#gam gam narak

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Gam Gam Narak

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[ourletterstogod]

Eh Bhagwan

Mujhe mar daalo Bhagwan

Aap mujhe Theek Nahein Karenge, muj ko bahut gam hai is baat mein

Jab me Gita aur Kuran pardtha hoon, toh mujhe bahut gabhraat aatha hai. Mera pura zindagi kachra bantha hai.  Bhagwan maine Chanakya ko pada hai. Kafi ithihas pada hai. Bhagwan, mujhe tho artha aur kama ko karna hai.  Lekin aapne kaha hai, Gita mein, ki aise kuch nahein hai. Toh aap sahei hein? Aur Chanakya galat?

Bhagwan main to bas ithna kai saktha hoon. Mujhe kuch sapna hein. Kuch ichaa hai. Aur mujko ek zindagi jeena hai.  Aap mujko bahut conjus lakthe hain. Aur muj ko kuch samaj nahein aatha. 

Mujko Shridi jaana tha. Voh hua nahein.  Bhagwan ere mauth lelo. Mujko maar daloo.  Ya tho yeh zindagi mein kuch hai nehin, jo mein kar saktha hoon, jo mein paa saktha hoon. Mere zindagi to apni hath main nahin hai.  Kabi Dharma, Kabi Artha, Kabi Kama, Kabi Moksha.  Kabi Allah, Kabi Jannat, Kabi Narak.  Bhagwan muje bas do he rastein hain. Ek apka. Aur ek apna.  Aapka rastha mein koi azaadi hai nahin, Aapka raastha, shayad, sabse acha rastha, Lekin us raasta mein mujhe azaadi nahin dikhai diya.  Ek aur raas tha mera pas hain. Vo hai apna rastha. Usme aazadi hai, Usme dukh sukh aur gam aur kushi. Dard kaafi. Lekin usme kam dar hai. Voh mera raastha ho saktha hai. Shayad.  Bhagwan main tho kuch nahin jaantha hoon. Bas ithna jaantho hoon ki mera man kaisa laktha hai.  Shri Shirdi Sai Baba. Rasool. Allah, Rahim, Rehman.

Bhagwan mera mauth lejiye. Apna zindagi tho bezathi ho ri hai. Mera shareer theek sai kaam nahin kartha hai. Jo artha aur kama chainya voh mujko nahi aara hai.  Kismat kisi ki haath mein nahin hai. Theek hai, Bhagwan.  Jithna gaali maina aapko diya. Jthina gandighi aur ghatiya maina aapko diya. Bais saal ki shraddha tho diya appko Bhagwan. 

Aur jab mujhe aapko zaroorath thi, voh the bhi nahein.  Maine apse dosthi banani ki koshi ki. Aap ne kabi dost ne bana.  Bezati tab hui, aur aap ne kuch kiya nahin. App ne kuch ne kiya, Bhagwan. Tho theek hai, Bhagwan. 

Aap mukje maar daalo. Aap ke daya mujhe daya nahin lag raha hai. Aap ke madarth madathar nahin lag raha. Aap mujhe insaafi lak thein hain.  Lekin Bhagwan main kuch nahin jaan tha hoon. Aur mera mein kaafi ghamand hai. Yeh main bhi jaantha hoon.  Tho Bhagwan aap muje maar dallo. Kyunki Bhagwan, ab tho me apna rastha sai bhi nahin chal sakthoon. Bin shareer aur do saal ki dua bine jawab. Bahut manga hai. Bahut poocha hai. 

Mujhe aap ne galat kiya hai. Yeh aise mujko laktha hai. Ab aap hi bithao. Aap kuch badlenge ya nehin?  Nahein, tho mujhe maar daldo. Mera bezati hui, tab hi, or aap ne kuch ni kiya. Jab mukjo aap ki madarth ki sak zaroorath thi. Aap ne kuch ni kiya, Bhagwan.  Aur mera shareer ko muhe nafrat hai. Kaan, Aankhe, pair, sab kuch.  Tho Bhagwan main aap bhik maang raha hoon. Apke samne hum sub bhikahri hi hain. Bhagwan aap mujhe maardaldo .

Kyunki main tho apni rastha se chal nahi saktha hoon. Bezati hui aur yi shareer toot raha hai. 

Shridi Sai Baba. Rasool.  Thorda sai Daya lejiye. Mere baat ko suniye, meri Sachi ko maaniye.  Mein aap si kabhi jhoot na bola. Kya jaada maine maanga, Bhagwan?  Muhje tho Devatha bhi ne suna, aur maine inkei kahani bahut padi.  Bhagwan, meherbani mere. Aap mera mauth lijye.