#gaiaspoken 15

[wingherc]

@gaiaspoken

｢𓆄｣ There's no point in going back home to Cotes now, not when he's already in the Archimedes ward, actually. Though he was tempted to turn his phone back on, anxiety for what messages might load onto his phone when it goes back online creep into his mind. Hawks really didn't want to deal with that right now. He just...

Wanted to go home. And one statement rang through his mind.

'You are home, silly.'

Once he recalled that statement, that was when the heartache and longing had really set in. Hawks missed her more than he initially realized, even.

Shaky legs picked up to a brisk pace, muscle memory being the only thing dragging him to the residential area of Archimedes. Her home is tucked away in a private corner, the porch light indicating she was indeed inside. Which...Typically meant the front door was unlocked, at least, that's what he could recall from when he stopped by with flowers for her that first time he came over.

Well, hopefully it was unlocked, if not, he was about to scare the shit out of her by slamming into a locked door...

In one fell moment, Hawks pressed his body weight against the door as he pressed down on the handle, effectively swinging the door open. He looked a mess, those windswept wild curls were wild for all the wrong reasons. His eyes heavy with bags indicating he'd been sleeping like hell, and just in general how disheveled he looked, he just looked totally different from the last time she had seen him.

"Aerith!!" He called out, not that he really needed to, given he might've accidentally scared her with how loud his entrance was. But, just shouting her name was enough to make him realize the weight of it all, the weight enough to bring him to his knees at her front door. "Aerith..." Her name spoken in succession, like it was the only thing that could escape his tongue...And for the moment: that was true.

Hawks couldn't even vocalize anything further, as he felt his arms that were bracing him from the floor, begin to shake as he could only choke out some sobs. Tears welling up, and crashing against the hardwood floors. He couldn't even remember the last time he cried like this, let himself be exposed at his rawest and most vulnerable.

"I'm....Sorry." He starts, as he slowly drags his head up to meet her gaze, he didn't deserve her eyes on him. Yet, here they were. He felt like he put her through so much of his drama, and she asked nothing of him. It wasn't fair to her, no one should have to deal with that. But, she stayed anyway, dealing with his heroics and whatever else that entailed. Which, unfortunately: included this. "It felt wrong to just keep up with what we've built here. I had to run. Not to escape it..." As he spoke through his tears, eventually, he was able to at least bring himself to his knees, wiping at his eyes with his forearm. "It all hit me at once. The reality of what's going on. It was...Too much."

Then, flashes of Nagant's story align with his own in his mind, effectively: he was raised with the intention of being a weapon for the Commission, not much else. While that has no bearing to him in Spirale, it still weighed on his mind.

And that beckoned the question.

"Are you really okay with loving someone who was raised to kill?"