as well, but it still packs a punch.

In the letters Viktor leaves behind, they're addressed to three different characters, each with their own perspective. The insights are brief and leave a hunger for more-- that's what makes them hurt: the words left unsaid and never to be known again, things words could never truly convey to those left behind.

The author's writing also conveys a strong sense of Viktor, despite him not being there. That's the point of the setting, which takes place mostly in Viktor's apartment. The descriptions of the setting are laced with tiny little details of personality which aren't much by themselves, but through Jayce's lens and the reader's knowledge of the backstory, it creates a portrait of Viktor, albeit without him actually there.

If you're looking for something to make you feel something, but not tear your heart out completely, I'd say this is good choice for 3-5 minutes of painful entertainment! Go read it and give the author some love~

"'Please,...please. Let it be on my own terms. Not—not hooked up to machines in some hospital room. If you love me, at least allow me this one dignity. Do this for me.'"

Alright, here me out. I've already plugged this one like twice already, but a) it's great and deserves more love and b) I want a list of these in one place, one post, so suck it.

Moving on, I want to say I've reread it too many times and love the shit out of this fic. It's not too long, but one aspect I love about it was how the author chose to intersperse the paragraphs with "letters" from physicians and otherwise. It's hard to describe, you kind of have to check out the link, and not on mobile. It doesn't show up properly formatted on mobile :/ The letters add a certain elegance to the fic, where it conveys the passage of time and changes to Viktor's health through the view of a third party without detracting from the focus of the piece: Jayce and Viktor's relationship.

We get to see how in the background, the pair of them search with mounting desperation and declining hope for a cure to Viktor's illness. The letters' impersonal remarks and recommendations for Viktor serve to highlight the brief snapshots of interactions we get to see of the two. You can tangibly feel the pain Jayce feels as he watches his partner waste away, lose his dignity, and everything he's worked for, while Jayce is incapable of doing anything to ease Viktor's suffering.

It's something that's all too easy to relate to and feel within your core, especially if you've been there to experience parents/grandparents or family members who have gone through the same kind of ordeal.

Coming back to the fic, fear not! While it's one of those hurt/no comfort, the ending is also a beautiful little thing, wrapping up the fic to end on a slightly hopeful note. Overall a great quick read, 100/10 would recommend! This and "time was never kind" are my favs hehe

i mean i would also try to draw this out in comic form but break's closing and while they say a picture paints a thousand words, i honestly feel this one's better conveyed in words, and my art skills are definitely not up to par for drawing faces with different emotions than "neutral pout"

"Nothing, nothing but the stench of sick-sweat and blood, harsh and acidic and stinging eyes, his nose. Nothing but the cold skin beneath his fingertips, still as the grave, hours dead"

A very very very quick fic about an emotionally charged moment. One that passes as fast as it comes-- although the grief is sure to linger. While there's not much in terms of plot, I thought the little descriptions were heart wrenching and atmospheric. It's made especially real since it's written based loosely off the author's own personal experience. Give them a little love and condolences~

WOOhoo finished after a whole day of grinding jesus. I need to do my work but I couldn't start until now because I need to appease the monkey brain that screams for arcane content every day before I can start being productive.