#fuuuuuuckkk man
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anonymous-fartist · 1 year ago
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Storytime under the cut :))
CW for MASTURBATION and general horniness
~~~ Just came TWICE in my bathtub after being pent up for literally weeks
Jesus fucking Christ I don't even know how to describe it, I've never cum so hard in my life. It only took me a few minutes to get there the first time, and just when I thought it was dying down and I could have a damn breather the second one came in a WAVE
Genuinely at least a minute and a half of just straight up bliss
Listening to my bf moaning through my headphones probably helped- but good lord that was heavenly. So glad I was home alone cos there is no way my housemates wouldn't have heard me
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icyfox17 · 9 months ago
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guys can i be real with you for a moment?
i really miss sandduo :(
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thebluester2020 · 10 months ago
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The Stranger [Pt.3]
Summary: You were a citizen of Natlan. In the nation of the Pyro Archon, you were constantly greeted by bloodshed and violence. A life that kept the finely tuned forces of the nation in balance until it completely shattered with the arrival of the Fatui. And you had the newly arrived Harbinger to thank for that...but, one fateful night it seems, you just happened to stumble upon a man who could possibly throw the Fatui out of your homeland entirely.
Warning(s): Wholesomeness sprinkled around, Il Capitano is a bit of a liar here, Capitano low-key manipulates your feelings, eventual smut, Imagined Natlan(?) (Obviously the nation isn't out yet so I'm using my imagination as to how things are + how the people function lol), good ol' angst at the end.
Note: Let's pretend that this didn't take me weeks to write because of the smut-
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MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ
"Fuuuuuuckkk..." He groaned as he stroked his dick. The imagination of you in his head, bouncing up and down on his dick eagerly, was maddening, his hand a poor imitation compared to what he believed you could really do to him.
The stranger's breath came out in hot pants as he stroked himself vigorously to the image of you in his head.
Your legs were spread across his lap as you looked at him with a teary gaze, your lips wet from your previous makeout session as you teasingly began to wiggle your hips. "C-Capitano..." You moaned out as you shakily reached for his hand, slowly bringing it to your sopping pussy.
"Please..." You moaned.
The sound of your sweet moans, breathy and begging for his touch. He swore that he was nothing short of a willing slave for you as he trailed his hands down your back, one parking on your hip whilst the other began to tease your clit. "Y/N..." He sounded so desperate, as if he was struggling to withhold himself from taking you like he's always imagined since the moment he admitted to himself that he was beginning to see you in a more romantic light.
"Please what?" He whispered, his arm wrapping around your back to hold you closer as he started to attack your neck with kisses. The hand that was teasing your pussy however was impatient, a finger hooking on the side of your panties to pull it to the side before a finger started to graze your wet entrance.
Your hips bucked into his finger at the action, trying to push his finger further in to which he quickly retreated his finger with a chuckle. "Speak or you won't get what you want," His breath sent shivers down your back as he pressed a kiss to your ear before lightly nibbling at the lobe.
He smirked at your sudden shyness.
You were so forward with him usually, you weren't exactly hesitant to share your thoughts with him in any other situation. "Shy? No need to be my flower," He whispered before he started to roll his hips against you, a guttural groan getting choked up in his throat at the contact.
"Look at how much I want you, I've been waiting for this since I met you..."
"Tell me what you want, I'll make your reward if you do so sweet..."
Your head was getting dizzier and dizzier from his words before you whispered "your finger" into his ear. The Captain didn't let you wait a single second more at your request before his finger entered your hole, rubbing and curling against your tight walls before you gasped when he hit a particular spot.
He spread his legs further out when you tried to close them, his finger hitting that spot with deadly precision. "Stay still," He ordered as his arm wrapped even tighter around you to cease your squirming, his head fitting in the crook of your neck as he started to mark you on every inch of skin available to him.
"Capitano, I-I'm...I'm gonna-" Your back arched as you froze, a drawn out moan tearing from your throat as your legs shook from the intensity of the orgasmn Capitano coaxed out from your pussy, hums of approval and whispers of wanting more leaving his lips as his finger slowed their assault.
As he brought his fingers up, he scoffed in amusement at your wetness coating the finger. "All from one finger? So messy..." He said, slipping the digit into his mouth before he moaned at both your scent and the taste.
"Delicious, but if you came this much from one finger. How will you do with my cock?"
A small ditzy smile crept onto your features as your hands traveled to Capitano's bulge, a hiss leaving his lips as you rubbed your hand up and down. "Let's find out~" You whispered. Your sudden boldness made the Captain's face tint pink before he suddenly picked you up and placed flipped you onto your stomach, ass in the air before you instinctively gripped the sheets below you in embarrassment.
A squeak escaped your puffy lips when you felt something twitch against your backside.
"Ready?" The Captain pressed a kiss against your shoulder blade as he aligned himself toward your entrance. When you tentatively nodded your head, murmuring a quiet "yes" of consent. The Captain made a sound of appreciation before he pushed his cock inside.
You immediately gasped for air as his cock rubbed against your insides, your body shaking as you struggled to take all of him inside. Hot tears birthing from a mix of slight pain, anticipation, and pleasure began to cloud your vision before his hips finally met your ass. The pleasure and burn of feeling the Captain so deep inside of you, you keened the moment he started to slowly grind against you. "S-So big..." You moaned. "T-Too- Fuck!" A sudden thrust of his hips made you choke on your words, eliciting a deep chuckle from the man above you.
"If you can't even manage this, how will you fare next time?" He hummed.
You moaned at the idea of there being a next time, his thrusts increasing in pace as you-
Suddenly, there was a knock at the Captain's door, snapping the poor man from the visions inside his head before he growled in annoyance. "What?" He responded, giving himself a final few strokes before he stuffed himself back into his trousers.
"Your presence is requested by Pantalone my Lord."
Oh, he truly couldn't wait to be reunited with you once this was all over.
.
.
.
"You're...you're back." You said in awe when you saw the stranger standing at your door.
"I am." He said, the act of him bending forward a little to enter your home making you more emotional than it should've. Admittedly, you had begun to start getting used to not seeing him around although the house was a hell of a lot emptier and lonelier than it was when he was with you. But...you couldn't just forget all the things you wanted to say to him, all the questions you had for him!
Why was he gone so long?
What happened between him at those Fatui soldiers?
Did he join the Fatui? Did he fight to try and reduce their numbers?
So many questions yet...as you rushed to hug his back, the familiar scent of Natlan's ash, his cologne and musk...it made you begin to tear up. "I am sorry," The stranger said, a hand slowly placing itself upon your own.
You sighed heavily at the sound of his voice, the deep sound threatening to make every bone in your body rattle as you simply responded by squeezing him harder. "You're fucking cruel for making me wait for you that long," You said. "And worry as well."
You were met with silence for a while before the stranger said- "I am."
"Why were you gone so long?" The question flew out of your mouth.
Yet, when you released him, your eyes narrowed at how long it took him to answer. Exactly what was he doing while he was gone? Your patience for his suspicious behaviors, dismissal of questions, and avoidance regarding who he was. "I was fighting off the Fatui,"
"Bullshit." You immediately responded. "You look better than ever-“ You smelled at him as he passed you. Was that cologne? “And smell good too. Where have you been?”
The stranger didn’t respond as he simply silently went to the living room, plopping down on one of the pillows as he proceeded to take off his cape before it folding it and setting it next to him. And all you were left to do was stand there and bite the inside of your lip. As much as you wanted to enjoy his return, announce and shout from the rooftops that your favorite stranger was home.
You didn’t know how many more secrets you could bear.
Something was off.
And you couldn’t shake the feeling it wasn’t anything good.
So, as you walked up to one of the pillows to sit down. You then let out a heavy sigh as your hands rested in your lap. “You need to tell me.”
He responded immediately with a scoff. “Tell you what?”
“Who you are.”
“Why?”
Your eyes narrowed. “Think about how it looks from my position. I let a man I’m not married with stay and practically live with me on the regular and I don’t even know his name?”
The stranger’s hand balled a little. “It didn’t seem to bother you before.”
“Because you weren’t gone for a month before,” The stranger looked to the side, causing you to reach over a little to place your hand on top of his own, the small action making your cheeks warm. “I…please, just listen to me. I just want to know more about you, know who are you. Is that so much to ask.”
It took an entire five minutes for him to respond and throughout that whole time...your mind was spiraling.
You struggled to withhold your tears, the one man you liked, the one who plagued your thoughts at every waking turn and made you feel as if you were dancing on clouds every time he was around...imagine that. He couldn't even tell you something so simple such as his name. Yet here you were still, still trying to create an excuse for him, brainstorming ideas as to who or what he was until...
"No," You sighed, making the stranger tilt his head slightly.
It was stupid.
Him?
Fatui?
Never.
A Fatui member would've killed you on the spot or tried to force you to join their army. He wasn't a Fatui member, despite his brooding silence and avoidance as to who he was and the likes...he was sweet, kind, and a good listener. He took you out to forage for flowers and helped out around the village whenever he was around! Sometimes he'd even bring you gifts or money, offering to buy food and the likes so that you could cook for you both.
He was a Fatui member.
It just wouldn't make sense.
"...You're- you're not one of them, right-"
The rest of your sentence caught in your throat when his other hand placed itself on top of your own. "I cannot give away my real name, I...I am important. It could put you in danger and, I do not wish for that importance to hurt you."
You let out a broken laugh, your head falling a little. "You're hurting me now, why can't you trust me?"
"I do." He said. "I promise you that I do, I'm scared, scared that you'll shun me if I tell you."
You bit the inside of your cheek, a part of you wanting to say that you wouldn't ever shun him, no matter what answer he gave you but...on the other hand? As you remember what happened outside of your home's walls, outside this very village? The bloodshed and horrors that came about by the hands of the Fatui? There was a single wrong answer he could give you.
If he were one of them.
You'd shatter.
So, you gripped his hand tighter and stared into the abyss of his helmet. "Promise me this then," You spoke firmly.
"Promise me that you're not one of them, a Fatui member."
He remained silent for a beat before he slowly nodded his head.
"I promise."
.
.
.
The next week was spent in relative bliss.
The stranger and you fell back into a comfortable routine. The two of you would sleep in separate rooms, wake up, and greet each other in the morning before you'd cook the two of you breakfast. The stranger would then announce his departure to train in the forest, which would leave you to either forage or help around the village before he'd return later that following evening.
But, on this particular day, when he returned.
The sound of door opening and closing along with heavy footsteps threatening to shake the floor of your home as he walked, when you came out of your room to greet him...he was covered in blood, head to toe.
"T-The hell!?" You shouted as you quickly rushed to help him sit down.
"What happened?!" You should as you reached to help take off his cape. Only, he swiftly held up a hand to stop you before he shouldered the cape off himself, folding it half-hazardly before setting it a little ways away from the fire. The stranger remained silent even when you came to sit down next to him, all before he sighed.
"...Will you help me bathe?"
Your eyes widened but, you slowly nodded your head. "Yeah...of course, c'mon." When you reached to touch him, he shook his head before once again raising a hand to stop you. You only responded with a sigh before you got up and went to the bath to prepare some water. It was a simple task to get hot water, lava pulsed just a little underneath the ground everywhere throughout Natlan, the only thing you needed to do was simply add water along with some scented flowers and herbs to make the bath smell good.
But, as the stranger appeared at the doorway, your eyes widened.
It was the first time you'd seen him without his helmet and...he was more handsome than you envisioned him to be. His skin was a deep tanned color with sharp stormy gray eyes with long black hair, matted in some places with...well, blood. And, when you squinted your eyes a little, you could see faint traces of stubble along his chin.
In truth? He looked like the epitome of a soldier. Hardened, battle-worn features with scars decorating his face as proof of his survival. Three claw-like scars ran across the left side of his face, a deep red in color that looked as if they hadn't fully healed yet. "This is the first time I've seen your face," You first said to break the silence.
You quickly averted your eyes when the stranger began to take off his clothes with a heavy sigh. "You should feel ashamed, hiding such a good-looking face from me."
He didn't respond, only responding by getting into the bath and sitting down to which...even as he sat, he was still a head taller than yourself. Yet, like his face, the rest of his body was covered in scars but his figure was broad and strong like an oak. Each muscle was defined and seemingly carved from the hot forges of battle all until you reached- You cleared your throat with a blush. "S-So! Aren't you going to tell me where all the blood came from?"
"No."
"Really?" Your eyes narrowed. "I'll be having to spend hours cleaning your clothes and you won't even tell me that?"
"It's nothing enjoyable."
"You go out to train every day, how come this day was different?!"
He swiftly turned his head to look at you with a glare. "Quiet,"
Your hands paused in washing him, his tone sparking a fire of annoyance within you. "Now, wait a minute." You hissed. "I'm not your fucking maid, I don't have to wash you, I don't have to clean you much less give a damn about you. I do it because I care, so don't get snappy with me."
He rolled his eyes with a groan. "I'm not getting snappy with you, I'm tired."
"You are getting snappy with me! I have a reason to ask questions when my free live-in housemate comes in soaked with blood!" You shouted before you scooted to look him in his eyes when he tried to turn away from you. "So I'll ask you again, where did all the blood come from?"
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geffenrecords · 10 months ago
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fuuuuuuckkk .. daves 2nd dui in 15 months...don't throw my man in jail. I know he'll do it again but I have a concert to watch.
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cosmicjoke · 10 months ago
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What the fuuuuuuckkk...
Yeah, this parallel is tearing my heart out and stomping all over it. I hate seeing Levi hurt, man. There's something so fundamentally wrong about it. I remember thinking that when the panels of Levi after the thunderspear blast dropped, and I'm thinking it now, with how beat up and frightened Levi looks in the "Bad Boy" panel. God, this poor, poor man. What a horrifically hard life he's had.
Also, I just want to say, Isayama's art looks spectacular in "Bad Boy". From the panels I've seen, the art is really beautiful. I don't think anyone captures emotion in the face better than Isayama.
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The parallel here is killing me. When Levi got severely injured versus when his Ackerman strength awakened
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loverboybrightsideghost · 2 years ago
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Oh My God
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bi-any-chance · 5 years ago
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So i was just woken up from a HOT and heavy sex dream about me and one of my celebrity crushes, and I have NEVER been SO DISAPPOINTED to wake up in MY LIFE. :/
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p1nkd20 · 2 years ago
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...FUUUUUUCKKK MAN what the hell am I supposed to do then??
Christ- my fucking head.. I-
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
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ms-newvegas · 3 years ago
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Not the morning to get a spam call!! If it had. Been a man I would have told him to eat garbage but it was a woman so I told her to “fuuuuuuckkk oooofffff I’m not stupid you’re another a shitty scammer” literally die if you all you do is lie and trick and manipulate in order to steal money from vulnerable people!!!
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raibebe · 5 years ago
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It ain't over is THAT bitch for me like I am ready for some FUCK especially because of Hyungwon's voice. Sweet christ. And all of Hyunwoo's vocals this album. Bruh. I am ready to SERVE that man. Ki's vocals in Chaotic though!? And the way rapline went hard in EVERY FUCKING SONGGGGG KYUN WENT HARD WITH HIS RASPY VOICE FUUUUUUCKKK AND MINHYUK!?? HELLO SIR HOW DARE!?
Chaotic and Zone back to back just send me straight into cardiac arrest for real. 
They all did so well in this album I swear to god. Hyungwon getting to open so many songs, Kihyun’s voice is crystal clear and beautiful as ever, Chankyun’s growling had got me on my knees, Minhyuk sounds so soft and smooth but strong at the same time, Shownu is just so gooooood and Jooheon just killed it with his flow like always.
Kings.
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sylvrain · 5 years ago
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HE DID IT HE GAVE KE HIS FUCKING SNAPCHAT
Just confessed to a guy I havent seen in months
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sadgittarius · 11 years ago
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it’s ya vanilla bitch audrey, but today u can call me the polite stranger’s mistress
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