#gamie lore

[omegapheromone]

Misce and Me: Presenting as Omega, First Heat, and The Neck Thing.

OK so this post has been a long time in the making! I may actually start a new tag/post series of my personal experiences with my misce identity and such, and call it "Misce and Me" since it's a cool little title.

The whole idea for this post in the first place started from an offhanded thought of, "my neck being a very sensitive erogenous zone is actually very omega of me, huh?" But I never managed to put it into words since I kept going on tangents and just struggling to explain what I meant in a concise way that could've been made into a short personal post, especially since there's a much longer story there that it ties in to, a sort of contextual "how I realized I have a super sensitive neck/what might've caused it" type thing. I'll have to put some warnings here and the rest of the post will be under the cut both for the sake of length and content. It's nothing explicitly sexual, but does brush on the topic at times.

Warning: some parts of this post will likely mention sexuality/related topics, and contains a lengthy story about a personal experience with a crush from years ago. This post will also likely be a long read, so I'm putting it under the cut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright then. Let me get started.

This is an actual IRL thing that happened to me. I'm not mentioning the names of the people involved for obvious reasons.

As I said, originally this post was going to be very short, just a paragraph or two, about how my neck is very sensitive to touch in general and how people touching my neck can be either a fear trigger, or incredibly comforting and/or pleasant, depending on my mood and who is touching me, among other things. I was just going to talk about that at first, but then I realized how it actually ties in to a lot of other things, namely, what I tend to consider my "first heat", and the time that marks me "presenting" as an omega for the first time (i.e. starting to exhibit the traits of my dynamic). It's also a source for some of my personal headcanons regarding omegaverse and/or misce, since it comes from actual personal experiences.

Disclaimer 2: I feel it's necessary to state that all of this happened when both me and the person this is mostly about- someone I had an unrealized crush on- were around the age of 16 or 17. We never dated, and nothing explicit ever happened, but considering we WERE minors at the time (2015/2016ish), I want to be extra clear and state that no consent laws would have been broken in my country even if we HAD dated/anything had happened. Still, I want to keep things vague, especially about the other person, out of respect for privacy. Nobody (save for the person himself, maybe one or two close friends who were present to witness this all at the time, and the handful of people I've recounted this story to afterwards,) would be able to recognize either me or the other person from this.

"Hmm, I hear you, Gamie, but necks ARE erogenous zones for pretty much everyone? Are you sure it's not just that?"

The original topic of this post would have been just a short anecdote of "it's very omega of me to have such a sensitive neck", so let me start by prefacing and expanding on that a little;

My neck is very sensitive to touch, and I have strong reactions whenever it is touched, no matter what kind of touch- medical-related, platonic, romantic affection, or sexual, it's always noticeable, and has to do a lot with who is touching me. For example, medical professionals don't bother me so much since it's usually for a good reason but I do tend to wince/tense up regardless, and while I don't like my family touching my neck, sometimes I'll ask for a shoulder massage and it's unavoidable, so I don't mind too much, even though both cause some minor anxiety, which is likely to do with the fact that I feel vulnerable when my neck is touched. Meanwhile, close friends, or people who are flirting with me (and I'm receptive towards) touching my neck tends to send a lot of mixed signals that are usually pleasant, but also somewhat hesitant/embarrassed (depending on the situation). Partners (romantic/sexual) touching my neck almost always gets a positive reaction though, whether it's just stroking my neck/back of my head or more intimate acts, i.e. kissing etc. Because of the sensitivity, it's almost always a massive distraction and often also a turn-on for me. I tend to consider this to be inherently tied to my identity as an omega, even though it's not necessarily abnormal since necks in general do tend to be sensitive- mine is just a lot more than I assume most others'?

Back when I was around 16, 17 years old and went to high school, I had just started to figure out my gender identity (transmasc) a few years prior, and back then especially, I had this very, very strong feeling that I need to present as masculine as possible so that people will "take my gender identity seriously" instead of just thinking I'm "following a fad" or something. I actually passed as a boy so well that I was only really clocked when teachers would occasionally use the wrong name (deadname) and I'd have to correct them- thankfully, all were understanding about it.

Well, it might be. But to me, I just tend to associate it with being an omega specifically. And maybe mine is a bit more sensitive than usual as I said, though, I haven't exactly experienced living in the body of anyone BUT myself, so I can't say I know for sure. The reason I associate it so strongly with my being an omega has a lot to do with how and when I started REALLY noticing the sensitivity, as it happened around the same time I tend to associate as the time when I "first presented as an omega" and had my first heat. It'd been a thing all my life for sure, but it never felt like an erogenous zone, just a sensitive one, until I was maybe 16 or 17 years old and in (the local equivalent of) high school. I actually figure I'd go into a personal story of mine since I've been wanting to talk about it, just never found the chance to. So, I'm going to tell the misceblr my actual irl story of the time I had a crush and started presenting as an omega around the same time.

This may end up being quite lengthy, so get comfortable, I suppose. I'll start with some background to everything;

Well, in high school, it was also the first time I'd ever had someone flirt with me IRL, since I had been bullied for a long time before that, and had basically zero confidence beyond spite and anger at the people who had made my school years a living hell before then. I wasn't completely blameless either, but looking back now, I realize all my issues with others when I was younger were honestly just caused by my ADHD symptoms, and that went undiagnosed until this year.

The person who flirted with me was a cis guy, who I'd more or less assumed was straight, and so I just brushed it all off as like... oh he's just doing that "dudebro affection" thing, because at the time, I would mainly hang out with guys, and occasionally a few queer/nonbinary/ally friends who mainly were in different classes than my own. So, given that the group both he and I were in WAS mostly straight(ish???) Cis Dudes, I never really saw any of it as more than weird ways of showing affection, when this guy would do stuff like pet my hair or brush his hand against the back of my neck, or find any excuse to touch me in general, usually specifically the neck region (excuses such as, "Oh hey your hair is shorter did you get it cut?" And then touching the back of my neck/base of my skull under the disguise of feeling that "fresh haircut feel" or whatever. Yes, looking back, I was oblivious as hell). This kind of stuff had always made me tense up slightly and sent shivers down my spine, honestly likely because I hadn't ever had anyone touch my neck in a way that wasn't either completely accidental or obviously fully platonic, and it was emotionally difficult to process something that was so new and overwhelming. I used to think I didn't blush easily, but looking back, I'm certain he would've clearly seen me go red in the face from just those touches alone, and if he'd been straight, I imagine he would've commented on it and stopped, instead of persisting. (Also, I later found out he was very likely at least Bi, if not gay, but at that point we had already lost contact, sadly)

At some point during the fall semester, I had gone to school extremely tired, having a bad hair day, feeling sleep deprived and grumpy, probably about to get my period or something and hence even more irritable than usual. I was on time for class and went in, sat in the middle seats, next to some girls I knew well enough but weren't REALLY friends with, mainly because none of the guys I USUALLY sat with in this class had arrived yet, and I thought they might've been skipping class anyway. They eventually arrive after class has already started, and the guy who had been making advances towards me walks past to go to the back row seats (as usual) but on the way, he reaches towards me in an attempt to pet my hair/pat my head or something, a gesture he did often, and I actually usually enjoyed, however, this time I was worried about my hair, since I'd spent an hour trying to get it to look decent, and the amount of hairspray I'd used was probably not very healthy for my lungs (ah, my pop punk quirky phase was... something)- So as he touches my head, I send a sideways glare at him out of annoyance, maybe pushed his hand away as well if I recall correctly. Only- I'd already been in a bad mood all morning, and my glare must've been exceptionally cold, because his expression kind of dropped, and he hurried to his seat. I didn't think much of it at first, I'd rejected touches like that on occasion before and shown some frustration in the past when I'd been in a bad mood, and though he'd avoid me for a bit to let me cool off, he would always end up talking to me again in a day or two at least. This time, though, was a bit different.

I feel that I first "presented" as an Omega, somewhat tied to all of this happening with me and that guy, around that age. I had of course been aware of the omegaverse trope for a long time- I mean, I grew up reading fanfic, so duh- and to some degree related to (omegaverse), but didn't REALLY look for fics etc themed around it specifically. This guy, I won't describe him too much beyond that he was a bit taller than me and had a bit of a "skater guy" type style + would ride his skateboard around the halls no matter how much teachers told him to stop lmao. I never felt that he was "my type" in particular, but we clicked well with similar senses of humour and overall he was a comfortable presence in a way I hadn't really experienced before, especially since I'd dealt with so many bullies pretending to be friendly only to mock me later, but he was never like that at all, even when I was paranoid and pushed him away because I feared he WAS. He was also very touchy with me, as I already explained, and a lot of it adds up to me now as courting behaviors, and I do fully think thay if he were misce he'd almost certainly identify as an alpha.

But, anyway- looking back, there was a point in time when I started realizing that this guy probably was flirting with me- it didn't FULLY hit me until years later though, and when I first started suspecting it, it was more like a vague feeling that I couldn't fully confirm. It was actually a specific instance/situation that happened between me and him that finally clued me in and made me consider the possibility, and this instance is what I actually tend to think probably triggered my first heat too, so I'll talk briefly about that, but I also need to give some context of what had happened before;

It was some time around or just before the winter/christmas holidays, one of the last days of school before break, when we went to like, an art gallery or something similar- neither of us wanted to attend the church service since neither of us considered ourselves believers of the christian faith most common here anyway, AND it was a LOT more fun to look at some pop art than to sit in a church listening to some guy talk about jesus and whatnot. I had actually heard he woulf be going to the gallery so to some degree, I had planned to confront him there- I also figured that there would likely be some group/pair exercises, so I was able to use that opportunity to spend a bit of time around him and engage in some playful banter and joking around just like we had been, before I'd unintentionally given him the coldest death-glare fuelled by a lack of caffeine known to man. At first, he came across as really nervous and flighty, but I made sure to just be casual and joke around normally, to try and show him that he didn't need to fear interacting with me- I still don't know why it had been so upsetting to him at the time to be honest- maybe he was scared I was rejecting him or something- and why he had put so much energy in avoiding me, but honestly, seeing him relax slowly and realize that I truly had not meant to make him think I'd suddenly started hating his guts when I'd just woken up grumpy that day, and that there was no need to avoid me like that, considering I was treating him completely normally, if not even more friendly than before.

He avoided me for months. Even when we HAD TO share a class or were hanging out with the same friends (who in hindsight must've been going insane just watching this dumb af back-and-forth of me being oblivious and the guy being obvious). It actually genuinely confused me- I only figured later on what had caused it (my glare), and when I did, I started to try and look for ways to show him that I didn't hate him nor was I mad or upset at him, but he would quite literally slip away at the first possible chance, so I never was able to talk to him one-on-one enough, until a month or two at least had passed.

Anyway, after the art gallery tour ended, we were standing in the lobby of the building it was hosted in, chatting a bit, since I had finally been able to talk to him and things seemed to be back to normal. We had obviously missed on a month's worth of hanging out and chatting at school, after all, so I imagine the both of us were really relieved and happy to have things be alright again.

Now, Back then, I was in a strange quirky tumblr-influenced half-emo half-pop-punk phase where I would incorporate stuff from other styles and aesthetics kind of randomly as I saw fit, and at that specific time, I'd been really into steampunk-y stuff, and had taken to wearing these steampunk goggles I'd bought at some point either as a headband, or more commonly, around my neck, like a necklace, because I was 16-17ish and thought it was Cool And Different™ (year was like, 2015/2016? I think?) And I was having a very weird phase back then anyway... Well, he notices the goggles and comments on them and asks if he can take a closer look at said goggles, I say, oh sure yeah!, fully expecting him to wait for me to take them off and hand them to him to look, since, you know, at that age I was EMBARRASSINGLY oblivious, and genuinely thought he was actually interested in looking at the goggles (this one goes out for all the autistic friends I have who keep telling me I'm autistic. Maybe you're right.(/hj))

Instead, he grabs the goggles and pulls ME closer. By the neck. Not like, in a way that chokes me or hurt me in any way, more like a gentle tug- the goggles had an elastic band, so it was more like a slight tugging sensation at the back of my neck that made me take a step forwards and lean in- plus, he did it slowly enough that it wasn't like a sudden yank but more like a gentle, persistent tug. I could have very easily pulled back and told him I'd take them off so he could look, but honestly, I was a bit too mesmerized and didn't actually WANT to step away anyway. Yeah, it's cliché as hell now that I think about it- It's like a fanfic trope come to life, yknow, like pulling someone closer by their tie or whatever? But somehow real life. I was so surprised in the moment- not unpleasantly, but just, completely DID NOT expect to suddenly be barely a few inches away from his face (if that!) all of a sudden so I just completely freeze in place, confused and just baffled at the situation. In that moment I felt a lot of mixed feelings and signals, none bad, just very confused, because to ME it was very sudden and unexpected considering my utter obliviousness to all the previous moves he'd made on me. I think that was the point when I finally started suspecting that maaaaybe he had been flirting with me- or at least trying to test the waters with me, so to speak- this whole time (and even so, was in denial for years afterwards lmao- to this day I wonder if maybe I'm just reading into it too much and he honestly WAS just a dude being a bro and actually interested in the goggles after all). Honestly, to him, I must've looked truly ridiculous, wide-eyed, shocked/surprised expression, kinda frozen in place and not knowing what to do, and DEFINITELY blushing.

And to be honest my memory of the moment isn't the clearest because I was well and truly frozen like a deer in the headlights. All I remember is how the surprise felt like a bucket of ice water being poured over me because I didn't even dare to breathe at first, frozen in place and not knowing what to expect, and then melting really fast because I started feeling very dizzy and warm when my brain caught on (I imagine the realization made me blush, and that would have been the feeling of warmth or 'melting' as I put it). He DEFINITELY stayed like that way longer than necessary, just gently 'looking at the goggles' as though they were the most interesting object in the world- or, again, maybe they were, and I just FELT like the moment went on forever.

Anyway, nowadays, when I think of my life with the context of my misce identity, I tend to feel that this was the thing that triggered my first heat, because I remember that on our walk back to school, I'd started feeling strangely hot, sweaty and shaky, like, literally trembling afterwards- I felt hazy, almost feverish, and couldn't stop thinking about that moment at all (I think I explained what happened to an IRL friend and they just stared at me in confusion, like, "okay and???" As if it was not a big deal at all). Our school day was a lot shorter that day, because it was around the holidays, and I was so utterly confused about everything that the rest of the day is a complete blur to me, I barely remember getting a happy holidays type card from this other person who had kind of been pursuing me (which is an entirely different story) and some presents from friends. Iirc, I basically bolted home from school at the first opportunity, though iirc the guy (the one this whole thing has been about) also left me a card of some kind, but honestly at that point I was way too mushy-brained to retain many memories. I don't really even remember what happened when I got back home, but knowing me, and how I am when in heat, I can make a few educated guesses which I won't share.

Anyhow, I tend to think of that day as the day I'd had my first "heat" as an omega, because I remember feeling really warm, shaky, and just, all kinds of feelings. Honestly, at the time, I wasn't sure of my own feelings for him because I was just kind of confused about everything and still figuring it all out- I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to romance, anyway, but looking back, I'm pretty damn sure I'd had a crush on him for quite a while as well, otherwise I wouldn't have been so sad and disappointed that he started avoiding me after I glared at him, and definitely would not have been so shocked and reacted so strongly to that situation in the art gallery lobby. I recall feeling like he had me under some sort of spell, honestly, which is kind of silly thinking back- but if he had pulled me any closer or, gods forbid, kissed me for example, I think my knees would've ACTUALLY given in right there. I wasn't far from it to begin with.

So the neck thing- I think, it started because someone I would classify/headcanon as an alpha (in omegaverse terms, not the, 'alpha male' kind, DUH), whom I was interested in, and who seemed to clearly be interested in me, kept finding excuses to touch my neck. It was always sensitive, and I could feel the touch sort of linger for a long time, days, at times. And after that incident, my neck has always been hypersensitive, ESPECIALLY during heats. It's actually to the point that if a partner touches me in a similar (romantic/sexual) way, my knees just go kind of weak immediately, and I feel dizzy, because it's overwhelming to me. Maybe it's because necks are vulnerable and sensitive, but for me it's specifically the back and sides of my neck that are the MOST sensitive, not necessarily the region of my windpipe/etc. Similarly, when it's a person I have no interest in who is touching me, I tense up, instead of "freezing and then melting" which is how I felt on That Day. It's a pretty strong signal to my brain that I should probably become pliant and relaxed and obedient, as well as a "hey maybe I should be getting aroused about this?" Brain-thing, BUT if it's coming from someone I don't see as a potential partner but who seems to have romantic or sexual intent regardless, it feels more like an attempt at dominating or controlling me, which causes some anxiety.

As an afterthought, I wanna add that there are close friends I have who could touch my neck and I wouldn't mind at all- either they're so close platonically that I'm fully okay with it, or I'm 110% confident there is absolutely ZERO sexual intent behind their actions. If anything, I'd probably just relax and feel drowsy, more than anything, if touched like that.

Basically, this instance has shaped a big part of my headcanons on scruffing, dynamic presenting, heats and heat triggers, and much more. I don't think that this random guy I haven't talked to in almost a decade actually made me "awaken as an omega" as some versions of omegaverse put it, but I do think that during that fall I was starting to present anyway, and the things he did (touching my neck, petting my hair, etc) affected things that trigger my heats because of the emotional/psychological associations. I think that I would have presented anyway, and had a first 'heat' around that time anyway, but I think my crush on him and his constant touchy-feely-ness definitely sped up the process.

It's kind of a shame that this was the closest we ever got, in a way- back then I was still in contact with a very abusive person who basically forbade me from interacting with other people almost entirely, and it was one of the biggest reasons I was so shy and hesitant around this guy, even when I wanted to reciprocate somehow. It's such a shame because I haven't ever really felt a similar kind of pull towards anyone else after that, the relationships I've been in since have all started because someone else had been interested in me first and approached and courted me, and I'd ended up slowly getting attached and becoming fond of them. Not that that's a bad way to get into a relationship when it works out- I mean more that there's never really been a similar feeling of complete breathlessness and being flustered and mesmerized the same way this guy was able to make me feel by just gently pulling at my neck a little. Other people have certainly tried, and most exes are aware my neck is a very sensitive spot for me, but it's never affected me quite so strongly since this guy back in High School. Maybe it's just because I was young and clueless and far more easily affected by flirting and such, sure- it's just a bit, I don't know, sad? I guess, since it never really went anywhere with that guy. We grew apart, and never ended up getting closer, and I've never had the chance to let him know I was interested in him the whole time, nor explain the actual situation with the glare I gave him and why it must've seemed so out-of-nowhere (when the truth was I'd just had the shittiest morning imaginable to my teenage self). I did follow him on a social media app with my personal profile some time ago recently though, and he followed me back, so maybe one day we'll reconnect properly, but who knows. It's pretty cliché and I don't actually hold out any hope that the same person who had me weak in the knees in high school would be similarly magnetic to me now that I'm an actual adult, nearly a decade older than I was back then- it's more like, I just have a few regrets, and wish I'd said something back then? But most of all, I hope I can experience a similar kind of attraction again some day, regardless of who it is for. A crush like that, when the other person is also giving signals, is very magical, and the smallest things feel super flustering. It's even better when the other person is a genuinely good person, like he was. Definitely leagues above the trash I was settling for back then because I had zero self-confidence and thought that nobody who actually treated me kindly and with respect would ever truly love me.

Actually, I could honestly talk about that guy for quite a long while, since I have a lot of fond memories of him, and high school in general, but I'd end up going on for even longer, and my main point was to just tell the story of the time I started 'presenting' as an omega (though I didn't know that's what it was until much later), and what I consider to be my first actual heat, as well as talk about the fact that my neck is extremely sensitive and it's always been kind of amusing to me since it's a VERY omega thing.

To the guy I'm talking about, if you somehow find this and thus my blog, firstly, I'm sorry THIS is how you (most likely) find out that I actually had a crush on you the whole time and SECONDLY, I am so sorry you now have to know I'm into some (relatively) weird things. Dm me?

Oh and to anyone who is NOT that guy but recognizes this story and now knows who I am, you didn't see SHIT. Look away, bitch, erase this from your brain, none of your business.

Uhm. Anyway, I wanted to add a bit more about the neck sensitivity, since it's the source of my headcanons for how omegas in general would have very sensitive necks (which is one reason for why some choose to wear collars or chokers or other similar accessories, as a way to feel more "protected" or "covered up")

I ended up discovering a lot of these things later on as an adult, in other relationships I had, but.

Most of my neck is very sensitive. The front (throat) has some spots, but the most noticeably erogenous areas are the sides of my neck, the spots right below my ears and jawbone, and the back of my neck from where my back connects to my neck, all the way up to the base of my skull. The types of touch that tend to get the strongest responses out of me are usually the, someone placing their hand on the back of my neck gently but like, firmly enough to make me aware of it, especially if they're using that to guide me around etc. It feels like a subtle physical "sign of claiming/courting someone", or a signal of intending to do so.

General Headcanons;

Since I tend to imagine bonding bites would be on the back of the neck (muscles, less vessels and delicate structures to injure, etc), it's a sort of headcanon that touching that region in general is a pretty flirtatious/strong signal of intended courtship when done to an omega. It's not necessarily only a courtship/flirtation thing, it could also be a sort of equivalent to scruffing, an action that feels reassuring and causes the omega to subconsciously relax and become calm and agreeable IF done by someone they trust (friend or partner or family, etc). I imagine that some alphas and betas also do it to their omega partners in public on occasion to show to others who might seem interested in the omega, that the omega is already being "courted" or "claimed" (especially when no bonding/mating bites are visible or present for whatever reason). Since the action of placing a hand on the back of an omega's neck is basically covering their scent glands, it has a similar message as kissing your partner some stranger has been oogling, just to let them know they're "not available". I tend to headcanonize that it's seen as rude and intrusive to do it to omegas you do NOT know well, for example first dates, one-night-stands, or people you've just started getting to know, and people who do that before there's been any signals of interest or even courtship are, in many cultures, seen as the asshole type who is just trying to get into the pants of any omega they see. It's not quite a form of PDA, more like a social cue that expresses both interest and intent to the omega without being overly obvious or intimate, as well as gives some "hey back off" type vibes to other people. I imagine this works with betas and alphas too, to some extent, but when done to any other dynamic it's generally seen more as a protective or friendly gesture, instead of one that expresses romantic/sexual interest in any way, since my headcanon is that omegas in general have the most sensitive necks out of any dynamic.

[omegapheromone]

So uhhhh. This will likely be a long response, and it goes into a lot of detail regarding knowing what I Am Not vs knowing what I Am, trauma and how trauma affects identity and expression, self-doubt and growing up being questioned about my identity's "validity" constantly, etc.

Honestly, I don't have a clear answer. I always just knew I was an omega- maybe a little atypical for one, but an omega regardless. My primary gender is somewhere between nonbinary and trans guy, and for the ease of it, I just say transmasc, even though my primary gender experience is fairly fluid especially when it comes to expressing it outwards. It's kind of the "opposite" when it comes to my secondary gender?

I got a lot of "well are you sure you're not just a tomboyish girl?" Type comments growing up and discovering my primary gender. Despite how angering it was, I always had a degree of anxiety of, what if that IS the case? But over time, I realized I've never identified with that definition at all. I just instinctively know I am not a girl, woman, female, whatever. None of those terms apply to me in any capacity, no matter what I wear or how my gender identity fluctuates. I was also always worried- and occasionally still am to this day- that "what if my gender is only like this because I have severe trauma around the concept of girl/womanhood and being afab?". This thought has always haunted me- what if all that I identify with is like this just because if trauma, and once I start healing, I will suddenly become a girl again? ...Clearly that didn't happen, I've been in therapy for years now. Anxiety is still there, but now I know that my own concept of my gender identity is not just based on trauma around girlhood, and that I would have been transmasc even without such trauma.

In a similar, yet opposite vein, when I started discovering omegaverse (in fanfic etc, before I knew misce was a thing) I just knew I was an omega. There were similar doubts in my head though- I don't have any particularly strong maternal instinct, I don't like to be treated as something weak and fragile, I'm rather independent and a loner (or rather, have a tendency to push people away out of fear) and in many cases, and it's hard to get close to me because of the walls I put up. I can also be quite assertive, if not flat out stubborn at times, and have a very strong sense of justice and fairness, and being cared for makes me feel indebted to whoever does so, even if they're just doing it out of wanting to show care and appreciation. These are not really omega traits, so why do I think/believe I am an omega so strongly? How do I know I'm not a subdynamic of some sort?

To me, it was just a lot of looking inwards. Much like I realized I would be transmasc no matter what my trauma was, I realized that a lot of my non-omega-like traits are direct results of my traumatic past. I don't want children of my own because of my trauma around being one and thw concept of motherhood. I DO like kids, however, and genuinely enjoy being an older brother, older cousin, an uncle, godfather, etc. I'd be glad to be any of those things- especially with slightly older children who don't require constant caring for. I enjoy spoiling my youngest sibling, I enjoy spending time with my young cousins, etc. My maternal instinct is weak and to a degree nonexistent only because of trauma. I don't recall a life "before" trauma at all, but I like to think that maybe if I had grown up without any, I would love to have kids of my own as well. But, as it is, I don't think I will ever want any, no matter how much I heal, because it's been a part of my development for so long. I'll still be a fun and caring uncle, brother, etc, though.

That's just one example, of course. But it's very similar with all my other non-omega-like traits. Because of trauma, I grew up guarded, hypervigilant, suspicious of everyone and everything, etc. I grew up believing that anything nice done to/given to/expressed towards me was always just a bid to ensure I had to "do something in return", that there is no such thing as unconditional love or care. That anything good is always a trap to ensure I am indebted to someone else, so that they can hold that over my head and take advantage of me without me being able to/"allowed to" complain, because "I owe XYZ to them". I've experienced this so many times over and over that over time I've put up walls and tend to push people away if I start getting anxious that someone is "too nice" or "cares too much about me"- I always expect that 'care' to turn into abuse, possessiveness and treating me like I inherently am indebted to them just because they care about me. So I push people away when they get too close, and build walls to keep people away from getting that close to begin with.

The only reason I'm speaking so candidly and descriptively of things that someone could read and learn the ABC of how to hurt me, is because I've been in therapy for years, as I said. Even though a lot of these traits linger in some form (independence, feeling like I need to "give something in return in order to 'get even'", for example), I've learned to deal with them, and also recognize the signs of when someone is actually trying to use my trauma and insecurities as tools to manipulate me.

In any case, knowing that I am an omega is what I imagine it might feel to just know that you are cisgender regardless of any traits that don't fall under the stereotypical idea of what that gender would be. So if I WAS a woman, if someone asked, "well, how do you KNOW you're not a trans guy, how do you know you're 'just' tomboyish?" I'd feel a mixture of frustration and certainty, because I'd just know. I might've even considered it in the past- but have landed on the certainty that "it really is just a gnc way to express a gender, instead of being a different gender". So, in a sense, a complete opposite (yet strangely similar) to my primary gender identity. I KNOW that I am NOT just a "tomboyish girl", I KNOW that I AM transmasc. In a similar yet somewhat opposite way, I KNOW that I am NOT any other dynamic, I KNOW that I AM "just a slightly atypical" omega.

I uhh. I hope that makes sense? Just sort of knowing which traits are a product of trauma/upbringing, and feeling sort of insulted if anyone implies that those make me anything but an omega. My trauma did not make me dynamicfluid or dynamic-non-conforming, nor did it make me a subdynamic of any sort; my trauma made me traumatized, and I am an omega no matter how trauma affects the way I act, express my dynamic, or orherwise "am". Just like how trauma DID NOT make me transgender, I would have been transmasc regardless. If anything, my masc identity might actually be even stronger/less fluid without trauma, instead of being caused by it- and if anyone insinuated that my trauma is what made me trans, I'd feel angry, offended and frustrated at the idea.

Anyway there are also plenty of very stereotypical omega traits I have, a lot of them are buried underneath trauma and a fear of being vulnerable, but they exist, and are fully uncoverable with enough healing and time, and in terms of partners, consistent reassurance, trust and understanding of my situation.

Also, I've always had "heats". Various psych medications have occasionally lowered and/or gotten rid of my libido entirely, and changing them around a bunch seems to have made them unstable- but regardless, I can tell even if I'm psychologically completely disinterested- my body still reacts pretty consistently (though with certain meds said heats were shorter and less noticeable even physically). Still, that was always something that stood out to me as distinctly omegan.

So... how are y'all figuring out your dynamics?

Because I named myself "beta adjacent" for a reason LOL. Is it a desire y'all are feeling intrinsically or something y'all've just decided after taking a bunch of quizzes?

I've always thought of myself as an omega but wasn't sure if that was like... just me wanting to be special?

[msbarrows]

...wow. I knew I had a fair number of characters in Lord of the Rings Online with war-steeds, since Rohan came out in 2012. Whenever there's been a particularly good sale and I had a character close enough, I levelled them up to snag war-steed cosmetics while they were cheap, as I just did with Ceil and Snoww and this week's 85% off sale. Plus there's all the ones that reached the right level via normal questing, plus a scant handful across both accounts that I used a level-up item on. But. Sixteen! I have sixteen characters with war-steeds!

In order shown these are:

Somany Reasons, level 150 elf Warden, on her fleabitten steel grey war-steed with white mane and tail

Gnormen MacFeegle, level 150 hobbit Warden, on his dark chestnut shaggy roan with black chestnut mane, tail, and feathering

Iztariani, level 126 human Hunter, on her red roan with dark chestnut mane and tail war-steed

Sofew Chances, level 122 elf Guardian, on her tan with white mane, tail, and feathering war-steed (the first character I ever bought two different hide dye packs for, because I wanted her on a palomino)

Vvardyn, level 122 human Warden, riding his chestnut war-steed

Kestryll, level 120 elf Lore-master, on a flaxen chestnut bay war-steed with black mane and tail

Magpye, level 111 hobbit Burglar, on a sooty grey dappled war-steed with charcoal mane and tail

Leafwyn Enbrioche, level 107 human Lore-master, riding a copper war-steed with sorrel mane, tail, and feathers

Miffy Ayrhedd, level 103 human Captain, on a black war-steed

Orri Gami, level 103 dwarf Champion, riding his black war-steed ith white mane, tail, and feathering

Knarlie Gnarlbeard, level 100 stout-axe dwarf Hunter, on his tan war-steed with blond mane and tail

Teasle Thistledown, level 76 hobbit Warden, on her dark chestnut brindle with black chestnut mane, tail, and feathering

Nowt Entune, level 76 human Minstrel, riding a black chestnut war-steed with drk chestnut mane, tail, and feathering

Ceil Orelon, level 75 high elf Hunter, riding a dappled brown war-steed with tan mane, tail, and feathering

Snoww Pea, level 75 hobbit Warden, on her black tobiano war-steed with black mane and tail

Ycab, level 105 elf Hunter, on her seal brown war-steed with bay mane and tail

Some of the war-steed cosmetics I've bought in festivals years before those character ever actually had a war-steed, because I looked at things like the assorted feathering and fancy tails and just... ground for the tokens to barter for them on every character I had who I thought I might some day play to the right level. And it's paid off :)

[littleeyesofpallas]

ya know of all the sloppily localized things from the 90s-00s that I've gone back to over the years to try and make better sense of, I'm shocked I've never actually thought to poke around in monster rancher somehow. So so long as I'm on this Gali kick but too lazy to keep nudging around bits in photoshop, let's tackle the names, starting with the obvious purebred...

GALI[ガリ] after Galileo Galilei, because sun mask and his work promoting the Copernican heliocentric model of the solar system.

And then there's all the mix breeds...

Okay off to a rocky start... Lexus's name in Japanese is in fact just REKUSASU[レクサス], which is how Japanese phonetics handle Lexus, like the car, but like.... I don't know why? I've seen someone mention they think it's REXas like T-Rex, which I guess makes more sense, but why the -sasu bit? It does in fact retain the same name in MR2 even though the breed changes to Gali/Zuum and the English changes it to Scaled Mask. (notably they didn't make a new zuum pattern for its cape.)

WOOROKKUSU[ウォーロックス] I assume a portmanteau on Warlock and Rocks. A neat way to reference both Gali's magic wielding and Golem's stone body, but reliant on the Japanese L/R so kind of doesn't work in English since either Warlocks or Warrocks loses one half of the joke. The localization team seemed to have just thrown their hands up in the air and given up, calling it "Warrior" which has no tie to the name at all other than it starts with "war-" and MR2 just called it Stone Mask.

Sapphire and later Fanged mask was named INU-GAMI[イヌガミ] as in inu-gami[犬神], lit. "Dog God" but references a specific type of yokai that is an ascendant spirit of a dog, akin to magic foxes, cats and other animals common to Japanese folk lore.

Style, later renamed Brown Mask, was originally called TSUCHINOKO-BOKUSAA[ツチノコボクサー], which I can only assume is read like tsuchinoko BOXER[槌の子ボクサー] where the tsuchi-no-ko[槌の子], lit. "child of (the)hammer" is a Japanese cryptid described as a snake with a wide middle section, as if flatted with a mallet. Evoking the tsuchinoko is clearly a reference to worm, but I have no idea what the full name is supposed to mean... Someone who punches worms? A worm who punches?

Aqua, later Aqua Mask, was AKUARIUSU[アクアリウス], Japanese phonetics for "Aquarius." Pretty obvious reference to water bearer constellation as a Jell subtype.

Pixel aka Pink Mask, was in fact just called PIKUSERU[ピクセル] the English got this one right. At least I assume it's meant to be read as "Pixel", although I don't get the meaning. It sounds like pixie, obviously, but that seems to be it.

Omen, renamed Suezo Mask, originally had the very impressive name, HITOTSUME-OUJI[ヒトツメオウジ] from Hitotsume Ouji[一つ目王子]: "One-Eye(d) Prince."

Galion, alter Furred Mask, was in fact just called GARION[ガリオン]. The first game got it right. Although I assume it's a play on Gali and Leon, as in "Lion" in reference to a mane of fur since the key features being merged between Gali and Hare are the sun motif and fur. (Honestly kind of a shame they didn't opt to give him an actual mane in place of the sun spikes, and a more animal-ish face, it would have made for a cool unique look.)

Gara and later Galirous, was GARIRASU[ガリラス] but I think this should have been romanzied as GALILATH(?) because it seems to be a mash up of Gali and Monolith(Monol's name in Japanese is actually the full word Monolith[モノリス]) If it's not that then it's more obtuse than I can make sense of.

Shon in the original MR and Purple Mask in MR2, both actually come sort of close. SHION-KAMEN[シオンカメン] from Shion Kamen[紫苑仮面], Shion[紫苑] being both the Japanese name for the Tartarian Aster(Aster tataricus) but also short for shion-iro[紫苑色] the color of Aster flowers, generally referring to something in a range between Violet and a Light-Purple. Oh and of course kamen[仮面] means "mask". (So the Shon came from Shion, for some reason dropping the I, but the name Purple Mask isn't technically wrong as a translation and just happens to fit the localization's really bland and otherwise largely arbitrary naming scheme.)

KARAFURU-MASUKU[カラフルマスク] it's just an approximation of the English words COLORFUL MASK. So the second game got it spot on, and the first game just shortened it to Color.

And some of the special Gali/??? types...

Happy Mask, HARE-HARE[ハレハレ] I assume from hare[晴れ] meaning "clear(skies)" in other words, "sunny(weather)"

Gamer was HOKKEE[ホッケー] it's just "Hockey."

Kuma was shortened from its actual Japanese name, KUMADORII[クマドリー] as in kumadori[隈取り] a style of kabuki makeup characterizing villainous or otherwise violent roles.

Milky Way, AMA-NO-GAWA[アマノガワ] as in Ama-no-Gawa[天の川] lit. "River of Heaven" and it's the Japanese name for the Milky Way. His cloak has a little tanabata image on the back, which is a holiday involving the constellations orihime(vega) and hikoboshi(altair) separated by the milky way.

Sunset Gali in the MRAdvance2 is just an accurate reading of SANSETTO-GARI[サンセットガリ].

Ombren was clever, the original name is GARI-NO-KAGE[ガリノカゲ] as in [ガリの影] "Shadow of Gali" and Ombren is from the Latin root word Umbra, meaning "Shade" or "Shadow." When specifically used in reference to an eclipse an umbra refers to the obscured area withing the direct line of sight tangent to the sun and the moon.(as opposed to the penumbra which is the only partially obscured area interior to the line of sight tangent the earth and the moon.)

Weirdly Monster Rancher DS(aka Monster Farm DS 2) added these two random new Gali; Verde(Gali/Centaur) and Ultimate(Gali/???), who also appeared in the first mobile game, My Monster Rancher(aka Monster Rancher 1 Million) but I can't seem to find information on their japanese names? On the one hand English language resources don't seem to include the katakana, but then I tried searching the game name and breed type and can't even seem to find any Japanese language wikis that cover what I'm looking for... Or maybe i've fried my brain and there's some kind of obvious search result that i've been missing. Found them,

VERDE[ヴェルデ] is in fact just Verde. and...

ULTIMATE[アルティメット] is also just Ultimate. How anticlimactic...

I dunno where i thought I was going with this... I don't have like, a conclusion or a take away. Just idly scratching more of that monster rancher itch.

[byakuyasdarling]

I created their vampire x fairy au about a year ago and explained the lore in that post! I’ve been really tired over the last month, so I’ve only managed to complete Chibi drawings, so sorry T-T♥️ I like to think she grows flowers in her hair when she’s feeling strong positive emotions :) 🌸🍓

[All REBLOGS are appreciated and encouraged! —🌟] -> Do Not Interact if you: post, like, or reblog Nae//gami content, please

[ionianwanderer]

riot Gamies is vague about it but what do you think happened between high noon yone and yasuo i want to know ur thoughts bruther

From what crumbs Riot has given us about Yasuo’s High Noon skin pre the revamp of the skinline to include Southern Gothic aspects, it ties with his original lore pretty closely: A man trying to outrun the sins and the guilt he carries on his back. But with the introduction of Yone into the universe things tend to shake up a little bit more. So for my interpretation of the two:

A tale of two brothers heading west for new opportunities, nothing unheard of for those migrating across the eastern settlement. But to leave the humble little town their mother had settled in along with the ranch they’ve known since they were kids, it hadn’t come as a surprise for Yasuo to be the one setting out on his own first. Only for Yone to follow suit out of growing concern to protect his only sibling. So out west they went.

As time went on, the two made themselves a little life catching odd jobs in every town they stopped in through their travels. Wasn’t a fruitful life but it was what they could consider comfortable as they went about their journey westward. All this until Yasuo manages to catch the eyes of a few folks that weren’t too keen on the two brothers strutting into town. 

Something that Yasuo always found comfort in was the saloons in each stop of their journey, this was no different. Settling in at one of the many wooden tables among the rest of the patrons before a bottle of rum was placed on his table. Much to Yasuo’s detriment, he’d managed to settle himself exactly where a few of the regulars had carved their names into the edge of the heavy oak, and they weren’t too fond of finding the cowboy in their rightfully claimed abode. What results is a fight between the four of them, at first the snide comments turning to shoving and chairs being pushed over. Escalating further when one smashes a bottle against a table and threatens Yasuo with it, something he never took kindly to. And as the wild and reckless little brother he’d always been, Yasuo shoots first. The saloon erupts into more chaos then as the man lay bleeding and clutching the wound dealt by Yasuo’s trigger happy finger. Before long Yasuo’s gone, taking off through the Saloon doors and past Yone as he races towards the source of the chaos.

It makes Yone skid to a stop, kicking up dust and dirt as his body snaps towards the direction Yasuo ran. Men pour out from the Saloon and past him as Yone divides their numbers like a rock parting a stream, legs heavy as he watches onward. Questions racing through his mind until he’s shouldered roughly by another man who tells him Yasuo’s getting away. That’s when Yone moves, racing through the stampede after his own flesh and blood in order to grab him, set him straight, find out what happened and why he did it. But he never does quite make it to him.

Yasuo, who had been quick witted enough to cut a horse free from its post, climbs upon the beast’s back and hikes the reins high before snapping them harshly. Setting off galloping straight out of the town and kicking up the dust of regret in his escape. There’s a moment, as he braces himself low against the saddle, where he rears his head back over his shoulder to watch as they try to shoot him. Finding Yone, standing among the very men that now wanted him dead, still as can be, unbelieving that this is the thing that severs the tie between them. Yasuo squeezes his eyes shut when he turns to face the horizon as he snaps the reins once more. 

Yone never finds him again after that.

[gamie99]

Gamie here to explain a Thing and to ramble about Lore!

This guy ain't Duke. Don't worry, he isn't anybody important. Just an Astro Carrier.

Carriers are still fucken scary, though. They're like gargantuan flying battleships who can steamroll your city in under a minute. (Remember THAT scene from 76?)

I'm sure that Duke will be a lot more important-looking than that Astro Carrier. Judging by the name, he might even have some relation to the Astro Duchess. Are they partners? Will Duke be just as goth as the Duchess is? I can't wait for his reveal!

Episode 77 part 3 and 4

(I was going to make a post with parts 3 and 4, but ran into the Tumblr image limit! I'll make another post about part 4.)

Previously: Episode 77 part 1, Episode 77 part 2

DFB has given us TV-simps some delicious food!! And I had five asks about this! Spoilers under the cut.

Pile of asks:

Anonymous:

Now that episode 77 is done what do you think is the 'plot twist'? I found 'hardware heads were human' from part 2 to be a lot more shocking than G-Man helping The Alliance.

@some-girl-i-guess-1

Did you see the new episode? What are your thoughts about it?

@gamie99

I love reading your episode reviews because you always have so much to say! And I'm sure you have SO many thoughts about this one, because HOLY COW.

Anonymous:

The latest part of the episode was pretty crazy what did you think about it? What do you think will occur in the full episode?

@love-draw-fanart

After watching 77 part 4, I started imagining Titan-TV fighting with his ghost if his body was destroyed 🤣🤣🤣🤣 very, veryyyyyy "you can't kill the death"

Part 3:

I'm a little disappointed that Cam Matriarch appears to have lost her tortoise mode + flechette cannon, because that was what made me love her in the first place! The flying cannon replacement is pretty cool... but it's sad how all the cute robots are becoming badass rather than cute.

Wonder what the 'there are 3 Polycephalies' crowd will have to say about this? Will they think there are 2 Cam Matriarchs?

The distant 'hee hee' at this point was funny as hell! I do love how Boom breaks up tension with funny parts like this.

Not only has Cam Matriarch inherited Plunk's weapons, but also his idiot ball, apparently. Mate, you can't defeat that bastard, he's like a fucking battleship.

See, TV Matriarch agrees with me... Wait... there's absolutely no need for TV Matriarch to put her hand on Cam Matriarch's boob - she's copping a feel!

Also, holy crap, how have I only just noticed Cam Matriarch's goth boots?

Polycephaly, my beloved! And what an entrance! I swoon!

My earlier point about robots becoming badass but losing some of their cute appeal still stands. The head upgrades make sense tactically but they're uncute. And my boy's lost his cuddly tendrils! Now he's got Ass-tro tech bolted on him.

Also he looks goofy with his tie tucked into his trousers instead of his waistcoat. Boo.

There was a visual glitch at this point in which Buzzsaw's helmet temporarily despawned, but Boom appears to have fixed it.

"Someone is dying... and it's not me." OUGGGHHH HOLY CRAP!! Titan TV, my beloved!!

Also he flares out his back-spikes at this point and it's so good, hnnnngh.

Fuckin' no-sells the Astro projectiles.

Interestingly, Titan TV now appears to have the ability to fire off little 'pellets' of energy from his core instead of just a huge-ass blast (note hyphen position; that's huge-ass blast, not huge ass-blast).

After swiping away the Astro projectiles, Titan TV proceeds to get one of his monitor extensions chewed off. Oops. He seems strangely unbothered by this! It almost looks as though he turns his head towards the Astro to let it happen.

Excellent Astro grump face:

"Look at me!" (Okay, but why didn't you do that before Matey Boy bit your screen off?)

Goddamn, I love what Boom does with Toilet expressions; they're hilarious!

Decapitation!

Unfortunately, some other fucker arrives and manages to both deplete the Titan's back-spikes and smash his main screen.

The Astro strider appears to break the Titan's screen by getting behind his head and then suddenly pushing his head forward. Did the Titan's screen break on his own core-spikes? Or just from the stress on his head-casing?

The Titan does appear to catch the Astro in his back-spikes (and then fling the Astro away), which presumably is how the Astro breaks some of the spikes off.

"Your Titan wouldn't want you to die meaninglessly. Leave, while you still can." TVs are rude fuckers but they do still care about their comrades! That's why I love them best.

This prick shows up. I get the feeling they were muttering 'If you want something done right, do it yourself'. This Astro fights more competently than the last two.

Fortunately, Titan TV is saved from total annihilation by the Cams firing a shot from their tank, which buys the Titan enough time to counter-attack... and say a very curious line.

"You can't kill the dead!"

Is this just trash-talking, or an actual lore drop?? "I'll show you what the other side looks like!"

Is this an implication that TVs come from dead humans (or believe that they do)? Maybe TVs believe that they're already dead, because the state of the world is so shitty that it must be already Hell?

Or maybe this is just like Pete Weber, who got so excited bowling that he ended up saying "Who do you think you are? I am! Dammit right!"

Either way, we're treated to one of the most brutal deaths in the series, in which Titan TV crushes the Astro's head in his bare hands.

Polycephaly comforts the dying Cam who managed to fire the distracting shot. "You did well, lil bro." My heart!

"We teleported everyone to base." Except POV Cam, because they smell.

Also where's your head-turrets? (I hope Boom puts them back in the full episode.)

Titan TV is wrecked but is still spoiling for a rumble. Part 3 ends with him calling out the arriving Astros as 'pathetic trash' and demanding to fight Juggernaut. (One detail I liked here is that we hear the rhythmic clanking sound of Titan TV's core claws, rotating but no longer smoothly. It's rather like the ominous ticking of a clock signalling impending doom.)

Wait... if he has no working TV screens, he's not Titan TV Man. He's just Titan Man. Ehehe.

It's a little surprising how 2-dimensional these fights are - as in the characters stay in one plane close to the ground, even though they can all fly. I suppose we'd have to wait even longer between episodes if Boom had to choreograph swooping aerial fights!

[omegapheromone]

I think about my identity in the context of Omegaverse a lot- I've always struggled with it, but recently, I've had even more thoughts.

I've always (for as long as I've known what omegaverse is) identified as an omega.

But what tends to mess with my self-perception is that I've always been some flavour of demisexual at the very least, even without the sexual trauma that has just caused me to be even more avoidant and scared of intimacy.

Topics of sexuality/libido, sex, etc below, NSFW. Kink mentions, sexual trauma mentions, also mentions of past abusive partners etc. It's just a long ramble

And, sometimes I wonder, am I aromantic? Demiromantic? I don't think I am, but at the same time, while I experience crushes and strong emotions, every relationship I've been in has usually been shadowed by this sense of, it always seems like I'm far more detached and independent than the other person is.

Maybe it's a neurodivergency thing- but I'm usually perfectly happy without constant connection to a partner. I actually like to have plenty of my own alone time where I can be alone. I enjoy stuff like cuddling and affection, but I don't feel like I need constant displays of care/affection, especially verbal. I don't feel the need to be constantly messaging a partner if it's long distance. I struggle to say the word "love" (though this could probably be trauma as well). I find myself disinterested and passive fairly often, especially when a partner is trying to get something from me (whether it be affection, sex, etc- I feel like it becomes a chore when it's being demanded of me). I don't need constant hourly updates on their daily life, nor do I necessarily feel the need to check in on them myself, especially not as often as my past partners have insisted on checking in with me (at minimum once every 30-60minutes). To me it's usually just a given that they're probably fine, they've been fine before I was in their life so why would they not be, when I am in their life? That type of logic. I hope I don't sound callous or unfeeling, because it's not that- I genuinely do care very much, and feel very deeply for people, but maybe the way I express or show it is just... wrong, or dysfunctional, or not there, the way it should be.

And idk, I just often feel a little broken, in some way, as an omega. I'm quite passive and struggle to show emotion. I desire to have a romantic partner because I do know I at least experience crushes and aesthetic/visual attraction, and I enjoy many aspects of a relationship of that sort- the companionship, the emotional value, the easily available physical comfort of cuddles and such, and so on. But, at the same time, I feel broken. I can't tell if all my partners have actually just been super obsessive over me, or if I'm the problem and don't care enough, somehow.

My libido is also actually very low, and honestly, I prefer to take care of my own needs myself because sex with a partner usually has just felt like a chore where I need to look and sound sexy and make a partner feel nice. Honestly I hate to admit it even though they were abusive and it shouldn't bother me to say it, but like, 90% of my orgasms with my previous long-term partner irl were fake. A part of it was bc they would act all self-deprecating and pitiful and question if I even found them attractive or wanted to be with them at all and that's why I wasn't able to cum (no, idiot, I have a lot of sexual and sex-related trauma, that's why!!) But I think another part was just... it mostly felt like something I needed to act to "play my part" so that I could complete this "chore". My mind also usually wandered and I struggled to stay "in the mood" to begin with, usually I would be thinking about mundane things or daydreaming instead of actually being in the moment. To some extent, sensory deprivation play helps with that, but that's not always viable, especially when my partners have usually been ones with insanely high libidos (which I mean, should have been a red flag from the start since it did end up with me feeling coerced/coaxed into sex on multiple occasions, but I can't blame their toxic traits on it since it was ultimately me who didn't speak up and say no, and I was too cowardly to break up despite this obvious incompatibility (among others))

Iirc I've always somewhat identified with the demisexual/demiromantic labels, ever since I started discivering my own sexuality. But I always wonder how much of it is a reaction that's caused by trauma and distrust and me being neurodivergent, and how much is actually just my sexuality. I think I've never really been able to explore it because I've never actually felt safe, even with past partners who technically did 'care', and wanted me to feel safe, but would emotionally manipulate me if I struggled with it (again, "why don't you trust me, do you hate me, am I evil and horrible, why don't you feel safe with me? Am I not good enough??" Type bs, and I hate that it worked on me back then). Idk, now I'm getting to an age where most people my age have a long-term partner already and I'm kinds just used to being single and such, and even though I want romance, the whole idea of letting anyone close enough to get to know me is actually just so daunting that I wonder if it's better I just give up on dating entirely, especially since omegaverse puts a LOT of emphasis on mates and mating. I'm not a believer in fated pairs either, not since an abuser used a similar concept to manipulate me into staying with them multiple times

Honestly I can't remember where I was going with this. I think I just had thoughts and needed to express them somehow? Idk. But, anyway. Sorry for the random rant, especially if you read the whole thing- it's a lot of text and quite disjointed and disorganized, and I don't really even have a takeaway or conclusion or main point to any of this

[zrllosyn-art]

Some recent Kitsune AU doodles. The kija ones!

its kc’s au but i have honest to god run off with it

[oldcrowshag]

i would be super interested in hearing more about michigan bc i live up north ^.^ thanks for making that post, i didn't grow up here so i hadn't heard that legend before!!

Up North

apologies in the delay.

"Up North" in itself is such a liminality. ask a michigander where in the state the landscape turns into "Up North" (bonus points if you get them to point out places on their map-hands) and you'll probably get a different answer from everyone. Up North becomes analogous for the old ways-- an escape from Life and the sales tax of living it, diving headfirst into the woods just like the perfect arc you practiced on the dock behind your grandparents' cottage every summer. it's an encounter with the Lakeshore, because when you're Up North you have your pick of small seas to commune with. it's also foggy dawn meadows, and barren lonely winters, and small gas stops on a rural corner, and bears, and cougars, and wolves if you're lucky, and yes the fucked up deer. Up North has a smell, and honestly it's probably just fresh air. you live in a land of conservatives, anon, but also of wonder. keep your wits and learn its ways!!

anyway, speaking of lakes. as I said you could honestly reside anywhere in half of the state, so I'm electing to go Way Up North until I hit the beastly Lake Superior (gichi-gami in ojibwe). when you speak on her, you cannot help but let a certain reverence enter your voice. she's the deepest lake on the continent and holds 10% of the world's fresh water, and we have a saying about her:

Lake Superior never gives up her dead.

she's cold. most plants and animals don't survive on the bottom. it's the land of sponges and darkness. it's too cold for bacteria, so when a soul ends up down there, it stays there. if you aren't aware of the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald (rip gordon lightfoot) give it a listen if you want a good sea ballad. something similar happened to the USS Kamloops, and her captain went down with the ship. he remains preserved in the wreck to this day and can only be visited by expert divers. Superior has claimed an estimated 10000 lives, and many of those bodies are never seen again. she acts as psychopomp, a void you can slip into on a warm summer day. the deep water has long been associated with death energy-- in my personal practice I link waters in helping to venerate my ancestors and commune with certain deities. how would you use Her water and Her stones? when you greet Her after dark, and face the roaring yawn of the dark surf with no opposite shore, what do you hear within yourself? do you acknowledge the death She wears on a proud brow while birthing life out on the windswept shores? what would you consecrate in Her waters? yourself?

high summer is coming for us, anon. I suggest you hit the lake if you can, any one will do 😊

(I intend on writing more about Michigan craft and lore when I have the time but lmk if anyone is interested in that in my asks because hearing encouragement is nice lol)

[omegapheromone]

I say it more like misecanis, mis- being said somewhat close to "miss" (i.e. to long for, or to fail to hit a target) but ending with an e instead. I also drop the sc to just a soft s-sound, and the c in canis being a more harsh sound. Something like, mis-e-Canis? This might just be because I'm not a native english speaker though.

For any Miscecanis/Miscelupus/Omegaverse Enthiuasts, and/or Linguists!! I have a question!!!!!

Please include as much info on phonetics as possible in replies/rbs (ex: you pronounce the ‘misce’ prefix as ‘meesk’ instead ‘misk’)

[fingernailathome]

DBD COMMUNITY ARE YOU SEEING THIS???

like??

not sure how this is gonna be done but it’ll def be super lore focused prob. idk i don’t think i could take it seriously as a horror movie with the typical dbd experience but who knows.

JUST REALLY HOPING TGEY ADD MY FAV CHARACTER 🤩🤩🤩😍😍😍 (but they won’t cuz they def can’t add licenses)

[proteas-leaf]

I have nothing to do so why not? F-H Remyandre OCs/Characters!

Enjoy!

He Is Finn (not from Alphabet Lore-). He Is Allison's ex, but they are still friends, so he Is kinda fine. He appears in the first book.

In your language, her name Is Red Butterfly. But, in italian, She Is Farfalla Rossa (Farfalla=Butterfly; Rossa=Red). She lives in another dimension called Chiglosk, where She takes care of killed children. She Is secretly the "killed Kids" goddess. 4 and 7 books.

/Fun fact! Her crown of flowers Is One of the most powerful things in the world./

She Is Fayrys! Selestia's big sister and twin of someone that you Will meet in this post!

Faultman. He Is the only deer in Every dimension I created (I am a deer too XD-oh, I forgot to say that the One Who Is talkin'here Is Leaf- Sorry:<). Anyway. He Is a soldier Who deeply cares about everyone, but he Is an idiot too. He contributes to lock all the different creatures in a prison center of his boss, Mr Harvest in the seventh book.

Genym Is his name. He Is kinda special. Do you see his face? Well, let me explain: when someone Is Born in a Place where there Is Fog, this happens. The person has got One Eye and black skin. 1-8 book I guess?

Gamy! In this screen, he Is finally feeling an emotion, because he was emotionless in the First book. When he Met Iricami, he started feeling ... Himself.

She Is Hannah. Her second name Is Enola. She Is the child which Ayrah takes care of. She Is Born with ADHD, so Ayrah Is like her only friend. Children do not like Hannah, even thought She Is a good kid. 2 and 7 book.

Last one, Holly! Her real name Is Asia, but She changed It in Holly because everyone in her past city (called Mega city) called her like this. She was an heroine. And She still Is. Her Power Is the speed. She Is Fayrys's twin and Selestia's big sister. 1-8 book?

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!1!!1!!1💜

[yayjaysposts]

Gami, the intergalactic idol

So I was invited to participate in a gallery where the main theme was Retrofuturism and this was what I tought would fit. I fell in love with the character that was supposed to be only a pretty face, so I ended up adopting her and making some lore that Imma share later skdjaslkd

[askcameralabteam]

That’s a lot- lemme just ( immediately claps )

BEAUTIFUL LORE GAMIE!

B e h o l d

The most high-effort shitpost I've ever made.