#gang idk what going on with me i got liek

[turbineface]

all of powells problems would be solved if he stopped hopping on freak.com to hire new employees what the HECK 😡

[novelcain]

Hi! You can call me anon Ara and I absolutely love the triad au lmk thing! Like lmao it's funny but terrifying at the part where the reader got kidnaps and swk just go batshit over it but still we love protective monkeys😍

Speaking of monkeys swk and Macaque are both my fav but I'm more focused on Macaque(sorry swk you will be miss/lh) man just sits in the corner while playing games and let swk do his work, I'm living for that but I got some hcs for this monkey in this au

Like everytime when Macaque saw swk with his girl getting lovey dovey he goes "ew love and affection🤮" and he hate it, at least that's what he thought until he met someone he head over heels for liek another reader! Or a person, idk up to you like working in a cafe or a bakery or something up to you and how they became friends is maybe when Macaque visit the bakery or cafe to take some foods from swk order or anything and then the reader just greets him nicely and smh they spark up a conversation and then they share the same interest(theater show, shadow play thing) and now Macaque can't stop his heart beating rapidly

(oh uh is the six eared Macaque falling in love😳)

And then he ask swk for advice and then swk goes "what wrong BUD? I thought you hate love and affection😏" and tease the hell out of him and Macaque grumbles but gets the most helpful(hopefully) advice from swk and ask the traffic light trios(MK, Mei and Red son) for advice too and regret it cuz they start teasing him too

That's all I got, I love Macaque so much ugh and I absolutely love the au, sorry for ramble too much😔

OMFG! Ara anon I love your brain you inspired such a GALAXY level big brain idea!

What if Macaque was one day sent on a mission to find the hacker that's been shutting them down and leaking plans for weeks now. He tracks this person all the way to a rival gang where he finds... a young woman... in a locked room. 

The room was just barely large enough to hold a small mattress and a desk with at least five monitors crammed into it. The girl was currently typing anyway at her keyboard at a pace that would put even him to shame. She appeared to be upset and tired based on her scowl and eyebags. 

She clearly didn't want to be here. 

"My, my. What have we here~?" 

You whipped around to find the source of the voice within the dark room but found nothing. 

"A little bird stuck in a cage~?" 

The voice was suddenly right next to you, and you snapped your head around to find none other than The Six Eared Macaque from the triad you had been forced to target. 

You gulped as you tried to keep your composure. You knew this would happen. You tried to warn them, but they wouldn't listen. Sun Wukong doesn't take kindly to people getting in his way. 

And now you were going to pay the price. 

"Are you... are you going to kill me?" You asked. 

"Hmmm..." The demon tilted his head unsettlingly slow as he seemed to think over your fate. 

You jumped back in your chair as the monkey slammed his hands down onto either arm rest. His nose was nearly touching yours now as he bared his fangs in a menacing grin. However, despite feeling like you would break down into tears at any moment, you managed to keep your nervousness from showing. 

Interesting, he thought. 

"That depends~... Did you do this of your own free will, or were you forced too? Oh, and. Don't bother lying. I can hear your sweet little heartbeat~."

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

anyway here’s my two cents on who’s making the cut for these 10 shadowhunter romance stories!! (See Cassandra Clare’s latest announcement about better in black)

tid: idk i feel like this could be a rogue Sophie/gideon or cecily/Gabriel moment. or wessa with jem existing too. who really knows but all of the above i would enjoy <3

tlh: um maybe hopefully plz thomas and Alastair we barely got to see them actually be a couple I feel like so that would be fun. I would also love a luciejesse or herondaisy moment <3

tmi: um well OBVIOUSLY this is what I’m most excited for because i have a normal attatchment to the characters of the mortal instruments. ANYWAY i want sizzys proposal in full detail. we got the clace and the malec ones give them the lovely proposal that i deserve to read. pay them RESPECT. i would also looooove a clace story like any at all. i love and miss them dearly. I would also love a malec story with the kids bc we have literally hardly seen into their family life after they got Rafael but maybe that’s what tec3 is for idk cassandra doesn’t acknowledge its existence. but also if they’ve had two books I’m not exactly sure if she’s writing more about them. DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!! I would loooooove more malec content im not an IDIOT but like idk. but also they’re fan favorites so i just don’t know. im trying to see into cassandra’s mind and it’s not working. i would also actually drop dead to the floor and cease to exist if it was centered around the tmi gang as a whole going on a date night all together triple date moment!!! THATS what i want but i think that’s a bit idk it’s j not gonna happen. unfortunately for me. whatever ill take what i can get and reread the brunch story. I love the brunch story.

tda: well Cassandra’s use of the word throuple makes me assume it’s a safe bet to think one of them will be kierarktina but there’s also the delusional thought that she’s talking about herongraystairs. so idk abt that but yeah kierartina. a Diana and Gwyn moment would also be like somewhat shocking but fun and fresh. idk there’s not that many tda couples tbh. emma and Julian already got their moment in sobh and i don’t wanna read about them so I’m hoping it’s not them. idk

misc: the thing is i feel like this project is very ambiguous bc the theme is just live and romance so it could be anything like people who were never officially couples. unrequited love is fun. kit and ty moment. but also they’re the focus of twp so im just not gonna go there and Cassie may not either. i was also thinking abt this and a malcolm and annabelle story would be reallyyy interesting. also they don’t really fit into one specific series but they’re around in tec,tmi and tda bc they’re awesome i would LOVE a Helen and aline centered story like tell me about their time on wrangel island because we know next to nothing about that seemingly important place and what the hell goes on there. and helen and aline get fuck all in these books. anyway. that’d be a good time. also like. she said there may be some spice . but like i want love confessions and silly goofy character moments and actual stories not just characters going at it yk. so liek what are the vibes here cassandra…

this post got really fucking long for no reason feel free to leave YOUR thoughts on what you want to see in these stories <3

[thegoodceai]

afddighadfi <3333 sending all the hearts <33, sry for the late reply I had a Long Time at work but I had read your message and was also liek *twirling hair, kicking feet* trying to think of a fitting response !

Letsgo!! IF is soo good, I need to get more into IF if anything. Fallen Hero is Top Tier. Got a top three IF? And Nice! U a player or dming for them?

Aww! I'd love to know any info about her! Plz feel free to yell at me about her. Wuts her (current) name, design?, sign, The Demons (the story ur putting her through lol).

Bro! I've relatively done the same, I had waited so long to play Retri, wut ending did u get 👀👀👀. Ortega is just 😩😩😩

I hadn't heard of her nor the song, but checking it out I can definitely see why it's been on repeat <333.

We love little sharp bbies <3. Do u have a preference for color? Got a name picked out already lol?

Fair Enough, least they chase u with a stake. The Aesthetic and Seduction are unmatched I will give em that ;p. Oh! I know Of the series, but next to nothing what its about, wuts it about/what drew you into it? ((I know I could Google it, butt any excuse to get you to chat/yell more <3))

Thank you for replying to all my random questions lol. Been following for a long time, and in my mind ur already a Friend :))))

<3333 sending all the good vibes, i know we've been mutuals for a while and truly the one reaction i have every time we interact is Friend!!!!!

i am DMing for my friends, it was the only way to get them to play. i started out with only 2 players, just for some light fun, but i ended up with 5 now and a whole homebrew campaign that they can play around in and so far they do seem to be enjoying being chaotic gremlins with the side of Mystery Plot i threw at them

IF is amazing, i love the versatility of the format. idk if i could pick a true top 3, but for ones in progress ones i keep going back and replaying there's A Tale of Crowns (a favorite and one of the first ones i played, like 2 years ago when it was first released), Project Hadea, and Attolo. i love all of them dearly and cannot wait to see how they end up. for finished ones, i loveeeee Way Walkers University (i feel like it's so underrated, but i really like the style it is written in and how well developed the world of it is, there just so much and the variations you can play are huge), The Passenger (Roach my beloved), and i really liked I, The Forgotten One (been following this one before it was published, and it's truly not everyones' cup, but i found it compelling)

the story i'm working on is kind of fantasy adventure, heavily based on mythology and folklore (specifically romanian one), and i am planning to like, make it public at some point this year (still ironing and detailing some stuff, but the bones are solid, it's been rooting around in my brain for A While). the main cast are all variations of very very old ocs i have (originally for another story sort of in the same vein, but i'd like to think i grew a bit as a writer and they're more put together now, as well as the story itself). so imma hold on to the details about this whole thing for now but aaah thank u for being interested in it <3333

aah first ending i got was accident as sidestep, stayed as sidestep, and got the whole old gang involved in breaking them out of the hospital. i've been playing sidestep as a reluctant villain that's gunning for justice/exposing what the Powers That Be are actually up to (anarchist villain baby), all while being friendly with the Rangers and ended up keeping the cover so none of them know about the villain sidegig lmao. been trying to psych myself to play a fully evil sidestep but. it's hard. and i loooove playing reluctant and tired mcs that are done with everything but ultimately will do the right thing at any cost (tragic heroes my beloved)

16 year old me would have given anything to have a black cat named either Loki or Thanatos and you know what? they were right. but in reality i will probably just end up adopting a bunch of stray animals and naming them like. normal human names. or food names (i am very fond of the name Clementine, but it is kind of a mouthful)

lmao i remember next to nothing of the series, i've read it forever ago (i was like, maybe 13?? when i got the first book). all i remember was that i liked Sookie very much at the time. it was i think the first like, adult book series i read and it was fascinating to my young brain, seeing a fully developed female main character being badass and resourceful and kinda doing her own thing (the series is from her perspective, so that was also kind of novel at the time, after reading a lot of like, classical literature and school stuff). idk if i'd recommend it now, but it was definitely formative for me. it's also the series that got me into like, modern fantasy (both reading and writing it)

[phoebehalliwell]

could I just ask you ALL the questions? (minus any you've already answered of course)

lksdajglaks hell yeah bro (i'll also be skipping the ones require like fill in the blanks)

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

no again like the charmed fandom isn't really like hella active so there's no like mass swarming 2 drive u mad which is nice

Have you received anon hate? What about?

like i'm sure i have but like idk about what prolly just like what i said was wrong or incorrect or something idk i usually just delete

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

i mean i never really liked cole :/ like he was fine in the beginning but i was never big on phole which was his big thing and then of course they tanked him so :|. like whatcha gonna do. i can respect the concept tho n julian does have some really good moments. i also don't like kyle bc he bugs the shit outta me but also i find him like So Fascinating like. like he's so interesting just the way he interacts with people like it's so. i personally have a headcanon that he really has trouble like connecting with people / like reading emotions or social cues which is why you know like he dropped that magic bomb with darryl and sheridan and had like no qualms about it and he has like this. it's not quite charm but he has like this. god i can't describe it but you know this kind of light playful tone with an underlying malice that he tends to present with most people upon first meeting but in like relationships he has skin in he's just like a lot more stiff i personally think there's not the same swagger that we see initially Which I Think is because again i don't think he can read people well and his early attitude is actually his impression of like. the leader of the evil kid gang he fell in when he was younger. someone who was a cool sauve leader who was afraid of nothing but people were afraid of him something that a young kyle who was like still like really afraid reeling from the trauma of the death of him parents really kind of worshipped as the perfect mask of strength and masculinity that then proceeded to really sail him through law enforcement you know so it is like his most comfortable mask but it is at the end of the day just some impression of a school bully. but of course this is just my own lil brain in canon kyle's like a bitch

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

jack sheridan my beloved <3 also richard montana. i literally see a lame ass male character go is anyone gonna project onto that guy n then i don't wait for an answer. but like fr. he is literally me <3

Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

um continuing in the same vein calling it an arc might be generous but i fucking Love prue/jack so unreasonably much like. they're so fascinating. like. but beyond that i also liked paige's temp jobs which i think were kinda unpopular

Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

i mean again n/a bc this fandom's just so like chill. because the shows been off air. for like. 15 years. that being said. i do hate when people like. maliciously hate any the sisters. like you can just leave if ur having a bad time??

Unpopular opinion about the show?

i mean like. i don't think this is like. Unpopular per se. but like. it's gotta be said. like this wasn't really like a ""good"" show. like obvi we all love it but like some of it was like. really bad (lookin at u l8r season phoebe arcs 😡😡) idc tho bc i still fucking love this show. so much. but like. has 2 b said.

If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

ah jesus like just one thing? hmm. i guess if i get only one move it'd probably be to save prue idk how that would work per se because i love paige and piper's arc in s4 but killing off prue was just So Cruel it breaks my heart.

Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

i'm gonna level w u i think the phrasing of this q is so funny bc hell yeah ur biased it's called like having an opinion lol. but again in regards to charmed specifically it's So Fuckin Old that being in denial really no longer applies just because. like what's done is done and cannot be undone. that being said bianca didn't die lmao she n chris r fine

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

😐. idk. some people read the text different then me & i'm all like no!! u don't see it the way i see it!! what the fuck!!!! but like. at the end of the day. i really don't fuckin care?? like u can be wrong and that's fine it doesn't affect me. & ik a lot of people probably feel the same way about me like you know i'm out here like pruejack <3 piperkyle <3 paigeleo <3 pruecole <3 like. i've got bad opinions. so at the end of the day it's really whatever. i'm really grateful that this fandom is like p quite and you know not insane and vicious and cutthroat bc liek bro calm down it's literally just pictures on a screen? but yes. some people have like. Wrong Opinions. but i let it go. zen.

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

that's a good fuckin question. paigeleo? lol. in canon and ik a lot of people probz won't like this but phoebecoop.

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

depends on how u define like crackship because like i get none of them are going to happen but if a crackship is defined as something i think is funny but i would never wanna actually see happen then i have like zero of them bc i am like dead serious about like damn near all my ships idc how stupid i'm like hell yeah i wish this would have happened in canon. piperkyle my beloved <3 that would have been so fuckin funny to go canon. like. like. so fuckin funny. would have loved it lol

Popular character you hate?

prolly cole bc he is popular and i just never loved him as much as everyone else i just never really liked what they did with him there are some episodes where i'm like hell yeah (see: the good the bad and the cursed) but for the most part i really don't care that much about him and the narrative Really Wants Me To Care

Unpopular character you love?

once again. richard & jack. <3

most shippable character?

tbh i feel like piper. just because we get so many sides of her in the show like she has a lot of character growth and that's really fun to work with that. beyond that i do love paige and she's usually my go-to for gay pairing bc look at her. she's gay.

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

[jimmynames]

3

So here we find ourselves again 

1 year later, still in London and still at Ruin Studio. The past years been quite a head fuck.. 

Firstly I believe in the true nature of streaming my consciousness whilst I should probably divide this into two blogs one for dev etc one for self I’m going to just carry on typing regardless because I believe the two - self and dev - are intertwined into a larger picture which is of course, me. fuck. So without further a due lol I find myself sat on the floor, straight back typing away eating a pop tart and drinking a protein shake alone whilst Romi is out partying with her co workers. I’ve placed a mirror in front of me and meditated with my eyes open, peering into my self but also all sorts. It was a beautiful experience which led me wanting to call home and speak to my Mother but she didn’t answer - I hope she’s out or having fun right now. 

Secondly, and importantly, in light of my last reflection it feels apt to acknowledge my most recent discovery of grief which is one of a life time sentence. Unfortunately and sadly, this awareness that no matter how far we, my family and I, move from the death date that was that horrible fucking night and no matter how much I grow you’re not going to come back. It’s haunting and I hate it but it’s a `const` now in my life.js and I guess whilst I’m still coming to terms with your passing when you inspect the unminified memories of our shared past it’s so beautiful that I do feel blessed. Ying and Yang. Black and White. These ideas have never rang mroe true in my sense of self than before and I guess I just must of picked the hardest difficulty when starting this simulation. ideet. So still dealign with grief, still missing my father but not coming home and crying most nights instead actually I find myself presently the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. In the pursuit of a healthy mind and reasons to live I found my body. A beautiful vehicle to which I find great enjoyment currently in stretching, pushing and pulling apart. I’m going to the gym with Tim , who deseveres his own write up if I’m honest, cycling and playing squahs with Laz another great man in my life atm. Which both intertwine equally within this loose tapersty of a ‘tech’ blog post in that both are my colleagues. The borders between work and life and professionalism and being are so `background:linear-gradient(black,white,black,.666);` it’s unreal as I find myself genuinely and generally becoming bros/friends/ganged up with the poeple around me who I work with. 

So code - something clicked in me and my code increased. I’m loving and taking great pride in writing beautifully archietured and structered codebases with compotetional methodology both in the skeletons of the comps as well as the styling what with a recent lvoe of BEM. My Javascript is improving, I’m not Thill yet but I can feel and sense it’s growth in who I’m engagign with browser,s tasks and challenges. I built a site for a band and a portofilo for Sean my brother both using gatsby.js and react - super super fun and I took great pride in their codebases and build. Using netfliy is a dream andwould recommend. Wathcing the build tasks run will forever been a dreamy experience. I also revamped my portoflio getting evrr closer to my final idea of two website sin one. Oh Dad I wish you could see it. I applied for a job at NTS radio and got into the final 3 candidates which was really exciting but I my technical interview was to blase and i stupidly uploaded my repo with node_modules in the git cache d’oh and git history ppppppeak.. since then my commit messages have deff grown up and recently even my console.log’s as well. I guess I’m maturing in many ways as a Developer with a greater conceptual understanding of servers and dev ops I do feel more tehcnical in my self but still feel a disconnect with the lieks of Tim and other Dev’s such as YOLO gang for they just seem to be developer built idk.. I’m facing imposter syndrome with great confidence as a result of what I believe is just increased testororone since lifting metal around tbh.. would deff recommend.. 

Since deciding not to go to Scotland with my beautiful omg what the fuck are you doing girl Romi I have decided to dedicate the next 6 months/1 year entierly to my self with focus on learning, growing and health. I wasn’t ready nor felt equipped to travel freely and explore the world. I’m still young. I’m old as well. I feel it. but yeh in my hearts of hearts when you reflect and consider you’re life I’ve only been in London - “livign away from home” for a year and a half, dealing with so much fucking pain it hurts, trying to manage those around me who are alive god bless my mother and i wish her suffering would end as well fucking universe you absolute piece of shit stealing the greatest man from us all fuckinng hell. SORRY. anyway. I do believe in the next year I’ll grow far beyond what I see infront of me and even tho i am proud of the boy/man i gaze upon in my own reflection I do see potential. This potential and in the pursuit of it wil hopefully take me inherently on quite a introverted journey but eventually a more global one later down the line.. I do hope Romi hasn’t been snagged as I’d hate to lose such a love to my own insceurities but like my mother _always_ says, if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be..

I recently smashed a project or two at work and I’ve really gotten my head around how React works as a framework. Recognising that as I’m learning native, more app based things and higher (to me) prolly basic but still Javascirpt I need to acknowledge how i felt when I couldn’t even code and here I am doing things naturally that I couldn’t even imagine or would get so frustrated at. God Dad I wish you could see some of my work since, it’s actually so beautiful.. So to not give myself such a hard time, im no computer sci grad and I’m trying to learn potentially advanced shit so it’s ok.. 

Acutally I got the mutha fuckign title of Web Developer this year as well!!!!! so like yeh 3 years did it. legit goal achieved and I’m still running with it.. Might take me a bit left which I’d like tbf but still going upwards

So yeh, this year’s been immensly intense but beauituflly beautifull. My goals are as follows

- learn to dive

- get back into swimming 

- gym

- react native project

- redux 

- javascript

- treehouse boy again 

- continue to cook and eat healthy 

- sober for autumn 2018

- ux study

-design some websites

- sketch

- write short story

tl;dr idgaf about typos spelling etc this is as much scribbling in a notebook as it can get excet i can read this i cant read my handwriting 

RIP PETER RYAN 

FML

3BC

LOVE