#future fyi sounds deranged

[servuscallidus]

Oh boy

[rcmclachlan]

Relative Value (buck/tommy)

"And I feel for her, you know? I really do. The dissolution of a relationship, especially a marriage, feels like you're drowning in hot tar, and you spend every waking moment kicking your way to the surface to try and breathe. But if she brings up her divorce again while I'm in the middle of peeing? I'm going to divorce her head from her body."

Buck makes a face at the thought of Maddie's decapitated coworker. "Please don't send the 118 to that scene. I'm not so great with entrails these days. Send the 147—they deserve it after they botched that extrication on Monday." 

Maddie laughs, the sound tinny but comfortingly familiar coming through his phone's speakers. She'd propped her phone on Jee-Yun's dresser halfway through the call so she could put away laundry while she talked, and for the last five minutes he's been watching her fold Jee's clothes like she's being judged at the Olympics. 

It's nice to see that hasn't changed. Maddie should've been in jail years ago for the way she loads a dishwasher, but when it comes to laundry she's a goddamn wizard. When he was younger, his parents saddled him with taking out the trash and doing the dishes, but putting away the laundry was always Maddie's chore. She actually enjoyed it, the weirdo. She used to tell him the first whiff of warm Snuggle right out of the dryer was a cure-all. Also, she can fold a fitted sheet in under ten seconds. He'd timed her once.

Maddie takes an eye-wateringly orange shirt out of the laundry basket and with three decisive motions turns it into a perfect rectangle. If Jee ever decides she wants to go deer hunting, she'll be all set. "Since when are you not good with entrails?" 

"Since that guy was ripped in half last week."

It'd easily been the grizzliest car crash he'd ever been called to. It made the 405 pileup a few years back look like Disney on Ice. About halfway through tagging and bagging almost a dozen casualties strewn all over the westbound lanes of the Pomona Freeway, the guy responsible for the crash snapped awake while Hen and Chimney were setting up and drove off in a panic. The top-half of the motorist stuck under his car was dragged maybe sixty feet, and Buck had a front row seat to the sight of the poor guy's nerves and vasculature trailing behind him like squid tentacles before the driver came to a stop by hitting yet another car. 

"I'm also not eating spaghetti for the foreseeable future, FYI," he adds.

Maddie wrinkles her nose. "Okay, changing the subject: when do you leave again?"

It wouldn't be an overstatement to say the smile that question invokes explodes over his face. He feels it happen; the spark eats the fuse so quickly there's barely any lead-up and his cheeks burn from the sheer magnitude of the blast. 

"You look deranged," Maddie says, laughing.

"I feel deranged." He's been like this all week and it's starting to scare everyone. Chimney keeps leaving pamphlets for Clozaril in his locker. "Tomorrow morning. We're picking up the bird right after we do a coffee run."

"I wish my boyfriend was whisking me away to the mountains for a romantic getaway." Maddie heaves a theatrical sigh. "My husband says the best he can do is Shake Shack."

The whole thing is absolutely bonkers. He'd been minding his own business, half-watching a documentary about volcanoes with his feet in Tommy's lap, when they showed some insanely beautiful footage of Mount Rainier. And although his mind was focused on completing level 29 of Euclidea, his mouth was busy saying, "I've always wanted to go there." 

Thumb digging into Buck's instep, Tommy had made a thoughtful sound and said, "I'd tapped a buddy of mine to get us into Griffith Observatory after hours, but I like your idea way better. Let's do it."

If someone had told Buck 1.0 that someday a beast of a man would be flying him by helicopter to the Cascades for their two-year anniversary, he would've laughed his way into a pneumothorax. And then he would've tried to fuck his nurse. 

He looks across the living room to where their bags have been sitting, fully packed, since last night, and grins. "Tell Chim he needs to step up his game. You're worth Zankou, at least."

Maddie snorts. "Gee, thanks."

Behind her, there's unexpected movement, and every muscle in his body locks up as his heart stops in a moment of brief, blinding terror. 

It's stupid to feel this way after seven years, but a little part of him is still waiting for Doug to crawl out of the shadows like a wraith to finish what he tried to do. He's spent many a sleepless night spiraling to the soundtrack of Chimney's desperate, Do you know he's dead for sure? Did you see a body?

Buck did see his body, but a little voice sometimes whispers to him from some deep, dark place at two in the morning: it was freezing that day. It could've slowed the bleeding, could've kept him alive long enough to go to a hospital. You don't know what happened after the ambulance left with him. What if he survived? What if he's out there right now, just biding his time?

Which are bad and ridiculous thoughts to have because he knows that monster is dead, and frankly he's got better things to think about than Doug, who's absolutely having his skin torn off in hell right now—especially since his adorable, perfect niece is the one who came into the room. 

"Say hi to your uncle, Jee," Maddie says, smiling. In her hands, a pair of polka dot leggings becomes a polka dot brick with hospital corners. 

Jee-Yun jumps a little like she can't quite see him, and Maddie goes over to the dresser to obligingly tilt the camera down. 

"Hi, Uncle Buck." Jee-Yun waves, then rises an inch or two higher in the frame, and he realizes she's standing on her tiptoes. She cranes her head, moving it a bit from side to side like she's looking for something. After a few seconds, she drops back down, grimacing in disappointment.

He looks over his shoulder, but no one's there. "Sorry, kiddo, it's just me."

"Just you is fine, always," Maddie immediately pipes up, and he ducks his head with a smile. It's always nice to hear her say that. "It's just that… well, she had a question and we weren't sure if you were the one we should be asking."

Buck grins. "Lay it on me, Jee."

It's always a little hilarious to watch how Jee reacts when the spotlight's on her. She bounces and twirls a little, and her whale-spout pigtails move with her. For someone getting ready to enter kindergarten, she's got the stage presence of a Broadway star. "Uncle Buck, how do airplanes fly when they're so big and heavy?"

He opens his mouth to answer her, but there's nothing there, just an empty pocket of air that tastes vaguely like the ham sandwich he had for lunch. He closes his mouth with a click, stymied. He could've sworn he knew this one. Something about lift and drag?

"Jee, I-I'm sorry. I don't know off the top of my head. I could look it up for you?"

A little groan escapes her, but it turns into a shriek when a tie-dyed sweatshirt comes winging from off-camera and lands on her head. Jee wrestles the shirt away, static making her hair cling to her face, which she swipes with a whine. 

"That's why I wanted to ask Uncle Tommy!"

Buck has forgotten a lot about the tsunami. Time has softened the memory of how warm the water was, how it shoved its way into his mouth and nostrils like it was trying to find a way inside his veins, and that it was filled with so much debris it scored the insides of his cheeks bloody. But the one thing he never lost was how his feet went out from under him when that first wave hit like a freight train. He hasn't been able to ride a roller coaster since: he doesn't see the need to pay to experience the feeling of free fall again. He remembers every second of it like it just happened. 

He may be sitting on the couch with his feet firmly on the floor, but his stomach is thrilling at the familiar sensation of being completely unmoored. Only instead of being dragged into the dark, he's being pulled up into endless blue. 

Breathless with stratospheric joy, he digs his trembling fingers into his knees like it's going to do anything to keep him grounded, and chokes out, "Who, Jee?"

The look Jee turns on the camera is so confused that Buck isn't sure he was even using real words just then. It could've been a jumble of sounds falling from his mouth like aquarium gravel. 

"Uncle Tommy," Jee says, with the patient air of someone who forgot they were talking to an idiot. "It's okay if you don't know about airplanes, Uncle Buck. You drive fire trucks."

He's pretty sure he was just insulted. Behind Jee, Maddie's wide-eyed and mouthing an ecstatic oh my god! 

"Tell you what. When—" he swallows thickly, overcome "—Uncle Tommy wakes up from his nap, I'll have him call you and he can tell you all about how planes stay up in the air."

She mulls it over, and he can see the outline of her tongue poking the inside of her cheek like she's swishing the offer around in her mouth. Finally, she gives him two decisive nods of her head that has her pigtails bouncing. "Okay. When's that?"

"I-I don't know. Soon." If the lightning had struck a few feet away from him instead of dead-on, he thinks it would've felt like this. Any second now he's going to vibrate out of his skin and scar Jee for life. "Maybe I should go check on him." 

"I think that's a good idea," Maddie says cheerfully, coming into the foreground. Her eyes are glossy and red, and even with two screens and several miles between them it feels like she's about to wrap him up in the warmest hug. "Why don't we let you go for now? Uncle Tommy can give us a buzz later."

"Yeah, t-that sounds like a plan." He knows he's rocking the deranged look again, except it's somehow so much worse. He doesn't care. He hopes his face gets stuck like this. When he rolls into the station two weeks from tomorrow, he's going to take every pamphlet Chimney shoves at him and eat them.

Maddie's grin is threatening to split her face in half. "Give Uncle Tommy a big kiss from us."

He's going to do way more than that. "You bet. Bye, Mads. Bye, Jee!"

The very second the call ends, he's on his feet and practically running down the hall. Tommy had been coming off a rough 24 earlier when he'd sloppily kissed Buck and then staggered into the bedroom. It's been almost three hours and Buck hasn't heard a peep since. 

Buck makes sure to lift the bedroom door when he opens it so the hinges don't creak, and when he sees Tommy—sprawled diagonally across the mattress with his jeans still on and enough drool soaked into the pillowcase to fill a bathtub—his knees decide it's the perfect time to stop working. He clutches the door frame so he doesn't crumble to the floor under the weight of all this euphoria.

Jee thinks of Tommy as family. It's not hard to figure out the logic she must be using to get there: she has an Uncle Buck, who has had a Tommy for as long as she's been making real memories, and therefore… 

He can't help but wonder who else in the world is operating on that same intel. Jee has no doubt told the teachers at her kindergarten about her mom and dad and her amazingly cool Uncle Buck, but maybe she's also told them about her other uncle, who always lets her ride on his shoulders when they go to the park and who talks to her like she's a forty-seven-year old at brunch. Maybe she's told kids at the playground about the uncle who knows why planes stay in the air and who folded himself into a pretzel because she wanted him to sit next to her at the kids' table last Friendsgiving. Maybe she's drawn shitty pictures in crayon of two stick figures holding hands under a smiling sun, and when her classmates ask who they're supposed to be, she tells them, "That's my Uncle Buck and my Uncle Tommy." 

Inhaling shakily, he makes himself move from the doorway to the bed, crawling in as gingerly as he can. It's all for nothing, though, because Tommy cracks an eye open and fixes it on him. Buck scrunches his face up in apology, but Tommy just smiles a little and tugs Buck down, pressing his face into the space between Buck's neck and shoulder and settling with a hum.

Buck slides a hand into his hair and holds him close, breathing in old sweat and a hint of his own shampoo. "I love you, Uncle Tommy."

"If this is a new kink, I'm going to need at least another two hours of sleep before I'm prepared to tackle it," Tommy mumbles. 

Choking on laughter, Buck presses a kiss to the side of his head and wonders if it's possible to die of happiness. "Not quite. Your niece has a question about airplanes and wants you to call her when you wake up."

When there's no immediate answer, Buck is sure Tommy's fallen back to sleep, but then Tommy shifts a little in his arms, presses a kiss to his shoulder, and murmurs warmly, "Will do."

[mrbexwrites]

Can you tell me more about Searching for Starlight? It sounds cool, and I happen to be a fan of fictional cults haha

Hey Tashie!!

How're you?

Searching for Starlight was the first proper length sci-fi novel (approx 152,000 words!) that I wrote over two years of NaNoWriMo, and is currently sitting in first draft purgatory.

(I actually re-read it a couple of years ago, and it's not totally deranged given that it was a NaNo project! I could go back and salvage it, but I hate editing, so... I guess it's living in purgatory forever! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Searching for Starlight came about from a weird cheese dream I had about a planet getting devoured by a giant snake (FYI, I'm not a fan of snakes- I have a proper phobia of them, so this was not a pleasant cheese dream)

Originally, the character of Switchpace, was going to be the main character, but as a jaded commander of a spaceship, I found it hard to introduce a lot of the world as her and her shipmates would be familiar with the galaxy. I wrote this close to ten years ago, and have grown a lot as a writer- I think I could easily write the story as originally intended now, but at the time, I wanted a POV character who could ask questions, and be introduced to the sci-fi setting.

So the main character became Rashmi; a human girl whose family have been hosting the first alien who came to Earth, Osias. Osias landed in India because in the near-future India is the country with the largest human population, and because I'm tired of aliens always going to the US. Maybe they want to do some sightseeing!!

Due to plot-reasons, Rashmi and her family basically get put into space witness protection, and she falls under the care of Switchpace.

Shenanigans occur, and Rashmi finds herself facing off against a snake-worshiping death-cult in space who are trying to summon the end of the galaxy. It ticks a lot of sci-fi tropes and cliches if I'm honest.

I think the reason I've never gone back to it is multifaceted; I tried to increase the diversity of my cast- people of colour, disabled characters, LGBTQ+ characters, but as someone who does not fit into any of these categories, I worry that I've not done my characters justice, and that their stories are not mine to tell. They deserve better than a ham-fisted attempt at me trying to be inclusive, instead of regurgitating the all-white straight guy Sci-fi books that I grew up with.

So yeah, other than sharing snippets for tag games, I don't think much else will ever be done with this WIP. For all it's faults, I have a fondness for it because it was my intro to NaNo and the first proper novel that I churned out as an adult!

This probably doesn't really answer your question- sorry!! I just ramble away!!

[ryder616]

Rewatching One of Us

First things first: Ming Na Wen and Blair Underwood make a stunning couple. No wonder FitzSimmons forgot all about their interpersonal strife and immediately fell into shipping mode.😁

Any civilian marrying a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent would have to be a pretty awesome individual because it’s a crazy job that’s quite hard to relate to even when the rest of the world doesn’t think they’re all nazi-adjacent terrorists.

Dr. Andrew Garner is pretty awesome. Warm, smart, accomplished, entirely too charming and, as we’ll see in 2x17, completely supportive and not even a little bit threatened by his awesomely kickassing wife.

He also manages to make Daisy open up in just a couple of conversations, despite the fact that she’s at her most recalcitrant and defensive yet. Why S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t have a psychologist on staff permanently with all the craziness they endure will forever be a mystery. Too much Star Wars, not enough Star Trek in Coulson’s Netflix queue, perhaps?🤭

The episode also shines a (brighter) light on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s treatment of “gifted” people and it’s not a pretty picture. Cal’s new associates are “highly dangerous” criminals (Karla was an abuse victim first and we aren’t told much about Angar. Levi has no moral compass and Francis was a mob enforcer) but stashing people away in secret floors of mental institutions, subjecting them to physical implements that look like borderline torture (Angar’s especially) is a little fucked up, regardless.

May insists to Andrew that it’s a different S.H.I.E.L.D. but they’re dealing with Skye’s powers following the same old rules and preconceptions. Skye has exiled herself in the cage and Jemma is considering a pharmacological solution to “dull her emotions [...] as a stop gap measure” which parallels Francis’ containment. They’ve put her on the index and at this stage her powers are viewed exclusively as a danger to contain, a threat to assess (notably, by Skye herself as well). They’re making her comfort food and calling in charming psychologists but Andrew’s “None of it has changed” has merit.

And then Mack introduces us to “Real S.H.I.E.L.D.”. With hindsight, if that’s the change, I’m quite happy with the status quo, thank you. 😁

Daddy Dearest:

Cal forms his own little team of misfits to go on an ill-advised crusade against S.H.I.E.L.D., adding a few more dead bodies to his ledger and taking a bunch of high schoolers hostage in the process. Apparently, he hasn’t figured out yet that putting innocents in danger is *not* the way to his daughter’s heart. This little team leadership gig earns him a time-out in the company of the yet unidentified Inhumans and we learn that, on top of everything else, Cal is also a terrible house guest. Note to self: if deranged parents of future superheroes come to visit, hide all the furniture.

She’s Got the Powers:

The bruising was caused by capillary ruptures in your arms. X-rays showed more than 75 hairline fractures from your clavicle to your fingers.

Gordon will say that most (Inhuman) gifts come with a price and this is Daisy’s, though at this point is still strictly presented as a  control issue. Trying to “lockdown” her powers just redirected them inward. The risk to herself when she overuses her powers for an extended period of time will be introduced later.

Stuff that crossed my mind:

S.H.I.E.L.D. implanted Levi with a chip to make it impossible for him to use electronics. I suppose it’s a good thing they had bracelets by the time Skye came around, uh?

I know. I sound bat-guano crazy. Except S.H.I.E.L.D.’s not so mighty anymore. A handful of agents. Director is a door-to-door salesman of a man. You don’t sound bat-guano crazy. You are bat-guano crazy. You’re also not the first to underestimate Coulson. FYI, it never ends particularly well for the underestimator.

I got to say, Director, no doubt, the best grilled cheese I’ve ever had. -- Secret ingredient. Don’t ask. I will not disclose. Head-canon: he disclosed it in The Letter(tm), that’s what made her laugh.

I assume you’re putting me on the gifted index. -- We are. And doesn’t she look thrilled. Just so you know, I’m side-eyeing you right now, Phil. Also doing my hate face. There may even be glaring.😒

My entire life, I've been searching for my parents, and my search ended with answers that are so much worse than I could have imagined. And yet, this isn’t as worse as it’ll get.

Protocol is anyone on the index undergoes a full psych eval and threat assessment. Normally I would snark about your stupid protocols that were after all constantly ignored or sidestepped in S1 but frankly you could all use a good therapist. Mack’s first hire when he got the director’s job should have been one. There’s only so much that beer and pizza nights can do.

The mist triggered something inside them, something waiting to be activated. But how Skye is able to [...] create a vibrational force? That I don't understand at all. Well, her newly activated macromolecules contain a protein called Plotin, which is responsible for all kinds of fascinating metabolic reactions and...nevermind, it’s a long explanation. I’ll send you the paper 😁

We're spies. We lie for a living. Stab in the dark here, but it sounds like you may have some trouble separating personal and professional.

I have to accept that he's different now and our relationship won't ever be what it was. -- Little early to sound the funeral bells, don't you think? -- A betrayal of trust like that, it changes everything. Can you feel it? The five years old emotional imprint of millions of shippers crying out in terror?  😉 Also, Bobbi, are you worried about you and Hunter just yet?

Culver University. The go-to higher learning institution for the academically-inclined Marvel characters.

Why me? Is Skye that bad? -- She’s that good. Good agent. I’m her S.O. Yes, Andrew, it’s all out of very professional concern as I’m sure you will figure out 30 seconds into your first conversation with Skye.

You show up asking for a favor, but when I called you after S.H.I.E.L.D. collapsed to check if you were all right, not a word. -- It was a busy time. Well, I think there was at least that one night at the motel with everyone chilling...but I won’t rat you out. 🤫

My sessions with her are in private. My evaluation won't be. She gets a copy. My duty is to her, not S.H.I.E.L.D. Oh, I love him already.

I did not know that you were married. -- Now you do. -- He seems nice. Fitz trying personal small talk with May. A year ago he would never have dared.

I appreciate the extensive and thorough debrief, Agent Simmons. -- My pleasure. I know that look, Jemma. And I fully agree. 😍

Did you guys have actual conversations? You know, like, pillow talk, or was it just pillow stern looks?🤣 None of the Bus Kids can reconcile the May they know with the May that married Andrew but the sad reality is that the laughing, teasing May that surprises Fitz a few scenes later is May. Or used to be. And Daisy’s attempts to avoid talking about herself are inadvertedly picking at a very painful scar.

Of course. You're an agent. And I imagine you must be afraid that you're gonna lose that. There’s no fooling, stalling, flustering or derailing this one, Daisy.

How does it feel when it's happening? -- It's terrifying. One of Daisy’s “happiest” scenes is in S4 when, about to regain her powers in the Framework, she grins in gleeful anticipation, welcoming what the first time around was terrifying and marred by tragedy. Then of course S5 happened and her powers were once again something she feared.😩

A little gossip won you some points. -- I appreciate you giving me permission to disclose details when necessary. It’s so sweet that May did this and that she knew it would work.

Yeah, they're a bizarre pair. He listens for a living, and she doesn't speak. 🤣 FitzSimmons are shipping Meldrew hard enough that it distracted them from their current friction and they slipped back into their comfortable back and forth.

So he got his hands on some experimental steroids. Left him incredibly strong. Brains? Not so much. -- God doesn't give with both hands. Says the stunning statuesque blond who is a martial arts expert, is fluent in several different languages, has a PhD in biology... 🤨😁

Sir, these people are on the index, but they're not exactly gifted. -- They were considered highly dangerous. A larger part of the index functions as more of a watch list. Which is fine. For people with a criminal history. The fact that the same watch list houses the crazy serial killers and people who are only there for a quirk of dna or the occasional freak accident is a bit of an issue! (yep, glaring now).

Coulson was born in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, where his dad was both the high school football coach and history teacher (is that common in American HS? Seems weird). He died when Phil was nine and was a car enthusiast as we will learn next episode. Cal is also - likely - from Wisconsin as well. He owns property and had a practice in Milwaukee where he and Jiaying had planned to raise their daughter.

How about you show me an inkblot and I'll tell you about my first time? -- Humor. So that's your thing. [...] Good pep talk. Thanks. -- Sarcasm. Same purpose. Avoidance strategy. Oh, he’s got you pegged.

Dinner. Got your favorite. Hawaiian. Meat and fruit? Doesn't really work for me. It works, but not on a pizza! *cries in Italian*

Hey, look, man, I'm just doing what has to be done. Oh, good grief, not you too.🙄

Look. You put me on the index. You're doing my intake assessment. How about we let my dad know? So he can become...angrier? 🤔

Here's a fun fact. He killed the man I had been plotting to kill for 2 1/2 decades! Disappointment! I hear you, buddy. I’m still a bit peeved Whitehall went out that clean.

What did you do?! -- Took a cue from S.H.I.E.L.D. We took their potential and contained it, inhibited it like you do. -- To criminals, not cheerleaders. Is this a bad time to inform you that you’re basically gonna order Jemma a pair of quake-containing gloves by the end of the episode? Though I suppose Daisy is not a cheerleader either and you were worried about the bigger picture. *calming breath* 😤

You won't kill her.  Yeah, he’s crazy, not stupid.

We need to understand more about their powers, especially how to stop them in case that becomes necessary. This is a priority, Agent Simmons. [...] And, Agent Simmons keep this between us. Don't bring anyone else in. “Anyone else” mostly meaning Fitz, I think.

I'm recommending Skye leave S.H.I.E.L.D.altogether. It's too much for her to deal with. Emotionally, physically. She needs to be somewhere safe to do that. Well, there is this cozy little cabin in the woods but paranoid assholes will wreck it. And this even cozier place somewhere in the Himalayans with her mom but then the same paranoid assholes will show up and her mom will react...poorly... 😩

She is safe with us. -- You really believe that? After Bahrein? You, better than anyone, know how badly this can end. Five years ago me was likely screaming at this point, as (im)patiently waiting for full disclosure of relevant characters’ backstory isn’t my strong suit. 🤣

We’re as close to a family as Skye has. Coulson said it in 1x14, Skye said it in 1x19 and now it’s May’s turn.

But now Bobbi and I work for an organization, an outlier that came out of the wreckage from what Fury left. [...] S.H.I.E.L.D. The Real S.H.I.E.L.D. My very dear Mack. Your “I’m the guy who kills Gordon” face is wasted for this. And the rounded shield logo looks better. 😛

There is no "us." You're not one of us. You're a science experiment. Well, technically, so are Inhumans. You’re just a few millennia removed from when the experiment took place.