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so2collection · 1 year ago

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Star Ocean: Blue Sphere Mini Guide and Tips - Final Section

First half you can view by clicking here.

Leviabor Ruins (Part 2)

Private Action - Leviabor Ruins (Floor 320 / Right Side; Before clearing Leviabor Ruins) - Rena IN - Use Rena's Rebirth to revive some guy killed by a monster. He gives you an item based on the GB model you're playing on. GB/Super Gameboy 1 has the best prize. Note: I didn't do this, because the guide I used gave me the wrong requirements and I passed it. GBA gets an Orichalcum, so it wasn't really worth it anyway.

We can now unlock all floors. Talk to the man on the right and he'll automatically unlock all the floors on both elevators. Don't forget to check both. Make sure you get the Guiding fragments before looking for the Seal.

Go to Ava City (or, if you don't wanna look around, just teleport right to the Leviabor Ruins). Some of the shops are still there, but the buildings aren't… Lord Ava is nowhere to be found (and you still can't take his treasure darn it). 3rd door from the top of Ava's palace is the way back to Leviabor. If you check the inn where you can sleep at the bed for free, you'll also see that is where Lord Ava has taken refuge.

We already have the Fire seal from early game, so that's 1 down, 9 to go…

Water Seal - Start at the 103rd Floor. Defeat the enemies in the rooms going right, right, and up. A treasure appears with a Guiding Water fragment. Return to the beginning of the 103 Floor and go to the left, upper left this time. Defeat the Froggy to get a Blue keycard, then go up. There's a treasure with the Water Seal. Go back to the upper right side and we have to fight Titan. (Huh, he didn't appear for me… maybe I fought him earlier, I can't remember…)

Wind Seal (Rena is required for this floor.) - 114th Floor. Break the box (right, right, up) on the lower right to get the Guiding Wind fragment. Hit the switch ahead. Head up to fight a Titan. Two of Rena's Ray spells took him out easily. Press on until you see a broken floor switch. Use Rena's Rebirth on it. Before hitting this switch, go up and hit the lower right breakable box and reveal another switch. Hit that. Go left and defeat the two titans to get the Wind Seal. Go back using the teleporter on the right.

Earth Seal (Rena is required for this floor if you want the full set of Jeanne armor. Since I'm using Dias/Celine/Rena, it's useless. You should have someone with Push/Pull to avoid near soft-locking.) - 30th Floor. Match up the boxes to the spaces on the floor like you've done many times by now (you can just use Push, you don't need Pull) Go left and match up some more blocks in the upper and lower screens to open a door. Go left and break open the upper left box to get the Guiding Earth fragment. Return to the elevator room and go right this time. Keep going right, use Rena's Rebirth on the center to revive the block and finish the puzzle to get some Jeanne Armor (great for characters like Chisato). Go back to the room left of the boxes and down through the door the Guiding Earth opened up. Fight the Cooper and continue down. Go right and when you get to the room with two blocks, move them off of their spots on the floor to close the previous door and open the bottom one. Get the drive from the treasure chest (you'll need a lot of these, like 5 or 10 or something, you should have 1 so this should make 2).

So I soft-locked myself because I didn't have Pull :/ I had to Teleport out to the ship and go all the way back. To get Pull on Dias or Rena, they need Perseverance at 7. Safe to say, I could get it for Rena, but it just seemed easier to backtrack.

From the room where you moved the two blocks to make 4 match on the floor (lower/center), move them all OFF of the marks so you can go left instead. Grab the treasure for the Earth Seal.

Void Seal - Go to floor 227. First defeat the Carlas and hit the switch on the right. This is timed: Go left, go down, right, and down for a fight. Get the Gold Key and the Fairy Ring. (You don't know how happy I am for a Fairy Ring for Celine; I can spam her spells way more now!) Return to where you flipped the switch and go right. If you don't have hover, you'll have to fall into the pit and go back up. If you go right, there's some useless items. Go back to the elevator area. Go down and left, defeat the Carla, and hit the hidden switch in the block. Go down, hit both switches and return to the elevator again. Go left twice. Defeat the Carlas and get another Blue Key from a ? chest, then hit the switch and go down the lower right path. Go down and in the lower left corner in the Guiding Void. Go right, save, then go down for the boss. Go down and the Void Seal is in the chest. If you come back to large, open room where you got the Guiding Void, with Room Analysis FA, you can get Bunny Shoes. Just nab Ernest and come back.

Star Seal - Go to 216th Floor. Go left, down, left, left, down (use Gold Key you should have 227 Floor). Defeat all enemies in a room to get Blue Keycards. The Guiding Star is in a chest. Return to the elevator and go right and up to get the Star Seal.

Darkness Seal - Go to 115th Floor. Go left, get the treasure, then go back and hit the switch. Go right from here and hit another switch. Go back to the far left and up for the Guided Darkness fragment. Turn off the switch near the elevator and the one to the right, then go down for the Darkness Seal. Go right for a transport down.

Light Seal - Go to the 1st Floor. Go left for one of those Drives and then go back to the elevator area and go to the upper right for the Guided Light fragment. Take the teleporter down and return to the 1st floor. Go right, down, and right to find the switch puzzle room. It's confusing to explain, so I won't list the answer here. Took me about ten minutes to figure out. Go down, right, and fight the boss. Take the Light Seal and Fairy Source and go back down with the teleporter.

We're almost done… I stopped here to use the 2k SP I amassed on Celine and finally maxed out her TECH (I didn't get Lezard Techno, though, which sucked. Too many points in the opposite branch, I think.)

Bolt Seal - B12th Floor. Go down and move the block. Go right and get a Copper Key. Go left, left, up, right and open the door with the key. Go straight up and move the block. Go down and right a let the floodgates open. Swim down and get the chest you couldn't reach before for the Guided Bolt fragment. Go left and left and the fragment will open the door on the lower left of the map. Go through. The Bolt Seal is in the chest. Go to the elevator and switch floors then return to B12. Move the block thats downward near where the Seal was, then activate the water. Go grab the drive from the seal room. Finally, go and come back again, this time just let the water go first thing so it goes to B13.

Minus Seal - B13th Floor. Put all the blocks in the spaces and grab the drive from the center and all the stones in the other chests. Go down and swim to the two blue chests, one has a Platinum Key. Go back to the top side and right, you'll see the area in the screenshot, put the drives you've collected there.

This drains the water. Use the Platinum Key on the lower left door. Go to the far right and put the green block on the green glowing space, then swim back to where we started. If you go up and all the way right, there's a blue chest with the Guiding Minus fragment. Go back to the Platinum Key door and go down until you're in a submerged room with platforms. You can swim, but it doesn't lead anywhere. You can jump, but it is a major pain in the ass. I went and nabbed Precis (switched for Rena) to use Hover to get through this section. Hover to the far left for a boss fight. He went down with 2 Thunderbolts and a Thunderstorm for me. Grab the chest for the Minus Seal. Use a bomb on the back wall and you'll need Pull to move the block (you can then grab 2 stones, nothing great so dont worry if you miss this) and then return to the boss room and go through the transport.

The Final Floor! - 320th Floor -

Put all the Seals in place and face the Chimera boss that Rival sics on you. 6 Thunderbolts took him out. When Celine gets fatigued, switch to Rena to keep Dias alive. Once Chimera is dead, this opens Grand Knott (finally). Go up to enter it, save.

We'll be getting some really good armor soon, so don't waste too many resources just yet. Heal up/restock and let's tackle the lower level of Grand Knott…

Grand Knott (lower layer) Go up and Rival says she'll be waiting on the fourth floor. (The number 4 is associated with death in Japan, so we all know what she means by that…)

Make sure you've saved/healed (Grand Knott is added to the transporter) and go face the boss, El Dorado. Just use a few Thunderbolts and keep your distance. Bless on Dias helps as well. This annoying gold BlackDragonFiendWannabe will be a common enemy soon... :(

Now, to get the treasure we need someone with Room Analysis, so we may have to lose Rena for a bit and bring Ernest. To the right is a Mithril. The left room has a whip for Ernest and I think you can get through it with his Whip ability, but I grabbed Precis to see what the item was (you need both, because you need Room Analysis for the treasure). After this go grab Celine and Rena again (you'll need either Precis or Rena for some items coming up).

Go up from the entrance past the boss room and go left, up, and right to reach a room with some treasure (very useful curatives), then go left and left again (you may have to clear a room of enemies to open a door) to get back to the central area. Go right, up, and left for more treasure (a weapon for Precis.. fun). Now go right, down, right, down, up and you'll see stairs. Go to Floor 2.

Floor 2 - Ignore the panel, go up, left a bit, and up. Grab the treasure (the Mithril Dress isn't better than anything you currently should have so you can skip this step if you want) and then go back to the panel and click it. Go straight up to the 3rd Floor.

Floor 3 - Push the brick onto the circle and the top area will open. Go up, defeat the Golds (do not let them get initiative; Celine's Magic Shot is great for this) and grab the Purple Keycard. Go back to the entrance, move the block off the circle, and go right and up (left is a dead end). On the left side of blocks, break the top right block for the treasure (weapon for Ashton). There are more El Dorados in some of the blocks, so be careful.

Spell - Rena sparked Light Cross from using Ray. :)

Go down and right and down and use Rena's Rebirth on the bridge. Put the block on the space and grab the treasure (Leon weapon) from the right room.

NOTE: There's Seraphic armor in the top hall, so be sure to explore there too. You do not want to pass on this armor. If you've played SO2, you know how powerful it is. Put the Seraphic Guard and Garb on Dias, since he's our meat-shield.

Go back to the bridge and down. It's hard to tell but there's a room with a glowing panel on the upper right. Flip the switch (change the arrow). You'll arrive on the fourth floor. Remember, this is where Rival said she's waiting for us, but we need the Prism Key from the 5th Floor…

Welcome to dungeon maze Hell. Best part is, this is gonna show up in the top half of Grand Knott, too.

Spell - During a battle, using Starlight, Celine sparked Lost Mental (Mind Absorber). Using Ray, Celine sparked Southern Cross (finally~)

I wandered around for 3 hours trying to get elevators to where I needed them. Familiarize yourself with the layout before you do anything.

Fuck this room and everything it represents. What a horrible fucking place to just punish you for learning the game. These little jerks respawn constantly.

There's a series of rooms and the elevators move between the floors. Just follow this guide: Top - A, Right/Middle - B, Right/Bottom - C, Left - D <-- these are the elevators Ride D up. Ride B down. Ride A up. Ride D down. Go right and down for a green dragon enemy. He gives 99 SP per fight and can be one shot killed by Celine's Southern Cross. Go left and take the elevator to Floor 3, then save and go up.

You're truly on the 4th Floor now. Rival lays await in the room ahead. Get the Prism Key from the left side and a Robe of Ishtar for Rena on the left (and Elven Boots too, if you want them). You shouldn't need help with these puzzles, considering they put them on the back of cereal boxes and restaurant playmats… You may even consider grinding that green dragon for SP. When ready go save before going through the door.

Rival is gonna give a whopping 600 SP, so use an Extension Card at the start of the battle! For the fight itself, remember this isn't the final battle… So, don't go ham on using your best stuff yet. Besides, two blasts from Celine's Southern Cross decimated her. I even had time to prep with Anti and Bless, because I went in expecting the worst. :p In fact, using Bless, I sparked Angel Feather!! Even better!

Nice to have some easy levels/fights after that fucking slog that was Grand Knott's lower layer… Rival shows up for real and reveals we defeated a clone. She tries to kill us, but the Edifians intefere and teleport us out.

Aqua City Revisited The Edifian leaders say Rival went to the orbital elevator, Ex Trokia. It's some form of a structure that exists on the planet underwater and can communicate with space (where Rival piloted Grand Knott). The Edifians take you there.

Heal. Restock. Grind a bit in Grand Knott if you want. Make sure you save/have some Extension Cards for the boss battles ahead (make them with Art). When you're ready take the upper left door in Aqua City (the one that previously and can be changed back to Nusa Beach, if you want)

Looks straight out of Alien, huh?

Ex Trokia Trade Rena out for Precis. Floor 2 - You start on 2F. On the left, go left again for treasure. On the right, go right for treasure. Once done, go drop Precis for Rena (the best item was the Shield Earrings, put those on a mage if you need to take less damage) and come back, go back to the right and this time go up (you can jump the 2 gaps). You'll find a ladder to F1. Go down and right and blow up the lower right wall with a bomb. Toss the Mithril Helm on Dias and go back where you blew up the wall and head up.

Floor 1 - On the left, light up the 6 switches before the lights go out. Study duration and use Dias' Dash to get them all. On the right side press the blocks in this order or you'll get attacked: low right, upper left, upper right, lower left. In the center/up room, align the blocks in a cross/plus shape.

Floor 3 - Go up to Floor 3. Go left and flip the lever and go up and activate the console. Return to the beginning of the floor and go right and up for the stairs. If you hit the switches in the room, they open doors. The only item is a Mithril, so go up and right to the 6th Floor. Don't bother with the elevator path on the left; it's a dead end with no items.

Floor 6 - From the stairs go: up, up, up, left, save, and through the door. All the items are just common junk, so don't bother. There's a boss fight coming so heal up and launch the Linear Shuttle to the Metro.

Nu, one of Rival's flunkies, attacks. I used Angel Feather on Dias, then kept my distance as much/often as possible to give time to cast Southern Cross. His first form goes down in 4-5 casts. The second form will take double that. Your biggest issue for the second form is avoiding stamina fatigue and keeping everyone alive. Switch who you're controlling if you need to. Be patient and you'll win quickly. He gives 440 SP, so it's worth using an Extension Card (I forgot)…

Now we're in some kind of colony. They don't register to the teleporter… There's a tricky jump on the upper right. Save, then stand on the metal bar on the right and leap up. Go left, up, grab the ? treasure, and continue right and up. Go to the next shuttle and the next colony (Norn colony).

Go up and right. Defeat the dragon guys to open the doors again. Go up (right is nothing and the enemies do respawn). Go to the next shuttle / Metro colony. Go up for a place to heal for free. To the right of the beds is a wall to bomb. You get one of each Check (Stone ect) and some Talismans. Go back to the main area and go right.

There's a series of rooms here with blue crests on the floor. Kill the enemies WITHOUT destroying the boxes. When you put them over the crests the block in the center becomes a treasure (usually its the best weapon in the game outside Blue Sphere crafting or Cave of Trials, so they are well worth it!) I think if you mess up you can go back to your ship, but you can't go to the colonies, so you'd have to backtrack… Save carefully (I missed Precis' weapon) If you go up you'll find an elevator that takes you to the final city, Cosmo City, so there may be hope yet to complete the colony…

Of course, we have to go through a little road to the city. Go left to heal/save. Go up through the enemies to face a boss, Rival's other flunky, Diablo.

Use an Extension Card first thing in the fight. Use Celine's Southern Cross and Rena's Light Cross to take him out fairly quickly (he also doesn't have a second form and he isn't as aggressive as the other guy was).

Cosmo City Enter Cosmo City. There's a blue Froggy enemy, but he isn't hostile. All the little robots are talking about their Master away on a trip and are obscessed with cleaning. It's kinda sad :( Make sure you upgrade your main trios weapons (I guess the upgrades in the dungeon weren't as good? Or the same?) Anyway, they're pretty pricey. If you go to the Item Shop they have higher-grade food ingredients, so you could cook with those or use anything you have. Personally, I sold gold bars and all the Bunny statues and got just enough Fol for weapons, a Duel Helm for Dias, some accessories, and restocked my usual consumables.

Go back to the ship to heal for free and feel free to pick some herbs in Cosmo with Bowman if you want. Also, make sure to switch out Dias and talk to him for his ultimate weapon. (Private Action) Fun fact, he says he got it from Gamgee! Nice!

Speaking of… How do we get the Blue Spheres for the Ultimate Weapons?!

Item Creation - Alchemy / Blue Sphere Make sure skill is maxed Make sure you have the Lezard Flask This works for everyone except Dias, Chisato, and one other (I need to look this up again) who obtain through Psychometry and NOT Blue Sphere. Make Blue Sphere, have the ultimate weapon, and bring it to the man in Knott…

You need to make connections between the elements. Blue Sphere needs: Earth (4), Water (6), Fire (4), and Wind (4 Minimum, 6 Max). Connections are when the gems connect, like this: o-o-o = 2 connections o-o-o-o =3 connections

My wife and I tried for a long time… it's basically impossible. On the bright side, iron is cheap and using alchemy can be a great way to make money for late-game. The only other way to get Blue Spheres is to play the Connect feature, which isn't usable for English. :( My only idea is to load up my save in a GB and go grab that supposed free one, so let's try that…

Go to the door behind Rival's old base in Knott and find the tower with the breakable wall (remember, the wall is only breakable in Mobile version, which is lost media… So the GB version (Black and White) makes a hole you can pass through)

Thank. God. Using my emulator to change the settings worked (make sure it's set to Gameboy, Black and White) or the door won't appear. So, we have 1 free Blue Sphere. Let's take it to the man in Knott…

Okay, I can confirm there is none for Dias, Ashton, or Chisato, so don't bother. We may as well make Celine hers. So choose 'Rod' from the list. You'll get the Volcanic Mage Rod. Now, you may notice it's like the other ultimate weapons (which, btw, Dias, Ashton, and Chisato give through their Private Actions). All the stats are 0. That's not quite the case!

How do the Ultimate Weapons work?

Here is how they work: ATK = Stat Base + STR divided by 2, Stat Base + HIT = Dexterity divided by 4, Stat base + MAG = INT divided by 2

So, Celine's base INT right now in my file is 304, giving this weapon an +INT of 152, bringing the total MAG/INT to a powerful 456! You can see the stat change in the Status Menu.

In comparison, though, there are the Cave of Trials weapons. Celine's best CoT weapon is the Forbidden Maze (not sure of the ROM translation, this is from the guide) which only has an INT of 100… There is also that early dungeon weapon based on total playtime, but it seems a pain to calculate. If you wanna go grab that and give it a shot, go for it! (I mentioned it early on in the guide.)

Don't get confused by the 0 change to Dias' STR, his ATK power goes way up! :)

In conclusion, the Blue Sphere is worth it.

Skills - More Tips A character is maxed/can't learn anymore skills when the skill level reaches 350. You REALLY need to not level the opposite branch at all. I did this for Dias and he learned Awakening, but Celine had too many points in Battle and did not learn Lezard Techno or Lost Magic.

Item Creation - Psychometry From what I gather, if Dias learned Awakening, then he just needs Radio Waves (Sense Lv 1 Skill) and Religious Studies (Theology) (Int level 1 skill) also to unlock Psychometry.

I'm not going to touch on it too heavily, but the object of the game will let you use up the ultimate weapon to unlock the ultimate skill (SAVE before). I think if you succeed / luck you can keep the weapon AND learn the skill. Theology seems to be a late INT skill, and I haven't maxed Battle yet… I will update if I manage to train enough, as having another skill would be great, but not at the loss of the weapon…

Late-Game Levelling (before Cave of Trials) I want to make more Extend Cards and go fight those green dragons that give 99 SP each, since they would give 198 SP each fight and they go down in one hit of Celine's Thunderstorm…

Item Creation - Art (Extend Card) First, we need Extend Cards, so we need Art. Celine should have it near max. Buy Magical Canvas from Mile Ruins' Shop. Save. To get Extend Card, you need red paint in the center of the image (each different item requires different colors/placements). If you have trouble affording the Magical Canvas, sell any paintings or cards you don't want, food, or stones made with Alchemy.

If you don't get red paint, don't worry. Just stay nearest to the center as you can and you can still get an Extend Card. If you have another color but already have red in the center, you can hold the brush off of the canvas as well. My advice is to just keep all paint towards the center by lightly tapping opposite the direction the paint brush moves.

Once you have 15, go to Ex Trokia (3F) and fight the green dragon enemies. I know you can use Rena's Rebirth to revive monsters, too, but an easier way is to get to the 4F stairs and go back down to respawn the dragons in the rooms. Once you enter a room, wait a second and use Celine's Magic Shot FA for initiative. Get some distance in the fight, have Rena use the Extend Card, and then cast Southern Cross for easy one-hit wins.

Also, while leveling Dias, I learned the skill he needed for Pull, which is Mental at level 7 (it's a Battle Skill). Also, once he got the Level 4 Skill Combination the AI was doing 4 hit combos and taking down the dragons itself.

I am hoping to max Dias, but I don't wanna go forever training. I'm already at 40 hours playtime. Heal/stock/save, maybe try to make some more armor if you want, then let's go complete this game!

Grand Knott (upper layer) The transporters in the first area with the escalators all lead to the bottom. Bring a few bombs.

Go up the right escalator 4 times, then take the left path for a treasure. Keep going up from there.

There's a bomb wall on the right. I put the Mirage Robe on Celine for the extra evasion, since she's middle spot. Don't bother with the escalators for now (left ones are an enemy filled dead end, right leads up). Go left and then go through the door with the guard.

Here's the damn elevator puzzle again. Go up twice, take the elevator. Go right, down, down, left, down / out the door, down the escalator, left and through the door again. Go left and ride the elevator. Go right, down / out the door, up the escalator, and through the door. On the right there is a dead end with a weapon for Precis. From the entrance go left and up. If you want Sylvan armors (not useful for Dias/Cel/Rena), ride the elevator. Grab the treasure (be careful of the red dragon, we're back to OKO enemies boys… I just ran) and go back down the elevator. Go right, up, left, up, right, up, left. Solve the maze to get to the upper/right side, go up the stairs and get one of the God Rings for the CoT.

Go back down to the maze and solve to go up. Rival greets us and welcomes us to the Grand Knott Core.

Grand Knott (Core) Use Jump to grab the Philosopher's Stone from the chest, then teleport back to your ship real quick.

Private Action - OUT: Celine - Spaceship - Gain Field Action / FA Teleport by speaking with her outside the ship.

Prepare now. By the end of the dungeon, I did learn Psychometry (leveled Sense and Battle to full, then learned Knowledge until I got Theology!)

You'll need Teleport or Hover to get through easiest. The main enemy here is that red dragon, so it's not going to be a cakewalk… There's a little bit of dungeon to explore (best items are Wizard's Mesh on the far bottom right and the Oberon Knife (towards the top left, you'll need Teleport or Whip to reach it), but I'll provide the most direct path to Rival / Final Boss: Right, up, (Repair the bridge with Rena's FA Rebirth), up, left, up, up, up, right, right, right, across the gap with the poles (use Teleport or Ernest Whip), go all the way left, up, right, and you should see an opening going up. Save!!! The final boss is on the other side!!!

SAVE

I equipped Dias with the Tri-Emblem. Celine removed Star Necklace for a Resist Ring.

Final Boss Rival

She shifts between four forms. You must defeat a form in 30 seconds to kill it. If you only damage it and she shifts, the form fully heals.

The mecha goes down pretty quick between Dias' attacks and Celine's Southern Cross. The demon only takes three Southern Cross to kill. The wizard takes a long time casting, so using spells/attacks it should go down quickly. Make sure if you're controlling Dias to stay up on her, she likes to back up. Lenneth form is the worst one, mostly vunerable to physical attacks; if you can hit her. Use Angel Feather and any support items (Mental Pot on Celine, a Speed increase for Dias). After I did this Dias finally took her out fairly quickly. The normal form of Rival is cake and goes down super quick. You should see it briefly at the beginning of the fight and again at the end.

Rival, defeated, explains she is a human created by Edifice, a master computer from another world (Mother Brain?) It's goal is to never let humanity evolve too far and erase it every time it advances. Rival also explains that she wanted to defeat Edifice, but isn't able to, so she summoned the SO2 group to do so.

Rival gives her goodbyes and you go on to face Edifice. Don't worry about the fight; Dias took it out in like 3 hits.

Looks like a FNAF endoskeleton D:

Mother Brain explodes and you escape. Congrats to us all, for finally completing the main story of Blue Sphere! :)

ENDING - SPOILERS (Note: There are not multiple endings, but there is a post game.)

Okay, shitty new Tumblr only allows 30 images per post, so PLEASE CLICK HERE FOR THE ENDING / FINAL THOUGHTS POST. (This is ridiculous.)

#star ocean blue sphere #tips and tricks #strategy guide #SOBS #beginner's guide #star ocean series #fan translated #video game review

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richtercard · 2 years ago

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points you. Opinions on the GBA/DS era of Castlevanias if you've played any of them.

circle of the moon - i put it down after 15 minutes of playtime and never touched it again because of that FUCKING WALK SPEED. it felt like i was walking through molasses with a 40lb backpack on or something. also the protagonist has the exact same name as my dad and that just makes me feel weird.

harmony of dissonance - i find it to be a kind of middling game but at the same time i think it's way overhated by some people. it's got its flaws, sure, but the castlevania series has put some real stinkers out there and to put it on the same level as, say, haunted castle or the gameboy games is a bit unfair. also i unironically love the soundtrack and can't be trusted with the aux cord because i WILL start blasting offense and defense.

aria of sorrow - it's a great game, what more is there to say? it's fun, the music and art direction are great, the characters are lovable, and i adore how the castlevania series now comes with a pre-built modern au (well, i guess it's more of a near future au since it takes place in 2035, but it definitely feels closer to modern)

dawn of sorrow - i have. complicated feelings about this game. dawn's version of the soul system focuses way more on the grinding aspect than aria, and the luck stat is fucking broken, meaning the only way to actually increase the drop rate of souls is to get the $300,000 soul eater ring, so either you're spending hours grinding souls or hours grinding money with no real in-between. also i don't like the story and feel like it took away a lot of the impact that the ending of the first game had. in aria, soma rejecting his role as the dark lord felt like it had weight, like he was effectively putting an end to the thousand-year cycle of death and violence that dracula started. but in dawn of sorrow, it turns out that no, the cycle didn't end, soma's actions just meant that someone else will become the dark lord. it's something that's always left a sour taste in my mouth. but at the same time.......... i think the game's kind of fun?? for all of my gripes, i had a blast playing it (especially julius mode) and i think it's really charming. i know everyone constantly gives this game and portrait of ruin shit for their budget anime art style, but i've always thought that at least the in-game sprites are pretty cute. idk. i hate dawn of sorrow but i love it but i hate it.

portrait of ruin - THEE best game of this era!!!!! it's SO fun and plays SO well i love the dual character system so fucking much. the music and overworld design are on POINT it's such a perfect jaunty vampire movie pastiche of a game. i've gotten 1000% completion in every bonus character mode (or at least the closest i can get) because it's just so fucking good and replayable. in terms of raw enjoyment it's probably my absolute favorite castlevania game of all time (in terms of true favorites it's only beaten out by symphony of the night, purely for emotional attachment reasons) it's the goat!!!!!!!! THE GOAT!!!!!!!!!!

order of ecclesia - UNDERRATED AF!!! i really really love the first half of the game and how it strikes a happy medium between linear progression and non-linear exploration, and i think it's nice to see other locations in a castlevania game beyond dracula's castle itself. also shanoa is hot.

#this ended up getting kind of long lmao #what can i say!!! i have a lot of thoughts about castlevania

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quibbs126 · 4 months ago

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Okay, so I had a random idea for some Evoland 2 thing while I was out today. I do that sometimes, make up random scenarios that could happen in game (but don’t). So like, it’d happen during the game

Anyways, so basically it was an idea for a way to actually see Demonia

We’re told we need this thing or other that was in Demonia (it isn’t really important, just an excuse for this storyline to happen), and so we go to Present Demonia Ruins to get whatever we need. Menos and Velvet leave, as they do when we’re here (I set it here because I need Menos not to be there), and while we’re exploring, we come across this place where there’s another special Magilith, since those exist. We use it, and the pair end up in a new time period, 100 years from the Present, aka about 899, in an actually thriving Demonia

Excuse for the special Magilith? Well this is where the Molecular Research Center once was, maybe they wanted to have their own secret Magilith here or something. Justify it however you like

When I was thinking about it, I came to the snag of the graphics change, since every time period has a different one. Made more difficult because it’s supposed to be in between the Magi era and Past era, so it has to be higher quality than Magi, aka GameBoy, and Past, which is…something else, I think 16 bit? Anyways, I thought this put me in a big conundrum, until I came to the big solution: GameBoy Color. Have the graphics be the same as it normally is in the two Eras (since they have the same ones, just different amounts of color), with there being colors but only a limited color palette. In my mind, it’s like the coloring in the Gen 2 Pokémon games. I felt really smart when I thought of that. But yeah, that’s what we’re using

So yeah, Fina and Kuro end up in this new time period, and they go around the capital, meeting people and trying to find that item. If you don’t want to do too much work in this new era (as well as just for time and limited characters), have it just be like, a big puzzle/side quest thing around town to get it. And also we aren’t allowed to leave the capital for whatever reason. What we do doesn’t really matter, it’s more about experiencing this place, at least for me

There is the problem of the group current being two Humans in the Demon capital, but this is also decades before the Great War, so maybe they’re a bit more open minded in this era and more lenient. I mean one of the guys in the Demon Camp said he used to have a Human friend, and he’s only 60, so it doesn’t seem too unreasonable

One more thing here (and the main reason I don’t include Menos in the main group), somewhere during this point, we end up meeting a younger version of Menos. I’m gonna say around Kuro and Fina’s age of teenager/young adult. I’m not too sure how Demon aging works, but that feels about right, with him being 50 years younger here. To ensure we don’t have too much timey-wimey shenanigans of Menos’ past self having met Menos, meaning he would have met us before the game, let’s say we don’t see him for that long. Like, he’s only there for a brief segment, like meeting us once, or we see a scene with him but he doesn’t meet us. Or even maybe he briefly helps us out, but not for too long. Enough so that we see him, but not long enough that we’d leave a big impression on him to clearly remember us 50 years later. Maybe after this section when we meet back up, Menos recalls having met two odd Humans once in the Capital but not really remembering them well, and maybe he starts to realize that it was indeed us because he knows time travel exists now, but it’s nothing much

We’d probably get a different main guy from this era that we interact with, probably in order to get that item we need, and Menos is just a cameo

But yeah, we get the thing we need here, we go back through the Magilith, Fina probably says something at the end about she feels even more sorry now for the Demons and what fate befalls them, as well as empathizing with Menos more, and we end this section

I don’t really know where in the timeline it’d fall, but let’s say after you get the Frangment of Earth, you can do this section. Since that’s the Demonia section

Like I’ve stated, it’s just an excuse to see Demonia before it got destroyed and such, as well as see a younger Menos just because I want to. I just think it’d be neat

I get that realistically, something like this probably wouldn’t happen in the game, given that the developers would have to make an entire new era and graphic style just for this one, relatively unimportant and small section. Yeah the Magi era you only need to visit once, but it’s part of the main story and has plenty of lore significance, as well as some foreshadowing of the ending. And again, it’s entirely superfluous in the grand scheme of this and easily cuttable, but I think it’d be neat

If I ever end up actually learning how to make games, at least in some way, maybe one of the first things I’d do is this little fan made extra sections for Evoland 2 (since this isn’t the only one I’ve made up). You know, like the Earthbound Halloween Hack or other romhack games. It’d be neat

#I just felt like sharing this idea because I liked it #I don’t think I could reasonably adapt it to any sort of fic or other thing #or at least not in a way that the point of it would get across #it’d only be in a video game format #but I suppose that’s an idea for me #anyways yeah #evoland 2 #ideas #random stuff

0 notes

vatt-world · 8 months ago

Text

hello , my name is azghi

i like basebell

im practising my introduction

i leave my home in india

i fly fly fly and land in america

im very excited

my entire village has turned up

i have passport

u know im first person to fly

i have a letter

dear azghni , its wonderful place

im going to help u

u can live with us and see america

he owned a restaurant

400 east 6 th st

the world , galaxy

hey ma , dont cry

when i go america , i will write every day

i will from top from empire state , bottom from grand canyon, hollywood

i will write from cleveland

i will be rich and i will invite u

what is this

a stone

u are giving a stone

story of riverstone

i dont r

im keeping it

i threw it away

i keep it

it is in my pocket

i have to go

u made it

this is new york is a crazy place

this is my job

im manager here

im the owner

im the waiter

its such a good job

u know mr hakim were waiting at airport

they two children

samir is 10 year

he is playing with gameboy

how am i doing

sakina is older

dont u worry , soon u will catch on

i have no idea

if u smile , nod u head , people love u

mr hakim is my best friend .. let me tell u something profound

any one can be rich

i just smile

u are absoultely

one day u are millionaire

america can u give u nothing

my dream is classical indian dancer

show me i used to dance

i used to dance

she closed her eyes

her arms and hips

i think u should

then she told me she is going to teach me dance

i try

i put my wrists and turn my hand

im very good this

i can be dancer myself

i can do much than cook food

u bught present for me

hello bob , business is good , dinner for 5

very proud of him

i understand

time is money

what is this dress

u think are too smart

u can marry black guy,white guy

why did i can to restaurant

so that i can proud of u

why did i came here , it is for u

they teach u about

i know

its all fun and games

and then what

everything will be gone

dont speak to me in english

look what u have become

dancing is iportant but im not

help ur mother in kitchen

sakina is getting married

its a party , there are lot of people

there is a dj playing songs

how could u leave ur stuff, u need to clean up

i give the gameboy.. give me postcard

u know what what

my sister sent picture of ninja turtles

we were supposed to go

but my grandmother died

u know what happened happened

u know what

i had a fight

im doing that

no way

u know what happeend

then i called upstairs

to see pics

do u remmeber

u can hold my gameboy for 5 mins

i kicked him

its my five minutes

im not even sorry

he stole my gameboy

im not coming here

why do u hit me

everyone is stupid

we were supposed not to

im sorry

come here ALI:Shut Up!—Shut Up!—I have to walk, I have to clear my head,

and I have to come back. I have to walk, I have to clear my head,

I have to come back, I have to walk, I have to clear my head, I

have to come back. I have to WALK! I have to clear my head, I

have to come— (Suddenly he looks up as if someone has opened

a door and he is staring into their face. He is visibly nervous, his

mouth is dry and his hands are sweaty.) I only have fifty dollars, I

don’t know if that’s enough or not. Oh, that’s fine, whatever you

do for fifty dollars is fine. I don’t know if I want the complete

package anyway. It’s probably safer that way, in regards to diseases and such. (Realizing his faux pas.) I’m sorry, I’m not saying

that you have any diseases. Oh no I ruined the mood. I’m sorry,

its just that I’m a Pre-Med student, so I’m always thinking about

diseases. I don’t do this kind of thing normally—NEVER!! never

before actually, I don’t know if that matters to you, but it matters

to me, and so I just thought I would share that with you. (Pulling

money out of his pocket and handing it to her.) Look, I’ll just give

you the money and you can put it over there on the dresser, or in

your— (Noticing that she put it in her underwear.) there!—This is

very unlikely for me to be in a place like this,—I’ve actually been

trying to deepen my religious faith lately. I’m a Muslim, you know.

Do you know what that is?…Yes, it’s a type of cloth. What is your

name?—Angel?—Really? (He laughs.) No, no, I’m sorry. I was just

thinking that that’s an ironic name for someone who does what

you do for a living.—What?—No, no, I’m sorry, I’m not a jerk. I’m

sorry that was rude, look I think you’re very attractive. In fact,

that’s even the reason I followed you in here from the street…was

because of the way you look…or at least who you look like. Well,

you see, you look amazingly like this girl Karen who sits next to

me in my Human Anatomy class, and who I cannot stop thinking

about, and earlier this evening I was trying to study for my exam

tomorrow, but I can’t seem to concentrate because I can’t stop

thinking about Karen, and then when I think about Karen all the

time, I think about my parents beating their chests when they

realize I’ve failed all my exams. So I decided to take a walk and

pray for some concentration, and that’s when I saw you, and

you—well, you look exactly like her, and you looked at me, and

you smiled, and so when you started walking I followed you, and

while I was walking up the stairs just now to this little room, I

started thinking to myself that you must be a sign…a sign from

God!! that since I’ll never be with Karen, I could be with you, and

then I could go home and be able to study, and pass my exam

and make my parents proud of me!!! (He suddenly breaks down

into tears.) I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, I think I’ve made a terrible

mistake. You see I just realized that God would never, never lead

me to a place like this. I must be losing my mind. I have to study,

I have to go! I need some sleep! I have to study, I’m really sorry. I

have obviously wasted your time, I’m really sorry but I have to go.

(He leaves, there is a long pause and then he returns.) I think I

should probably just get a refund. I don’t know what your policy

is as far as refunds go. I’m sure that it doesn’t come up very

often.—What?—Uh, thank you, that’s very kind of you—Well I

think you’re very attractive yourself—No, I can’t do that actually,

No I can’t, No I really can’t—Well, because I’m engaged…or at

least “betrothed” which is actually more like…engaged!—She’s

a very nice girl, Sakina!! would you like to see a picture? I have

one,—No of course not, What I’m trying to say is that she really

is the perfect girl for me, comes from a very similar family, same

religion, same tradition, same values, these things are important,

you know. Besides, Karen is just a distraction. I mean, she’s

American. In the long run she would never accept Indian culture,

she would never understand the importance of an Islamic way of

life, she would probably want to have pre-marital sex which is

something that as a Muslim I could never do. I know that that

probably sounds ridiculous under the circumstances, but it’s

true!!! It’s not just a religion you know, it’s a way of life and I have

dedicated my entire spiritual life identity to the complete submission to the will of God. That’s what Islam means. So you see, I

can’t just be running around having sex (He thrust his pelvis forward unconsciously.) like a rabbit (He does it again, with more

vigour.) with every woman I am attracted to (He does it again

repeatedly with real vigour.) It would be SIN!! and that is why I

have to leave. What? What is my name? (He pauses.) AL!—

Really!—OK, OK. It’s not Al the way you are thinking of it, like

short for Alan or Alvin or something. It’s actually the short form

of a very religious name, a name I can’t even say right now, otherwise it would be a sin—I think. I probably don’t even deserve

this name.

(We begin to hear the song “No Ordinary Love.” This plays

throughout the rest of the piece.)

ALI:What are you doing?—no I really don’t think you should

…REMOVE THAT!!! (He hides behind his hands so as not to look

at her but then he slowly looks.) You want me to call you

Karen?…OK!? Karen, Karen, Karen, Karen…

[(She unbuttons his pants and begins to perform oral sex, the

rest of the lines are delivered while he is receiving a blow

job.)]

ALI:Oh, my God, this is not me, this is not my life. Oh, shit!

(Looking down.) I’m sorry, I’m trying not to swear. It’s hard, you

know, to do the right thing, you know.—I’m always asking for

forgiveness, because I believe that God understands and he is forgiving, and he knows how hard it is, to do the right thing all the

time, even when you want to, more than anything else, and if

you fail and you disappoint people, you can just try again, right?

100

And you can have the intention to try again even while you’re

failing…failing! I don’t suppose there is really any chance of me

passing this exam tomorrow. I mean, if I’m going to be punished

for this, and I’m sure I will be, that will probably be the punishment, because when you’re trying to do the right thing and make

people proud of you, Satan wants you to fail. And then you end

up being a huge disappointment. Well, if I’m not going to be a

doctor, I wonder what I will be?—Maybe I will be a bum!—And

Sakina will say, “I can’t marry him, he’s a BUM!!!” (He is getting

quite worked up at this point as he gets closer to orgasm.) And I

will say, “GOOD!!!! BECAUSE THIS BUM WOULDN’T MARRY

YOU WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!” AND HER PARENTS WILL SAY,

“HOW DARE YOU TALK TO OUR DAUGHTER LIKE THAT!!! AND

I WILL SAY I JUST DID! ! AND MY PARENTS WILL SAY, “HOW

DARE YOU TALK TO HER PARENTS LIKE THAT, YOU ARE A GREAT

DISAPPOINTMENT,” AND I WILL SAY, “MOM, DAD EAT (He

orgasms.) SHIIIT!!!!” (He falls to his knees in shock, and slowly as

if almost in slow motion he doubles over on the floor, unconsciously going into the Islamic position of prayer. After a few seconds, he regains his composure and attempts to stand and

button up his pants. Thank you Angel, I mean Kar—…I mean

Angel.

///

AZGI:ABDUL! I need two puri’s on table five! I need two lassi’s on

table six, and this lamb curry is COLD COLD, COLD! Food, Abdul,

is supposed to be HOT, HOT! Not COLD! How come you don’t

seem to understand that????? (Azgi runs to speak to one of his

tables. To first table.) I am very sorry. In all the time that I have

worked in this restaurant, food is NEVER cold, NEVER! He is heating it up right now. I will bring it out in two minutes and you just

keep enjoying your…water. (He moves to the second table.)

Hello, how are you? My name is Azgi, I will be your waiter. How

can I help you? Oh yeah, it is kind of spicy, but we have a scale.

You see, you can order how spicy you would like one, two, three,

four, five. You decide, he’ll make it.—What?—You want number

five? (Azgi is a little concerned.) Sir don’t take number five, take

number two—No, no, number two is better for you, it’s very

good, you’ll like it very much.—Please sir, don’t take number five.

Sir I am trying to save your life OK. (Getting angry.) look, look in

my eyes OK, number two is better for you. OK you think about it

I will come back OK. (He runs upstage again.) ABDUL!—Where is

my lamb curry ????

(The lamb curry seems to have appeared on the line.)

AZGI:A-ha! (He runs over to the first table with the imaginary

lamb curry. It is very hot and burns his hands.) There you go. OK?

piping hot—What happened? Why you look so sad? Not

lamb?—CHICKEN.—Oh my God!—No, no, please sit down.

Where you going? please don’t leave, sit down, I am very sorry,

this is a terrible mistake, I will bring out chicken in just two minutes, please don’t leave, whatever you do don’t leave. (He runs

over to second table.) OK, OK, look I tell you what, number three,

number three is plenty hot, plenty hot. You don’t need number

five. LISTEN MAN!! I AM FROM INDIA!!! and even in India

nobody asks for number five! It’s not a real thing that you can

eat, it’s just for show. I am not screaming, you are screaming!

Look, look, now your wife is crying! I didn’t make her cry, you

made her cry! OK, OK. Fine, Fine, you want five, fifteen, one hundred five!! I give you OK!

ABDUL!—- Listen on dup forty-one, I put number five, but

you don’t make it number five, you make it number two, OK?

And this lamb curry is supposed to be chicken curry—Because I

am telling you, that’s why. Because I am the boss right now OK,

Listen you give me any trouble no, I will have Mr. Hakim fire

you!!!—Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Come on, Come on Abdul (He puts

up his fists.) I will take you right now! I will kick your butt so hard

that you will be making lamb curry for the tigers in India! Oh,

yeah? Come on, Big Guy, come on, Big Guy, come on, Big Guy,

come on—

(Suddenly Azgi is faced with Abdul who grabs him by the collar.)

AZGI:—BIG GUY! I am joking, man. I am just kidding around, why

you take me so seriously?—please don’t kill me. (Turning.) Every

night I have the same dream. I am a giant tandoori chicken wearing an Armani suit. I am sitting behind the wheel of a speeding

Cadillac. I have no eyes to see, no mouth to speak and I don’t

know where I am going. Mr. Hakim, he come up to me, he say,

“Azgi, Azgi, Azgi, you have to calm down, man, he say to me, he

say “Success, Azgi, is like a mountain. From far away it is inspiring, but when you get close, you realize that it is simply made of

earth and dirt and rocks, piled one on top of the other until it

touches the sky.” Mr. Hakim, he is a smart man, but I wonder to

myself when God was building the mountain and piling the rock,

one on top of the other, was he working or playing? (He begins

to ponder this thought, and then suddenly he smiles and goes

over to the first table.) Hello, my name is Azgi…I am working…and playing. (He goes over to the second table.) Hello my

name is Azgi, I am working and playing…how are you ? (He goes

over and looks in the direction of Abdul, and blows him a big

kiss.) ABDUL…I love you man!!!!

(Phone rings, Azgi turns and looks at the audience.)

AZGI:Phone! (He picks up the phone.) Hello, Sakina’s Restaurant

Azgi speaking, how may I—Oh Oh Mr. Hakim? No No He is right

here, I will get him—

Sakina’s Restaur

We decided to watch a called no way home because we kept seeing its ads on youtube. We knew the trailer so well that we could say it word for word. Mark's favorite line was when the lead actor talks about his girlfriend in the movie. Mark would repeat it all the time,

So, we went to the movie theater, hoping to see that scene . But to our disappointment, the lead actor didn't say that line at all. In fact, the whole scene we were waiting for wasn't even in the movie! We left feeling upset

As we left,. We realized we could just go watch another movie without paying again. We felt a little bad, but we had spent a lot on snacks, so we didn't feel too guilty. Plus, we felt like we deserved to watch another movie since no way home let us down.

We ended up watching a movie instead. It was good, and since we hadn't seen any ads for it, we weren't disappointed.

i needed a car , i could rely on public transport

and all i had was 2000$ so i bought a ford car

so after few rides , it started giving problems

the transmission broke..the power steering didnt work

i couldnt find parking on campus..

Is your minivan all fixed?" Larry inquired.

"Yeah, but it cost us a pretty penny," Mark sighed.

"How much did they charge you?" Larry's eyes widened.

"$2500," Mark responded.

"$2500? You've gotta be kidding me! $2500 for a new transmission?" Larry exclaimed.

"A new what?" Mark looked puzzled, glancing at me in the backseat.

"A transmission. An automatic one. That's what you had replaced, right?" Larry clarified.

"Oh, right, yeah, a new transmission," I confirmed.

"Well, it sounds like they're pulling a fast one on you," Larry said as he dialed a number on his phone.

He called someone named Rocko, then his buddy Kurt, both of whom echoed his sentiment that we were getting ripped off. Mark nervously suggested haggling, but I pointed out that we already agreed to the price.

As we pulled into the garage, Larry insisted we stand our ground. "You tell 'em you ain't gonna be taken for a ride," he advised.

larry gets out of the car an goes in and talks to car dealer.

After a few minutes, Larry returned with a grin. "Saved you a few bucks, boys," he announced proudly.

When we settled up, the bill had mysteriously been reduced by $500.

I still don't know what Larry said or did in that office, but his advice and charm saved us some serious cash. Now, we just hoped the new transmission would hold up.

///

There are few things that bring my father as much joy as clearance sales.

It's not so much the food that my dad loves at Denny's—he only knows three flavors anyway: salt, butter, and A-1 Steak Sauce. No, what he adores is the simplicity, the straightforwardness of the entire Denny's experience, especially the menu.

“You don’t even have to read anything,” he’d say. “You look at the pictures of the food, you pick what you want, and you point.” And that’s precisely what he does. We'd settle at a table in Denny's, he'd crack open the menu to a Moons Over My Hammy or whatever caught his fancy, and he'd point. “I want that.” Not a word more, not a word less. It's the perfect restaurant routine.

we bought couch

So, off we went, driving at a snail's pace—twenty miles per hour in a forty-five-mile-per-hour zone. The officer followed my dad quietly for a few miles before my father suddenly pulled over, even though the officer hadn't signaled with lights or sirens. I followed suit.

After the officer wrote us both tickets for having unsafe loads, he warned us not to drive with the furniture again or risk getting more tickets. Stuck on the side of the road, my dad asked if I knew anyone with a truck. That was like asking if I knew anyone at all.

///

You ever have those gym ,PE classes that make you question why you even bother showing up? . Coach McAndrew, bless her heart, she had all the enthusiasm of a cheerleader at a spelling bee.

Coach blowing her whistle like it's her only source of oxygen. "Forward rolls, backward somersaults, cartwheels, repeat!" she says, as if we're all Olympic gymnasts in the making.

How am I supposed to learn by watching them? It’s like telling someone to learn how to swim by watching a fish.

I muster up the courage to approach Coach. "Excuse me, I don’t know how to do any of those things. Can I please go to the library?" I ask, hoping she'd see reason. But nope, she hits me with the classic "No pain, no gain" line, like she's trying to motivate a sack of potatoes.

So, there I am, at the back of the line, watching these kids effortlessly roll, somersault, and cartwheel like it's second nature.

Finally, it's my turn. I kneel down, put the top of my head on the mat, and just pray for a miracle. But all I manage to do is roll sideways off the mat—splat—onto the wooden gym floor.

All pain, no gain, and a side of humiliation. Can't wait for next week's adventure in awkwardness.

This is America? I’m fucking in! Big Pimpin’ was the epitome of the American dream and I needed to be part of it. I wanted to be like these larger-than-life American superheroes they called rappers. I wanted to be a pimp like Jay-Z and a gangster like 50 Cent. I made it my life’s goal to live the Big Pimpin’ lifestyle. Whenever I watched BET, I forgot I was a small foreign Chinese boy and I felt like a badass gangsta. I started imitating how the rappers walked and how they talked. I would go up to my classmates and say, “Yo what up, dog. Our geometry teacher is a bitch, homie.” I felt like my identity was being judged based on the other Asians around me instead of my own personality, my inside voice screamed, I listen to Jay-Z, motherfuckers! In high school,

thong thong thong thong thong!” This was one of the first songs I heard on American radio. It was catchy as hell, but I had no idea what a thong was. Then when I saw the music video, everything made sense.

I couldn’t rap for shit, but I wanted so badly to be part of the glamorous rap game that I’d seen on Rap City. Chris downloaded a bootleg copy of Sony’s ACID Music Studio, a beat-making software, and he started cranking out some sick beats. Then Jeremy, Phil and I would go to Chris’s mom’s apartment and record our raps on his five-dollar computer microphone. Next thing you know, we’d formed a rap group just like N.W.A. Chris’s mom’s apartment and his Dell desktop became our recording studio. We felt like the real deal and we called ourselves Syndakit. The first time I recorded at Chris’s house, he played me a beat he had just made. It sounded like a real track I’d heard on Rap City. I pulled out my notebook and I was ready to write my first rhymes, but I

I never got a record deal, but I experienced creative freedom for the first time

////

offer to buy one and get the other for half price , my father was first in line.

his ability to consume knew no bounds.his favorite was chocolate pean with extra sprinkles

when i orderd plan old chocolate icecream , he took it as an insult

they have thirty two flavors andu order chocaloate

u can get chocolate anywhere , why did we come to america

we didnt sacrifice everything come to here so u could be satisfied with plain old chocolate ice cream

i just want medium soda

get the large

u get extra large for thirty nine cents more

America was Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory and he was a ten-year-old who had won a golden ticket.

Let me tell you what is really embarrassing,” he continued. “Having only one pair of shoes, that’s embarrassing. Having to study for your exams under a street lamp because you don’t have your own room, that’s embarrassing. Hanging off the side of a train on your way to work because it’s so crowded and you can’t afford a seat, that’s embarrassing.”

Yellow highlight | Page: 57

“When will you become an American?” he continued. “Okay, pour the extra thirty-nine cents-worth into a cup and I will drink it later.”

///

I saw a job posting in the college newspaper for telemarketer and decided to interview for it. The college building was squeezed between a sandwich place and a bookstore. The guy interviewing me looked a bit like Paul Giamatti from "Billions," but there were definitely no billions to be made here.

During the interview, he asked simple questions like who had used a computer before and who knew how to use a phone, how to type basic english. I got hired and was given a script to follow.

I got hired and was given a script to follow. My job was to keep people/alumni on the line and chat about how great the university was still doing.

I was supposed to ask alumni like Milli for a hundred bucks to support the college.

but milli response was "Oh, I'm sorry, hun. I'm barely scraping by on a fixed income. I'd love to help, really, but a hundred dollars? not happening."

So, I lowered the amount to fifty dollars, but still got a no. Then I tried twenty dollars, and she agreed to make the donation.

After working for an hour, a bell rang for a break. The boss, stood on a chair and called out how much money everyone had brought in. He gave cookies to the top three earners.

Overall, it was an interesting experience, but I only worked there for a few weeks before my semester started, and I quit the telemarketing job.

“BE CAREFUL!” my roommate WILLIAM TOLD ME . “I am being careful!” I said, grabbing the dvd from him and totally not being careful.It wasn't contraband or illicit substances..it was dance dvd.. I was staring at it in awe, my heart pounding like crazy.

cuoristy got the better of me and I put the dvd in my vcr. And What unfolded on the screen was unlike anything I’d ever saw.

and what captivated me even more was drummer in the corner setting the rhythm and this guy was dancing to the beat in rhythm…it was beautiful…

soon i was playing drums…

coach andrew, transmission,affleck movie,

, clearance sales-denny's,

/////

I needed a job. Scanning through the student paper, I found an opening in the computer lab. It seemed perfect, except for the minor detail that I knew next to nothing about computers. All I knew was that if something goes wrong, you should reboot the computer. Sure, I could switch a computer on, but i knew nothing about coding, programming, troubleshooting.

I interviewed with this quiet guy who wore glasses, named Dominick. He wore a buttoned-up shirt, light brown khakis, and Nike running sneakers. "Hi, Kunal, nice to meet you,” he said, in a soft, high-pitched voice. “I am looking for some people to be computer lab managers. What are your skills?”

“Troubleshooting, programming, Excel, PowerPoint,” I said.

“Can you give me more details?”

"Sure, I've read courses online, fixed bugs on my computer, and developed applications."

"I like you. I’m going to hire you,” he said as we shook hands. Bingo! “Given your advanced skill set, I’m going to give you a very special project.”

He turned to the computer and opened up a software program I had never seen. “The school is trying to integrate this new voice recognition software. I want you to figure it out, dissect it, and write an entire instruction manual based on what you’ve learned.”

So three days a week, four hours each shift, my job was to sit at the computer and try to figure out voice recognition software. The first day I took the job very seriously. I spoke into the microphone and compared what I said to the words that appeared on the screen: “The cat drank the cow’s milk,” I said. On-screen: "You drank the milk." I said it slowly again… "You drank the milk" again… I basically gave up on the project after a few days, and each shift I would spend fifteen minutes on voice recognition, and then would spend the rest of my time chatting.

The week passed, the instruction manual was due and it was time to face the music. I decided to write something… click the L button… etc.

“I just got an email from the university. I have some troubling news.” Shit. My scholarships. Dominick took off his glasses. “The school has decided to put a stop to the software. The license has expired.”

I said, “Whatever’s best for the university."

“Because of your hard work and commitment to this project, I’m going to promote you to lab manager of the engineering building.” He gave me a raise, bumping me up to nine dollars an hour, which was damn good money at the time. I was a good lab manager.

/////

After finishing college, I got a job as a waiter in a restaurant. But I also had to wash dishes.

Sadly, I wasn't very good at it. I was slow.

The restaurant needed clean dishes to keep running. So, even though I was slow, I had to keep going.

The owner would tell me to just keep washing.

He often came over to me at the sink, shaking his head and yelling.

He'd say, "Wash the pots first! Why are you washing the plates? We have lots of plates!"

When he got really frustrated, he'd grab the spray nozzle from me and

quickly clean a bunch of pots in just a few minutes.

I got a job as used car salesman.

Apparently, you need zero qualifications to become a used-car salesman."

The car lot manager, Larry, was a sixty-year-old car salesman and a alcoholic. I wouldnt see him for days and then he would come and sell ten Dodge Neons in a week.

I looked up to him as a top-notch car pusher.

I learnt car sales from Larry and soon i became good that i could afford HomeTown Buffet once a week.

and i know one day, if i worked hard and I'd be able to afford Red Lobster.

////

It's been three days since I lost the pool key, and now my mom is mad at me. It feels like she has a superpower that keeps her angry without a break whenever I mess up, which is why I try my best to never do anything wrong.

It's like there's a flashing neon sign on my forehead: "HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING KID WHO LOST THE POOL KEY. $50 DOWN THE DRAIN!"

I try to explain to her that Cindy and I put up twenty flyers all over, and I understand that fifty dollars is equivalent to three hundred and fifty tomans in Iran, which is a lot of money to flush down the toilet. That's what it'll feel like if we have to pay the landlady.

"Why don't you check the clothes dryer and all your pockets?" my dad suggests, im filled with hope. I search through all my clothes, inspecting the washer and dryer, even go through the vacuum cleaner bag. I c heck between the sofa cushions and manage to find twelve cents.

But still, no pool key. The following day, my dad suggests praying to Saint Anthony, claiming it always works. "Saint Anthony, you mean?" I ask.

My mom , suggests we ask Saint Anthony to come over and look for the key instead. "He's a saint, so he's been dead for a long time," I tell her. "If you think a dead man is going to help you find the key, good luck," she retorts.

but I decide to pray, and, my prayers are answered when a neighbor finds the key gives it to the apartment office.

communication is the key. That's the key to a relationship. That's how you build intimacy, through communication. It's very important to talk and listen to your partner so you can both grow as a unit.

but It's just talking and talking and talking. And I was listening to every word 'cause I thought, you know, there was a point. But there's no point. I should've hired an AI for her to talk to. 'Cause there were so many things I just didn't care about. "Should I move this couch or get a new one? I don't know what to do with this room. What do you think?"

It was a psychotic, babbling conveyor belt of nonsense. "I went to get my nails done, but they didn't have the polish I want.

One of the differences was, I learned this from her, raised to ask questions. You have to ask questions like, "Why? How come? How much? That much? Why should I spend that much?" And, , we don't want to ask questions 'cause we don't want any information. "Look, I didn't see nothin', I don't know nothin'.

" So the questions started driving me crazy. It was like falling asleep with a Spanish radio station on.

Why do you think we possess some mysterious knowledge we're keeping from you? We go to see a movie, she's like, "Now, who's that guy?" "Did I write this thing? I came in with you. How the hell do I know who that guy is? What do you want me to do, show up early?

So she leaves, right? It's all over.

I'm sitting in my room for two weeks straight. my roommate says

They don't want you to talk to them. They don't want you to listen to them. They want you to agree with them. And if you don't agree with them, they just keep talking and talking and talking until you do. and then they will say I'm glad we talked about it.'"

//////

When I was a kid, I had this bright yellow Yamaha YZ80 dirt bike. It was super fast, and I loved riding it around. But my mom hated it.

"Josep, you ride that thing, and I swear to God you’re going to die!" she'd yell at me. And I'd be like, "Mom, it's fine. I'm totally safe." But she wasn't having it.

"What, do you want to die? Is that it? Ha?" she'd say. And I'd respond, "No, Mom, I don't want to die." But then she'd hit me with, "Or maybe you want to kill me from worrying. Yes, that’s it—you want to kill me." And I'd just stand there like, "No, Mom, I don’t want to kill you."

But she wasn't done. "No, no, maybe it’s better if I die anyway. I go to heaven, at least I don’t have to worry anymore. Go ahead, keep riding the motorcycle." And I'd be like, "Fine. Fine! I won’t ride the motorcycle anymore!" But let's be real, I kept riding that motorcycle.

One time, a cop caught me riding the bike without headlights. He was really mad and told me to leave the bike and get in his car. I thought I was in big trouble, preparing myself for the worst—prison, electric chair, death by firing squad—whatever it was. I'm practically begging to go to jail at this point, but no dice.he took me home.

When we got to my house, my mom was freaking out because she thought I was missing. She was yelling at my sisters, too. The cop could hear everything, but he didn't seem to care. He walked me up to the door, and my mom answered, acting all polite.

But as soon as she saw me, she flipped out. She dragged me inside and slammed the door in the cop's face. That was the only time my mom ever hit me, but it wasn't physical. It was all the yelling and arguing that really hurt.

clearance sales-denny's

coach andrew

tranmission

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theclo4ked1 · 8 months ago

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Heeyyy, it's been a looong time... *checks date* Again. It's been almost a month since I last put something on this blog. I've been really busy. being dead. And I haven't been playing Portal 2. But I have been playing a lot of the classic Sonic games via the Mega Collection, the absolutely incredible compilation disc. I think it tops Sonic Origins (which I haven't played). I feel like the comics and older illustrations, commercials, and Ristar (pronounced "Rye-star" or "Wrist-ar"? Or "Ree-star"?) win me over. And also, from what I've heard and observed, there wasn't as much love and care put into it, so the overall quality experience is hindered because

Money money money Is all you need

( Did you know ALL models of the PS3 can play PSX discs? I've been playing my newly acquired PaRappa the Rapper, too. I now own the trilogy. Only UmJammer Lammy is digital. I bought PaRappa 2 physically at my first gaming convention back in 2018, only to find out later my wife can't use PS2 discs. Big sad. You might saying "why don'tcha just jailbreak it?" I wouldn't, but even if I wanted to, I don't have the correct model. It's been so many years anyways, I wouldn't have her any other way :3 )

AND. It was with this compilation that--after all these years--that I finally achieved: 1) Beating Sonic 3D Blast (with the emeralds) 2) Beating the first level of Sonic Spinball (I've recommend some guy on YouTube having also done this, so good for him) These may not mean a lot to you, but to me? Man. And y'know what? I actually enjoyed my time with 3D Blast. It was a...unique game. I really like seeing all the sights and how the game progressed after Green Grove. After Rusty Ruin, I noticed Tails' and Knuckles' locations became way less hidden. Rusty Ruin Act 2, I think it was, had THE BEST hidden location, for Tails it might have been. No, scratch that--the whole ZONE has the best locations, you really have to go out of your way for them. What's that? ... Where did I find him? Pssh, I'm not telling you, play the game and use your brain. Just don't spin yourself around too much tryna find him. Anyways, I've been busy doing things. I've been developing a under-HTML-construction digital portfolio of almost all the art I've posted on Tumblr since uuuhm late 2020. You can find it through the link below: > the link < I'm beginning to have second thought about this one, too, so don't expect me to keep it for too long. Parallel to that, I've been trying animation again. Look guys look it is my greatest achievement: wario land 4 for the gameboi advanced. incrredible incrrrEedible- look guys look

Sigh...y'know, getting guud learning basic anatomy and figure drawing can spark an improved journey... This isn't the "true animation". What I mean is each of the original drawings were MUCH larger than my Flash Document canvas (1440x1080), so by compressing everything into a Graphic symbol, I was able to minimize all the frames at once to fit. It took a few tries to work, so I had to be conscientious as to not save over the "uncompressed" drawings. k cya l8r

#flash animation #short animation #parappa the rapper

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dynamite-derek · 10 months ago

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Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories does not get enough love

When hearing people talk about the first few Kingdom Hearts games, there is often a feeling of annoyance that they need to play Chain of Memories in order to fully understand and appreciate Kingdom Hearts 2. I've seen a lot of people suggest looking up youtube videos of Chain of Memories runs as a sort of replacement for experiencing the story.

This is baffling to me. Chain of Memories is not some black sheep game that ruins the reputation of the franchise. You want a game that actively hurts a franchise by existing? Go look up Lunar Dragon Song and then cry yourself to sleep because you just looked up footage of Lunar Dragon Song.

For reference, Chain of Memories is the true ‘second’ Kingdom Hearts title despite lacking the number 2. It bridges the gap between the closing moments of the original game and the opening bits of Kingdom Hearts 2. It’s an important piece to the franchise’s narrative. For a lot of people, the story of 2 is confusing because they skipped over Chain of Memories. This is an important game a lot of people like to downplay the importance of.

I would like to blame the PS2 remake of Chain of Memories, RE:Chain of Memories, for this perception because it took a 2D game and converted it to 3D without thinking too much about it beyond the presentation. It doesn't help that this is the most easily accessible version of the game, considering it has been ported several times as part of the Kingdom Hearts 1.5 HD collection. If we're just talking about that game, yeah, it does feel like kind of a slog. But it's not the end of the story, it should not be the only version of the game people remember or talk about. The original version, released on the Gameboy Advance, should receive some love.

For those unfamiliar, the gameplay of Chain of Memories is a bit of a departure from the original Kingdom Hearts. This is likely due to system limitations. It would be really hard to make a game that plays like Kingdom Hearts on a system with two face buttons and graphical fidelity closer to a SNES than a Playstation 2. Your skill set is completely tied to a deck of cards. You can't just swing a keyblade, you have to have a keyblade card. Cards come numbered 0-9 with higher number cards cancelling out lower number cards - though the number 0 cancels out everything. So if Sora uses a card with a number of 6 and an enemy uses a card with a number of 7, Sora's attack will be cancelled out and the enemy's attack will take priority.

You also have a card point system for deck building. All of your cards are given point values related to how strong they are. So let's say your card point system cap is 100 - you need to make a deck to fight that works within those constraints. So you have to ask yourself such questions like "Would I rather have a few hard hitting cards? Or do I want more attack options that might be a bit weaker and easier to break?" You also have to think about magic and item cards, so just blindly slapping together a deck full of a bunch of cards with the number "9" on them probably won't get you very far. You need to think.

As you level up, your card points increase and you can build larger decks. You can also learn special moves that involve combining cards in order to use special attacks, or sleights. So deck building evolves from being "do I want fewer strong cards or more weak cards?" to "how can I make a balanced deck that lets me hit hard and use all these techniques I have?" It leads to a surprising amount of strategy in combat, particularly in boss battles. What if a boss uses a lot of sleights against you? Combining cards will give you a large number, naturally, so the natural counter to that would be to use a lot of cards with a value of 0. Remember, cards with 0 cancel everything out. So on an initial playthrough, a lot of boss fights will involve studying how your opponent uses cards and finding a strategy that works against how they act.

Using sleights yourself makes you lose the first card you sacrifice for that combination, so you have to build your decks with that limitation in mind. You have a spell called super flare that involves using the summon Mushu and two fire cards. When you use it, you will always lose a Mushu card. So do you want to be able to use super flare multiple times and carry multiple Mushus (expensive cards that can take over 30 card points to assign to your deck)? Or would you rather find alternate abilities to use? It's a deep and confusing sounding system, but once you actually get your hands on it, it makes sense and I would compare it to a more traditional deck building game like the Pokemon Trading Card Game. You just have to think a little.

I mentioned boss battles briefly and what makes them so interesting in this game is that the bosses have the same restrictions you do. When they use sleights, they lose a card. They have to reload their decks when they run out of cards. They can counter you just like you can counter them. It feels like a duel against another person instead of a fight against a computer opponent that has advantages not available to the player.

When you finish the game, you unlock a mode where you play through the game again as Riku. Instead of just being the same deck building experience, it's something else entirely - you cannot edit your deck at all. It's an exercise on how well you can adapt to fights with a premade deck. There are some levels where you have like six cards to work with and you have to figure it out for yourself - the mechanic can almost make certain fights feel like puzzles. You can legitimately run out of attack options if you use too many sleights, so you have to really think about what you do. It's an interesting twist from the standard formula and I actually find it preferable to the main mode of play because it's a test of your ability to adapt.

Now it's time to activate my inner crotchety old man. Part of the appeal of SquareSoft/Square Enix games on the PS2 was how cutting edge they looked for their platform. When you got to a cutscene in Final Fantasy X it legitimately felt like you were living in the far flung future. In modern times, cutscenes kinda just look like normal gameplay scenes most of the time, so they don't feel as special. If you can believe it, they were able to replicate this feeling on the GameBoy Advance.

Square included a couple of prerendered cutscenes into the mix that play at certain times. Yes, what shows up is nowhere near as visually impressive as what you would get on a PS2, but on a smaller screen it looked close enough and it felt like sorcery seeing your little GBA screen pull off what appeared to be PS2-caliber graphics. Yeah, it's a trick because the Gameboy Advance isn't actually rendering this stuff and it's just a little compressed video, but this trickery went a long way and totally blew my mind. Also, the full version of Simple and Clean plays over the end credits. No midi junk, it feels like the same thing. It's hard to express this to people who weren't there to experience it, but the experience on a handheld felt magical.

This is just lost in the transition to 3D. Everything looks the same kind of good. It's not some magical little game from the future, it's just a budget PS2 game designed to explain to people just who the hell Namine is.

Now something that isn't console dependent is the game's story. You would think that the weird handheld game released on a different console than the main series would have a throw away filler story that wasn't important to the overall plot of the franchise but you would be dead wrong. Chain of Memories started the tradition of "if we release a game, it matters." It persists to this day because there are scenes in Kingdom Hearts 3 that don't make much sense unless you've spent time with the mobile games. It can be kind of annoying if you don't like the type of game you're supposed to play, but I think it tells the player that 'nothing we put out is half baked, it all means something.' Nothing feels like filler, even though it very easily could.

I think the story told is really interesting and the way it details Sora slowly losing his memories is fairly well done. At some point Sora just stops talking about Kairi and all mentions of her are replaced by Namine to the point that he becomes obsessed. It starts out really slowly but eventually Sora's dialogue becomes extremely focused on this character the player had never heard of before. It's just a really interesting bit of characterization. Also, it explains why the hell he is in some alien pod at the start of Kingdom Hearts 2.

It also does a very good job of characterizing the members of Organization XIII that appear here. In Kingdom Hearts 2, I don't feel like the highlighted organization members get that much time to unveil their personalities. There's a little of it, but what can you tell me about Demyx's actual personality beyond DANCE WATER DANCE? In Chain of Memories, I feel like Larxene, Vexen, Marluxia and Axel all get developed quite well. They feel like real characters, to the point that before the organization members were expanded on in later games, I preferred the CoM characters because they all seemed really interesting. I was sad Larxene wasn't in II because she was a lot more interesting than Xigbar (please note these are the early days of the franchise) or Demyx or Luxord.

Truth be told though, the Sora portion of this story is easy enough to understand via context clues, but the Riku part of the story is very crucial to his character. It's an interesting look into how he views darkness as a necessity and not as an evil - it makes his struggles with darkness in 2 a little more interesting. I think CoM fleshes out Riku considerably and turns him into the most interesting character in the franchise. He isn't pure of heart like Sora, he isn't some warrior of darkness either. He's somewhere in between and this game does a good job of portraying him as such. Skipping this game means missing out on the best character work for the best character in the franchise.

Now, I'm not going to tell you everything about this game is perfect. The 'Disney' stories in each level are totally nothing. They are generally complete retreads of what happens in Kingdom Hearts 1 and given that you visit some of these levels again in Kingdom Hearts 2, it can get real aggravating seeing the story beats for something like Atlantica play out again. I also feel that some of the levels later on really drag out. It's especially painful in the PS2 version because of how much longer it takes to navigate rooms, but even in the GBA version later levels are really long and can feel a bit like padding. Mid game level length feels appropriate but by the end I kept tapping my foot waiting to move things along.

I also very much despise the Hundred Acre Wood level here. It's a boring chore of guiding Pooh through a straight line. I already don't like the Hundred Acre Woods levels in the main game and I find GBA CoM's take on it even worse. Seriously if I could hire someone to do Hundred Acre Woods segment for me in Kingdom Hearts games, I would. I think 3 had the right of it by making the world like 10 minutes long.

But don't let these flaws stop you. I think the lack of love for Chain of Memories comes from the version most people are exposed to - the PS2 version. Give the GBA game a chance, put yourself in the mind frame of someone playing a handheld console from that era and see how you feel. At the very least, you might be able to appreciate what it was going for a little more. Hell, you might even be like me and consider it a diamond in the rough.

Oh also Axel says hell in this one, which makes it the most adult and therefore best Kingdom Hearts game. Duh. And did you know that Axel's catchphrase of 'got it memorized' wasn't fully figured out yet and he says 'commit it to memory' here instead? Well I just think that's neat.

#Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories #Gameboy advance #square #rpgs #retro #card battle #video games #vidya #vidya thoughts

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chase-omega · 11 months ago

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The Mana series is one of those franchises that I simply cannot understand why everyone loves. I tried a couple Mana games. Both experiences were terrible.

Started with the OG on the SNES. Terrible camera, the screen would not move until my character was on the actual literal edge of the screen. Literally unplayable, gave up very early on. I like to actually see where I am going.

Then I tried another one. A remake of the Gameboy game. Cuz maybe a later installment in the franchise would be more polished, right? Nope.

In THAT one, you use pickaxes to break rocks to continue the adventure. Each rock breaks a pickaxe. That's fine though. But at a point very late into the game, after a few really badly designed puzzles, I hit a point where I break a rock, proceed, find another rock, but I'm out of pickaxes.

I try to go back and leave the area to buy more pickaxes. The rock I previously broken has respawned, and I had already saved. I am trapped between two rocks, I cannot leave the area, there is no fast travel back to town, dying will not spawn me back at the start of the area, enemies nearby do not drop pickaxes, I cannot reload any saves, I have tried anything, I am hard stuck there and must delete my save file to attempt to continue.

One, that is not the fault of the player. And two, even if it was, that still shouldn't even be POSSIBLE to do! Three, it's even worse because I was genuenly enjoying the game up until that point despite some of it's awful puzzles, so the dissapointment and rage hit me even harder.

Never touched the game again, and swore off the Mana series forever. The Mana series is riddled with game-RUINING issues, and for some reason gamers lose their shit over these games. Why?

Do people just love bad games now? I get everyone has their opinion, and they're justified and entitled to it. But… where are your STANDARDS anymore?

#mana #secret of mana #video games #RPG

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spiteless-xo · 2 years ago

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If it turns out that Mikasa is the self insert character in TBAW I’m gonna have to stop reading. I love it but it doesn’t make sense how it can be self insert and a stand in of an already established character at the same time.

I totally agree with you, that doesn't make sense! And that's not what I did with TBAS or what I'm doing with TBAW, but I understand the confusion.

Long response hidden under the cut, also spoilers for the GameBoy Game: Pokemon Red and the GameBoy Advance Games: Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal

I admit that I probably messed up by intertwining TBAS and TBAW universes because it's causing confusion, but at the time I thought it was a brilliant idea lol

When I wrote TBAS, I didn't model the Reader after Pieck. Any similarities are purely coincidental.

Same with TBAW, I'm not modeling the Reader after Mikasa/Historia/Hitch/any other intentionally absent female AOT character.

Like I said in a previous Ask, I just thought it would be cool to have the TBAS Reader pop in TBAW to cause some drama. It was supposed to be a fun little cameo/easter-egg, not some big reveal like "The Reader in TBAS was actually Pieck the whole time".

The TBAS Reader being Pieck in TBAW isn't my sneaky way of getting people to read a Pieck/Porco fic disguised as a self-insert lol and same with TBAW, this is not some secret plan to get people to read a JK/EM fic. If I wanted the main character to be Mikasa or whoever, I would have just written it like that.

The Reader in both stories is modeled after... me, kind of.

If you consider that to be not a self-insert, then I understand your perspective, but I disagree.

I think it would be challenging to write a multi-chapter story without giving the Reader a personality, so she has to have some thoughts/feelings/motivations and those are based on me and my experiences in similar situations.

It's different in one-shots or drabbles where the Reader is essentially a mannequin for the Character to interact with, but in a multi-chapter story, the Reader needs to have some dimension.

The only example I can think of this happening in other popular media is Pokemon Red and Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal.

In Pokemon Red, you play as a character that you can name whatever you want. Catch all the Pokemon, get all the badges, etc. etc.

In Pokemon Gold/Silver/Crystal, same thing, you can play as a character that you can name whatever you want. Catch all the Pokemon, etc. etc.

HOWEVER! The final boss at the end of the game is a silent character named RED. Their team is composed of all of the starters from Pokemon Red plus a few other "key Pokemon" that you pick up along the way.

It's supposed to be just a fun previous player-character cameo in the sequel. There are lots of other examples on the TV Tropes page that you can read about (but warning, there are a LOT of spoilers).

TLDR: It's not my intention to "trick" people into reading an Established Character fic disguised as a Self-Insert fic. I fully understand the misunderstanding and I apologize for any confusion I have caused.

I hope this clears things up! But like I said in another Ask, to completely eliminate confusion, just try to read TBAW and TBAS to two separate, stand-alone stories. It won't ruin your experience at all.

#tiff.ask #tbaw.fic

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moccahobi · 2 years ago

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HEY YOU! YES YOU! DO YOU LIKE STORIES OF GROWTH AND CHANGE? Do you like seeing two characters growing apart all while wishing that they'd finally start warming up to each other? Hoping they will be together at some point?

This series is perfect for that!

In this fic we mostly get Chaeyoung's perspective of life. Her brother and Hoseok his best friend and her want to be included. I really loved how subtly tension is added and some of it is stuff that even Chaeyoung doesn't even realize. It was tense and angstfull and I am just rooting for Chaeyoung to have the best life!

The ways (kid) Hoseok is so snarky and poor Chaeyoung doesn't realize fully??? Amazing! Angsty. I was yelling at Hoseok so much in this fic. It's amazing. Chaeyoung seems like such a gem and I can't wait to keep reading about her!

My live reaction is below the read more

What a cool opening! I like how you set up Chaeyoung and Chanyeol's relationship as siblings.

Oh! Interesting how Chaeyoung's admiration shifts to Hoseok. I love how you describe it. It's quite an interesting flow!

I AGREE CHAEYOUNG! Being forced to go to Chanyeol's sports day when he didn't have to isn't fair!

Jiwoo being an angel is such a mood. She's beautiful. I am a Jung simp.

Awwe. Poor Chaeyoung. It is so interesting to read how Chanyeol is their parents favorite child and see how Chaeyoung has internalized those thoughts! Love how you're giving us this information!

Oh no! A broken Gameboy. What a good little bit of conflict to throw in! Love how it slowly adds some tension between them!

Awwe. Chaeyoung being replaced by hoseok so quickly. 🥺🥺🥺

Awwe. It's quite sad to see how attached Chaeyoung is to her identify as Chanyeol's sister.

HOSEOK NO HOSEOK BAD BAD DONT BE MEAN

Awwe. Her mom. 😭😭😭😭

CALL ME IF YOU NEED ME?!? HOW SAD N SWEET!

Oof. You're so good at writing the loss of a mother. I'm crying! 😭😭😭

HOSEOK ÒWÓ DONT BE AN ASS

"Aren't you glad your dad's happy?" 😭😭😭😭😭😭 RIP MY HEART OUT WON'T YOU

Awwe. Hoseok leaving. 🥺 How sad for her.

Oh! I love the transition! How Chaeyoung slowly is learning to take control of her life more and more.

HOSEOK BEING AN ASSHOLE!?!? AGAIN!?!? SMH

CHANYEOL!!!!! SO MEAN! 😭

GOOD MOVE ON! SMH REPLACE THE PHOTO! ÒWÓ

😭😭😭 More crying!!!

Oooof. Hoseok being so uncomfortable. And her being so uncomfortable. 🥺🥺🥺 How tense of a scene!

Oh no... Oh no... "Happy couple"... Oh no

TALKING ABT CHAEYOUNG BEING HOT NOOOO SHES A KID!

HOSEOK!!!! NO! BAD!

Hoseok just ruined a perfectly subpar apology! CHAEYOUNG LITERALLY SAID SHE WAS SORRY ABT HER ACTIONS BEFORE. YOU'RE JUS A TEENAGE ASSHOLE

The only time she'd seen his smile? 😭

OHHH! SEOUL! EXCITING!

GOOD! BE UNSETTLED!

DoEs ChANyEoL kNoW??? Viebcowbdohcbe ur so awkward Hoseok

OMG IS THAT IT?!?! IRNCOQNFOSNDJ OMG! WHAT A HOOK!

Double Take (Hoseok x OC)

Summary: Years after telling the neighbourhood brat to get a life, Hoseok does a double take when he realises she’s no longer the skinny kid who worshipped him once upon a time.

Pairing: Hoseok x OC

Genre: Angst, unrequited love

Word count: 11.7 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Parental death, heartbreak, allusions to sex, mentions of alcohol

A/N: It's finally here! I've been waiting so long to finally put this on paper and to get Hobi's storyline up and running. Hope you enjoy one of my favourite OCs and her story. Since this is more of a prologue than anything else, it can be read standalone.

Tagging: @bbl32, @quarter-life-crisis2, @meirkive, @dreaming-with-happiness, @kflixnet (drop a message if you want to be added)

Listen to: “you can't hurry love” by phil collins

hoseok masterlist | main masterlist

When Chaeyoung was a girl, the best person she knew was her older brother. Chanyeol was everything; he was smart, he was kind, he was fun and popular, he was one of the best tennis players in the school and didn’t so much as have a spat with anybody his entire life. He was perfect; in fact, if there was one weakness he had, it was his little sister.

Chaeyoung worshipped him. He was her protector, her best friend, her role model. Every time her parents told her to be more like Chanyeol, it annoyed her only to an extent because why wouldn’t all parents want their kids to be like Chanyeol? He was perfect. From birth to present day, Kang Chanyeol was perfect.

The shift was subtle but crept up on her quickly. Sometime around the time when Chaeyoung was in her last years of elementary school, her mind began to expand. She observed more, listened more, and even started to question herself, but it wasn’t until the middle school sports day that year that it hit her: if there was one person in the world who was cooler than her older brother, it was his best friend, Hoseok.

She would never forget that day. She’d been dragged along by her father and the Jungs to watch the middle-schoolers partake in various sports. She hadn’t been in a good mood; Chanyeol hadn’t been forced to come to her sports day because he had school, and enforcing the reverse had felt grossly unfair. Still, she’d huffed and silently watched the taller kids run around, begrudgingly cheered for her brother when he’d won his tennis trophy, and even taken pictures of various combinations of their family and friends.

By the afternoon, Chaeyoung was becoming tired and cranky. At six years old, she felt ridiculous sitting among adults all day while the other kids hung around with their friends. The day couldn’t end fast enough and when it was finally only the two hundred metre race that was left, she’d breathed a sigh of relief. All her irritation went out the window once the race began, however, and she’d found herself unexpectedly engaged in how close it was. When it ended with Jung Hoseok running through the ribbon, sweaty and victorious, it was like she was seeing a whole different person.

Chaeyoung had known Hoseok for what felt like her entire life. His family had moved to their street when she’d been five, a little over a year after her mother had died. There was the older sister; she looked like an angel the first time Chaeyoung saw her, descending the porch staircase to jog down to catch the school bus. There were the parents who were welcomed to the neighbourhood by her own father who was gardening while a loading truck was parked by their house.

“Chaeyoung! Come and say hello!”

She’d been startled, for she’d been waiting for her own school bus when her father called, but she’d walked over with the confidence of a five year old anyway - when she’d noticed him. A young boy, no older than her brother, was standing silently by his mother’s leg, but with a bright smile on his face. He was scrawny, and slighter than Chanyeol, but seemed taller. Chaeyoung was still staring at him when her brother joined them and when both boys ran into the back of the loading truck at Hoseok’s father’s request, Chaeyoung followed without a second thought.

“Is this yours?” Chanyeol had been asking Hoseok, a gameboy in his hand. Hoseok nodded, the same smile appearing on his face again.

“I got it for my birthday this year,” he’d volunteered almost apologetically, as though needing to provide an explanation for why he had it.

“Cool,” said Chanyeol, sounding impressed. “I just got one, too. For doing well on my exams.” He’d turned the video game in his hands. “Is this the X400? It’s supposed to have Level 12 of the Alien Invasion version…”

Chaeyoung had been watching Hoseok, how his eyes shone as he talked about his video game, how easily her brother had made a new friend. Most importantly, she’d recalled the moment Chanyeol had received the aforementioned gameboy - and how she’d received nothing, because her report card hadn’t been as good as his. She’d gone to bed angry and in tears that night, until her brother had sneaked into her room with his brand new present after everyone had gone to sleep and let her play with it until she’d had her fill.

But this was not the time to dwell on that. There was not a chance in hell that she would be left out of the group because of a gameboy, or lack thereof, and she’d needed to cement the first impression before that happened. So, without thinking about it, Chaeyoung had skipped forward and snatched the gameboy right out of her brother’s hands.

“I’m really good at Alien Invasion, too,” she’d begun to say, interrupting the conversation and starting Chanyeol. Hoseok had broken off mid-word and was staring at her, which made her lose focus for a moment, and somewhere in the commotion, the gameboy fell to the ground and broke in two.

“No!” Hoseok’s face had dropped and he’d rushed to her feet to pick it up, frantically picking up both pieces and turning them around in his hands. “What - what did you do?”

“I’m - I’m sorry,” she’d murmured, suddenly feeling very small and short between the boys as her brother stepped closer to Hoseok, calmly taking the smaller piece and looking for where to fix it. Chaeyoung had stood there, motionless, while Chanyeol calmly figured out how to slide the loose piece back on the game.

“There,” he said after a moment, shaking it gently to see if it was fixed. “I think it’s okay.”

Hoseok’s face had been white as a sheet as he confirmed it, pressing one of the buttons and swallowing thickly as she screen lit up. “Yeah,” he said finally. He’d looked up at Chanyeol, eyes wide and grateful. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem.” Her brother had then looked down at her and tilted his head. “Chae, you want to say sorry?”

She already had, but at that moment, Chaeyoung had obeyed him. “Oh - um, sorry.”

Hoseok had glared at her suspiciously. “It’s really expensive,” he’d blurted, his voice a little wobbly.

“I - I know. It was an accident.”

He’d looked like he wanted to say more, but her father’s voice had floated over to them then, informing them that their school bus had arrived. Both boys, as though they’d been doing it every day of their lives, walked out together like the cool, older nine year olds they were and Chaeyoung was left to trail behind them, boarding the bus just as the door closed behind her.

She’d been peering at the different seats, knowing that no matter what, she and Chanyeol would sit together. He always let her sit with him, even if his friends were there. “Oppa, where do you want to -” But she trailed off when she looked up, her chest feeling funny as she watched her brother introduce the new boy to his group of friends at the back of the bus. As the group mumbled their names and started chattering about mundane things, Hoseok took the seat next to Chanyeol.

It had taken a few seconds for Chaeyoung to realise that she’d have to find a seat of her own, for the first time in her life. Her eyes fell to the gameboy in Hoseok’s hands; he was still fiddling with it as he listened to the others talk to each other. His gaze had met Chaeyoung’s then, and his wide, friendly eyes immediately narrowed, letting her know he wasn’t about to forget what she’d almost done anytime soon. With a jerk, the bus began to move.

It didn’t take long for Hoseok to become an inevitable part of her life; he and her brother quickly became inseparable, and Chanyeol clearly thought highly of him. He fit in seamlessly at school, he was fun and loud and cheerful, and no one she’d met so far had a single bad thing to say about him.

The only person Hoseok seemed to get annoyed by, apart from his own sister sometimes, was his best friend’s sister. Chaeyoung had noticed how he rolled his eyes every time she tried to hang out with them, how she wanted to be included while they were playing video games or when they wanted to ride their bikes to school. At school, Chaeyoung watched her brother and Hoseok grow further and further away from her, both of them in different buildings of the school, in separate cafeterias and with completely separate groups of friends.

But it was a point of pride for her that despite Chanyeol’s growing popularity, she was still his sister. His friends knew it, her friends knew it - and the only person she allowed to be as close to him was Hoseok, only because he was Hoseok.

At the sports meet, almost a year after the Jungs moved in next door, she felt like she knew what that meant. When she’d seen the waves of cheering for Hoseok when he won the final race, when she watched how his friends gathered around him, how her brother was the first one to hug him, it occurred to her how badly she wanted to be one of them. So, naturally, since no one stopped her, Chaeyoung ran down to the field with the other kids, ready to congratulate him.

She fought her way through, feeling just as proud of him as everyone else seemed to be. She’d known him for as long as she could remember, after all - he was family. With his damp hair, white jersey and infectious smile, it was like she was seeing the sun. He hadn’t seen her yet, though, but once she made it to the front of the crowd, he finally did.

Chaeyoung didn’t think she’d ever forget the moment their eyes met. How, for a split second, the euphoria seemed directed at her and she felt stirrings in her heart she’d never felt before. Her legs moved automatically and she rushed to hug him, noticing only just before she reached him how his face went slack and his eyes went wide with horror.

He stepped back the same moment she reached him, causing her to trip and fall onto him as they both crashed to the ground. It was sudden and unexpected, but Chaeyoung hugged him anyway.

“You were amazing!” she started to squeal, only to be roughly pushed away. She fell on her backside with a soft “oof!”, completely confused for a second until she looked up to see Hoseok scrambling to his feet. His expression was one of immense irritation, a direct contrast to what it was a minute prior, as he dusted his hands on his shorts.

“What are you doing, you weirdo?” he snapped, and it was only then that she realised the noise around her hadn’t died down - they just weren’t cheering anymore. They were laughing.

Chaeyoung sat there on the ground, motionless, too stunned to even cry. It wasn’t at all the reaction she was expecting, until she noticed how Hoseok, his face red, was backing away from the crowd as though trying to make himself invisible. It occurred to her only then what was happening; Jung Hoseok, the coolest boy she knew, was shy.

It made her stomach flutter, that she’d made him shy. Even though Hoseok only glared at her after that and wouldn’t even look at her when their families went out to dinner that night, Chaeyoung knew. She knew she’d seen something on Hoseok’s face she’d never seen before, and she was the only one who’d made him look that way. At six years old, Chaeyoung knew she was in love with Jung Hoseok.

—

Chaeyoung couldn’t remember her mother very well. She hadn’t been barely five when the aneurysm had suddenly been detected. There were some quick hospital visits, the walls white and the sheets crisp, before one evening, her father had come to both her and Chanyeol at the house of the neighbour who’d been babysitting them to tell them that their mother had died.

At the time, Chaeyoung hadn’t quite been able to comprehend it. All she knew was that her father was crying - her father - and Chanyeol was trying his absolute hardest not to. She’d sneaked over to her brother’s room that night to comfort him - after all, he did every time she cried - but when she’d reached the doorway and heard his muffled sobs, she’d broken down as well. It was that, even more than her mother’s sudden death, that had made her succumb to tears that night: the fact that for the first time in her memory, her brother - her tall, perfect nine year old brother - was crying.

As the years went by and Chaeyoung began growing up, she’d realised that losing her mother meant more than just the fact that she would have to dress herself for school. There were conversations with friends, playdates at others’ houses, even casual words between Jiwoo and her mother every time the Jungs came over for dinner, that would give Chaeyoung pause and make her wonder what exactly it was that was lacking in her life without a mother.

Of course, given that she hadn’t really known much about her mother, and remembered even less, there was only so much she could speculate about. Then, about four years after her mother’s death, their father had told them about Seoyoon. He’d been very nervous, she’d been able to tell, but everything he’d said after that made no sense to her at all. Next to her, Chanyeol hadn’t reacted much at all until the end, when he’d simply shrugged when their father asked them if they were okay.

“But what about mom?” Chaeyoung had blurted out, not even realising that from the moment the new lady’s name had left her father’s mouth, these had been the only words in her mind, going round and round on a loop.

Her father had tilted his head and looked at her sadly. “Mom…” He’d trailed off for a moment. “Mom will always be your mom. Nobody else will ever be able to take her place. Even in my life,” he’d continued, and he’d reached out and held Chanyeol’s hand, “no one will ever be able to replace her. But Seoyoon is…” He’d blinked rapidly for a few seconds. “At a certain age, sweetheart… it gets too hard to be alone.”

At the time, Chaeyoung had taken this to mean that this new woman, this Seoyoon, was something of a playmate, someone for her father to chat with on the phone and watch movies with once in a while. It still wasn’t the best feeling but she didn’t know how to put it into words, the feeling of seeing something slip through her fingers and being powerless to catch it. She’d looked up at Chanyeol, who was staring at the ground and finally nodded. A moment later, Chaeyoung nodded, too, for if her brother was okay with it, so was she.

When she went up to her room, she suddenly felt terribly lonely. It was too dark and she felt that if she were to cry as loudly as she could, no one would hear her, and no one would care. She thought of her mother, a face she only knew from pictures, a voice she scarcely remembered, and whose touch she could only imagine. She pictured her mother right beside her, understanding everything she was feeling and murmuring quietly, as quiet as the wind, that everything would be alright.

Call me if you need me.

It was one of the only things Chaeyoung had any memory of her mother saying, a vivid picture of her scribbling her cell phone number next to her husband’s on a piece of white card and tucking it safely inside Chaeyoung’s pocket. It was what she said now, sweetly, silently.

I will, Ma.

It was the first night she dreamed Ma into existence.

Ma stayed after that. She felt like a mother whenever Chaeyoung thought about her, but better than all her friends’ mothers. She never told Chaeyoung to finish her vegetables, she always realised it was unfair when her father would compare her marks to Chanyeol’s, and she always, always took Chaeyoung’s side. When Chaeyoung was annoyed or angry, Ma would be there. Sometimes, even when she was happy, like when she made it onto the football team, Ma was there - not with the other parents in the stands, but right there next to Chaeyoung on the field.

She didn’t know whether to tell Chanyeol. On the one hand, she trusted him more than anybody else in the world - and wasn’t she his Ma, too? But when she tried to broach the topic of their mother once, when he’d been studying and she’d been bursting to tell someone, Chanyeol had been uncharacteristically abrupt with her.

“I don’t want to talk about this, Chae.”

He’d interrupted her when she’d been mid-sentence, and she’d fallen silent. He seemed to realise this, for a moment later he looked up at her and sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I just… I really need to study for this test.” When she only nodded and said nothing, he continued. “Also, now that dad has… now that Seoyoon is here, I just don’t think it’s right to talk about mom.”

If Chaeyoung had been older, if she’d realised that her brother, too, was a child who was doing the best he could, she would have seen this statement as evidence that he was coping with the loss of their mother, just like she was. But in her nine year old wisdom, she took this to mean that Seoyoon was the reason no one could talk about her mother anymore.

Seoyoon was invited for dinner later that week, and again the week after that. After that it became more and more frequent, to the point that she was there when Chaeyoung and her brother returned home from school, and Chanyeol at least stopped seeming surprised.

A couple of months later, her father sat them down and told them his plan. He’d looked nervous yet hopeful, until relief washed over his face when Chanyeol gave him a small smile and nodded in assent.

He’s lying! Chaeyoung wanted to scream, but her voice wouldn’t work, not when her father turned to her and his expression changed from relief to anticipation, as though he was expecting a fight. Chaeyoung didn’t disappoint, and even though she knew he’d do what he wanted anyway, she bit the inside of her cheek and exhaled sharply.

“You promised you wouldn’t forget about mom,” was all she said and at nineyears old, it seemed like the crux of the issue. No matter how much her father tried to convince her he hadn’t, Chaeyoung knew that she, at least, would do everything possible to keep her mother with her.

Later that week her father finally pulled the plug and proposed to Seoyoon. The following weekend, he threw an announcement dinner with the Jungs from next door, where Chaeyoung watched this woman throughout. Her stepmother; this new woman who was sitting in her mother’s kitchen, laughing with her father and giving presents to her and her brother like she’d known them forever.

Chaeyoung was too startled to do anything but quietly accept it and echo a thank you along with her brother. No one will ever be able to replace your mom, her father had promised. Chaeyoung didn’t know what that meant anymore; all she knew was that there were eight people in the room, four in each family, and that her mother was not one of them.

Sometime during dessert, when there was music playing and the adults were chatting with drinks in their hands, Chaeyoung slipped out of the front door and sat on her porch. Chanyeol was busy with something inside and, anyway, she had no interest in hanging around with him right now. It was rare but it happened, and right now she simply wanted away from all the music and energy.

It was a reasonably chilly night, and she involuntarily shivered when she sat down on the porch. It was quiet as she waited for Ma, and she closed her eyes in wait. A sudden rustling made her eyes snap open, followed by a groan.

“Chaeyoung?”

Her heart instantly zoomed, which seemed to be the default reaction for her body every time Hoseok entered her mind space. She looked up to see him come into view, standing at the edge of the front yard.

“Yeah,” she said immediately, hearing the forced upward lilt in her own voice.

He sighed loudly. “Seriously? Are you following me again?”

Chaeyoung felt herself deflate. This, too, seemed to be a default reaction every time she entered his mind space.

“No,” she mumbled. “What are you doing out here?” she asked after a moment.

“I lost my keychain this morning. I think I dropped it here.” He sighed, glancing at her begrudgingly. “I don’t suppose you’ve seen it? It’s a Manchester United one.”

Chaeyoung bit her lip. She knew which keychain he was talking about, for not only had she seen it, she had it. She’d seen it fall out of the side pocket of Hoseok’s backpack this morning when all three of them walked to the school bus. As usual, she’d been walking behind both boys, trying to keep up with their conversation as they chattered about something hilarious that had happened during their class field trip yesterday.

Every time she’d tried to interject, they either continued their conversation like they hadn’t heard her, or they would tell her to stop interrupting. When Hoseok finally snapped at her (“Can you please shut up for a second?”), she’d sulked but obliged, feeling rather annoyed again. The final nail in the coffin had been just before they’d been about to board, and a girl in the window - a beautiful, popular thirteen year old girl with pretty curls and blue ribbon - smiled out the window. Chaeyoung had followed her gaze and swallowed as she realised she was smiling at Hoseok - and he was smiling back.

Chaeyoung had felt her heart drop and her teeth grit. As she followed the boys into the bus, she’d spotted something shiny on the ground. Bending down to pick it up, she’d realised what it was and who it belonged to. Before she could talk herself out of it, she pocketed it, knowing that no matter who he smiled at, Hoseok’s favourite keychain with his favourite football team on it belonged to her.

“Nope. Haven’t seen it.”

Hoseok sighed loudly and dramatically, climbing the porch stairs and about to sit down, before apparently thinking better of it. He remained standing, as though afraid of being too close to her and while that would usually break Chaeyoung’s heart enough for her to cry herself to sleep, tonight she simply felt a dull throb and a whole lot of impatience for his snark.

“Why aren’t you inside?” he asked.

“I want to be outside,” she answered defiantly.

“Okayyy.”

“Chan’s talking to Cruella in there,” she muttered after a moment. The image of her brother, smiling and graciously welcoming Seoyoon into the family, made her sick. If she’d spent another moment in there, she swore she would’ve thrown up.

Hoseok scoffed. “Chan? Didn’t you get in trouble for calling him by his name?”

She flushed. “Not trouble. Just… it doesn’t matter, okay?”

“Fine. Whatever.” There was a pause. “Did you just call her Cruella?” When Chaeyoung didn’t answer, he shrugged. “Chanyeol says she’s nice.”

“Well, bully for Chanyeol.”

“God, must you whine?”

“I hate this sweater,” she said, tugging at the brand new gift her father had made her put on. “And I have to wear it because she gave it to me.”

“So? I hate these pants but my mom made me wear them.” He shrugged. “That’s life.”

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes. This was Hoseok’s new thing lately: that’s life. She didn’t know where he’d learnt it, but his eventual response to everything was “that’s life”, which irritated her beyond belief. He especially said it to her all the time, as though she was a child that needed reminding about the facts of the world, and it made her blood boil.

“She’s not my mom.”

“All moms are the same. Your mom would’ve told you to wear it, too.”

“You didn’t even know her,” she snapped.

There was a few seconds of silence as Hoseok presumably processed this, including her unusual tone. “You’re right,” he said, his tone uncharacteristically sober. “Sorry.”

Chaeyoung grit her teeth and hoped she wouldn’t cry in front of him. She would look weak and any hopes of getting him to notice her would go straight out the window. Also, Ma wasn’t here yet and she would only cry to Ma.

“Chanyeol didn’t like her at first either.”

She didn’t know if she’d heard him correctly. “What?”

“Your… Seoyoon. Cruella,” he added, an awkward sort of smile appearing for a second. “Chan didn’t like her when she first got here.”

This was news to hear. “Really? He - he told you?”

“Yeah. Said she talked weird.”

It wasn’t on the list of things that annoyed Chaeyoung, but she took it. It didn’t escape her notice that Chanyeol had failed to mention this to her while confiding in Hoseok about it, but for now, it made her feel just slightly less alone. She turned around to look in through the window again.

“He seems to like her now,” she mumbled.

“Maybe you will, too. Or he’s faking it.”

Chaeyoung snorted. It felt good to laugh for a moment, even if the situation sucked. “I hope he’s faking it.”

“Really? Why?”

She frowned. “Because… I don’t…” She didn’t know how to put it into words that she didn’t want to be the only one missing her mother. “I don’t want to be the only one who doesn’t like her.”

“Then maybe you should try to like her.”

Chaeyoung bristled. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. “I don’t want to like her.”

“But why? I mean, aren’t you glad your dad is happy?”

The way he said it, it sounded like the most obvious thing in the world. But when Chaeyoung turned around to look inside again, for the first time all night, her gaze shifted from her brother to her father. There was something heartbreaking about how happy he looked, but Chaeyoung didn’t know just how to express that while it was a nice sight, it only made her miss her mother even more.

She said nothing, though, resolving only to keep Ma her secret forever. Her dad and brother didn’t need nor want Ma, and Chaeyoung was fine not sharing.

Next to her, Hoseok sighed. “It’s cold. I’m going inside.”

All thoughts of her soon to be stepmother vanished. “Wait!” When he halted and turned around, eyebrows raised, her heart thumped against her ribcage. “Why - why are you being nice to me?”

Even in the darkness, she could see the hint of a blush on his face. But his next words wiped away any scenarios her imagination may have created. “You’re Chan’s sister,” he said, shrugging, his hands in his pockets. “I have to be nice to you.”

—

The day Hoseok left for Seoul, Chaeyoung thought she would die.

Everyone was thrilled for him, it looked like. He was going to follow his dreams, they said. His parents seemed nervous but proud, his sister called from Australia, telling him to take care of himself. Even Chanyeol, who she’d thought would be distraught since he’d be losing his best friend, was irritatingly supportive.

“He’s going to be an idol,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing. They were at the dining table in their house, a week before Hoseok was meant to leave. “He’s meant for it. Haven’t you seen him dance?”

Chaeyoung stared at him, incredulous. Seen him? She lived and breathed him - of course she knew how he could dance, that he was meant to be an idol and whatnot.

“That - that’s not my point,” she stuttered, her chopsticks feeling like water between her fingers. “How is he - his life is here. His school, his friends, his… everyone.”

Chanyeol, now sixteen, squinted at her. “He’ll make new friends. He’s good at that.”

“Yes, but he’s your best friend. Won’t you - won’t you miss him?”

He chewed his food thoughtfully. “I mean… sure. I guess. We’ll text and stuff.” He shrugged.

Chaeyoung blinked. “Text,” she repeated.

“Yeah. What’s the big deal? You’re acting like he’s dying.”

“Chaeyoung,” said Seoyoon, her voice soft and melodic, “it’s okay to miss him, too. He’s like family.”

She met her stepmother’s eyes. “Yeah. Not really what I was getting at.”

Next to her, Chanyeol rolled his eyes, while her father said her name sternly. Seoyoon simply placed a hand on his arm and muttered “it’s okay”, while Chaeyoung was left to silently resent how, out of everyone at the table, including Ma, Seoyoon was the one who had the nerve to say it out loud.

It felt like the worst thing that could happen, and it felt directly targeted at her. His parents would always be his parents, his sister had already left for Australia a year ago, and Chanyeol was his best friend in the world. Chaeyoung was none of these things, however, and it felt like if he left now, he’d be gone from her life forever.

The first night, she cried for hours. It was as though she could feel his absence next door. She fell asleep gazing at a picture of she, Chanyeol and Hoseok on her nightstand, taken during a family trip to Jeju Island. The next day at school, she walked around like a war widow, with puffy eyes and her books clutched to her chest. At lunch, she sat surrounded by her friends, feeling like they would never understand, never know true heartbreak and true pain.

A week later, things were easier. Chaeyoung made the middle school football team, just like her brother had, and after-school practice meant less time to miss the love of her life. Then exams happened, and birthday parties, and before she knew it, it was next year.

Hoseok was forgotten by no one; the Jungs came over for dinner just as often as they did before, but only two kids out of four meant that the dinner was more for the adults to stay in touch than anything else. Chanyeol got busy with applying to colleges, while Chaeyoung, for the first time, had her life laid bare in front of her. With no Chanyeol and Hoseok to follow around, her own friends, her own studies and her own life were suddenly at the forefront.

Hoseok was still on her mind, though. She looked at the picture on her bedside table every night, kept his Manchester United keychain in her backpack, and told all her friends about the day she would date an idol. “He’ll become an idol and then he’ll come back,” she said, for it seemed incredibly obvious. Her friends, no strangers to her lifelong crush, were part supportive and part envious, which only thrilled thirteen year old Chaeyoung even more.

Chanyeol was right about one thing, though. He and Hoseok texted - and only texted. She hadn’t a clue if and when they actually spoke, and she spent hours daydreaming about the day he’d call her, because as much as he pretended like he couldn’t stand her, one day he would surely wake up and realise how much he missed her. They were family, after all.

He finally did call one day - or rather, he was called. It was his seventeenth birthday, and they were at the Jungs’ house for lunch when Hoseok’s father decided to call his son, putting it on video as everyone said hello and wished him. The first thing that Chaeyoung noticed was how narrow his face was; it was unexpected, but he still looked as handsome as ever and she only hoped that he’d notice her new haircut, too.

It was chaotic; Hoseok was speaking hurriedly, saying he didn’t have much time. The phone was passed down from adult to adult, everyone wishing him and making typical grown-up comments about what a big man he was, living by himself in Seoul. The phone was then swiftly passed to Chanyeol, who simply stood up and began walking away into another room, going “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at Eunwoo’s party last week…”

Chaeyoung knew she had to wait before it was her turn - but it was just so hard. She was almost giddy with happiness; she’d missed him so much. There was so much she had to tell him and so much she wanted to know, including when he was planning to come back. But when five minutes passed and Chanyeol didn’t return, and the adults had moved to some boring topic of conversation, Chaeyoung decided to take matters into her own hands.

Hopping off her chair, she retraced her brother’s steps and found him in the pantry of the house, sitting atop a stool and laughing into the phone as he held it up in front of him. He caught her eyes above the phone and she tried to signal to him to give her the phone.

“- and it was… what?” He frowned before apparently catching on. “Oh, uh… do you, uh, want to talk to Chae? She -”

But Hoseok’s voice interrupted him, shrill through the speaker. “Oh, God, no.”

Chanyeol’s eyes flickered to his sister. “Hey, man -”

“Dude, no, not today. I’ve had a bad enough day so far,” he said, sounding more weary than ever. “Don’t make me talk to your sister right now. Let that be my birthday gift,” he quipped, clearly oblivious to how Chaeyoung stood behind the phone, frozen to the ground.

“Oh, um…” Chanyeol sighed, tilting his head sympathetically at his sister as Hoseok said a hurried goodbye. “Yeah, yeah… have a good day.” There was a beep and the call ended. Chanyeol took a few moments before meeting Chaeyoung’s eyes again.

“I don’t - I don’t understand,” she said, feeling like her voice wasn’t even hers, like it was coming from somewhere else. “Why - why doesn’t he want to talk to me?”

Chanyeol opened his mouth but seemed to think better of it, standing up and moving to walk past her. “Just ignore it. Come on, let’s go back -”

“No, wait.” She stopped him. “Tell me. I - I thought… I thought he missed home. You said he missed being home,” she repeated, hearing her voice tremble. “Why didn’t he want to talk to me?” And why did it look like you understood?

“Chae, just - just let it go, alright?”

“No! I’m his family! Why doesn’t he want to -”

“Because you’re telling everyone that you’re his family!” Chanyeol blurted, looking fed up. “Jesus, Chae! Everyone knows you have a crush on him, but you don’t have to make it so damn public!”

Her face reddened. “I don’t have a crush on -”

“Oh, please. It was okay when you were younger but then you started following him around school and stuff… come on, can you blame him for being embarrassed?”

Chaeyoung shook her head. Nothing he was saying was making sense. “What are you talking about? He wasn’t embarrassed, he was - he was shy. He didn’t -”

“Seriously?” This time, even Chanyeol looked incredulous. “Chae, you told your friends that you were going to marry him when his crew won that inter-school competition in ninth grade. One of them told her older sister and suddenly everyone knew. You really thought that would make him shy?”

It took everything Chaeyoung had in her to not cry. “But - but he never said anything. He - he always…” But that wasn’t true. He said a lot of things. He was perpetually annoyed with her, and every time that she ever wondered why he was so sweet and sunny with everyone but her… it seemed she finally had an answer. “Why didn’t he ever tell me to stop?” she asked in a small voice.

“Because you’re my sister,” he replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What was he going to say?”

You’re Chan’s sister. I have to be nice to you. At the time, it was proof to her of how close their families were, of how they were family. But now she realised it was none of those things, just Hoseok admitting what he and everyone else apparently knew: were it not for his best friend, Jung Hoseok would have absolutely nothing to do with Kang Chaeyoung.

She found it hard to meet her brother’s gaze. There was a stinging on her lower lip where she tasted blood, and then a stinging in her eyes. It was a time in her life when she and Chanyeol weren’t as close as they once were, and she was faced with a sudden and irrational fear that if she cried right now, he would tell Hoseok about it.

Chanyeol took a step towards her. “Chae -”

She started to shake her head when they were interrupted, and she turned to see Hoseok’s father approaching the pantry.

“There you two are,” he said cheerfully, sounding far too much like his son for Chaeyoung to handle. “I need my phone. Oh, Chanyeol, help me bring down the barbecue for tonight, come on…” He brushed past her and patted Chanyeol on the back, who nodded respectfully and made way for him. “Oh, Chaeyoung, your mother was asking where you were - there’s strawberry cream for dessert and she says it’s your favourite…”

Chaeyoung nodded in a daze, turning away from Chanyeol and walking out of the room. The dining area felt miles away and every step made her feel like she was on a treadmill. Finally, after what seemed like ages, she reached the dining table and took her seat. She ignored Seoyoon when she offered her dessert, her eyes on her empty plate the whole time. Even when Chanyeol returned and tried to get her to look at him, muttering “Chae? Are you okay?”, she simply nodded once but didn’t dare look at him.

That night, the first thing Chaeyoung did when she went to her room was take out the picture from the frame on her bedside table and slip it into one of her books. She hunted through every photo album she had and finally chose a picture of her with the rest of her football team, a group of thirteen year old girls holding up small gold trophies and grinning into the camera.

It felt like a step in the right direction, for if she needed to stop embarrassing Hoseok, it needed to begin right here in her bedroom. As she stared at the picture, trying to talk herself into liking it, into realising that these girls, her friends, were more important than a guy who wouldn’t even let her wish him a happy birthday, she felt the first sob wrack through her body.

She imagined what Ma would say. Ma didn’t appear to her like she did before; it was just her voice now, saying things that Chaeyoung wanted to hear. Right now, she imagined Ma would tell her that Hoseok hated her, that there was no point loving someone who hated her. He’s only nice to you because of Chanyeol, she said, her voice soothing and familiar. So why are you nice to him?

“Because he’s perfect,” she cried softly, feeling like her heart would break. She’d never felt this horrible, she knew. Even Chanyeol couldn’t make this better; in fact, he’d only made it worse. How long had he known? How could he have gone all this time, knowing what he did, and continue letting her make a fool of herself? Did he laugh about her with Hoseok? Did she embarrass him, too?

She thought of her father, how he’d sigh at her every time she got into trouble at school. How he and Chanyeol would both give her a look when she didn’t fake it with the stepmother. Hoseok’s face as he rolled his eyes floated through her mind. It was a kick in the gut as she thought it: How many people was she disappointing at once?

—

Bangtan Sonyeondan was a cool name. It was a fact, and even though Chaeyoung was very careful to not let it show on her face, their debut single was really cool.

Chanyeol’s class had long graduated by now. Chaeyoung, at fifteen, was at the peak of her school career so far. While she’d been initially wary of Chanyeol graduating, leaving her completely alone for the first time, it turned out to be just what she’d needed to step out of his shadow once and for all. No one had forgotten him, but they remembered just enough to know she was.

Everyone in the school knew when Hoseok debuted. It was a huge point of pride for the school that one of their former students was now an idol and for a good few weeks, every single person in the school was humming No More Dream. It was catchy as hell, and Hoseok was amazing in it - not that Chaeyoung was noticing.

Ever since the phone call that was not meant to be, Chaeyoung had attempted to distance herself from everything Jung Hoseok. It was the hardest thing in the world at first, but eventually real life took precedence over daydreams, studies took importance over doodling his name, and her real friends ended up being more fun to hang out with than a fictionalised version of him in her mind.

Once she’d managed to let him go, she’d been pleasantly surprised to find how much of a life she was able to have outside of him. It turned out that, for the most part, people seemed to like her. In one of her birthday cards, the most frequent words used by people was “fun” - she was fun, apparently. She wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, until one day in ninth grade when she’d convinced a few friends to skip a class. They’d gotten away with it, and she’d been hailed as “so fun”.

Life continued, fun and everything. Chanyeol left Gwangju for Seoul when he went to college and, she imagined, got back in touch with Hoseok. She still texted her brother reasonably often, whenever they had the time. Now that they’d reached a certain age and stage of their own lives, their initial relationship had started to become slightly more distant.

It wasn’t something that even occurred to Chaeyoung except for in certain moments, like their mother’s birthday. On those days, she missed Chanyeol more than anything. To his credit, he was mostly there for her when she needed him, but to her credit, she tried not to need him too much.

A few months before her sixteenth birthday, Hoseok returned to Gwangju for three days. It was a huge deal, for he’d apparently had to negotiate a lot for even those days off. Chanyeol was back then, too, and naturally both families wanted to make the best of it.

Despite the fact that Chaeyoung, for all intents and purposes, was over her crush on Hoseok by now, it still evoked a sense of quiet excitement in her stomach. She didn’t seek him out, but she made sure not to leave her room until she was perfectly dressed and her hair was impeccable, ready to breeze past him without a care in the world, determined to show him how much she’d grown without him.

As it turned out, she didn’t see him that morning. She didn’t see him that evening after school, or that night. In fact, she didn’t see him all weekend; Hoseok seemed to have a ton of friends to visit, and he and Chanyeol were gone for practically the entire time.

Chaeyoung wished she’d just catch a glimpse of him - not because she missed him or anything, but because the longer it took to see him, the higher the anticipation got. She’d managed to put their last humiliating not-interaction to the back of her mind eventually, but the longer she waited to see him, the more she ended up reliving it.

On Hoseok’s last night, there was a dinner at the Jungs. Unlike the last time he left for Seoul, when no one knew what his future would hold, this time he was leaving as a successful debuted idol. The dinner, therefore, was more of a farewell party, with a few more of his friends invited, all of whom Chaeyoung remembered from school.

Chaeyoung tried her hardest to stay out of everyone’s way. She didn’t trust herself around Hoseok, particularly because now that he was here, actually in the flesh, she was begrudgingly being reminded of everything that she’d once loved about him.

Don’t go down that rabbit hole, Chae, Ma said, as Chaeyoung hovered near the kitchen, nibbling at her nails. Hoseok had brushed past her once or twice, giving her a perfunctory “hi” which only served to make her feel ridiculous, because it was clear that he wasn’t devoting even a fraction of the mind space to her that she was to him.

Towards the end of the night, given that it was a Sunday, Chaeyoung knew that she would be sent home soon. It was a school night and the older kids were chattering about going out for a while longer, so she knew that if she didn’t speak to Hoseok now, there would be no telling if she’d ever be able to get this out.

Finally, around ten pm, when she saw him go upstairs to his room, she followed him. She tried hard to ensure that no one saw her but when she finally reached his doorway, she realised that none of it mattered because she had no idea what to say.

Chaeyoung cleared her throat. “Hoseok oppa?” she said gingerly.

He whipped around, turning away from the bag he seemed to be packing. She didn’t fail to notice how his face fell when he realised who it was; she tried not to let that get to her.

“Uh… what are you doing here?” he asked, sounding almost wary. His eyes darted around the room as though expecting to get caught by someone.

“I just wanted to say hi,” she managed, her heart racing. He looked… incredible. Nineteen became him. He looked thin but fit, and his hair was cut stylishly so it fell across his forehead. Swallowing, she continued. “And… I wanted to apologise.”

“Uh, okay - look. You’re in my room. Anyone can see you,” he informed her. “So you should probably -“ He gave her a knowing nod and gestured towards the door.

It stung, but she held her ground, stepping inside his room and shutting the door behind her. Leaning back against it, she exhaled. “Is that better?”

Hoseok’s look of pure horror was enough to tell her that it was, in fact, not better, but she’d had enough distractions now.

“Look, I don’t need too much of your time. I just…” She looked at her feet, trying to find the courage to continue. “I wanted to… apologise,” she said finally.

Hoseok frowned. “For what?” he asked suspiciously.

“For… everything? I guess.” She swallowed, forcing herself to continue looking up at him. “It was brought to my attention a while back that I may have… embarrassed you.” She paused as the words settled around them, having said it out loud for the first time ever. “I know I was probably a bit annoying and I didn’t - I wasn’t very… cool.”

Hoseok looked more confused than anything now and she couldn’t blame him, for she didn’t think she was making any sense either. But he hadn’t asked her to leave yet, which was more encouragement than she could hope for.

“Honestly, when I think back to some of the things I did…” She trailed off for a moment, shaking her head. “I cringe a little bit. Okay, that’s a lie. I cringe a lot.”

He nodded slowly, and she didn’t know if she’d imagined the fleeting look of amusement on his face.

“So, anyway. I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

Huh. Chaeyoung didn’t know what else she was expecting, but his tone made it pretty clear that their heart to heart was over. “Okay, then. I’ll just… go.” She turned to open the door, only to see about four of his friends standing right outside. Chanyeol wasn’t one of them. They were clearly waiting for Hoseok, possibly giving him privacy because of the closed door, but the moment one of them spotted her, his eyes went wide.

“Oh, my -”

“Oh, God,” muttered Hoseok from behind her.

“Dude.” A second guy, Hyungmin, seemed to smile in slow motion, as though he was suddenly uncovering some huge joke. He nudged the first guy and snorted. “The happy couple is back!”

Chaeyoung wrinkled her nose. “What?”

But her voice was drowned out among the hoots, all loud and obnoxious. She turned back to Hoseok, possibly for an explanation, only to see him rolling his eyes before he suddenly glared at her.

“I don’t even know what she’s doing here,” he said stonily, and her heart skipped a confused beat.

“What? I -”

“Hey, Chan, get up here!” One of the other guys interrupted her, leaning over the railing and shouting into the house. “You’ll never guess who was in Hobi’s room - with the door closed!”

“Dude, he’s gonna kill him,” snickered Hyungmin, giving Hoseok a mock-sympathetic look.

“Alright, isn’t this joke, like, a million years old?” he asked, sounding thoroughly unimpressed.

“It was, but now she’s getting hot and all,” said the third guy, whom Chaeyoung only remembered as the one who was invited because he had a car. He gave her a side glance and raised an eyebrow. “Now it means all kinds of -

“Dude, what the fuck?” Hoseok groaned, while Hyungmin slapped his shoulder with the back of his hand and hissed, “She’s a kid.”

“Well, she doesn’t look like -”

“Chan is going to kill you if you don’t -”

“Hey, what’s going on up there?” Chanyeol’s voice floated up, interrupting everyone. “Are we leaving or what?”

There was a momentary pause when it seemed as though no one knew how to respond. Then Hoseok rolled his eyes and strode out of the room. “Come on, let’s go,” he muttered, and fortunately, his friends followed his lead. As he passed Chaeyoung, he glared at her.

“How do you manage to ruin everything?” he hissed. “I told you to get out of my room.”

“I - I know.” Chaeyoung heard her voice tremble. “I didn’t think they would -”

“Really? Because it’s so different from what they’ve been doing the last ten years?” He gave her another exasperated look, like she wasn’t worth his time. “Why can’t you just disappear?” he muttered, knocking into her shoulder as he left the room.

Chaeyoung stayed there for a minute, humiliated, her feet rooted to the floor. She didn’t know whether it was his friend’s comments about her, the way they were talking about her like she wasn’t right there in front of them, or whether, after all these years, Hoseok had finally told her the truth.

Why can’t you just disappear?

She glanced into his room again, her eyes running over the taped posters on the wall, the folded bed sheets, a set of clothes draped neatly over the chair. She’d come here in hopes of maybe moving past everything that had caused him to avoid her all these years. Now, she wished she hadn’t said anything at all.

Chaeyoung rushed home after that, not wanting to wait for Seoyoon to croon over at her to do so. She didn’t think anyone even noticed; she ran out the front door, glad for the empty hallway from where she could hear everyone else in the dining room. The night was dark and chilly, and she hopped over the short fence to her front yard, slamming her door behind her before hurrying upstairs.

She wouldn’t cry this time, she vowed, even as she wiped angry tears forming of their own accord. She was sick of it, sick of everything. She was sick of those stupid friends Chanyeol still hung out with, she was sick of how Hoseok instantly became a different person when it came to her, she was sick of her stepmother, her family - but most of all, she completely sick of how, even after all these years, the things Hoseok said still had the ability to hurt her.

She hadn’t grown up at all, clearly. Nothing had changed. She would forever hold a candle for her brother’s best friend, even if, until two days ago, she’d been somewhat preoccupied by the fact that Nam Sehun from the other section had a rumoured crush on her.

She looked up from where she was sitting at the corner of her bed when she heard a faint sound of laughter and a shout. Dragging her feet to the window, she saw a car pull out from the Jungs’ driveway, music emanating from it until it screeched to a sudden stop.

“Hurry up, man!” One of the guys shouted as another leapt out of the car, scurrying back to the house. The party must be over. Before she knew it, everyone else would be back home.

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes and stepped away from the window, too tired to care. As she stripped and retrieved an old t-shirt and pajamas from the closet, she found herself feeling more and more stupid by the second. She’d made more of an effort than she’d realised apparently; even the bra she was wearing was something she’d purposely picked out, possibly in an effort to show Hoseok that she’d grown up - except it hadn’t worked, and the only person who seemed to notice it was Chanyeol’s creepy friend.

Pulling on her clothes, she trudged to the bed, ready to nurse another broken heart and fall asleep forever, when she heard a knock.

“Fuck,” she whispered, not in the mood to face her stepmother and her fake concern right now. The knock sounded again and she swore under her breath. “No one’s home,” she called, hoping she’d take the hint.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s true,” said the voice outside, and Chaeyoung felt a jolt in her stomach. She walked over and opened the door gingerly to see Hoseok, quite possibly the last person she’d ever expected to see outside her room. It suddenly occurred to her how much taller he was; it vaguely intimidated her, until he bit his lip and sighed, looking at the floor.

Chaeyoung was about to ask what he was doing here, but something in his posture made her want to wait him out. So she continued standing there, one hand on her hip and the other on her door.

Hoseok’s eyes flickered up to her and he opened his mouth before he seemingly noticed something behind her. “A colour-changing lava lamp?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is that a high school girl thing?”

She stared. “You’re wearing a snapback at night. Is that a Seoul thing?”

He paused before sighing and taking it off. “I knew it looked stupid,” he muttered, ruffling his messy black hair.

“No, it doesn’t,” she said automatically, wincing slightly at how desperate she sounded. It was too hard to think straight around him. “I - what are you doing here?” she asked, slightly nervous. “Aren’t you afraid your friends will see you in my room?”

“Uh, no. They’re downstairs.”

She nodded. “That’s… good thinking.”

There was an awkward silence where neither of them looked at each other and for the first time in her life, she wished Hoseok would leave her alone.

“Look, um…” Hoseok began slowly, as though every word was taking a great effort. “About before… I know you were just trying to apologise. I shouldn’t have…” He looked up, as though hoping for a prompt. When he received none, he sighed again. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” Chaeyoung nodded.

“Right.” After a moment, he spoke again. “Also… Joonho’s an ass.”

She bit her lip and folded her arms across her chest, a little protectively. “Yeah.”

“Anyway… I just came to say that.” He gestured vaguely behind him. “I should head.”

“Sure.”

He turned around halfway before pausing again, squinting slightly at her. “You do understand why I got mad, right? I mean, this wasn’t just about tonight. But it’s like every time that you’re around -”

“Yeah, I understand,” she said quickly, gritting her teeth. The more she looked at him, the less it looked like he cared at all. He didn’t care. He had no idea how much she’d loved him when she was younger, he had no idea how much she regretted her behaviour now, and he had no idea how humiliating it was to stand here and realise that she had no idea who he was at all.

Hoseok looked a little taken aback at her interruption. “Oh? Okay. Uh, good, then.”

“M-hm.”

“I’m gonna go.”

“You do that.”

This time when he turned to leave, Chaeyoung stopped him. “Oppa, wait.” She went to her desk and rifled through a drawer, feeling the cool metal against her fingers before bringing out the object. “I think this is yours,” she said, handing it to him.

He extended his hand automatically, frowning as she dropped it into his palm. “Is this -” He squinted at it. “Oh, my God. This is my keychain.”

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat, feeling distinctly lighter all of a sudden.

“I lost it years ago.” He looked up at her. “How - how did you find it?”

“Oh, I - I found it in a box of stuff, in the attic.” She shrugged and folded her arms across her chest again. “You must have dropped it here, I guess.”

“Wow.” He nodded, looking slightly more chipper as he shoved the keychain into his pocket. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” A sudden honk sounded outside and it felt like it was reverberating through her chest. “You should go.”

“Yeah.” He raised a hand halfway, like he was saying goodbye to someone he met in line at a bookstore. “See you around, Chae.”

“See you.” She stepped forward to shut the door, watching him walk out of her room and out of her house. Before she could lose her nerve, she spoke again. “The new single is… really cool.”

He was almost at the foot of the stairs when he stopped and looked up at her. For the first time in her memory, Hoseok smiled at her, a real, genuine smile. It was like the sun had come out, and as he thanked her and continued on his way, it occurred to Chaeyoung that it was quite possibly the only time she’d ever see it.

—

That night was the last time Chaeyoung saw Hoseok for several years. She heard from his parents that he barely had time to eat or sleep, let alone come back to visit his family. He did return for a weekend once, but she’d been away on a school trip with her football team at the time. Apart from that, Hoseok was as far out of her life as was possible.

When she was seventeen, Chaeyoung entered her first relationship. He asked her out by the water cooler after a week of rumours, and their tryst lasted a whole month until she broke up with him in the biology lab, feeling rather smothered by how he insisted on showing up at all her football practices. He didn’t take it well and responded with rumours of his own, following which Chaeyoung’s reputation began preceding her.

Her seventeenth birthday party took place a month before she graduated high school and since she was leaving Gwangju, an unexpected nostalgia caused her to invite every single person she knew. A month later she graduated along with her friends, partied for a week straight until she spent the rest of the summer waiting until she could leave for college in Busan. She did the same a year later for her eighteenth birthday, and since it occurred in the summer, all her friends were back in Gwangju and able to attend.

As it turned out, the only thing remaining that could ensure that Chaeyoung lived her own life with no ties to her brother was leaving Gwangju. In college, she had the opportunity to be who she was. Everyone was figuring it out, and she joined them. She paid attention to the classes she liked, spent nights in the library and in dorms as people quizzed each other, went on weekend trips, had boyfriends, joined college clubs - everything that gave her the satisfaction that she’d made the best out of her college years.

The most stressful time of those years came right at the end, when everyone was applying for jobs. After months of gruelling essays, internships and interviews, Chaeyoung managed to get what she considered her dream job. Her father wasn’t too certain about it; he said it didn’t “sound like a real job” but after her stepmother pitched in during their video call and persuaded him to give it a chance, he gave in.

Chaeyoung didn’t care; it gave her the same vibes as her favourite English movie, The Devil Wears Prada. Condé Nast wasn’t a magazine per se but her job wasn’t exactly that of a secretary either; the role simply said research and while she would’ve liked it to be a bit more specific - maybe columnist - she was willing to pay her dues, especially if it meant getting to live in Seoul, not wearing boring formal clothes to work and possibly working with some truly fancy brands like GQ or Vogue someday.

Moving to Seoul was less romantic than she’d expected; it was a busy, expensive city and no one had time to stop and take a breath, let alone help out a twenty-one year old who’d just moved to the city.

It’s all part of the experience, her inner voice said to her, the one she’d dubbed Ma when she was little. It was less of a coping mechanism and more of a conscience now, and it was what convinced her to move into an apartment in Hongdae with a senior she’d known back in college.

Sungmi was nice and all, but she intimated Chaeyoung a little bit. Her many piercings, her abrupt way of talking and her strange sense of humour always had Chaeyoung on edge. She also had this boyfriend who smelled perpetually of weed and had a cousin he frequently invited over, making it not the ideal living arrangement. Still, even Chaeyoung had to admit that despite the aesthetics, Sungmi had been living in Seoul by herself for nearly a year and was holding onto a good job at a catering company. Most importantly, she was offering her spare room at really low rent, something Chaeyoung was currently giving top priority to.

Plus, the best thing about Sungmi’s apartment was the parties.

“Get, um…” Sungmi moves away from the speaker and asks someone something. “Everything,” she says finally. “Just make sure there’s Absinthe and Bacardi in it and we’ll be good. I’m trusting you, Chaeyoung,” she adds knowingly, abruptly hanging up.

Faced with a plethora of bottles before her in the liquor store, Chaeyoung sighs. She isn’t even fully sure what this party is for, except that vodka and rum are required in large quantities.

“Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder, I guess,” she mutters, holding the plastic basket up as she scans the shelves, feeling a strange sense of responsibility towards her older roommate’s expectations.

Meanwhile, Jung Hoseok is near the fridges, rattling off the different beer brands to Jimin on the phone.

“I feel like wheat beer,” says Jimin thoughtfully, “but think about the calories.” He pauses as someone says something at his end. “And Taehyung wants that fruity soju.” He whines as Taehyung says something else loudly. “Okay, specifically green apple.”

Hoseok stands there, motionless, as Jimin goes through a minor Friday evening crisis. “Got it. Now, Jimin, you have about thirty seconds to make your decision before I leave this place. Beer-less.”

The younger member sighs heavily. “Alright, just get me a six pack of Corona,” he says finally, as though with a huge effort. “It’s always safe.”

Hoseok closes his eyes and counts to five in his mind, hoping he won’t snap at Jimin for wasting his time debating some random Swedish beer before ultimately deciding on Corona. “Will do.” He hangs up.

Once he has everything, he goes through the list on his phone again, hurriedly making sure he has everything for everyone. As he reaches the end of the list, he realises there’s only one thing remaining.

He spots a clerk at the end of the aisle and looks away. He’s managed so far without being recognised; he’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible. He shuffles towards the spirits, peering at the names and hoping the bottle appears all of a sudden when finally - finally - he spots the green label, the only one of its kind.

“Thank god,” he whispers and reaches for it, the same time as another hand wraps around the bottle. He flinches and withdraws his hand immediately before turning to see the only other person in the entire liquor who could possibly need Absinthe.

Something clicks in Hoseok’s brain, like a track being slowed down in post-production. “Wait…”

She raises her eyebrows. “You really don’t recognise me?”

Hoseok chuckles. It’s too unbelievable. “Dude, I think I saw you at more family dinners than my sister. Wow, Chaeyoung,” he says, taking a step back to look at her. Is she taller? “You look… older.”

“I am. Significantly. And you look…” Chaeyoung frowns and bites her lip, as though searching for something. “… blonder.” She nods as he reaches for his cap and pulls it down further over his head, tucking the few loose strands under the cloth.

“Yeah, that’s… work.” There’s a few seconds of awkward silence that makes Hoseok uncomfortable. They were never friends, but he can’t remember ever being this… unsettled around her. It’s almost like she’s a work acquaintance he’s run into, not the kid he grew up next door to.

He realises he hasn’t said anything and immediately scrambles. “Uh, so… what are you doing here? Wait, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a liquor store. I mean, you’re - you drink?”

“Yeah… I’m twenty-one. Almost twenty-two.” She bites her lips and shakes her head. “I don’t know why I said that. I just turned twenty-one.”

It takes Hoseok a moment to process this. She certainly looks older…

“Wow. Twenty-one.”

“I know.” Chaeyoung looks around before her gaze lands on the bottle still in her hand. “Oh, you can have this.”

“Oh, that’s alright. I don’t need it.”

She raises her eyebrows. “No? You don’t need it for, like… a famous person party?”

He chuckles awkwardly. “Oh, no. A friend of ours, Nari, is coming over tonight and she was the only one who wanted Absinthe.”

“Oh, then you can take it for Nari.”

“Nah, she just wants to get hammered,” he replies, shaking his head. “That can be done with anything. She doesn’t get time off from her job so when she does, she likes to go all out and that includes, unfortunately, a lot of vodka, but I’m sure whiskey would do the trick just as -“ He breaks off when he notices Chaeyoung’s tilted head and slight frown.

“I’ll take it,” she says after a moment. “My roommate’s having a party tonight. Many people need to get hammered with this.”

“Roommate, nice. Wait, are you living in Seoul?”

She nods. “Yeah. Just moved here.”

Too much is happening for Hoseok to process in one trip to the liquor store. “You -“ He pauses. “Does Chanyeol know?” he asks in a low voice.

Chaeyoung chuckles. “Yeah, he knows. My dad knows, too.”

It’s the first glimpse he’s seen so far of the old Chaeyoung, the deliberate omission of her stepmother. But he knows better than to acknowledge it. “Wow, you - you really grew up.”

She gives him an odd look and opens her mouth to say something but then closes it, as though changing her mind. “I did,” she agrees.

Hoseok knows he should be saying something more, maybe offering something - for Chanyeol’s sake. But what is he meant to say to someone he can barely recognise? She’s actually taller, from what he can remember. Her hair isn’t in ponytails anymore and she’s standing differently, too, somehow…

But before he can wrack his brain for the right words, Chaeyoung takes a deep breath.

“I should go.” She holds up the bottle of Absinthe. “Thanks for this.”

“Oh, of course,” he says, nodding and stepping aside. As she brushes past him, he frowns again: is she wearing perfume? Chaotic, skinned-knee, football-playing Chaeyoung?

But the moment passes him and so does Chaeyoung. Before leaving, she raises a hand halfway. “It was nice running into you, Hoseok.”

“Yeah,” he says softly, watching her for a moment as he tries to put his finger on why everything seems so strange. His phone pings then, though, and he remembers the errand he was running. He needs to find an alternative to Absinthe now and move on from one of the more surreal experiences of his life.

He takes a couple of steps forward before something else clicks, and he can finally put his finger on at least one thing.

“Wait,” he says slowly, turning around but not even really trying to spot her near the check-out line. “What did you call me?”

—

Thank you for reading. Don’t forget to drop a review :)

#lillia recs #bwcbookclub #magicshopholoc

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