#ganger doctor x reader

[stardustandmeteors]

❝i hate goodbye's...❞ | 11th doctor x gn! reader & ganger! 11th doctor x gn! reader

pairing: the doctor & the reader | ganger! doctor x gn! reader

summary: the doctor has to leave his best friend on Earth for reasons unknown to them, and it sets a whole slew of emotions tumbling out their mouth, but he knew that it wasn't him that they loved.

warning: angst with a happy ending (for y/n, sorry doc).

y/n stood in front of the man they had grown to love, the frown on his face telling them everything they needed to know. What had they done to make him look at them with a look like that?

"doctor...?" The young adult asked, feeling their eyes become moist with their unshed tears. "... Have I done something wrong...?" They asked, afraid of what his answer might be. Had they really done something so bad the doctor was putting them back where he found them.

He ignored their question, his gaze looking anywhere but them. Then, after a beat, he caught their gaze, his own eyes caught the e/c color he'd always loved. There were unshed tears gathered at the corner of them. They could hear the crackling and loud bangs of the thunder and lightning, both being drowned out by their holding stare. The TARDIS was behind the bow tie wearing man, tall and ominous as it always was.

He sighed, his voice wavering as the salty tears streamed down his cheeks, mixing with the heavy rain the two had stood in. "Why... Why..." He whimpered, grabbing at his hair, a pained sob rippled through his lips.

"doctor." They took a cautious step towards him, but he shied away.

"why does it always have to end this way?" He asked no one in particular, remembering his times with Donna before he had to erase her memories of him. Why did this always have to happen to him? Every person he comes into contact with either dies or he has to leave them. Why couldn't he have one thing? Why wouldn't the universe grant him this one thing?

"doctor, you're scaring me." They spoke, looking at him with concern, "what's happening?" He caught her gaze again, his eyes tired with exhaustion.

"I'm sorry y/n..." He said, remembering the exact words y/n had said to him years ago, when he first regenerated into this face, and way before he lost Amy and Rory. They were smiling at him, their hand clasped tightly in his as they both watched the married couple snowball fight. It had been Christmas that year and the four of them decided to battle it out with the snow. Rory and the doctor vs y/n and Amy, but it had turned into a war between the husband and wife. Laughter was all the two heard.

"how long are you going to stay with me?" He had asked them. It gave him a sense of deja vu. They looked up and smiled.

"Forever." The sincerity of their words made his heart swell, for they were the exact words Rose told him. He looked at them, to see they were watching Rory and Amy having fun, a smile on their face. The love they felt for y/n was Rose all over again, he would lose them too, and he'd be heartbroken.

"Sorry?" They asked, "I don't... I don't understand." They said, tears falling down their own cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, this time it was clearer. He wiped his tear stained face away, "I wasn't fast enough to save him." He told them. y/n looked at him with sorrow, but masked it with confusion.

"doctor, you're not making sense. There has never been anybody else but you." They said, the next words tumbling out with how much raw emotion they held, "I love you, please. I love you." The words tumbled from their lips. He knew that they hadn't meant it towards him.

"Stop." He said, turning to the TARDIS and walking towards it with slow steps, with his head down. y/n went to go after him, just as he opened the doors. Was he gonna leave them, here, on the streets in the rain? "You can come out now," he said solemnly, holding the door open, y/n stopped their chase, eyes widening when they landed on a familiar face. He wore the same outfit that he'd had when they first met after he was accidentally cloned by the Flesh.

"hello." Was his first response, the doctor leaned against the wall of the TARDIS, his arms crossed and his eyes watched both of them, his hearts aching. y/n's tears fell harder as they broke into a run, the Ganger doing the exact thing, catching them with his arms and lifting them up off the ground and spun them around, a happy laugh leaving his lips.

"how? How are you alive?" he put them down as they put their hands on his cheeks, feeling his skin, "I saw you melt from the sonic. You died," they whimpered, their tears still running down their face.

"the doctor," he looked from them and to the hurting man, who gave them both a small smile, "he saved me. Made me again, so we could be together again, my love." The Ganger said, looking back lovingly at them. y/n turned their head to the doctor, a sad smile on their face. He kicked off the wall, stopping far from the two.

"I can't grow old with you y/n, but he can. He'll give you a life you deserve. One that I can't," the doctor admitted to her, as she got out of the Gangers arms to step forward a bit, with concern. "Don't give me that look, okay." He chuckled darkly "I'm sorry I couldn't save him sooner," he said.

"doctor... I do care about you, you know that, don't you?" They asked, the Ganger watching with a frown. Why was it so hard to watch?

"but not love. I know, and I care about you just as deeply, and i want you to be happy. With someone who can give you a chance," he said, his hand now resting against the cool TARDIS door. The rain has finally stopped, leaving them in their cold and wet clothes, but they didn't care. The Ganger doctor walked up beside them, and took their hand in his and brought it up to his lips to kiss it softly. He sighed, bowing his head, "I hate goodbyes," he said.

"then don't think of this as a goodbye, doctor. Think of it as a "hello"." The Ganger said, smiling at him. The doctor returned it sadly.

"will we ever see you again doctor?" They asked. He looked at them.

"the universe is a big place. But I'm certain our paths will cross again." And then he entered the TARDIS, the door closing as the machine started to disappear right before them. The Ganger doctor wrapped an arm around their shoulder, and gently guided them around, their own arm wrapping around his waist as they started their trek down the street.

The Ganger leaned slightly down to their ear, whispering the name not many would know, and y/n was one of the lucky souls in the universe who would know. They stopped, fresh tears running down their cheeks as they turned in his arms, before pulling his head to them, softly kissing his lips.

Hopefully, the Universe would give the doctor a chance. Just one chance, so he's not alone anymore. y/n wished nothing more than to see her best friend happy. And in return, he gave her someone to be happy with, even if it wasn't him.

So, how was the angst? I'm not the best at it, but I hope I did pretty well, especially referencing Rose T-T the doctor just can't seem to be happy, not even in little fanfics, my poor baby. Does anyone have a recommendation of the doctor angst?

[hauntingcryptids]

I’m Not Him 

Ganger!Doctor x Reader

Summary - You liked The Doctor, but he didn’t feel the same way about you. What will happen when you meet his Ganger again?

Based On This Request -

Warnings - references to character death, sadness

Word Count - 1772

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. I posted this request over on my old Tumblr account and I just wanted to repost it on here.

------------------------------------------------------------

You walked, curiously and trepidatiously, around the halls and corners of The TARDIS. For the past couple of days, you heard The Doctor rummaging around the ship, and you finally decided to investigate. He would do stuff like this often, rummaging and making tons of noise, but not for this long of a time. He was definitely up to something.

The Doctor had avoided everyone since the events of Demon’s Run and it was beginning to scare you, more than the fact that he was secretly planning something behind your back. You had heard stories from Madame Vastra and River that The Doctor had a history of shutting down after extremely eye-opening or sorrowful events, but you had never seen him act like this yourself. You didn’t know how to react to him acting like this.

You had been left behind at Demon’s Run along with Amy, Rory, and River, and River eventually took all of you home with her vortex manipulator. Soon after you were getting used to being at home, though, The Doctor showed up at your doorstep. He said that it had been a while since he had seen you and he was excited for you to see what he had planned. You were excited, too, at the moment, but now you were just scared. 

The Doctor Had not picked up Amy and Rory yet, but River invited herself into the TARDIS constantly. She added to The Doctor’s rummaging and whispering around the ship. You wondered what they were doing, but then you figured that you might not want to know. 

However, one thought continued to plague your mind, and that was why The Doctor brought you back onto The TARDIS in the first place, especially without Amy and Rory. You had joined the couple after The Doctor ran into you on one of his private adventures that he would go on when he couldn’t sleep and stayed ever since. Your life on The TARDIS was much more exciting than your life on Earth and you didn’t want to stay on that planet any longer. But everything that led up to today was making you worried that your time exploring the Universe was ending.

The Doctor randomly jumped out from a corridor with his spacey wacey goggles hanging around his neck. You jumped and shrieked from the shock while The Doctor profusely apologised. He placed both of his hands on your shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly.

“Y/n, I have something very exciting to show you!” You barely mumbled a still shocked “okay” before The Doctor quickly grabbed your hand and lead you towards a room you had never seen before. It was dark, with only a couple of dim, orangy-yellowy lights glowing on the walls, making the whole situation stranger. You could see through the dim lighting that there was a mechanised tub similar to the machine you saw at Saint John's Base. You remembered that trip well, it was shocking and emotional, but you could not put the pieces The Doctor was feeding you together. 

“Doctor, I don’t understand. What is all of this?”

“What does it look like? I’m fulfilling my promise and proving my theory correct.” The Doctor moved to fiddle with a few wires and tubes, making sure that they were all set.

“Your Ganger?” You questioned The Doctor, still confused.

“John Smith, yes!” The alien before you briefly stopped what he was doing to exclaim what he thought was obvious. Before getting back to checking to see if everything was in order.

“You’re bringing him back? Why?” The Doctor finally stopped fiddling with the machine to look at you confused.

“For you, of course!” You questioned what he meant by that. 

“I saw how the two of you became very close that day. I thought that I might bring him back for you.” The Doctor looked slightly sad, and you didn’t know why. 

“I thought he was you back then.” You weren’t lying, but you did like The Doctor’s Ganger, he seemed to care about you more than The Doctor, who seemed to only have eyes for Amy and River.

“After you found out, the two of you still became very close. I just don’t like you being alone, Y/n.” You were shocked by The Doctor’s reveal and didn’t know what to say to all of this information. You were going to tell The Doctor to wait, give you time to think if this is actually what you wanted, but he already started the machine. 

The tub filled itself with a formula, and then the liquid moulded and formed into The Doctor’s Ganger. Both of you and The Doctor watched curiously as all of this was happening. Suddenly, The Ganger!Doctor’s eyes popped open, and he screamed loudly in pain. He curled into a fetal position while clutching his head. The Doctor went to check if everything was okay on the scans and computers in the corner monitoring everything. 

You joined The Doctor to watch the computers as well, but then out of the corner of your eye, you saw The Ganger!Doctor jumping up out of the tub. He seemed perfectly fine despite the pain he was in a moment ago.

“Ah! I’m back!” He stated cheerfully, adjusting his red bowtie.

Your mouth fell open in shock after looking at The Ganger!Doctor in the eye. You didn’t know what to do or say. Your breath began to quicken, and your head started to hurt. So, you quickly turned to walk back to your room. 

You were so confused. A jumble of emotions ran through your head, and you couldn’t really focus on any of them for a long time. You liked The Doctor, you had for a long time, but you never let yourself love him. You were well aware of The Doctor’s relationship with River, and you were happy for them both, but it did sting your heart a bit because you had no one. The Doctor and River had each other and Amy and Rory had each other, and you wanted someone, too. Now The Doctor was giving you his Ganger. The possibility of not being alone was right before you, but you couldn’t help but run away.

It was true, you did like the Ganger!Doctor when you first met him. But it felt as if you were being pawned off by The Doctor. You were now angry. You couldn’t help but feel like this “gift” was bittersweet because even though The Doctor was being kind, he would never understand why it hurt. And you felt so sad for The Ganger!Doctor. He never did anything wrong and kept getting hurt in the process. You didn’t really know what feeling to prioritise and you just needed to be alone.

After spending a couple of hours doing everything but thinking about what just happened, you finally accepted that The Ganger!Doctor was back, and he was here for you. You were grateful that The Doctor thought of you, despite the questionable act. And you really did want to get to know The Ganger!Doctor on a personal level and outside of an adventure. You considered going out and trying to talk to the Ganger!Doctor, but a sudden knock on your door drew you out of your thoughts. You spoke a quiet “come in” and readjusted the work you were doing off of your lap.

“Hello …” It was the Ganger!Doctor, lingering in the doorway. Normally you probably wouldn’t be able to tell, but he was wearing the same thing he was wearing before, and you didn’t think that The Doctor would clean all of The TARDIS grease off of his clothes and face that quickly.

“Hello,” You responded bittersweetly.

“Hello …” The Ganger!Doctor repeated himself, and you could tell that he cursed himself in his head because of the disgruntled face he made.

“May I come in?” You nodded and motioned for him to join you on the floor where you were sitting. You would always sit on the floor when you needed to think hard about something. The two of you sat there for a long time in silence. There was a weird tension that you couldn’t really describe. But the pair of you continued to catch each other's eyes and then quickly look away. The Ganger!Doctor began patting his knees with his hands anxiously.

“I’m not really him, you know.” The Ganger!Doctor suddenly spoke up quietly, with his voice tinted with sadness.

“What do you mean?” You finally looked into The Ganger!Doctor’s eyes for longer than a couple of seconds.

“I have all of The Doctor’s memories and I obviously look like him, but I’m my own person with my own thoughts and opinions. I don’t see you the same way he does.” You could see how sad he was and how much he just wanted to be seen as himself.

“I’m sorry for assuming that you were, especially after the events of Saint John’s Base. I guess it was just the shock of everything.” The Ganger!Doctor nodded at your statement, but you could see how solemn he still was.

“I’ll try to be better.” You tried to smile, but it was still bittersweet. So, you reached out to hold The Ganger!Doctor’s hand. He squeezed your hand tightly as if he was shocked that you were actually touching him and worried that you would let go too soon.

“I don’t want you to be better, I just want you to be yourself.” You nodded in understanding and both of you fell back into silence, but you continued to hold each other's hands.

“What do you want to be called?” You asked suddenly. The Ganger!Doctor quirked his head to the side in thought and fiddled with his bowtie with his free hand.

“John Smith is a decent name, at least until I come up with a more unique name. Does John Smith sound like a good name to be paired with a Stetson?”

“Yeah, I think it does!” You laughed at his cute question and genuinely smiled at the now John Smith.

“I’ll stick with John Smith then!” He smiled back at you widely causing you to giggle. You really did like seeing him smile so happily. 

Far into the night, the pair of you continued to talk and giggle and laugh. You told wide stories about your adventures and you both told interesting facts about yourselves. Unbeknownst to you, The Doctor grinned bittersweetly from your open door frame, happy that you were finally happy and not alone.

[abbygrabska]

11th Doctor x reader x Ganger!Doctor Threesome Smut

this was a request from my ao3

It’s strange, there being two Doctors. One is a Ganger, a clone, the other is the real Doctor.

You really couldn’t tell which was which, that was somewhat alarming.

You kept glancing between the two, trying to find subtle differences to figure out which one was really him.

Your glances came to an end when one of the two went off with Amy and Rory.

“I don’t know.” The Doctor in the room with you chuckles lowly.

You turn your head to him, “Hmm?”

“I don’t know how he can stand to be in the same room as you.” He speaks, walking towards you slowly.

“What does that mean?” You back away from him, until you hit the wall.

He leans down and grabs your chin, making you look at him, “Look at you… So unaware of how much he wants you…”

“What are you talking about?”

His free hand strokes from your lower thigh up to your waist, “You really have no clue, do you?” His eyes darken, slotting his body between your thighs, arms caging you in.

“What are you doing?” You ask fearfully.

“Showing you how he feels about you.” He smirks, leaning in to kiss you.

The door opens, and he pulls away from your face.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” The Doctor stalks up to his double quickly, pulling him away from you completely, “You may look like me but you sure aren’t me.”

The Ganger smirks, “You’re right, I’m not scared to go after what you want.” He glances at you.

The Doctor’s face pales.

“Doctor, what does he mean?”

He doesn’t answer you, glaring at the Ganger, “She is off limits to you.”

“I think you’re forgetting we’re the same. We have the same face, same thoughts, same urges. And since you won’t tell her, I will…” He trails off, turning to face you, “He fancies you. Can’t stop wondering what it would be like to kiss you. You wouldn’t believe how many times he’s got off to the thought of you coming undone on top of him.”

Your face flushes, snapping your head to look at the Doctor, he looks furious, ready to kill.

He grabs his Ganger by the jacket, pushing him against the wall, “You have no right to say that to her, to tell her that.”

“Well, it’s not like you were ever gonna do it.” He grins, “Besides it’s not like she doesn’t like it.” The Ganger turns the Doctor’s face to look at you.

You are staring at the both of them, wide-eyed and flushed in the face, thighs clenched.

“See the way her thighs clench together?” The Ganger coos, “Imagine the way they’d feel around your head as you—“

The Doctor chokes him, “You do not get to talk about her like that!”

“Why don’t we ask her?” The Ganger hisses out, looking at you, “You like this don’t you darling? Want his hands wrapped around your throat?” His eyes flicker down to your clenched thighs. You rub them together, nodding shyly.

The Doctor stares at you, “D-do you really want that?”

You nod, licking your lips.

He lets go of the Ganger’s throat and walks up to you.

The Doctor strokes his fingers over the column of your throat, watching your pupils dilate and a whimper escape your lips.

The Ganger pushes himself away from the wall and peers at you over the Doctor’s shoulder, “See how good of a girl she is?” He coos, “Why don’t you wrap your hands around her pretty little throat?”

You whimper at his words, the Doctor wraps a hand around your throat, and a breathy moan escapes your lips.

“Hear that? Such a needy little girl, just wants someone to take control and fuck her senseless, huh?”

You nod.

The Doctor’s breath hitches in his throat, his grip tightening on your own.

“See? She needs it, badly. Why don’t you give in for once? Take what you want.” The Ganger whispers into his ear.

You nod along with him, “Please Doctor.”

He swallows, looking into your eyes, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You whisper.

He leans in, pressing his lips to yours.

You sigh against his mouth, reaching your hands up to go through his hair, only to be stopped when a pair of hands pin them above your head.

“Ooh, naughty girl, trying to touch without permission.” The Ganger tuts.

The Doctor breaks the kiss to look at him, “What should we do with her?”

The Ganger ponders something for a moment before a smirk graces his lips, “Spank her.”

The Doctor nods in agreement, letting go of your throat.

The Ganger lets go of your wrists, “Strip.”

You nod, unbuttoning your shorts, and pulling them down. You undo your shoes and pull them off so you can take your shorts off.

The Doctor licks his lips, “Top too.”

You hesitate, the Ganger doesn’t like that.

He stands in front of you and pulls your shirt up, revealing your bare breasts, “Oh? Going without a bra, in front of everyone? How naughty.” He pinches your left nipple, enjoying the yelp you let out, “Now take your panties off too.”

You take your shirt off and slide your underwear down your legs.

The Doctor stares at you, memorizing every inch of bare skin, beckoning you forward with a motion of his hand.

You step towards him, looking up at him through your lashes.

He takes hold of your throat again, pulling your body flush against his, the Ganger comes up from behind and grabs your ass.

You shudder.

“How many spanks should we give her, hmm?” The Ganger asks.

“Ten.” The Doctor answers.

“You heard him, sweetie, now count.” The Ganger smirks, before striking the first time.

“One.” You whimper.

His hands soothe your skin before he spanks you again.

“Two.”

You’re dripping wet by the time it stops.

The Ganger notices, sliding his hand through your folds, sucking the slick off of his fingers, “Divine.”

The Doctor looks at him, “Better than we thought?”

“Much.” The Doctor’s eyes darken, and his free hand slides between your thighs, pressing his thumb against your clit and rubbing lightly.

You suck in a deep breath.

The Ganger’s hands join in, stroking and caressing your thighs.

The Doctor’s grip tightens around your throat, kissing you roughly.

His thumb rubs harder and rougher against you, two of his fingers delving into your wetness.

You moan into his mouth, he pulls away to look into your eyes.

Your breathing picks up as his fingers thrust in and out.

His eyes bore into yours, bringing you to the edge of orgasm before he stops his movements.

You almost cry, he smirks at you.

The Ganger’s arms wrap around your waist, pulling you against him as the Doctor tightens his grip.

Fingers rub at your clit, and a mouth goes onto your breast, nipping and sucking.

You can feel the coil tightening in your stomach again, you pray to whatever deity is out there to let you cum.

It doesn’t work, the hand pulls away again.

The hand at your throat disappears.

You watch the Doctor kneel in front of you and spread your legs apart, hiking your thighs over his shoulders before he looks up at you with a smirk, “You’re going to be a good girl and cum on my tongue, maybe then I’ll let you cum on my cock.”

With that, he buries his face into your cunt.

He sucks at your clit and thrusts his tongue into your sopping hole.

His fingers soon join his mouth, entering your hole slowly.

You gasp at the feeling.

He thrusts his fingers in and out of you, slowly at first, but speeding up to match with the movements of his tongue.

A coil of pleasure starts to tighten in the pit of your stomach, you pant loudly.

“Doctor!” You moan out, going to grab at his hair only for your arms to be restrained by the Ganger.

“What did I say about touching without permission?”

“I’m sorry, please let me touch!” You whimper.

Your hips buck against the Doctor’s face as you chase your orgasm.

“Hmm…” The Ganger thinks for a moment, “No.”

You whine, “I’m so close.”

“Oh, are you?”

You nod.

“Beg.”

“Doctor, please let me cum, I’ll be a good girl I promise! I need it so bad!” You nearly scream.

His ministrations speed up, and his eyes bore into yours.

“Then cum. Cum for us.” The Ganger orders, pinching your nipples.

You do, crying out as your walls tighten around the Doctors’ fingers, body writhing at the intensity.

The Doctors fingers fuck you through your orgasm, until you try and squirm away from him.

He stops, letting your legs drop from his shoulders, and standing up.

The Ganger lets go of your arms and you slump to the floor.

You get on your knees and a hand grips your face.

“We’re not done with you yet.” The Ganger smirks, undoing his pants with one hand.

You whimper, pressing your thighs together.

The Doctor pulls you up, already naked.

He spreads your thighs apart and hooks his arms under your knees.

His hard length is resting against your cunt.

The Ganger grabs his own length, pumping slowly as he walks up to you.

He shares a look with the Doctor, smirking.

The Doctor guides his cock to your hole, just the tip resting inside.

The Ganger presses his cock to your hole as well, and together they push inside.

You cry out, trying to escape their grasp only for the Ganger to wrap his hand around your throat.

“Such a tight cunt, it can barely fit both of us.” The Ganger bucks his hips slightly, causing you to let out a sob, “Does it hurt?”

You nod, tears brimming your eyes.

He pouts before smirking, grip tightening on your throat, “Too bad.”

The two bully their way into your pussy, until they both bottom out.

Tears escape your eyes at the intensity.

“Feel that?” The Ganger asks, caressing your lower stomach, where a bulge resides, “That’s us. We’re up in your tummy.” He presses down on your stomach, and you moan.

The Ganger’s hands slide down to your hips, gripping the flesh roughly, “Get ready, we’re about to ruin you for anyone else.”

And with that, the two begin to thrust in and out of your cunt.

The fullness feels so good, you almost start to drool.

The Doctor gets your attention by kissing you. His fingers intertwine with yours.

His thrusts are slower, more drawn out than the Ganger’s but just as desperate. He’s holding back, is it because he hopes this will happen again when the adventure ends? You hope the same.

A mouth latches onto your shoulder and bites down. You moan into the Doctor’s mouth, clenching around their cocks.

You can feel both of them shudder at the feeling.

The thrusting speeds up greatly.

“God, she feels so good.” The Ganger grunts, “Wouldn’t you agree?”

The Doctor pulls away from your lips, “I think she’s close.”

The Ganger smirks, “Gonna cum, huh?”

You nod, whining, “Please.”

“Good, we’re gonna fill you with our cum. Put a baby in you, make you nice and round with our child.” The Doctor groans, his thrusts getting rougher.

You clench around them, moaning.

“Oh, you’d like that wouldn’t you?” The Ganger asks, “Getting a baby fucked into you?” His hand finds your clit, rubbing circles into it.

The Doctor’s rhythm falters slightly, you can tell he’s close.

Your moans increase in pitch as they slow their thrusting, shooting straight into your womb.

Your pussy spasms, walls clenching and unclenching as you reach your orgasm, eyes rolling back into your head.

“Good girl.” The Ganger groans, “Fuck! Taking all our cum like a good little girl.”

Their hips slow to a stop as your head lays on the Doctor’s shoulder.

The Doctor’s arms wrap around your waist as he and the Ganger pull out.

Your feet touch the ground, your legs like jelly. Your hands grab the Doctor’s shoulders.

One of his hands holds your head up and he looks at you, “You did wonderful, darling.” 

A mouth presses against your back, kissing the skin softly, “Such a good girl for us.”

[holdupjack]

The Asylum Pt.1

——————

Pairing: Hermione Ganger x Fem!Reader

AU: Earlier 1900’s & Horror

WARNING: 18+ MINORS DNI/SUGGESTED RÄPE/GORE

——————

Third Person P.O.V:

July 1899

Y/n let out an anxious breath as she looked upon the Brightwood Asylum in the remote location in the north of Ireland.

Woods surrounded the structure, they were all dead and rotted, Y/n couldn't even see a living tree anywhere around her.

A bad omen.

Two horse-drawn buses stood dormant in the vacant lot as Y/n strolled near it, the animals were nowhere to be found. Her eyes shifted across the straps that lay on the ground, they had been cut free intentionally, but why?

It was a long walk to and from, and she should know, no one would take her here in the town a few kilometers/miles away. The feeling of eyes on her as she trudged her way through the woods was very prevalent.

Y/n looked back at the building and noticed it was eerily quiet, which was confusing since this place had bared windows that were always open. People in town had said that they could hear the patients screaming at night after most of the citizens had gone home.

One man she had talked to had said that the shrieks were the most common, but the calling for help from anyone, god, and the devil was the hardest to bear when he was outside past dusk.

Y/n had asked about a new patient that was brought here a few months ago, a woman around her age, that was accused of witchcraft in England.

The man had asked for a picture, to which the young woman quickly dug one out of her coin purse and showed him.

Hermione Granger, her girlfriend.

It had been a dubious trail, a constable had grown quite fond of Hermione since they crossed paths on her way to work in the local factory.

She had turned down his advancements kindly, but that wasn't enough. He had tried to force himself upon her one night, but Hermione was able to get away and run back home to her 'roommate'.

Like clockwork a few days later, she was placed in handcuffs under the suspicion of witchcraft. It turns out that the constable was a very well-liked and influential man, his reach stretched far into the justice system.

When Hermione arrived at the courtroom later that week, she had asked for a barrister to represent her in the trial, to which she soon found out that the officer had blacklisted her from any willing help.

She was completely ostracized.

Before Y/n knew it, her girlfriend was sentenced to life at Brightwood Asylum as a 'willing participant' for their observations.

Y/n was horrified by the letters Hermione would send her before they randomly stopped a month ago.

Her hand snuck into her coat pocket and pulled out the last letter she had received from her girlfriend.

'June 11th, 1899

Dear Y/n,

As you remember in my last letter, I have been hearing rumors from other women in the female ward that an uprising was on the horizon. It wasn't till this morning that my fears were confirmed, a woman named Susan, who suffers from random outbursts of chaotic episodes, came into my room and told me to stay inside tonight. She told me to not come out no matter what I heard or saw and to keep my door locked until another woman came to get me.

Susan kept insisting that I should not open my door to any man or doctor. I'm terrified of what tonight will entail.

If you do not hear from me again, please don't come here looking for answers.

Please Y/n, I need you to stay safe.

I forgot to ask you in my last letter, but didn't the moon look lovely last night?

Patiently waiting for your letters.

- Hermione Granger'

Y/n eyes shifted back onto the seemingly empty asylum as she folded the letter back into her pocket, and sighed,

"I can't just sit in our home and wonder what has happened to you" she whispers as she looks around the lot one last time.

Then she noticed a horse chewing on some grass at the edge of the treeline, at first she thought it was one of the bus horses, but then spotted a constable logo on the blanket under the saddle.

The man's story in town popped into her mind.

"A few weeks ago the screaming just stopped. At first, everyone was relieved! We watched as the day shift was taken up the trail the next morning, but the night shift never came down. That's when we knew something horrible had happened, the chief of police sent a group of men up there that night, and guess what? They haven't returned either."

Y/n shook her head and slowly made her way up to the entrance of the building, the doors rattled as she tried to open them, but it was locked tight.

She raised her knuckles to knock, but hushed whispers seeped through the cracks.

"Someone's at the doors, do you think it's the chief?" a man asks as another scoff in detest.

"No, he's too much of a git to come up here. Too afraid to see the monsters he created" he replied as the voice got closer to the door.

"Who is it." a gruff man asks through the door and Y/n clears her throat to respond clearly.

"My name is Y/n Y/l/n. I've come to check in on my friend, Hermione Granger. I haven't received a letter from her in quite some time, and I am worried" she replies, and it's quiet on the other end for a moment.

"The Asylum is closed until further notice, have the Chief of Police contact us for further orders" he replies, and Y/n furrows her brows in confusion.

"The Chief of Police? What does he have to do with this?" she asks and a sad chuckle comes from behind the door.

"Everything kid...everything."

Y/n paused and began hearing footsteps walk away, which made her panic.

"Wait! Is she okay?" she calls out, and the footsteps stop.

"Who were you looking for again?" a frail man's voice asks, someone different.

"Hermione Granger, she's on the third floor of the woman's ward, room 11B" Y/n replies as she hears the shuffling of paper.

"She is still alive, but please, leave before you get hurt," he says and Y/n shook her head out of pure confusion.

Still alive? Before you get hurt?

What the hell is going on?

"Wait-"

"We must go, I'm sorry"

"Hey! Wait! Tell me what's going on here!" Y/n yells as she pounds on the door, but it is no use, her questions aren't going to get answered with a door between her and the voices.

Y/n backed up into the lot and looked around the front of the building, Hermione had written in one of her letters that her window had a beautiful view of the town, so that must mean her room in the front.

She had said the female ward was on the right, but did she mean facing the building or away?

"Dammit" Y/n sighs as she began walking around the huge facility, looking for a ladder or basement that they might have left open.

"Please be a ladder-please be a ladder-"

Of course, there was no ladder, just a small walk down towards a door marked 'basement' in the back.

"For love" Y/n reminded herself as she slowly stepped down to the door, which she now realized had a bloody handprint smeared on it.

"If that doesn't scream 'walk in here and we'll kill you', then I don't know what does" she whispers with a nervous chuckle as the door opened with ease.

The smell of sulfur was pungent, almost making Y/n double back in disgust as she pressed her wrist to her nose.

"Oh god" she mumbled in horror as she closed the door behind her quietly, the hall had a track on one side, and the words 'MORGUE' with an arrow painted on the wall towards the door she came through.

There was a small building in the back that had a smoke stack coming from its small metal pipe in the roof like a blazing fire was stuck inside.

Y/n wouldn't be surprised if there was a cremator in it, it was the easiest way to hide any evidence of foul play for an Asylum.

Hermione had said that they seemed to be experimenting on any patients which caused a ruckus in the building.

This happened a lot, because there were many people stuck in this building with mental illnesses and disorders we don't understand yet.

Y/n found it horrible what they did to people who just don't understand what they have done wrong. Sometimes she thought the doctors didn't know either

The light flickered above her as she slowly walked down the passageway, a small whisper could be heard as she made her way toward the stairs next to the closed elevator.

It was locked purposely, a chain was wrapped around the door that would usually be pulled back to let someone off. To Y/n's surprise, she found a young man curled up and rocking in the fetal position, in his late teens, he was the whispering she had heard.

"Dr.Matthews doesn't like it when I'm not in my cell-but where is he?-is he sleeping in the supply closet with Nurse Rose again? No. I think he was the next to be-"

Suddenly the man looks up and stares at Y/n, her eyes widening in horror at the missing skin and tissue that is supposed to cover his right cheek. She could see his teeth without him having to open his mouth.

"You're not supposed to be here" he sang as he stood up and got closer to the steel door, Y/n opened her mouth a few times as she stared into his eyes.

"Who locked you in here?" she asked as he fiddled with the name bracelet on his wrist.

It said, Regi Willis.

"Dr.Matthews said he would be back for me, but he never returned yesterday" he mumbled as Y/n looked around the hall, she gazed near the stairs and noticed a dragging trail of blood that led through the broken-down door.

"I saw Willie take him in there, he screamed for so long until he either got away or gave in" Regi states as she looks back at him.

"I'll be right back, let me see if he dropped the key nearby" she whispers as he just nods and stares at his feet.

Y/n slowly followed the trail that no one should ever purposely investigate, but she just can't leave him to die in an elevator.

Slowly she poked her head into the dimly lit stairway and shut her eyes immediately at the sight she saw.

Presumably, Dr.Matthews lay on his stomach against the stairs. His pants and undergarments had been forcibly ripped away, and it wouldn't take a genius to put together what had happened to him. Dried blood trails had left paths down the back of his legs.

"Oh god..." Y/n whispered as she opened her eyes again and slowly walked over to what was left of his pants, which lay next to his body.

Her hands shook uncontrollably as she searched for the key, hoping to save at least more than one person from this god-forsaken place.

"Help me" a horse voice whispers next to her, causing Y/n to stumble away, looking at what she thought was a dead body. His eyes were barely open, and his lips were cracked from lack of hydration.

"Dr.Matthews?" Y/n whispers as a tear falls from the corner of his eye onto the wooden stairs.

"Please help me," he said again, and Y/n nodded quickly.

"I am, I've come for my friend, but I'll have this place swarming with help soon" she replies as he begins to sob, either in relief that this nightmare was almost over or the fact that it would still be a while before any help came.

Y/n wasn't sure.

"He broke my spine, I can't move" Dr.Matthews whispers as Y/n quickly searches through his pants pocket, and finds the key.

"Regi might be able to help, let me go unlock him," Y/n says and the doctor sighs in relief.

"He's okay? Thank god" he states as Y/n quickly runs towards the elevator.

"Regi? Dr.Matthews needs your help. Do you think you can carry him to the town hospital?" Y/n asks as she finds him still standing where she left him.

"Yes. Dr.Matthews is my friend! He saved me from the room with the lightning" he replies as the Y/n shoved the key in the lock and watched as the chain fell to the ground.

As she opened the door, Regi quickly stepped out and walked toward the stairway, Y/n followed after and stuffed the key in her pants pocket.

"Hi, Dr.Matthews" Regi whispered as he stood at the doorway, biting his nails, the doctor let out a soft chuckle and sighed happily.

"Hi Regi, are you alright?" he asks as Y/n takes off her coat and places it around the man's lower region.

"I'm okay, are you okay?" he asked as he stepped closer and watched the young woman slowly flip the doctor onto his back.

"No, I'm not" he replies calmly, almost like he wasn't just desperately asking for help earlier.

"Regi, I need you to carry Dr.Matthews to town. He'll be able to get help and save some more of your friends in here." Y/n says as the young boy nods and begins to take the older man into his arms.

"You're my friend now, right?" he asked and Y/n smiled at the boy.

"Of course Regi, my name is Y/n" she replies as the boy smiles back, looking happy that she had agreed to be his friend.

"I have four friends now Dr.Matthews," he says happily, to which the older man smiled.

"That's wonderful Regi, maybe we could all get together and eat dinner after all of this?" he asks and the boy grinned, his loose skin stretching around his exposed teeth.

Even in tremendous pain, the doctor still cared about his patients more than anything.

"Oh Y/n, take this key in my front pocket before we depart" the doctor states as she quickly pulls out a silver skeleton key from his shirt pocket.

"This will unlock most doors in the facility," he says as his eyes meet hers.

"Will it open the cells?" she asks and his eyebrows flew up in surprise.

"No, why would you want to do that?" he asks and Y/n lets out a breath.

"My...friend is here, and she's not supposed to be" Y/n whispers as she averted her gaze.

"Who is it?" Regi asks as he taps his fingers on Dr.Mathews's side in an unknown rhythm, she quickly looks back at him with a smile.

"Hermione Granger, she's on the third floor" she replies as his smile resurfaces like an empty water bottle that had been held underwater.

"She's my friend too, she gives me her pudding at lunch" he stated as Y/n chuckled, and slowly escorted them back into the hall.

"That sounds like her, I bet she'd love it if all of us got together" Y/n states as points to the door at the end of the corridor. Maybe it was just to calm the boy's mind, or maybe it was to calm her own, but these promises did sound nice. Especially in the place she has not even been in for half an hour.

"Go out that door and follow the road back to town, Dr.Matthews will get help and hopefully get this mess handled," Y/n says as Regi nods as the doctor begins to speak to him in a quiet voice, something about getting him some honey-covered fruit. She watched the boy shuffle off to the door at the end of the long hallway, noticing the way his body shifted from side to side with each step.

Once she heard the door creak open and slam shut again, a sudden feeling of isolation took over Y/n's body. Feeling the way the air on her body stood at attention in the dim lighting, the distant songs of yelling and footsteps made it even more uncomfortable for her.

Her eyes slowly turned toward the stairs case, a beat of sweat across her forehead as she took a deep breath. One foot in front of the other. That's it. Just take it slow.

Each step up the stairs was quiet and calculated. All she had to do was sneak up to the third floor, get through the male ward, across the lobby, and into the female ward.

Easier said than done.

Once she made it to the main floor, she could hear the men from the front door were bickering to each other. Y/n slowly peeked her head around the corner, seeing their silhouettes dancing against the wall.

"Are you sure Willie has been secured back in his cell? God, did you see what he did to Dr.Matthews? It wasn't supposed to be like this man, we were only trying to get better care, but the-" the frail voice was cut off by the more dominant one, who silenced him with a simple wave us his hand.

"Yes, that monster is back in his secured cell, and speaking of Doctor Matthews, why don't you put him in the incinerator out back?" he responded and Y/n's eyes widened in fear. What the hell is going to happen when they realize he's gone?

"Incinerator? Do you hear yourself? That man may have been a whore, but at least he was kind-" he was cut off again.

"Don't you get it, Bernie? If the Chief finds out that we let one of our hostages get assaulted to death, don't you think he'll have us lined up against the wall?! This is life or death for us, so do as you're told! And kill Regi! His yapping mouth will give us away for sure!" The gruff man yelled as Y/n saw one of the shadows move quickly, which caused her to throw caution to the window and run up the next flight of stairs.

Y/n found the second floor to be completely pitch black, even the emergency lights were busted out. She squinted her eyes in the darkness before shaking her head and taking her chances to sneak up to the third floor. This time she was much quieter again, her head peaking over the railing to see a figure walking down to the basement.

She didn't have time, and a hiding place was the best option at the moment. Y/n took a small breath before finally making it to the fully lit third floor.

"Mark! Mark! Dr.Matthews is gone!" A voice rang out before Y/n felt the hairs stand up even taller, her body subconsciously moved into the empty hallway before quietly fitting under the nurse's station desk. Her heart pounded like someone was squeezing clay between their fingers and letting go.

She pulled in a chair to cover herself better on the exposed side of the desk. Y/n could hear the sound of footsteps running up and down the stairwell. Panicked voices repeating questions or not even getting them answered.

"Someone's here! Someone has to be here! Who would have let Regi out of the elevator? Dr.Matthews was dead! Or at least at its doorstep!" The man, apparently named Mark, says. The other one, Bernie, was mumbling incoherent prayers, almost like he was on the verge of tears.

Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat as she heard the footsteps get closer, slowly coming up the stairwell and into the hallway. Then it was quiet, a few sniffles from Bernie passed by until a deep breath was let out.

"That kid from the door...what was her name?" Mark asks almost directly in front of the nurse's station. Y/n covered her mouth to stifle the loud breathing that tried to escape her as her heart pounded like a drum circle.

"Y/n, Y/n Y/l/n" Bernie responded as he took a deep breath as well, but much shakier than Marks. Then there was silence again.

"She had said that Hermione was the reason she was here" Mark hummed as his footsteps slowly walked toward the other end of the hallway, back toward the stairs. Y/n wanted to move, but the chair was in her way, and she's screwed if it scrapped on the ground or slammed into something else.

All she had to do was wait.

"Look for her, now"

This might take a while.

[noforkingclue]

I need some dark!doctor fic please. Can u pls make one with ganger!doctor being dark, acting on the doctor feeling for you, as his own? Whether the original doctor ended up dark too or not is up to u. I just need to read more dark doc fic pls. Thanks in advance.

I decided to go for dark!Doctor and dark!ganger for this. Can't resist a bit of dark!Doc.

Warning: dark fic

Title: Feeling the Same

Doctor Who tag list: @v4n1r, @queerconfusionthings, @yourneighbourhoodclown, @love-of-fandoms, @emilythezeldafan, @fabulous-jj-style, @theseeker945, @pleadingeyes, @kjaneway1, @truthbehindthemysteries, @im-a-muggleborn, @startrekkingaroundasgard, @mythandmagik, @geocookie21, @zerocanonlywriteshit, @thewinterpoet2, @anteroom-of-death, @night467, @clarasoswaldd, @sessa23

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @imjustassaneasyou, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

You could feel his eyes on you. Whenever you were in the same room as him, his attention was solely on you. There was something about him that made you feel uneasy and not just because he was a copy of your best friend.

There was a look in his eyes. A dark, longing hunger that chilled you to the core. The way he always watched you from the shadows or automatically know which room you were in. You knew you should’ve raised your concerns to the Doctor but you didn’t want to worry him. He had enough on his plate as it was and you didn’t want to add anything extra. Besides, tensions were high enough as it was. You didn’t want to create further conflict between the humans and gangers by what could be easily explained by a perfectly innocent explanation.

Well, at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

All it took was one little slip up. You had been so careful, sticking close by Amy and Rory for most of the time. You suspected that they might’ve known something was wrong but they didn’t say anything. You hadn’t even realised that you were alone in the room with the ganger Doctor until a cold hand touched your shoulder. You jumped in the air and spun around as you looked at him with wide eyes.

“Y/n.”

It was so strange to hear your voice come out of his mouth. You took a step back and he smiled at the action. He took another half step towards you but stopped when he saw you flinch.

“I know what he thinks about you.”

You jumped at the sound of his voice. Identical to the Doctor’s and yet he wasn’t him.

“What he feels about you.”

Your breath hitched as you looked up and realised he as directly in front of you. He smiled at you in what you assumed was meant to be a reassuring way. It did nothing to calm your nerves. You were rooted to the stop as he raised his hand and brushed a bit of hair behind your ear. He cupped your cheek and said,

“Do you know why?”

“N… no.”

He leant closer, brushing his lips against your cheek.

“Because I feel the same.”

*

You knew that you should’ve been relieved. The ganger Doctor was gone, dead. You were free of his ever following eyes. Amy and Rory decided to have a break from the TARDIS but you chose to stay on board. They lived together while you lived on your own and you didn’t fancy being on your own just yet.

You shivered as you hugged yourself and looked around the console room. You couldn’t get rid of the feeling of eyes watching you. You froze as you saw the Doctor watching you. He was leaning against the wall eyes locked on you. You found yourself rooted to the spot as he pushed himself off the wall and sauntered over towards you. Memories of what the ganger told you resurfaced and you found yourself edging towards the doors.

“You think she’ll let you leave?”

You narrowed your eyes at the Doctor as he continued,

“Feeling the same remember?”

[melancholydreadfuldream]

no one rips it up like you

Fandom: Doctor Who

Summary: You are tired of being second best. Hell, you are not even second best. You don't know what number you are on in regard of the Doctor's priority.

 Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, attempted suicide, death, etc. You have been warned.

    You are tired of being second best. Hell, you are not even second best. You don't know what number you are on in regard of the Doctor's priority. The first place certainly belong to Amy and then River, if the rumour about River being the Doctor's wife is true. 

  You tried not to be jealous of Amy who have the most of the Doctor's attention. But it is hard. You were both his current companion and yet it feels like you are nothing to him. You were not as brave, smart or sassy, like Amy or River. Those are the sort of behaviour the Doctor encouraged in companion. He need that quality in his companion so that they can keep up with him.  

  You have no idea what the Doctor saw in you at the beginning when he invited you into his Tardis but it certainly an opportunity of lifetime and so you accepted his offer. The first time you did meet the Doctor, you did show that once-in-a-while bravery and maybe that is why the Doctor thought you deserved an invitation into his Tardis. Unfortunately, you don't always show that quality of yours during adventure. Honestly, you didn't even have to, what with Amy on the spot ready to speak out her mind, being sassy as hell, toward villains of the days, which always earned her the Doctor's proud smile. And on the occasion of adventures where you stumble with River and her awesomeness, the Doctor is quick to flirt with her.

  You didn't hate Amy or River; jealous, yes, as ugly as that emotion is, it is quite normal. But you found friendship with Amy and respect for River. Amy is kind and protective of you as you often unable to talk back when people are mean to you. River saved your life during the weeping angels fiasco and a few times after. For some reason, River seemed to have some soft spot for you. But then again, maybe she did that because you are the Doctor's companion. She showed concern for you the few times you met which is more that you can say about the Doctor.

 The thing is at first, it wasn't like that. The Doctor always gave both you and Amy the same amount of attention. Somehow along the way, that changed. If you have to point the change, it must be after you, River and the Ponds got invitation from the future Doctor at Lake Silencio. You noticed that the Doctor is always staring at Amy borderline obsessive, as if he is trying to record her every movement. He never has time for you anymore, always quick to be distracted by anything or by Amy.

  It hurts. It is so hurt. At first, you endured it but when time passes and he still ignored you, you have to wonder if he grew tired of you and if he is leaving hints that he want you to leave the Tardis. 

  No one noticed your pain. At least, you thought so, until Rory talked to you and asked if you are okay.

  "I'm always alright." You said with a forced smile. You were honestly surprised that he noticed. You always thought he only have eyes for Amy. But you should have known. Rory is soft and kind to everyone he met and that of course included you.

  "Then why do you look so sad? why do you look like you wanted to cry?" He asked in concern.

  You didn't meant to but you started to cry in front of him. 

  Rory gave you a hug as he awkwardly patted your back in comforting gesture. He gave you tissue to wipe your tears and snots as you told him your insecurity and how lonely you felt most of the times. 

  "I know it was childish of me. Why do I want him to pay attention to me anyway?" You sniffed as fresh hot tears once more filled your eyes. "I am so stupid."

  Rory look pained when he heard your confession. He comforted you, saying the right words to make you feel better about yourself and your situation.

  "I'm sorry." You said after you calmed down some. "I didn't meant to cry on you."

  "It's okay. We are friends, aren't we? If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, feel free to ask me."

  You couldn't help but smile at that. "Aren't you afraid Amy will be jealous?"

  Rory snorted, not unkindly. "I don't think Amy is capable of being jealous."

  You chuckled as you agreed with his statement. Amy is so perfect and so lucky to have a loyal husband as Rory. You only wished you have half of her charm.

  7777

  You didn't know what you were thinking anyway when you saw right before your eyes of the two Doctors' presence in the St.John's Base. No, wait, of course, you do, you wish one of them can maybe pay attention to you now, that is how pathetic you are. Heck, you would settle for the ganger Doctor if only he will turn his eyes on you. But, of course, his eyes glued only on Amy, despite her treatment of his ganger status.

  You don't know what your stand is about the gangers but you know the Doctor will want peace between humans and gangers and so, naturally, you will stand by his firm belief. The Doctor is kind and strive to do the right thing and you can only wish and try to do the same thing as he did. You watched as Amy giggled as the Doctor talked to her and spun the chair she was in around. How come he never spend any time with you anymore? Was there something wrong with you? 

  You sighed as you tried to compose yourself as you instead try to approach the ganger Doctor but he barely able to keep his eyes off Amy, only give you a half-smile, before leaving you behind to go to Amy. Amy, always Amy! You hated yourself for resenting Amy, she is your friend. This feeling of yours is disgusting. No wonder the Doctor didn't pay attention to you. You are so ugly on the inside.

  It was at that moment that you realized you have to either confront the Doctor for the truth or just leave the Tardis forever before your ugly emotion took full control of you. But, you are a coward, you are afraid to confront the Doctor. What if he really ask you to leave? What if he thinks you are not good enough to be his companion? Because, the truth is, you don't want to leave the Doctor or the Tardis. So, what now? Do you just have to endure this pain and hope someday he will set his eyes on you again?

  "(name)? (name)!"

  You blinked your eyes through the tears.

  The Doctor is standing right in front of you with concern in his eyes.

  You wiped your tears. You gulped. "I think I got something in my eyes..." You said dumbly.

  The Doctor look pained at your words. "You can tell me anything that is bothering you."

  "Can I, really?" You didn't meant to say that but you sort of blurted it out.

  The Doctor look surprised that you even have to ask that. "Of course. You are my friend, (name), I care for you."

  You bit your lips. "I..." You can't tell him anything. What if he really ask you to leave later? But the dam is finally broken, despite your will, you ended up blurting it out. "Am I still good enough to be your friend?"

  The Doctor frowned at that.

  "Have you grow tired of me yet?" You asked again despite uttering those despairing questions brought more tears and heartache inside you.

  "What bring this on?" The Doctor asked in concern.

  You scoffed. "You have been ignoring me since forever. If you wanted me to leave, you should have say so." You wanted to hit yourself for saying that.

  "Have I? I didn't realize that I hurt you this badly." The Doctor whispered softly. "I'm so sorry, (name)."

  You wiped your tears again. You refused to look at the Doctor, ashamed and honestly unable to face him anymore.

  The Doctor put his hand over yours. He then pulled your chin up so that you look at him. He smiled kindly at you but his eyes bore sorrow. "You will always be my friend, (name), my precious, soft and kind, friend. I didn't meant to make you feel less about yourself. What I have been doing...I am not ignoring you, (name), I have my reasons and you will understand soon."  He said as he used his thumb to wipe your tears. "I promise."

  You stared at him hesitantly hopeful. Seeing the expression on his face makes you feel guilty for thinking the worst of him but also you feel the tension inside you slowly crumble away. "You better keep your promise..." You finally replied, forcing a smile on your face for his benefit.

  He grinned at you.

  You stood up, wanting to leave the room to wash your face when Amy entered the room in a hurry, quick to approach the Doctor. You bumped into the ganger Doctor. You apologized but he ignored you as he tried to reach out to Amy. Amy yelled at him to stay away. You were rooted to the spot as you watched the rest of the crew turned against the ganger Doctor despite the Doctor's protest. You left the room and goes to the bathroom, washing your face a few times, hoping to wash away the evidence of your breakdown.

  As you stared at the mirror at your reflection, you flinched suddenly at the sudden sharp headaches. You sighed as you pulled a medicine strip from your pocket. You have been having headaches every time after you have a crying fit so you took the medicines everywhere you goes. After you swallowed a pill, you took another look at your reflection, forcing yourself to smile cheerfully. You sighed and returned to face the music.

  The Doctor spoke really fast at everyone about his plan, sending you a smile once in a while. You smiled back at him.

  You really thought that everything will be fine now. But series of events revealed that the Doctor is actually a ganger and that he switched place with the original Doctor. You were confused then, was it all a lie then? If he was the ganger, does everything he says to you still true? You felt like the ground beneath you is about to crack under pressure.

  The ganger Doctor stared at you in sorrow after he said his goodbye with Amy. He suddenly pulled you into a hug as he whispered to you. "Everything I said to you is true, (name), so it is also true for him." 

  You stared at him after he pulled away. "I believe you when you said it but I don't think..." You turned to stare at the original Doctor who looked at your interaction with his ganger-self curiously.

  The ganger Doctor cupped your face. "Be more confident in yourself." He said and then he kissed your forehead. "Good bye, (name)." He pushes you toward the Doctor who is quick to pull you away and inside the Tardis. 

  You turned toward the ganger Doctor just as the door is closed and the last thing you saw is his kind eyes and sad smile and your heart broke for him.

  You fell down on the floor as the Doctor goes to the console to put coordinates to get the Tardis away.

  It was Rory who come to you and asked if you are okay as Amy went to apologizes to the Doctor.

  7777

  It was revealed that Amy is a ganger and that she has apparently been kidnapped for a long time. The Doctor finally revealed why he was obsessed with Amy. You felt like a fool once you learned the truth.

  The Doctor and Rory quickly prepared themselves to go to wars so to speak.

  You were tasked to get River on board the Tardis as you made your way to her prison room at Stormcage. River is dressed beautifully and is humming a song when you saw her. You explained what is going on to her.

  "Demons Run?" She asked you. She look stunned. "This is the day the Doctor found out who I really am." She turned to look at you suddenly and her eyes look sad. She walked toward you and pulled one of your hands. "I'm so sorry, (name), but you need to remember to hold on for the Doctor. He will need you."

  You blinked in confusion.

  River smiled before stepping away from you, not explaining what she meant.

  7777

  The Doctor was able to rescue Amy and baby Melody. You honestly didn't do anything worthy during the mission but you still feel victorious when you saw the Ponds reunited and crying over the baby. The Doctor walked into a room and put his arms on you as he watched the Ponds with a satisfied smile. He exchanged a look at you and grinned. You couldn't help but chuckles.

  You smiled as you also played with baby Melody. You were in awe of the newborn. Amy jokingly called you to be the god mother of her baby. You smiled widely at her as you declared yourself to be the best aunt ever. Deep inside you feel guilty for ever resenting Amy before.

  You thought that will be the happy ending they need to wrap it up. But the Doctor said they can't leave the base until they figure out why they want Amy's baby. The Doctor left to meet Madam Vastra in the control room.

  You smiled as you watched baby Melody inside the Doctor's crib as Rory and Amy playfully argued with each other. You left to follow the Doctor once Amy have baby Melody in her arms humming a lullaby. You walked on the long corridor into the console room where you saw Madam Vastra and Dorium who went back to where the others are.

  Your smartphone suddenly rang. The contact said 'Home'. You received the call just as you are about to enter the room but stopped short when you heard the Doctor yelled at the monitor.

  It was Madam Kovarian. For someone who already lost, she sounded so smug. 

  "Oh Doctor, fooling you once was a joy, but fooling you twice the same way? It's a privilege." Madam Kovarian grinned evilly at him. before the communication shut off by itself.

  The Doctor looked confused at first before his eyes widened in horror but just as he turned around to leave the room, he bumped into you. He was surprised to see you and more surprised when he suddenly feel a sudden sharp pain in his body. His eyes widened in disbelief as he took a look at you.

  You were staring at him with blank eyes. On your hand, a bloodied knife make its contact with the Doctor's flesh body. 

  "(name)?"

  You pulled the knife out and then twist it back inside a few more times, still with a blank expression on your face.

  The Doctor gripped his wounds with his hands. He reached out to you with one of his bloodied hand, smearing his blood on your face before falling to the floor.

  You blinked your eyes a few times as the haze inside your mind finally cleared. You glanced down and screamed at what you saw. You quickly bend your knees as you fussed over the Doctor. The Doctor is not responsive.

  You ran into the console in front of you trying to use speaker system to call out Rory for help but for the life of you, you couldn't figure all the buttons. You finally figures it out and you screamed for Rory, telling him the Doctor is hurt. You have no idea though if your voice come through.

  It was then you notice the blood on your hands and the bloodied knife in your grip. You dropped the knife in horror as your mind slowly supplied what it meant.

  You couldn't breathe. Your heart pounding hard. Your head is splitting with a sudden sharp headache. You fell on the floor. You stared at your hands as your body trembled from shock and fear. You screamed. You screamed and screamed. Distinctly you know you should warn everyone, should get the Doctor the help he needed, but for some reason, you couldn't stop screaming.

  Your vision suddenly started to grew blurry before black is all you can see. Distinctly you saw the Doctor's body started to glow yellow just before you lose consciousness.

  7777

  You woke up inside your room back in the Tardis.

  "You are awake."

  Your mind does not register the presence of a man in black suit. You blinked a few times until your vision cleared. 

  The man stared at you flatly.

  "W-who are you?" You asked nervously clutching on your blanket.

  "The Doctor."

  You blinked in confusion. "What about him?"

  He raised his attack eyebrows at you, not impressed that you still not getting it. "I am him."

  Your mind went blank at that. It was then you remembered, finding the Doctor's bloodied figure on the floor. You gasped. "The Doctor...is dead..."

  "I'm really not. I regenerated. Well, that part was very surprising considering I should no longer have any regeneration left." The Doctor said.

  "I...I killed him."

  The Doctor stared at you, not contradicting your claim. He sat there, observing you as you cried, full on sobbing. He made no move to comfort you. He looked cross. 

  You sobbed tearfully. "What have I done?"

  He sighed. "Don't cry. I am no good at crying human."

  You glanced at him. "Are you really him? Are you really the Doctor?"

  "I already said I am." He said a tad harsh, making you flinched. "Get some rest. We will talk again once you refresh." He left the room.

  You watched him go and wonder if he hates you now. Well he has every reason to hate you, after all, you did kill his previous self.

  7777

  Amy and Rory are wary around you and you can't blame them. But they did filled you in about what happened that day.

  You were saddened when you found out they lost their baby and surprised at the revelation that River is actually Melody.

  The Ponds also have hard time accepting the new Doctor. He is so different from his previous self. For once, he claimed he now ban hugging. 

  River visited the Tardis via vortex manipulator and went to talk to the Doctor, flashing you a kind smile as she saw you.

  You followed her and eavesdrop on her conversation with the Doctor something about your brainwave pattern.

  The Doctor suddenly opened the door and pulled you inside. You nearly stumbled if not for his firm grip.

  "Doctor." River warned. "Be gentle."

  They explained that someone hacked your brainwave pattern causing you to do thing you normally would not do. He wants to inject you with some chip so that he can always monitor your brainwave pattern at all times and isolates whatever cause you to turn against the Doctor.

  You agreed because you don't want to put anyone else in danger. But you got the sense that this Doctor doesn't take no for an answer from you right now.

  "I don't understand how can someone hack into my brain like that? I think I would know if someone did something to me."

  "Would you? Even Amy herself has no idea she was kidnapped for so long..." River said.

  "Are you telling me that I am a ganger too?" You asked.

  "I think someone did something to you sometimes after the Ponds' wedding."

  "I would know, wouldn't I?" You asked brokenly. "How can someone mess with my mind like this and I have no idea? How can they made me hurt the D...hurt you? How can they make me a killer without my knowledge?"

  River glanced at you sympathetically. She knew how it feels to have no control over mind and body.

  The Doctor exhaled. "I have no idea. But I will find out. And when I do, I will make them pay for whatever they did to you." He said as he glanced at you. "That is a promise."

  7777

  You weren't coping well with the fact that you have taken the Doctor's life despite him able to escape death by regenerating.

  Despite the Doctor's promise to find whoever did this to you, he is mostly busy hunting down Kovarian. You can hardly begrudging the fact once again you are not his first priority. Melody is still need rescuing after all. And you prayed that they will find her soon. Even if apparently Melody will turned out okay as she will become River.

  River had told the Doctor to be discreet so that Kovarian will never find out that he has regenerated already.

  Everyone is still talking about Lake Silencio and the fact the Doctor died there in his eleventh form. 

  River had the idea of using the Doctor's ganger from their time at St.John's Base to trick the silence.

  And that is how you found yourself face to face with a ghost.

  Amy is happy to reunite with the ganger Doctor especially since he has the face of the raggedy man she knew and loved.

  You were happy too but mostly you are afraid of his reaction upon finding out that you had killed the Doctor that has the same face as him. So, you mostly keep your distance.

  You were hiding from both Doctors somewhere in the Tardis but the ganger Doctor somehow able to find you.

  "So, this is where you have been hiding..." He murmured as he glanced down at you who were sitting on the floor with a book.

  You glanced up at him. "Yeah, well, I can't find a hole to bury myself under so..."

  He sighed as he took a seat on the floor beside you. "It wasn't your fault..."

  You didn't bother replying to that statement because you didn't believe it.

  The ganger Doctor sat beside you, no words are exchanged. He glanced at you with sorrow in his eyes, making you unable to ignore with him or focus on your own book.

  "What?"

  "(name), you are forgiven, always and completely." He said as he hold one of your hands.

  "I thought that you said it wasn't my fault."

  "It is not your fault. But it seemed to me that you need to have forgiveness. So, I'm telling you now..." 

  You felt your face gotten hot as tears threaten to fell on your cheeks. "I wish he said it. Because the one I did wrong to is him."

  "He probably think you know that it wasn't your fault and that there is nothing to forgive." 

  "How can you be sure? He is no longer the same as you. He has different opinions for everything now."

  "He is still me, still the Doctor, just slightly different." He said. "Though that rules of him, of no hugging is rubbish."

  You chuckled at that.

  He beamed, satisfied being able to make you laugh a little.

  7777

  The presence of the ganger Doctor lessen your guilt a bit. You could almost lied to yourself that he is the Doctor that you lost. 

  And then you learned of what the Doctor and River planned for the ganger Doctor. They wanted him to take the Doctor's place to die in Lake Silencio.

  "Will he survive it?" You asked. You don't want to lose him. The first time is hard enough, you don't think you can handle it.

  No one answered you.

  You shook your head. "You can't just sacrifice him."

  "We have no choice. If we didn't the paradox will destroy half of the world... It was a fixed point in time. The Doctor dies at Lake Silencio."

  You glared at the Doctor. "You said all life matters. Are you saying ganger don't matter now?"

  "(name)..." River spoke up.

  "It isn't fair!" You yelled at them.

  The twelfth Doctor scoffed at you. "Life is never fair. If it is not because of you, I would still be in my previous form and I would be the one who die on that lake. Instead I died in the hand of a so called friend. Stab multiply times actually."

  "Doctor!!" River warned him with a glare at his harshness.

  You felt like you were being slapped. You glanced at his face, trying to hold back your tears. You left the room without a word.

  The ganger Doctor glared at the Doctor. "I sometimes forgot how stupid I can be..." He said coldly at the original. He turned to look after you.

  7777

  In order to trick Kovarian and the silence, the ganger Doctor has to take the Doctor's place and continue his merry way having adventures with his companions.

  You and Amy honestly loves it, it was like having the real him back. It was apparent that you both has a hard time getting along with the new Doctor.

  You reluctantly said your goodbye once again with the ganger Doctor as the time come for him to go to the Lake Silencio. Was it always been the ganger Doctor then who died at the beginning?

  You never able to mend your relationship with the new Doctor. He is just too cold, too unapproachable. 

  You wanted to leave. What was the point of staying when he doesn't even want you around? But he won't let you leave until he solve your brainwave pattern.

  He noticed that your brain chemicals seemed unbalance, making you get stressed out. He prescribed you with drug to combat it.

  But honestly you felt toxic. You didn't think you could stay with him in his Tardis or having adventures. You simply no longer have the energy for it.  You were done with the Doctor.

  River had begged you to stay. "Remember what I said at Stormcage, to hold on the Doctor? I need you to do that right now."

  "He doesn't need me. He has you, Amy and Rory. Why would he want me around, his killer?"

  River revealed that she is also the Doctor's killer. She told you that she is the person behind the spacesuit at Lake Silencio. She told you how she was born and raised to kill the Doctor. She said she understood you for she too has no control over her body when she shot the Doctor back then. And yet the Doctor forgives her.

  You were surprised. If what she said is true, then it makes sense why she seemed to have soft spot for you. But that is also meant she always knew that you will ended up killing the Doctor and she didn't say anything or try to stop it. You were a bit upset at her for that.

  "I can't interfere. Like I said, your future is my past. I can't change anything." River said. "No matter how much I want to."

  7777

  The Doctor glanced at your brainwave pattern at the monitor in the console room. He exhaled. He still has no idea how to fix you. Deep inside he was enraged at whoever screw you up just to get to him.

  He suspected it was Kovarian's scheme too at first but if it was really her, she would know by now that the Doctor has regenerated. It seemed his lies back in Lake Silencio worked out. 

  But he does think about the prophecy Dorium talked, something regarding Trenzalore. Has that prophecy become invalid then? As it spoke of the fall of the Eleventh and he has actually regenerated into his Twelfth form.

  He recalled his conversation with his ganger version. He had warned him to get his bearing together or he will end up losing you and the Ponds.

  Sometimes the Doctor wonder if he is still the Doctor. He felt disconnected from his usual Doctor persona.

  7777

  Following the ganger Doctor and River's advice, you tried to talk to the Doctor but it just hard. He made it hard. He is so stern and cold unlike his past version.

  You talked to Amy and Rory about it and they both agreed to try to bond with the new Doctor as best as they can. After all the Doctor is a dear friend. They have to try to reconnect with him. He is worth the effort.

  It was Amy that is able to break through the ice around the Doctor. You frowned as you saw Amy hugged him despite his protests. They were arguing before but Amy is able to get through him.

  You were jealous. No matter which Doctor, they always prefer Amy over you.

  The Tardis currently landed in Cardiff for refuel. You got out of the Tardis in daze with tears in your eyes. You walked for how long until you found yourself seated on a bench. 

  You snapped out of your daze when your smartphone is ringing. The contact 'Home' displayed on the screen. You received the call and everything turned black.

  7777

  "You are awake." A computer-generated voice called out to you.

  You jerked awake in confusion as you took in your new surrounding. 

  There is a monitor on the wall with a screensaver of sort that spelled GI.

  "Petta, report on the Doctor." The voice said.

  You were confused. Who is Petta?

  The voice repeated the command.

  "It won't work." The Doctor replied suddenly.

  You turned toward the Doctor in confusion but he paid you no mind as he glanced at the monitor.

  "Intruder alert. Intruder alert." The voice sounded an alarm.

  The Doctor look bored. "Don't bother. My friends has this base of yours surrounded by now." He said. "GI...right? Great Intelligence? Not that smart eh? Why don't you scan her?"

  You were scared now. "Doctor, what is going on?"

  A ray of light suddenly scanned you and the voice replied in monotone voice, "Non-human detected. Analysis showed a flesh ganger."

  You felt like you are being slapped. You are a ganger? "Doctor!!" You yelled at him.

  He finally turned to you. He walked toward you and touched the side of your forehead and a flashback memory assaulted your sense.

  You were back at the Demons Run watching yourself just after you found the Doctor's bloodied form. You watched as the you of that time frantically trying to call for help and then noticing the bloody knife on your hands. You had screamed as the realization of what you have done come over you. You watched yourself sobbed in despair and then you stabbed yourself.

  You gasped and jerked away from the vision. You don't remember doing that last part.

  You heard the Doctor is explaining to the Great Intelligence how his plan to get you to kill him failed and what he did to save you.

  The Doctor has just regenerated and the first thing he saw was your dying self. Despite still out of sort, he knew what he has to do. He managed to save you and then he put you inside the flesh technology on the lab at Demons Run.

  Your flesh self actually is somewhat free from whatever virus infecting your original self. The Great Intelligence had apparenty brainwash your original self to kill the Doctor and then yourself. With how they messed with your brain chemical, it was easy to make yourself commit suicide afterward.

  But the GI didn't count on the Doctor regenerating and able to save you. The Doctor had made a flesh ganger of you and set you as a bait to trap the GI to show itself.  The chip inside you is also serve as a tracker. That is how the Doctor is able to get here as fast as he is.

  The Doctor demanded that the GI undo what it has done to your original self. 

  The GI had laughed in that grating computer voice of it. The monitor show the sims-like man cartoon of an old man with sinister face, mocking the Doctor for his inability to fully save you.

  "The reason you made a copy of flesh ganger is because you know Petta will obey me and when she woke up to find you alive, she will have no choice but to kill you again and then herself." The GI grinned. 

  The Doctor look very cross but didn't deny the GI's claim. He started threatening the GI in his fury of the oncoming storm.

  You froze, still stuck on the loop of what the GI had said about your original self.

  Despite his carefully constructed plan, the GI had managed to escape from the Doctor's grasp albeit wounded through the computer virus the Doctor uploaded.

  The Doctor has no idea what even the GI is but he will not rest until he recapture him. He turned to look at you.

  "Does everyone but me know that I am not real?" You asked.

  The Doctor didn't reply at first but he eventually nodded.

  "Did the ganger Doctor also know?"

  The Doctor nodded again.

  You snorted. "So, everyone know and lie to me about it all."

  The Doctor didn't say anything.

  "Where is my real body then? Inside the Tardis, yeah? Where?" You asked him.

  "Does it matter?"

  "Where is my true body, Doctor?!" You screamed at him.

  7777

  It makes sense now. Amy and Rory were not wary of you. That was pity for you, of being the one in the dark, out of the loop. Everyone kindness was just a lie.

  You glanced at your original self lying weakly on the bed. Your life is still on the line it seemed. You often spend your time staring at yourself which probably isn't healthy but who cares?

  You made your way to the machine that held a life support system and considering to terminate it. 

  "Step away from it, (name)." You heard the Doctor's demand.

  "Why? Do you think this is what we want? Do you think we could live with it after being a killer?"

  "I am here. You are not a killer. And I will fix you."

  "And then what? You will erased my memory of the truth?"

  The Doctor didn't reply but something on his expression convinced you that it was indeed his plan.

  You scoffed in disbelief.

  "Why does it matter? Didn't my ganger self had told you already that you are forgiven?"

  "Even if you could, do you really think I could forgive myself? I will always be a threat to you!"

  "I swear to you no matter how long, no matter what, I will find a way to fix you. You can live a normal life." The Doctor pleaded. "Just don't do this. Don't throw it all away."

  "I'm sorry, Doctor."

  "I'm sorry too, (name)." The Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at you, much to your shock, and vaporizing you.

  The Doctor stepped toward the bed, staring at you with sorrow. "I will protect you, (name), even from yourself."

       A/N: As usual I ended up writing different from what I've planned and it probably not gonna making any sense again. Honestly, I always ended up not finishing my stories but not on purpose, mostly because i have no idea how to fill in the blank. i'm really bad at this. But writing when I have the boost for it is fun so I hope you have fun reading this too. Please leave comments if you like this. Take care of yourself, stay safe.

[supernova-variations]

11th Doctor, Crush impact

(not my gif!)

11th Doctor x reader warnings: none! fluff  word count: 600 request:  “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?” with eleventh doctor💞

A/N: there it is! i’m finding trouble with writing for the 11th doctor so i would love some feedback. aren’t my 11th doctor oneshots occ? dunno. hope it’s all good. but if anything is bothering you guys, please let me know! 

“Crush impact”

Ten minutes until impact – the voice system stumbled along the space vessel, making everyone present even more stressed out than they already were. Fanning system broken, making their shirts stick to the back of their necks, angry bickering and heated conversations only made the situation worse. Y/N could already feel how shallow her breath was getting, the oxygen levels extremely low.

The Doctor leaned to sonic a loose wire that was peaking out of the wrecked cockpit, hair sticking to his perspired forehead, sweat rolling down his nose and pointy chin. The Time Lord’s position slowly altered from balancing his weight on his heels, then to kneeling, to finally lay on the dirty space ship floor, examining the faulty compressor and what-not’s. He, The Lord of Time, was running out of time, as always.

Y/N talked to the crew, trying to calm them down about the disturbance in the vessel’s electric system, but her eyes kept wandering off towards the Doctor, rummaging through some weird-looking toolbox, sonic screwdriver tucked between his ear, a wire (still fizzing with electricity!) held between his teeth. She fanned herself with a ship’s manual and wandered off, not being able to hear more arguing.

“Nice look you’re presenting, Pretty Boy,” she smiled, sitting next to the Time Lord that was is some sort of flow, consumed by alien particles escaping the fuel box, needed for the engine to run again. Otherwise, they would very soon crash into a nearby moon.

Eight minutes until impact – a gentle voice reminded them what they were very well aware of.

“Could you please hold this?” he asked, took her hand not waiting for a second longer, and clasped her fingers onto metallic stirrings tied into a complicated knot.

“Yeah, sure,” she snickered, “I don’t mind.” The companion huffed, her chest rising and falling in a fast manner. She could almost feel how thin the air was.

He sent her an absent smile and adjusted the glasses slipping off the bridge of this nose. Y/N found pleasure in observing the fast work of his fingers, how he pressed various buttons that looked just the same to her, making the machine wail, hum and buzz.

“I’m not sure she likes that,” Y/N noticed, her hand starting to get uncomfortable from the position she was holding the strings in. “I’m going to need my hand back some if I want to be able to use it in the future.”

“Hand asleep,” he mumbled, Y/N not entirely sure what he meant. “Were you flirting with me?” he asked all of a sudden, dropping the tool he was fidgeting with before onto the rusty floor. An alarm went off, sending all the crew members to their feet. “When you called me… Pretty Boy.”

“You only just noticed?” The companion blushed but smiled nonetheless, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear with her free hand. “I’ve been doing it for the past three months.”

“Were you? My mind must have been in  operation mode or something. It does that sometimes.” He wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his jacket, abandoned nearby, and took the strings out of her grasp, placing them in the right place. “Still not fixed, but we have about five minutes till the impact with the moon.” He exclaimed like it was something to be excited about. “Come on, Pretty Girl, we have a ship to save.”

The Doctor grabbed her hand, still numb from the uncomfortable position. She knew it was time to run.

“Are you flirting with me!?”

“Yes! Yes, I think I am!”

[smiths-11]

Almost A Goodbye 2 - 11th Doctor x Reader

Chap 1 - here 

Chapter 2 - Life Among Other Things

I found myself coming back to reality on the floor of the kitchen, knees tucked up to my chest and water dripping off my chin. I didn’t know how long I had walked around for or really how long I had been here. Memories insisted on flooding back to me freshly out of my dysphoria, memories not only of today but the day I never talked about. It really did seem like a long time ago. The ponds and I had been travelling with him for months again now. The glimpses of moments I forgot were always short lived but when I felt my happiest. Worrying about something that was 200 years in his future and 6 months ago in my past was frustrating and had done things to me that I couldn’t foresee until it happened. 

The way he looked at me earlier. In all the time I’d been with him not once had I seen such darkness inside those eyes. I felt like I was in trouble for saving his ganger when in any other situation that would have been him, risking his life to save another, risking his life to save me. My stomach was in knots again, anxiety clinging to my distress. 

“Y/N?” His voice, soft and whispery. Trying to be delicate. 

He’d found me. My eyes closed tightly, the last thing I needed right now was for him to comfort me. I heard his footsteps draw closer, of course it didn’t work like that. He was a stupidly good man. My head felt like it was going to explode with the intense banging behind my eyes. But I couldn’t move even if I wanted to run away from this impending conversation. If I couldn’t tell him, how was he meant to make me feel better. 

“I’ve been trying to find you for hours.” He sounded worried, I could almost feel his breath fan over my face. 

My eyes peeked open through slits, he was knelt in front of me, forehead wrinkled with concern. I glanced down at his shoes, sneakers. Ganger. 

“You haven’t swapped again have you? Not that it matters now, I just” I trailed off and took a deep breath, completely exhausted on every level, not wanting to get into my own explanation. 

“No, we didn’t swap again. I am the flesh. Obviously the doctor and I know the difference between us but as we saw before, you don’t, so I'll wear sneakers from now on, me in sneakers oh that doesn’t sound right, does it? At least I get to keep my bowtie, bowties are cool.” He adjusted the piece of material around his neck even though it was clearly perfectly in place, raising his eyebrows oozing overconfidence in a way only he could. 

“Why?” I questioned, confused. “There isn’t any difference anymore Doctor, you both are the most important men in the universe. Two of you, I just thought that over now and what on earth have I done.” A manic laugh bounced off the walls before I could stop myself for letting it out. 

“You might feel that way right now Y/N, but you’re avoiding him. If he had come in here instead would you have talked to him?” 

My head lifted to look him in the eyes. His were already on me, looking down at me intently. 

“I don’t want to talk to him right now. I know you are him but..” I sighed, wiping my face off with my hand in frustration.“It's more complicated than you know, either of you. Every time I close my eyes I-I see..” My vision blurred over as I stared off into the distance, It was eating away at me, holding this massive secret from him. I knew Amy felt the same. 

“See what?” He pressured gingerly. 

“It doesn’t matter.” I mummered coldly. Knowing I’d never be able to tell him without something in the world ripping apart. 

The conversation died with my contention, heartbeats full of silence passed. I felt a new sense of calmness flood the room after a while, making me feel safe once more. My body finally slumping on the spot. As I attempted to relax, I hadn’t even realised he’d shifted from in front of me to my side. 

“Can I ask you a question Y/N?” He was the first one to break the stillness, of course, no one could keep him for becoming antsy.

“I suppose.” My knees extended out and I could feel the muscles in my legs ache under my movement. I crossed my leg over the other and directed my attention towards him, moving my body slightly to face him better. 

I didn’t expect it but his hands grabbed for mine, cupping them between his own. The warmth of his skin made me realise how cold I was from my dissociative panic attack. It made me want to wrap my arms around him seeking out any heat. 

“I was more than happy to give my life today, It was an impossible situation. If you stayed with me you would have died and I would never forgive myself for that, I’ve told you before. You should have left me, I know am him but at the same time I will never be to you and you know that. So why would you save me?" He made sure to tread lightly with his words.

“You can’t be that daft Doctor or are you just slipping? You are the most incredible being I have ever met. The most stupid, brilliant, kind old man. If it ever came to it, I would gladly die to save you. I would give my life over and over again if it meant you kept yours for eternity. I fear the day I lose you more than dying myself. It's going to kill me when I do." I smiled up at him, sadness behind my eyes. I bit the corner of my lip intently. "You accepted death so easily, it wasn’t like you give in. Especially when safety was so close. I wasn't gonna let you kill yourself. I don't care if there's two of you. I just need you to be safe for me."

“Y/N.” He breathed out. "You don't stick around me to be safe. I am the most dangerous man in the universe."

"Yet I know that I’m safe, as long as you're here. You never give up, impossible or not and that's the best way to explain why you are dangerous." 

I knew he felt like he should fight me back on this one, yet he kept his normally very chatty mouth shut. His hands moving to grab my cheeks instead, vulnerability shining through. 

"My beautiful, generous, brave Y/N, don't ever change for anyone. Promise me that." His eyes lighting up with passion as his voice radiated throughout the kitchen in this sudden outburst. 

His fringe flopped in front of his eyes as he leaned closer to give my forehead a soft kiss. My heart swelled up at the gesture. Leaving a pleasant smile on my face and goofy one on his. Hands weakly releasing my cheeks to rest on my shoulders. 

"I can't make any promises Raggedy man." I couldn’t help but left myself grin at the pet name. 

"Oi, when will you stop calling me that? It has to get old at some point." He sounded really fakely offended for a second. 

"That's not happening." I mused back, searching his deep eyes for something. 

He attempted to say something but stopped under my gaze, holding it firmly. One of my cold hands pushing his hair back away from his face so I could see him better. 

It was stolen. This moment. Things like this never happened. Too much crazy, running, complicated, paradoxes. And although the doctor normally had no inkling on personal space this was different. 

His eyes gazed back into mine, almost as if he was searching for something as well; a moment. He placed his warm hand on my thigh, tentatively and with some obvious thought. I smiled at him lightly, getting lost in his simple yet awkward touch,uncharacteristically intimate for him. The corners of his mouth turned up in a quirky smile and I couldn't help but fall deeper into his presence. I placed my hand over his, gripping lightly and subconsciously being drawn in closer to his madness. His eyes darted down to our hands, his smile dropping into a low smirk; he knew what this was, he had a way of doing that. Our bodies gravitated towards each other unknowingly. 

“Oh go on then, what are you waiting for?” He questioned softly, his eyes exploring mine deeply. 

My breath caught in my throat as I stared up at him, my mind going fuzzy with impure longing and unaccountable worry. My hands cupped his disheveled face and I leant in tentatively, heart bouncing inside my chest. I stopped although dazed. If I did this, I don’t know if I could ever go back to my stupid normal life. And without words it meant too much. Hands sliding down to grab desperately at the collar of his tweed jacket. 

Sensing my thoughts, his hand moved back to my left cheek. 

“Y/N...” His voice shakily pleading me to continue as his hand guided me closer to his face. 

Close enough that everything I tried to see was a whole lot of blurr. Life was annoyingly unpredictable at the worst and best times. I’d already accepted that mine would probably end saving him or something worse dare I imagine. 

I pressed our lips together tentatively with a gentle hum from me, unable to resist his allure any longer. He reciprocated with just as much desire. Lips gentle and warm, the hand on my thigh grabbing tighter in the moment before moving up to my waist. Grasping it tightly coaxing my body to straddle his. 

[11thsdoctress]

“is it alright to say what I feel?” [11th Doctor x You]

Fandom: Doctor Who

Ship: 11th Doctor x Reader

Word Count: 1102

Summary: The Doctor has been feeling some things for the reader for a while, but after seeing a Ganger of his had some intentions, he had said something that may expose his feelings.

Warnings: none that I can think of.

Request: No

Author’s Note: I really don’t know if I executed this concept properly, I really loved the idea of the Doctor being jealous of himself. I don’t think it’s my best work, but I did this mostly for self-indulging reasons, Anyways happy reading!

The fic is inspired by a song called, “Kiss & Disappear” - Vincent Eco (https://open.spotify.com/track/7ng0ZrCaSjTL6sgxbtXjXB?si=649f2e873c8a4e64)

The Doctor had feelings not too long after you joined him on his adventures through time and space, he already took a liking to you after literally bumping into you in a chase from aliens in disguise on Earth, after that fiasco, he asked if you wanted to join him in some adventures, just to make you sure and to let you know what adventures he’s referring, but not so long after, it became more often that you joined him on traveling anywhere in space and time.

The more often you joined the Doctor on his adventures, the more he developed feelings for you, at first, he managed to convince himself that it was just admiration of your bravery and strength, but the first time he saw you hurt, even though it was just a mild injury, he felt his heart dropped, not being able to handle to see you in that state, so he was being careful in protecting you, and keeping you close to him.

But for you, It all started by telling Amy about your crush on the Doctor, nervous as you were, afraid of her reaction, it was an anxious moment, but thankfully, she was supportive of you and wanted to help out. The two of you were close and sometimes team up when it comes to bantering against the Doctor.

Right now, You were glancing at the two Doctors in the room, knowing one is a Ganger, you just didn’t know which was which, but you just listened to what plans and ideas they had in mind since you didn’t know what to contribute just yet.

One of the two Doctors ran with Amy to find Rory leaving you with the other Doctor in the room, you sighed trying to think what to do for now while waiting for them to return,

“I saw the way you looked at us.” the Doctor hummed,

“W-what do you mean by that?” you were cut off from your thoughts by him placing his finger on your lips, shushing you.

“Ah ah, you know what I mean, dear.” his voice suddenly was lower as he got closer and closer, making you nervous and jittery as you back onto the wall. Nervous, you just tried to question your way out, “What are you talking about?” you averted eye contact as he trapped you against the wall.

One of the Doctor’s hands grabbed your chin and made you face him, leaving you with no choice but to look at him,

“I saw how looked at him and me, you were nervous, yet intrigued by us talking, so my conclusion is you desire me? Am I wrong?” he smirks as his face was inches close from your face, you tried to push him away, but as soon as your arms were halfway up, his hands caught them and pinned them on the wall, above your head, “Oops, you’re not moving til you answer me.”

You gulped, not knowing his plan, your breathing became more unstable, hearing your heart beat so loud, that it could burst out your ribcage, 

“So what will it be, love? Do you love me?” The last word made your spine tingle as he leans his forehead against yours, 

“I-I…I, uh…” is all you managed to say, the Doctor was about to say something, before being cut off by the other Doctor,

“Oi! That should’ve been me!” The Doctor pried the other Doctor off of you, making the one stumble into the dark corner of the room,

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” The Doctor that saved you from the confrontation, asked as he looks at you, worried out of his mind, as he was looking for any signs if the other did anything bad to you.

Amy also rushed in as the Doctor from the dark was now walking towards you, “Information is a powerful thing…I was just putting a theory to the test…” he chuckles

“She’s mine, back off you Ganger!” he hissed making you and Amy look at him, surprised at what he just said.

Later on, after the whole conundrum had ended and the real Doctor had dropped off Amy and Rory at their house, it was now just You and the Doctor in the Tardis, awkwardly quiet for a bit.

The Doctor was fidgeting with the console of the Tardis, trying to distract himself from the thought of what he just said to you, wanting to save you from the Ganger that looked like himself, he thought it was odd that he had done it out of jealousy.--

You were about to say something, until the Doctor broke the silence first, “so I wanted to ask you something earlier..”

Your heart was racing again, nervous about what he would ask,

“What he said,.. Is it true?” he asked as he blushed a bit, an unusual sight for you since he never shows this side of him, 

“W-which one?” You sat down, burying your face out of embarrassment.

“I have been thinking, wishful thinking for a while…” he averted his gaze, his voice sounding a bit more gentle but firm before he sighs, hoping for the best outcome on what he was about to say.

“If it’s alright to say what I feel?” he asks as he pulled you close, wrapping you in his embrace, blushing, you just nodded, making the Doctor blush again, his eyes fluttering.

“I-I love you so much to the point I feel bad that I might have embarrassed both me and you from what I said earlier and I was afraid that he’d hurt you, and I don’t want that moment to be happening and taken by another version of me that’s going to make you change the way how you see me,” he admitted quietly as he buried his face in your shoulder, slightly embarrassed from the blabber as he held you tight, his feelings of jealousy subsiding, he hated hiding his feelings for you, but at the same time, didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so he thought it was best to keep his feelings to himself, but now, at least he doesn’t have to do that anymore, but was still afraid of your reaction.

“Oh Doctor…” You held his face, gently caressing it to calm his frantic nerves,  “If you really feel that in your heart, then let’s not waste any time.” You brush your lips against his before he initiated the kiss, it was gentle and sweet, and full of passion, after a bit, He pulled away, “You have no idea how much I wished for this moment.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Author’s Note: I am a sucker for confessing love stories, but I hope that this story isn’t too bad and I hope the concept I had in mind carried through, after all I wrote this story without using too much of my braincells, hope you enjoyed this though.)

[hauntingcryptids]

Characters I Write For

BBC Ghosts

All Characters

Only gender neutral, trans masc, trans male, or platonic requests for The Captain, please.

BBC Sherlock

All Characters

Doctor Who

All NuWho Regenerations of The Doctor

Canon Regenerations

Special Regenerations (Ex. Ganger!Doctor)

Alternate Universe Regenerations (Ex. Dhawan!Doctor)

All NuWho Regenerations of The Master

Canon Regenerations

Special Regenerations (Ex. Doctor!Master)

Alternate Universe Regenerations (Ex. Whittaker!Master)

The Doctor x The Reader x The Master (any NuWho regenerations)

All NuWho Companions

Ghost (The Band Ghost)

Papas

Cardinal Copia/Papa Emeritus IV

Era IV Ghouls

Aether

Sodo

Rain

Mountain

Swiss

Cirrus

Cumulus

Era V Ghouls

Ghouls Carried Over From Era IV

Sunshine

Aurora

Phantom

If there is a character that you are curious if I write for that isn’t on this list, please message me or send me an ask!

I am also going to list my Requesting Rules here. Please read those before requesting!

[melancholydreadfuldream]

deep end of a dream

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor x Reader & Ganger!Doctor x reader

Summary: You were in love with the Doctor but unfortunately the Doctor couldn't make up his mind between his feeling for you and for River. When an accident resulting in creation of another Doctor, will that be the answer everyone is hoping for?

Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, dark!doctor, etc. You have been warned.

More warning: English is not my first language so beware of the headache you will receive upon reading this.

    "Y-you are leaving the Tardis? Where are you going?"

  He smiled as he show you a vortex manipulator. "Cheap time travel but this will do. I can go anywhere anytime."

  "B-but..." You felt unwillingness to part with him. 

  "Two doctors in one Tardis? That could never work out." The ganger Doctor turned stabilized said. "I can't stay here." He took a step toward you, taking one of your hands in his. "I was hoping you would come with me."

  Your mouth dropped open in shock.

  "I mean I know I'm not the real Doctor..."

  "You are the Doctor." You insisted.

  He smiled solemnly. "You told him before that you are leaving him...leaving the Tardis."

  You did say that to the original Doctor before he took you and the Ponds to the flesh factory. You are done waiting for him, waiting for a man who could never love you properly. 

  "Come with me." The ganger Doctor pleaded.

  You didn't know what to say.

 7777

  You have been with the Doctor longer than any other companion. You first met the Doctor in his tenth incarnation while he was with Rose. You soon fell in love with the Doctor but has to endure heartbreak as he only has eyes for Rose. After losing Rose, the Doctor dropped you at home and didn't come back for you for a long while. He said you are better off without him. You pleaded him to let you stay but he cruelly ignored you.

  You met the Doctor on board of the valiant courtesy of the Master. The Master somehow found out about your feeling for the Doctor and use it against you and the Doctor. You were there as a hostage and as the Master's plaything. He likes to rub it that the Doctor doesn't love you. He basically outed your pathetic feeling for the Doctor.

  It was a very long and painful year. You were forced to watch as the Master torture the Doctor, regressed him into a sort of aged creature and put him in a cage as added humiliation. You met Jack, an immortal and a former companion of the Doctor. He was a hostage as well and his fate is worst than you. The Master likes to be variable in his method of torture. And yet, Jack is brave and still laughed in face of repeated tortures and deaths.

  Then you met Martha, the woman who walked the Earth, the storyteller, the one who saved the Doctor and the world. Like you, Martha was in love with the Doctor but the Doctor still hung up on Rose. After time is reset, Martha decided to stop travelling with the Doctor. 

  The Doctor apologized to you for getting you involved with his mess. You were sure he would turn you away again but instead he asked you to travel again with him and like the besotted fool you are, you agreed. But the two of you never talked about the elephant in the room which is your outed feeling for the Doctor. Both of you pretended that it didn't happen. But it was hard for you, traveling with the Doctor, interacting with him, discovering his many adorable quirk that made your feeling for him strengthen.

  Eventually, Donna joined you and the Doctor. She recognized your feeling for the Doctor immediately and she is being supportive of you despite you telling her about your love rival, Rose.

  During one of your routine adventure with Doctor and Donna, you met River Song. River seemed to know who you are and acted as if you and her are friends despite you have no idea who she is. You got jealous at how River confidently talked and keep up with the Doctor. You and Donna got uploaded inside CAL. After the Doctor saved everyone, you learned that River is dead and you felt guilty for being jealous of her before. That woman died to save everyone.

  Donna often likes to push you and the Doctor together. During a visit at Midnight, Donna pushes you to take a trip with the Doctor instead of spending time at the spa with her. You got under thrall of an unknown creature that possessed another passenger and the Doctor had to save you from it while stopping the rest of the passengers from trying to have you thrown out of the cabin.

  He kissed you and took the infection off you, rendering himself under the creature's thrall. You tried to save him too but it was futile. You tried to calm down everyone but it was like all of them has lost their rational mind. When you both finally survived the creature, you could only hugged each other in relief. You cried and accidentally tell him that you love him. But he was too distracted to respond.

  Many things happened so fast after that. Earth got stolen and Rose come back. So you and the Doctor never got a chance to talk about it. You don't know whether to feel sad or relief, after all, knowing your feeling is unrequited. It hurts watching the Doctor and Rose reunited. You could see how much they love each other through their interaction.

  Then, metacrisis Doctor Donna happened. After saving the universe, the Doctor left Rose and Metacrisis Doctor back on the paralel universe. You and the Doctor had to say goodbye to Donna whose memory got erased. You insisted of staying with the Doctor. You can't bear to let him be alone. Luckily, he didn't fight you about staying.

  He was lonely still. You weren't enough for him. You know this. It hurts. You let him use you. He soaked in your love for him.

  You stayed with him through his regeneration into the bow-tied man that you will eventually love too. Inside the crashing Tardis, you fell into the swimming pool and got a concussion for it. The newly-regenerated Doctor is very worried for you.

  You were wary of the new Doctor but he was very affectionate with you. He fussed over you. He treated your head wound. You eventually accepted that he is still the Doctor you know, just a little bit difference, well, a lot difference.

  The Doctor invited Amy to board the Tardis. You and Amy get along alright. She notices immediately about your feeling for the Doctor. You are wondering if you are really bad to keep your feeling a secret if anyone could know immediately.

  This version of the Doctor really is too affectionate. He loves hugging or taking your hand in his firmly. Sometimes you could almost believe he is flirting with you. But, of course, the Doctor remained vague regarding your relationship. You might be making a mistake by staying. As you expected, the more you know this new Doctor, the more your feeling for him grow even more, one might say it was like a cancer.

  You and the Doctor met River again. Your heart is broken again when you heard the Doctor confirmed Amy's teasing that River is indeed his future wife. But the threat of the weeping angels distracted you enough from letting yourself drown in misery.

  River is very nice with you, still saying that you and her are friends. When you two are alone, you decided to ask whether she is really married to the Doctor. She only gave you a really annoyingly vague answer.

  You are done. You wanted to leave the Doctor. You will not stay and pined for a married man. But River seemed to figure out your line of thinking and pleaded you to stay. She said the Doctor need you and that someday you will have to save the Doctor. You don't know if she is lying however you have no choice but to stay in case she really is saying the truth.

  Afterward you tried to keep your distant with the Doctor. Both the Doctor and Amy noticed. Amy tried to comfort you, knowing your reasoning.

  Rory eventually joined inside the Tardis too. It's getting kind of crowded in the Tardis but you didn't mind. You also get along nice with Rory.

  While the Doctor and Amy are kind a bit reckless, you and Rory become their voice of reason...somewhat. You would even said you and Rory are probably the sane ones. The Doctor and Amy would jump and greet dangers together while laughing a bit like maniac. They often ganged up against you and Rory, calling you both the boring ones.

  7777

  "The Doctor is a selfish old man. You will be waiting for a long time for him, poor little (name)." The Dream Lord had mocked you. "And he will let you wait for him instead of letting you go. He is that cruel."

  You hated that everyone seemed to know your feeling for the Doctor. 

  "You are right, little (name), he is like a cancer. You better run before he takes over you completely." He said.

  He is reading your mind. How can he be reading your mind like this?

  "But I suppose, it was already too late for you, eh?"

  When they finally defeated the Dream Lord, you can't help but wonder if the Doctor can read other people's mind after he admitted that the Dream Lord is in fact a darker version of himself.

  7777

  Tears falling from your cheeks as you watched the somewhat weary Doctor sitting inside Pandorica, readying himself to fly toward the exploding Tardis.

  River had explained that when he did that, he will be erased from time. You can't accept that but it is not like your opinion matters to him. 

  The Doctor looked a bit sad when you said that to him. "You always matters to me and I do listen to you but in this case, you know it is the only way."

  You wiped your tears furiously. "River said you can't come back...that you will be trapped on the wrong side... We would have never met at all." You whispered with a crack in your voice as more tears falling from your cheeks.

  He smiled as he put a hand over your cheek. "Oh, my dearest (name)...I'm sorry...It seemed that I always ended up hurting you..."

  You blinked at him in confusion before you realized he was talking about your feeling for him. You tried to smile. "It's alright, Doctor, I know you don't feel the same for me. I'm just glad that you let me stay. Being with you..."

  "...is hurting you and yet you stays with me through everything..." The Doctor cut in. He looked at you with a sad look. "I don't deserve you."

  You shook your head at that. "Don't say that. It was my choice to stay with you. You show me the wonder of the universe and more. I would always be grateful for that. I love you, Doctor, I'm not sorry that I do and...you shouldn't either. I don't regret you so please don't..." You trailed.

  He smiled as he drew you closer and kissed your forehead. "Live a good life, my (name), find your happiness no matter what happen..." He murmured to you.

  You left him and told Amy to go to the Doctor.

  "People fall out of the world sometimes, but they- they always leave traces, little things you can't quite account for. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely, and, if something can be remembered, it can come back." You heard him says that to Amy.

  River stood by your side. She was staring at the Doctor and Amy with a solemn look. Her eyes are glassy.

  "It will be alright. He will come back." You said to her suddenly. You don't know why you said that. Maybe your faith in the Doctor is still strong, making you believe that he will overcome this and you need to share that faith with those who love him as you do.

  River looked surprised at your words. She smiled kindly at you and took one of your hand in hers.

  The world exploded and rebooted. Everything felt like it was spiraled out of your control. When you come to, you were sitting in your favorite park bench with a book in your hands. You blinked as you tried to shake off the feeling of loss and grief within your heart but you have no idea why you felt like that.

  As you stared blankly at space, you heard the wheezing sound of the Tardis. At first, you are confused as you no longer recognized that sound. Then the blue box appeared a few feet away from you and your memory started to return. You dropped your book as you stood up and walked cautiously toward the box.

  The Doctor, dressed in a suit and a top hat, walked out of the Tardis. "Come on, (name), we will miss Amy and Rory's wedding." He said.

  "Doctor?" You whispered. 

  He smiled brightly at you.

  You walked toward him and tentatively touched his arms as if wanting to make sure he is real. Tears filled your eyes once more and you hugged him tight. He hugged you back, rubbed your back in gesture of comfort before he pulled you inside the Tardis.

  He explained to you how Amy brought him back just as he predicted. He had just been crashing the Pond's reception and he was trying to move the Tardis out of the ballroom for space. It was then he come back for you.

  As you got out of the Tardis and into the ballroom with the Doctor, Amy grinned and pulled you into a hug.  "I'm so glad you are here, (name)." she said.

  You smiled at both Amy and Rory. You complimented her. She looked beautiful in her wedding dress. The two of you had a good laugh when you both saw how the Doctor danced a giraffe dance with the kids. 

  You smiled fondly as you watched Amy and Rory danced together. You are glad that they have got their happy ending.

  The Doctor stood beside you with a fond smile. "2000 years. The boy who waited." He said.

  You noticed River outside the windows, smiling and then leaving. You told the Doctor that you saw her and the Doctor goes to her, saying something about having to return her diary to her. You watched him go with a somewhat bittersweet smile.

  7777

  The Doctor invited you to watch his death in Lake Silencio. How can he be this cruel? Both you and Amy can't cope, seeing his painful death. Rory and River are the ones who still did as the Doctor told, still wanting to complete the mission given to them.

  Then a younger version of the Doctor appeared before you screwing your mind even more. River explained it to you and the Ponds regarding the Doctor and the rule of time. She made you and the Ponds swore never to tell the Doctor about his death back in Lake Silencio.

  In America, you have another talk with River. She insinuated that the Doctor has feeling for both you and River. But you already know that the Doctor would never pick you so why are you still insist to stay with him? Are you really this foolish? He is stringing you along just like the Dream Lord said. Are you this pathetic that you will let him do that forever?

  You made up your mind about leaving the Doctor and the Tardis. It was time you stop waiting for a man who would never love you properly. You felt a bit guilty about leaving the Ponds to deal with the upcoming death of the Doctor but you found you no longer can stand be around him anymore. 

  You told the Doctor about leaving. He look like a sad kicked puppy much to your guilt. He convinced you to stay until he can give you a proper last hurrah.

  Next thing you know, there are two Doctors, one of them is a ganger. You tried to keep your distance from both Doctors. You thought it was the only way for you to leave, stop caring for the Doctor, harden your heart. But you found you couldn't ignore the Doctor especially in the face of death so when the original Doctor decided to let the ganger Doctor stay behind to die, your mind just flashed back into that dreadful day at Lake Silencio and you just 'nope' so bad as you lost your marble and forced the ganger Doctor to come on board of the Tardis.

  Of course you know, the ganger Doctor is just that, a ganger but the original Doctor is the one who treated the ganger as something more and now he's just gonna let him die? The Doctor is the one who said a ganger has all their counterpart's memories. The ganger Doctor is essentially the Doctor too, so how can you let him die?

  You pleaded like crazy with the ganger Doctor not to sacrifice himself. The ganger Doctor tried to get you to go with the original Doctor, telling you that your Doctor is safe with you but there is no reasoning with you. He eventually relents when you gave him ultimatum to get inside the Tardis or you stay here with him and die together. Deep down, you were yelling at your stupidity but you could only feel relieved when he finally surrender to your wish for him to stay alive.

  You heard the Doctor telling all the gangers on board of the Tardis about how the energy inside the time ship will stabilized them and made them a real person. You wondered if the ganger Doctor is a full Time Lord or become a human but you didn't ask, still in somewhat shock state. You wondered what the original Doctor must think of you and how the ganger Doctor will fit in the Tardis. Maybe you messed this up but you could hardly regret the Doctor, any Doctor, for long.

  There is no time to concern with the issue of ganger Doctor though when both Doctors finally revealed the truth about Amy being a ganger too.

  7777

  After rescuing Amy and losing baby Melody and to finding out River is Melody, you could finally have time to yourself. You wondered if leaving the Doctor is still something you wanted. 

  River is on board of the Tardis and shamelessly flirted with both Doctors. 

  You snorted to yourself. What were you thinking? Now that there are two Doctors, one of them will choose you? How stupid you can be? There is part of you who now wonder which Doctor died in that Lake Silencio, the original or the ganger? You wondered if your motive of rescuing ganger Doctor is as shallow as hoping one of them will pick you or as cruel as to have replacement Doctor to face death in Lake Silencio. But it was hardly your problem now. You decided you still have to leave.

  That's when the ganger Doctor come to you with his proposition. "Come with me, (name)." He pleaded.

  Your mouth dropped open in shock. "W-why?"

  He smiled. "I am alive because of you. Is it a wonder I would like to spend the rest of my life with you?"

  "B-but..." You wanted to ask him about River but your mind stop you short. That was probably not a nice thing to ask. Of course, River will get to be with the original. The Doctor and River Song in the Tardis. You were always the spare and now it seemed this Doctor is too. 

  He looked insecure now. "I understand if you didn't want to. I just want a chance to be the man that you deserve."

  Without thinking, you pulled him closer and kissed him. As you broke the kiss, he stared at you solemnly before suddenly burst into adorable giggle which in turn make you smile.

  7777

  The ganger Doctor switched his name into John Noble. You smiled at his chosen surname in honor of Donna Noble. 

  You and John traveled the universe every time you can but it was limited due to the limited ability of the vortex manipulator. He was working on making a better and safer version of vortex manipulator though.

  You both picked a place to be called home since you both got no Tardis as home-base. He made your dream house, a small cottage with white picket fence and he even got you a dog. 

  "How did you even get all of this?" You asked.

  "I am still technically the Doctor, you know. I have friends in high place." He said as he made a motion with his hands.

  You laughed as you hugged your new pet companion. You and John had a funny banter about naming the dog. John insisted that he speaks dog and the dog wanted to be called some silly, really long name.

  7777

  You eventually married John. It was hard at first as you were still riddled with insecurity, believing that he will somehow grew tired of you and left on his own. He had assured you many times that he would never abandon you. He murmured about how he can hardly believe that the other Doctor actually let you go with him. You asked him what he is talking about but he distracted you with hug and kisses. You eventually believe him and accepted his marriage proposal.

  "I wanted to grow old with you." He told you.

  That honestly the nicest thing the Doctor ever said to you, well, technically it wasn't really the Doctor who said it. it was John. Suddenly your mind flashed back into Rose and metacrisis Doctor. Were the two of you similar to them in some way?

  You have a happy marriage with John. There were some up and down. He, in some way, is the Doctor so naturally he can't quite cope to stay in one place too long. Sometimes he took you to sightseeing and have your own adventure which thankfully does not include some deathly crisis. Sometimes he goes on his own, those days are hard for you, worrying he will not come back for you.

  One day, he returned home injured. He was not alone. Jack Harkness is with him. You were surprised to see him again and really scared upon seeing the injured John. Apparently someone thought John is the Doctor and attempted to kill him. Had it not for Jack, he would have died. Thankfully, his injury is not fatal. In fact, one might say, he is quite lucky. You know John still have some Time Lord qualities in him, he can't regenerate but he has a somewhat rapid healing ability.

  Tears fell on your cheeks as you repeatedly punched John in his arms much to his dismay. "You are grounded forever, you jerk!" You yelled.

  Jack is amused as he watched your interaction with John before the smile slide off his face. "You two need to hid. The world, right now, is against the Doctor and John having his face will not help his case."

  "What do you mean? What happened?" You demanded.

  Jack and John exchanged a look with each other.

  "It's the Doctor." Jack said grimly. "He did something."

  "Did what? What are you talking about?" You asked suddenly feeling scared on top of all the confusion.

  "He is not the Doctor we used to know any longer, (name). He's changed. And I didn't mean he regenerated and has a change of personality again. I mean, he's changed." John said.

  You stared at John. "You met him?"

  John shook his head. "I didn't. But I saw the trail of destruction he left behind." He said grimly.

  You stared blankly at your husband. "I'm sorry, did you just say a trail of destruction?"

  John and Jack nodded somberly at you.

  "No, you're wrong. We are talking about the Doctor here. He is not..."

  "You don't know the Doctor as much as you think you do, (name)." John replied.

  "But... John, you believe that the Doctor...you are capable of this...??"

  "Well..." John laughed harshly. "...we didn't get the name oncoming storm for nothing you know..."

  You shook your head. "No. Something must have happened to him. Maybe someone controlled his mind. He would not do whatever it is you think he did." You stubbornly said.

  "(name)..." John called out with a sigh.

  "No!" You left your husband and Jack as you went into the garden. 

  You walked back and forth as you tried to come to term with what John had said. You picked up your smartphone and your fingers hovered over the Doctor's Tardis number. You bit your lips and you called him on your phone.

  John suddenly pulled your phone out of your hand and smashed it into the ground.

  "John, what the hell!!" You were angry but when you saw his expression which is a mixture of anger and fear, you become speechless.

  Jack entered the garden and told the both of you to run before the Doctor come for you both.

  John nodded grimly as he grabbed his vortex manipulator and sonic screwdriver before turning to you and said, "I know you are afraid, (name) but you have to trust me. Please trust me." He cupped your face as he is pleading for you to believe him.

  "I do trust you, John." You replied.

  "Then you have to believe me. The Doctor is dangerous. He's a changed. And now we need to run before he came for us."

  "He would not hurt us!" You said, almost offended.

  John look saddened. "Maybe before. Now, I'm not so sure."

  What could possibly happened to the Doctor? You were very curious but also very afraid especially as you watched John loses his cool with each passing moments.

  7777

  You went on the run with John. He had used perception filter on the both of you. The people of the whole world is afraid of the Doctor but also they were trying to kill him. Since John had his face and everything, people might targeted him or might try to use him against the Doctor. He does has his memories. He could be a threat but mostly to the Doctor. As you realized this, you are very afraid for John.

  While on the run, you started to find out exactly what you feared that the Doctor has somehow turned evil and has set many planet on the course of destruction. You wanted to cry. What happened to the Doctor for him to change this much? John had told you about a prophecy of the Valeyard, a version of the Doctor turned evil, and now it seemed the prophecy is finally here.

  You are scared, wondering if your life with John will ever be safe again. There were a few times, people are able to see past the perception filter and that few times almost cost John his life. You almost hated the Doctor for putting you and John in deep end like this.

  You and John eventually found a safe place to stay. Each night you hugged him tight, afraid that you will lose him for good.

  7777

  You put out the grocery on the table at the small house you and John rented. You thought this day would come and goes as usual (it wasn't good but slightly okay) but of course the universe seemed to conspire against your happiness because as you went into the living room, you saw the Tardis. You gasped, feeling like someone just punch you in the gut.

  "Hello, my dearest (name)."

  You slowly turned around to face the Doctor. He was wearing a dark purple suit. His eyes looked weary but he was smiling at you like an old friend. "D-Doctor..."

  "You looked good. John has taken a good care of you." He said with approval.

  "John, where is he? What did you do to him?" You demanded.

  "John is safe...for now."

  You flinched at that. "W-what do you want, Doctor?"

  He smiled as he walked toward you. His hand hovered over your cheek before settling to touch your hair instead. "I miss my best friend. Just pop up for a visit."

  You are shaking and he noticed it. 

  He smiled in amusement but his eyes looked sad. "Seemed like you have heard some stories about me then..."

  You took a step back away from him. "Please just leave me and John alone."

  "I would if I could, dearest (name), but John had to go against me after everything I did for him." The Doctor said with disdain. "Gave him my first face and then he dare to go up against me?"

  "W-what?"

  The Doctor hummed. "I guess you didn't know."

  "Know what?"

  "That John has been aiding the resistance against me."

  You froze. John never told you that. He was always with you most of the time. How can he be aiding the resistance? But then again, part of you are not really surprised. John is the Doctor, after all, at least the part of the Doctor that is good. Is it a wonder that he will try to save the world from his other self? But you also want to slap him silly for putting himself in danger.

  "Don't hurt him." You begged. "Please don't hurt him."

  The Doctor tiled his head, observing you. "You love him." He sighed. "I guess you do since you left me and married the man."

  You flinched again at what he is insinuating. "You had your chance. You choose River. He choose me."

  "I know."

  "Doctor, what happened to you?"

  The Doctor laughed harshly. "Life, I guess. I lost the Ponds and I send River to the library a long time ago. Got a new companion. Clara Oswald. That impossible girl. You would have love her, (name), always keeping me on my toes, just like River." He looked sad now. "Always saving me, just like River. She splintered herself, you know, just to save my life. Having to be reborn again and again and died for the Doctor. I saved the original but I lost her again."

  "What happened to her?" You asked. 

  "They took her from me and made it impossible for me to save her. I made them pay for what they did." He said with a faraway look on his face. "I've lost so much." He whispered sadly. "No more." He added grimly before turning his intense gaze on you.

  You flinched under his gaze.

  "Come with me."

  "W-what?"

  "I need you, (name). You have always been there for me before. I hurt you so many times, ignoring your feeling for me, taking you for granted...and now I can’t stand be apart from you any longer."

  You shook your head. "N-no. I can't be with you. I'm with John now."

  He looked sad when you said that and then a darker expression crossed his features. "You are happy with a cheap copy?" He laughed mockingly at you.

  You glared at him. "He's not a cheap copy! He is a better man than you are!"

  The Doctor laughed again and stopped short. "I know."

  You stared at him in confusion with the way he acted. He said something cruel and the next he looked remorseful.

  "I would have like for you to come quietly with me. I guess I have no choice." He said as he pulled a sonic screwdriver at you.

  You recognized the sonic screwdriver as John's. You felt sudden fear for John. "What did you do? Doctor, what did you do to him?"

  He snapped his fingers as the Tardis door suddenly opened. "Go ahead. He's in there."

  You were hesitate at first but at the mention of John,  you quickly went inside. You saw John on the Tardis floor, groaning in pain. "John!" You called out as you bend your knees near him. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" Tears started to fell from your cheeks again.

  "(name), run..." John whispered at you.

  The Doctor went inside the Tardis but remaining standing on the doorway. He gazed at both you and John flatly.

  "What did you do to him?" You demanded.

  "Oh, I just reverse him. Your husband will turn into a yogurt again soon." The Doctor chuckled cruelly. "Funny that, yogurt..."

  "Stop it! Just stop it! What do you want?!" You yelled.

  "I told you what I want, (name)."

  "What could you possibly want from me? Why are you doing this?"

  He hummed. "You were always so loyal to me, (name). Back when I was sand-shoes, he treated you badly and still you stayed throughout his remaining life. You also stayed for me despite having a hard time to accept that I am still the Doctor, despite knowing what River is to me. That's why I allowed you to save him. That's why I allowed you to leave me for him. You deserve better." He said as he moved toward you, kneeling before you and cupped your face. "The first face this face saw... You are very dear to me, (name). I thought I could give you the same thing sand-shoes gave Rose. But now I realized I couldn't just let you go." He sighed. "The Dream Lord is right to warn you, (name), should have run from me. And now, I can't just let you go any longer."

  "Doctor, please...don't do this."

  The Doctor released you and stand up moving away from you. "So, I'm going to give you a choice, stay with me and I save your yogurt husband or refused me and well, he's yogurt...but I will still take you with me anyway." He chuckled. "Not much a choice I guess."

  You glared hatefully at him. You turned to John in sorrow. "Fine. You win. Save him and I will go with you. But you have to leave him alone. No turning him back into a ganger."

  "Deal." The Doctor grinned boyishly at you. You used to love that grin but now all you felt is hollow. He raised a hand toward you.

  "Please let me say goodbye to him first."

  He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Make it quick."

  John groaned as the Doctor sonic-ed him into a stable condition. "(name), what did you do?"

  "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." You whispered to him. "I have to go with him."

  John's eyes widened in fear. "No, (name), he is not himself. He is dangerous."

  "I know, I have no choice. He will turned you back into a ganger otherwise. Can he really do that?"

  John nodded in forlorn. "Unfortunately we are smart enough to do that."

  The Doctor snorted at that.

  You glared at him, demanding privacy and to your surprise, he did leave. You turned back to John. "At this rate, you have to become the Doctor that the world needs, John. He told me about the resistance."

  "I'm sorry. I was careless. He found out."

  You shook your head. "Then you have to be better, John. You have to. You are so much more than him." You said as you caressed his cheek lovingly. "I love you."

  John pulled you close and kissed you.

  "Alright, that's enough." The Doctor said.

  You reluctantly stood up and leave John to stand by the Doctor's side. You glanced at the Doctor. "Give me your words that you will not harm him ever again."

  "I promise as long as you stay with me, John Noble will be safe."

  You watched as the Doctor moved around the console, readying the Tardis for take off, leaving John behind.

  7777

  He acted too hard to be like the way it was before, pretending to be the Doctor and his companion traveling the universe, except the universe hates him now. And to you, he was no longer your friend or the man you used to loved. You yearned to be with John but you know you can't. 

  He started acting like he was John. He took you on a date night, gave you chocolate and flowers. You played along to his whims, dressed in his chosen dress, dance with him and let him kiss you. Thankfully, he didn't demand you to have sex with him. You couldn't cope otherwise. But he made you sleep in the same bed as him in a room he choose to be yours and his now.

  He took you out sightseeing so many times. He even took you to a villain gala. You didn't even know that was a thing. You felt sick how the guests of that ball greeted the Doctor as if he is the star of the show or something. It was there you first met Missy. The Doctor introduced her to you and told you that Missy is actually Mistress, another name for the Master. You can hardly believe that the Doctor is actually in a good speaking term with the Master, the man that used to torture the previous Doctor back on the Valiant during the year that never was.

  Missy recognized you and predictably mocked you and your situation. You were furious when you learned she is the reason why John got caught by the Doctor. But it's not like you can do anything to her. You were mad and you left the Doctor's side. You refused to be taken to this sort of party. Despite angry at you for disobeying, he agreed not to take you to a villain gala again.

  "I meant I know you are always so attached with your pets, Doctor, but this is ridiculous. Sooner or later, you will lose her too, she is only human after all." You heard Missy said to the Doctor.

  The dark expression that crossed his feature made you really, really nervous.

  7777

  You pleaded the Doctor not to force immortality on you but he ignored you. 

  With the help of Missy, the Doctor got his hand on a drug or some technology that can prolong your life. He insisted to make you immortal just like Jack. He said he didn't want to lose you. He said he won't let anyone take you from him. Honestly, he made you very afraid.

  And then he took you to a planet called Trenzalore where he released Gallifrey upon the universe. He didn't care that the planet got burn in the fight between Gallifrey and its enemies. With the help of the Doctor, if you can even called him that anymore, Gallifrey won. The Doctor was given a new set of regeneration as a reward from Rassilion. He thanked him for the reward and then proceed to kill him, proclaiming himself as the new president of Gallifrey.

  After getting what he wanted from Gallifrey, he left the planet alone and took you back into the Tardis.

  You couldn't believe him. He just do all those cruel things without blinking, not an ounce of remorse in him. Was the Doctor truly lost forever? And this man, he still claimed to be the Doctor, undoing the real Doctor's life work by turning everything upside down and burn down everything good. He found glee in soiling the name 'Doctor'.

  And yet what it is with his obsession with you? He never care about you to that point before. Missy eventually explained what being the first face an incarnation saw meant. You finally got what you wanted, a special place in the Doctor's hearts, but why does it has to be like this?

  Missy offered you a way to escape but you were suspicious about her intention. "Frankly I don't care whether you stay with the Doctor or not as long as you and him continue to provide me with entertainment. Sure, I could help you escape him without him ever knowing I help you. But you should know, he would never stop searching for you if you do. He would even burn planet after planet just to get to you. It would be fun to watch, well, for me anyway." She said.

  How can you tried to escape when the price of freedom is other planet and its people dying because of you? You are not a martyr but even so you are not that selfish. And so you stayed by his side, trying your best to rein him in when possible. You learned he is willing to be merciful in your presence. You took full advantage of it in hope to save some.

  You thought of John. He was your only hope. You hope he could somehow save the world but if he can't, you can only hope he will be okay wherever he is. As you thought of your immortality, you couldn't help but cry. You were supposed to grow old with John. You don't even know how many years has passed since last you saw him.

  7777

  Hope resurfaced within you when you heard news about John being active in resistance, outsmarting the Doctor in his scheme. You only found out because the Doctor lost his marble after being outsmarted by John. 

  "I should have turn him back into a yogurt..." He said begrudgingly.

  You glared at him. "You made a promise to me, don't you dare break it."

  "Given the chance, you would have run back to him, wouldn't you? Perhaps I should make sure that you won't have anyone to return to but me." He said with a cruel smirk.

  "I am here with you as you wanted. Don't you dare harm John."

  "Fine, I won't." He said but the look in his eyes made you suspicious.

  "You are not allowed to scheme against him!"

  "Oh, my dearest (name), don't you worry about me hurting that yogurt husband of yours. I won't need to lift a finger against him. I know someone who would very much like to do it." He said. "She has always hated my old-self. She would probably have as much fun as me to rile him up. John Noble, the stand-in Doctor."

  You realized he was talking about Missy. You froze in fear. "No, make her stop."

  "No one can stop Missy once she set her eyes on something. She has always been stubborn especially when it comes to me." He said with a smirk. "But, hey, don't worry, John is basically me, right? He will do fine."

  "I hate you." You said.

  His smirk faltered.

  You turned around and left him in the console room.

  7777

  You were forced to watch another planet he conquered just because of boredom. He proclaimed himself as King and you his Queen. It was all very stupid, in your opinion. He made you wear a stupid crown proclaiming that crowns are cool. When he said that, you just remembered the old Doctor who kept telling everyone how bow-ties or fezzes are cool. It made you miss the Doctor terribly.

  This version of the Doctor, once in a while, made you wondered if the old Doctor still resides within him deep inside but then whenever he did, he would started acting up and did something horrible to someone else as if making up for showing weakness.

  You were once attacked by a member of resistance. You thought they hope to hurt the Doctor by killing you. But by then, you were already turned as an immortal by the Doctor. The Doctor was so furious and there is nothing you can do to make him show mercy. He lets loose the oncoming storm toward those who conspire against him in retaliation. After that, once you were both at your room, he would hug you tight and won't let go as if he is fearing that you will disappear. It made you think how lonely and sad he must be. You hugged him back. 

  He tricked you into marrying him, dangling the fate of a planet to do it. "I'm going to give you something that John didn't." You were very confused with what he meant. "I'm going to give you my name."

  Your eyes widened in shock. River is the only one who know his name before. Why is he doing this? What was the point? You were very frustrated. "John Noble is the only name that matter to me." You said.

  He ignored you, forcing you instead to follow some Gallifreyan ritual.

  "Smile for the camera, dearest (name)." The Doctor whispered to you. "I'm sure that yogurt husband of yours is watching us got married live."

  You recoiled from him but he made a firm grab of you to keep in position as he finished the ritual.

  You heard Missy made a quip about how cruel the Doctor is to you. Well, duh. But apparently, she meant the ritual because the ritual forced a mental bond to form between you and the Doctor. You might be immortal but you were not made for a mental bond.

  "She will learn to adapt with it." You heard the Doctor said. "We have forever to do it."

  Honestly you hated these mental bond. You have no privacy even in your own mind. He likes to invade your mind and take a look of your memories. You screamed at him to leave you alone. You wanted to cry. You are losing your mind and he know it. Thankfully he relents and left your mind alone for the most part.

  7777

  One day, while the Doctor is out with Missy, John appeared on board the Tardis and he gave you a small gemstone and told you to hold it close on your person. He said he knew what the Doctor did to you and that gemstone could stop him from invading your mind, blocking him so to speak.

  You were happy to see him but also scared. He told you not to worry about him. He said he went back to Gallifrey and now he is as much as a real Time Lord as the Doctor. He said the Doctor can no longer turned him into a ganger so you need not to worry anymore. You can come home with him.

  At first you are reluctant, worrying about what Missy had said about the Doctor never stop looking for you if you escape and will burn everything in his path in order to get to you. You are also worry for John himself should the Doctor figure out wherever you escaped to.

  But John make a convincing argument and so you took his hand and left the Tardis.

  Only to find out John is not real. It was always the Doctor, trying to test your devotion and you failed the test.

  "You wanted to see John so much? Fine, I will let you see him." The Doctor said angrily.

  The Tardis landed somewhere. The Doctor pulled you harshly outside where he forced you to see a gravestone. John's name is craved on the gravestone.

  You were shocked to say the least. With a trembling fingers, you touched the carving of his name on the gravestone.

  "I didn't harm him, if that is what your thinking. Missy didn't either. He died. The people he fought for turned against him and killed him."

  "No, you are lying!"

  "Am I? You are welcome to investigate his death, (name). You know Jack Harkness, don't you? I'm sure he will help you with your investigation. Once you satisfy your curiosity, come and find me." The Doctor said.

  7777

  You were furious. The Doctor didn't lie. They did turned against John. They killed him. The best part of the Doctor, and they thoughtlessly killed him. And now the world is doomed forever with the Doctor that no longer quite the Savior. Frankly, right now you no longer care about the fate of these people.

  You walked absentmindedly toward the coordinate of the Tardis which your darling husband helpfully put into your mind. 

  The Doctor watched you as you entered the Tardis. "Welcome home, (name)."

  "I'm home..." You replied blankly.

       A/N: I have no idea what I write here. I was desperate to produce a new dw fanfic since I only have a day left of holiday before going back to work, hoping not to waste my time just imagining and no writing, I finally able to write this. I watched a few of my favorite dw episodes and my mind ended up get stuck in the idea of ganger!doctor hence this happened. 

I hope you likes this story and if you do, please kindly drop comment and more. Honestly I'm so nervous about posting this.

I would like to say thanks to those who follow my blog and has drop a like/comment/reblog to all of my past stories. Thank you so much for making me so happy. Stay awesome, everyone!

[supernova-variations]

11th Doctor, Goodbye universe

11th Doctor x reader warnings: angst. honestly guys, r u okay? almost all of my requests are angsty. word count: 800 request:  request for eleventh doctor where reader comforts him after losing amy and rory w a lil bit of angst :) A/N: i know the request was a bit different but i had no idea how to write the 11th doctor in this scenario. at times, he seemed so consumed by grief that he was irrational and almost scary. do you know what i mean? i also had much trouble with writing this. i don’t know. it’s just angst is not my main area of expertise. 

“Goodbye universe”

‘Hello universe’ –  the first thing the Doctor has ever said to Y/N, pulling all the funky leavers, giving her the key to new worlds undiscovered by humanity. A moment that was to be the ‘albatross around his neck’, reminding him not to be cowardly in the future, as he wandered across the galaxy, wearing a new face. Y/N’s name leaving an imprint on his ship’s console.

Y/N cherished all the moments tinted by the strands of Amelia’s red hair and Rory’s soft chuckles. What came after, touched by the cold hand of a Weeping Angel, lost its colours. Reality became a mere washed-out photograph, robbed of people that were no longer there.

But no more. He would save her. Even if it turned her into the last page of a book left unread, never to be finished, hung in the limbo of unspoken goodbyes. He would give her freedom by robbing her of the only choice had left.

They stood at the doorstep of Y/N’s home, rain sogging their figures. The universe was grieving with them, the dark sky above them breaking and wiping out the hopeful light of stars. Rory and Amelia died many years ago, only to be commemorated right now, their voices echoing in an empty Tardis.

“You want to be alone, I understand.” Y/N was trying to reason with him, wet hair sticking to her tear-stained face, eyes full of fright. The Doctor snapped away as she reached to stroke his cheek. His shoulders, burdened by grief, pulled him down, making the movements sharp and uncontrolled.

“You don’t want to do this.” The girl’s hands trembled as she grabbed onto the sleeves of the Doctor’s striped jacket, trying to grasp the last touches she could be granted while he was still there. Y/N wanted to remember how extraordinary he felt, even though the light he cast out with his presence was long gone. “You can’t push me away like this, you need me. Now that there’s only two of us.” The tears rolled around Y/N’s chin, dripping onto her jacket, making it more damper than it already was.

He seemed mad, out of place, and old. The person he was before fleeted from his body, remains buried at the bottom of his deep-brown eyes, flickering with rage and sadness. The boy that she knew, chasing stars and unknown planets, was gone. He left with the first-face-this-face-saw. Amelia Pond chose her husband and Y/N was there to pick up the pieces. Only the Doctor wouldn’t let her.

“You don’t understand.” He spitted out with rage, pressing his fists against tightly close eyelids.

“You want to save us, but we’re not yours to save, Doctor.” She said coldly and uncovered the anguished face of the Time Lord. The least he could do was look at her. “You wanted me when it was all about the never-ending race, but as soon as it gets difficult you choose to abandon me. That’s not what family does, Doctor.”

“Who said I was your family?” The dead expression on his face made her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces, that were to be spread across the galaxies. They would become the traces of what she saw, could see, and would never lay her eyes upon. “You don’t let go of a family.” He turned his back to her, stepping out into the pouring rain. “Try to see what I see.”

The Doctor was a witness of things she wouldn’t believe and could never understand. At least for now, as she was only to experience true grief – the death of herself. Gradually, Y/N would forget all the good bits. The pure smile and dimples in his cheeks would be replaced with the moment he didn’t want to be touched by her. Memories about travels in time in space would always reach its conclusion at the moment he refused to be her family. Waking up in a cold bed, living her mundane life, she would think of what she has done wrong, wanting to swap places with Amelia.

Deep inside both of them knew – if it was the other way around, he wouldn’t have abandoned the Ponds. He was Amelia’s raggedy and imaginary Doctor, leaving a hole in her childhood. As his own redemption, he intertwined their fates among the stars, becoming the castor of improbable dreams. He did good by Amelia. Because he had to. With Y/N, the atonement would never come.

Months later she did what he asked her to: she tried to see what he had seen.

She wished wsomeday, hopefully, he would read the last page of her book, allowing her to pay her farewells.

‘Goodbye universe’ Y/N would say to him, the song of Akhaten reaching her in her dreams.

[noforkingclue]

Hi i hope i dont overwhelm you with another request but can i ask for angst ganger!11th x reader where the doctor ganger gets on board of the tardis instead staying behind n get killed? While 11th choose to be with river, the ganger choose to be with the reader maybe? Thanks in advance.

Title: The Other Doctor

It hurt to look at them. The Doctor and River sitting so close to each other staring out into space. They didn’t need to say anything to you, their feelings were clear in their actions. You sighed softly as you turned away and headed back towards your room. There was no point of you being in the TARDIS any more. The Doctor and River had each other, you would only get in their way.

You started shoving clothes into your bag when a soft knock at your door dragged you out of your thoughts. You hesitated for a moment before opening it a crack. It was the other Doctor, the ganger version of him.

“Err, hey.” He said awkwardly

“Hey.”

“Can I come in?”

“Now isn’t a good time.”

“Oh.”

The other Doctor had such a crestfallen expression that you sighed and relented. It was frightening how they were exactly the same, even the facial expressions and personality. You wondered if they had the same feelings for other people. The ganger looked around your room and turned around when he saw your bag.

“You’re leaving.”

“You don’t say.”

“Why?”

“You… you can’t!”

“I can and I am.”

You walked over to your wardrobe and started pulling more clothes out of it.

“If that’s all you wanted to say then leave. I’m very busy.”

The ganger put his hand on top of your and you froze. When you didn’t pull away he gently turned your head to face him. You closed your eyes, not able to look at the face of the person you loved.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you leaving?”

“Companions leave all the time,” you shrugged, “Just my time to go.”

“You’re lying.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. Come on, you can tell me. I’m the Doc-“

“No you’re not!” you yelled, “You might look like him, sound like him, have the same feelings as him but you’re not him!”

“You’re right.”

“What?”

The ganger let go of you and moved away, facing away from you.

“I’m not him. Do you want to know one thing that makes us different?”

“Yes.”

“Our feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

“I love you y/n.”

You shook you head, tear pouring down your face.

“No, don’t you dare tell me that.”

“But I do,” he walking back up to you, “You are a wonderful, beautiful person. He can’t see that but I can.”

You shook your head. This couldn’t be happening. You spent all this time pining over the Doctor and now an exact copy of him was confessing his feelings for you.

“We could go away together,” he said putting his hands on your shoulders, “Just us. We could be happy together.”

“But what about-“

“I understand,” he said gently, “More than you know. If you ever want to leave you can. I’m not forcing you to do anything. It’s just an idea.”

There were two options in front of you. One lead own an ordinary, boring life while the other offered excitement, danger and the possibility of love.

“Yes,” you said, “Let’s do this.”

[supernova-variations]

update: what i’ve been writing

hello!  this account’s aim was to get me out of a writing-slump which - hurray hurray! - is finally gone. currently i’m focusing on my doctor who multichapter story with original characters. it’s basically a lesbian love story involving cyborgs, critique of capitalism and racism, and other fun stuff. so if you are interested.. i would be very happy to translate (i’m writing it in my mother language!) and publish it here after i’m done with it. the story is called ‘improbable dreams’ and i’ve started it two years ago. i finally kicked it off and i’m currently beginning chapter 10. the story has become my baby and it feels like coming back home after a long long time.  please let me know what you think about this idea i wouldn’t be able to write if it weren’t for this account. PS. i still plan to occasionally publish a requested one shot on this account! i’m not forgetting about you guys, it’s just that i’m currently channeling my energy towards this story. with much, much love, mary xx

[supernova-variations]

ganger!Doctor, ‘The ones that we lost’

(not my gif!)

ganger!11th Doctor x reader; 11th doctor x reader

warnings: angst, death

request:  Hey i love what you write for metacrisis doctor, can you also write something for 11th doctor ganger x reader? Metacrisis and ganger needs some attention too. Can be angst or fluff or both, up to you. Thanks in advance.

A/N: hey, i don’t know if you’ll be happy with the result, but one thing that came to my mind is  the the doctor loses a lot of people along his way, and they should not be forgotten. this one is about experiencing loss, trying to deal with it and finally accepting that the doctor is not as untouchable as he may seem. xx 

“The ones that we lost”

The one thing they don’t tell you about the Doctor is the constant shadow following the Time Lord’s every step. The shadow of death. The wonderful things, different people, the lost moons, the forbidden stars… all of it seems to overcloud the unpreventable doom of pain. Y/N knew all of this could be dangerous in just a split of a second – things could turn ugly, people could uncover their true faces, the lost moons could be nothing but deadly space-ships in disguise and forbidden stars… well, just leave them forbidden.

“I’ve just watched you die,” she whispered, placing the tips of her fingers on a wooden surface of the TARDIS’s door. Both of you were inside, safe and sound, but at what cost. The Doctor was there, at the reach of Y/N’s hand, but she has also just seen him being disintegrated into nothing but mere molecules. Or, someone that was so much like him.

“He wasn’t me. Not really. He talked like me, he thought like me, but he was an independent being.” The Doctor explained as if he was trying to calm her nerves down. Not knowing what to do with his hands, he adjusted the suspenders and turned his back to her, pretending to fiddle with the console.

He wasn’t okay himself. And she knew that.

“Does it ever stop hurting?” Y/N turned her back and focused her eyesight at the Doctor’s tense shoulders. She wasn’t trying to hide the tears anymore. The realization of what travelling with the Doctor was truly like paralyzed her senses.

She could taste the death on her lips. The bitter-sweet sorrow mixed with the dust of the disintegrated being that was and wasn’t the Doctor at the same time.

“No. You just make room for it,” he replied, adjusting the doorknob that was attached to the console. He couldn’t look her in the eyes. Although he had never promised Y/N that by travelling with him, she would never encounter sorrow, rage and the disillusionment of existence, he felt the guilt burning up his insides.

“I want to go home, Doctor.”

[hauntingcryptids]

All Works Masterlist

Ordered by fandom and then by character.

Special Masterlists are linked last.

Doctor Who

Eccleston!Doctor

Working On Requests 

Tennant!Doctor

Prank Wars - 17 August 2022

Smith!Doctor

So Where To First? - 2 January 2023

Ganger!Doctor

I’m Not Him - 4 January 2023

Second Best - 

Number One Priority - 

Capaldi!Doctor

Touched Starved - 5 January 2023

Speaking Up For Your Needs - 23 February 2023

The Professor Next Door - 

Whittaker!Doctor

First Proper Date - 28 October 2022

Impromptu Sleepover - 3 November 2022

Soaked Through To The Bone - 4 November 2022

Feeling Good - 15 November 2022

Runaway Makeout - 27 December 2022

Choosing You - 31 December 2022

New Dress - 17 January 2023

Keep It On - 14 October 2023

Wanted and Needed - 

Simm!Doctor

Breakfast And An Alien Attack - 30 September 2024

Dhawan!Doctor

Baked Devotions

Baking Hijinks - 5 September 2022

Scheming Timers - 7 September 2022

Apology Desserts - 9 September 2022

The Master’s Plan - 17 November 2022

An Afternoon With Tea And Books - 20 July 2023

New Attire - 23 July 2023

Changes - 

Why Not Me? - 

Simm!Master

Borrowed Black Hoodie - 29 October 2022

Soft Spot In The Hearts Of A Murderer - 24 February 2023

Gomez!Master

Exception - 24 August 2022

Taste Testing - 25 August 2022

Sneaking In - 29 August 2022

Never Leave Me - 31 October 2022

Break In Blurb - 2 November 2022

Warm On A Cold Night - 5 November 2022

Jealousy Looks Good On You - 16 November 2022

Secret Date - 26 February 2023

MI6 Agent O

One Good Day - 8 January 2022

O, What A Beautiful Morning - 21 October 2022

Share Your Coat And Jumper - 22 October 2022

Work Hard, Play Hard - 28 February 2023

Dhawan!Master

Frogs and Snails - 8 January 2022

Cuddling Headcanons - 8 January 2022

Protectiveness Headcanons - 8 January 2022

Heartbeat Headache - 28 March 2022

Alone - 29 March 2022

Sneaking Around - 30 March 2022

My Baby Doll - 19 August 2022

Quarantine Breakdown - 20 August 2022

Comfort Cuddles - 21 August 2022

Anything - 22 August 2022

Best Laid Plans Of Monsters And Masters - 28 August 2022

You Don’t Mean It - 31 August 2022

Sneaking Around Part 2 - 4 September 2022

Quiet Morning After A Disturbed Date - 18 October 2022

Library Day - 19 October 2022

A Little Thought - 26 October 2022

You Are More Than Your Failings - 27 October 2022

Fall For Me - 28 October 2022

Beg For It - 30 October 2022

Get Some Rest, Love - 11 November 2022

Trust In Me - 12 November 2022

Kidnapping Dates - 18 November 2022

My Brave Little Human - 19 November 2022

And His Heart Grew Three Sizes That Day - 25 December 2022

Look To The Future Now - 25 December 2022

My Baby Doll Part 2 - 22 February 2023

Drumming Noise Inside My Head - 1 March 2023

Torturous Flirting - 2 March 2023

Lie Down With Me - 6 March 2023

Belle Of The Ball - 29 March 2023

Safety Over Teamwork - 22 July 2023

Tell Me That I Belong To You - 12 October 2023

Back In The Old Cemetary - 16 October 2024

Stay With Me - 

Please Don’t Leave Me - 

Collectible Remains - 

Something Happens And I’m Head Over Heels - 

As The World Falls Down - 

Tennant!Master 

Working On Requests

Whittaker!Master

Back Against The Wall - 18 August 2022

Secret Lover - 3 September 2022

Plus One - 1 November 2022

Attempted Backstabbing - 4 March 2023

First Kiss -

First Time  -

Why Not Me? - 

Martha Jones

Bedside Manner - 5 March 2023

Our Flag Means Death

Frenchie

Sunlight - 11 April 2022

Strings and Makeshift Patches - 19 April 2022

Kissing Frenchie’s Hands - 20 April 2022

Edward Teach x Reader x Stede Bonnet

Waking Up Beside The Two Of You - 8 January 2023

Stranger Things

Eddie Munson

Shower Detox - 6 June 2022

Aftercare, I Love You - 28 December 2022

Breakfast Not In Bed - 3 January 2023

The Band Ghost

Phantom

You've Got Good Dreams - 15 October 2023

X-Men

Peter Maximoff

Dark Side Of The Moon - 1 January 2023

Special Masterlists

Autumnal Bash Masterlist 2024