#gamie lore

[omegapheromone]

Misce and Me: Presenting as Omega, First Heat, and The Neck Thing.

OK so this post has been a long time in the making! I may actually start a new tag/post series of my personal experiences with my misce identity and such, and call it "Misce and Me" since it's a cool little title.

The whole idea for this post in the first place started from an offhanded thought of, "my neck being a very sensitive erogenous zone is actually very omega of me, huh?" But I never managed to put it into words since I kept going on tangents and just struggling to explain what I meant in a concise way that could've been made into a short personal post, especially since there's a much longer story there that it ties in to, a sort of contextual "how I realized I have a super sensitive neck/what might've caused it" type thing. I'll have to put some warnings here and the rest of the post will be under the cut both for the sake of length and content. It's nothing explicitly sexual, but does brush on the topic at times.

Warning: some parts of this post will likely mention sexuality/related topics, and contains a lengthy story about a personal experience with a crush from years ago. This post will also likely be a long read, so I'm putting it under the cut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright then. Let me get started.

This is an actual IRL thing that happened to me. I'm not mentioning the names of the people involved for obvious reasons.

As I said, originally this post was going to be very short, just a paragraph or two, about how my neck is very sensitive to touch in general and how people touching my neck can be either a fear trigger, or incredibly comforting and/or pleasant, depending on my mood and who is touching me, among other things. I was just going to talk about that at first, but then I realized how it actually ties in to a lot of other things, namely, what I tend to consider my "first heat", and the time that marks me "presenting" as an omega for the first time (i.e. starting to exhibit the traits of my dynamic). It's also a source for some of my personal headcanons regarding omegaverse and/or misce, since it comes from actual personal experiences.

Disclaimer 2: I feel it's necessary to state that all of this happened when both me and the person this is mostly about- someone I had an unrealized crush on- were around the age of 16 or 17. We never dated, and nothing explicit ever happened, but considering we WERE minors at the time (2015/2016ish), I want to be extra clear and state that no consent laws would have been broken in my country even if we HAD dated/anything had happened. Still, I want to keep things vague, especially about the other person, out of respect for privacy. Nobody (save for the person himself, maybe one or two close friends who were present to witness this all at the time, and the handful of people I've recounted this story to afterwards,) would be able to recognize either me or the other person from this.

"Hmm, I hear you, Gamie, but necks ARE erogenous zones for pretty much everyone? Are you sure it's not just that?"

The original topic of this post would have been just a short anecdote of "it's very omega of me to have such a sensitive neck", so let me start by prefacing and expanding on that a little;

My neck is very sensitive to touch, and I have strong reactions whenever it is touched, no matter what kind of touch- medical-related, platonic, romantic affection, or sexual, it's always noticeable, and has to do a lot with who is touching me. For example, medical professionals don't bother me so much since it's usually for a good reason but I do tend to wince/tense up regardless, and while I don't like my family touching my neck, sometimes I'll ask for a shoulder massage and it's unavoidable, so I don't mind too much, even though both cause some minor anxiety, which is likely to do with the fact that I feel vulnerable when my neck is touched. Meanwhile, close friends, or people who are flirting with me (and I'm receptive towards) touching my neck tends to send a lot of mixed signals that are usually pleasant, but also somewhat hesitant/embarrassed (depending on the situation). Partners (romantic/sexual) touching my neck almost always gets a positive reaction though, whether it's just stroking my neck/back of my head or more intimate acts, i.e. kissing etc. Because of the sensitivity, it's almost always a massive distraction and often also a turn-on for me. I tend to consider this to be inherently tied to my identity as an omega, even though it's not necessarily abnormal since necks in general do tend to be sensitive- mine is just a lot more than I assume most others'?

Back when I was around 16, 17 years old and went to high school, I had just started to figure out my gender identity (transmasc) a few years prior, and back then especially, I had this very, very strong feeling that I need to present as masculine as possible so that people will "take my gender identity seriously" instead of just thinking I'm "following a fad" or something. I actually passed as a boy so well that I was only really clocked when teachers would occasionally use the wrong name (deadname) and I'd have to correct them- thankfully, all were understanding about it.

Well, it might be. But to me, I just tend to associate it with being an omega specifically. And maybe mine is a bit more sensitive than usual as I said, though, I haven't exactly experienced living in the body of anyone BUT myself, so I can't say I know for sure. The reason I associate it so strongly with my being an omega has a lot to do with how and when I started REALLY noticing the sensitivity, as it happened around the same time I tend to associate as the time when I "first presented as an omega" and had my first heat. It'd been a thing all my life for sure, but it never felt like an erogenous zone, just a sensitive one, until I was maybe 16 or 17 years old and in (the local equivalent of) high school. I actually figure I'd go into a personal story of mine since I've been wanting to talk about it, just never found the chance to. So, I'm going to tell the misceblr my actual irl story of the time I had a crush and started presenting as an omega around the same time.

This may end up being quite lengthy, so get comfortable, I suppose. I'll start with some background to everything;

Well, in high school, it was also the first time I'd ever had someone flirt with me IRL, since I had been bullied for a long time before that, and had basically zero confidence beyond spite and anger at the people who had made my school years a living hell before then. I wasn't completely blameless either, but looking back now, I realize all my issues with others when I was younger were honestly just caused by my ADHD symptoms, and that went undiagnosed until this year.

The person who flirted with me was a cis guy, who I'd more or less assumed was straight, and so I just brushed it all off as like... oh he's just doing that "dudebro affection" thing, because at the time, I would mainly hang out with guys, and occasionally a few queer/nonbinary/ally friends who mainly were in different classes than my own. So, given that the group both he and I were in WAS mostly straight(ish???) Cis Dudes, I never really saw any of it as more than weird ways of showing affection, when this guy would do stuff like pet my hair or brush his hand against the back of my neck, or find any excuse to touch me in general, usually specifically the neck region (excuses such as, "Oh hey your hair is shorter did you get it cut?" And then touching the back of my neck/base of my skull under the disguise of feeling that "fresh haircut feel" or whatever. Yes, looking back, I was oblivious as hell). This kind of stuff had always made me tense up slightly and sent shivers down my spine, honestly likely because I hadn't ever had anyone touch my neck in a way that wasn't either completely accidental or obviously fully platonic, and it was emotionally difficult to process something that was so new and overwhelming. I used to think I didn't blush easily, but looking back, I'm certain he would've clearly seen me go red in the face from just those touches alone, and if he'd been straight, I imagine he would've commented on it and stopped, instead of persisting. (Also, I later found out he was very likely at least Bi, if not gay, but at that point we had already lost contact, sadly)

At some point during the fall semester, I had gone to school extremely tired, having a bad hair day, feeling sleep deprived and grumpy, probably about to get my period or something and hence even more irritable than usual. I was on time for class and went in, sat in the middle seats, next to some girls I knew well enough but weren't REALLY friends with, mainly because none of the guys I USUALLY sat with in this class had arrived yet, and I thought they might've been skipping class anyway. They eventually arrive after class has already started, and the guy who had been making advances towards me walks past to go to the back row seats (as usual) but on the way, he reaches towards me in an attempt to pet my hair/pat my head or something, a gesture he did often, and I actually usually enjoyed, however, this time I was worried about my hair, since I'd spent an hour trying to get it to look decent, and the amount of hairspray I'd used was probably not very healthy for my lungs (ah, my pop punk quirky phase was... something)- So as he touches my head, I send a sideways glare at him out of annoyance, maybe pushed his hand away as well if I recall correctly. Only- I'd already been in a bad mood all morning, and my glare must've been exceptionally cold, because his expression kind of dropped, and he hurried to his seat. I didn't think much of it at first, I'd rejected touches like that on occasion before and shown some frustration in the past when I'd been in a bad mood, and though he'd avoid me for a bit to let me cool off, he would always end up talking to me again in a day or two at least. This time, though, was a bit different.

I feel that I first "presented" as an Omega, somewhat tied to all of this happening with me and that guy, around that age. I had of course been aware of the omegaverse trope for a long time- I mean, I grew up reading fanfic, so duh- and to some degree related to (omegaverse), but didn't REALLY look for fics etc themed around it specifically. This guy, I won't describe him too much beyond that he was a bit taller than me and had a bit of a "skater guy" type style + would ride his skateboard around the halls no matter how much teachers told him to stop lmao. I never felt that he was "my type" in particular, but we clicked well with similar senses of humour and overall he was a comfortable presence in a way I hadn't really experienced before, especially since I'd dealt with so many bullies pretending to be friendly only to mock me later, but he was never like that at all, even when I was paranoid and pushed him away because I feared he WAS. He was also very touchy with me, as I already explained, and a lot of it adds up to me now as courting behaviors, and I do fully think thay if he were misce he'd almost certainly identify as an alpha.

But, anyway- looking back, there was a point in time when I started realizing that this guy probably was flirting with me- it didn't FULLY hit me until years later though, and when I first started suspecting it, it was more like a vague feeling that I couldn't fully confirm. It was actually a specific instance/situation that happened between me and him that finally clued me in and made me consider the possibility, and this instance is what I actually tend to think probably triggered my first heat too, so I'll talk briefly about that, but I also need to give some context of what had happened before;

It was some time around or just before the winter/christmas holidays, one of the last days of school before break, when we went to like, an art gallery or something similar- neither of us wanted to attend the church service since neither of us considered ourselves believers of the christian faith most common here anyway, AND it was a LOT more fun to look at some pop art than to sit in a church listening to some guy talk about jesus and whatnot. I had actually heard he woulf be going to the gallery so to some degree, I had planned to confront him there- I also figured that there would likely be some group/pair exercises, so I was able to use that opportunity to spend a bit of time around him and engage in some playful banter and joking around just like we had been, before I'd unintentionally given him the coldest death-glare fuelled by a lack of caffeine known to man. At first, he came across as really nervous and flighty, but I made sure to just be casual and joke around normally, to try and show him that he didn't need to fear interacting with me- I still don't know why it had been so upsetting to him at the time to be honest- maybe he was scared I was rejecting him or something- and why he had put so much energy in avoiding me, but honestly, seeing him relax slowly and realize that I truly had not meant to make him think I'd suddenly started hating his guts when I'd just woken up grumpy that day, and that there was no need to avoid me like that, considering I was treating him completely normally, if not even more friendly than before.

He avoided me for months. Even when we HAD TO share a class or were hanging out with the same friends (who in hindsight must've been going insane just watching this dumb af back-and-forth of me being oblivious and the guy being obvious). It actually genuinely confused me- I only figured later on what had caused it (my glare), and when I did, I started to try and look for ways to show him that I didn't hate him nor was I mad or upset at him, but he would quite literally slip away at the first possible chance, so I never was able to talk to him one-on-one enough, until a month or two at least had passed.

Anyway, after the art gallery tour ended, we were standing in the lobby of the building it was hosted in, chatting a bit, since I had finally been able to talk to him and things seemed to be back to normal. We had obviously missed on a month's worth of hanging out and chatting at school, after all, so I imagine the both of us were really relieved and happy to have things be alright again.

Now, Back then, I was in a strange quirky tumblr-influenced half-emo half-pop-punk phase where I would incorporate stuff from other styles and aesthetics kind of randomly as I saw fit, and at that specific time, I'd been really into steampunk-y stuff, and had taken to wearing these steampunk goggles I'd bought at some point either as a headband, or more commonly, around my neck, like a necklace, because I was 16-17ish and thought it was Cool And Different™ (year was like, 2015/2016? I think?) And I was having a very weird phase back then anyway... Well, he notices the goggles and comments on them and asks if he can take a closer look at said goggles, I say, oh sure yeah!, fully expecting him to wait for me to take them off and hand them to him to look, since, you know, at that age I was EMBARRASSINGLY oblivious, and genuinely thought he was actually interested in looking at the goggles (this one goes out for all the autistic friends I have who keep telling me I'm autistic. Maybe you're right.(/hj))

Instead, he grabs the goggles and pulls ME closer. By the neck. Not like, in a way that chokes me or hurt me in any way, more like a gentle tug- the goggles had an elastic band, so it was more like a slight tugging sensation at the back of my neck that made me take a step forwards and lean in- plus, he did it slowly enough that it wasn't like a sudden yank but more like a gentle, persistent tug. I could have very easily pulled back and told him I'd take them off so he could look, but honestly, I was a bit too mesmerized and didn't actually WANT to step away anyway. Yeah, it's cliché as hell now that I think about it- It's like a fanfic trope come to life, yknow, like pulling someone closer by their tie or whatever? But somehow real life. I was so surprised in the moment- not unpleasantly, but just, completely DID NOT expect to suddenly be barely a few inches away from his face (if that!) all of a sudden so I just completely freeze in place, confused and just baffled at the situation. In that moment I felt a lot of mixed feelings and signals, none bad, just very confused, because to ME it was very sudden and unexpected considering my utter obliviousness to all the previous moves he'd made on me. I think that was the point when I finally started suspecting that maaaaybe he had been flirting with me- or at least trying to test the waters with me, so to speak- this whole time (and even so, was in denial for years afterwards lmao- to this day I wonder if maybe I'm just reading into it too much and he honestly WAS just a dude being a bro and actually interested in the goggles after all). Honestly, to him, I must've looked truly ridiculous, wide-eyed, shocked/surprised expression, kinda frozen in place and not knowing what to do, and DEFINITELY blushing.

And to be honest my memory of the moment isn't the clearest because I was well and truly frozen like a deer in the headlights. All I remember is how the surprise felt like a bucket of ice water being poured over me because I didn't even dare to breathe at first, frozen in place and not knowing what to expect, and then melting really fast because I started feeling very dizzy and warm when my brain caught on (I imagine the realization made me blush, and that would have been the feeling of warmth or 'melting' as I put it). He DEFINITELY stayed like that way longer than necessary, just gently 'looking at the goggles' as though they were the most interesting object in the world- or, again, maybe they were, and I just FELT like the moment went on forever.

Anyway, nowadays, when I think of my life with the context of my misce identity, I tend to feel that this was the thing that triggered my first heat, because I remember that on our walk back to school, I'd started feeling strangely hot, sweaty and shaky, like, literally trembling afterwards- I felt hazy, almost feverish, and couldn't stop thinking about that moment at all (I think I explained what happened to an IRL friend and they just stared at me in confusion, like, "okay and???" As if it was not a big deal at all). Our school day was a lot shorter that day, because it was around the holidays, and I was so utterly confused about everything that the rest of the day is a complete blur to me, I barely remember getting a happy holidays type card from this other person who had kind of been pursuing me (which is an entirely different story) and some presents from friends. Iirc, I basically bolted home from school at the first opportunity, though iirc the guy (the one this whole thing has been about) also left me a card of some kind, but honestly at that point I was way too mushy-brained to retain many memories. I don't really even remember what happened when I got back home, but knowing me, and how I am when in heat, I can make a few educated guesses which I won't share.

Anyhow, I tend to think of that day as the day I'd had my first "heat" as an omega, because I remember feeling really warm, shaky, and just, all kinds of feelings. Honestly, at the time, I wasn't sure of my own feelings for him because I was just kind of confused about everything and still figuring it all out- I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to romance, anyway, but looking back, I'm pretty damn sure I'd had a crush on him for quite a while as well, otherwise I wouldn't have been so sad and disappointed that he started avoiding me after I glared at him, and definitely would not have been so shocked and reacted so strongly to that situation in the art gallery lobby. I recall feeling like he had me under some sort of spell, honestly, which is kind of silly thinking back- but if he had pulled me any closer or, gods forbid, kissed me for example, I think my knees would've ACTUALLY given in right there. I wasn't far from it to begin with.

So the neck thing- I think, it started because someone I would classify/headcanon as an alpha (in omegaverse terms, not the, 'alpha male' kind, DUH), whom I was interested in, and who seemed to clearly be interested in me, kept finding excuses to touch my neck. It was always sensitive, and I could feel the touch sort of linger for a long time, days, at times. And after that incident, my neck has always been hypersensitive, ESPECIALLY during heats. It's actually to the point that if a partner touches me in a similar (romantic/sexual) way, my knees just go kind of weak immediately, and I feel dizzy, because it's overwhelming to me. Maybe it's because necks are vulnerable and sensitive, but for me it's specifically the back and sides of my neck that are the MOST sensitive, not necessarily the region of my windpipe/etc. Similarly, when it's a person I have no interest in who is touching me, I tense up, instead of "freezing and then melting" which is how I felt on That Day. It's a pretty strong signal to my brain that I should probably become pliant and relaxed and obedient, as well as a "hey maybe I should be getting aroused about this?" Brain-thing, BUT if it's coming from someone I don't see as a potential partner but who seems to have romantic or sexual intent regardless, it feels more like an attempt at dominating or controlling me, which causes some anxiety.

As an afterthought, I wanna add that there are close friends I have who could touch my neck and I wouldn't mind at all- either they're so close platonically that I'm fully okay with it, or I'm 110% confident there is absolutely ZERO sexual intent behind their actions. If anything, I'd probably just relax and feel drowsy, more than anything, if touched like that.

Basically, this instance has shaped a big part of my headcanons on scruffing, dynamic presenting, heats and heat triggers, and much more. I don't think that this random guy I haven't talked to in almost a decade actually made me "awaken as an omega" as some versions of omegaverse put it, but I do think that during that fall I was starting to present anyway, and the things he did (touching my neck, petting my hair, etc) affected things that trigger my heats because of the emotional/psychological associations. I think that I would have presented anyway, and had a first 'heat' around that time anyway, but I think my crush on him and his constant touchy-feely-ness definitely sped up the process.

It's kind of a shame that this was the closest we ever got, in a way- back then I was still in contact with a very abusive person who basically forbade me from interacting with other people almost entirely, and it was one of the biggest reasons I was so shy and hesitant around this guy, even when I wanted to reciprocate somehow. It's such a shame because I haven't ever really felt a similar kind of pull towards anyone else after that, the relationships I've been in since have all started because someone else had been interested in me first and approached and courted me, and I'd ended up slowly getting attached and becoming fond of them. Not that that's a bad way to get into a relationship when it works out- I mean more that there's never really been a similar feeling of complete breathlessness and being flustered and mesmerized the same way this guy was able to make me feel by just gently pulling at my neck a little. Other people have certainly tried, and most exes are aware my neck is a very sensitive spot for me, but it's never affected me quite so strongly since this guy back in High School. Maybe it's just because I was young and clueless and far more easily affected by flirting and such, sure- it's just a bit, I don't know, sad? I guess, since it never really went anywhere with that guy. We grew apart, and never ended up getting closer, and I've never had the chance to let him know I was interested in him the whole time, nor explain the actual situation with the glare I gave him and why it must've seemed so out-of-nowhere (when the truth was I'd just had the shittiest morning imaginable to my teenage self). I did follow him on a social media app with my personal profile some time ago recently though, and he followed me back, so maybe one day we'll reconnect properly, but who knows. It's pretty cliché and I don't actually hold out any hope that the same person who had me weak in the knees in high school would be similarly magnetic to me now that I'm an actual adult, nearly a decade older than I was back then- it's more like, I just have a few regrets, and wish I'd said something back then? But most of all, I hope I can experience a similar kind of attraction again some day, regardless of who it is for. A crush like that, when the other person is also giving signals, is very magical, and the smallest things feel super flustering. It's even better when the other person is a genuinely good person, like he was. Definitely leagues above the trash I was settling for back then because I had zero self-confidence and thought that nobody who actually treated me kindly and with respect would ever truly love me.

Actually, I could honestly talk about that guy for quite a long while, since I have a lot of fond memories of him, and high school in general, but I'd end up going on for even longer, and my main point was to just tell the story of the time I started 'presenting' as an omega (though I didn't know that's what it was until much later), and what I consider to be my first actual heat, as well as talk about the fact that my neck is extremely sensitive and it's always been kind of amusing to me since it's a VERY omega thing.

To the guy I'm talking about, if you somehow find this and thus my blog, firstly, I'm sorry THIS is how you (most likely) find out that I actually had a crush on you the whole time and SECONDLY, I am so sorry you now have to know I'm into some (relatively) weird things. Dm me?

Oh and to anyone who is NOT that guy but recognizes this story and now knows who I am, you didn't see SHIT. Look away, bitch, erase this from your brain, none of your business.

Uhm. Anyway, I wanted to add a bit more about the neck sensitivity, since it's the source of my headcanons for how omegas in general would have very sensitive necks (which is one reason for why some choose to wear collars or chokers or other similar accessories, as a way to feel more "protected" or "covered up")

I ended up discovering a lot of these things later on as an adult, in other relationships I had, but.

Most of my neck is very sensitive. The front (throat) has some spots, but the most noticeably erogenous areas are the sides of my neck, the spots right below my ears and jawbone, and the back of my neck from where my back connects to my neck, all the way up to the base of my skull. The types of touch that tend to get the strongest responses out of me are usually the, someone placing their hand on the back of my neck gently but like, firmly enough to make me aware of it, especially if they're using that to guide me around etc. It feels like a subtle physical "sign of claiming/courting someone", or a signal of intending to do so.

General Headcanons;

Since I tend to imagine bonding bites would be on the back of the neck (muscles, less vessels and delicate structures to injure, etc), it's a sort of headcanon that touching that region in general is a pretty flirtatious/strong signal of intended courtship when done to an omega. It's not necessarily only a courtship/flirtation thing, it could also be a sort of equivalent to scruffing, an action that feels reassuring and causes the omega to subconsciously relax and become calm and agreeable IF done by someone they trust (friend or partner or family, etc). I imagine that some alphas and betas also do it to their omega partners in public on occasion to show to others who might seem interested in the omega, that the omega is already being "courted" or "claimed" (especially when no bonding/mating bites are visible or present for whatever reason). Since the action of placing a hand on the back of an omega's neck is basically covering their scent glands, it has a similar message as kissing your partner some stranger has been oogling, just to let them know they're "not available". I tend to headcanonize that it's seen as rude and intrusive to do it to omegas you do NOT know well, for example first dates, one-night-stands, or people you've just started getting to know, and people who do that before there's been any signals of interest or even courtship are, in many cultures, seen as the asshole type who is just trying to get into the pants of any omega they see. It's not quite a form of PDA, more like a social cue that expresses both interest and intent to the omega without being overly obvious or intimate, as well as gives some "hey back off" type vibes to other people. I imagine this works with betas and alphas too, to some extent, but when done to any other dynamic it's generally seen more as a protective or friendly gesture, instead of one that expresses romantic/sexual interest in any way, since my headcanon is that omegas in general have the most sensitive necks out of any dynamic.

[omegapheromone]

So uhhhh. This will likely be a long response, and it goes into a lot of detail regarding knowing what I Am Not vs knowing what I Am, trauma and how trauma affects identity and expression, self-doubt and growing up being questioned about my identity's "validity" constantly, etc.

Honestly, I don't have a clear answer. I always just knew I was an omega- maybe a little atypical for one, but an omega regardless. My primary gender is somewhere between nonbinary and trans guy, and for the ease of it, I just say transmasc, even though my primary gender experience is fairly fluid especially when it comes to expressing it outwards. It's kind of the "opposite" when it comes to my secondary gender?

I got a lot of "well are you sure you're not just a tomboyish girl?" Type comments growing up and discovering my primary gender. Despite how angering it was, I always had a degree of anxiety of, what if that IS the case? But over time, I realized I've never identified with that definition at all. I just instinctively know I am not a girl, woman, female, whatever. None of those terms apply to me in any capacity, no matter what I wear or how my gender identity fluctuates. I was also always worried- and occasionally still am to this day- that "what if my gender is only like this because I have severe trauma around the concept of girl/womanhood and being afab?". This thought has always haunted me- what if all that I identify with is like this just because if trauma, and once I start healing, I will suddenly become a girl again? ...Clearly that didn't happen, I've been in therapy for years now. Anxiety is still there, but now I know that my own concept of my gender identity is not just based on trauma around girlhood, and that I would have been transmasc even without such trauma.

In a similar, yet opposite vein, when I started discovering omegaverse (in fanfic etc, before I knew misce was a thing) I just knew I was an omega. There were similar doubts in my head though- I don't have any particularly strong maternal instinct, I don't like to be treated as something weak and fragile, I'm rather independent and a loner (or rather, have a tendency to push people away out of fear) and in many cases, and it's hard to get close to me because of the walls I put up. I can also be quite assertive, if not flat out stubborn at times, and have a very strong sense of justice and fairness, and being cared for makes me feel indebted to whoever does so, even if they're just doing it out of wanting to show care and appreciation. These are not really omega traits, so why do I think/believe I am an omega so strongly? How do I know I'm not a subdynamic of some sort?

To me, it was just a lot of looking inwards. Much like I realized I would be transmasc no matter what my trauma was, I realized that a lot of my non-omega-like traits are direct results of my traumatic past. I don't want children of my own because of my trauma around being one and thw concept of motherhood. I DO like kids, however, and genuinely enjoy being an older brother, older cousin, an uncle, godfather, etc. I'd be glad to be any of those things- especially with slightly older children who don't require constant caring for. I enjoy spoiling my youngest sibling, I enjoy spending time with my young cousins, etc. My maternal instinct is weak and to a degree nonexistent only because of trauma. I don't recall a life "before" trauma at all, but I like to think that maybe if I had grown up without any, I would love to have kids of my own as well. But, as it is, I don't think I will ever want any, no matter how much I heal, because it's been a part of my development for so long. I'll still be a fun and caring uncle, brother, etc, though.

That's just one example, of course. But it's very similar with all my other non-omega-like traits. Because of trauma, I grew up guarded, hypervigilant, suspicious of everyone and everything, etc. I grew up believing that anything nice done to/given to/expressed towards me was always just a bid to ensure I had to "do something in return", that there is no such thing as unconditional love or care. That anything good is always a trap to ensure I am indebted to someone else, so that they can hold that over my head and take advantage of me without me being able to/"allowed to" complain, because "I owe XYZ to them". I've experienced this so many times over and over that over time I've put up walls and tend to push people away if I start getting anxious that someone is "too nice" or "cares too much about me"- I always expect that 'care' to turn into abuse, possessiveness and treating me like I inherently am indebted to them just because they care about me. So I push people away when they get too close, and build walls to keep people away from getting that close to begin with.

The only reason I'm speaking so candidly and descriptively of things that someone could read and learn the ABC of how to hurt me, is because I've been in therapy for years, as I said. Even though a lot of these traits linger in some form (independence, feeling like I need to "give something in return in order to 'get even'", for example), I've learned to deal with them, and also recognize the signs of when someone is actually trying to use my trauma and insecurities as tools to manipulate me.

In any case, knowing that I am an omega is what I imagine it might feel to just know that you are cisgender regardless of any traits that don't fall under the stereotypical idea of what that gender would be. So if I WAS a woman, if someone asked, "well, how do you KNOW you're not a trans guy, how do you know you're 'just' tomboyish?" I'd feel a mixture of frustration and certainty, because I'd just know. I might've even considered it in the past- but have landed on the certainty that "it really is just a gnc way to express a gender, instead of being a different gender". So, in a sense, a complete opposite (yet strangely similar) to my primary gender identity. I KNOW that I am NOT just a "tomboyish girl", I KNOW that I AM transmasc. In a similar yet somewhat opposite way, I KNOW that I am NOT any other dynamic, I KNOW that I AM "just a slightly atypical" omega.

I uhh. I hope that makes sense? Just sort of knowing which traits are a product of trauma/upbringing, and feeling sort of insulted if anyone implies that those make me anything but an omega. My trauma did not make me dynamicfluid or dynamic-non-conforming, nor did it make me a subdynamic of any sort; my trauma made me traumatized, and I am an omega no matter how trauma affects the way I act, express my dynamic, or orherwise "am". Just like how trauma DID NOT make me transgender, I would have been transmasc regardless. If anything, my masc identity might actually be even stronger/less fluid without trauma, instead of being caused by it- and if anyone insinuated that my trauma is what made me trans, I'd feel angry, offended and frustrated at the idea.

Anyway there are also plenty of very stereotypical omega traits I have, a lot of them are buried underneath trauma and a fear of being vulnerable, but they exist, and are fully uncoverable with enough healing and time, and in terms of partners, consistent reassurance, trust and understanding of my situation.

Also, I've always had "heats". Various psych medications have occasionally lowered and/or gotten rid of my libido entirely, and changing them around a bunch seems to have made them unstable- but regardless, I can tell even if I'm psychologically completely disinterested- my body still reacts pretty consistently (though with certain meds said heats were shorter and less noticeable even physically). Still, that was always something that stood out to me as distinctly omegan.

So... how are y'all figuring out your dynamics?

Because I named myself "beta adjacent" for a reason LOL. Is it a desire y'all are feeling intrinsically or something y'all've just decided after taking a bunch of quizzes?

I've always thought of myself as an omega but wasn't sure if that was like... just me wanting to be special?

[byakuyasdarling]

I created their vampire x fairy au about a year ago and explained the lore in that post! I’ve been really tired over the last month, so I’ve only managed to complete Chibi drawings, so sorry T-T♥️ I like to think she grows flowers in her hair when she’s feeling strong positive emotions :) 🌸🍓

[All REBLOGS are appreciated and encouraged! —🌟] -> Do Not Interact if you: post, like, or reblog Nae//gami content, please

[ionianwanderer]

riot Gamies is vague about it but what do you think happened between high noon yone and yasuo i want to know ur thoughts bruther

From what crumbs Riot has given us about Yasuo’s High Noon skin pre the revamp of the skinline to include Southern Gothic aspects, it ties with his original lore pretty closely: A man trying to outrun the sins and the guilt he carries on his back. But with the introduction of Yone into the universe things tend to shake up a little bit more. So for my interpretation of the two:

A tale of two brothers heading west for new opportunities, nothing unheard of for those migrating across the eastern settlement. But to leave the humble little town their mother had settled in along with the ranch they’ve known since they were kids, it hadn’t come as a surprise for Yasuo to be the one setting out on his own first. Only for Yone to follow suit out of growing concern to protect his only sibling. So out west they went.

As time went on, the two made themselves a little life catching odd jobs in every town they stopped in through their travels. Wasn’t a fruitful life but it was what they could consider comfortable as they went about their journey westward. All this until Yasuo manages to catch the eyes of a few folks that weren’t too keen on the two brothers strutting into town. 

Something that Yasuo always found comfort in was the saloons in each stop of their journey, this was no different. Settling in at one of the many wooden tables among the rest of the patrons before a bottle of rum was placed on his table. Much to Yasuo’s detriment, he’d managed to settle himself exactly where a few of the regulars had carved their names into the edge of the heavy oak, and they weren’t too fond of finding the cowboy in their rightfully claimed abode. What results is a fight between the four of them, at first the snide comments turning to shoving and chairs being pushed over. Escalating further when one smashes a bottle against a table and threatens Yasuo with it, something he never took kindly to. And as the wild and reckless little brother he’d always been, Yasuo shoots first. The saloon erupts into more chaos then as the man lay bleeding and clutching the wound dealt by Yasuo’s trigger happy finger. Before long Yasuo’s gone, taking off through the Saloon doors and past Yone as he races towards the source of the chaos.

It makes Yone skid to a stop, kicking up dust and dirt as his body snaps towards the direction Yasuo ran. Men pour out from the Saloon and past him as Yone divides their numbers like a rock parting a stream, legs heavy as he watches onward. Questions racing through his mind until he’s shouldered roughly by another man who tells him Yasuo’s getting away. That’s when Yone moves, racing through the stampede after his own flesh and blood in order to grab him, set him straight, find out what happened and why he did it. But he never does quite make it to him.

Yasuo, who had been quick witted enough to cut a horse free from its post, climbs upon the beast’s back and hikes the reins high before snapping them harshly. Setting off galloping straight out of the town and kicking up the dust of regret in his escape. There’s a moment, as he braces himself low against the saddle, where he rears his head back over his shoulder to watch as they try to shoot him. Finding Yone, standing among the very men that now wanted him dead, still as can be, unbelieving that this is the thing that severs the tie between them. Yasuo squeezes his eyes shut when he turns to face the horizon as he snaps the reins once more. 

Yone never finds him again after that.

[leaf-is-singing-covers]

𝐇α𝗋𝗍𝖾ᑲ𝖾𝖾𝗌𝗍 - 𝐘α𝖾ᥣⱺ𝗄𝗋𝖾

The characters that "sing" this song and that will be present until I finish the covers of the Hayfields EP of Yaelokre are mostly known in my book. They're William, Nadia, Gamy and Brennesle. 

This is how they look like in THIS AU.

Now, Brennesle is the only one that isn't present in Remyandre. Also, for the ones who don't know who the characters are in Remyandre's there's an explanation in the general info of them, here:

(warning: genders and sexualities are not shown due to the fact that the Yaelokre Universe doesn't have genders and all this stuff. People are just people, they all go by they/them)

William/Will: also called The Moss, they're sibling of Nadia. They have the ability to heal wounds and scars with plants and nature. In Remyandre, where he's a boy, he has got lilac hair, emerald green eyes and "chocolate-colored" skin. They're caring, calm, immortal like their sister, and tend to see the positive side of the situation. In this song, they'll do some background voices with Gamy;

Nadia: also called The Olive, they're the sibling of Will. They can heal with magic and cast spell for anything. In Remyandre, where she's a girl, she looks like her brother. She has got longer hair and usually wears a green and long dress. They're immortal, like their brother, and are also kind and calm. They and Will are actually very similar, and they care a lot for each other :). In this song, they'll be the lead singer;

Gamy: to be funny, I'd say to remove the third letter from the name to explain some stuff about him. Anyways, they're also called The Shapeshifter, and they are the Keeper of the earth (mostly rocks, minerals and more stuff, that's what I mean), have the ability to read minds and can also be a healer and cast spell. In Remyandre, he is a boy and has got dark skin and greenish and long hair, mostly tied in a some kind of braid. His eyes are of a moss/close to gold green. They tend to be rigid, serious, but extroverted. In this song, they'll mostly whisper;

Brennesle: not much will be shown about them in the story. Also called The Echo, they're an ancestor of Iricami - main character of my original story, and this makes them the past Keeper of the Ice. When they died, they gifted their power of reading minds to Gamy and their power of the Ice to "the last son of the most evil in the future generation of family". She's not shown in Remyandre, where she is classified as a girl, but in this AU they have got light blonde hair, almost white, light skin, grey eyes and is known for always wearing something for the winter in every season. Even summer. In this song, they'll have the highest and softest voice. 

The AU lore: 

Basically, there is this group of young kids that begin to sing together to understand more the world. In this AU, Gamy also knows how to shapeshift. Maybe he also knows that in the original AU. Who knows?

They begin to sing to discover the past of their magical kind. And that is the time of Hartebeest. 

Soon I'll post an animation/video that will show better the moments where they sing.

Enjoy 🌾🌻

[omegapheromone]

About the Drop thing, from a lifestyler perspective.

It's very similar to hypoarousal fainting/collapse, which is a real response to intense stress and a whole thing with (c-)ptsd and other trauma-related disorders. Where you might think of hyperarousal as the fight/flight/freeze response, hypoarousal is more like the "flop/faint" response, where you become incredibly numb. (Freeze response can actually fall into either hyper- or hypoarousal, as well, since it's about whether you're tensed up and hypervigilant vs limp and numb/unresponsive.) A little graphic via google from sciencedirect.com to explain it;

Now, the reason I bring this up is just because while I personally experience hypoarousal symptoms from previous trauma, the body CAN just respond to extreme distress like that without any prior trauma history. It's a sort of a, "if I play dead and numb myself, then I can't feel any more pain, and maybe the threat will leave me alone if it thinks I'm dead". And I think this is basically the same thing as an Omega Drop as described in this post, it's just not exclusive to a specific group of people. It's literally a remnant from early humans who had to deal with threats in the form of predators often, and playing dead was a way to protect oneself.

Anyway, re: Alpha Guard thing, while I can't speak from personal experience for various reasons, it sounds to me like an extreme fight response of sorts, triggered by an intense protective/territorial instinct- not necessarily any direct threat to the alpha themselves, from what I gathered. It makes sense to me that in omegaverse, Omega responses to extreme stress would lean more to the hypoarousal side while alpha stress responses would probably be on the hyperarousal side, though they're not exclusive. Anxiety is a hyperarousal-related emotion and anyone can feel it, for example, not just Alphas.

I also started wondering about the Betas, of course, because we don't ignore them here. I'd like to think that if Alphas tend to lean towards the more aggressive side of hyperarousal, and Omegas lean towards the shutdown/numb/self-protective responses, maybe for Betas (& any subdynamics!) it'd be more based on their individual character and role in an omegaverse story, especially if packs are involved, although I'd guess Flight and Freeze are common with Betas? Again, not that this is an exclusive thing or even uncommon for responses beyond what your dynamic is more predisposed to having. After all I'm just thinking in the terms of instincts and somewhat associating omegaverse to prey vs predator type animalistic behaviours, since that's what a lot of AUs draw inspiration from anyways.

I think the (observable) symptoms were already described well in the post. I think the weakening of the scent due to body stopping the release of pheromones especially is a big one, and that would likely be what triggers other dynamics the most- because even if the Omega still has their own scent, the pheromones are no longer being emitted and so all that's left is more like the scent that clings to belongings etc, rather than active pheromones- which is exactly what would happen when someone actually dies, at least in my personal canon. Pheromones are a part of the scent being so strong and attractive, but is separate from the scent itself in the sense that the body would still smell the same even without any pheromones present. And since emitting pheromones would be an autonomous nervous system-regulated process that responds to emotional states, if it stopped suddenly, the instinct-based parts of the brain would immediately associate it with death or deadly danger, and this would most likely immediately trigger especially Alphas, because their senses would interpret it as "omega injured/dying, must protect immediately".

Especially A/O mated Alphas would go practically completely feral if their omega experienced this, but even uust sharing a casual friendship bond or a pack bond would likely elicit this response from Alpha(s) familiar enough with the Omega, though not nearly to the same extent. It's probably also why Alphas could end up getting in fights between eachother at times due to an Omega dropping from stress- if they perceive the other is a threat, or if both were close to the omega and both think the other was scaring the omega. The reason Alphas must be approached with extreme caution isn't necessarily that they're trying to fight, but rather, they'll get incredibly agitated and aggressive if anyone approaches the Omega going through the drop, so it's important to be extremely unthreatening and calm when trying to approach.

On a side note, I think just as Omegas can experience the drop for any reason, Alphas could also experience a Guard response for other reasons than JUST an Omega dropping. I think a lot of it would be pack-based protectiveness, or protectiveness over their kids, friends, relatives, etc. I also think that some heavily traumatized Alphas would probably exhibit a guard-type response to more mundane things, like their material belongings, food, or even something they perceive as "theirs", for example a specific seat. You'd probably see this type of behaviour a LOT in orphaned Alpha kids and teens, especially, but it'd likely remain in some ways all the way to adulthood as well.

Lastly, just a personal addition, since I can somewhat give insight. "What does an Omega Drop, or in my case, "flop/faint response" feel like, and how would that look/be different if I was in an actual omegaverse setting?" Basically.

For me, when I get stressed out enough or a trauma-related trigger happens, and I start to go into hypoarousal state, I first notice it from the derealization. It starts to feel like I'm underwater in a way, because people's speech becomes sort of "dull" and feels partially silenced in my ears. Like I'm listening and looking at things from underwater- everything is sort of blurred together and dull, even if my senses work just fine. My brain just isn't processing any of it properly from being too overwhelmed. I start to act on "autopilot" and feel like I'm mostly just watching myself from afar. I don't actually usually faint or completely collapse in public, because I think my brain realizes that would attract even more unwanted attention, and just make things worse. So it usually happens slightly delayed after the initial trigger, when I get to a place where I can be mostly alone. And that feels like... honestly, it feels like nothing, because I quite literally black out so hard that I can't even remember it. I don't even realize time is passing. Coming out of it somewhat feels like waking up from a really long nap at a weird hour, except less "sleep-groggy" and infinitely more stressful and confusing because there's usually almost always some level of dissociative amnesia involved. It feels like I can't fully understand where I am, what happened, or how I even ended up unconscious, because I don't remember "falling asleep" or "going unconscious". I do know it's not actually me being asleep, because in some cases I've been able to maintain a position such as sitting down without completely slumping over, but there's also just absolutely no awareness of my surroundings, my own body, anything. I essentially am completely shut off from my own senses, and I doubt I'd feel much, if any pain, in that state. It's scary and unpleasant, and embarrassing to deal with when people have to witness it. I also know for a fact that my heart rate slows down a lot in this state, and I genuinely come across as fully unconscious and unresponsive to others.

As for, how would it be like in an omegaverse setting for my personal canon? I think there would still be some "warning signs" that a drop is inevitable, however brief they are. It could present as a shock state, if it's a brief and sudden threat similar to the one in the post- you know how babies and young kids, when they hurt themselves, sometimes go quiet in shock for a second before the ear-piercing screaming starts when they "process" the pain and their brain registers it as, "oh, I'm still alive"? Something like that. A moment of silent shock/distress where the brain takes a second to process it before deciding that the threat is bad, still there, and unlikely to go away, and that's when the drop happens, and the Omega goes into that self-imposed comatose state and shuts down- how fast depends on the situation, the person, and obviously, author's preference.

I also think that the type of stress/threat that builds up or just isn't extremely sudden, would result to the drop also sort of "building up" before happening, with similar shutting down and numbing of senses as I experience personally. I think it could also be a combination, for example, an unpredictable and likely ill-intentioned person the Omega feels is a threat to them has been causing experience pre-drop symptoms from the stress, and suddenly that person does something sudden, that normally would maybe startle someone at best, for example, slam a door or shout- and that triggers the shock-then-drop.

I think what would help an Omega to get out of a state like this would be getting them to a quiet and safe space, and lots of calming pheromones/scents. Maybe calm and comforting talking (about any topic, doesn't have to be reassurances only, just a familiar voice and a comforting & calming tone) from someone the Omega considers "safe", because the brain will process the tone and emotion and recognize a familiar person as safe before it'll ever understand what is being said. I also think adjusting light levels to a soft lighting (not dark, nor bright lights- a pleasant dim and warm-toned light would probably be best) could be good. In general a lot of the things you utilize as a way to calm someone who is overstimulated or overwhelmed could be adapted- weighted blankets for example serve the purpose of DPT (deep pressure therapy), and the same could be achieved by just holding the omega tightly, cuddling, or even just leaning on them (although this does require a safe person the omega fully trusts).

Medical aid or monitoring could also be required sometimes to help, and there could be a few abnormal cases where an omega drops so hard they practically end up comatose for a genuinely long period of time, sleeping beauty style. I think it would be commonly recommended by professionals that any Omega experiencing a drop sees a doctor, whether it be after they come out of it, or taken in while still unconscious in which case, if any Alphas were present and triggered to guard, they should be allowed to come along because otherwise it'll cause more distress to both- (Omega brain registers a guarding Alpha's scent as protective nearby even when unconscious so it would also distress the omega if suddenly that scent went away.) This could include extreme measures such as allowing an alpha into the operating room (of course in sterile scrubs etc) if the Omega was indeed physically injured and requires emergency surgery, for example. In fact, it'd probably cause an already injured Omega's vitals to tank if the only source of "protection" their brain perceives suddenly disappeared. It's not always possible, of course, so the Omegas can be fooled with chemicals that simulate the pheromones/scent of a guarding Alpha to keep them stable.

Also, not all Omegas HAVE an Alpha around when they drop, and it doesn't make the Omega's condition any MORE critical than if an Alpha had been present. I like to think of it as a sort of an emergency bond of sorts, one that forms only really with Alphas the Omega already knows and is comfortable enough around.

Alpha Guard could also be triggered later- say an Omega drops while around other omegas and betas only, and a familiar Alpha arrives a lot later when they're already starting to get the Omega to wake up and making them feel safe- just seeing the fact that the Omega they instinctually feel inclined to protect was threatened could trigger a guard response, though probably a bit milder in the sense that if familiar people are around and clearly already taking care of and helping the Omega, the Alpha would probably still become volatile, snappy and suspicious of anyone who approaches, but would probably generally be more okay with anyone who was already clearly helping.

Anyway I'm not entirely qualified to speak on the Alpha side of things to begin with, besides from an Omega's perspective and my own canons, but I'd love to hear the misce alphas weigh in as well.

Also sorry for being so long-winded and scattered. I'm a rambler when I start talking :'/

Hiya, just wondering, what is an omega drop and what causes it? It'd really help me out :)

Okay so. I first read about this in a fic on ao3 called Panta Rhei by @kashoku-sinpai. It’s a Yuuri On Ice fic and it’s written beautifully. I fucking love it. Like even if you aren’t a fan it’s amazing, you should give it a read.

This is what Kashoku mentions in chapter thirteen where they explain the omega drops.:

“From a writer’s perspective I totally forgot that you guys might not be exposed to the Drop/Guard aspects of ABO so here’s a little quick explanation. Omega drops have shown up in a few fics but I think it’s still pretty new!! It’s a self-induced coma-like state that an omega puts themselves in when extremely scared or hurt. It can be life threatening if left alone for too long and usually only a mate or someone very close to the omega can pull them out. Guarding is something I completely made up, but is an alpha trait of extreme protectiveness where they can become very volatile and must be approached with EXTREME caution.”

I love this explanation that they used and the whole Drop/Guard thing that they have created. I have read fic previously about the whole Drop/Guard thing, but it wasn’t explored as best as Kashoku had written it. 

To put it in terms that I know people will get better understand, it’s a form of becoming feral. Though it is still completely different from becoming feral. Where as an Omega would become more animalistic in terms of anger, attack, or even love when they have become feral, this kinda gives us a new state to work with.

The Omega’s body basically shuts down because they are scared or hurt. I’m assuming the reason for this is for an Omega to prevent further harm to themselves. Their body plays dead, is the best way I can describe it. This is done in extreme situations. I look at it as a way to distract or deter enemies and predators into further attacks. So the Omega’s body shuts down things that aren’t important to them, making their body less appeasing to what wants to hurt them. Things like making them have shallow breaths, scent less strong or appeasing, and maybe even nearly shuts down important organs. Just things to make sure they aren’t harmed further.

In the story Yuuri (Omega) gets hurt when he is pushed hard to the ground, he is also pregnant at the time so it makes him more scared and there he drops. Kashoku essentially describes him as catatonic. Though his mate Viktor (Alpha) and another Omega are able to help him get out of this state. Just to add, dropping is bad for pregnant Omegas. 

Guarding for an Alpha is them becoming feral in response to their Omega drops in order to protect them from the thing that is attacking them or scaring them. 

I hope this answers your question! Thank you @kashoku-sinpai for allowing me to mention their fic and explanation. 💕

[oldcrowshag]

i would be super interested in hearing more about michigan bc i live up north ^.^ thanks for making that post, i didn't grow up here so i hadn't heard that legend before!!

Up North

apologies in the delay.

"Up North" in itself is such a liminality. ask a michigander where in the state the landscape turns into "Up North" (bonus points if you get them to point out places on their map-hands) and you'll probably get a different answer from everyone. Up North becomes analogous for the old ways-- an escape from Life and the sales tax of living it, diving headfirst into the woods just like the perfect arc you practiced on the dock behind your grandparents' cottage every summer. it's an encounter with the Lakeshore, because when you're Up North you have your pick of small seas to commune with. it's also foggy dawn meadows, and barren lonely winters, and small gas stops on a rural corner, and bears, and cougars, and wolves if you're lucky, and yes the fucked up deer. Up North has a smell, and honestly it's probably just fresh air. you live in a land of conservatives, anon, but also of wonder. keep your wits and learn its ways!!

anyway, speaking of lakes. as I said you could honestly reside anywhere in half of the state, so I'm electing to go Way Up North until I hit the beastly Lake Superior (gichi-gami in ojibwe). when you speak on her, you cannot help but let a certain reverence enter your voice. she's the deepest lake on the continent and holds 10% of the world's fresh water, and we have a saying about her:

Lake Superior never gives up her dead.

she's cold. most plants and animals don't survive on the bottom. it's the land of sponges and darkness. it's too cold for bacteria, so when a soul ends up down there, it stays there. if you aren't aware of the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald (rip gordon lightfoot) give it a listen if you want a good sea ballad. something similar happened to the USS Kamloops, and her captain went down with the ship. he remains preserved in the wreck to this day and can only be visited by expert divers. Superior has claimed an estimated 10000 lives, and many of those bodies are never seen again. she acts as psychopomp, a void you can slip into on a warm summer day. the deep water has long been associated with death energy-- in my personal practice I link waters in helping to venerate my ancestors and commune with certain deities. how would you use Her water and Her stones? when you greet Her after dark, and face the roaring yawn of the dark surf with no opposite shore, what do you hear within yourself? do you acknowledge the death She wears on a proud brow while birthing life out on the windswept shores? what would you consecrate in Her waters? yourself?

high summer is coming for us, anon. I suggest you hit the lake if you can, any one will do 😊

(I intend on writing more about Michigan craft and lore when I have the time but lmk if anyone is interested in that in my asks because hearing encouragement is nice lol)

[fingernailathome]

DBD COMMUNITY ARE YOU SEEING THIS???

like??

not sure how this is gonna be done but it’ll def be super lore focused prob. idk i don’t think i could take it seriously as a horror movie with the typical dbd experience but who knows.

JUST REALLY HOPING TGEY ADD MY FAV CHARACTER 🤩🤩🤩😍😍😍 (but they won’t cuz they def can’t add licenses)

[leafith]

I have nothing to do so why not? F-H Remyandre OCs/Characters!

Enjoy!

He Is Finn (not from Alphabet Lore-). He Is Allison's ex, but they are still friends, so he Is kinda fine. He appears in the first book.

In your language, her name Is Red Butterfly. But, in italian, She Is Farfalla Rossa (Farfalla=Butterfly; Rossa=Red). She lives in another dimension called Chiglosk, where She takes care of killed children. She Is secretly the "killed Kids" goddess. 4 and 7 books.

/Fun fact! Her crown of flowers Is One of the most powerful things in the world./

She Is Fayrys! Selestia's big sister and twin of someone that you Will meet in this post!

Faultman. He Is the only deer in Every dimension I created (I am a deer too XD-oh, I forgot to say that the One Who Is talkin'here Is Leaf- Sorry:<). Anyway. He Is a soldier Who deeply cares about everyone, but he Is an idiot too. He contributes to lock all the different creatures in a prison center of his boss, Mr Harvest in the seventh book.

Genym Is his name. He Is kinda special. Do you see his face? Well, let me explain: when someone Is Born in a Place where there Is Fog, this happens. The person has got One Eye and black skin. 1-8 book I guess?

Gamy! In this screen, he Is finally feeling an emotion, because he was emotionless in the First book. When he Met Iricami, he started feeling ... Himself.

She Is Hannah. Her second name Is Enola. She Is the child which Ayrah takes care of. She Is Born with ADHD, so Ayrah Is like her only friend. Children do not like Hannah, even thought She Is a good kid. 2 and 7 book.

Last one, Holly! Her real name Is Asia, but She changed It in Holly because everyone in her past city (called Mega city) called her like this. She was an heroine. And She still Is. Her Power Is the speed. She Is Fayrys's twin and Selestia's big sister. 1-8 book?

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!1!!1!!1💜

[yayjaysposts]

Gami, the intergalactic idol

So I was invited to participate in a gallery where the main theme was Retrofuturism and this was what I tought would fit. I fell in love with the character that was supposed to be only a pretty face, so I ended up adopting her and making some lore that Imma share later skdjaslkd

[omegapheromone]

I think about my identity in the context of Omegaverse a lot- I've always struggled with it, but recently, I've had even more thoughts.

I've always (for as long as I've known what omegaverse is) identified as an omega.

But what tends to mess with my self-perception is that I've always been some flavour of demisexual at the very least, even without the sexual trauma that has just caused me to be even more avoidant and scared of intimacy.

Topics of sexuality/libido, sex, etc below, NSFW. Kink mentions, sexual trauma mentions, also mentions of past abusive partners etc. It's just a long ramble

And, sometimes I wonder, am I aromantic? Demiromantic? I don't think I am, but at the same time, while I experience crushes and strong emotions, every relationship I've been in has usually been shadowed by this sense of, it always seems like I'm far more detached and independent than the other person is.

Maybe it's a neurodivergency thing- but I'm usually perfectly happy without constant connection to a partner. I actually like to have plenty of my own alone time where I can be alone. I enjoy stuff like cuddling and affection, but I don't feel like I need constant displays of care/affection, especially verbal. I don't feel the need to be constantly messaging a partner if it's long distance. I struggle to say the word "love" (though this could probably be trauma as well). I find myself disinterested and passive fairly often, especially when a partner is trying to get something from me (whether it be affection, sex, etc- I feel like it becomes a chore when it's being demanded of me). I don't need constant hourly updates on their daily life, nor do I necessarily feel the need to check in on them myself, especially not as often as my past partners have insisted on checking in with me (at minimum once every 30-60minutes). To me it's usually just a given that they're probably fine, they've been fine before I was in their life so why would they not be, when I am in their life? That type of logic. I hope I don't sound callous or unfeeling, because it's not that- I genuinely do care very much, and feel very deeply for people, but maybe the way I express or show it is just... wrong, or dysfunctional, or not there, the way it should be.

And idk, I just often feel a little broken, in some way, as an omega. I'm quite passive and struggle to show emotion. I desire to have a romantic partner because I do know I at least experience crushes and aesthetic/visual attraction, and I enjoy many aspects of a relationship of that sort- the companionship, the emotional value, the easily available physical comfort of cuddles and such, and so on. But, at the same time, I feel broken. I can't tell if all my partners have actually just been super obsessive over me, or if I'm the problem and don't care enough, somehow.

My libido is also actually very low, and honestly, I prefer to take care of my own needs myself because sex with a partner usually has just felt like a chore where I need to look and sound sexy and make a partner feel nice. Honestly I hate to admit it even though they were abusive and it shouldn't bother me to say it, but like, 90% of my orgasms with my previous long-term partner irl were fake. A part of it was bc they would act all self-deprecating and pitiful and question if I even found them attractive or wanted to be with them at all and that's why I wasn't able to cum (no, idiot, I have a lot of sexual and sex-related trauma, that's why!!) But I think another part was just... it mostly felt like something I needed to act to "play my part" so that I could complete this "chore". My mind also usually wandered and I struggled to stay "in the mood" to begin with, usually I would be thinking about mundane things or daydreaming instead of actually being in the moment. To some extent, sensory deprivation play helps with that, but that's not always viable, especially when my partners have usually been ones with insanely high libidos (which I mean, should have been a red flag from the start since it did end up with me feeling coerced/coaxed into sex on multiple occasions, but I can't blame their toxic traits on it since it was ultimately me who didn't speak up and say no, and I was too cowardly to break up despite this obvious incompatibility (among others))

Iirc I've always somewhat identified with the demisexual/demiromantic labels, ever since I started discivering my own sexuality. But I always wonder how much of it is a reaction that's caused by trauma and distrust and me being neurodivergent, and how much is actually just my sexuality. I think I've never really been able to explore it because I've never actually felt safe, even with past partners who technically did 'care', and wanted me to feel safe, but would emotionally manipulate me if I struggled with it (again, "why don't you trust me, do you hate me, am I evil and horrible, why don't you feel safe with me? Am I not good enough??" Type bs, and I hate that it worked on me back then). Idk, now I'm getting to an age where most people my age have a long-term partner already and I'm kinds just used to being single and such, and even though I want romance, the whole idea of letting anyone close enough to get to know me is actually just so daunting that I wonder if it's better I just give up on dating entirely, especially since omegaverse puts a LOT of emphasis on mates and mating. I'm not a believer in fated pairs either, not since an abuser used a similar concept to manipulate me into staying with them multiple times

Honestly I can't remember where I was going with this. I think I just had thoughts and needed to express them somehow? Idk. But, anyway. Sorry for the random rant, especially if you read the whole thing- it's a lot of text and quite disjointed and disorganized, and I don't really even have a takeaway or conclusion or main point to any of this

[omegapheromone]

I say it more like misecanis, mis- being said somewhat close to "miss" (i.e. to long for, or to fail to hit a target) but ending with an e instead. I also drop the sc to just a soft s-sound, and the c in canis being a more harsh sound. Something like, mis-e-Canis? This might just be because I'm not a native english speaker though.

For any Miscecanis/Miscelupus/Omegaverse Enthiuasts, and/or Linguists!! I have a question!!!!!

Please include as much info on phonetics as possible in replies/rbs (ex: you pronounce the ‘misce’ prefix as ‘meesk’ instead ‘misk’)

[zrllosyn-art]

Some recent Kitsune AU doodles. The kija ones!

its kc’s au but i have honest to god run off with it

[starlightkun]

s.c.s. ; ayakashi ❧ jaehyun [three]

❧ word count: 10.1k

❧ warnings: cursing, the beginnings of the endless amount of tooth-rotting fluff in this

❧ extra info: heavily based off yet another otome game, ayakashi: romance reborn ; bc of this, all the lore used in here is inspired by/based on/taken from the lore of the game, not the actual lore of traditional ayakashi/yokai stories

❧ DISCLAIMER: some aspects of plot and character traits are directly lifted from the otome game ayakashi: romance reborn and utilized in the character equivalents in this story; the base lore, plot, and characters were heavily inspired by the game, but it has all been transformed into my own story. there are no spoilers for the game by reading this series

⤷ prologue*  ⤷ prev.  ⤷ next

*you need to read the prologue before reading any of the individual routes

The next morning you were at the shrine bright and early, covering the yawn that was escaping your mouth with a hand as you blinked away your tiredness. You hadn’t been having the most regular or healthy sleep cycle lately, especially since Taeyong woke you up twice last night because he kept bumping into furniture in his true form. You recommended that he stay in his cat form—he seemed much more graceful like that.

Sungchan was surprisingly up. Not that you knew much about him or his schedule, but you just kind of figured he’d be sleeping in later than seven in the morning. But he wasn’t; when you arrived, he was fixing up what looked like a little mechanical metal bird on the front porch. Meanwhile, you and Jungwoo were on the back porch, your friend pouring you a cup of tea.

“Green tea, to help wake you up,” he explained, holding the steaming cup out of you. “I am sorry if you had hoped for coffee.”

“Tea’s fine,” you reassured him, looking around the shrine. Mark hadn’t arrived yet. Admittedly, it was still ten till seven, he wasn’t late yet.

“Mark learned many things in his short time studying under me. Having respect for the concept of time was not one of those.”

You snickered before inquiring, “So how long did you train Mark, then?”

“About a year or so, but that was some time ago. And he had some training before that, from his father. However, I am afraid he passed before he could teach Mark much of anything about being an Onmyoji.”

“So you were his only ties to this world, then.”

“Not entirely, he had one of his True Ayakashi. Ten was of little help in his training, I believe he was not terribly thrilled about having a child as his Onmyoji. But emotionally… I am sure he was the only reason why Mark did not self-destruct as much as he could have then.”

“How much did he self-destruct?”

“Not now, Lady Onmyoji,” Jungwoo cut the conversation short, and you knew why. You could feel Mark’s presence. It would be very awkward for him to have walked in on you two discussing him like that.

Mark came running in soon after, out of breath as he bowed respectfully to the Tsukumo-gami, “I’m sorry I’m late, Master Jungwoo.”

“My brother distracted you, correct?”

“Ah, yes, I was talking to Sungchan. My bad.”

You checked your watch. Five till seven.

“I am not going to fault you for having friends, Mark. As long as you make sure to manage your time with them correctly.”

“Of course, thank you, Master Jungwoo.”

You decided to speak up, “Good morning, Mark.”

“Morning, Y/N!” He greeted you brightly, having caught his breath finally. “When did you get here? I hope I didn’t keep you two waiting long.”

“Oh, I only came five or ten minutes ago, don’t worry.”

“Once you have finished your tea, Lady Onmyoji, we will begin,” Jungwoo announced, pouring a cup for himself and Mark as well. “You finished memorizing the incantations, yes?”

“Yep! Took me most of the night, but I’ve finally got them all down.”

“Good. We will begin with casting charms over talismans today.”

Mark perked up at this, shoulders un-slouching and most traces of tiredness snapping from his body. You imagined that if he were a dog, his tail would be thumping on the ground excitedly.

The tea was quickly downed, and you were now sat at a table in one of the rooms in the shrine with Jungwoo and Mark, and it felt and looked like you were doing arts and crafts, not serious Divining. Apparently Jungwoo didn’t have just have spare talismans on hand, so you had to cut your own out, then poke holes into it with a large needle and thread red yarn through them, finally tying them with a tiny bow around a narrow part of the shape. It felt like you were in daycare again. You were tempted to draw faces on the little, vaguely human-shaped cut outs, just to add to the somewhat occult-ish aura of what you were doing. For funsies, you know. But you imagined that wasn’t part of the correct process. Might ruin the Onmyoji magic or whatever.

Once Jungwoo had declared that the three of you had made enough, you set down your scissors with a noticeable cramp in your hand. You’d probably made almost fifty yourself, you couldn’t imagine how you’d be using so many of them today. Even between both you and Mark.

As if he had read your mind, Jungwoo informed you, “Most will not be used today, Lady Onmyoji. The majority of these are to be your own personal stock. I recommend carrying a few with you for emergencies, once you have learned how to use them.”

“Oh, okay. Cool, thanks.”

“Talismans are very versatile when it comes to use,” he began explaining. “They can do many things if one knows how to manipulate them: give some rather deep and nasty wounds, slice through various materials, and become vessels for charms if a desired target is out of your reach. They are also sometimes necessary tools to complete certain rituals, such as the Onmyoji’s Oath. Some Onmyoji find them more favorable because they do not require as much of your energy to use. Mark, would you care to show an example of using it as a vessel for a charm?”

“Of course,” the Onmyoji nodded and stood, picking one up and settling it between his index and middle fingers.

He brought his hand in towards his chest to bend his elbow, then all at once extended it, sending the talisman flying across the room with a nearly deadly precision. It hit the old and sturdy lock on a trunk, and you heard a deep click! as the paper fell to the ground. The lid of the trunk popped open on its own. So Mark had unlocked and opened the trunk without touching it himself.

“That was so cool!” You exclaimed, watching Mark walk over to pick up the used talisman. It had a strange mark on it now, an ash grey depiction of a lion—Mark’s bond mark.

“Talismans cannot be reused, unfortunately,” he gestured to the design before letting you hold it.

Jungwoo cut back in, “Which is one of the reasons why many Onmyoji do not utilize them frequently, especially the more powerful ones who can do most anything without a single incantation or limitation to their powers. It requires a strategic mind to use them efficiently.”

“Oh, okay,” you nodded attentively, gracing your fingertips over the paper before setting it aside.

“For now, Lady Onmyoji, you will only need to focus on being able to activate and use them, not any sort of strategy yet.”

“Alright, I’m down.”

“Good, go ahead and take one.”

Picking one up from the pile—you could tell that you had made it because the cuts were less precise than the other two and it looked much more deformed—you held it, awaiting Jungwoo’s next instruction.

“Mark has been using talismans for many years, so he was able to do it wordlessly. You may need to recite the incantations and your intentions for some time. That is perfectly okay and—”

You’d been mindlessly playing with the talisman between your fingertips when you flicked a little too hard and it sailed away from you and hit the other stack of talismans. They all immediately caught fire, and your eyes widened as you watched the whole thing blaze.

“Shit! I’m sorry!” You apologized, frantically looking around for something to put the fire out with. But before you could secure anything to smother it with, the flames died. They had incinerated all of the paper, burned through their fuel, leaving behind only ash on the stone table.

You were still trying to apologize profusely to Mark and Jungwoo—after all, you had just wasted over an hour of work—as they both stared between the ash and you with great surprise.

“That was incredible, Lady Onmyoji,” Jungwoo praised you, reassuring smile across his lips as he patted your head. “Absolutely wonderful.”

“Uh, I just burned all of our hard work,” you pointed out sheepishly.

“Yes, we will have to make more,” he agreed, still with a proud grin on his lips. “But not only were you able to utilize the talisman as a vessel wordlessly, you seem to have a natural proclivity for fire manipulation. A rare specialty for Onmyoji, may I add. Many cannot even do the simplest of any kind of elemental manipulation in their entire lives, much less fire.”

Remembering what Mark had said about his own lack of power stemming from his scarcity of his True Ayakashi, you ducked your head to peek over at him. He wasn’t looking at you, eyes narrowed as he was apparently sending a glare at the trunk in the corner. You assumed that glare was actually meant for you, however.

“Well, we should get started on making the new talismans, right?” You desperately tried to change the subject to bring some kind of interpersonal peace back to the room.

“Yes, we should,” Jungwoo agreed, and at that, Mark took his seat back on the ground and picked up his scissors once more.

When the sun hung high and proud in the sky, Jungwoo declared the three of you should take a lunch break. You had replaced all of the talismans and began trying to correctly utilize them rather than your accidental arson from earlier. Then your stomach had growled obscenely loud, loud enough for the Tsukumo-gami to call for the break. It was right when Sungchan had returned from the city—which you could feel just as easily as a sixth sense at this point without much focus—and Mark seemed grateful for the break, rushing out front to meet the taller of the two brothers once he had been dismissed.

Sugchan had returned with food for everyone, something you were thankful for. He handed you a familiar emoji Tupperware and informed you, “Johnny said you would bring them back, Onmyoji.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, I can do that,” you accepted the food, eagerly digging in.

Jungwoo daintily ate his own food, seated beside you under a tree to the side of the shrine. A gentle breeze cooled your skin from the warm rays of the sun, and you closed your eyes for just a moment. Mark and Sungchan were seated some ways away, closer to the front of the building as the Tsukumo-gami showed the Onmyoji the mechanical bird you had spotted him working on earlier. It pecked at the handkerchief that had been placed under it for a moment before abruptly stopping, one of the wings flying off. Sungchan picked it up and took out a small screwdriver to reattach it with great care.

“Hey,” you softly got Jungwoo’s attention, wanting to address something that had been running through the back of your mind since the day before.

Jungwoo turned to you attentively, “What is it, Lady Onmyoji?”

“Should I call you Master Jungwoo? Like Mark does?”

“No, we are friends, I would prefer for you to speak with me as such. You may just call me Jungwoo,” he reassured you.

“So you and Mark aren’t friends, then?” You asked with a thoughtful frown on your lips and your head tilted slightly.

“Mark is my pupil, always has been,” he explained as he wistfully watched his brother and the Onmyoji converse. It had been the most you’d ever seen Sungchan emote or speak, honestly. “He and Sungchan are friends, they immediately hit it off as soon as Mark had stumbled in here. Mark and I on the other hand… there has always been a distance that has remained with my being his teacher, of course.”

“Then what about me? I’m your pupil now.”

“We were friends first, Lady Onmyoji. And you are my Onmyoji; if we had met when I was your age, over a thousand years ago, I would have called you Master instead. Times have changed, and I with them, so I believe we can address each other more simply.”

You were able to chuckle somewhat as you joked, “I don’t think you’ve changed that much with them, Jungwoo.”

It was his turn to the thoughtfully confused, “What do you mean?”

“You don’t even have a landline…”

“A… what?”

“That’s exactly my point.”

“I see.”

“One of these days, you’ll come down from your hermit tower into the city and see all the wonderful things us humans have made, and you’ll think we’re all Diviners or something,” you declared, feeling a fond nostalgia for an experience you’d never had.

“I look forward to that day then, Lady Onmyoji.”

“Me too, Jungwoo. I just hope I’ll be there for it. No pressure or anything, but I think the look on your face will be priceless.”

Jungwoo smiled genuinely over at you, “I understand and appreciate your sentiment.”

“Good.”

You had to forcibly end the day at your discretion to give yourself enough time to go home and get ready for your date that night. Giving Jungwoo your thanks and Sungchan your farewells, you descended down the mountain with Mark, your leftover talismans in both your bag and back pocket. Never knew when you’d have to reach for one quickly.

“I’m surprised you cut the training short,” Mark admitted as you navigated the trails together.

“Oh, I have a thing tonight that I need to get ready for.”

“No, I meant I’m surprised that you were the one who cut the training short. I would have never even dreamt of doing something like that.”

“What? Why not?”

At your questions, Mark turned silent, looking down at his feet again. Finally, you addressed what had been gnawing at your mind, despite Jungwoo’s explanation during lunch.

“Jungwoo treats me differently than he treats you, doesn’t he?”

“Yes,” Mark agreed bitterly, which was understandable.

“I don’t know what to say, Mark,” you admitted quietly.

“I know why.”

“What? You do?”

“You’re more powerful than me—”

“Mark—”

“No, it’s fine, Y/N, I’m not pissed about it. Okay, well maybe a little, but I’ll get over it. It’s just an objective fact, one that I need to accept. It’s nothing that you need to apologize for either, so don’t. You just are… more powerful than me. A better Onmyoji than me.”

“Well, this was only my first day of actual training and—”

“You’ll only get more powerful. Not only were you able to banish Wraiths without an incantation, but you were able to do elemental manipulation, Y/N. That’s big-time stuff.”

“It was an accident!”

“But you still did it!”

“That’s not even why Jungwoo treats us differently, Mark,” you circled back to the original topic, not liking where the conversation was going. “It’s because we’re different people to him.”

“What?” He asked incredulously.

“He met you when you were young, right?”

“I was fourteen, yes.”

“You were his young pupil then, and that’s how he sees you now. I’m an adult who he met first as a friend. So that’s who I still am in his eyes, okay? It has nothing to do with our powers as Onmyoji.”

“So I should just… make him see that I’m not a little boy he’s teaching anymore.”

“Yeah,” you encouraged him, watching his expression turn from bitter to thoughtful.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Don’t expect any kind of change immediately, though,” you warned with amusement in your tone. “He is a thousand years old; I can imagine that change does not come easily to him.”

“No, it definitely doesn’t,” Mark agreed with a chuckle.

The knock that came at your door that evening startled you, mostly because you’d had adrenaline pumping through your veins for the past fifteen minutes or so— ever since Jaehyun texted you that he was on his way.

Turning to the cat that had been laid next to you on the couch, you pat his head gently, ��Bye, love. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Taeyong mrowed in response, just in case Jaehyun could hear him. Smiling down at him appreciatively first, you then rushed to the front door to open it. Jaehyun was there on the other side, beaming at you from above a small bouquet of white roses—half a dozen. He was dressed comfortably but not necessarily unkempt in his pair of khaki pants, nice sneakers, and large, comfy-looking hoodie.

“Hey, Y/N,” he greeted you smoothly, opening his arms for you to hug him. You did, albeit with your blood still roaring in your ears.

Accepting the roses shyly, you motioned him in for a moment, “Hey. I’ll put these in some water.”

He closed the door behind him as he watched you open your kitchen cabinets and get on your tiptoes to reach for your singular vase. It had been something your mom had sent with you to your new apartment, despite you telling her you didn’t really have flowers around ever. Too expensive to get regularly. She had argued that it’d be good to have, just in case. Looks like she was right.

Even as you strained to reach, the vase was just barely millimeters from your fingertips.

“Here, I’ll—” Jaehyun moved to join you in the kitchen, presumably to get it for you with his superior height, but instead you thrusted the flowers back out to him.

“I’ve got this.”

With an eyebrow raised, he took the roses and observed as you hopped up to kneel on your counter, easily acquiring the vase this time. You closed the cabinet and turned around, sitting down before sliding off your counter and over to your sink to fill it up.

Still a little antsy with nerves, you gestured to his clothes, “Should I bring a jacket?”

You’d been wearing a pair of long pants as well, but it was your short sleeves that worried you.

“Nah, you won’t need one,” he reassured you nonchalantly, and you nodded, taking his word for it.

Once the vase was full enough, you took the roses back and deposited them into the water. They made a quiet plop! sound as the stems broke the surface. Looking back up from the task to Jaehyun, you felt your chest constrict for a moment as you were caught off-guard once again by how handsome he was.

He asked, “Ready to go?”

“Yep, yep,” you nodded, following behind him through your apartment. By the front door, you gave a final goodbye to Taeyong, “Bye, bud! See you when I get home!”

“Bye Tama!” Jaehyun cheerfully waved to him as well, making you giggle at how Taeyong narrowed his eyes at his cat name.

You turned to make sure to lock your door behind you, only to realize that someone was already in the process of doing so. Struggling against the opposing force for an awkward amount of time, you subtly kicked the bottom of the door with your foot, then groaned to both Jaehyun on your side and Taeyong on the other side, “Stupid door! Never does what I want it to!”

“Maybe you should have your landlord take a look at that.”

“Yeah, maybe I should,” you agreed facetiously as Taeyong finally seemed to understand what was happening and gave up, allowing you to smoothly lock the door. “There we go! Ready!”

Jaehyun hadn’t told you any details for this date other than the day and time, so you had no clue where exactly you were going until the two of you reached the base of the mountain. You brushed it off, it was a big mountain, there was no way you’d be going anywhere near the shrine. Not to mention it had the cloaking charm on it, the odds of you finding it accidentally were next to none.

He split off from the main trailhead at a less-worn path, your heart threatening to leap to your throat. There was still two-thirds of the mountain in this direction, it would be fine.

Then he took yet another familiar turn, and another after that. You weren’t sure Jaehyun knew exactly where he was going, probably just looking for a clearing so you two could actually see the night sky. But nevertheless, he was still getting nail-bitingly close to the location of the shrine.

You kept your position beside him, stomach dropping as he took yet another random turn that brought you fifty feet from the shrine.

“Do you even know where we’re going, Jae?” You went to tease him lightly, trying to cover up your anxiety over the possibility of him stumbling upon your Tsukumo-gami friends.

“I know exactly where we’re going,” he retorted fondly. “Somewhere we can see the stars.”

“I think there might have been a place like five minutes back.”

“No, the trees are thinning now, you see?”

Unfortunately, he was right. But still, you couldn’t let him find the shrine. Not now, not tonight.

The two of you had kept trekking through the trees while you spoke, and you suddenly grabbed his arm, spinning him around to look at you. He was literally a hair’s width away from the edge of the cloaking charm. A single movement backwards and the shrine would become fully visible to him.

“What’s up, Y/N?” He tilted his head curiously to ask you.

“Uhm,” you gulped, very clearly sensing Jungwoo and Sungchan just on the other side of the border. And surely, they could sense you too. You couldn’t risk one of them coming out to see you. Shifting your eyes around, you pointed to your right, away from the shrine, “What about that way?”

Jaehyun shrugged, “Looks promising.”

Holding in your sigh of relief, you started to turn in that direction. Unfortunately, the two of you had moved at the same time and bumped into each other, falling directly through the cloaking charm. You let out a rather embarrassing yelp as you fell half on top of Jaehyun and half on the ground.

“Woah, Y/N, are you okay?” He asked from below you.

But you couldn’t focus on your own well-being, or your current position atop your date, or anything except for the fact that you had crossed through the cloaking charm. Scrambling to your feet, you held onto a desperate hope that maybe you could yank him away before he turned around and saw it. Until he looked around to gain his bearings once more.

“Where’d that come from?” He stared directly at the shrine.

“Uh, I don’t know,” you blurted out. “I saw some kind of big shadow through the trees, I think this was it.”

“Huh,” he looked at it with intrigue before turning to you conspiratorially. “What do you say we put stargazing on hold and go adventuring instead?”

Oh hell no. As soon as he stepped foot in the shrine, he would realize it was populated. There was a reason Jungwoo stayed up here, far away from the city and all the people there. You didn’t know exactly why, but you knew you wanted to respect that.

Swallowing your pride of your reputation as Occasionally a Bad Bitch, you clutched onto his arm and squeaked out loudly, “No, Jaehyun, I don’t think we should stay here.”

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun looked down at you with concern.

Really leaning into it, you let your voice crack as if you were about to cry, still loudly declaring, “This place looks abandoned, it’s kind of scary! What if it’s haunted? Please, let’s go somewhere else!”

“Okay,” he immediately moved to hug you to his chest, rubbing a soothing hand up and down your back. “I’m sorry, we’ll go stargaze.”

Maybe sacrificing your reputation wasn’t so bad.

Letting go of you, he took your hand in his to guide you back away from the shrine. You took one last look over your shoulder, spotting a candle flickering in one of the windows. Your shouting must have startled one of the inhabitants. But you couldn’t dwell on it, taking off through the forest with Jaehyun.

Finally, you found a suitable place to stargaze and stopped, watching Jaehyun put out the blanket that had been in the pack on his back. You laid down on it, lacing your hands behind your head as a cushion. Immediately, you were amazed by the night sky. You weren’t too far from the city, so there wasn’t an incredible amount of stars, but it was definitely more than you could see from your apartment.

Jaehyun laid beside you, draping a blanket over your legs. You let out a deep sigh, finally feeling relaxed again. But just a few minutes later, the coolness of the nighttime mountain air, ground, and breeze got to you, and you found yourself borderline shivering.

“Jae, I’m cold,” you grumbled, tucking your chilly fingers under your back.

“Well come here,” he opened up his arms for you, and you immediately scooted closer into them, letting him pull you to his chest. He rubbed a hand up and down your arm, tucking you under his chin and pulling the blanket tighter around the two of you, “Warm?”

“Yeah…” you mumbled, heat now rushing to your cheeks instead.

He hummed contentedly, and you prayed that he couldn’t see your bashful features in the dim lighting.

“You lied to me on purpose, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t lie; I said you wouldn’t need a jacket. And you don’t, you’ve got me.”

“Ah, technicalities.”

Jaehyun snickered, squeezing you just a little tighter, and you hoped he couldn’t feel how fast your heart was beating against him.

“So, any constellations to point out to me?” He asked.

“Nope,” you answered truthfully.

“You’re the one who wanted to go on a stargazing date.”

“Yeah, and? Doesn’t mean I know anything about them, I just think they’re cool.”

He chuckled, the sound vibrating against you, “I shouldn’t have expected anything else.”

Your next witty retort had just formed on your lips when your throat seized up. You coughed awkwardly through it, more focused on what had stopped you. A Wraith. You could sense it, nearby.

“Woah, Y/N, you good?” Jaehyun gently patted your back. “Want some water?”

“Fine, fine, I don’t know what that was,” you absentmindedly answered, actually paying attention to the Wraith sensation. It was getting closer.

Jumping up to your feet, you grabbed your phone from your pocket, plausible story already forming in your mind, “I’m getting a call, sorry. I’ll be right back.”

And you took off into the trees, beelining for the Wraith. No way were you about to let this Wraith ruin your date. Or, at least, you weren’t going to let it attack your date. You seemed to be doing pretty well ruining the date for yourself without any help from a Wraith. You couldn’t see much in the dark, but it wasn’t too far away, maybe a five or six second jog. Definitely still within a reasonable earshot of Jaehyun. Thankfully, you had just learned how to banish Wraiths with no incantation that day.

The Wraith was alone, just kind of hovering there. But oddly enough, now that you were closer to it, you sense something else. Something mixed in with the Wraith sensation. Something oddly familiar. It made no move to attack you, seemingly looking right into your soul. And you were looking right back, lost in the red orbs.

“Mark?” You blurted out, head tilted to the side and brow furrowed.

Then all at once the Wraith was gone.

You were stood there frozen until you heard Jaehyun’s voice just a second later.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah, over here,” you turned back towards him to call out.

Jaehyun emerged through the trees, odd look on his face, “Did I hear you say Mark?”

“He uh—he called me, I wasn’t expecting it. Told him not to bother me any more tonight.”

“Okay, well you didn’t have to run out here to tell him off. I would’ve enjoyed hearing that back at the blanket,” he joked half-heartedly.

“I’ll remember that for next time, then,” you tried to quip back.

“Next time…”

“There’s going to be a next time, right?” You asked nervously, picking at your fingernails. “Despite the… everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been acting all, you know, weird. Unless you think this is my perfectly normal behavior, then I need to do some serious self-reflection.”

Jaehyun shook his head, “No, you have been a bit off tonight. I figured you just thought this was too weird, us going on a date.”

“No, no!” You immediately went to reassure him, moving towards him to grab his hand and squeeze it. “I’m just… nervous, okay?”

“Alright,” he grinned brightly, lacing his fingers with yours to start leading the way back.

Sitting back on the blanket with Jaehyun, you prayed for no more distractions or unfortunate events that you’d have to cover for. You just wanted a nice, normal date. Jaehyun sat down first, and you immediately snuggled up against his side, for warmth, and to prove to yourself that you could get over your own nerves. Your “SCS” wasn’t going to get the better of you. This was going to be a nice date, even if it killed you. Which, hopefully it wouldn’t, because you definitely wanted to go on a second date. And third.

He wrapped his arms back around you, pulling you closer until you were half-sitting on his lap, which you didn’t mind. And you two talked. You chatted about this and that, school and work, family and friends. He told you about a new book he had been reading, and you told him about the crime drama you had been watching. When he brought up the fact that he had barely finished grading the quizzes for his Composition I class before he left to pick you up, you suddenly remembered that he was a TA. Specifically, your TA.

You sat up a little straighter to question, “Is this even allowed? Can you date a student in a class that you’re a TA for?”

Jaehyun exhaled before answering honestly, “It’s… definitely frowned upon. But as long as I don’t show any bias towards you academically, then they can’t do anything about it.”

“So you’re not going to give me all the answers for the tests? Well, never mind then,” you said jokingly, placing your hands down on the blanket as if you were going to push yourself up and out of his arms.

But he just tightened his hold on you and pulled you back to his chest, humming teasingly, “Too late to back out now.”

“Aw, shucks. Guess I’ll just date you for you, then,” you sighed, leaning against him happily. After a moment, you slyly asked, “First date and it’s too late?”

“Y/N,” he sighed out your name, clasping a hand over your cheek to lift your head up and press your foreheads together. “I have been trying to figure out how to ask you out for years. So for me, at least, it’s too late.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“Nope.”

“How many years, exactly?”

“Honestly, since high school,” he chuckled awkwardly, his breath fanning over your face as his eyes were downcast, looking to your laps. And that was the first time that whole night that you could tell that he wasn’t this cool, suave guy who had this whole thing planned out to woo you. He was just as nervous as you were, just better at hiding it.

You breathed out, “Woah.”

“Not that I’ve been creepily pining after you since high school,” he rushed to explain his previous confession. “But I’ve just always kind of liked you, and… the opportunity never presented itself, I guess? I’m not explaining this very well, am I?”

“I think I get what you’re trying to say,” you reassured him, placing your own hand over his on your cheek.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” you nodded slightly, your forehead pushing against his for a moment before you leaned forward, slotting your lips with his.

Jaehyun let out a small noise of surprise, one that was muffled against your mouth, before he relaxed into it, kissing you back softly.

The next morning you woke up to a paw in your face, and you swatted it away with a grumble. Rolling over, you buried your face in your pillow. You were this close to falling back asleep when this time a human hand shook your shoulder.

“What, Taeyong?” You pulled your face back out of the pillow to spit out.

“There’s someone at the door,” he informed you. “Two someones. Jaemin and Yuta, specifically.”

You groaned, “Oh, I forgot we had brunch plans today, great.”

Grabbing your phone from the nightstand, you saw several missed calls and texts, then the screen was overtaken by a new incoming call. Jaemin.

You picked it up, “Morning, NaNa.”

“Good morning, Y/N!” He chirped back. “Glad to hear you’re not dead. Can you let us in?”

“Yeah, give me a second.”

Hanging back up, you turned to Taeyong, “Cat, please.”

He obliged before slinking out of your bedroom and down the short hallway with you. You unlocked your door, opening it up for your friends to come in. Jaemin hastily threw his arms around your neck, pushing you back into your apartment. Yuta closed the door behind the two of you, eyes already locked on Taeyong on the ground. The Nekomata bristled momentarily, and you could imagine him warning Yuta not to try anything while he had to stay in his cat form.

“Hey, guys,” you yawned, pulling back from Jaemin. “Let me go get changed. Please don’t harass my cat.”

“No promises!” Jaemin replied, making Taeyong’s hackles go up even more.

You retreated into your bedroom, quickly finding an appropriate outfit. Next step was to do something with your hair, then brush your teeth and meet your friends back in your living room. Jaemin was kneeling on your couch, leaning over the back, seemingly trying to grab something behind there.

“Leave Tama alone!” You chastised him, immediately knowing what he was reaching for.

“He loves me!” Jaemin argued back.

Before you could deal with him, Yuta had gone over to the couch, grabbing him by his shirt and yanking him back from the couch, “Seriously, leave him alone, Jaemin.”

“I just want to love on him!”

“He doesn’t want you to love on him.”

Taeyong padded out from behind the couch to run over to you, and you crouched down to stroke his head reassuringly.

“Sorry, NaNa,” you shrugged to your friend, stroking from Taeyong’s nose to his tail before moving to stand up. “Alright, let’s go.”

“So… did you sleep through your alarm?” Yuta asked as he led the way out of your apartment.

“I didn’t set one,” you answered, locking the door behind you. “I’m usually up by now normally; I didn’t think I had to set one.”

“Oh, and what could have made you so tired?”

You glared at him knowingly, “We went stargazing last night, the stars are out pretty late.”

“You two didn’t do anything else that could have made you so tired?”

“Nope.”

“So you two only admitted your feelings to each other because you nearly fucked, then on your first date you didn’t fuck?”

“Good summarizing, Yuta. A-plus on comprehension and paraphrasing skills.”

Jaemin snickered from your other side as you three emerged onto the sidewalks. He leaned behind you to push on Yuta’s shoulder, “Leave her alone, Yuta. They’re taking it at their own pace.”

“I’m not saying there’s a right or wrong way, just clarifying,” he held up his hands defensively.

“Anyway, start over from the beginning, Y/N!”

And so you described the date from start to finish to your two friends, leaving out or modifying certain details—for your human friend’s sake, later you’d probably tell the Kitsune the real story; he’d definitely get a kick out of it. When you got to the part about your “phone call” from Mark, you found your mind fixating on the real part of that. You’d sensed Mark underneath the Wraith sensation for some reason. There had to be a good explanation. Maybe he had just been visiting Jungwoo or Sungchan and because the shrine was so close and your nerves were so frazzled, you’d gotten the signals mixed up. That made sense.

Monday morning came upon you rather quickly, but you couldn’t bring yourself to even grumble at waking up so early. You were seeing Jaehyun again today.

You eagerly went through the motions of your morning routine at perhaps a record pace, giving Taeyong a rather rushed goodbye at the front door before you took off for your school. Unsurprisingly, due to your haste, you were the first person to arrive to the quad, and you couldn’t stop yourself from bouncing on your heels as you waited for the others to arrive. Well, more like you couldn’t stop yourself from bouncing on your heels as you waited for Jaehyun to arrive. You didn’t have your next date planned yet, but you were excited for it, and excited that your strange behavior hadn’t scared him away at your last one.

Yuta was the first to get there after you, and he immediately laid down on the concrete planter in front of you. He let out a yawn, “I’ll never get used to 8 a.m. classes, I swear. I have no clue how we did this every day in high school; I can barely do it twice a week.”

“You were young and had abundant energy back then, Yuta,” you teased.

“Oh, right, I forgot that I was old and decrepit now.”

You clicked your tongue, “I don’t how you could forget, those old bones must be so difficult to get out of bed with every morning.”

“If my creaky joints weren’t so fragile, I’d get up and would smack you upside the head.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“And why wouldn’t I?”

You poked your cheeks with your fingers and tweaked them, an obnoxiously bright grin on your lips, “Because I’m just too damn cute!”

“She’s right on that,” a voice was behind you, and you spun around to see Jaehyun, immediately dropping your hands from your face to greet him.

“Oh, hey Jae!”

“Hey, Y/N,” he pecked your forehead, bringing a slight warmth to your skin.

Yuta groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes, “Great, now I’m third-wheeling until Jaemin gets here.”

You and Jaehyun exchanged a look before you decided to change the subject, “How was work yesterday, Jae?”

“On my lunch break I was reading and spilled my orange soda all over my book.”

“Oh, that’s so sad.”

“If you weren’t a peak physical specimen who has been boxing since middle school, I’d call you a fucking nerd,” Yuta snorted, rolling onto his side to squint his eyes back open at you two.

Jaehyun laughed and brought a hand up to muss up his hair, a habit you’d picked up on over the years that was now simultaneously endearing and infuriating as you had to the urge to fix the messy hair. And so you did, rising up on your toes to be able to accurately brush the stray strands back into place with concentration. Jaehyun had frozen to let you do so, watching you with something that could only be called adoration.

“Great to see that you two have already moved onto acting like a married couple.”

Ah, Jaemin had arrived.

You looked over to your other side to see your friend approaching, knowing smirk on his face as he observed you and Jaehyun. The newcomer went to sit down beside Yuta, and the Kitsune immediately grabbed his hand.

“Oh, thank god you’re here, Jaemin!” He bemoaned dramatically. “I was going to die sitting here as the only third wheel! At least now we can third wheel together.”

Dropping back onto flat feet, now satisfied with the state of Jaehyun’s hair, you rolled your eyes, “You are absolutely ridiculous, Nakamoto Yuta.”

“As I’ve been telling him for years,” Jaehyun agreed with you.

Jaemin patted Yuta’s hair, “I’m so sorry to hear your opinion on third wheeling Yuta, but I actually wanted to hang out with all of us together again sometime this week.”

“I think I’ll be the most available Friday after my class,” you offered up.

“I could do dinner on Friday,” Jaehyun added.

“What about you, Yuta?” Jaemin prompted the Kitsune. “Oh, and is Taeyong still in town? He can come too!”

Yuta’s eyes flashed over to you deviously, and you could easily guess what he was about to say.

“Yes, my friend Taeyong is still in town. We would love to get dinner with you guys Friday!” He gushed, flicking his devilish grin between you and Jaehyun next. “You can introduce him to Jaehyun, Y/N!”

“Who’s Taeyong?” Jaehyun piped up curiously.

“My best friend from out of town, he’s here visiting for a bit. Y/N, Jaemin, and him got dinner one night when I was busy.”

Yuta’s escalation from friend to best friend made you stifle an incredulous chuckle. Oh, Taeyong is going to kill him.

“Yeah, he’s a cool guy!” Jaemin piped up. “But a bit forgetful, right?”

“Definitely.”

Jaemin was quick to explain to Jaehyun, “He forgot his wallet when we got dinner and Y/N had to pay for him.”

“Anyway, where should we go Friday?” You changed the topic.

Jaehyun whispered to you, “I know what Jaemin’s going to suggest…”

“Lenticular?” Jaemin’s voice pitched up hopefully as soon as the TA had finished his previous words, making you giggle.

“I’m down, we’ve just got to make sure we actually bring money this time,” you said. “Don’t want an earful from Renjun.”

“I’ll see if I can drag Jeno out again too!”

“Oh, yay, the more the merrier,” you grimaced. The more of your Ayakashi friends that were involved, the higher the risk you ran of Taeyong’s actual role being revealed. You’d just have to send a blanket text in the group chat. Oh, you’d also have to talk to Mark and send a note to Jungwoo to see if you could move your training session up by an hour or so.

Jaehyun glanced down at his watch in that moment, then tapped your elbow to get your attention, “We should head to class.”

Nodding, you said goodbye to your friends, “See you guys later!”

Walking away with Jaehyun, you weren’t sure if you should hold his hand or not. Sure, you wanted to, but you’d only gone on one date. Like Jaemin had said in his apartment that night after your study session, you were pretty inexperienced with relationships. Not to mention that you had a propensity to overthink things—both big and small, both familiar and unfamiliar to you.

Besides, you didn’t really want your classmates or professor knowing so early into your relationship—which it might not even be, you’d only gone on one date. You weren’t sure you wanted them to ever know, actually, if this went any further. It was almost midterms time, just a few more months and then you’d most likely never see your professor or most of your classmates for the rest of your life. Perfect.

“We’re getting our hint sheet for the midterm today, right?” You asked Jaehyun, wracking through your brain to remember the syllabus off the top of your head.

“Yeah,” he confirmed. “My Comp I students are too.”

“How do you like teaching, by the way?”

“I like it.”

“Enough that you definitely want to do it forever?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he nodded resolutely, a pleased smile coming to his face.

“Good,” you bumped his shoulder with yours.

Tuesday afternoon found you back at the shrine with Mark and Jungwoo, finishing out your Onmyoji training for the day. You were sure Jungwoo would have wanted to continue, but you unfortunately had several midterm review sheets to work on, so you made sure the session ended earlier than usual.

Slinging your backpack over your shoulder, you bounded over towards the entrance to the shrine, waiting up for Mark for the two of you to make the trek back down together like you usually did.

“Oh, you can go ahead, Y/N,” he dismissed you. “I’m staying to hang out with Sungchan.”

“Alright, have fun!” You waved goodbye to the three of them before taking off down the mountain.

You pulled out your phone to call Jaehyun, putting the device next to your ear as you listened to it ring. Once, twice, three, four times before he picked up.

“Hey,” his voice carried through your speakers as you watched your step going down the unused portion of trail that you were still on.

“Hey, Jae!” You greeted him brightly. “Can I come study at the shop again today? I’ll buy you dinner.”

“Sure, yeah,” he agreed. “The pile is always open for you.”

“Cool, thanks. I’ll be there in fifteen or twenty.”

“See you then.”

“See you.”

The raspberry door greeted you twenty-five minutes later, and you were surprised to see that there were customers in the shop. A couple, two guys holding hands as one flipped through albums and the other looked on, entirely disinterested in the music but definitely interested in his boyfriend. Jaehyun looked up from his book to you with a smile, watching as you walked around the counter.

“Hey, Jae,” you returned the smile, pecking his cheek in passing.

“I was about to start getting worried, Y/N,” he said teasingly, and looped an arm around your waist to pull you back towards him.

“Hit all the crosswalks at the wrong time.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

“Anyway, I’m going to try to outline my first essay for World Lit, then I was planning on heading down to Lenticular to get some takeout; I have some containers to return to Johnny anyway.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

He still hadn’t let go of you, and you looked down at him with an eyebrow raised. Jaehyun simply smiled up at you with that adorable dimpled smile and you found your heart racing even faster with every passing moment, not knowing what exactly he wanted from you.

After another few moments of silence, you finally asked, “Yes?”

He glanced over at the customers before gesturing for you to get closer. You obliged, bending down to rest your elbows on the counter and lean closer to him. He conspiratorially lowered his voice to ask, “Is this our second date, then?”

“You working and me studying? How romantic,” you snorted sarcastically. “But sure, Jae, we can call it our second date.”

“Cool.”

“Can I go study now?”

“One more thing.”

“Yes?”

In a move that shouldn’t have surprised you, he shot forward to lock his lips with yours. A short and sweet kiss that ended almost as soon as you knew it was happening, Jaehyun returning to his book as if nothing had happened.

Not having a good comeback to that, you simply dropped your bag to the ground beside the nest—Johnny’s emoji tupperwares rattling inside—then dropped yourself onto the nest and took out your World Literature midterm hints and got to work.

The couple checked out sometime later, but you barely registered it as you fervently flipped through your textbook to find that one specific quote you knew would be good for your point before scrawling it down.

After finally finishing your outline, you checked the time. Right around a good time to go get dinner. Your stomach growled. Okay, perfect time to go get dinner.

On your feet, you cracked your back once more, then slung your half-empty bag over your shoulder. You left all of your school stuff out to make it easier to get back into the groove after your dinner break. Walking all the way around the counter, you mischievously flicked Jaehyun’s book closed. His thumb was on the page, meaning he didn’t actually lose his spot, but he still looked up from it with slight annoyance.

“I’m heading to Lenticular now. Be back soon,” you informed him.

“Alright,” he stood up from his stool to lean forward and peck your forehead. “Be safe.”

Stepping back from the counter with wide eyes, you choked out, “Will do.”

At Lenticular, you had barely set foot in the café when Renjun spotted you, gesturing for you to wait as he attended to a table. You took the time to bring the empty containers out from your bag. Holding them out to him as he came back to the host’s stand, you were surprised to have him immediately replace them with ones already filled with food, still warm.

“How—”

“Your boyfriend called ahead.”

Not even having the wherewithal to correct Renjun on the fact that you’d only technically gone on one date with Jaehyun and he most definitely was not your boyfriend at that point in time, you instead went to reach for your wallet.

“He also paid ahead too.”

“Then—”

“Goodbye.”

And so you left Lenticular Café.

Strangely, when you got back to Vivi’s Vintage Vinyls, the lights were off inside, and the closed sign was flipped around. Weird. Did Jaehyun just… forget that you were bringing him dinner? And that all your stuff was inside? And that the shop was supposed be open for another two hours?

Doubtful that it would work, you tried the handle nonetheless. It opened. You could at least get your things. But as soon as you had entered the dark shop, you heard a click and suddenly caught sight of a light from your left. Walking around the counter, you saw Jaehyun sitting cross-legged on the floor behind the counter, a flickering candle lit in front of him as he then lit two more on either side of the first. Two wine glasses were set out, one with a can of Sunkist beside it and the other with your own favorite non-alcoholic beverage.

“Oh…” you breathed out, irrepressible grin coming to your face as you took it in.

“Is this a little bit more of a romantic second date than just studying and working?” He quipped, eyebrow quirking up.

You nodded, sitting down in a little bit of a daze. Jaehyun took the food containers from your hands and opened them up, laying out the food in front of the two of you. He cracked open your drink first, pouring it to the appropriate level that one would typically pour wine into a wine glass, despite it most definitely not being wine. Then he opened his own with a satisfying sizzle and served himself in a similar fashion.

“Can you close the shop just to have dinner with me?” You asked curiously as he took out utensils for the two of you.

“Don’t worry, I asked my manager.”

“Aren’t you the manager?”

“Exactly.”

“Oh my god.”

“I don’t mind bending the rules for you, Y/N, you might want to get used to it instead of questioning me every time I do it.”

Silent for a moment as you absentmindedly traced the rim of your glass, you relented, “Fine.”

“Nice,” he grinned, holding his own wine glass up towards you. Getting the hint, you clinked them together before taking a sip.

“So what are you reading?” You gestured towards the counter above you where his closed book was.

“The Iliad, again.”

“You like it, then?”

“Yes, and it’s the next assigned reading for your class; I always make sure to have the story fresh in my mind before you guys start it.”

“That’s nice. I don’t think Dr. Kwan has read half the stuff that he makes us read. Or, he at least hasn’t read it in decades.”

“Dr. Kwan is barely in his thirties, did you know that?”

“He doesn’t look like it.”

“You’re mean.”

“But I’m right, right? He looks like he’s at least fifty!”

Jaehyun gave you a pointed look before it broke into a guilty smile, “I’d say no more than forty-five.”

“You’re too kind, Jae,” you snickered. “The Iliad is about a war, right?”

He raised an eyebrow, “You know anything more about it than that?”

“I think I read an excerpt of when Achilles drags Hector’s body around behind the chariot after Hector killed Achilles’ boyfriend.”

“Patroclus.”

“Yeah, him,” you took a bite of your food then washed it down before adding, “It was on some reading comprehension test I took in middle school. I didn’t like it too much.”

“Why not? It’s a great piece.”

You shrugged, “I just couldn’t get past the actual words they were saying. It didn’t make sense to me, I didn’t know what was happening whatsoever.”

Jaehyun quickly went to swallow his bite in order to say, “It wasn’t really meant to be read, it was meant to be listened to. It was originally an oral tradition, passed down from generation to generation. It was something where a whole town would get together and listen to someone—who spent months or years of his life memorizing it—recite it to them. Storytellers. Like how we would go to the movies nowadays. Homer was just the first guy that we know of who wrote it down.”

“If only I lived in 300 BC Greece, or whenever Homer was around,” you retorted with feigned wistfulness.

“Closer to 700 BC.”

“Oh, you big nerd,” you shot back teasingly. “My point still stands: it’s hard for me to read, therefore hard to understand, and therefore I can’t get into the actual story or know what’s happening.”

Jaehyun’s food was already half gone, and he pushed it aside before rising up onto his knees. With only minor difficulty in stretching his legs, torso, and arm enough, he secured his book from the counter. He plopped back down into his sitting position and opened it up to the beginning.

“It’s obviously not in the original Greek so the rhymes, meter, and rhythm with be off, and I’m no trained storyteller, but I think you might like it better this way.”

Intrigued, you set your eating utensils aside to listen intently to Jaehyun.

As he started reading, it reminded you of that time in your apartment when he was reading the poems aloud to you. You found that you weren’t paying much attention to the words he was saying exactly, but how nice they all sounded together and coming out of his mouth, and the lilts and intonation of his voice.

He occasionally would look up as he read, probably to see if you were still paying attention or not, but for the most part, his focus was down on the words below him. Even just watching him read was enough to hold your attention, when paired with listening to him as well created a rather entrancing effect over your whole being. You could’ve sat there forever and listened to Jung Jaehyun read to you.

And you must have, as he stopped for longer than he had before, closing the book on his thumb to keep his page as he looked up at you expectantly.

“Well? Any better?” He prompted you.

“Yeah, I liked it,” you nodded quickly. “Thank you.”

His features broke into his signature dimpled smile, “Of course, Y/N.”

Looking down at your phone for the time, you saw that it was rather late. Definitely later than the shop was open, you were pretty sure. The two of you had finished your food and drink, and you had no want to continue your studying for the night. Go to sleep with nice thoughts in your brain, like Jung Jaehyun, rather than thoughts of Literature or Calculus, that’s what you wanted.

Jaehyun had also checked the time, and now clicked his tongue, “Alright, time to start closing up for the night. If you don’t mind staying, I want to walk you home. There shouldn’t be too much to do.”

“I don’t mind,” you reassured him, equally wanting to prolong your time together.

“Can you turn the lights on for me?”

Walking over to the switches on the wall he had gestured to, you did so, the store suddenly becoming much too bright. As your eyes adjusted, Jaehyun blew out the candles then took them and the wine glasses into the back office, presumably where they had been before. He put his stuff away before attending to the actual needs of the store: counting change in the register, replacing some records that customers had taken out but didn’t purchase, double-checking the safe in the office, things like that. He met you at the front door to set the security alarm and turn off the lights, then stopped on the sidewalk in front of it to properly lock the store as well.

After he put his keys away, he turned to you with finality, and took your hand to start down the street with you. You found yourself smiling like a fool, ridiculously happy to just hold his hand.

“Jae.”

“Hm?”

You stopped the two of you on the rather barren sidewalk, deftly rising up on your toes to peck his lips before pulling away just as quick and resuming your walk.

“And what was that for?”

“Just wanted to.”

There was a beat of silence before Jaehyun broke it.

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

He halted you to tug on your hand, jerking you closer to him until you were pressed up to him, able to feel the warmth of his body encompassing your own. Instead of making it short and sweet like you did, he simply looked down at you, smirking as he watched your eyes flutter shut in anticipation then squint open with suspicion. Right as you had opened your mouth to question him, he then swooped down to lock his lips with yours. It was a deep, dizzying kiss, one that swept you off your feet and made your head spin. Or maybe that was the lack of oxygen. You didn’t particularly care in that moment, just happy to clutch at his shirt and feel his mouth against yours.

After what felt like simultaneously a millennium and a millisecond, the two of you broke apart.

You were sure that you looked like you’d just gotten kissed well: hair a little mussed up from where his fingers had laced through your locks, lips probably a little kiss-swollen, eyes wide and pupils blown out as you gazed up at him.

To your credit, Jaehyun looked just as you did: shirt now crumpled from your grip, cheeks flushed with heat, and eyes so dark you could see your own image reflected back in them in the illumination from the streetlight.

“What was that for?” You could barely croak out, voice embarrassingly shaky.

Jaehyun’s own tone was thicker and deeper as he replied, “I just wanted to.”

Outside your apartment door, you didn’t want to leave Jaehyun. You were clinging to him during your goodbye hug, your chest twinging with the need to just be around him in that moment. You could invite him in, but you didn’t want to risk one thing leading to another and Taeyong being present for… something, again.

“That was a wonderful second date, Jaehyun, thank you,” you murmured into his neck, hoping he could make out your words in the nearly silent hallway.

He must have, as he replied aptly, “Of course, Y/N. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Reluctantly pulling back from him, you unlocked your door and turned the handle. But you made no further moves. As if he could read your mind, and knew what you were waiting for before you knew it, Jaehyun pecked your lips then your forehead in slow succession, making you feel like you were on Cloud 9 for just a moment.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he sighed, warm breath washing over your forehead where he had just left a kiss.

“Goodnight, Jae,” you echoed, offering up a pleased smile before finally properly opening your door.

You closed it behind you slowly, and even watched through the peephole after it had clicked shut. Jaehyun stood there in front of your door, absolutely smitten grin on his face as he tapped a finger to his bottom lip almost reminiscently. He stood there for just another moment before turning and walking back towards the staircase. Once he was out of sight, you finally walked further into your apartment, feet guiding you to your bedroom, where you promptly and willingly flopped down onto your bed, chest swelling, mind buzzing, and skin tingling.

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[kittus-sideshow-shindig]

I decided I’d be moving some of my void century ocs to this blog under the OC section. Void century meaning these ocs are from the Void Century period within one piece. (If you’re familiar of Galapagos of somftchilds, she’s technically a void century oc too that nami writes). I think it’d be easier for me and I’ll actually write them with all my ocs on the same blog. Here’s some info about the ones I plan to write if you’re interested! (I’ll be doing proper bios for them) Warning this is long because my Void OCs have the most lore/details made up about them.

King Janus - The final ruler of the fallen Great Kingdom. A young king with great aspirations turned sour under the weight of the World. A previous user of the Soru Soru no Mi, as a child Janus wished to use his command of the soul to spread eternal life to the people of his kingdom. He cared about them above all else. He eventually awakened his Soru Soru no Mi to even greater affect, although without getting any closer to his goal. Upon finding a strange owl-girl named Pitsy, he found he could take unlimited soul from her for a strange reason. When it was found she was an exiled princess of the Germa Kingdom, this would spark tensions between Germa’s king and himself. Eventually, he was unable to achieve his goal and was driven insane by his immense power and the war with the Alliance. He would become to be known as the ‘Monster Lord’ for the souls he siphoned from other civilizations to create fearsome homies to deploy in the war. He would die in battle via over exertion of his power and his body would no longer be able to handle it.

Monkey D. Embla - The progenitor of today’s Monkey D’s. A previous user of the Shiro Shiro no Mi, she had a penchant for travelling and helping people displaced by wars. She cared not to get involved with political matters, but she could never say no to helping someone in need. Her existence is the bane of Loki (zahraalgernon).

Melly - An odd Lunarian that is ostracized by her tribe. Born with albinism, her wings sport a heavenly white color as opposed to the black that is trademark of their tribe. User of the Hito Hito no Mi Model: Seraph, she was at odds with her warmongering father and wished to usher in peace and understanding between the Lunarians and other tribes. This ultimately failed since her father continued to antagonize all other Non-Lunarians and the Allianced pushed the tribe out of their ancestral home atop the Red Line. Kind, soft-spoken, and soft with children, not often did she get violent. When she did, usually in fights against her father, she was capable of terrible destruction and others pinned the moniker of ‘The High Seraph’ on her.

Vinsmoke Ellis - The second child and first daughter of ruling Germa King Vinsmoke Sinclair. A previous user of the Wara Wara no Mi. Quiet and apathetic to the world around her, she looked up to her father the most. Even being as young as a child, she enjoyed educing pain on others with the straw dolls she created. If you talked anything bad about Sinclair, you may expect to lose more than an arm from her. She would eventually be killed by Janus in cold blood.

Kozuki Sakuya - The first daughter of the ruling Shogun of Wano in this era. User of a mysterious origami fruit called the Gami Gami no Mi. A fierce swordswoman who wanted the best for Wano above all else. She was well-liked, and some may think she was more fitting to be the next Shogun even if Wano law forbade it. Asexual, she would be disinterested in continuing the biological Kozuki line anyway. Maybe too serious most of the time.

Iori (He’s my newest one) - An odd boy from Ringo within Wano. Training to be a swordsmith, he became the unexpected object of fury and reverence after he stole a most important treasure from the Kozuki Family vaults - the Inu Inu no MI Model: Okuchi no Makami. The flowing legendary white dog was believed to be the Guardian God of the country and would appear in times of need. Iori, however, wasn’t exactly the personality of a guardian god. While he claims to the angered Kozukis that he did it sensing great danger to the country, in reality he only did so to get closer with animals and wished to be able to speak to and understand them. Threatened with execution, he knew he would need to have the people on his side, and constructed a great image of himself. The common people would see his good deeds and fully recognize them as their guardian deity, and he would stress to keep up appearances so he wouldn’t end up dead. He is genuinely nice. and when he isn’t being a public figure, is actually quite shy and sheepish when talking to other people. Is most enthusiastic to talk to and be around animals instead. May or may not be the reason tigers in the modern day walk around with swords since he thought it was a great idea to arm the wild animal population.