#funny how all of this applies to brown parents too

[captain039]

PART 5 Stains of red

Astarion x omega!reader

Warnings: Vampire things, blood, light gore, witch things, fantasy things, swearing, age gap, heats, smut, shameless flirting, virgin reader, indulging in pleasure xD, pining, jealousy

Previous part <-

Astarion didn’t visit the next few days and you avoided seeing anyone. You needed supplies, but didn’t find the energy to do anything. Pax was always with you except for night time, worried caws and gently pecks. You’d pet his head from time to time enjoying the soft black feathery feel. You jolted awake to a knock and frowned seeing the sun still up, you must’ve fallen asleep. You opened the door seeing a stranger, a traveller.

“Sorry my lady, I’m terrible lost” the alpha said.

“Oh course, just follow this path, you’ll get to the village” you said pointing to the path going to the forest.

“Thank you my lady” he nodded his head and flashed you a brilliant smile.

“My names Ivis” he said holding his hand out. You went to shake it, but instead he kissed the back of your hand making flush slightly and say your name.

“Beautiful name, May I ask why’re you out here by yourself?” He asked and sighed thinking, another alpha who can’t see an omega surviving by herself.

“I’m the village witch I suppose” you shrugged.

“Oh how wonderful!” He said and you frowned, not the usual reaction.

“Perhaps you could help me” he flushed embarrassed.

“I’ve got this problem, on my back it itches like hell, I think I bathed in something bad in a river” he grimaced.

“Oh of course come in” you said stepping out the way so he could step in. He set down his backpack outside and headed in. You caught more of his scent, something infecting him, but a nice spice to him.

“Just in that room on the chair” you pointed and he nodded going to it and sitting down. He took off his jacket and you saw tattoos down his arms, strange swirls and patterns. He shrugged off his shirt, he was all muscle, probably from travelling a lot, his tattoos going up and circling in and end on his shoulders. You winced though seeing the angry red rash on his back, yellow infection seeping from where he scratched.

“Oh boy” you muttered going to moosh up some ingredients.

“Bad right?” He laughed.

“I’m sorry” you quickly said and he chuckled.

“It’s alright I know it’s bad, it feels bad” he said and you smiled. He was carefree in a sense, good humour.

“This may sting and be cold” you said and he nodded bracing himself making you smile. This big alpha probably swam in a gross swamp, thinking nothing of it and got this rash and ignored it for weeks. He hissed slightly when you applied the salve and you apologised. Though you could heal it with magic instantly, you felt he was more into the medical approach.

“I should’ve said I can heal this with magic” you said softly and he shook his head.

“I don’t mind, magic is hard, draining on the body, wouldn’t want you to waste your beautiful energy on me” he said and your heart jumped a bit.

“Besides magics quick, I can talk to you this way and come back” you could hear his grin and couldn’t help but, chuckle.

“There” you finished up gently placing a cool towel over it and he groaned.

“Oh that’s much better” he said and you chuckled.

“Gods this good” he added and you laughed shaking your head as you sat across the table from him.

“How long have you been out here?” He asked soft brown eyes looking to you.

“My whole life, my parents died when I was young, Asta-“ you stopped, Astarion had traveled a bit, you didn’t know who he had bad blood with.

“I’m sorry” he said sadly.

“My parents died too, not that young, when I was twenty. Headed on a ship and never came back” he sighed.

“I don’t know if they died though, I assume so” he shrugged lightly.

“Then I just started travelling” he shrugged.

“Who took care of you though?” He asked head slightly tilted.

“The villages aided me, funny really they all chipped in to raise me” you lied with a chuckle, hell the villages were not allowed near you, Astarion was territorial. Talking with Ivis was calming and nice, he was easy to talk too and a good laugh. By the time you knew it, it was night time.

“Gods its night already, I best leave you” he said and you stood checking his back, all the liquid from the had soaked in, leaving dry leaves and flowers.

“I’ll wipe this off first” you said wiping the remnants off. His back was less red and angry now.

“It feels much better than you” he said putting his shirt on gently.

“Of course, you may want another layer tomorrow, I can make you some” you said going to your bench.

“No, no it’s ok, I’d like to come back” he said and you turned to him slightly shocked.

“Oh, yeah of course” you said cheeks hot.

“Thank you again Y/n” he said and you nodded avoiding his eyes.

“You’ll want to see Lily at Lilys garden, she has the best hot meals and then head over to Haira at sleep and dreams for lodging” you recommended leading him to the door.

“Thank you very much” he smiled and you smiled back, he looked even better in the moonlight.

“Try to avoid sleeping on your back tonight” you added.

“Yes ma’am” he chuckled and you smiled shaking your head.

“Have a goodnight” you said as he waved and left.

“Goodnight” he called. You smiled, but frowned slightly at the overly glowing red eyes staring at you through the forest.

Next part ->

[itsnotmourn]

Im gonna start designing warrior cats Hazel and Mori but I would love to ask. How does the naming system work?

I am SO glad you asked /pos.

Now, my time has come to spill my brainrot to you about the warrior cats naming system, at least how I personally handle it!

So, the names are comprised of a two words, a prefix and a suffix.

PREFIX

The prefix usually describes the cat’s appearance in some way, like their fur colour/pattern or physical size.

It also must make sense location-wise or socially appropriate if that makes sense? A parent wouldn't call their kitten Chaoskit (that's like calling your kid Doom lol) and a cat who lives around a humid and sandy desert wouldn't be able to call their kitten Penguinkit.

Prefixes are often nature, animal or colour words, but you can have more fun and choose something more vague or meaningful.

For example:

White- -> a (mostly) white cat

Small- -> an undersized cat (for their age/physical development; you can be funny and be ironic with this)

Berry- -> any variation of ginger, light brown, calico/tortoiseshell and black/white

Bear- -> a big and/or brown or black fur. If the AU was placed in the Arctic regions, white would also be okay (i.e polar bear), so with certain plants and animals, it just depends!

Natural compound words like Hazelnut (winks), Foxglove or Bluebell are okay to use as well; they are real life plants, after all! In this case, it's generally suggested to have shorter suffix after to make it easy to say :3 /nf

In my AU, only the word Star is off-limits, because Star is treated like an sacred honourific for "Leader".

SUFFIX

The suffix then describes the cat’s greatest skill, a personality trait, appearance (in this case, it must relate to the prefix) OR status in the colony.

-fur is for appearance or no-discernible skills (but this is not a bad thing)

-fire could honour the cat’s nature when in battle; it could also note a short temper

-tail could honour the cat’s balance nature; OR it could continue with the prefix (e.g. Curlytail -> a curly tail or Rosetail -> the tail is distinctively red)

-paw states the cat’s status as an apprentice (cat version of young teenager).  This means that they are still learning about the clan, how to hunt/fight, etc.

The few times this naming rule doesn’t fully apply is when outsiders (strays or house cats) join the clans as they may not want a name change. It's usually encouraged though. Carmen is too cool for that. Good for her.

NAME EXAMPLES

You might need to be careful with the more... vague or spiritual words but if you can justify why, most combinations are possible! Here are some examples to help you understand a bit more:

Mountaindew -> mountain (tall height with grey/brown fur) + dew (protector)

Garfield -> gar (as in the fish; grey or brown fur, might have spots) + field (open-minded... because fields are open DO YOU GET IT)

Smokeweed -> smoke (grey or dark grey fur) + weed (a friendly personality; basically a people person but as a cat... because weeds are everywhere. haha)

Songflower-> song (a vague word, any appearance is okay) + flower (a good teacher; nurturing nature)

Hopekit -> hope (any appearance is okay, it is a meaningful word with many reasons; maybe they were born sickly and the parent gave them the name so that they become strong adult) + kit (a rank suffix; it is baby)

Sunflowertuft -> sunflower (ginger/golden fur) + tuft (has some cool tufts of fur here and there lol)

If you look up “warrior cats prefix (or suffix)”, many people have made lists with possible meanings. Have fun!

[todayisafridaynight]

A thing I really enjoy about the Arakawas is that--while some say Ichiban and Arakawa actually being blood-related undermines the found family themes--the themes are reinforced in so many different ways and so well. It's exactly like you said, they find one another without even knowing it; I think even Jo took a while to put two and two together, if I remember correctly.

A detail I always come back to is the way that, at least in their teens, Ichi and Masato both resemble the "opposite" dad more than their own; Masato's the clean-cut introvert with the loving father living in relative comfort and Ichi's the scrappy youth with no father, roaming the streets and picking fights for money.

Like I joke about Masato having two brown-haired parents and ending up with black hair and Ichi having (at least one) black-haired, brown-eyed parent and ending up with brown hair and gray eyes, and I know it's genetically possible, but it just works so well. (Also never going to stop thinking about how, initially, the reason Ichi has a punch perm is because he was supposed to be "copying" Arakawa, though that design for Arakawa didn't end up sticking.)

Of course, both of them start to resemble their bio dads more as they age, but still. And I think there's an argument to be made that Masato is purposely designed in a way where both Jo and Arakawa could believably be his biological father, but if I were to go a step further, I think that design sensibility applies in some ways to Ichiban, too.

I'm definitely not a Jo Was Ichiban's Biological Father truther, but I would consider myself a Jo Is Ichiban's Last Remaining "Family" truther. And in forming a "cohesive family unit" that both transcends and demonstrates blood ties, I think the design and writing choices are significant.

I probably wanted to bring it up in the previous ask about Jo and Arakawa's relationship but either forgot or thought it meandered too far, but the way Ichiban says in the epilogue he's "reporting to" Arakawa about Jo's prison sentence, like it's something he should know and would want to know--the fact he even followed the case closely enough to know the sentencing before Nanba told him--is such a big deal to me. Also. When Ichi said "Look, I like this life with Arakawa-san, the captain, and even you!" to Mitsu despite Jo giving him no reason to be happy to have him in his life. OOGH.

I also don't want to (publicly) go off the deep end too much with Y8 and Gaiden speculation, but I of course think it's notable that Jo and Arakawa bookend the voices addressing Ichiban at the start of the Y8 teaser trailer as well.

According to Yokoyama, the lines were all newly-recorded for the trailer, except Arakawa's which is from "a flashback scene" (I haven't had a chance to actually take a listen and verify which one, if it's from Y7). However, I have... no idea what Yokoyama meant when he said (roughly) "Don't miss Sawashiro's line at the start! But there's still a while to go, so we'll see." Yokoyama. Please. What Do You Mean By That. What Will We See.

Honestly, I don't think Arakawa and Ichiban being related by blood undermines the found family aspects of Y7 either. They still exist, especially in Ichiban and his friends. Moreover, I don't think it'd be right just to constrain Y7's themes to 'found family' and to extend the idea to 'familyhood' as a whole: it's fairly apparent a theme in the game is that it shouldn't matter if two people are related by blood, all that matters is the bond between them and the roles they play in each other's lives (as Ichiban asserts at the end of the game not just with Arakawa and Kasuga-san being his dads, but with Masato and how Ichiban saw their brotherhood).

Ichiban and Masato having aspects of both Jo and Arakawa- though blatantly logical in Masato's case- is funny/interesting for Ichiban's (I know I kept joking about teen Ichiban and Jo having the same haircut, so I've definitely noticed at least some parallels between them lmao). To continue, I do agree that even if Jo isn't a great family figure to Ichiban, it's still inarguable he is a part of Ichiban's family and exists as the last connection between Ichiban's life before and after prison, so it's fair he should have some bits of Jo a part of him as well. You mention it later on in this ask so I'll talk a little more about it then, but if the beginning line of LaD8 is anything to go off of, Ichiban doesn't harbor too much bad blood towards Jo anymore. I doubt they'll have a SUPER close relationship (especially with Jo in prison), but I think it's better that way frankly.

To extend on some previous bits of mine, these moments really do help solidify the family dynamic of the Arakawa Family. It might be a tidbit that's occasionally forgotten or overlooked, but Jo has been in Ichi's life just as much as Arakawa was. Evidently, Ichi didn't become attached to Jo like he did to Arakawa, but they've at least co-existed for just shy of a decade together. Especially with Jo being so close to Arakawa himself (never mind being the person Ichiban seems to report the most to), it's going to cause Ichiban to develop SOME kind of bond with him (though that doesn't automatically mean it'll be an amicable one). At the very least, and it might be a side affect of Ichiban's good nature, but it shows a lot that even after Jo was right about to amputate him, Ichiban doesn't harbor any ill will and- at most- just laments how he and Jo don't see eye-to-eye on what it means to be a yakuza. Maybe it's because this probably isn't a first-time occurrence, but coupled with his comment to Mitsuo, it's at least apparent Ichiban is trying to keep the peace between them. Especially when it comes to 'reporting' to Arakawa at the end, there are a few ways to take this activity honestly. It could be that Ichiban's devotion to Arakawa runs deep enough that he's willing to go out of his way to track Jo and keep him posted, but it's much more likely that Ichiban was motivated to keep watch of Jo's case not just for Arakawa's sake, but also for his own personal interest. Again, at this point Ichiban sees Jo as a part of his family despite their rocky relationship: family's a complicated subject anyhow, it's hard to understand why someone should feel inclined to care about someone when they don't give them a fair reason to.

And back to this bit I alluded to earlier, it's so funny you bring this up because I actually planned on talking about Jo's line in the LaD8 trailer the day this ask was sent (and by 'talk about it' I just meant hyping myself up by remembering it existed). I'm 99% certain Jo's line at the start is roughly 'It's been a while, Ichi', suggesting that Ichiban might be visiting him in prison in this potential scene. I don't want to speculate too much either in the case I give anyone a lot of hope, but it's definitely something I'm excited to see come to fruition next year! I'm also curious about the inclusion of Arakawa though. I don't doubt there'll be flashback segments in LaD8 due to the series' love for them, but if there are supposedly new lines, I wonder what those could be..

[bccksmarts]

VERSE NOTES: Sherlock

⤷ Primarily for the actual BBC version, but specifics ( name, gender, family, etc ) still apply for the Wizarding World version as well

Under the cut as this could get rather long ♡

Name: Hermione Jean Holmes DoB: September 19th 2016 Gender: Female Sexuality: Bisexual with a Male Preference

Family: • Molly Hooper — Mother • Sherlock Holmes — Father • Mycroft Holmes — Uncle • Eurus ( and/or Enola depending ) Holmes — Aunt(s) • John Watson — Uncle / Godfather • Mary Watson neé Morstan — Aunt ( Deceased ) • Rosamund "Rosie" Watson — Cousin • Mrs. Hudson — Aunt / Godmother • Greg Lestrade — Uncle

Biography ( WIP ) Hermione was born to Sherlock Holmes and Molly Hooper not too long after the events of "The Final Problem", making her younger than Rosamund Watson, her non-blood related cousin. John, her uncle and godfather, tends to call Hermione a ❛little miracle❜ as no one would've guessed that Sherlock Holmes would ever partake in something so intimate, let alone creating a child. Everyone had come to know the man be mostly emotionless, showing his care for his friends in subtle sorts of ways.

But alas, it seemed he had a lot of emotions when it came to Molly Hooper, his pathologist. Especially after the events of Sherrinford and that phone call.

Hermione was born with a head covered in little brown curls ( colour from her mum, curls from her dad ) and a pair of dark brown eyes ( another Molly trait ). However, the things that started to appear as she was growing up was her freckles that were spread across her face, primarily over her cheeks and her nose.

By the time she turned 11, Hermione's curly hair was passed her shoulders, wild and out of control, with a curly fringe falling across her forehead—a detail that she seems to keep. And growing up from that, her height hits a total height of 5'3", near the same height as Molly.

Being the child of two rather smart people, Hermione was extremely gifted with her intellect. She couldn't do the whole ❛mind palace❜ thing her dad could do, but she was close. She could at least make deductions; not as thorough, but very close. She likes to read and study, learn everything that she possibly can and her memory can hold all that information without her having to pull out the book ever again. With her smarts and want for learning, Hermione seems to get bullied for it throughout school—primarily by a snooty platinum haired boy that she just can't be bothered with. Apparently his father heard of everything that happens when it comes to his son—pathetic, really. Throught the years, she obviously has some distaste for him, but also grows other feelings, too, which she'd attempt to deny.

However, she had made friends with two of the boys in her class. Ronald ❛Ron❜ Weasley, son of Arthur Weasley & Molly Weasley ( yes, she finds it funny both of their mums have the same first name ), and Harry Potter, son of James Potter & Lily Potter. Ron went on and on about how large his family is, several brothers and a sister. Harry was similar, but his family was more... detached. He had two uncles, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, and he went on to tell her how amazing they were. She believed it, too. Explaining her family to them was a tricky thing, considering her dad was pretty much famous ( thanks to her Uncle John's blog, no doubt ), but she did so anyway.

Throughout her years of study, Hermione takes the subjects of Chemistry, Biology, Clinical Science and Biomedical Science, as well as grades in Medicine and Surgery. She wants to be a doctor when she's old enough, to help those in need and to figure out causes of illness, injury or even death. Some could say she was ambitious in what she wanted to do, but how could she NOT be when her parents were the people they were? She was inspired to be a potential pathologist, doctor and detective if the need ever arose.

Molly, a cat lover and who had a very cat of her own, Toby, gifts Hermione her very own kitten for her 13th birthday. He was so small at first, but very fluffy with ginger fur. His face looked like he was always a bit grumpy, but Hermione loved that about him. And of all the names she decided to call him, she chose ❛Crookshanks❜.

[merrock]

CHARACTER INFORMATION

face claim: Nathalie Emmanuel

full name: Fallon Priya Harris

nickname(s) / goes by: NA.

pronouns & gender: she/her/hers and cis woman 

sexuality: pansexual

birth date: September 20th, 1988

birth place: Brooklyn, New York

arrival to merrock: Summer 2019

housing: the suburbs

occupation: Digital Security Specialist / Hacker

work place: NA.

family: Three younger siblings aged 22-28 not living in Merrock currently

relationship status: single

PERSONALITY

At first glance Fallon is incredibly standoffish, some might even chalk it up to her intelligence level that she seems like she might be too good to talk to just anyone, but the truth is, she’s incredibly nervous around people. Even growing up in two big cities didn’t make her a social butterfly and doing the job she does for a living, seeing the things people get up hidden behind closed doors makes it hard for her to trust people. Even though that’s all that Fallon wants, to build a small friendship group, but she often struggles with how to come out of her shell. Once you do get to know her though she’s quite funny with a laid back boho vibe about her.

WRITTEN BY: Bri (she/her), est.

BACKGROUND / BIO

Intelligence broke the mold when Fallon was born, from the moment she was probably too young, books of all kinds stole her time. Growing up on the mean streets of New York City gave her some distinct advantages, garnering not only book smarts, but street smarts. When you grow up as the oldest in your family there are certain obligations that followed. Making sure her siblings were safe any time they left the house, that homework was done before school the next day. It wasn’t that they had absent parents, her parents worked hard to keep a nice roof over their head, make sure they had nice clothes, good food, but in the city that meant working a lot. Being that Fallon had too often look after her younger siblings, her time fell to building and working on computers, developing a fascination for all things dark web. Often she could be found jotting things down, tinkering around, perfecting her ability to go undetected online. When it came time for college, with the top grades she had, she took a leap and applied for some of the top universities in the country. Figure there was no chance they’d consider her, already her mind planning on attending a local university in the city. Given she didn’t have a rich family, an overly filled it resume of extracurricular activities, there was no possible way that she’d be considered. Only Fallon landed two full scholarships to Georgetown and Brown, and a slew of other acceptances. Only it was her acceptance to the University of Oxford came calling did she pack up as much as she could between four large suitcases and jump across the pond.

The next ten years would be spent blending into the world of the British, perfecting her accent, and continuing to hone her time delving into the unknown of the internet and computer science. Upon graduating from university and graduate school, Fallon was accepted into many prestige companies with the top security systems in the world. Tinkering around, figuring out the ins and outs, while working for covert projects as needed. Her knowledge of hacking is endless, employees often regarding her as one of the best. Only even as the best, the pay didn’t often show that. It wasn’t until she received a job offer, seemingly out of nowhere, in the town of Merrock did Fallon decide it was time to repack her bags and make her journey back to the United States. This job was one that paid more in six months than the job she was currently at would in two years, it was almost a no brainer, in that aspect. Fallon moved to Merrock and is often found with computer bag in hand wandering around town, making her office wherever the dark skinned woman sits. Perks of being able to hack, you could do it from anywhere. Given she works in highly classified security systems, she often keeps to herself, finding herself more cautious than she used to be when she lived in New York City or even when she first entered university. Often slightly paranoid people were watching, or judging her for her sometimes – more often than not, nerdy personality. Her only ability to clear her mind when she zones out while doing her twice weekly yoga classes or when she’s wandering through her garden, letting those pieces of what she does for work behind closed doors.

[quillify-tries-to-talk]

Signs of Abuse in Friendships!

Coming back here to talk about abusive friendships and how they're equally bad as romantic relationships k thnx.

Some of the things in this list might be pretty obvious, but I'm still putting it out there, because a lot of times as teenagers, it escapes us that the people we grew up with can be toxic too. Emotional abuse can be pretty hard to spot and it took me more than 7 years to realize that it was never my fault for being the way I am.

I'm currently with a group of great friends, and here's what I've learnt about friendships that you should expect, and you absolutely deserve:

1. Communication. Being listened to, instead of being the listener all the time. It's fine to be kind and understanding and keep secrets, but everyone has limits. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that my supposed best friend only reached out to me whenever *she* needed help or *she* had troubles, turning a blind eye to the fact that I was slipping through the cracks too.

With my new friends, it feels freeing and refreshing to discuss problems. Cathartic, because they value my input and sympathize and offer their own experiences and support and affirmations

2. Your alone time being valued. Pretty obvious. I've seen posts about normalizing that sometimes people are busy with their own lives and cannot be at be at their friend's beck and call all the damn time. I learnt this in a surprising way: whenever I had a tendency to drop off the face of the earth to recharge, or didn't want to talk, my friends would take it in a stride. It's a little thing, but it was shocking becaude I was made to believe previously that I had to be available all the time or else I wasn't a good friend. Which leads me to my next point.

3. Opinions and disagreements are healthy. Resolving arguments through debate and negotiation is absolutely fine in friendships. It's an equal partnership. Once again, it hit me in the face with my new friend group when they asked why I kept apologizing for stating my thoughts or if I disagreed for anything we planned. If, even in normal conversations, you feel as if you have to walk on eggshells in the presence of that friend, you have to mind *their* feelings and *their* tragic story, then it's a huge red flag.

For me, it used to be low-level anxiety in the presence of that friend, a feeling that I wasn't really in control of myself, absurd as it sounds.

4. I'm sure you've heard of love-bombing. Happens in romantic relationships a lot, and in platonic ones too. Signs include an influx of attention from the bestie, all happy, cheerful conversation and you finally feeling that "perhaps, this time things will be okay and our friendship will survive." You're happy, and they seem pleased too. And they request your presence over everyone and share their secrets and call you their most trustworthy person. For me, it came in the form of long texts and cheesy memes and a quirky nickname.

It's a trap.

It's really hard to let go of the validation and the feeling of being chosen, being preferred. As humans, we value intimate connections. And as teens struggling to find ourselves in the middle of puberty and hormones, it gets even more difficult to find comfort when everyone is trying to drag you down.

And that's what the toxic friend will take advantage of. Their secrets, their texts, their conversation and constant reaching and burdening you with what has happened to them is draining asf. And it'll hit you the moment they withdraw affection. Eg. No replies to your texts or passive-aggressive, one-word answer that leave you shaken and wondering where you suddenly went wrong. Alternatively, long ass essays on how and why you're absolutely useless to them as a person and hoe others are better and more understanding, or how they don't want your help cause they're strong asf etc.. Please know that it wasn't you. It was them.

For me, this entire ordeal is.... hollowing, ig. It's left me untrusting. Horrified at myself. Angry. Grieving.

5. Lack of trust and isolation + rumour-mongering. There will be times when your supposed bestie will instead side with another person. Believe their testimony for a drama over yours. Shut you out of the conversation when you try to explain yourself. It'll be harrowing and horrifying and it will feel like you failed somewhere. I have a tendency to withdraw during conflict and that's exactly what my abuser wanted. There were rumours about me in 12th grade, under back-breaking pressure for Boards with the added bonus of my supposed bestie's bullshit drama. I needed help so desperately and instead she kicked me back down with little jibes and 'jokes' and feigning ignorance towards my bad mental state, and prioritizing everything in the world except for me.

Oh yeah that's another thing in the allonormative world. Romantic relationships absolutely deprive you of braincells or basic empathy for friends because friendship is apparently lesser.

6. They do not stand up for you. Like I said before, friendships are founded on equal love and trust and communication. It's a two-way thing. I do not mean that you gotta cloister your friend even from their own flaws; I mean that if and when you're being wronged, at the receiving end of something you do not deserve, in a shitty situation, toxic friends usually turn the other way because it does not benefit them.

Case in point, I had to stand alone when the headmistress of my school slut-shamed me in public for the length of my skirt, my apparent uselessness in the Student Council of the school, and my bestie, as Head Girl, didn't say a word in my defense. She said it was for my own good, that I had needed the threatening and shaming to "become better." And guess what, I found a way to rationalize that too :)

7. Your achievements make them extremely jealous.

Look I get it. At some point, we've all felt jealous of our friend even though we love them. Contrary to what some say, jealous is not bad or toxic. It's usually an indicator for an underlying cause, usually a fear or insecurity. It's important to take a step back and work it out properly so it doesn't hinder your judgement.

However, abusers like having the spotlight on themselves. And anything that can topple them off the stage is to be pushed back and out of the way. Either they can offer running commentary on why your achievement isn't a big deal, switch topics to *their* problems to make you feel guilty for being happy about yourself or completely cut you off while being normal to everyone around you.

Case in point, I had another toxic best friend (oof💀) who legit stopped talking to me at some points whenever I scored full marks or a grade higher than her. No prep, no warning. Just lights out. It left me dizzy and reeling and trying to understand what had happened. Now it's left me feeling that I have to fit myself into smaller spaces, dumb down my intellect so I do not hurt another person's feelings.

8. You find yourself making excuses for their appalling behaviour, or not saying anything about your own troubles because you're afraid they'll cut you off or blow up on you. Big red flag. I excused my best friend's behaviour for 3 or 4 years before finding the nerve to completely cut off all communication with her. It's never easy, I assure you.

I forgot the name of the debate tactic, but it's this thing where you state a fact and the person twists the argument slightly to rebuttal and sow chaos. I'll give an irl example.

Me: XYZ character's portrayal was not done well. The author blatantly perpetuated Orientalist stereotypes about South Asia, erased our colonial history in a book critiquing colonization and exoticized the entire thing just like white historians. The character was sexualized as a woc, her history and past erased and she existed solely for the toxic romance with the main lead.

People: so what you're saying 🙄 is that 🙄 she shouldn't be sexy and own her skin 🙄 you know female sexuality is a taboo 🙄 why would you attempt to slut shame the sexy woc 🙄 let her own it 🙄 and stop holding authors in diaspora to a higher standard 🙄 they give us rep 🙄 you're being ungrateful 🙄

Funny thing: it works. The abuser will twists your own issues and make it seem like you're the cause of it. Low mood? Just be happy. Upset at teachers? You must've done something. Low marks? Lol sucks to be you, ig. You're saying *I* did something to hurt you? Actually, I am going through abcdefghi thing right now, and I was always in a bad place and now you're also turning around and hurting me? You're just like them.

they have you trapped. You feel obligated to see their broken, weary soul and help them with it. They've said time and again about how people have hurt them and how you're the only understanding one and that they'll never hurt you again and will always listen to you. It feels special and compelling and it feeds into your self-esteem.

"I am loved."

"I am wanted."

There's big difference between the two statements. Please remember.

Remember that having trauma does not mean you have a free pass to hurt other people. Remember that their trauma absolutely does not give them the right to run hot and cold with you instead of being straightforward about the whole thing.

And as always, if anyone wants to talk, my asks and DMs are open💖

[mydarlinginej]

read my full review of highly suspicious and unfairly cute by talia hibbert here.

From the New York Times bestselling author of the Brown Sisters trilogy, comes a laugh-out-loud story about a quirky content creator and a clean-cut athlete testing their abilities to survive the great outdoors–and each other.

Bradley Graeme is pretty much perfect. He’s a star football player, manages his OCD well (enough), and comes out on top in all his classes . . . except the ones he shares with his ex-best friend, Celine.

Celine Bangura is conspiracy-theory-obsessed. Social media followers eat up her takes on everything from UFOs to holiday overconsumption–yet, she’s still not cool enough for the popular kids’ table. Which is why Brad abandoned her for the in-crowd years ago. (At least, that’s how Celine sees it.)

These days, there’s nothing between them other than petty insults and academic rivalry. So when Celine signs up for a survival course in the woods, she’s surprised to find Brad right beside her.

Forced to work as a team for the chance to win a grand prize, these two teens must trudge through not just mud and dirt but their messy past. And as this adventure brings them closer together, they begin to remember the good bits of their history. But has too much time passed . . . or just enough to spark a whole new kind of relationship?

my review:

I really loved Act Your Age, Eve Brown, so I was thrilled to hear that Talia Hibbert was releasing a young adult book! The premise also sounded so good and I couldn’t wait to read it. Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute was, well, an unfairly cute book, with a romance that you won’t be able to stop smiling about.

Celine and Bradley are academic rivals and can’t stand to be in the same room together…but they were once best friends. Celine is applying to a competition to get a scholarship and be mentored by her idol, and unfortunately—for her—Brad decides to join her. The two are forced to work together, but as they spend more time with each other, they begin to remember what they were like before.

The book opens with dictionary of the British-isms, which I feel like really set the scene for the tone. Hibbert’s writing is just so funny and witty; I had so much fun with this book! The characters were also great. Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute follows both Celine’s and Brad’s point-of-view, and it was interesting seeing them go through their own journeys. Celine is determined and blunt but also very caring. Brad wants to be a writer, if he could only tell his parents.

read my full review here.

[cursestothemoon]

hellooooo<3 so, ive always loved the idea of Harry having an older protective sister(he really need one😭) could u pls do a headcanon of how she protects harry and their relationship? annnnddd how she also is dating Fred?? my heart needs it, pls and thank u❤️

i LOVE THIS 

(also i switch from third person pov to second person in the middle of this so im sorry :) but its fine ) 

ok 

i know a common headcanon/ fancanon for harry’s sister is that she looks like lily 

but hear me out 

Y/n Potter who looks exactly like James 

i mean to the T

and Lily would always make little teasing comments about how both her kids look like their dad and james is just :)

anyway

just picture it 

dark brown, wavy hair that was just tussled enough at all times

blue eyes

and the round rimmed glasses that James used to wear

stOP SHE WEARS HER DADS GLASSES BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE SHE’D PULL THEM OFF OF HIM AND AFTER HE DID SHE KEPT THEM AND WHEN SHE MISSES HIM SHE WEARS THEM AND THEY ARE SLIGHTLY TOO BIG AND SIT CROOKED ON HER FACE 

i made myself cry

anyway

lets talk protecting harry first then we will get into dating fred 

so she’s older meaning she’d be in Hogwarts for before him

let’s say she's two years older

George and Fred’s year

and she’d hear the whispers about her 

obviously

and i think she wouldn't tell harry

she would know the story of how their parents died and who harry was to the wizarding community but in an effort to protect Harry’s innocence and childhood for just a little while longer she wouldn’t tell him

at least not until he got to school then she’d be the one to tell him everything 

she is fiercely protective of Harry 

if someone so much as looked at him funny she was chewing their head off 

Harry might’ve been like James 

but Y/n Potter is James 

down to the way her eyes would narrow at someone in class when they made a rude comment 

or she’d try to charm her way out of trouble 

or charm Harry out of trouble

oH MY GOD SHE’D BE IN MCGONAGALL’S CLASS AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS WOULD SAY SOMETHING FUNNY AND SHE’D BE TRYING SO HARD TO HOLD IN HER LAUGH AND SHE’D MAKE THE SAME FACE JAMES WOULD MAKE WHEN TRYING NOT TO LAUGH

Mcgonagall almost cried 

she needed a moment 

ok Y/n would take the first week or so just to show Harry around Hogwarts 

she did not care if she was late

Harry was going to feel comfortable 

oH SHE NEARLY BEAT OLIVER WOOD WITH A BEATER’S BAT WHEN SHE FOUND OUT HE PUT HER TEENY LITTLE BROTHER ON THE QUIDDITCH TEAM AS A SEEKER

she is also part of the team, a chaser

will get spend most of the first few games with Harry making sure he’s ok

yeah malfoy doesn’t stand a chance

never did

10/10 would use the cloak to prank him

all the time

nothing is out of limits 

especially after he’s been nasty to Harry and his friends

growing up harry gets all embarrassed when she protects him because hes 15!1!1! he can handle it 

she is kinda hurt 

very dramatic 

“mY WITTLE BROTHER DOESN’T NEED ME”

“y/n... please”

“nO ITS OK HARRY I GET IT, ILL GO”

“where are you going?”

“YOU DON’T NEED ME ANYMORE, I AM NO LONGER NEEDED HERE”

“you don't HAVE TO LEAVE, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS”

Ron was giggling on the couch in the common room he thought this whole scene was hilarious 

ron thinks she is so cool

ok i think she’d also have these little bits of lily that would shine through

unlike harry and james, who could just inhale near a book and get just above average grades

she took pride in studying and being able to sit down and absorb material 

Lily always passed with flying colors because she was a good student who wanted to prove herself 

it was the satisfaction of spending hours studying and being able to retain the information and apply it to earn an amazing grade that she loved

she passed this on to you

as well as her kindness to people who she believed deserved it

and quick wit

you two also had the same hands 

you had everything else from James but your hands looked like your mothers

down to the way your nails grew and fingers held a quill

snape hated it

because he really couldn’t hate you

he was weird around you though

hes just weird

where he'd bully and embarrass Harry 

he couldn’t do that to you because you wouldn’t give him the chance to

you knew the material

you knew the answer 

and he hated how when your hand shot up it looked just like Lily’s 

but you were making the stupid face James would when he’d concentrate 

you did not like snape

at first you were impartial 

then when you heard how rude he was to Harry...

it was also over for him

he didn’t stand a chance 

you had an affinity for pranks, fiercely protective, and you had gall 

your hand writing also looked like Lilys and snape had a rough time grading your essays

tough for him 

:)

also if any rumors went around about harry you were quick to make them actually about you

harry is the heir of slytherin?

actually no Y/n Potter is, there is no evidence but we just heard that it was her somewhere 

you didn’t care as long as no one was being rude to Harry

leTS TALK DEATHLY HALLOWS

so you don’t go with them on the hunt for Horcrux 

and you’d be going insane not knowing how they were or if they were ok

because all your life you had been able to protect to some extent 

but you were completely helpless now

you could do nothing

and then at the battle of hogwarts 

pLEASE

no one stood a chance

the feeling of seeing harry again

beaten, bruised, but still alive 

it was overwhelming

then seeing Hagrid crying in his seemingly dead body

also overwhelming

because you had failed 

you couldn't protect him 

and he heard you scream first 

it was loud and strangled and Harry felt so bad but he knew he had to do this 

I like to think Y/n Potter is the one who killed Voldemort in the end 

you cant argue with me on this sorry

ok

now

lets talk

dating freddie

so he’d probably notice you here and there starting in first year

but he was an eleven year old boy and girls were not on his radar right now

but he thought you were funny and pretty cool 

and your round glasses that were just a little too big for your adolescent face made you look cute 

then you tried out for the quidditch team with him and George 

you were amazing 

not only did you have James natural talent for the sport but that paired with Lily’s tactical thinking and quick mind

you were unstoppable 

you were brought on the team as a seeker 

and you were good at it too, but it wasn’t you’re favorite position

it entailed a lot of waiting and not really moving until you caught sight of the snitch

it was your excellent flying mixed with the fact that you literally had no sense of self preservation that made you a really good seeker

you'd just

nose dive 

if you hit the bottom you hit the bottom oh well 

but when Harry showed up you were happy to give him your position as seeker and take on the more exciting (at least to you) job of chaser

it was your quidditch playing that really got fred’s attention

because you were good 

and during team lunches or team hang outs you were always the life of the party

not because you were avidly trying to be 

but like james, people jus gravitated to your goofiness and happiness 

it was about the middle of fifth year fred realized he had a crush on you

and little man was panicked 

you had noticed fred before that

obviously 

but he was always just the funny guy on the team 

but as everyone knows the potter’s have a thing for gingers 

and it was when they came to pick you and Harry up from the Dursley's just before the quidditch world cup that you saw how attractive he really was 

please its james and lily all over again

kinda 

you become the funniest person in the room when he’s around

always smiley

lilypad?

no.

freddie bug

aH STOP PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE

YOU’D JUST STARE AT HIM WITH A STUPID SMILE 

it would get to the point you'd be just blatantly flirting 

and fred bluSHES

BECAUSE HE ISN’T USED TO BEING THE ONE ON THE RECEIVING END OF SUCH CLEAR FLIRTING

usually he is the one to pick up girls

he has the charm

likes to make them blush

but yOU CAN JUST LOOK AT HIM WITH A STUPID SMILE AND HES BE ALL GIDDY 

he could barely get a compliment in between your flirting

“Morning Freddie bug, looking cute as always.”

George thinks it both hilarious and disgusting

ron just thinks its disgusting 

but fred is ultimately the one to make the first move to be more than just friends who flirt when the yule ball comes around

he asks you

“Potter! Potter!”

“yes?”

“You, me, Yule ball....”

and as he’s pantomiming it (ya know like in the movie) he also pantomimes a very heavy make out session then what you could assume would be kisses all over your face

it was now your turn to blush as you agreed to go with him

you guys started dating after that :)

pLEASE ONCE HARRY GOT WITH GINNY AND HE SAW A PICTURE OF YOUR PARENTS 

YOUR MOM BEING A RED HEAD AND YOU AND HARRY LOOKING JUST LIKE YOUR DAD

HE WOULD NOT STOP THE JOKES

“i see why you’re with me. it’s my hair isnt it?”

“what? no its no-”

“you probably wouldn’t even look my way if i didn’t have red hair. you potters are unbelievable.”

“you are such a dummy”

“oH AM I? BUT YOU KEEP ME AROUND BECAUSE OF THE HAIR. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN IT WASN’T MY SPARKLING PERSONALITY THAT YOU LOVE.”

taglist:

@amourtentiaa

@siriusement

[raibebe]

Haechan + baby sitter (high school au)

“Are you sure they are asleep?”  “I checked their rooms twice, we’re good,” Donghyuck whined, closing the door to your room as quietly as he could before walking over to where you sat on your desk hunched over your math homework.  “I’ll let you copy mine tomorrow,” your secret boyfriend smiled as he pulled you up and towards your bed.  Up until this day you had no idea why your parents had felt the need to hire a babysitter for your younger siblings when you were literally just a couple of doors away from them. But you couldn’t say you were mad at them when the babysitter was as handsome and funny as Donghyuck. 

“Stop thinking baby,” he rasped and pulled you on top of him once he had settled down against the throw pillows against your headboard.  “Make me,” you whispered before the boy did just that by catching your lips in a chaste kiss that turned into something more rather quickly when Donghyuck had let his tongue run over your lower lip to demand entrance.  Moaning softly into the kiss, you felt his hands roam over your body which was nothing new: Your boyfriend was getting rather touchy in your recent makeout sessions, his hands feeling up your thighs, hips and waist. 

He must feel extra bold today as he trailed little kisses down your neck and let his hands slip beneath your hoodie, making shiver on his lap.  “Is this okay?” He asked against your spit slicked skin where he had been sucking on a patch that surely would bruise and you could only pray that your could hide it beneath the collar of your school’s uniform.  “Y... Yeah,” you stuttered, “Do you want me to touch you as well?” 

Instead of answering your question, Donghyuck quickly pulled his hoodie over his head, leaving his bronzed skin bare.  For a moment your breath got stuck in your throat but you would lie if the sight of your boyfriend’s naked torso didn’t light a fire inside you.  “Like what you see?” He teased with his signature smirk on his lips.  “I- Yeah,” you admitted, leaning forward to press a kiss to the center of his chest before smoothing your hands all over his exposed skin while kissing him senseless again, his own hands busy mapping out your form beneath your own hoodie that seemed to suffocate you with how warm it was getting. 

“Wait,” you panted when you separated to catch your breath, a small string of saliva connecting your lips.  “I’m sorry if this is too much too fast I just- wow,” Donghyuck stumbled over his words once you had thrown your own hoodie to meet his somewhere on your bed, leaving you in just your bra. His eyes stayed fixated to your boobs while his hands hovered just centimetres away from them.  “You can touch me,” you whispered when he wasn’t moving. 

That seemed to do the trick, making Donghyuck gently grab and squeeze your boobs through the thin fabric.  He looked up at you from his big, brown eyes that were asking a question he didn’t have to courage to ask. With your blood rushing to your face, your slowly unclasped your bra so it fell between you two, leaving your upper half completely bare. 

“You’re so hot,” your boyfriend groaned, wasting no time to grab two handful of your boobs again, squeezing the soft flesh until a moan bubbled past your lips from how good it felt to have your nipples rubbing against his calloused hands.  “Feels so good, Hyuck,” you breathed heavily as he peppered your cleavage with kisses and softly nipped at the flesh.  To get closer to him, you squirmed in his lap until Donghyuck let out a strangled sound and oh- While you never had done this before, you had paid enough attention in biology classes to know what exactly was poking your thigh right now. 

“Are you..?”  “I can’t help it,” he whined, “You’re not expecting me to not pop a boner when you show me your boobs for the first time, are you?”  Daring to look down, you could definitely see a bulge in his sweats. Swallowing down the sudden lump in your throat, you gently placed your hand on him, applying just the slightest bit of pressure. But it was enough to have him gasping again, rutting his hips upwards.  “You... You don’t have to,” he choked out as you cupped him properly, stroking your hand up and down the imprint of his cock.  “But I want to,” you answered just as breathlessly, mesmerized by the sounds your boyfriend was letting out. 

“Babe, I’m gonna-” he choked out after a while, his hips picking up their own rhythm to rut against your hand, “Please, I’m so close.”  As if you had known that he would be loud, you captured his lips with yours to swallow his moans as his hips started to stutter, the fabric beneath your fingers turning damp.  “Fucking hell,” Donghyuck chuckled once he had come down from his high, pressing a kiss to your heated cheek, “I didn’t think this was going to happen tonight.”  “Me neither,” you confessed but before your boyfriend could even ask about returning the favor, the door to your bedroom got ripped open, revealing a sleepy toddler. 

You all but shrieked as you scrambled to hide your half naked form from your younger brother.  “I had a nightmare, Haechan,” your brother sniffled.  “I’ll take care of it,” Donghyuck smiled, only mildly cringing at the drying cum inside his boxers. 

“Wait for me,” he winked at your still mortified form before leading the toddler back to his room.  Just what had you gotten yourself into tonight? 

ooops this got out of hand

[catzula]

In honor of me buying a new motorcycle, here's suna. with a motorcycle.

oh my god this was in my wips for so long I just never got to finish, I hope you like it!

i am kindly asking you to reblog if you liked this!! thank you thank you

《Synopsis: when someone asks you how you started dating suna rintarou, your childhood crush, it's a little awkward to tell them it only happened because your brother's got arrested.》

"I'm not riding with Atsumu."

"I'm not riding with Atsu- fuck!" Osamu curses when Suna beats him to it with a second of difference, grinning at the grey-haired twins' defeated face.

"Fucking loser." Suna mocks him, "now you have to listen to him nagging you about how he doesn't like how the wind smells."

It has you bursting out with laughter, your gaze unconsciously finding the green-eyed boy as you laugh. Your smile only grows as you notice he's looking at you as well.

"Hey- what the hell, you two?" Atsumu finally chimes in, looking utterly betrayed by his brothers' and best friends' words. "Riding with me is an honor, I'll have you know."

"Oh, yeah, what an honor it is." Osamu mutters under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I said what an honor it is to have you bitching about every little thing we spend on and off the road."

"It's better than riding with you and fearing for life whenever you take a turn." Atsumu shots back at his twin, but Osamu has an answer ready.

"I'm the one with the license, aren't I?"

A moment of silence ensues; it only breaks with your soft snort when you can't hide your laugh. "Stol fucking laughing," Atsumu glares at you, "Its not funny."

"It is, though." You grin at your brother, hiding behind Suna when Atsumu takes a step forward to you.

It's funny because all three of them applied and took the license exam for a motorcycle when they all turned 16, but as both Osamu and Suna passed, Atsumu couldn't.

He even "secretly" (everyone knew about it) applied for the exam again a few weeks later, only to fail again.

"The license examiner was looking at me funny," he explains, "I did amazing but he just had to be an ass because he was jealous."

"You dropped the motorcycle, Atsumu." You raise your brows.

"And couldn't get it back up," Suna snickers, both of you start laughing.

"Shut yer traps!" Atsumu shouts, turning to you with a frown, "and why are you forming an alliance with him, huh? Against your favorite brother, too."

"I'm riding with him." You shrug. "Have to be on my best behavior, you see."

Even thinking about spending the next few hours on a motorcycle ride with Suna has you all giddy.

Your brothers had decided to spend the weekend at your parents' winter house, which was somewhere in the outer city, and had decided to go with their motorcycles.

"Keep the best behavior up," Suna laughs, hand coming up to ruffle your hair. "As long as you aren't like your brother here, you have nothing to worry about."

You sit next to Atsumu as Suna and Osamu try to find the place on their GPS, doing their last checks on their motorcycles.

"Are you okay with riding with Suna?"

The question catches you off guard as you raise your head from Atsumu's shoulder. "You can ride with 'Samu. Can't guarantee he's safer, though."

Atsumu knows you don't like being alone with people you don't know well, and he worries even when it's someone you've grew up with.

"It's okay," you laugh. "Suna is nice, I'll be fine."

The worried glint in his brown eyes remind you of the one of your childhood, whenever you fell and had a wound on your knee, Atsumu would be the one to carry you all the way back home, not letting you up from the couch he placed you even when it was just a few scrapes.

He still sees you as the little girl from back then. You wonder if Suna feels the same way.

You discard the thought immediately as it leaves a sour taste in your mouth. You've always been fond of Suna; even as a kid, you wanted to be near him, talk to him, have his attention.

He wasn't nice or anything; he would always make fun of you when you were little, he still sometimes did, too, but the way he spoke the words would never hurt you; if anything, they'd turned into soft memories that made you smile.

You always hoped this fondness would go away as you grew older.

It never did.

The roar of an engine pulls you from your thoughts, causing you to jump in your place as you glare at the boy sitting on his motorcycle. He snorts.

"Did I scare ya?" Suna gives you a lopsided grin, one he has mastered over the years. "You looked like something was troubling you."

"I was sitting next to Atsumu." You say as if it answers him, making the boy in question jump on his legs to shout an angry "hey!"

Suna's smile grows wider at that; you notice how the corners of his eyes crinkle a little, and it's one of those smiles that make your heart beat twice as fast in your chest.

Your eyes stay connected for a second or more; you wish he wouldn't look away as Suna turns his gaze to the helmet he has in his hands. "Here you go," he unfastens it for you, pulling it back when you reach for it to do it yourself, "gotta stay safe."

You don't speak as Suna pushes the helmet down your head for you, tilting your head up with two fingers pressuring under your chin to fasten it. You don't know why his hands brush against your face so much, why his fingers caress your jaw instead of letting go when you push your face up, you don't know why he's looking at you like he's about to kiss you.

Suna stands so close, mental images of him leaning in to press a kiss despite the helmet has you blinking it away rapidly; when he smiles, you think you can almost smell the strawberry scent of the gum he's chewing.

"There you go," Suna's fingers hook on the tie beneath your chin, pulling slightly. "Is that good? Comfortable?" Suna laughs as you open the shield to stick your tongue at him. "It's good. Could have done it myself, you know."

"Can't even be charitable," Suna rolls his eyes playfully, "what's so bad about that?" Suna gives your helmet a slight pat before wearing his own, the weight of the helmet causing your head to fall forward. You hear a snicker coming from him and have to hold yourself back from head bumping his chest.

You really want to tell him that you aren't that little girl he used to know anymore, but you bite your tongue.

"Ready to go?" He asks when you climb his motorcycle, arms wrapping gingerly around his narrow waist. The moment your fingers meet in front of his abdomen, the engine beneath you roars alive. "Ready." You confirm, muttering so close to his ear, missing the blush that sits on them.

~

"Ah, they aren't here yet." You stretch as you get off the motorcycle, inspecting the empty garage. Suna's brows pinch together; he had driven especially slow for your comfort, and it made no sense the adrenaline sucker Osamu hadn't beaten you into it.

"Huh," he only answers your statement, shaking his leather jacket off of his body. "I'm coming in a sec, alright? You should go in." Suna tells you, eyes falling onto his phone.

You shrug, wanting nothing more but to go in the place and take a nice shower. You go in, take your shower and even blow dry your hair; when Suna finally decides to enter the place, there's an unreadable expression on his face.

"So," he plops down on the couch, eyes narrowed and brows quirked. "I just talked to your mother."

"My mo- wait what?"

"Yeah," he looks as surprised as you are. You stay quiet as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "So did you know Atsumu and Osamu weren't allowed in this state?"

"They wha- oh shit." Your eyes widen when you finally kind of understand what's going on.

"Yeah," Suna narrows his eyes at you. "They got arrested."

They got arrested.

If that didn't mean you were going to be stuck in the same house with your childhood crush for probably the rest of the weekend, you know both of you would've been in teary laughter already.

But you weren't.

Instead, you stare at each other in all awkwardness of the situation, hoping either of you would say something already.

"Whew," you say finally with a light chuckle, "glad we didn't get pulled over, too, then."

Suna quirks a brow at you, mouth opening to ask, but he decides he can do that later. You have the whole weekend in front of you to talk, after all.

His eyes fall on the smile that graces your lips, it looks awfully similar to the adoring one he has.

Huh, Suna thinks, maybe this won't be as bad as he thinks it is.

[justjuiceyboy]

bruised

in which Juice’s best friend goes to him for help after an abusive relationship

word count: 1,397

warnings: blood, swearing, abuse, toxic relationship

——————————— 

Wincing, you grazed two fingers along your forehead, each collecting some blood that had stained the side of your face. You huffed, knowing what was about to go down as soon as your best friend saw this. Juice was always getting himself into trouble and almost bleeding out like the mad man he is but as soon as anything happens to you - its the end of the world as we all know it.

You and Juice had been best friends for as long as you can remember. When your parents passed, he was there for you and became your rock. You had upped and left Queens with him, which was a good decision, but on your first day here you had met someone. That someone turned out to be Matthew, your future boyfriend. He was lovely in the beginning, everything anyone could want: sweet, funny, helpful. But now, three years later he was mean-spirited, angry and explosive. Anything that you did incorrectly in his eyes was seen as an issue. An issue that violence was the answer to. You hadn’t told Juice about it and made up stories, “Oh I tripped and took a tumble on the stairs” you laughed, or, “I was trying to put a book back on the shelf but instead it came back down and hit me in the eye!” Juice never really bought the excuses.

But now you had nowhere else to go so you found yourself speed walking towards the clubhouse. Matthew had made it awfully clear that he didn’t want you in the house and the open wounds on your face could back up that statement. You didn’t want to leave him, when he had good days he was great, often bringing home flowers with some sort of cheesy note attached. However you knew in your heart that the bad days were now outnumbering the good and no matter how clean the house was, how much laundry you did or how little noise you made, it was never enough. You were always afraid of what Juice would do if he found out. You knew he would be hurt by you lying to him swell as what you were lying about.

The cold air hit your flushed skin, which provided a sense of relief on one hand but pain on the other as blood was still oozing from the cut above your eyebrow. The walk was short and you were glad that you didn’t run into anyone on the way, not feeling the urge to discuss your war wounds with anyone other than your best friend, and even then discuss was a loose term. You just wanted somewhere to stay that you wouldn’t be thrown out of the bed and be in fear of a man towering over your frame.

It looked worse than it felt. You had one gash above your eyebrow that no matter how much pressure you applied, wouldn’t stop bleeding. Your eye socket was in immense pain, definitely going to bruise up in a nice purple colour tomorrow. Your other cheek was bright red, probably having the imprint of a man’s hand on it, except you really didn’t have time to check in the mirror before you left your own home. The dried blood made it look like you were in some sort of street fight, which probably would’ve been a nicer explanation than the one you’d have to give now.

The gate was open, not many bikes parked outside the clubhouse. You recognised Juice’s, along with Jax and Chibs. You pushed on the door and were met with a warm gust of inviting air. You shuffled into the room, keeping your eyes at a low level. You barely had a chance to even look around the room until Juice spoke first, “what the fuck?” He got up quickly, coming over to you and placing his hands on either side of your face, “who did this to you?” Suddenly your eyes filled with tears as he examined your bloody form. The other two boys rose from their seats with concern, fearing this was some sort of club retaliation.

“It doesn’t matter. Can y’fix me up?” You hiccuped as you talked, now the tears freely flowing down your face, expecting him to lose the plot and start going mental. But he didn’t. He looked into your eyes, his soft brown eyes making you melt and cry harder as you could see that he was hurt. He led you over to a bar stool and sat you up on it to examine you further.

He reached around and rustled under the bar, pulling out a mini first aid kit. He kneeled down in front of you, grabbed an antiseptic wipe and warning you, “will sting a little”, he held it onto your gash, finally stopping the blood but still making you jump slightly. He wiped all the dried blood off your face and he applied a white plaster to the area. You all let silence fill the air, him wanting answers but you not being willing to give them to him. 

He finally spoke, “was it him?” The last word was almost spat with venom. The two boys in your life had no problem with each other in person, but Matthew often taunted you about Juice, saying he was “good for nothing, will never amount to anything”. What you didn’t know is that behind closed doors, Juice wasn’t overly fond of Matthew either, hating that he got the chance with you when it should be him. But he could admit it before now, being too afraid of both rejection from you but also due to his line of work, being close to someone never really worked out well. It still didn't stop him from loving you.

You nodded, not being able to keep up with the lie anymore. Your tears were still falling down your face. He put his arms around you without saying anything and leaned your head into his shoulder. You choked out an “I’m sorry” to which he shushed you. He picked you up and brought you back to his dorm, careful not to bump into anything or make your injuries worse. Once he lay you on the bed, he took off your boots and helped you change into a pair of his sweatpants and a shirt, discarding yours that were stained. 

He lay down next to you, slowly reaching for your hand to hold it with his own. “You can’t go back, not after this” he stated, as more of a fact rather than a suggestion. You knew he was right so you gave his hand a squeeze. He let out a sigh before posing the question, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“He told me no one would ever want me, that I was lucky to have him” you breathed softly, letting out a quiet yawn along with a few more tears. Juice was furious with rage but wasn’t about to take it out on you. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of your hair, making sure not to go near any hurt areas. “Get some sleep” he advised, but he could tell you had already drifted off, tired from the events of the day, “I’ll be back soon.”

Juice left the room, now in the presence of the two boys once again. “What d’ye want t’do about this Juicey?” Chibs asked, trying to figure out what the plan of action was without putting any ideas in his head. But he already knew what Juice was thinking purely by the look on his face.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him” Juice seethed, “scumbag”.

The three boys grabbed their kuttes and made their way out of the clubhouse, locking the door so you’d be safe when they were gone.

“It’s her isn’t it?” Jax smiled slightly as he threw his leg over his Harley.

Juice looked at him confused, not knowing what his question meant. 

“She’s the girl you’re in love with. It’s so fucking obvious Jesus Christ, how did we not realise that!“

Juice paused, finally ready to let go of the secret he held tightly for so many years, but he wanted the first person he told it to to be you so he simply stated “Nobody hurts my girl” as he kicked started his bike, ready to serve justice.

[camaro-and-smokes]

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Chapter 10: Smile, though your heart is aching

Rating: EXPLICIT Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: Stranger Things. Relationship: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington Characters: Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Chrissy Cunningham. Tags in general for the whole fic: Fluff & gay sex. This chapter: Fluff & angst. See all tags on AO3.

Links to other chapters on tumblr on Chapter 1 post >>

Read on AO3 >>

Summary: Life after the outing isn't all that rosy.

::::::::::

There was a buzz around Billy and Steve on gossip websites and social media even after a few weeks since their outing. The women who’d been eager to try their luck with Steve were mortified to find out that it was a man who Steve had chosen. Billy was scrutinized from head to toe, but at least no one said he was ugly. They simply couldn’t. The worst on social media died down after those weeks, and to their relief, all the attention seemed to remain mostly online.

To get away from it all they went to see Steve’s mother. She was still living in Steve’s childhood home in Hawkins.

They hit the highway and Steve set the cruise control of the Merc onto 70. “So, what did you tell her about me after having mind blowing sex with me for the first time just hours before?” Billy asked teasingly. Steve glanced at Billy with a smirk. “Yeah, I immediately told her how fuckable my new boyfriend was,” he replied sarcastically. Then his tone softened. “I think she knew that already when I said that you’d be the last one I’ll ever bring home to meet her.” Billy was silent for a while. Then he smiled and let out a laugh. “You keep saying that I’m last this and last that. It sounds like you’re going to murder me and to date no one ever again after that.” Steve laughed and put his hand on Billy’s thigh. “You’re the last one in the sense that I won’t ever need anyone else but you.” “You don’t know that. Not yet.” Steve squeezed Billy’s thigh gently. “I know enough.”

Billy smiled and took Steve’s hand in his, interlacing their fingers. “So, what did you tell her?” “That I had found someone I wanted her to meet. She asked who the lovely lady was, and I told her you weren’t she. She was silent for a quite a while after that. But then she said that she remembered me having that one friend who was around a lot and asked if it was like that. I said that it was. Then she just said that she couldn’t wait to meet you.” Billy was quiet for a while. “You know, you’re the first who takes me to meet his parents,” he said, squeezing Steve's hand lightly. “Really?” Steve asked surprised. Billy nodded. “Yeah. I haven’t had that many serious relationships, and they never lasted long enough, anyway. Some of them met Eddie, though. He’s the closest I have to a brother. But even those were more of them wanting to meet Eddie, the rock star, not my best friend. Max lives in New York, too far for me to take anyone to meet her unless I’m serious enough.” He paused. “I’d like you to meet her.” Steve smiled. “I would love to meet her. And Eddie, your best friend.” Billy kissed Steve's hand. “When we go back home...I could ask him to come over at your place with Chrissy.” “You got yourself a deal, gorgeous.”

Finally they drove to the silent suburb of Hawkins where Steve's mom still lived in Steve's childhood home, and Steve pulled the Merc over onto a driveway of a large house. “Wow. Living it large since childhood, huh? I bet you had a pool, too.” “Yup. But it’s funny how everything seems smaller when you’ve lived away for a while. Even houses this big.” They got out of the car, and Steve walked around the hood under which the engine was clicking in the crisp autumn air after the long drive. He took Billy’s hand. “Come. Mom said she made us something to eat.”

When they walked in, a striking looking middle-aged woman with long, chocolate brown hair like Steve’s came to meet them while wiping her hands on a towel. “Steve, honey!” she said, her arms open, and grabbed her son into a tight embrace. “It’s so good to see you!” “Mom, this is Billy.” She turned to Billy and smiled. “Hi, I’m Margaret,” she said and offered her hand to him. “I’d hug you, but I don’t know if you’d like that.” Billy smiled and opened his arms. “I don’t mind hugging.” “Oh, that’s good,” she said, and hugged him. “I’m a big hugger, so you better get used to it.” After she let go, she took a step back and measured Billy from head to toe. ”You got yourself a real catch, Steve,” she said smiling, making Billy blush. “Teasing aside, I hope you’re hungry. I made chicken casserole. You go ahead to the dining room, I’ll bring the food in.” She vanished into the kitchen leaving Steve and Billy to take their overcoats off.

“Are you ok?” Steve asked Billy as they sat down by the table in the dining room. “Yeah, I’m good. She seems nice.” “She’s gotten better since dad died because now she’s home alone a lot. She used to travel a lot with dad, to keep his eyes from wandering.” “Oh.” “Yeah. They weren’t home that much when I grew up.” Margaret soon came in with the casserole pan and set it on the table. “Okay. Dig in, boys,” she said as she sat by the table across from Steve and Billy. “So, Billy, Steve tells me you’re a writer.” “Yes, I do copywriting and PR and write novels.” “That sounds interesting. Are the books something I might’ve read?” Billy smiled. “Uh, well, maybe. I write...um, romance.” “That’s not bad. Ugly world needs that stuff. People need to get something nice to distract their minds with.” “I’m glad you see it that way. Some people treat it as garbage.” “You get paid for it well, don’t you?” “I do.” “It can't be all garbage then, or many people like garbage. I don’t think it’s the latter.”

After they had eaten Margaret brought coffee and desert to the table. “So, Billy, because Steve’s father isn’t here, I think I need to ask this. What are your plans regarding my son?” “Mom!” Steve laughed incredulous. “Billy, you don’t have to answer that.” Billy looked at her, surprised. “Um...Well, I hope we...” He was lost for words and looked at Steve for help. “Mom,” Steve said, “we’re together, and if it’s up to me, for the rest of our time.” Then his expression turned serious, and he clenched his teeth. “He’s not a gold digger, if that’s what you’re implying.” Margaret looked at Steve. “I’m allowed to be concerned about things like that. You two are moving forward awfully quick.” “It’s my life, my relationship. It’s not yours to decide.” “I understand you’re concerned,” Billy intervened. “I assure you, I have plenty even without Steve’s assets,” he said and put his hand over Steve’s hand that was on the table clenched into a fist, making it loosen a little. “I’m not with him because of what he has. He is the reason I am with him. Even if he had nothing, I’d still be here.” Margaret nodded. “I’m sorry. I just had to ask. Steve...” she sighed. “He’s brought in people who haven’t always been with him for the right reasons. But you seem different. Though I should’ve known you’re special the moment he drove to the driveway. He hasn't brought anyone in with that car. That's special.” ”Yeah, I'm apparently the only date who's even been in that car even once, so...“ Billy shrugged smiling.

They spent a whole week in Hawkins because no one really paid any attention to them there. Sure, some older folks recognized Steve, but because most of his friends had moved away and only their parents had been left behind, they were left alone most of the time. Which was welcomed.

When they returned home, everything was already getting back to somewhat normal, and Billy was finally allowed at least some peace when he left the penthouse or his own apartment. But of course his past slithered out from under the rock it had been hiding under...

He was sitting on the floor of the penthouse, leaning on the glass wall in the living room, typing on his laptop. He was working on a new novel, inspired by his and Steve’s visit to Italy. He had realized that his current life was a magnificent, endless source for romantic stories, and he already had three more books planned. In his mind, he thanked his agent, who had suggested already at the very start of his writing career that he should write with an alias. It would’ve been impossible to write more romance novels with his own name now.

Getting used to the lavish open spaces of the penthouse still took him effort, even though he now spent most of his time there. He didn’t like feeling like he was in an aquarium with the glass walls, but when he was writing, he didn’t like to keep the windows tinted either. Chicago was beautiful from up there, and knowing that probably no one could look back and see him anyway made him feel more at ease.

He looked at his phone that had been set on silent. There was one message.

“Please call me back when you see this. Need to talk.”

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” Billy said when Steve picked up. Steve didn’t spend time on pleasantries. “Do you know this guy, Neil Hargrove?” Billy had been expecting to hear that name one day from Steve on a call like this, but he had hoped that the call would've never come. “What about him?” “I suppose he’s your old man?” Billy closed his eyes, and his jaw clenched involuntarily. He sighed. “Yeah. That’s him.” “He has shared his story of your beating him with the yellow press. He has photos of the injuries, too, nasty ones. How long ago was this?” Billy took another deep breath. “When I was eighteen.” “So it was...fifteen years ago?” “Yes.” “Ok, good. He doesn’t have a case, just so that you know. Especially because he doesn’t have first-hand witnesses, and he didn't report the incident to the police. He has just the photos of the injuries and tons of accusations. Anyone could’ve caused those injuries on him, really.” Steve paused. “You really did a number on him.” Billy said nothing. “I mean...” Steve started, but paused. “If that’s just a taster of what he did to you over the years, baby...I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that. You’re the one who should sue him.”

Billy leaned his head against the window and looked up at the ceiling. “Is he suing me?” “No. The story is headliner for a few gossip sites now and a few printed papers that come out tomorrow, plus a few in few days. They’re trying to tear you apart, but everyone with half a wit sees that there’s another side to the story. He’s not saving any spiteful words though, but they’re just that - words.” “To be honest, it surprised me it took this long for him to bring it up. But I kinda knew it would happen right about now.” “Do you want to address it somehow?” Billy sighed. “I don’t want to think about it at all if I can manage it. Let’s...do nothing. Please?” “Sure. We let the story take its course, and I'll make sure anyone won't contact you about it. It’ll probably die down soon anyway when we don’t react to it.” Billy was silent, and Steve waited patiently on the other end. When Billy said nothing even after a good while, Steve realized the obvious painfulness of the subject in Billy's silence. “I’ll come home sooner today and get some takeaway. Let’s watch a film or something. How’s that sound, gorgeous?” Billy smiled weakly. “I'd like that, a lot.”

Later, Billy sat on the floor leaning to the back of one of the massive couches, wrapped in a blanket, and watching raindrops hit the transparent wall. He felt empty, as if everything he'd made of himself, created for himself, was erased by Neil's accusations of his son being 'an ungrateful, violent bastard'. Especially when he was given a platform to shout out his words into the world. It made the words sound real, even though Billy knew they were nothing but lies, cooked up by a sick motherfucker who no one would feel sorry for if they knew the truth.

He shouldn’t have read the articles, but he couldn't leave them be. His version of the events differed vastly from Neil's. Years of child neglect and psychological and physical violence shined with their absence from the articles. As if he just had snapped one day out of the blue and basically left Neil to die while running away like a coward.

He had done nothing to Neil other than what Neil had done to him. As he had spat on Neil's bloodied face when he'd been done and had walked out of the door, he had known Neil would unfortunately live through his injuries. Just like he had.

He touched a long scar on his left arm. After one particularly bad beating from Neil, the bones of the arm had healed a bit wrong because Neil had never taken him to the ER. After the fracture had healed the arm had worked normally, but hard physical exercise made the entire arm feel like his heart was pounding in it for hours afterwards.

He'd gotten the arm operated five years ago when he'd finally had enough money thanks to the first royalties from his books. When he had done the first proper exercise with the newly operated arm and only experienced normal slight fatigue from having exercised afterwards, he had cried both for anger for all the years of pain he'd been forced to endure and for happiness that the pain was finally gone.

He watched the droplets of rain slowly trickle down the pane, others faster, others slower, all pooling down on the ledge. When there were enough of them, they fell over the ledge to the drain, and new droplets gathered in their place.

Steve walked out of the elevator with the bag of Chinese he'd picked up on his way back home. He walked to the living room and saw Billy's reflection in the window. He set the bag down on the coffee table and sat down on the floor next to Billy. "Come here, gorgeous," he said, stretching his arm over Billy's shoulders. "How are you doing?" Tears Billy hadn't even known he'd been holding back pooled into his eyes suddenly and fell on his cheeks with ugly sobs. Steve pulled Billy into his lap and hugged him tightly. “Baby, he doesn't deserve your tears. He's talking about things that are in the past. That past is a part of you, but it's not all of you. You are here, in the now, as beautiful, smart, funny, caring, talented... And you're here with me. Don't let him get under your skin.” Steve hoped he could have done more, to make the story vanish, or Neil, but there was nothing to be done. What he could do was to be there for Billy and hold him as long as he would need to be held, for forever, if that's what it took, and he'd do it gladly.

When Billy's sobs finally eased, he leaned back up, and wiped the tears and the snot from his nose to his sleeves, and looked out again. The rain hadn't stopped, but the clouds had turned a lighter shade of gray, and there was a sliver of gold in between them close to the horizon. He met Steve's gaze in the window and turned to look at him. Steve set his palm on Billy's cheek, and stroke it gently with his thumb, making Billy smile a weak smile and lean on the palm. Steve leaned in to kiss Billy gently, then pulled Billy back into a sideways hug. Billy leaned his head on Steve's shoulder. "I did an hour and a half full set on the gym and I still couldn't get him out of my mind." He took a deep breath. "I hadn't thought of him even for a minute in years. All this time, and he still gets inside my head like no one else." Steve leaned his head on Billy's. "The story will go away. A week, two, tops. Soon new shiny things come up that interest readers more. And you don't have to leave the penthouse unless you want to. You have everything here." “I guess.” “The first time is always the hardest. Going through the grinder that's yellow press. It gets easier,” Steve said and hugged Billy tightly. Billy said nothing, so they sat in silence and watched the rain pelleting the windows.

After a while, Steve spoke. “If it would make you feel better, I can try to eat my rice with chopsticks this time.” The remark made Billy chuckle. “There was more rice everywhere else than in your mouth last time. Let's get you a fork.” “Nope, no need! I watched a YouTube video and now I know how to do it,” Steve said proudly. “Oh wow! Ok, Mr. Expert, show me your skills!” They got up and sat on the couch to eat the food.

Steve indeed knew now how to eat with chopsticks and smiled triumphantly as he fed Billy one of the spring rolls with them.

[bvidzsoo]

Downtown

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Warnings: sexual situations, swearing and angst 

 Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x female reader x Hong Joshua

 Word count: 29, 624

 Summary:   You never thought you’d fall for the person you’ve known for almost ten years, but you did know he wasn’t the right person either for you. It was hard getting over him, especially when you were friends with benefits. But then, a mysterious gentleman came along, and changed your world. Suddenly, you knew what you deserved.

 A/N: Holy shit, this feels like it took a year to write, when it was a week and a half? It’s very long, the longest oneshot I’ve written in my whole life so far and I’m proud of it. It’s past 3 am here when I’m posting this, so good night everyone. Don’t forget to leave your feedback, to feed my curious heart. Enjoy now!

     Things weren’t always so complicated. As a child, you only have to worry about your grades and to not disappoint your parents. You go out with your friends, have fun, let loose and have no worries about the cruel world surrounding you. But then you grow up and all sorts of responsibilities are dumped on you; you suddenly don’t know this foreign world. It all feels scary and malicious, ready to take you out, but then you learn. You learn how to be an adult and things aren’t that hard anymore. Except if it comes to your feelings. People always say, ‘we are adults, we have to approach the issue straight on and address it; you have to talk about your feelings without holding anything back’. But that’s always easier said than done. Because I am an adult and yet I still don’t know how to tell the man lying down next to me that I’m in love with him. The room feels hot, skins glistening in the moonlight that comes in through the open window, both of our chests rise quickly, neither one of us having completely come down from our highs. I love it while it’s happening but hate it after it’s over. The sex is amazing with Soonyoung, he knows every inch of my body, he knows what turns me on and what I hate. He never chases his own release; he works for both of us. He’s rough but never to the extent to hurt me or make me uncomfortable. But then it’s over and there come the feelings I try repressing during the day. The want to turn into him and snuggle into his side, legs intertwined, eyes closed as we fall asleep is hard to ignore. Sometimes it happens, but then one of us leaves before the other could wake up. The bed feels empty without him and some mornings it makes me crazy. My sheets carry his scent, the scent I feel around me everywhere; it’s so deeply etched into my own being that it’s simply everywhere. Actions can be scary, but feelings are scarier. I closed my eyes to take another breath before turning my head. Soonyoung’s tongue poked out to lick his dry lips before he turned his head to face me, our dark brown eyes locking onto each other. My heart speed up, could he see it in my eyes? The desperate love I wanted him to see and feel? Or was he the oblivious boy he used to be back in high school? He changed in many aspects, but one thing remained the same: he was the same funny guy I used to hang out with, the same guy who always carried a smile on his lips and hid his real feelings.

Being on time was an issue I tried to fix my whole life. At first, it wasn’t my fault, my dad would never be on time, therefore, I was always late thanks to him. But slowly, after I was independent enough to be on my own, I started noticing that I took on his habit, being late almost everywhere. I overslept my first class today, which would be an issue later on as I have another class with the same teacher, and now I was hurrying down the hallway to try and not be late to my second class as well. And it was going well, until it wasn’t. A hard show sent my arms out and my notebook, book, and pencil case flying to the ground. It took me by surprise as there were few people in the hallway that someone would run into me, there was plenty of space. My eyes fell on the culprit as he carried on his way as if nothing had happened. 

My morning grumpiness got the best of me and I opened my mouth to call out before he could round the corner, “Next time apologize, asshole!”

I bent down to pick up my three things laying on the ground, groaning when the bell rang, now I have to make it inside class before the teacher does. As I stood up once again, a black curly-haired boy stood in front of me. His cheeks were puffy and his eyes sharp and small. He resembled a hamster; it was the boy who ran into me. His uniform wasn’t neat and his left shoe tie was unmade. I glanced over his figure again before making eye contact. His dark eyes had a certain allure to them and I definitely didn’t expect the sudden wide smile he offered me.

“Sorry! I’m kind of in a rush,” He spoke hurriedly, his voice a bit raspy.

“Well, me too, but do you see me running into others when there’s enough space for the both of us in a, now, empty hallway?” I raised my eyebrows expectantly, eyes falling on his name tag. Kwon Soonyoung. I haven’t heard of him before, however, his face is one I would have remembered for sure if I saw it around. Is he new? Or just invisible like me?

“Uh, sorry…” The boy scratched his neck embarrassed as he looked around us, “I overslept, so I’m in a hurry to get to my second class in time--”

“We are already late, so don’t bother” I sighed as I walked around the boy to start my walk, now casual, towards my class. I was for sure late now, the teacher probably inside, there was no need for me to rush anymore.

“You overslept too?” The boy was by my side and I nodded my head wordlessly.

“I’m Kwon Soonyoung!” He extended his hand while we were walking and I looked at him before shaking his hand firmly. He was smiling widely and I offered him a close-lipped smile.

“I’m Lim Y/N” I introduced myself and Soonyoung nodded his head violently.

“I know!” He was excited as he kept grinning, his eyes disappearing completely, cheeks even puffier. I could pinch those cheeks right now.

“Yeah, we have name tags…” I muttered with a chuckle as we rounded the corner.

“No, I know who you are!” My eyes fell on the overly excited boy walking next to me and my eyebrows furrowed. How did he know who I am but I didn’t know who he was?

“Did we meet before?” I asked confused as Soonyoung stopped walking.

“No” He chuckled and looked at a closed-door he was standing in front of, “But we always arrive at the same time to school...well, besides today…”

“Oh” I muttered as I tried to remember his face but couldn’t connect it to his words, “If you say so”

“I’m not well known, but that’s fine” He chuckled as he shrugged his shoulders. I glanced at my wristwatch and figured I should really get to class now.

“I’ll see you around then, I guess,” I said as Soonyoung nodded before knocking on the door he was standing in front of.

“See you” He winked before sliding the door open and stepping inside while bowing. What a weird boy, I thought to myself as I walked down the hallway, finally arriving to my class. I did the same thing Soonyoung did and thanked the heavens the teacher asked no questions.

Our eyes stayed locked as I wondered what Soonyoung was thinking. He looked troubled; eyebrows furrowed as his eyes fell to my lips. My heart rate picked up again and I was ready to refuse a second round, tonight I wasn’t feeling it anymore. But Soonyoung said nothing as he scooted closer and draped an arm around my naked torso, his naked body coming in contact with mine. His skin brushing against mine made me feel like I was on fire, as if a few minutes ago he wasn’t inside me making me feel things only he could. The way our bodies molded together made me almost forget the things I wanted to tell him. I could never truly muster up the courage to tell him that I love him more than a friend, after all, we are just friends. Friends who help each other out in desperate times. I’ve known Soonyoung for almost ten years. 

We met in high school for the first time and quickly became friends, connecting over our similar interests and the fact that we were pretty much invisible to the others, friendless. Soonyoung was always happy and smiling, he quickly became someone I relied on upon and confided in. When he needed someone serious to talk to or just listen to his rants, he knew he had me and that I wouldn’t judge him, as many others did. But then high school was over and we made empty promises to keep in touch throughout college, but I wasn’t too wealthy so I couldn’t attend the same college he chose. And in our second year, Soonyoung transferred to a bigger city to have part of better education, leaving me behind. And slowly like that, our friendship faded into distant happy memories. We both went on with our lives, sending each other birthday wishes when those days came around the year, but never truly did anything to reach out for a real conversation. I figured he was busy and if he really wanted to talk to me, he’d know where to find me. College came to an end after a few years and soon I found myself working in an office where my boss was loathsome, I didn’t last for long there, only a year. And that’s when I found my dream job presented to me. A wedding planner agency, they had a free spot for the interior designing of the places the soon-to-be-wed couple chose. So, I applied and I got the job. Everything went well there, the colleagues were nice and soon I found myself in a friendly relationship with everyone from the office. Our boss was a very nice older lady, hair always in a bun and lips always painted a nice shade of pink. She was always smiling and she always knew how to create a welcoming and pleasant environment for her working place. Maybe that’s what attracted her to Soonyoung so much. He emitted a certain warmness that drew people in, a small always on his face. He was rarely angry, he stayed calm in stressful situations, and he always had a joke for when times became unbearable. So, he got employed. To the same company I have been working for, for five years. And he changed, a lot. His innocent smiles from high school turned into flirty ones. His somewhat raspy voice turned into a full rasp and sultry comments. He got taller too, his body lean and worked. His dark hair didn’t grow much, but the curliness was gone and nowadays a few strands were always falling in his eyes. The puffiness from his cheeks subsided and he became manly looking, his sharp eyes keeping you fixated on a spot if he wanted to. His behavior didn’t change much, except he became more confident and less invisible. Unlike me, throughout the years I turned more into myself and realized I didn’t need people to be close to me, I felt more comfortable being on my own. Maybe it was the fear of getting to know someone more only to be left behind, like it happened with Soonyoung, but I was content. It’s not like I was actively looking for a friendship, even though sometimes I would complain about it to my sister, emphasis on sometimes. But of course, when Soonyoung and I reconciled, things were bound to happen. We weren’t oblivious teenagers anymore, we were adults with certain needs. And somewhere along those lines, we found ourselves in a friend with benefits kind of relationship. I didn’t even know I found Soonyoung attractive until he kissed me behind the club while we went out so that he could take a cigarette break, he’s an amazing dancer, by the way. But now I wish he didn’t kiss me that night, a year ago, because maybe then I wouldn’t feel so choked up by the feelings he makes me feel now. 

“Did you look for decoration for the reception?” Soonyoung’s sleepy voice broke me out of my thoughts. By how slowly he was breathing, I assumed he already fell asleep.

“Sort of,” I mumbled quietly, not fighting the urge to play with his hair anymore, “I can’t decide on the colors”

“What does the bride want?” Soonyoung’s question got muffled when he pressed a kiss between my breasts. 

I sighed and gulped as my heart continued beating violently, “She didn’t specify, but I’m leaning more towards beige” 

“Beige is always a good color choice” Soonyoung muttered as his long fingers ran down the side of my body.

“Yeah” I muttered as I looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm my erratic heart beating. I knew he could hear it, or feel it, and it made me anxious. Would he think it was from the sex or did he know how much these little interactions, touches, actually made me feel? But tonight, I didn’t want to find out, tonight I just wanted to take a hot shower, drown a whole bottle of wine and go to bed, in my own bed.

“I have to head home” I spoke up as I cleared my throat, glancing down at Soonyoung. He groaned as he muzzled his face more into my chest, his hair tickling my breast.

“Did your mom give you a new curfew?” He joked as he lifted his head and gazed at me. I chuckled and rolled my eyes, trying to hide the blush that came onto my cheeks at the view in front of me. I could never get used to the image of Soonyoung after sex. He looked so hot while disheveled. 

“No, but my boss won’t be impressed if I’m late to work--”

“Again” We chorused at the same time, both of us giggling, Soonyoung’s eyes disappearing as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. I quieted down and licked my lips, awaiting his next move. He really didn’t seem like he was about to move, so I nudged him with my leg. 

“Get off, leech, I can’t get up” Soonyoung’s laughter echoed in the quiet room and I shook my head at him, “I’m serious”

“Can’t you just sleep over?” He whined like a little kid and I shook my head, raising to my elbows, closing the distance between our faces. Soonyoung’s breath mixed with mine and I really wanted to lean in and capture his lips with mine, so when he did it first, I hummed contently. I let my eyes fall closed as our lips moved lazily against each other, knowing this was Soonyoung’s way of trying to trick me into staying with him, I didn’t let myself get lost in the feeling of him, even if I wanted to.

“I’m going” I muttered as I tilted my head back, away from Soonyoung’s lips. He just groaned and started kissing my neck instead.

“Stay” He muttered, lazily landing a wet kiss on my jaw, “Please?”

“No.” I said firmly as I lowered my head to look into his eyes. I leaned forwards and pecked his lips quickly before gently pushing him over, letting him fall on his back on the bed.

“Let me drive you home?” He asked as I quickly rose from the bed and found my underwear, putting it on.

“I’ll call for a cab” I answered him as I bent down to pick up my black jeans, feeling his eyes on me.

“With me, you are safer” He argued and I sighed as I threw on my grey sweater, zipping my jeans up.

“I’ll text you when I get home” I found my socks and smiled in victory as one was thrown underneath the bed.

“You better not forget it this time” Soonyoung’s glare was playful as he sat up on his bed, still fully naked. I gave him a pointed look before seeing his briefs at the foot of the bed and throwing it at him.

“You know I probably will and get dressed, you’ll get sick” I scolded him as I went around his bed to close the window and pull the curtains closed.

“You know the old ladies love a good show” He wiggled his ass as he pulled his briefs on and I giggled as I opened the locked door of his bedroom. I was surprised to find the lights on in the kitchen, a very sleepy Jihoon rubbing his eyes as he eyed a carton of milk in the fridge.

“You’re leaving?” He asked surprised, jumping when I accidentally bumped my bag into the table by the bathroom door.

“Yeah, I still have some work to do for tomorrow” I found my boots quickly and pulled them on, shooting Jihoon an apologetic smile, “I hope we didn’t wake you up…”

“Thank God you didn’t, Soonyoung is so loud” He grumbled with a glare and I heard a scoff coming from the living room.

“I know” I whispered with a chuckle and Jihoon shook his head before finally drinking out of the carton of milk.

“Hey! We share that together, can you stop leaving your saliva over everything?!” Soonyoung’s shriek made both Jihoon and I groan as the culprit came marching into the kitchen.

“I bought this with my own money!” Jihoon turned his back to Soonyoung when he tried taking the carton of milk from him. 

“It’s late, can’t you two be less noisy? I’m sure the family living underneath doesn’t appreciate you screaming at night…” I threw them a glance as I unlocked my phone and ordered a cab through the app, pulling my leather jacket on. 

“If you want to scold us, just leave already, mother” I flicked Soonyoung off as I unlocked the front door and opened it, poking my head back in.

“By the way, I love the new color, Jihoon” I whispered with a smile, the newly dyed blonde giving me an appreciative thumbs up. Soonyoung’s amused smile slowly slipped from his lips before he marched over, I didn’t miss the subtle glare thrown Jihoon’s way, and he went to playfully show the door in my face.

“Good night” He mumbled quietly, a softness rarely heard enveloping his voice.

“Night, Soo” I winked before turning around and heading for the stairs, ignoring the longing to turn around and crawl back into bed with him.

   Soonyoung was right, the color beige is always a good choice. I stared at the reception in front of me decorated in beige colors, a proud smile slipping on my lips. The fairy lights around the tables gave the room a dreamy feel and the flowers on each table brought a touch of freshness. The bride and groom were yet to arrive so my nerves were still over the roof. It was always hard and nerve-wracking when it came to decorating a place to other’s likes, even if all were discussed in detail. 

“Breathtaking, as always” The male voice whispered in my ear and I cringed away from Soonyoung. He was wearing his usual dark blue suit, rings decorating his fingers, and loose strands of black hair falling in his eyes.

“I told you to don’t do that here” I threw a glare at him as I took off between the aisles of tables and chairs. I heard Soonyoung chuckle behind me and I tried to ignore the sudden jump of my heart. I missed him even though I just saw him yesterday. 

“It’s just us here, Y/N, relax” Soonyoung took a different route as he bent down and started examining the silverware. 

“Half of the decoration team is here, Soonyoung, please” I rolled my eyes as I found a stray napkin on one table and picked it up.

“That’s Hana’s fault” Soonyoung’s voice turned stern as he came up beside me.

“Go easy on her, she’s been here for a month only” I pressed the napkin into his chest as clapping came from behind us. I turned around with a smile and headed towards our boss, her lips in a wide smile.

“This is spectacular, Y/N, you’ve been working for me for so long yet you surprise me each time!” She exclaimed as she looked around the room, patting Soonyoung’s arm when he came up beside me, napkin stuffed in his pocket now.

“Thank you, Mrs. Choi” I bowed my head and she walked past us, stopping by a table.

“Did you bring the cameras, Soonyoung?” She asked as she leaned down a bit to arrange the flowers in the vase.

“Everything is set, Mrs. Choi, we are waiting for the bride and groom” He answered her back smoothly, sending me a wink. I rolled my eyes as the clicking of heels caught my attention. Kim Yerim, dressed in all pink, came waltzing inside with her blonde hair in two pigtails. My eyes widened before I sighed, looking back at Mrs. Choi and Soonyoung.

“Morning!” She greeted in the loudest voice ever and came to a stop next to me, “Damn! This place is fucking awesome!”

I threw Yerim a look before I sighed again, pointing at her outfit, “Are you headed to Disneyland or something?” 

“I look like a princess, don’t I?” She giggled excited, twirling around in a slow pirouette. I pushed her shoulder playfully.

“More like a Barbie doll” Soonyoung walked up to us with a smirk on his lips, eyes traveling over Yerim’s body. I gulped as I looked at the wall ahead, trying to ignore the sudden fire that was ignited inside my body. Of course, Soonyoung flirts with every female from work, even Mrs. Choi sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I’m not bothered by it every time he does it. In fact, I hate it. How he just so casually compliments other women with his flirty tone, looking them up and down; and I know they feel weak in the knees; how he just so casually winks at everyone or the playful touches, especially with Yerim. I like Yerim, a lot, she’s eccentric, much like Soonyoung, and she’s fun to hang out with. She swears a lot, but that’s something everyone already got used to, yet I can never brush aside the want to grab her by her silky blonde hair and smash her head against a wall. Sometimes she wears something overly sexy just because she likes the attention from Soonyoung, and I know because she confessed to it some time ago while we were on a coffee break in the recreation room. I wanted to throw my coffee at her when I heard her words. Very mature, I know.

“Guess you could be my Ken for tonight?” Yerim raised her eyebrows, a smirk crossing her lips and my jaw clenched when Soonyoung chuckled airily, leaning a bit closer to her.

“Just for tonight?” I wanted to kick him, drag him away by his hair, gag his mouth with toilet paper, and scream at him that I love him, that I want him, that he’s mine. But instead, I took a deep breath and exhaled quietly, trying to put on an amused smile and smooth out the venomous tone wanting to come through.

“You can sort out your business after we are done here,” I gripped Yerim’s arm a bit too harshly and turned her around, “Because the bride just arrived and you need to dress her up for the photoshoot”

“Fuck, she’s here?” Yerim exclaimed, “I gotta run to the car to bring in the clothes, catch you later!”

I shook my head as Soonyoung giggled while we watched Yerim run away in her pink stiletto heels. Mrs. Choi was still at the front, sorting out the name tags for the tables.

“Go do your job, Mr. Kwon” I turned to Soonyoung with raised eyebrows and he did a mocking salute before glancing back to see what Mrs. Choi was doing.

“Yes, ma’am, yes” Then he took a step closer and my eyes widened when he squeezed my ass, “I want to bend you over and fuck you against one of those tables, this dress fits your body in all the right places”

I bit my lower lip, staring into Soonyoung’s hooded eyes as his gaze dropped to my lips. Yes, I think I would like that proposition a lot, but then the words he said to Yerim rang through my head and the heat I felt was suddenly gone. Right, we are at work.

“Just...do your job, Soonyoung” I muttered breathless, pushing him away gently. He groaned as he took a glance at my lips again then walked out, leaving me with Mrs. Choi. I took a deep breath and tried to clear my foggy mind, organize my messy thoughts. Sometimes I wish I never agreed to this whole madness with Soonyoung. 

“Dear, I think you messed up a few names, come check it out!” Mrs. Choi called from the front of the room and I started walking towards her with a sigh.

“Coming now!”

       Pictures and pictures lay endlessly on my big counter in the kitchen, laptop pushed to the side and wine glass in my hands. Yesterday’s reception went amazingly, the bride and groom were in love with how I decorated the place and earlier today I was assigned another couple. They’ve been together for half a year only and they were pretentious. They had a sophisticated taste and every little detail mattered. They even instructed me to place five white pearls on each table, not more not less. It was challenging and my headache was turning stronger as I kept staring at various pictures of what I could do for the reception. I’ve been working in this field for a long time now, but some clients were indeed special. Special enough to give me a headache, that is. I groaned as I pushed the picture of the reception, that I did last year, beach themed, and placed my wine glass down, far away from my laptop and pictures. It wasn’t even that tiring, yet I felt like I haven’t slept in days. My brain was restless. It wanted me to tell Soonyoung everything, to confess finally. My chest felt heavy every time I had to look at him flirting with other women, draining a great deal of my energy. I want to confess, badly, but I’m scared. He’s so good at concealing his feelings, that I genuinely can’t even predict his reaction. Would he be surprised? Would he be angry? Would he laugh at me? Would he tell me he already knew? Would he tell me…he feels the same? Countless and countless scenarios ran through my mind as I quickly slapped my cheeks and looked back down at the pictures. Focus, Y/N, your job is more important than your feelings right now. The bride wanted purple colored decoration but the groom something orange. Now, these two colors would look hideous together but somehow, we have to make them work. How? That’s what I’m currently trying to work out. Maybe use purple decoration and put orange flowers here and there? Maybe use orange pearls? No, she pointed out she wanted white ones. What if I use white and orange ones? That wouldn’t look too bad. What if I decorate the bride and groom’s table orange and the rest purple? That shouldn’t look so bad. I should talk to Soonyoung first, see what his ideas are. After all, we are partners when it comes to our work, we do it together. We were supposed to be doing this together right now, actually, but something urgent came up and Soonyoung had to cancel. Something so urgent that he couldn’t even tell me about it, that hasn’t happened before. We are friends, first of all, we tell each other most things. As I reached for my glass of wine, my phone pinged, alerting me that I had a message. From Soonyoung, I knew because he has a different ringtone. I reached for my phone and opened it up as I took a small sip of my wine. I almost finished what I had poured out in my glass.

From Soonyoung: Be there in ten!

My eye widened as I nearly dropped my glass. Be here in ten? What does he mean? He can’t just come over like that! I’m not in the mood to get laid tonight, I actually have a lot of work to do! And he has too, what is he thinking?!

To Soonyoung: No, you can’t come over!

The response was almost immediate.

From Soonyoung: Too late, I’m two blocks away.

To Soonyoung: Don’t drive and text you idiot!

My heart started beating erratically as my eyes scanned my apartment. Shit! It’s a mess! I quickly hopped of from the stool and ran into my bedroom to put on a lacey bra. Maybe I can convince him to leave me alone tonight and actually get some work done together. I quickly pulled my hair in a low messy bun and ran back out to my living room. I quickly arranged the pillows on my sofa and turned off the TV, which was on for some background noise. I groaned as my eyes fell on the leftover pizza, that I left on the coffee table, the box too big for me to quickly throw away so I took it in my hands and walked to my counter and dropped it off behind it. No, you shouldn’t put food on the floor, am I desperate enough to do it? Yes. My kitchen was open so there was no wall separating my living room from it, just the counter. Before I could do anything else, I heard the turn of a key and the lock unlocking as Soonyoung came into view. I quickly put on a small smile, trying not to fidget much as my heart continued to beat quickly. I could never get enough of seeing him. It’s always as if it’s the first time. He takes my breath away. I gulped as I watched him take his shoes off at the entrance and he closed the front door, not locking it. Is this a quick visit then? Does he have an idea and he just quickly wants to give me the sketch? He wouldn’t have taken off his shoes then, or come over, he would have just done it tomorrow at work.

“So, what are you doing here?” I cleared my throat before speaking and Soonyoung looked at me with a wide grin. He looked so happy and enthusiastic that I couldn’t help it and returned the smile, with less energy though.

“Let’s sit down first!” He giggled as he skipped towards my grey sofa from the living room and I raised my eyebrows as I followed him, tugging on the sleeves of my oversized sweater. Soonyoung’s hands were crossed as he leaned his elbows forward on his knees and I sat next to him, a bit rigidly, as I waited for him to speak. I wanted to scoot a tiny little bit closer, to feel his body heat. He was like a magnet, always pulling me closer and closer until there was no space left between us. It was always so hard to not touch him when we were together. I always found somehow an excuse to lay my hands on him. Even if it was just the small action of smoothing down his shirt or collar of his coat.

“So…” He trailed off as he turned serious and I gulped. Did he figure it out? Does he know I love him? What’s with the sudden seriousness? He definitely isn’t here for sex. He would be undressing me by now if that was the case.

“So…” I trailed off, trying to get him to talk but patience laced my voice, to let him know it was okay if he needed time to word his thoughts.

“I’m going to be just plain forward, simple and honest.” He turned his head so that our brown eyes could look into each other’s, and I gulped loudly. Tonight, I fall, tonight he tells me he knew all along and that he can’t return the feelings. And that’s heart wrenching but perhaps even alright. I understand.

“I have a girlfriend” Silence, that’s what followed his words. Deafening silence. The sentence, ‘I have a girlfriend’, echoed through my mind as if he said it again. I gulped and smoothed out my face, no reaction.

“You have a girlfriend?” My voice was composed, sincere and curious. I even smiled, giggling inside. Soonyoung has a girlfriend? I silenced my thoughts, almost screaming at them to shut up, as Soonyoung opened his mouth to speak again.

“Yes” His voice was so quiet, he looked shocked. I was the one feeling shocked actually. My smile widened and for some reason, the way Soonyoung was watching me, made me feel like I was crazy.

“That’s amazing! I never thought I’d hear you saying those words!” I chuckled as I went to reach out and squeeze his hand, but stopped myself and instead scratched my thigh as if it started itching. He has a girlfriend, I can’t touch him, not anymore.

“Yeah-yeah…” Soonyoung breathed, gulping almost speechless as he continued watching me like a hawk, “It finally happened, I guess. It’s out of the blue, I know, but…yeah.”

“Damn, it is out of the blue!” I exclaimed and crossed one leg over the other, trying to hide my trembling hands as I slid them between my thighs, “But…you know, we are back to being friends. Just friends, Soonyoung”

Soonyoung’s jaw clenched at my words and I almost frowned as I bit my lower lip nervously, scared it would start trembling as well. My whole body was on the verge of trembling, my heart was thumping so loudly I was afraid I wouldn’t hear Soonyoung’s response.

“Just friends?” He whispered but then caught himself and cleared his throat, “Yeah! We are great friends, aren’t we?”

“Bestest friends, Soonyoung” I laughed, tears almost pooling up in my eyes, almost, “Since high school, eh?”

“Yeah, who would’ve thought…” Soonyoung shrugged his shoulders before abruptly standing up, “I have to work on the interior design, I didn’t get to do any work yet”

My eyes fell on my packed counter and my eyes remained glued to it. I didn’t want to look at Soonyoung anymore, I felt sick. Nauseous. I wanted to grab my glass of wine and throw it at him, but I forced myself to turn my head back and stare him in the eyes.

“You better, I’m almost finished with my ideas. Just drop off your sketches in my office tomorrow morning” Soonyoung nodded as he sniffed and glanced around my apartment before his eyes fell on my body, running all over it. I hated it; I hate him. Because I knew what he was thinking by the way his eyes darkened.

“You’re wearing my favorite hoodie” His voice was quiet and lower as he licked his lips and I walked up to him and quickly hugged him, but there was no force in my arms, no passion whatsoever.

“It’s late, I’m tired since I worked all day. See you tomorrow, Soonyoung” I didn’t give him time to reciprocate the hug and pulled away as I walked to the front door and grabbed the handle. Soonyoung smiled, but it didn’t look genuine at all, as he walked next to me and took on his shoes. His body was so close to mine that I could feel his warmness, his intoxicating scent. His eyes narrowed when he rose back up, scrutinizing me as my smile widened.

“Good night, then” He stepped out as I opened the door for him.

“Good night!” I watched him walk towards the elevator and push the button to order it up. He turned his head a little and I waved cutely at him, watching him as he boarded the elevator once it arrived. The doors closed and Soonyoung was gone from my vision. Disgust flooded my body as I closed my door slowly, the clicking of one lock feeling like a scream in my quiet apartment. The second lock, however, set everything off. The second turn of the lock, made my heart explode into a million pieces. My heart was glass and that glass just exploded into so many tiny pieces, that it would never be mended back together. It needs to be thrown away and replaced. But you can’t throw away a heart just like that. My hands startled trembling violently as I finally let my body do whatever it wanted. I was alone, I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. My thoughts, the ones I screamed at to stay silent, suddenly came back screaming at me. ‘I have a girlfriend’, it made me chuckle. Because, really, it’s very hilarious! How did I never notice?! Then it turned into a giggle, because, honestly, we are best friends! How did it slip through my fingers? How did I not see it sooner? Wait, why did he never tell me? And suddenly, I was sobbing. Tears were flowing down my cheeks so quickly that there was no reason for me to wipe them away, new ones would replace them. I leaned against the wall as my body curled into a ball as much as it could while standing. My thoughts screamed continuously: ‘This is your fault! Why did you not tell him earlier? Why are you sobbing right now? It’s disgusting what you are doing, please stop! You are such a fucking idiot, Y/N! He has a girlfriend.’

My head started throbbing worse and I straightened up and glanced around, eyes falling on the bottle of wine. My throat felt dry, my eyes were burning and there was definitely snot coming out of my nose, a bit salty, as I wiped it away with the sleeve of my sweater. Disgusting, I’ll have to wash it tomorrow. I grinned as I walked up to the counter and took the bottle in my hands, examining it. Rosé, my favorite. What a perfect timing to get fucking wasted. I sat on the stool and raised the bottle, pouring as much of the alcohol that I could in my mouth without choking myself. Suddenly then I realized that the throbbing of my head wasn’t the worst feeling I was feeling right now. Oh no. It was the hollowness in my chest that made me choke up and start another downpour of tears. It was so foreign yet so familiar. Turns out, I’ve always felt like this when it came to Soonyoung, just not this intensely. I wanted to rip my hair out, to kick someone, to scream at Soonyoung. How could he play with my heart so much without knowing what he was doing? Why did I allow him to do that? Why did I go so deep that I allowed him to make me feel like this? Like what? Like utter garbage, like the leftover you get disgusted by when you look at it, like that present you get from your aunt and you hate but you have to pretend you like? And disgust. It was so powerful, I wanted to scrub it all away. I glared at the last place where Soonyoung stood not so long ago and took off towards the window, forcefully opening it to get rid of his scent. I have to wash myself and every single clothing and bed sheet he’s ever touched. I have to clean everything. I have to clean myself.

        The next morning, I looked worse than what I felt like. My eyes were burning, still, puffy and even red. My nose was red and my upper lip swollen. I looked horrible and I panicked more and more the longer I looked in the mirror. Not even makeup can salvage the way I look, at least not the kind of makeup that I know how to apply. I groaned as I grabbed my phone and dialed the person I wanted to talk to least as first thing in the morning.

“It’s so fucking early! You are lucky I was already awake or else—”

“Good morning” I cut Yerim off with a grunt and the girl just sighed.

“Are you okay?” She asked calmly, realizing how weird this was. I rarely called the girl for anything other than work and I didn’t even tell her yet what I needed.

“Somewhat” I muttered as I tried to tame my wild hair, “Question.”

“Shoot, damn, you’re making me anxious, Y/N!” I rolled my eyes as Yerim shuffled on the other end of the phone.

“Can you do my makeup today?” I asked while chewing on my lower lip, afraid of her reaction.

“Fuck yes! Finally!” Yerim exclaimed and I scrunched my nose up at her loudness, “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life!”

“Okay, cool, I’ll see you in an hour at work!” Before she could say anything else, I quickly hung up and groaned. God damn it, I look horrible! I quickly pulled my wild hair in a high ponytail and got to washing my face, trying to get the swell to go away with cold water. After drinking all the wine, I had in that bottle, I went and took a hot shower, burning my skin because I was drunk and stupid, and then proceeded to cry myself to sleep. I don’t think I have ever before cried so much. My chest felt empty and hollow still, my eyes filled with tears still when I thought of Soonyoung, but I felt lighter. The break down last night wasn’t something pretty but it was better than bottling it up for longer. I already bottled up too many things.

When Yerim saw me, she gasped and probably swore for at least ten minutes, I didn’t check the time. She didn’t ask questions so at least I didn’t have to come up with a stupid excuse, but she scolded me every five minutes and kept saying she’d have to come over to give my skin a treatment after I dared to destroy it last night. I was itching to ask her if she had a treatment for my broken heart as well, but I didn’t. I would sound bitter and I didn’t want to explain myself. Today, I wanted to be left alone. By everyone. I wanted to close my eyes every time Soonyoung passed by, I wanted to block out his voice, his flirty and annoying remarks. I just wanted to work on the design for the upcoming reception, but for that I needed to see Soonyoung. And I didn’t want to do that, so I postponed our meeting. We have a whole month until the reception, I don’t have to rush myself so much right now. I need at least a week to recover.

But that was a lie. A week turned into a week and five days. It was finally Friday and I’d be free for the next two days. I could do some touch up on the sketches Soonyoung left in my office last week and finally organize a meeting where we can talk about all the little important details. I still wasn’t ready to just face him, but I had to suck it up. We are adults, aren’t we? I might as well start acting like it, but only starting from next Monday. Today, I shall still wallow in my pain and ignore Soonyoung as best as I can. Which is starting to become harder and harder as his text are becoming more and more overwhelming. I could brush him off for one week, making it seem like I was actually busy with work and not dying a little bit more every night while I watched my favorite movie, ate mint chocolate ice cream and drank wine to wash away the hollowness in my chest. It didn’t even work, it just made it worse for the next day when I looked in the mirror and saw how messy and unkept I looked. I didn’t exactly care but I knew I had to stop being a baby when even Mrs. Choi voiced her concerns about my well-being. I didn’t even know others could see my suffering. Everyone but Soonyoung, who would happily waltz into my office from time to time and tell me random things, which used to entertain me before, but now they were just pissing me off. I wanted to smash his face in, but I couldn’t.

  I was quietly enjoying my coffee in the recreation room when another person entered, making me sigh to myself quietly. I’d have to make conversation again, lovely. But as I turned to face the incomer, my breath caught in my throat and my heart thudded in a dull way. Soonyoung was standing close to me, staring me in the eyes intently, with his eyes narrowed. I gulped and quickly raised the mug to my lips to take a big sip of my coffee, finding it as an excuse to break eye contact.

“Okay, what’s happening with you?” Soonyoung asked when I loudly slurped the coffee, voice angry. My eyes widened as I looked at him, taken aback by his sudden anger. He was rarely angry; it took a lot to piss of Kwon Soonyoung.

I gulped and shrugged as I side stepped him, putting distance between our bodies, “I don’t know. Nothing?”

He was only standing so close to me to intimidate me, to make me tell him what he wanted to know. But I wouldn’t do what he wanted anymore, we were over that. I wasn’t going to bend to his wishes so easily anymore.

“How’s your girlfriend doing?” I asked with a smile, trying not to cringe at the word ‘girlfriend’ and to keep an even tone.

“Pretty well, don’t change the subject” Soonyoung snapped and I dropped my fake happy smile.

“I didn’t” I muttered and continued to slurp my coffee loudly, realizing it was pissing Soonyoung off more. It was actually quite entertaining to watch him clench and unclench his jaw while he glared at my mug, who knew such little action could tick him off!

“Yes, you did and stop slurping that God damn coffee like a five-year-old!”

“Woah, woah, there, horsy! What’s got your knickers in a twist?” I asked with a snicker and Soonyoung opened his mouth lightning fast but he closed it a second later. He took a deep breath and his eyes softened. My heart skipped a beat, the broken pieces becoming a bit more broken if that’s possible, and I tried to look away from his face but our eyes were glued together.

“I don’t know what’s happening with you, but you barely speak to me nowadays” Soonyoung spoke quietly, leaning against the counter defeated. Shit, guilt enveloped me as I watched his tired face, “Your responses to my text messages are dry, you don’t hang out with me anymore and you always throw me out of your office when I have something to rant about! Why are you ignoring me?!”

I lowered my mug on the table that was between us and tried to push down the sudden urge to walk up to him and hug him tightly and apologize, “I know, I just…I’m so busy. These clients are really making me work hard. I mean, their color combination is horrible and we have to make it work somehow. I’m also trying to match the decoration to your sketches, while trying to find a fitting set for the photoshoot. I guess I just got really busy suddenly. But when we are done with these clients we can—uh, hang out…”

“Hang out, yeah” Soonyoung whispered as he looked down at the ground and I bit my lip nervously. It’s not like what I said was a total lie, “Jihoon misses you, you should come hang out with us sometime when you decide to rest even for a second”

Jihoon misses me. Only Jihoon? Jihoon and I aren’t even friends, we just know each other because he’s Soonyoung’s flat mate and because I would go over to have sex with Soonyoung almost daily. I wanted to hear Soonyoung saying he misses me, I wanted him to tell me he can’t live without me, that his heart breaks every day more as we spend less and less time together. This is just like the first time we grew apart, but a lot more painful. Back then I thought I only lost a friend, now I feel like I lost a piece of myself as well.

“I’ll see when I finally get to rest” I smiled at Soonyoung again before quickly leaving the room, leaving a solemn Soonyoung behind. Unlike me, he radiated more and more as days went by. His smile was wider than ever, his laughter louder than before. He even stopped flirting so obviously with the other women, especially Yerim, and it made me think how serious his relationship must be. He never spoke about it, but the little changes said enough. Or at least the little changes he wanted us to see, his real feelings buried deep inside away from everyone’s eyes.

        The day was finally over and I dragged myself home. My apartment quickly became my sanctuary over the past week. Here nobody could bother me if I didn’t let them in and most importantly! I didn’t have to see Soonyoung! If before I couldn’t wait to see Soonyoung, now I can’t wait to get away and ignore him. It’s not the best way to deal with things, I’m further ruining our friendship, but it’s the only way I can cope. For now, I’ll just ignore him for as long as I can, and once I get over him, I can tell him why I did what I did. He would understand me, for sure, and hopefully even forgive me. If I thought before, that I think too much about Soonyoung, ever since he told me he has a girlfriend I feel like I’m obsessed with him. I’m constantly thinking of him and all the if’s that could have been. It’s not healthy and I keep telling myself to stop, but it’s really hard. I want to be the one he hugs and whispers his lame jokes to when cuddling in bed. I want to be the one who gets to wake up to him next to me every morning and cook together breakfast that will be burnt in the end. I want to be the one who’d argue with him for having a messy room, and I want to be with him and plan a future, our future. But I’m not and that thought drives me into craziness and I just want to run into a wall and let my body fall crushed to the ground. But I can’t do all those, I have to live my life. This is just another cruel joke that life has to offer me and so far, I’m not taking it well at all. Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Surprisingly enough, ever since I became pretty much depressive, I found the little motivation hidden deep inside to clean up my apartment and cook daily! My apartment hasn’t been this clean ever since I stopped living with my parents, I made great effort to keep it crystal clear. I even started calling Yerim almost daily to ask her for new recipes, apparently, she’s an amazing cook! I never knew all the cookies she brough to work were cooked by her! It’s as if the suffering Soonyoung caused me has opened my eyes to a new world, in which he didn’t play that much part, and that world, as painful as it was, was actually much better and liberating. But my high spirits were crushed when I opened one cupboard and saw I had no pasta…or sauce for the pasta. I then thought of ditching home cooked dinner but then I opened my fridge and realized I drank all the wine last night. Damn it! I groaned loudly as I turned around and quickly hopped into my white sneakers and pulled on my brown coat. I must look horrible wearing sweatpants, and a turtle neck with a coat. But the little market is just five minutes away, it’s already 8pm, there’s not many people outside since it’s cold. I locked the front door and instead of taking the elevator and wasting my time by waiting for it, I quickly raced down the seven flight of stairs and left the building, shivering at the cold. I underestimated the weather tonight, I should have worn my thick jacket instead of this coat! But that only urged me to walk faster in order to reach the market and the lovely warmness. The bell chimed loudly, the sound drowned out by the music coming from the stereos, as I pushed the door open and stepped inside. There was no one behind the counter and I looked around, trying to remember where the pasta was last time. The boss of the market has a weird habit of reorganizing the aisles every few weeks, confusing, but I won’t question it. As I passed by the freezers my eyes fell on the wines and I hurried towards them, quickly zeroing out my favorite brand. I took a bottle off the shelf and looked around to find the pasta. It was at the second aisle to my left and I strutted towards it with a victorious smile. However, once I got there, I stopped with furrowed eyebrows. What kind of pasta should I buy? There are so many types, I never understood the logic behind it. Isn’t pasta, pasta? Why do you need so many types? Just make spaghetti and everyone will buy it! Why have penne, tagliatelle, tortilla and all the other types that I don’t even know the names of. I rubbed my chin as my eyes juggled between the tagliatelle and the penne. I want to eat Carbonara tonight, but won’t it be too greasy if I use tagliatelle? Maybe I should just go for penne. But penne are so small! I sighed as I took a step back and continued to think of which one to choose, playing with the bottle of wine in my hands. I was so lost in thought that I almost didn’t notice the guy slowly inching closer and closer, eyes focused on the products that were displayed on the shelf. If I wouldn’t have stepped back when I did, he definitely would’ve crushed my toes.

“Oh” He whispered at my sudden movement, eyes widening. My lips formed a thin line as I looked at him wordlessly, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there”

“Yeah, I figured” I mumbled as I watched from the corner of my eye as he bowed his head a little bit. He had light brown hair and it was falling all over his forehead in little waves. I ignored the stranger as I looked back at the different types of pasta and just sighed. But my sigh was louder than I expected, in fact, I realized, the stranger looked just as defeated as I felt. Hearing my sigh caught his attention as I saw him glancing at me from the corner of his eyes.

“You have trouble choosing one?” I found myself asking as I glanced at the stranger again from the corner of my eye. He was quick to look away, but his slightly pink cheeks indicated the fact that he knew I caught him staring.

“Yeah!” The guy chuckled, his voice light and melodic. It carried a warmness that unwillingly brought a smile to my lips.

“You’ve been standing here for longer than me, though” He spoke up again, an amused smile crossing his lips as he looked at me, “You must be more troubled”

“Yeah!” I nodded, finally facing him fully. His eyes were big and I felt like he was smiling at me just with his eyes, as his lips now were in a pout. He was dressed casually and I couldn’t help but laugh when his outfit registered in my mind. His eyes widened a bit as he looked at me and I quickly shook my head.

“Nothing’s funny—I mean, I’m not laughing at you!” I quickly said before he could misunderstand furthermore, “Your outfit, it’s just—before I left my apartment, I thought how hideous I look wearing sweatpants with a coat.”

The handsome stranger looked down at his outfit and then back at me, his eyes wide again, “I know, right?! My friend would be horrified if he saw me dressed like this!”

I giggled and nodded my head quickly, realizing Yerim would’ve skinned me alive, “Mine wouldn’t have appreciated it either”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow and I almost choked when I realized the sudden warmness on my cheeks was me blushing. Since when do I speak to strangers? Wait, no, since when does a stranger make me blush by such little action? Well, I can’t blame myself too much, this stranger is really eye catching. He’s handsome, I mean, really, handsome.

“So…did you decide yet on what pasta you want?” He cleared his throat as he looked away sheepishly, and I wanted to think it was because he saw my blush and became shy. This stranger wasn’t just handsome, he was actually really cute. And it’s weird how his voice solely made me feel safe, I don’t even know him. But something about his whole demeanor screams safety and lots of warmness. I can imagine what a day would feel like with him. Lots of giggles and laughter, and good time spent well together.

“I don’t understand why there’s so many types. Wasn’t one enough? Why do I have to choose one? What’s their purpose?” The stranger started laughing as I sulkily stared at the shelf, glaring at the pasta. Suddenly something warm spread through my chest hearing his laughter again, and I blushed, again.

“Well, if it helps, I don’t know either, but I choose penne” He stepped forward and grabbed a pack of penne before turning around to face me.

“I think I’m going with the same choice…” I muttered as I followed his previous actions and turned to face him once I had the pack in my right hand, left holding the wine. I made sure to leave a respectable amount of space between us, even though I wouldn’t have minded being a bit closer to him. He had an innocent sort of lure that was getting harder to ignore.

“I’m Joshua.” After a few seconds of silence, the stranger, Joshua, spoke up. His name rolled down effortlessly his tongue, articulating the name with a perfect American accent. I blushed and I almost slapped my own cheek in front of this handsome man—Joshua.

“I’m Y/N,” I squeaked out once I realized I stayed quiet for too long, “Uhm—your name it’s—uh…you’re a foreigner?”

I wanted to dig my own grave as I stuttered over my own words, my cheeks becoming warmer as a sweet smile appeared on Joshua’s lips. Many would have been amused by my reaction, but he looked understanding, like he wasn’t bothered by me asking.

“Sort of,” He started explaining and I raised my eyebrows at his answer, “I grew up in LA, but I moved back when I was around ten years old”

“Oh,” I nodded in understanding and Joshua scratched the back of his neck, “Explains the subtle accent”

He chuckled and now it was his turn to blush and I had to bite my lip to not smile so widely, “Yeah, well—you could call me Jisoo too. But I might not react to that name…”

“I think Joshua fits you, it’s a pretty name” A pretty name for a pretty boy, I almost continued aloud, feeling just as flustered as Joshua looked.

“Thank you” He mumbled quietly and I cleared my throat and motioned for us to start walking.

“You live in the neighborhood?” I asked as we walked towards the cashier.

“No, but my friend does” Joshua answered with a shake of his head and I hummed, glancing at him again. He was attention capturing, my thoughts were suddenly silenced. I was only focused on him, a sudden calmness overtaking me, calmness I haven’t felt in long. Even the hollowness in my chest felt subsided. And he’s just a stranger, he made me feel like that in the ten minutes we interacted. Could he make me feel more if we were to spend more time together? With the sudden surge of confidence and curiosity, I opened my mouth to speak up again.

“Do you want to exchange phone numbers?” Joshua stopped walking and he turned to look at me shocked. I examined his face to see if I made him uncomfortable, but he only looked surprised, “It’s fine if you don’t want to, Joshua”

“No! I actually want to!” He quickly spoke up and fished his phone out of his pocket at lightning speed. I smiled and took it in my hands, his phone unlocked already, as I went to his contacts to type in my number.

“I left my phone at home so you’ll have to text me first” I said with a wink as I handed his phone back after I saved my number, “I really hope you’ll text me…”

Joshua giggled as he quickly worked something on his phone, his fingers working fast before he was showing the phone’s screen to me.

To Y/N: Hi, this is Joshua. I promise I’m not a creep, can you promise me the same thing?

I laughed quietly as I nodded my head when Joshua put his phone away, “I can promise you that I’m not a creep.”

“Good.” He grinned and placed his items on the counter, “As much as I’d like to spend some more time with you right now, Minghao isn’t a very patient person, and we are hungry too”

“Oh, yes, sure! Wouldn’t want to hold you back from having dinner” I placed my own items on the counter as Joshua paid for his purchase. The cashier scanned my wine and penne before she placed the items in a bag.

“I hope you’ll answer my text, I’m not very patient when it comes to texting…” Joshua said in a teasing manner as he held the door open for me, we walked out together after I paid.

“Give me five minutes” I chuckled as we stopped in front of the shop, shivering as the cold breeze passed underneath our coats.

“I’ll give you ten” Joshua smiled a bit and I chuckled before biding him goodbye and quickly hurrying home. I wasn’t even that hungry anymore, I just wanted to talk to Joshua. I was giddy and breathless by the time I made it up to my apartment, having ran up seven flight of stairs. It felt like all my worries were gone as I looked forward to texting Joshua, a good feeling spreading through my body.

        It only took us two days to agree on going on a date. It was the fastest someone has taken me out on a date after getting to know me. But during those two days, Saturday and Sunday, I felt like I’ve known Joshua for my whole life. He was really funny, in a very innocent way meanwhile Soonyoung’s energy always drained me. However, Joshua, he knew how to balance out being serious but funny at the same time. Sometimes he would make snarky comments and I didn’t fail to notice his mischievous nature. He liked to play pranks on his friends, I found out after he told me a story of him pranking his two friends at work. His boss wasn’t very impressed with Joshua but he likes him too much to fire him for such petty thing, and it was April 1st. Joshua worked as a banker in the city center, half an hour away from my own office. He likes to take long walks in his free time, he likes going on little trips in the country, rides his bicycle every Saturday in the forest on the outskirts of the city, he likes playing the guitar and watching movies when he’s feeling stressed. We agreed on doing a movie night the next time he gets stressed. I felt like a high school girl when talking to Joshua. My heart would start beating faster every time my phone alerted me that I had a new message and I would be really disappointed when it was just a simple notification and not Joshua texting me. However, he did keep his word about being an impatient texter. He really didn’t make me wait with his replies and if he was busy, he’d tell me, so that I knew why he wasn’t able to answer me right away. On Friday, the day we met in the shop, we stayed up until 3 am texting. I would burst out laughing every five minutes, maybe it was from the wine in my system, but everything Joshua said that night seemed to be overly funny. He told me he’s never seen someone looking so serious while shopping for pasta, neither did he think someone would get frustrated over such topic: ‘why are there so many types’. My cheeks flared up when he confessed telling his friend, Minghao, that he took so long to arrive back to his apartment because he was talking to a chick who was angry at pasta. He also said, Minghao’s words, “that he can’t believe Joshua was able to pick up a girl looking dressed like that”. I had to agree with Minghao and Joshua feigned hurt for a good ten minutes, ten minutes that I wouldn’t stop laughing because wasn’t Minghao right? Even I thought we looked ridiculous dressed like that. It was hard to put my phone aside and focus on my work, work that I tried pushing to the back of my mind, because it reminded me of Soonyoung. And Joshua made me feel so good and happy, that even the thought of thinking of Soonyoung infuriated me. I didn’t want to see him or think of him, I didn’t want the hollowness in my chest to return, the frustrating thoughts and wondering of what could have been, I wanted peace and happiness. Joshua offered me those and I tried to focus on them while working, even if it was hard. Soonyoung hasn’t texted me for three days now, and I would lie if I said I didn’t hope he’d do it. I missed him, again, and I missed him badly. I wanted to cuddle up next to him in bed and whine about the horrible color choices the bride and groom made. That I couldn’t handle this task without him, that I could barely handle myself without him. But I refused to do that, I realized it was unhealthy and I realized Soonyoung truly does see me as his best friend and I’m ruining the friendship we tried so badly to restore once we met again at work. I was selfish for ignoring him, but I couldn’t think of any other coping way. His words still hurt me, his words like poison to my heart. But Joshua…he made it all go away. He pulled me in and made me think of the present only and the feelings he was giving me. No Soonyoung, no pain. That’s why I decided Joshua deserved a chance, I deserved a chance. Soonyoung was happy, then why wouldn’t I be too? Why limit myself to a man who didn’t see me the way I see him? It was time to mature and move on.

My smile spread from ear to ear as I read the text from Joshua, ‘Good morning, cutie ^^’, while I brushed my teeth. I slept well last night but now my stomach wouldn’t stop grumbling. And it wasn’t because I didn’t have breakfast yet, it was because in an hour I’d be on a date with Joshua. Our very first date, and hopefully there is many more to come. I quickly sent back a good morning text and did my morning routine. Once I was dressed in a nice dark green, form fitting, dress that reached my ankles, I grabbed my purse and folder that I needed for later for the meeting. My red high heels clicked loudly as I descended the stairs, I might hate elevators because they kind of make me feel claustrophobic. I quickly got into my car once I got outside, shivering at the cold morning breeze. Joshua had a tight schedule this week and so did I, it was my own fault really for postponing the meeting with Soonyoung for so long, so we agreed on having a breakfast date at the coffee shop that’s closest to both of our workplaces. The car ride to the coffee shop didn’t take as long as I expected, today’s traffic wasn’t so bad, that was a first. So, I got there earlier and decided to wait in front of the coffee shop, but to my surprise, Joshua was already waiting at the front entrance. I quickly hurried up and hearing my high heels, Joshua turned towards me and smiled. A wide smile appeared on my own lips as I stopped in front of him, cheeks warming up when he pulled me in a short but warm hug. We greeted each other shyly and Joshua opened the door for me, both of us shivering once we were inside and enveloped in warmness.

“What would you like?” Joshua’s eyebrows rose as he turned towards me.

“One tall Caramel Macchiato and a croissant sandwich.” I answered and Joshua nodded before walking to the front counter. I looked around and chose a seat that was next to the wall, a pretty painting of flowers hung above the table. There weren’t many people in the shop right now as it was early and most people were already at work, thankfully, our schedules started later on the day. We had two hours before we had to head to work.

“Here” Joshua whispered more to himself as he placed down a tray in front of me, my order on it. I thanked him and helped him with his own tray, taking it from him and placing it on the table as he took his coat off and hung it on the hanger behind our table. I quickly followed his actions and took off my own coat, hanging it next to his.

“Do you plan on telling me how much my order was?” I asked with a smile as Joshua chuckled and shook his head, “Okay, I’ll just look at the menu on our way out and pay you back before we part ways”

“Oh, come on, Y/N!” Joshua giggled as he leaned back in his chair, his warm brown eyes connecting with mine, “It’s our first date. Next time I’ll let you pay for both of us”

“Only if on the third date we get to split evenly” I pointed a playful finger at him and a big smile spread on his lips, which he tried to hide by drinking from his drink. It was Caramel Macchiato, good choice.

“I really like the idea of a third date…” He trailed off and I bit my lower lip, looking down at my food.

“To be honest, I haven’t been on a date in ages, so I might be a bit rusty at it” I admitted and giggled a bit, feeling embarrassed. I was too wrapped up in Soonyoung to go on dates, or to even think about someone else. Apparently, he wasn’t.

“Don’t worry, so far so good” I gave Joshua a pointed look and he shrugged his shoulders, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“We’ve been together for like…fifteen minutes?” I glanced down at my wrist watch, “I don’t think I had the time to fuck up yet”

“Yeah, about that…” Joshua’s lips pulled up in a thin line and I raised my eyebrows.

“Now you made me curious, tell me all about it”

“Uh, maybe it’s not a first date kind of subject to talk about—”

“No, no, you really have to tell me Joshua, or I’ll nag you forever about it” I smacked my lips in a tight line and Joshua sighed before clearing his throat. He sat up tighter and his sudden serious demeanor took me by surprise, but when his lips quivered, I realized he was joking around and I gave him a small glare.

“Right, so…I went on a date with a girl, like…two years ago?” His eyes narrowed as he thought for a second, but then continued on with his story, “And like…I offered to pick her up and drive her to the cinema, we were having a movie date, and then while we are in the car, she turns pale and stops talking to me”

“Oh, your breath must have smelled really bad, dude…” I muttered, interrupting Joshua, and he threw me a warning glare. I started giggling and quickly bit into my croissant to muffle the sound as Joshua just shook his head.

“That really wasn’t the case, Y/N, I was literally chewing on the strongest gum out there—”

“If it’s Orbit, it really isn’t the strongest one, Shua” I interrupted once again and he wanted to glare at me, but his lips turned into a smile. My cheeks warmed up realizing that I just gave him a nickname, but he seemed to really enjoy it.

“It was Airwaves Extreme, hon, that thing throws your throat on fire” Just like my cheeks are on fire right now? I gulped down the rest of the croissant that was in my mouth carefully, trying to ignore the fact that he called me ‘hon’, shit, this is the first date only and I’m already dying? Was I out of the dating life for too long or does Joshua really have this effect on me?

“Anyways, back to the important things—the girl had food poisoning, so I had to drive her to the hospital. She felt bad for our ruined date, and so did I, until I found out she was set up by her younger sister and wasn’t really looking for a new relationship because she was pinning on a different guy already” I gulped a bit harder, eyes locking with Joshua’s. His lips were in a grimace and I hummed quietly, telling myself that I’m not pinning on Soonyoung. I’m getting over him, whatever I felt for him will soon be gone. Gone, because I have Joshua, because I want to try this out with him.

“What about the tickets…” I mumbled and Joshua nodded with a solemn look on his face.

“Didn’t go to waste, I went to the movie with Jeonghan, the co-worker I pranked” I giggled remembering the story he told me on Friday and wiped my mouth with a tissue before speaking.

“I still can’t believe you poured glitter all over his desk and his suit!” Joshua started laughing, his chest moving up and down by the force of it and I grinned, once again, from ear to ear.

“He looked good with the pink glitter though” He said with a grin once his laughter died down and I hummed, biting into my sandwich again.

“Are you not going to eat your breakfast?” I asked as I glanced down at his plate, two toasts sitting untouched.

“We’ve still got time, right?” He raised an eyebrow and I nodded as I glanced at my watch. Half an hour has already passed, but we still had time, indeed.

“I feel like I did all the talking…” He trailed off, playing with his tissue, “Like, I told you a lot about myself. Not that you didn’t tell me about your hobbies or something, but, you didn’t really talk about your childhood or friends…”

I hummed and took a sip of my drink, clearing my throat before speaking up, “Well, because I consider myself a boring person? I mean, compared to your filled childhood, mine sounds so boring. So, I didn’t want to like…bore you with mine, you know…”

“If I found you boring, Y/N, I wouldn’t have stayed up until 3 am or texted you daily or asked you on this date or would’ve thought about the other many dates that I’d like to go on with you” Joshua spoke with passion and a serious voice, making my heart beat quicken. He really wanted to hear my story, to get to know me. He was curious of who I used to be before I blossomed into the person I am today. I forgot, how it works when you meet someone new. When Soonyoung and I reconciled, I didn’t have to tell him everything about my life, I just had to fill in the gaps of the time he wasn’t part of my life, he already knew the rest about me. But Joshua is someone new, someone who doesn’t know, someone who doesn’t know my past self. He wants to know me more, to discover me and create a future with me.

“Where do I start…” I sighed as I glanced at the beautiful painting before looking back at Joshua, “I’m an only child, I was well off while growing up but we did struggle from time to time. My mother owns a restaurant and my father is a taxi driver. I’m usually late to everything, it’s a bad habit my father passed down on me. I went to college in my hometown because we couldn’t afford me going to a prestigious one, but that’s okay. I’m doing my dream job now, it all turned out well in the end. I don’t really have friends, if I’m being honest, I already told you I was never bothered being on my own. Being alone isn’t something that scares me, it gives me comfort rather.”

Joshua listened to me closely and nodded his head every once and then, a warm and understanding smile on his lips, “Come on, you must have had at least one friend…”

“Well,” I chuckled and tried to keep a neutral expression while thinking about Soonyoung, “I guess I accidentally did end up making a friend. We met back in high school, but during college we drifted apart because he transferred to a better college. And because the world is so small…we met at work again, became co-workers, so we reconciled. He’s known me for the longest. I guess I could call Yerim a friend too but…you know, I don’t feel her close to me like I do with…Soonyoung”

Joshua studied my expression and he nodded while blinking, lips jutted out a bit, “So…it’s a he, huh?”

I shrugged and took a sip of my Caramel Macchiato, “He ran into me in the hallway when we were both late to class…that definitely wasn’t the last time we were late to somewhere”

Joshua chuckled and nodded his head, a charming smile directed at me. I bit my lower lip, suddenly feeling shy under his intense gaze. It felt like he was looking straight into my soul and I took my time to shamelessly check him out. He was wearing a dark brown suit, a white shirt underneath and no tie on. He looked very official, all buttons done, unlike Soonyoung. He was always showing his collarbones off, a necklace on from time to time and, of course, his rings. Soonyoung never left the house without his rings. Joshua was his opposite. He wore no jewelry, and as attractive as I found men wearing rings and necklaces, I found Joshua even more attractive with his put together and elegant look. His hair was still messy, however, falling in his eyes in waves and I thought it looked even more attractive now with his current outfit.

“I think I could get used to mornings like this one…” Joshua spoke quietly, smile now turned fond and I let out a small sigh of air, “You look really beautiful”

“Thank you,” His words were so innocent and genuine, unlike the filthy words Soonyoung would whisper in my ear while we were at work, “I knew men in suits were attractive, but you took it to a whole another level”

Joshua burst out laughing and I followed him, feeling light and warm. My cheeks would hurt by the end of this date, that’s how much I smile because of Joshua. My skin tingled and my heart quickened every time I took a sneaky glance at him and I realized, it took him two days to make me like him. And I didn’t just like him, oh no, I liked him very much. But maybe it was attraction at first sight, something that I haven’t felt before. Not even with Soonyoung. This feeling was brand new and reserved for Joshua only. Finally, something that Soonyoung couldn’t rob me off.

“You should eat your toast, Shua, because I know if you won’t, I sure will” I said with a shrug and Joshua shook his head before finally taking one toast and biting into it. I smiled at him contently and sipped my drink, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in two weeks.

Our date came to an end sadly and we left the coffee shop half an hour before we’d have to start working. Joshua didn’t have a ride because Minghao offered him one, apparently, he slept over at his apartment, so I offered to drive Joshua to his workplace and save him from freezing to death. We walked to the parking lot and I unlocked my car when we were a few feet away and my eyes widened when Joshua sat in the driver’s seat. I stopped walking and gazed curiously at the passenger door as it was opened from the inside.

“Get in, hon, I’m driving today” I couldn’t help but laugh as I finally sat inside, turning towards Joshua amused.

“What are you doing, Shua?” I asked airily, unable to stop laughing.

“I would’ve opened the door for you before getting inside, but I have a feeling you would have refused, so…I took matters in my hands and I’ll be driving you to work!” He clapped his hands together once, excitedly, before he reached for his seatbelt. I was still laughing as I buckled in my own and opened my palm so that he could take the car keys. When his long fingers brushed against the skin of my palm, something that felt like slight electricity traveled up my arm all the way to my chest. This was new, I’ve never experienced this before. Not even the first time Soonyoung touched me in a sensual way. Joshua must have felt it too when his eyes lingered on my palm, and I bit my lip and turned away to look out the window as he started my car, engine roaring to life.

“You’ll be cold by the time you arrive to the Bank” I tried to convince Joshua while we were still in the parking lot, “It’s a twenty-minute-long walk. What if you get a flu? We’ll have to postpone our second date and maybe I’ll have to come over and nurse you—”

“If I get you to come over by getting sick, I will catch a flu on purpose” I tsked and lightly punched his thigh as we were in traffic and not in the parking lot anymore, aiming for his arm would be dangerous.

“I will come over some time, idiot, don’t catch a flu—”

“Oh, good.” He grinned as we stopped at a red light, turning his head towards me, “Calling me an idiot on the first date?”

I instantly blushed, my whole face going red probably, “Sorry, that was inappropriate”

Joshua just chuckled, driving past the traffic light as it turned green, a smirk on his handsome face, “I see you’re getting comfortable around me, we love to see it”

“Joshua…” I muttered quietly, throwing him a glare that I knew he could see from the corner of his eyes. His smirk turned into a wide smile and I sighed as I looked out the window, fighting my own smile to act like I was sulking.

“Don’t worry, I called Jeonghan to pick me up while you were in the restroom” Joshua spoke in a reassuring, warm, voice and I turned towards him again, gaping a bit.

“You, Hong Joshua Jisoo, are something” I huffed out, “First, your friend drives you to your date, then you steal your date’s car and drive her to work, but then your co-worker picks you up!”

“What can I say,” Joshua turned his head just a bit, enough for me to see the sneaky smirk, to glance at me, “I have good connections and I can be very persuasive”

“Mhm” I hummed with a grimace and he just laughed, slowing the car as he turned on the street that led behind the building I worked in. He turned into the parking lot and parked my car nicely, turning the engine off. We undid our seatbelts and Joshua gave me the keys. I was reaching for the door handle but Joshua’s hand on my left hand stopped me from doing so.

“Not to sound cocky, but I think you had a great time with me and I felt amazing for the past two hours, so…that second date is set then?” I grinned at Joshua and nodded my head.

“We go cycling on Wednesday, yes?” Joshua nodded his head, his hand still on mine. My heart started beating quickly again and I glanced down at our hands before squeezing his fingers lightly. When I looked back up at him, his smile was replaced with a contemplating look and I gulped, hoping he’d lean in and kiss me. Peck me on the cheek or give me an actual kiss, I didn’t care as long as his lips touched my face.

“Cycling on Wednesday because you are busy on Saturday, that’s right.” Joshua spoke quietly, eyes on my lips and I just wanted to lean in and kiss him, but decided to ground myself, “See? I’m even changing my habits for you”

“Which is good in case a serial killer was following you and figured out your habit, Joshua” Maybe that sentence was a mood killer, because Joshua laughed and stopped looking at my lips. I really shouldn’t have said that, but I couldn’t help myself. I knew he wouldn’t judge me, so everything that ran through my mind had to be voiced. With Soonyoung, that simple sentence definitely would’ve been a mood killer. He would’ve whined about me being weird and ruining the mood with stupid remarks, but Joshua didn’t do that. No, he actually leaned in and pressed his red lips against mine. His were soft and a bit cold as I pressed my lips back, closing my eyes and enjoying the way my heart was about to explode, the blush on my cheeks and the tingling of my skin. The kiss only lasted for a minute but it was enough, I didn’t want it to last longer. It felt loving and reassuring. It wasn’t desperate and demanding, like the kisses I was used to receiving from Soonyoung. This kiss felt like it said ‘we’ve got all the time in the world, let’s take it slow’, and I liked slow. I liked the process and the freedom I felt still.

“Go inside before you are late, again, Y/N” Joshua spoke sweetly, patting my hand before opening his door. I nodded to myself, he’s not wrong, and opened my door, getting out. Once the car was locked Joshua walked me to the front of the building and looked up at it, squinting.

“Have a good day, don’t forget to text me when you have time.” He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

“I’m afraid I was too lazy and I really won’t have time to text you that much, maybe in the evening. You can still leave me messages, I’ll look at them when I have time!” Joshua hummed and nodded before patting down my hair.

“It was a bit ruffled…” He muttered and I smiled knowingly at him. Sure, it was, Joshua.

“Hey, yo!” Suddenly a shrill voice caught our attention and Joshua groaned, “Bro, you have exactly ten seconds to get in the car before I leave you here!”

Joshua closed his eyes in exasperation and I laughed as I pushed him forward, “Go, talk to you later!”

Joshua waved and winked as he jogged towards his friend’s parked car, Jeonghan I assume, his car was blocking the traffic and cars were already honking behind him.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Jeonghan shouted, his window still down, as he looked back at me, “Nice to meet you, pretty lady! Next time Joshua can introduce us formally, but we’ve got to go before these monsters cuss me out!”

“Bye!” I laughed and waved as Joshua rolled the window up, cheeks flushed as he shook his head at me, and Jeonghan took off, lips moving quickly as he spoke to Joshua. With a smile on my face, and carefree, I walked inside the building feeling proud that I wasn’t late today.

        My happiness didn’t last for long, as I was expecting it already. Everything went well until Soonyoung and I finally met up for the meeting in my office. I had all plans and sketches laid out on my table, all ready before Soonyoung came, so that we wouldn’t waste time on that as well. We were on a tight schedule and two weeks went by without us doing much, which was really my fault. But that meant that right now we had to move fast and decide what we wanted so that we could order everything for the reception and be ready on time. My stomach was making sounds the closer the time of the meeting came and I blamed it on the little breakfast I had, but I knew it was because of Soonyoung. I wasn’t ready to face him, not after the amazing morning I had with Joshua. I wanted to stay relaxed and cheerful, but I knew upon seeing Soonyoung I would turn moody and irritated. Seeing him would only make me miss him more, something I didn’t need right now. A knock on my door made me jump and I straightened up in my seat before calling out for the person that it was okay to enter. The door opened and in walked Soonyoung, looking just as flawless as always. He was still wearing his black suit, upper buttons of his white shirt undone and rings on his fingers. My eyes focused on the pendant hanging around his neck, realizing it was the one I bought him two years ago when we went on a vacation in Jeju. I gulped and focused my eyes on his face, trying to give him a genuine smile.

“Good morning,” He greeted quietly as he shuffled around, frowning down at the papers in his hands. I bit my lip and stopped myself before I could sigh, I really missed hearing his voice. I’ve been doing my best to ignore him and I was succeeding at it way too well.

“Good morning,” I greeted back once I found my voice, Soonyoung now was seated across from me, all papers placed down on the table.

“Fancy seeing you finally decided to meet up.” His voice was bitter and I rolled my eyes as I looked down at his sketches, refusing to make eye contact with him even though he was searching for my gaze intently.

“Yeah, I was really undecided about this project…” I muttered, reaching across my table and taking Soonyoung’s sketches into my hands. He mimicked my actions and did the same thing, my sketches in his hands. I hummed quietly as my eyes ran over the drawings Soonyoung made, reading the descriptions on the backs of them. He had good ideas and I liked them more than the ones I chose. However, his location choices didn’t fit well with the theme the bride and groom wanted. I was so lost in thought that I almost missed Soonyoung gazing intently at me, almost.

“What?” I snapped before I could control myself, eyes falling on him. He was chewing the inside of his mouth and just shrugged before he looked back down at the sketches.

“Nothing…” He muttered but looked back at me, sending the butterflies in a frenzy in my stomach, “Just missed you, I guess. And you look amazing today”

I gulped and ignored the way my body reacted to his words, the want to walk up to him and embrace him powerful, “Thanks. You look the same as always”

Soonyoung chuckled and sent me a smirk, one I decided to ignore, before he placed one sketch back on the table.

“I like this design, it looks good” He said, pointing at the paper and I nodded as I placed all of his sketches on the table.

“The locations you chose aren’t very fitting, Soonyoung, it doesn’t go well with the theme” I decided to be direct with him, the faster we get over this the better. I really want to text Joshua right now. And as if he’s a mind reader, my phone pinged, signaling I just got a message from him. Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me confused.

“Why are they not good? They want something water themed so I looked over all the locations they could afford and those are the only decent ones” He said, voice a bit aggressive, as he looked at me. It wasn’t like this was the first time we disagreed on something for work, but he never got hot headed about it.

“I get it, but they are either too small for all the people they invited to fit inside or not next to an actual water” I explained as my phone pinged again, and I bit my lip to hide my smile. Joshua must be having his lunch break right now. Which just reminds me of how hungry I am right now.

“You can’t have everything” Soonyoung shrugged nonchalantly, eyes falling on my phone when it made another sound, “They either give up on a few people or raise their budget where I can find them an actual place that has it all”

I threw him a glare before looking back down at the sketches, choosing one that could work out, “Yeah, well, it’s a bit too late to tell them we can’t find a suitable place. We have to make it work”

“Well, who’s fault is it, huh?” My eyes snapped back up, focusing on Soonyoung, who was glaring at me. I scoffed and shook my head before pushing the sketches towards him.

“I’m sorry I have a life that doesn’t revolve around you and work only! I had other things to take care of, besides, it’s not like you can’t do this without me!” My voice raised a few octaves and Soonyoung’s eyes narrowed at me as he leaned forward, challenging me with his gaze.

“We are partners for a reason, Y/N, I can’t choose a place without you matching the décor to it” He snapped back, voice leveled, but the way he was clenching his jaw gave away his anger.

“Stop making excuses and find a place! Or do I have to do that as well?!” I stood up from my chair, realizing this meeting really wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go. Now I was just screaming at him and letting my frustrations out because he has a girlfriend and I’m in love with him. It’s not really his fault he couldn’t find a bigger and better place, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to scream at him, to make him feel like I felt the day he told me he was seeing someone. I knew it wasn’t a reasonable reason nor a nice thing to do, but I had to let it out.

“What the fuck!” Soonyoung was on his feet in an instant, eyes glaring at me as he slammed one hand down, “Don’t make this sound like I always fuck up or something! If you didn’t ignore me for two fucking weeks this wouldn’t be an issue right now—”

“I wasn’t ignoring you—”

“Oh, fuck off!” Soonyoung rolled his eyes as silence enveloped us. I fisted my palms and willed myself to take deep breaths and think logically before I said something that could ruin the last thin thread our friendship was hanging on. But then my phone pinged again, twice this time, and Soonyoung’s eyes snapped towards it.

“Can’t you turn the fucking phone off?” I glared at him and took the phone off the table and threw it in my purse, which was by the foot of my table.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” I argued and Soonyoung rolled his eyes before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Why are you ignoring me?” The way he was looking at me left no room for denial. I knew he knew what I was doing, and he also knew he was right. He caught me red handed and I didn’t have a good enough excuse this time. So, I didn’t think much before I answered him.

“Because I can.” Soonyoung laughed humorlessly before he stalked towards me, making me glare at him.

“You can’t just ignore me. We are friends. You stopped talking to me ever since I told you I have a girlfriend as if it’s the end of the fucking world—” He stopped talking abruptly, standing just a foot away from me. We looked into each other’s eyes and Soonyoung gulped. It was clear that he finally realized what was the reason and I didn’t care anymore. If this was the way he found out I had feelings for him, so be it. Now, I’m working on getting over him so I don’t care anymore. I have Joshua, someone who makes me feel like no one has done it before. And I want to make it work.

“Yeah, well, it was the end of the fucking world for me, Soonyoung. But don’t worry, it’s not like you should have at least warned the person you were fucking regularly that you might be seeing someone” I huffed and smiled at him bitterly, watching as his face became expressionless. Of course, classic Soonyoung, act like nothing is happening in the middle of something serious.

“I didn’t have time to—”

“I don’t give a fuck about your excuses!” I snapped and pointed a finger at him, “Get out of my office and find a fucking place by tonight for the reception. If you don’t, I’ll work with Chan on this reception and cut you from it. It’s not like we are actual partners, I can work with whomever I want.”

Soonyoung’s jaw clenched more and he raised a hand, about to grab me, but quickly put it down by his side and went to gather his sketches.

“Two weeks of no dick turned you into a real fucking bitch” His sneer was malicious, he wanted to hurt me, to remind me I could no longer have him. And I was surprised when I started laughing, finding his words amusing. He was wrong, not getting dicked down for two weeks felt like a fresh breath of air. I didn’t realize how stressed it made me feel when he’d come over daily. Most of the time I wasn’t even in the mood but decided to go along with him because I knew afterward, I could be close to him, at least until one of us left.

“What makes you think you are the only one who could give me dick, Soonyoung?” I laughed and watched as his expression morphed into furry, his eyes traveling to my bag. Oh, this is amazing. He might think that’s my booty call and that just makes this situation even more hilarious.

“Yeah, so…maybe you should start working, unless you want Chan to be the one getting paid” I smiled sweetly at my friend and he threw me a glare that could kill before turning around and storming out of my office, slamming the door after him. But I wasn’t feeling better than he was looking, so I fished out my phone and distracted myself by answering Joshua.

       The chill music played lowly in the background as my finger hovered over the ‘send’ button. Soonyoung never contacted me with the new sketch, so I assumed he wouldn’t do it. I mean, it’s almost 12:00 pm, if he didn’t do it by now, he won’t do it. Chan is someone who I know I can trust, we’ve worked together before when Soonyoung was away, and he works fast and neat. But I didn’t know what to do, Joshua said I should wait until tomorrow and work it out at the office. I didn’t tell him the co-worker I fought with is my friend, Soonyoung, because I’m not ready to tell Joshua yet about the relationship I had with him and how I feel about Soonyoung. We haven’t even gone on our second date, which is in two days, I don’t want to ruin it. But even with Joshua’s reassuring words that I’ll work things out tomorrow, I couldn’t help but feel anxious. I have never neglected my work before and Mrs. Choi relied on me a lot, I was nervous I’d fail for the first time and I wasn’t ready to face the consequences for my childish acts. If the jiggling of keys wouldn’t have distracted me, I would have sent the message to Chan. But my eyebrows furrowed when a key was pushed into the lock of my door from the outside, after the person missed for the fourth time, and I stood up alerted from the counter. What is he doing here at this hour? I rushed to my front door, ready to lock it again before the person could enter, but I was a few seconds late because by the time I got there, it was already being pushed open.

“Y/N!” A raspy voice slurred and my eyebrows furrowed when my eyes fell on Soonyoung and saw the state he was in. His jacket was barely on him, white shirt even more undone than the last time I saw him today, his whole chest on display.

“What the hell are you doing!” I exclaimed when Soonyoung literally fell through my door, I quickly caught him before he could hit the floor.

“Y/N!” He slurred again and I was being pulled into Soonyoung, his face buried in my neck, arms sneaking around my waist. The air left my lungs at the sudden contact, heart beating at a mile. I was frozen as I gulped down the sudden feelings ignited inside my body and pushed closed the front door, locking it.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered, more to myself, as I bit my lips and gave in. My arms went around Soonyoung’s torso and I sighed as I closed my eyes. I missed him so much, his warmth and his scent. His body felt like heaven right now, to be hugging him, it was like something broke inside my stomach as I allowed myself to melt into Soonyoung for a few seconds longer. I knew this was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I missed him so much.

“Y/N…” Soonyoung sighed into my neck, the hairs rising on arms, as he tried to stand up straight by me supporting his weight.

“You’re so drunk, Soonyoung…” I sighed as I ran a hand through his black hair, pushing it out of his eyes. The alcohol was so strong that it almost filled my nose as I put a little distance between our bodies, “Take your shoes off”

Soonyoung nodded wordlessly and while holding onto me, he pushed his shoes off clumsily, giggling when he lost his balance for a second, making me gasp as I had to catch him once again.

“Stop being silly, Soonyoung.” I scolded him as I rested one of his arms around my shoulders and walked him further inside my apartment, towards the sofa in the living room.

“I’m so shitfaced, Y/N!” He giggled again as he spoke, his words slurring even more and I shook my head with a sigh.

“You don’t say…” I helped him sit on the sofa, and he just fell on it, giggling again when he bounced a bit on the mattress.

“Stay here, I’ll bring you water” I pointed a finger at him, his small eyes narrowed as he looked up at me through hooded eyes, a lazy grin on his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him and Soonyoung shrugged before nodding once, signaling he understood. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass to fill it with water. What am I doing? Should I even nurse him? Why did he even come over? He should have gone home or to his girlfriend, why is he here, with me? I wanted to send him home after making him drink water, but I just couldn’t. He’s so drunk he can barely stand; I’m amazed he even got here.

After he drank his water, we stayed quiet. I placed the glass in the sink and went back to the living room, sitting on the little coffee table, to face him. Soonyoung’s lips were jutted out as he continued looking at his fingers, playing with them. Suddenly, a buzzing sound caught our attention and Soonyoung lazily reached inside his pocket and pulled out his phone. His eyebrows furrowed as he brought the phone closer to his face, mouthing the name of the caller. He looked more and more confused as seconds went by so I took the phone out of his hands. It said ‘babe’. My eyes went back to him as I held the ringing phone in my hands, not bothering to pick up.

“I should answer that…” Soonyoung trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as he reached forward, totally missing the direction I was sat in, “She’ll kill me tomorrow if I don’t…”

“I’ll let her know, okay? You don’t have to answer the phone right now.” I pushed him by his exposed chest to sit him down, he rose to take the phone from me, but his hand gripped mine against his chest, “I’ll—I’ll tell her, don’t worry.”

I gulped as Soonyoung ignored everything I was saying, his half-opened eyes focused on my hand against his exposed chest. His warm hand was pressing it against his heart and I didn’t have the power in me to pull away, not yet. So, I just gulped and unlocked Soonyoung’s phone before dialing a number. It rung five times before it was answered.

“You have three seconds before I hang up on you—”

“Jihoon!”

“Oh—oh, Y/N—” The man on the other end sounded surprised, “Hi!”

“Hey!” I greeted back, my fingers twitching as Soonyoung started playing with them.

“Is everything okay?” I could hear worry seep into Jihoon’s voice, “Why are you calling form Soonyoung’s phone?”

“He’s—very drunk…” I cleared my throat when Soonyoung intertwined his fingers with mine, “I would send him home but he can barely stand on his feet. And I know I just woke you up, which I’m sorry for by the way, so I’m not going to ask you to come and get him. I, however, want to ask you to do me a favor…”

“I mean, if I’m already awake…” Jihoon sighed and I smiled, eye connecting with Soonyoung’s as he looked up from our hands.

“Call his girlfriend and tell her he’s really drunk and had a blackout, please? She keeps calling him” There was silence on the other end before Jihoon groaned, I knew he just rolled his eyes.

“The fucking things I do for that idiot, I swear, and even you!” Jihoon was starting to get angry, and he had a good reason for it, “I get your situation, I really do! But if he’s going to act like that, I won’t cover for him every time—”

“Hey! It’s not like that!” I quickly cut Jihoon off, knowing where his thoughts were taking him, “He’s very drunk, I’m not lying!”

“Jihoon, I love you!” Soonyoung exclaimed loudly, as if to confirm my words, and I squeezed his hand, sending him a glare. My neighbors have kids who are sleeping at this hour!

“Fine, whatever, make sure he doesn’t drown or something—actually, no, let him die.” I chuckled as Jihoon grumbled a goodbye before hanging up on me.

“He loves me, deep down, I know it” Soonyoung sing-singed and gave a harsh tug to my arm, surprising me, as I fell over him. I went rigid as Soonyoung’s hands started roaming my back, tugging me closer into him, until I was straddling his hips, no space between our bodies. I clutched Soonyoung’s phone in my hand tightly, afraid to even breathe.

“I missed you,” He sighed into my neck, head falling on my shoulder, “So, so, so much, Y/N”

I gulped and bit my lip, unable to move yet as I tried to fight my own thoughts. I wanted to melt into him and just cradle him until the sun comes up and he sobers up, but the rational me, the logical me was screaming at me that this is very wrong, we both have someone we care about, Soonyoung more than I. And I won’t start contradicting myself, I refuse to sabotage myself, not this time. So, I gulped down the burning want to just stay like this with Soonyoung, and went to push myself off him. But even when he’s drunk, he has an impeccable force, especially when he’s clinging onto someone.

“You have to let go, Soo.” I spoke softly, knowing he doesn’t react well when he’s drunk and someone is demanding of him. He groaned and gripped onto me even tighter, making me gasp when he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to my neck.

“Soonyoung, please.” I whispered, heart aching. I missed this so much, to be close to him. My time with Joshua was always amazing, he makes me forget about all the suffering I have to go through when I’m alone, and it’s amazing. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, not even with Soonyoung, and I think my feelings for Joshua are slowly becoming more and more powerful. I don’t want to lose what I have with him, not when I know Soonyoung will never appreciate me or give me what I need. I braced myself this time and wiggled out of his grasp enough so that I could push his chest back against the sofa. His eyebrows furrowed and he gripped onto my waist as he tried to glare at me.

“You are not going away again.” He muttered, an angry expression crossing his face, and I shook my head. I tried to pry his hands off my waist but he suddenly sat up, our faces very close. So close, his lips were brushing against mine.

“Soonyoung, I can’t—”

“I love you.” The breath was knocked out of my lungs and I paused, eyes wide and heart racing. I searched Soonyoung’s gaze, one he returned feverishly, and I was taken aback by the passion he was showing. He never really shows his genuine feelings, it takes him long time and a lot of coercing for him to open up, even to me. He usually would do it after sex when we’d be laying in bed.

“I—”

“I love you, I really do, Y/N!” His lips started quivering and my own eyes filled with tears as I shook my head. I couldn’t believe he was saying those words to me. Not now, not when I already decided I was over him. Not when I realized I deserved better than him. He can’t offer me what I need, he never would, we just don’t match well. I don’t want to suffer while I’m with him, I’d rather do it alone, I’m already used to that. But I couldn’t help it, he finally said the thing I’ve been wishing to hear for the past year, he loves me.

“I love you too, Soonyoung.” I found myself whispering back and a tear escaped my eye without me realizing. Soonyoung wiped it away, eyes still hazy and mind intoxicated as he leaned his forehead against mine, exhaling deeply. His breath reeked of alcohol but I didn’t care as I closed my eyes and wallowed in the moment. A weight was lifted off my chest, I felt lighter. I wanted to laugh at the feeling, but the dull pain was still there, it didn’t let me actually do it. It was there because it didn’t matter if we loved each other. It was over for us, and Soonyoung won’t even remember this in the morning. He’s too intoxicated.

       After confessing to our feelings, I convinced Soonyoung to go to bed. I lay next to him and traced his face with my fingers delicately, knowing he liked to be caressed, especially when drunk, and that put him to sleep faster. Once I was sure he was asleep, I pulled the covers over him, he changed into a t-shirt he left over a while ago, and left my bedroom. I slept on the couch in the living room, TV on and some horror movie playing, to which I finally fell asleep to. The sun was up high by the time I was up and my heart picked up when I thought I was late to work, but realized I still had two hours. Mrs. Choi had to take care of something so we got to go in later today. As I stretched my hands over my head, back popping, a familiar scent entered my nostrils. I sat up quickly, head spinning a bit as I looked towards the kitchen, a sight I wasn’t expecting greeting me.

“Good morning!” Soonyoung called out cheerily when he saw that I was up, a content smile on his lips. My eyebrows furrowed as I threw the cover off my body and stood up, pulling a bit on my shorts, hoping it would cover up more of my thighs.

“What are you doing?” I asked confused, walking over and sitting at the counter. Soonyoung wore clean clothes, he didn’t reek of alcohol anymore, his hair was still wet from the shower he took. The ends of his black hair were already curling up and I smiled a little as I looked at them for longer, I really like his curly hair. He stopped styling it like this a long time ago, always straightening it, it reminded me of our high school days. He looked softer and warmer back then and even now.

“And good morning.” I added as Soonyoung turned around with a grin and glass in his hand, “What’s that?”

“A little morning treat.” He answered casually as he placed the glass in front of me, the scent of cocoa filling my nose. I laughed as I leaned down and inhaled the scent of the hot cocoa.

“Seriously?” Soonyoung nodded grinning and placed the breakfast in front of me, toast with butter and strawberry jam and omelet. I took the fork he handed me and dug into the food, groaning at the taste, “At least you didn’t burn it this time.”

“I’ve become a good cook over the past two weeks…while you were busy ignoring me…” I threw him a glare and he just shrugged as he picked up a toast with butter and strawberry jam and took a bite. I took a longer glance at him, admiring his beauty. Something in his demeanor changed. He looked relaxed and content, happier than usual.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I mumbled as I finished my breakfast and took a sip of my hot cocoa.

“Slept well on the couch?” A teasing grin was on his lips as he raised one eyebrow, knowing damn well how small the couch is and how one person can barely sleep on it.

“No, asshole.” I threw him a glare as I sipped on the hot cocoa.

“You could’ve just slept with me, there’s plenty of space in your bed…” I paused drinking and glanced at him; his eyes curious as he looked at me.

“Yeah, no, thanks,” I rolled my eyes and finished the hot cocoa, “You burp a lot in your sleep when you’re drunk, it’s disgusting.”

Soonyoung started laughing loudly and he gathered my glass and the plate and fork I used and placed it into my sink, putting away the food that we didn’t eat. I placed an arm on the counter and placed my chin in my palm as I watched him move around my kitchen while humming something to himself.

“Was sleeping on my bed so therapeutic or you’re just really that happy because I’m talking to you again?” I raised my eyebrows as Soonyoung shrugged teasingly, walking up to me but keeping a respectable distance. It made me happy to see him so content and happy, but I couldn’t fully brush away the lingering feelings he caused. The want and ache, they were still there. But I felt better about them, like telling him how I felt, lifted a curse. I was finally free, at least it felt like it. A new room was created for Joshua only in my heart and that made me happy.

“I just really missed you.” Soonyoung said seriously, placing an arm on the counter.

“I missed you too.” I confessed with a smile, which quickly fell when Soonyoung leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. My body instantly reacted to the familiar feeling, tilting my head up for him to have more access, but I caught myself just in time. I quickly pulled away and glared at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“What are you doing!” I demanded angrily, placing a hand on his chest to push him back.

“What do you mean?” His happy demeanor quickly changed; his eyebrows were furrowed too now.

“You have a girlfriend, Soonyoung, if you want to cheat on her go find someone else to do it with!” I snapped and rose from the chair, pointing a finger at him angrily.

“But you love me.” I paused, finger hanging in the air as I bit my lower lip. So, what if he knows? I thought he really wouldn’t remember it, but I don’t care, he knows now and that’s it.

“So, what if I love you?” I scoffed and pushed the finger pointed at him against his chest, “You still have a girlfriend. If you would’ve told me earlier that you loved me, things could’ve turned out differently.”

“What do you mean?” He asked confused as I lowered my finger and ran a hand through my hair.

“I’m over you, or at least trying to be. It doesn’t matter if I love you or not, you are still just my best friend.” Soonyoung’s expression changed in an instant and I didn’t give him time to speak, “I like someone else, a lot. And I want things to work out between him and I, Soonyoung. He treats me right and he likes me as I am. I’m not going to throw away this new chance, like I did a few times before for you. For something you can’t offer me.”

“I can’t offer you what, Y/N?!” He snapped angrily, taking a hold of my jaw, “I know you better than anyone else. I know everything about you, Y/N! What else do you need? I always gave you what you wanted and I was always there for you. You meet this new guy and you’re head over heels for him after a day—”

“Shut up, okay!” I snapped and gripped his wrist, “You don’t know Joshua and you wouldn’t understand! Ever since we reconciled everything has been about you, God damn it! It’s always you, you and you, never me! I’m done feeling like shit because of you! I deserve more and not just someone who uses me for my body!”

“I don’t use you for your body!” Soonyoung screamed back, letting go of my jaw to clench his palm into a tight fist, “I fucking love you! What more do you need?!”

“I never felt loved by you, Soonyoung. Saying it to me isn’t enough, you need to make me feel it!”

“All the times I fucked you gentle, cuddled with you and stayed up to talk about bullshit wasn’t good enough?” I huffed and rolled my eyes as I walked away from him.

“Yeah, it wasn’t enough. If that’s your definition of love, please, go do that with your girlfriend.” I shrugged and Soonyoung’s jaw clenched.

“I don’t—” The doorbell rang and we both turned towards it. I gulped and my eyebrows furrowed. I wasn’t expecting anyone, is it Jihoon? He wouldn’t come by, he’s at work at this hour. Maybe Yerim? She comes over sometimes, but never unannounced. Maybe—Joshua? No…it can’t be…I did give him my address because he’s picking me up tomorrow for our date but he wouldn’t come today as a surprise, right?

“Go get your things,” I snapped at Soonyoung quietly as I walked towards the front door, “I don’t care who it is, you’re leaving!”

“I’m not fucking going anywhere!” He snapped back and I turned around abruptly, face turning red from the anger.

“Don’t try me, Soonyoung.” I hissed and he rolled his eyes, my palm itched to slap him across the face, but I took a deep breath instead and unlocked the front door. I swung it open and my jaw fell. A huge bucket of red roses covered the face and mostly the upper body of the person standing behind it, but I knew who it was.

“Surprise!” His melodic voice echoed a bit in the hallway and my heart started beating fast. Oh no, what will he think when he sees Soonyoung over? He probably won’t know he slept over, right? What if he gets the wrong idea? I can’t lose Joshua right now.

“Jo—Joshua!” I gasped and took the bucket of roses from him, beaconing him inside, “These are—gorgeous!”

Joshua was grinning, his cheeks a light red, as he leaned down at pecked my lips. My heart started beating faster, knowing well he still hasn’t noticed Soonyoung standing behind me.

“I’m glad you like it, I didn’t want to come over unannounced but—” He scratched the back of his neck as he looked down shyly, “I couldn’t help it.”

“What if I wasn’t home?” I chuckled and hugged the roses to my chest.

“I would’ve delivered the roses to your office!” He grinned and I chuckled, cheeks flushing, “But your car was in the driveway, so—”

A throat was cleared behind me and my happy demeanor quickly faded. Shit. Soonyoung will ruin everything.

“Hello there,” Joshua greeted politely once Soonyoung walked up beside me, “You must be…Soonyoung, was it?”

I gulped when Soonyoung slug an arm around my shoulders, a stoic expression on his face as he looked down at the roses. Then suddenly, as if having such a quick change of demeanor was a normal thing, he smiled from ear to ear.

“You are Joshua!” He exclaimed and extended a hand to shake, “I’ve heard a lot about you!”

“Y/N told me a little bit about you too!” Joshua returned the smile and shook Soonyoung’s hand firmly, turning to smile at me. I returned a fake smile and went to the kitchen to get a vase.

“Y/N!” Soonyoung called out, making the hairs stand on my arms. I knew that tone, the teasing tone, when he was about to fuck up something, “I left the final sketch in your bedroom, you should make the order if we want the reception to happen.”

I turned around and gulped, waiting for Joshua to react badly, but he was just glancing around my apartment solemnly, “Yeah, uh—I��ll do that.”

I watched as a smirk crossed his lips and he turned his head and took in Joshua’s body before looking back at me, Joshua oblivious to us as he walked over to a photo frame placed on my bookshelf.

“So classy.” Soonyoung mouthed as I filled the vase with water, working quickly to make Soonyoung go away before he fucks up.

“Soonyoung, you told me your girlfriend asked you to do some grocery shopping on the way home,” I said with a smile as I placed the vase with the roses on the center of the counter and walked towards my friend, “You should go now or else you’ll be late to work, again.”

Soonyoung laughed and grabbed a small bag from the floor, his clothes from the other night inside, “Jihoon is cooking dinner tomorrow, we’ll be waiting for you to join us.”

Liar, Jihoon is working the night shift tomorrow. I sent him a glare but Joshua started walking towards up so I evened out my expression, Joshua coming to a stop next to me.

“Actually,” He spoke up, surprising me, as he placed an arm around my waist, “If you don’t mind, I’ll be stealing your bestie tomorrow night…”

The way Soonyoung’s jaw clenched left a weird satisfaction in me, knowing well ‘bestie’ ticked him off, especially after what went down yesterday and today. Joshua was smiling politely at Soonyoung, but there was a glint in his eyes I didn’t quite understand yet.

“We have a date.” Joshua finally finished his sentence and Soonyoung nodded aggressively.

“Yeah, sure, dude! No problem!” He shrugged and offered me a fake smile, “Have fun tomorrow, but not too much!”

And with a wink he was out of my door, leaving me with Joshua alone. I sighed quietly and leaned into his side, forgetting for a second he didn’t know about anything that went down.

“You good?” He whispered and I turned my head to look up at him with a tired smile.

“I just didn’t get much sleep.” I said with a shrug and he smiled, ruffling my hair a bit.

“I’ll drive you to work today, get ready.” He pulled away from the little embrace and stepped back, “Had breakfast already?”

“Yeah…Soonyoung brought some food…” I lied and Joshua nodded before pointing towards my bathroom.

“You smell like alcohol.” He said with an apologetic smile and I blushed, pulling my hair in a ponytail.

“Sorry, I had too much wine last night…” I lied, again, feeling guiltier and guiltier.

“Don’t worry,” Joshua smiled, winking at me, “We are taking your car to work.”

“Again?” I laughed and Joshua nodded with a sneaky smirk, “I’m starting to think you don’t have a car, Joshua…”

“Uh, about that…” His lips formed a thin line, making me laugh, “It’s in the car service, but it’ll be ready by tomorrow!”

“You’re serious?” I walked towards my bathroom.

“Dead serious!” Joshua called out, making me laugh again as I closed the door. At least he knows how to go around getting free rides.

        Before Joshua dropped me off at work, we went to the coffee shop we had our date at and I bought a cup of coffee for everyone from work, even for Soonyoung. I do this from time to time, I haven’t done it in two weeks so I considered the timing was good. And everyone came in late today, a little coffee wouldn’t hurt anyone right now. Joshua helped me carry up the trays of cups of coffee and with a kiss he was gone, leaving me smiling and blushing in front of the entrance. Taking a deep breath to gather myself a bit, I pushed the door open and greeted everyone with a wide smile.

“I bought coffee for everyone!” I called out loudly and my colleagues called out in appreciation, forming a line to get their coffee.

“Thank you!” Yerim exclaimed loudly as she helped me hold the two trays, “I really fucking needed it.”

“As if we didn’t come to work later than usual.” I threw her an amused smile as Wendy, another co-worker, took her coffee with a wide smile and a ‘thank you’.

“Exactly!” Yerim’s eye widened, a very ‘duh’ expression covering her face, “You think I went to bed early? No, fucking, way! I was out partying last night!”

“Explains why you look like a zombie…” I muttered quietly, thinking Yerim wouldn’t hear me as Baekhyun’s, a very annoying but sweet co-worker, laughter flooded our ears. But Yerim heard me and she threw me a glare.

“I’m always fabulous, even when I look like a zombie.”

“True.” Baekhyun said with a shrug before strolling back to his desk, making Yerim throw her long blonde hair back. I chuckled and shook my head, grabbing the next cup and handing it to Chan before he could reach for it.

“Thank you!” He beamed at me, eyes lighting up, “I didn’t get my doze of caffeine yet today.”

“Slept in?” I asked with a smile and Chan nodded his head with a chuckle.

“Cute.” Yerim muttered while biting her lip, making Chan and I look at her, “What?”

“Uh—nothing!” Chan exclaimed embarrassed, about to walk away, but I held onto his arm.

“Hey, uhm…can I ask you something?” I asked quietly, smiling apologetically at Chan as he nodded, “You know about the reception happening in two weeks…if I send you the details, can you find me a place?”

“Aren’t you working with Soonyoung though?” Chan’s eyebrows furrowed as Yerim gave me a look, handing Hana a cup of coffee.

“I mean…something came up and he’s busy with other things…uh—so, can you help me out?” I offered him a small smile, in hopes he would say yes, and Chan seemed to be thinking for a moment.

“I mean, I can help you, of course! But I have a lot of work to do and I might be able to do by the end of the week only…and I know you need it, like, today…” I sighed as Chan grimaced, avoiding my eyes. It’s not his fault though, I understand him.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I should have asked you sooner!” I tried to cheer him up and reassure him, and he nodded with his lips in a tight line.

“So…can you wait until the end of the week—”

“Last time I checked; I was the one working with you.” Soonyoung’s raspy voice interrupted Chan, coming from behind me. I tensed up as Yerim and Chan were now looking at us questioningly. I took mentally a deep breath and then turned around, three more cups of coffee remaining on my tray.

“Maybe your girlfriend forgot to brew you some coffee this morning, Soonyoung.” I joked with a sarcastic tone and Soonyoung just chuckled, eyes narrowing as he grabbed a cup of coffee from the tray.

“Yeah, she was busy doing other things.” He smirked before taking a large gulp of the coffee, keeping eye contact with me. In my peripheral vision, I saw Yerim’s eyebrows raising as she looked between us. Chan cleared his throat and I glanced back at him.

“So, then…I guess you’ll be working with Soonyoung again…”

“Actually, no—”

“Yes, Chan.” Soonyoung cut me off, a charming smile on his lips, “I got a tight schedule and I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, but it’s all solved now.”

“Oh, great!” Chan exclaimed with a big smile, “I’m really busy this week…”

“Sorry for the confusion, Chan.” I apologized, throwing Soonyoung a subtle glare, knowing well Yerim was watching us like hawks.

“Don’t worry,” He offered us one more smile, “I’ll be off to work then.”

Yerim smiled flirty at Chan before he could walk away, flustering the younger boy once again. She turned to look at me with an amused giggle and I shook my head, ignoring Soonyoung’s eyes boring into the side of my head.

“He’s so cute,” Yerim mused quietly, eyebrows raising, “Who was that handsome guy you came with today, Y/N?”

I looked at Yerim with a warning look, not wanting to discuss anything about Joshua with Soonyoung there, today’s morning being enough for me. But Yerim ignored my warning and silent plea, like she usually does, and raised her eyebrows even higher.

“Oh, Joshua drove you here?!” Soonyoung exclaimed next to me, face lighting up suddenly. I turned to look at him, eyebrows furrowed, but he ignored me as he looked at Yerim, “He’s a real gentleman, so classy…”

“Yeah, exactly.” I snapped, glaring at him again, “He’s kind and gentle, unlike you—someone.”

Yerim’s eyes narrowed at us as she took a sip of her coffee, looking at us with suspicion, “Okay, besties, I’ve got some work to do as well…”

“We are not besties—” Soonyoung growled as Yerim walked away, not caring to listen if we had anything else to say. I scoffed and chuckled quietly, enjoying how triggered Soonyoung looked. He always hated us being called besties, but ever since the whole friends with benefits thing happened, he really detested it. He even threatened Jihoon once when he dared to call us that.

“Why did you ask Chan to do my work, Y/N?” Soonyoung’s glare was directed at me, voice low as we were still in the front lobby, everyone could hear and see us.

“Because if I remember correctly, I gave you a deadline that you didn’t respect!” I snapped back, stepping closer to make sure the others couldn’t see our faces that well. We didn’t need them to know about how much our friendship was going to shit. I think it became obvious that there was something wrong the second I stopped interacting with Soonyoung so much, or when he slammed the door to my office so hard, I thought he’d break the whole wall.

“You are not the boss here, and I told you that wasn’t enough time for me to find something!” Soonyoung spoke quickly, nostrils flaring as his jaw clenched. His grip on the cup of coffee was tightening and he was probably close to snapping it in half, so I gripped his wrist, hating the butterflies that erupted in my stomach and how the back of my neck felt hot.

“Maybe if last night you didn’t get shitfaced and actually did some work, I wouldn’t have asked for Chan’s help.” I snapped, but my eyes softened, trying to calm him down. He was a calm man, but when you ticked him off, he left only destruction in his wake. And we didn’t need that happening at the office, especially in the front lobby.

“I will do it by tonight.” Soonyoung’s voice softened and suddenly the wrist I was holding twisted, gripping my palm into his. I gulped and looked down at our hands, shaking my head.

“Please, do it.” I muttered, hating the way my eyes fell on his lips when he licked them. Soonyoung saw it too and a grunt left his lips before he was stepping back, running a hand through his, now straight, black hair.

“You always make such a scene out of everything.” He said with a shake of his head, taking another sip of his coffee.

“I do not!” I scoffed and rolled my eyes, placing down the tray on the little table by the entrance, “And you are a dickhead, Soonyoung.”

“I know…” His voice was small and I looked back at him, a dark look crossing over his features. I sighed and turned around, mouth open to tell him to get to work, when a lady spoke up.

“You two should be working.” Mrs. Choi’s eyebrows were raised, lips in a playful pout, and Soonyoung smiled.

“Mrs. Choi! Fancy seeing you this beautiful morning, not more beautiful than you, of course.” Soonyoung made a spectacle as he took Mrs. Choi’s hand and placed a soft kiss on it, waltzing away with a wink directed at me. I sighed and handed Mrs. Choi the last cup of coffee.

“Good morning, I bought some coffee for everyone today.” I said quietly, avoiding eye contact with the older lady.

“Thank you, my dear,” She smiled as she took the cup, gripping it with both hands, “Is everything alright? I haven’t seen your plans about the upcoming reception and Soonyoung said you kept postponing the meeting for the past two weeks.”

I gulped and bit my lower lip, feeling embarrassed and guilty, “I did, yes, and I apologize for stalling. It’s just…I went through something and…I will solve this issue, I promise! I trust that Soonyoung will find the right location by tonight and then I can put everything into action.”

“I’m not worried about you making this work, you’ve worked in worse conditions before, my dear. I just don’t like seeing you sad and always grumpy, especially if it’s caused by a man.” I looked up at Mrs. Choi surprised, finding her smiling at me gently.

“Uh, right—I, uh, have a question!” I tried to divert the subject, knowing well the old lady had eyes and ears everywhere. I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew about everyone’s private life from the office, “This Saturday…can I bring a plus one? To the barbeque?”

“Of course!” Mrs. Choi exclaimed with a laugh, “The more, the merrier! We can split the bill even better!”

“I thought you were paying…” I muttered with a cheeky smile and Mrs. Choi laughed, shaking her head.

“Don’t disappoint me this time with your choice in men,” She said with a wink, sipping from her coffee, “Soonyoung wasn’t made for you, my dear.”

My jaw fell open as I gaped at Mrs. Choi, trying to come up quickly with something to deny her affirmation but by the time I thought of something, she walked away, leaving me alone and gaping. I cleared my throat and closed my mouth when Baekhyun looked up from his desk, eyebrows raised and mouth in an amused grin, looking at me questioningly. I shooed him off with a flick of my wrist and quickly fished my phone out of my purse as I took of towards my office. I dialed Joshua’s number and prayed he was available, on the fifth rang he picked up.

“Missed me already?” Came his teasing through the phone. I scoffed as I took a sip of my coffee quickly.

“You wish, do you have time to talk?” I asked, opening the door of my office.

“If you make it quick, yes.”

“You know, how I’m busy this Saturday…” Joshua hummed and I continued talking with a smile on my face, “Are you busy this Saturday?”

“Uhm…not really, no.” Came his confused answer, no doubt he was frowning now.

“Well, then I just made you busy!” I exclaimed, laughing alone as Joshua remained silent and even more confused on the other end.

“Uhm, care to explain, hon?” My cheeks became hot at the use of his nickname for me and I giggled quietly.

“I’m going to a barbeque with my colleagues, and you are invited too now!”

“Really?!” Joshua asked excitedly and I laughed.

“Really!”

“Okay, cool! We’ll talk later then, but if you need confirmation, I am coming!”

“Of course, you are! But it doesn’t count as our third date!” I spoke quickly, knowing he had to hang up.

“Of course not, hon, talk to you later!”

“See you, Shua!” I hang up with a big smile, taking a seat in my chair, melting away into it. Ah, the things Joshua makes me feel!

        Saturday rolled around quickly, our little cycling date on Wednesday went even better than we were expecting it. This time it was Joshua who drove us around, his car finally out of the service, and I even attempted to pull the same joke he usually did, and drive him home in his own car but, of course, he didn’t let me. He wanted to make sure I got home safely as night has fallen by the time, we finished eating at a local noodle restaurant. On Saturday, we agreed that I would come by his place first and then we’d drive together to the barbeque restaurant, as he lived closer to the place and we wanted to save some fuel. I chose to wear a black turtleneck and a denim dress over it, with black tights and knee-high boots, a thick denim jacket shielding me from the evening breeze. My black purse matched my turtleneck and I painted my lips red, applied some mascara and a little bit of blush to my cheeks. I brushed my hair and let the waves fall freely over my shoulders, clipping the front strands behind my ears. It was the first time Joshua would see me truly dressed up, not that I put much effort into my looks. Last date we went cycling, so I couldn’t wear anything fancy, and on our first date we both wore working attire. And well…the night we met, I was almost wearing my pajamas, so it doesn’t count. I was curious of Joshua’s everyday style, wondering if he dressed as fancy as he acted. He was a gentleman after all. I gave him a text when I reached his apartment complex and he was downstairs in three minutes. A big smile on his lips, eyes running over my body, as he jogged up to me. I giggled when he reached me and I threw my arms around, snuggling my chin into his shoulder, making sure I didn’t smudge my lipstick nor dirty his cream-colored coat. He wore dark grey dress pants that reached his ankles and I could make out a soft green turtleneck peeking out from underneath his coat. His light brown hair wasn’t as messy as usual and it had a nice middle part.

“Wow, Joshua!” I mused as I made him twirl around, “You look so fancy!”

“And you look breathtaking.” He said, his voice a bit deeper than usual, taking me by surprise. My cheeks heated up and I pouted as he leaned in.

“My lipstick—!” But Joshua didn’t care as he pressed his lips against mine softly, barely even touching them together.

“You can redo it later, let me give you a kiss!” He murmured against my lips and I grinned, pulling back.

“Maybe when we come back from the barbeque.” Joshua’s eyebrows furrowed and I giggled as I took the car key from his hand.

“Maybe?” He asked wondering, shaking his head a bit, “I don’t think that will work.”

“No?” I raised my eyebrows as I took off towards the parking lot.

“No,” He shook his head firmly, walking after me, “I will need my kiss, right now, and later too.”

I laughed and got into the driver’s seat before he could, claiming it as Joshua shook his head outside the car.

“I was supposed to drive tonight.”

“On the way back!” I grinned and he sighed before getting in, putting on his seatbelt.

“So…where is my kiss?” He asked, lips jutted out, as he turned towards me. I scoffed and leaned over the middle to give him a firm peck. He hummed contently, closing his eyes as I turned back around, turning the engine on.

The ride to the barbeque place was quick and filled with Joshua telling one of his stories about pranking Jeonghan, once again. These two were little devils and wrecked-havoc everywhere they went. On our cycling date Jeonghan actually turned up and tagged along for half an hour, even though Joshua made it clear that he should just leave us alone, but with a sneaky wink towards me, Jeonghan rode his bike along with ours. The man was nice and pleasant to hang out with, so I didn’t mind him tagging along. At least I got insight on Joshua through one of his friends. And I was pleased with the person he seemed to be. Truly, Joshua was a fresh breath of air to me. I don’t know what I did to find him, but I was sure that I’m not letting go of him.

“Are you sure about this?” Joshua spoke up as I parked the car, struggling a bit, his car being bigger than mine.

“Sure, about what?” I asked absentmindedly as I focused on not hitting the two cars I was parking in between.

“Me coming with you, I mean…we only went on two dates. You’ve known me for a week only, don’t you think…we are taking it too fast?” I paused, hitting the brake a bit harsher, sending us forward.

“Do you think we are taking it too fast?” I asked quietly, a bit afraid of his answer. Because I don’t think we are, the most we did was little pecks here and there. I felt alright presenting him to my co-workers and few friends, even if it’s been a week. I’ve never been so certain about someone before.

“I, personally, don’t think so. I just—want to make sure you don’t feel pressured or—”

“Joshua!” I turned toward him wide eyed, “If I didn’t want you to be here with me right now, you wouldn’t be, trust me. Two dates and a week of knowing each other, I—I don’t actually know, this feeling is really new to me. But I want it, I’m certain about it…about us?”

A smile spread on Joshua’s lips slowly and he placed a hand on mine, giving it a squeeze, “Okay, because I really fucking like you a lot.”

I started laughing, being the first time Joshua has sworn in front of me, and squeezed his hand back, “You should park the car now, I think we are making a line behind us…”

“Shit…” I muttered, quickly parking the car, making sure I didn’t hit the others, as Joshua just chuckled. Once we got out Joshua intertwined his fingers with mine and my cheeks turned a little red as I giggled, like a crazy girl, squeezing his hand playfully. He chuckled and glanced at me while leading the way inside. My heart was thumping in my chest as we neared the long table full of my co-workers, and few friends, unsure of their reactions. Only Mrs. Choi knew of my arrival with Joshua, and I truly feared how Soonyoung would react. For sure he would find some way to ruin it, I know him too well.

The chatter from their table was loud but when we arrived next to Mrs. Choi, everyone fell silent. I cleared my throat as Joshua gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hi, everyone!” I greeted, voice a bit higher than usual, “Uh, this is—my boyfriend, Joshua.”

Cheers and greetings broke out from the table, Baekhyun already tipsy as he rose from his seat with a shot in his hand and cheered the loudest, meanwhile I felt two eyes boring into my face. One was coming from the man holding my hand and the other one from the man sitting at the head of the table, across from Mrs. Choi. I turned towards Joshua, a nervous smile on my lips, knowing well calling him my boyfriend took him off guard. I hope I didn’t screw up things, but as Joshua continued to remain silent my heart started hammering in fear. Did I say the wrong thing? But how was I supposed to introduce him? Especially when we arrived together and even holding hands. Before I could think about it even more, a huge grin appeared on Joshua’s face and he started quietly cooing as he pulled my head into his chest. I quickly sucked my lips in, making sure I didn’t dirty his cream-colored coat with my red lipstick, feeling embarrassed as Baekhyun whistled loudly.

“Come sit, love birds!” Yerim’s loud, shrill, voice called out for us. She was sitting close to Soonyoung, two seats empty on her right. The one who would sit at the end of the table would be basically next to Soonyoung. Before we could walk to Yerim, however, Mrs. Choi was on her feet, a warm smile on her lips.

“Good evening, welcome!” She greeted us and patted my cheek once Joshua freed me from his hold, “I see my dear Y/N decided to bring someone along. Who are you, young man?”

“Hong Joshua, Mrs. …”

“Choi Seunghee.” My boss introduced herself and Joshua bowed politely.

“Mrs. Choi, nice to meet you!”

“You too, Mr. Hong—” Mrs. Choi’s eyes landed on me and she winked, “Lovely choice, my dear.”

My cheeks flushed and I groaned quietly as Joshua chuckled and nodded once, before pulling me towards Yerim, who was waving us over aggressively.

“Thank, fucking, God!” She exclaimed once we were by her side, “My arm was about to fall off!”

“Well why were you continuously waving?” I asked laughing as Joshua helped me take my jacket off, “It’s not like we can sit anywhere else…”

“I’m just being a good friend, don’t lecture me about it.” Yerim said with a pout as I threw her a playful glare, holding my jacket so that Joshua could take his own coat off.

“Yeah, whatever,” Yerim rolled her eyes, eyeing Joshua as he went to take our jackets to the hanger, “Damn, classy but sexy as fuck.”

“Yerim!” I hissed, eyes widening as Joshua walked back, a warm smile on his face.

“I’m Kim Yerim!” She introduced herself, standing up and extending her hand. She was wearing a dark green dress, body fitting, for once reached bellowed her knees and had a turtleneck. I see everyone went for a turtleneck tonight.

“Hong Joshua, nice to meet you.” Joshua shook her hand delicately, smiling when Yerim grinned at me.

“A foreigner too!” She winked at me, eyes running over Joshua again, “Nice catch, bitch.”

My mouth fell open as Joshua started laughing loudly, covering it with his hand once he realized he was really loud. I threw him a glare before I pulled on Yerim’s straightened hair, earning a hiss from her.

“Watch your language, Kim Yerim!” I snapped, feeling embarrassed, as I took a quick seat beside her. I forgot about Soonyoung’s existence, but it didn’t last for long, when I heard Joshua greeting him.

“Good to see you made it.” He spoke monotonously, lips in a tight line. He wasn’t even trying to hide his displeasure and I threw him a warning glare.

“Good evening, Soonyoung.” I greeted him; expression neutral as he bowed before downing his shot in one go.

“Want to drink?” He raised his glass of Soju to Joshua.

“Not tonight, I’m the designated driver,” He said with an apologetic smile, “Next time.”

“Next time.” That made Soonyoung smirk as he sent me a wink, downing another shot. I sighed quietly, opening the can of soda in front of me, eyes accidentally catching Baekhyun’s.

“Eyo, I thought you ditched us!” He said loudly, smile lopsided.

“And miss seeing you drunk?” I laughed, taking a sip of the soda, “Never, Baekhyun, never.”

Baekhyun giggled and raised his glass of Soju in salute before taking a big gulp.

“So, Joshua!” Yerim exclaimed, making me go deaf for a few seconds, “What do you do? How do you earn money? How did you charm Y/N? What are your hobbies? Tell me everything!”

“Take it easy, Yerim,” I said with a snort, hand finding Joshua’s underneath the table, “I forgot to tell him how energetic and tiring you can be.”

“Ah, I know someone just like her…” Joshua mused, eyes glinting with mischief and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Jeonghan.” We chorused at the same time, making Yerim raise her eyebrows and Soonyoung frown at us.

“Hmm, his name doesn’t sound bad. Is he handsome?” Yerim asked, lips forming a pout.

“Yah, Kim Yerim!” Came Chan’s loud exclamation, he was sitting next to Wendy, two seats away from Baekhyun who was across from me, “You’re trying to find yourself a new man?!”

“Yes, do you have a problem with that?!” Yerim snapped back, eyebrows raising in a challenging way.

“Yes, I do!” Chan snapped back, lips jutting out as he stared back at Yerim.

“Then stop being a pussy and ask me out!” Yerim’s statement made the table go silent, and she blushed. Kim Yerim was actually blushing! I started laughing loudly and soon the others followed, well except for Yerim and Chan; and Soonyoung; who were staring at each other intently.

“Ah, to be young and in love…” Mrs. Choi mused from the head of the table, making Yerim glare at her.

“Who’s in love? I’m not!” She was quick to defend herself, throwing Chan a subtle glance. But Chan was focused on glaring at his bottle of Soju, ears red. I giggled to myself and Joshua squeezed my hand underneath the table, making me look at him. He grinned down at me and I blushed, scrunching my nose at him.

“Those two definitely are.” Wendy said with a sweet smile, nodded her towards us, making me blush further. I groaned as Joshua, once again, pulled my head against his chest, and rested his chin on top of my head.

“Yeah, we might be…” He sing-songed, making me pinch his hip just a bit, “Oh, come on, don’t be shy now.”

“Shut up.” I snapped and pulled away with a small glare, my eyes catching Soonyoung’s in the process. His jaw was clenched and he glared at me, downing another shot of his Soju. I couldn’t help but worry, watching as he did that three more times, finishing his first bottle of the night.

“Soonyoung…” I called out, Joshua was playing absentmindedly with my fingers as he conversed with Baekhyun, “Take it easy…”

Soonyoung’s head snapped up and he looked into my eyes, licking his lips, “What do you care?”

I rolled my eyes and glanced at Joshua to see if he was paying attention to us, but he wasn’t, so I lowered my voice knowing Soonyoung will hear me, “I do, okay? You are my best friend!”

“Yeah…” He chuckled bitterly as he opened up another bottle of Soju, “Best friend.”

“I mean it.” I snapped, eyes glaring at him as he just shrugged.

“Thanks for worrying about me, bestie,” He faked a grin and gulped half of the Soju down, “But I can handle myself.”

“I won’t be driving you home if you get shitfaced.” I warned him, becoming aware of Joshua glancing at me more often.

“Don’t worry, my girlfriend will make sure to pick me up this time.” I scoffed and gulped down the remark I had for him, instead looked up at Joshua to see him frowning at us. I have to tell him after tonight what’s been happening between Soonyoung and I. He deserves to know. Maybe he can help me out even with some advice, I don’t even know anymore.

“Are you okay, hon?” He asked quietly, eyebrows furrowed as he searched my face.

“Of course!” I offered him a small smile, then nudged Yerim, “Wanna hear the answers you were so eager for?”

“Fuck yeah!” Yerim slammed her Soju bottle down, spilling a bit on the table, as she leaned closer in, captivated once Joshua started talking. That’s how I felt every time I was with Joshua, utterly captivated. Like it was just us, no one and nothing else in the world. It was new and weird. It was something I enjoyed and craved, it felt amazing.

Somewhere halfway through, Yerim and I excused ourselves to the restroom, Yerim complaining about having to pee after she drank three bottles of Soju. The food was almost done by that time, everyone having eaten well and now we were just drinking the rest of the drinks and sharing stories. Mrs. Choi said she didn’t want to stay until very late, her son having to pick her up and he had classes tomorrow, so we decided to stay until midnight instead of late night, like usually we do. Yerim and I took quite a while, her having to make sure her whole makeup looked presentable, rambling about how she was going home with Chan tonight even if she had to force him. Something I’m sure she won’t have to do; Chan’s been eyeing her all night after she told him to ask her out. It was quite obvious Chan had a crush on Yerim, everyone knew, but no one expected Yerim to reciprocate the feelings. She was always after Soonyoung, barely batting an eyelash at Chan. And it’s not like the others know Soonyoung has a girlfriend, he hasn’t told anyone besides me and Jihoon. When we made it back to our table, Joshua had a neutral expression and Soonyoung was smirking as he leaned back in his chair, an accomplished look crossing his face. I gulped as I took my seat and tapped Joshua’s thigh, asking if he was feeling alright. Deep down, I knew Soonyoung told him something and that’s why his demeanor changed, but I hoped I was wrong and Joshua was just tired and Soonyoung just said one of his lame jokes to which Joshua had a good reaction. But when Soonyoung raised his fifth bottle of Soju, already drunk, and called loudly ‘cheers’ while never breaking eye contact with me, I knew he said something to Joshua. Something I didn’t want him to know, at least, not yet. Joshua, however, was quick to reassure me and say that he was tired and wanted to head home earlier if it wasn’t a problem for me. And it wasn’t, we quickly took on our coat and jacket, wished the others a good night and left the barbeque restaurant. My heart was hammering, cheeks a bit red from one bottle of Soju, and I was surprised when Joshua’s fingers intertwined with mine as we walked towards his car. No one said nothing, Joshua seemed deep in thought meanwhile I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know what happened that ruined his mood so quickly. He opened the door for me once we reached his car, and I thanked him quietly as I sat inside. Joshua was quickly inside the car as well, starting the engine to generate warmth. We put our seatbelts on and Joshua turned the radio down for quiet background noise as he started driving. I gulped and bit my lower lip, trying to find a way to ask him if Soonyoung said anything to him, without spoiling much.

“Are you okay?” I decided on asking, placing one hand gently on his thigh. He tensed up and I felt a pang in my heart as I quickly retracted my arm, clearing my throat. However, he quickly gripped my wrist and held it for a second.

“I’m not mad at you, please relax.” He spoke up calmly, thumb rubbing over the skin of my wrist. I let out a shaky breath, now knowing certainly that Soonyoung told him something he wasn’t supposed to.

“What—” I took a shaky breath, “What did Soonyoung tell you?”

Joshua was quiet for a second as he took a left turn, not rushing as he drove below the speed limit, “Enough to piss me off, honestly, but not enough to push me away from you.”

“I’m so sorry,” I sighed out, looking down at my lap, “You deserve to know, but we’ve barely been on our second date and I—I didn’t want to tell you anything yet, I just didn’t think it was the right timing, you know? What was I even supposed to tell you? That I—”

“The reason why it pissed me off, is because it wasn’t his call to make. You were supposed to tell me once you felt ready and not Soonyoung to spite me,” Joshua took a deep breath and threw me a quick glance, “I don’t give a shit that you two were friends with benefits, Y/N, calm down, okay?”

I took a shaky breath and bit my lower lip, “Joshua, I’m—in love with Soonyoung.”

The silence was deadly and my heart was hammering in my chest, but Joshua’s thumb never stopped caressing the skin of my wrist, not even after I said those words.

“But I like you, very, very much. And I want to be with you, not Soonyoung. It took me so long to realize he’s not good for me, that he could never offer me what I need. Soonyoung is—not a good person. He was a good friend, and still is sometimes, but when it comes to relationships, he—doesn’t know what those mean. I don’t want to be with him, yes, I still love him but God! I’m doing everything I can to get over him and…it’s working. It’s hard and it takes time, but it’s working, Joshua. I’m slowly, but surely, falling for you. Even if it’s too early to say that, I feel it. You are so amazing, I never even dared to dream of someone like you! You respect me and bring out the best in me, make me laugh until my stomach hurts and make me feel things I never even knew I could feel. You are special, Joshua.”

I wasn’t even sure Joshua was paying attention to my rant, but by the time I finished, we arrived in front of my apartment complex. My heart was beating fast and I was scared to look at Joshua as he stopped the car, head turning towards me. If I were him, I knew I’d be furious and feeling like I got fucked over. That’s what scares me, what if he leaves me right now? How do I get over that? Losing two men I care about is too harsh.

“I know falling out of love can be a hard process, but I sure as hell haven’t seen someone before trying so hard to do it,” He chuckled and my eyebrows became relaxed a bit, “I understand you and I respect you. Thank you for telling me, even if I had to find out this way, I think you would’ve still told me. I have to be honest; I’m not pleased to know you love other man, but who would be? But I see how you act around me, and I don’t know how you used to act around Soonyoung, but I know that you simply radiate when you are with me. And you make me feel warm and full, always tugging at my heartstrings without even doing anything. I choose to trust you, Y/N. Prove me right, please.”

The sudden relieved laugh that left my lips was loud in the car and it brought a smile on Joshua’s lips, I felt like I could breathe again. My heart slowly returned to its natural rhythm as Joshua and I stared into each other’s eyes.

“Thank you, for trusting me.” I whispered and closed my eyes when he pressed his forehead against mine.

“Thank you, for making room for me in your heart.” A wide smile spread on my lips and I pressed my lips against Joshua’s softly, his cherry-colored lips pushing back just as gently. There was nothing hungry behind the kiss, only genuine feelings being poured into it, as our lips moved slowly. I wanted this moment to last forever, I wanted to ask Joshua to come up with me, but it was too soon. We decided in taking things slowly, if I called him up right now, that would change a lot. And we are not there yet, I’m not ready for that yet.

“So…” Joshua’s lips pulled up into a mischievous smirk once we pulled back from the kiss, “I’m your boyfriend, huh?”

I chuckled and shrugged, “Guess you are.”

“Good.” He breathed out and I leaned in to press another soft kiss against his lips before I went upstairs.

“Good night!” He called out as he rolled his window down, sending me a flying kiss. I caught it and pretended to press it where my heart was, putting it away and keeping it in a safe place.

“Good night!” I called back and quickly rushed inside the building, racing up the stairs to my apartment. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing to be in the stairway late at night. Once inside my apartment, I closed and locked the front door, leaning over it. I was feeling ecstatic from that kiss and the word exchanges Joshua and I had, but then suddenly rage over took me. And I knew how I would spend my early morning tomorrow.

       It was early in the morning when I got up, the rage I felt towards Soonyoung didn’t let me rest much. Even as I cooked myself some breakfast, I found myself throwing everything around loudly and then feeling sorry for my neighbors, it was an early Sunday morning after all. After eating my breakfast, I took a shower in hopes that it would ease my tense muscles and angry thoughts, but it just fueled all the mean things I had to say to Soonyoung. After all, we all know in the shower come the mightiest ideas and arguments. After getting dressed, I took the car keys and off I was to Soonyoung and Jihoon’s apartment. Due to it being early, and a Saturday, traffic was almost none and I made it to their apartment in 10 minutes, a ride that on a normal day would take twenty minutes. I glanced at the clock and decided to go upstairs, knowing well hungover Soonyoung always got up at 6 am to nurse his headache, cook himself breakfast, and then go on a run to clear up his head. Besides, I wasn’t just here to put him in his place, I was here to hand him back their apartment key and ask for mine back. So, without second thoughts, once I reached their front door, I unlocked the door and barged inside. The apartment was quiet, Jihoon was still asleep as he had the nightshift last night, probably made it back home two or three hours ago so I was already feeling bad for waking him probably once Soonyoung and I start arguing. I heard some muffled noises coming from Soonyoung’s room, so I knew he was up. Taking a deep breath and rolling my shoulders a few times, I marched towards it and barged inside. The sight that greeted me wasn’t something I was expecting. Not now, not in a million years. Eyes wide, I turned back around and slammed the door closed, praying that it didn’t wake Jihoon. I heard a few groans and some mumbled words as I walked away from Soonyoung’s room, taking deep breaths. A girl, his girlfriend no doubt, with her mouth deep down Soonyoung’s dick. Both of their eyes went wide when I barged in, Soonyoung’s darkened a lot more once he realized it was me and not Jihoon. I didn’t see the girl’s reaction as I slammed the door closed, and now I was pacing up and down in the kitchen, reaching for a glass to pour some water into it. How am I going to do this? With his girlfriend over? I don’t want to drag her into this mess, I know she doesn’t know, and I don’t want her to find out either. I’m not like Soonyoung. If it was just Jihoon here, I wouldn’t have cared, he already knew everything. Just as I downed the glass of water, Soonyoung’s bedroom door was opened and the black-haired girl tiptoed out, long hair in a high ponytail now.

“Uh—Hi.” I greeted quietly and she gulped as she looked away embarrassed, “Uh—sorry, for barging in like that, I—”

“Yeah, uh—just forget about it?” The girl asked as she played around with the towel in her hands, “I’m Soonyoung’s girlfriend, Yuna, nice to meet you.”

“Y/N, nice to meet you too.” We nodded our heads at each other a little as the girl tried to smile at me but failed.

“Yeah, you’re Soonyoung’s friend—anyways, I’ll be taking a shower. See you later?” She headed for the bathroom door and I muttered quietly after her a ‘See you later’. As the bathroom door closed, out came Soonyoung from his room wearing his black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. His face was still swollen and his hair sticking out in every direction. He stood at the entrance of the kitchen, arms crossed over his chest as he watched me with a glare, a glare I returned fiercely.

“What?” He finally snapped like nothing happened yesterday, a glint of amusement filling his eyes.

“Don’t act like Saint Marry, Soonyoung!” I snapped, jaw clenching as the rage I’ve felt all night long flooded my body, “You have the fucking audacity to even ask ‘What?’ when you almost ruined my relationship with Joshua?!”

“Ah,” Soonyoung laughed quietly, “The one-week long relationship? Are you sure that’s a relationship? Maybe he just likes the way you suck his dick—”

“Don’t even talk about Joshua like that!” I snapped, making sure my voice remained low enough that it wouldn’t wake Jihoon, if he wasn’t awake already, nor would it reach Yuna’s ears.

“Oh, look at that! Defending him like you’re his little puppy—”

“Fuck you, Soonyoung! You’re a piece of shit!” I snapped, slamming the apartment keys down on the counter, “I want my fucking keys back, now.”

“No.”

“No? I don’t think so.” I snapped and glared at him as I went to walk past him, but Soonyoung grabbed me by my upper arm and pulled me back, hips pinning me between him and the counter.

“You can’t take the keys back.” He muttered lowly, his glare boring into my own.

“Those aren’t yours, to begin with, I am taking them back.” I went to push Soonyoung away but he grabbed my jaw tightly and forced my head to stay in place. I hissed at him and tried to swat at his hand, but he raised his eyebrows in warning.

“Just admit you’re here because you miss fucking me.” A shit eating grin spread over his lips and my palms turned into fists, ready to punch him any second now.

“I’m here, to tell you, that you are a scumbag, Soonyoung. I knew you played unfair your whole life, but telling Joshua we used to fuck? That was really low, Soonyoung. You proved that you’re a trash person deep down. You have a girlfriend but you go around being jealous? Trying to destroy your best friend’s relationship? When she’s finally happy?!”

“You just think you’re happy with Joshua, Y/N, but you aren’t really.” He growled, grip tightening on my jaw, making me hiss.

“Sure,” I scoffed, nodding my head, “Go ahead and tell me how I feel, right. Because you know! You! Not me!”

“You’ve only known him for a week, God damn it! You’ve known me for almost ten years! Can’t you see I’m right for you, Y/N? Who knows you like I do? No one else! I grew up with you, I was there to support you through everything! Through every heart break and every successful date! Y/N, I love you truly! Unlike Joshua who doesn’t even know you!” His voice started raising and he was breathing hard and I whined, gripping his wrist when his grip became unbearable on my jaw. If he was going to keep on squeezing, he would bruise it and I don’t want to go around lying to people.

“Well unlike Joshua, who doesn’t even know me! He’s the one who made me feel truly happy and heard and seen ever since we’ve reconciled, Soonyoung! I always felt so drained being with you. It was always about you! About making you satisfied, about making you happy, about supporting you no matter what, about bending myself to everything you wanted because I wasn’t important. Not as important as you, at least.” His grip softened but he didn’t let go, he was slowly shaking his head no, “You are afraid of letting go because I’m something safe, something you know. Something you can come back to. I know new things scare you, Soonyoung, but we are over. I don’t love you.”

“That’s a lie!” Soonyoung scoffed and rolled his eyes, giving me the moment to push his grip off my jaw, “You love me and I love you. Understand that already!”

“No, you don’t love me. Not like I did, anyways. My body is what you love, the way I made you feel and the way I would always bend to your likes. I broke myself down so that you could build yourself up, and you knew all along what you were doing, Soonyoung. And I knew, deep down I did, but I was blinded by my foolish love and selflessness. That’s not happening anymore, understand?”

But Soonyoung just kept shaking his head, “No, bullshit. I—love you!”

I bit my lower and realized pouring my heart out to him, about everything he made me feel made the dull ache disappear. It was like I felt nothing now when I looked at him.

“Stay away from Joshua and I, understand? Don’t make me take drastic measures, Soonyoung, because I will. You know I will!” I warned Soonyoung, wriggling out of his hold, “Whatever we ever had, takes an end, right now. After I leave this apartment, we are just co-workers. After we are done with this reception, we won’t work together unless Mrs. Choi or the project demands us to. We can’t be friends anymore, not after you broke my trust and respect like that. It was my job to tell Joshua we were friends with benefits, not yours!”

Soonyoung’s lips quivered as he stared at me hopelessly, a humorless laugh leaving his lips, “You really care that much about him? After a week?”

“You have no idea,” I whispered, looking away from him as seeing him so broken didn’t sit well with me, “He makes me feel like no one else.”

“And I couldn’t do that?” He whispered quietly; eyes trained on the kitchen floor.

“No.” I muttered, gulping and taking a deep breath, “Tell Jihoon I’m sorry if we woke him up and that I’m sorry I couldn’t properly say goodbye, but maybe we’ll see each other from time to time. Next time dinner will be on me, if I see him.”

Soonyoung sniffed once and then looked up and nodded, walking past me. I watched him as he reached inside his jacket’s pocket and pulled out multiple keys. He detached one set and turned around, walked up to me and placed the keys in my hands. The keychain, the little turtle that I gifted him in our first year of college, broke my heart. I looked up at Soonyoung with teary eyes and he was quick to hug me. His chest rocked as he buried his head in my shoulder and I returned the tight hug, feeling my own tears rolling down my cheeks. This hurt a lot more than when he told me had a girlfriend. My lungs were heaving for oxygen and no matter how deeply I tried to breathe it wasn’t working. It was more painful, because we were saying goodbye to each other. To a friend of a lifetime, to a secret lover, to someone who meant to world to us at one point. And that was more painful than realizing we were in love and thinking the other wouldn’t return it.

“Maybe—maybe when—we have sorted things out—we could be—friends again.” Soonyoung said between sniffles, rubbing my back up and down.

“Maybe.” I whispered, unsure if there was reconciling from this one. Maybe there was, maybe there wasn’t.

“Stay healthy for me, please?” I muttered into Soonyoung’s shoulder as I took in his scent for the last time. The scent that brought so much comfort and pain at some point in my life. A scent I associated once with home.

“Yeah…just, be happy.” Soonyoung was the first to pull away, eyes red as he looked me over. I offered him a sad smile, clearing my throat and cleaning my face of the tears.

“Bye.” I called out quietly and Soonyoung gulped before he gripped my wrist and pressed a painful kiss against my lips.

“Bye.” Yet he still managed to smile, that smile that was so contagious and lit up a whole room. I returned it, but only half heartedly as I left Soonyoung and Jihoon’s apartment, leaving my best friend and the feeling behind. It felt liberating in a way, like the final weight was lifted too, like I could fly up high in the sky again.

The door that opened for Joshua in my heart before, was wide open now. Ready to be filled with Joshua and Joshua only.

[nicknellie]

@fireflyingaway requested: willex + waffle house pretty plz

So I did have to do “extensive research” on Waffle House because I don’t have one near me and have never been to one, and that led me to find an incredibly good dessert place literally a ten minute drive from me so thank you for that lmfao. But anyway, I had a lot of fun writing this, I went with getting together (kind of) fluff because that’s my jam, so I really hope you enjoy it!

Smooth Like Syrup

Somewhere along the way, Waffle House had become Alex’s favourite restaurant. He wondered if it was the childhood memories it brought back, weekend brunches spent there with his grandparents who cared for him and loved him far more than his parents ever had. It could have just been the fact that he loved waffles, and with a name like ‘Waffle House’ they couldn’t really put a foot wrong when it came to serving him. Maybe it was just the familiarity of it all – Alex had always found comfort in routine, after all. Whatever the reason he loved it there so much, Alex went to Waffle House at least once a week, more if he had the time. And it was absolutely nothing to do with the adorable new waiter who had started working there for the summer.

If anything, he was ruining it all.

Because he’d been going to the same Waffle House every week for as long as he could remember, Alex was pretty friendly with most of the staff. A few of them had been working there as long as he’d been a customer, so they were on first-name terms and always took a moment or two to catch up with each other once Alex had ordered his food (which never took long because he always ordered the same thing and they all knew that by now). Seeing the same people working there and having the same generic chitchat with them each week worked perfectly for Alex. It was normal, routine, familiar, a social situation he knew how to navigate.

Then they’d gone and hired Willie. It shouldn’t have been a problem, but it was. A problem for Alex at the very least. Not only did it disrupt his routine and catch him unawares the first time he’d walked into the restaurant to see a new waiter, but the waiter had to look like that. Willie was all dazzling smiles and sharp cheekbones and luscious long hair and it was, quite simply, unfair. Alex came to Waffle House to eat, not get flustered over some ridiculously good-looking boy.

For a few weeks, Alex had taken the admittedly immature approach to just avoid Waffle House altogether. Out of sight, out of mind. The only reason it hadn’t lasted long was because he missed the waffles, and he couldn’t find anything to fill that extra hour and a half of his Saturday. So after not visiting for two weeks, Alex returned to Waffle House and resumed his routine, still flustered by stupidly attractive Willie, but most definitely working on a way to stop it being a problem.

His next plan of action had been simply trying to avoid Willie which was foiled the moment he sat down in his usual booth one Saturday afternoon. He had been hoping that his usual server would spot him and come over for a chat, but as luck would have it, Willie got to his table first.

“Welcome to Waffle House,” he had said, beaming down at Alex, who tried to act as if the sudden appearance hadn’t scared the life out of him. He wasn’t sure how well he pulled it off, but Willie had made no comment. “My name is Willie, I’ll be your server today. What can I get you started with?”

Two things had thrown Alex then. Firstly, it had been the first time he’d heard Willie’s name. It was strange to be able to put a name to the face of an angel and he was certain he would never have guessed ‘Willie’ if he’d been given a million tries. Secondly, the fact that Willie didn’t automatically know his order bewildered him. He was so used to the waiters coming over, confirming he wanted the usual, and slipping into easy conversation. This was new and unexpected, and if there was anything Alex hated it was new and unexpected things.

As such, his mind went blank and he completely forgot what he usually ordered. A plain waffle and a diet coke shouldn’t have been easy to forget, it wasn’t anything fancy, and yet Alex made it work.

“Um,” he’d said dumbly, looking up at Willie’s expectant face with his mouth bobbing open and closed like a mildly distressed fish. He could feel his cheeks heating in a blush and looked away as Willie raised a concerned eyebrow.

“Do you need a minute to decide?” Willie had asked sceptically.

Alex had shaken his head vigorously, aware that probably made him look as frantically flustered as he felt and was trying to hide, which only made him more flustered. He took several shallow but slow breaths before forcing words out of his mouth because that was how conversations worked and he refused to lose the ability to speak over this boy.

“No, no, I know what I want,” he had said eventually. “Just a plain waffle and a diet coke, thank you.”

“Is that everything?” Willie had asked, jotting the order down on his notepad.

Not trusting himself to speak any more than that, Alex just nodded. Willie had shot him a bright smile and disappeared off to get his order prepared. The moment he was certain Willie couldn’t see him anymore, Alex’s head flopped onto the table and he let out a long, exhausted, frustrated groan. He felt like an utter mess.

For the rest of that visit, he’d kept it together by simply not talking to Willie unless it was absolutely necessary. Had he been a more confident person he might have found a better way to handle it, but Alex had been cursed with social awkwardness from the moment he’d been old enough to socialise and it wasn’t suddenly going to fix itself just do he didn’t make a fool of himself in front of Willie.

As time went on, things got simultaneously worse and better between Alex and Willie, enough that Alex both dreaded and looked forward to his weekly Waffle House trips. For one thing, he and Willie had got to know each other a bit better – Willie could anticipate Alex’s order now, Alex could just about talk without tripping over his words or saying something slightly embarrassing (which always felt to Alex like something utterly mortifying and worth overthinking because his brain hated him), and if both of them were in the right state of mind they could manage a very brief chat.

But on the flip side, Alex hated Waffle House now and it was Willie who had ruined it for him. Not for any sane reason like being a bad waiter (because he was actually a very good waiter, which Alex thought had something to do with the fact that he always wore Heelys so he could glide across the restaurant which was much faster than walking). No, Willie had ruined Waffle House for Alex because now he couldn’t go in there and see Willie without getting butterflies in his stomach and a giddy grin on his face.

Now that he knew Willie better, it wasn’t just his beautiful brown eyes and gorgeous smile that Alex liked about him. He was talkative, he was funny, he was sweet. He was extremely considerate – when Alex came in one day, Willie met him at the door, walked him to his usual table, told him they’d run out of diet coke and that he had just popped to the store and bought some just for Alex, knowing he would order it. And he laughed at Alex’s terrible attempts at humour, he drizzled the syrup onto Alex’s waffles in the shape of smiley faces, he made sure Alex’s usual booth was always free of people for when he came in. Everything about Willie made Alex’s heart beat too fast and his breath catch and it was starting to make going to Waffle House a very stressful experience.

So Willie was the reason that Alex loved going there and was also desperate to find somewhere else.

But Alex, despite his many worries about life, wasn’t the kind of person to give up on something just because someone else made it difficult. Sure, that rule had usually applied to very different situations, and he actually liked Willie so it wasn’t as if seeing him was a bad thing, but it helped Alex to remember that he’d always powered through things like this and that was what kept him going to the restaurant.

One day, he arrived to Waffle House later than normal. He had come straight from band practise which had gone on longer than normal because they’d spent the first forty-five minutes arguing about the dangers of fiddling with electrical equipment in the rain and decided to make up that time at the end. As such, Alex arrived almost twenty minutes after he normally would have left.

He didn’t spot Willie immediately as he came in and couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Nowadays, Willie nearly always greeted him at the door, knowing exactly what time he arrived. He supposed Willie had long ago given up waiting for him to get there – he had a job to get on with, after all. Alex tried not to feel too sad about it as he made his way over to his usual booth; Willie was a waiter, not a friend, not anything else, and Alex shouldn’t have expected him to wait forever or be there whenever he wanted.

But when Alex came to his usual seat, he was surprised to see someone already sat there. Even more so when he noticed that person was Willie.

Willie looked up as he approached, expression changing from bored to delighted in a second flat. The grin on his face was more than enough to snap Alex out of his sudden bad mood, lifting his spirits and bringing a smile to his face in an instant.

“Alex!” Willie greeted. “You’re here! I thought something had happened to you, man, you had me worried.”

Alex laughed and sat down opposite him, trying to keep his eyes wandering so he didn’t end up just staring at Willie. “Nah, I’m alright. Band practice ran over, is all.”

“I’m glad it’s nothing serious,” Willie said with a small smile. “But if it happens again can you text me to let me know you’ll be late? Just so I know I don’t need to worry about you and I can still keep your table free.”

“Sure, but I don’t have your number,” Alex said, ignoring the persistent fluttering of his heart and the alarms blaring in his head. It seemed as if his mind had pressed its panic button at something Willie had said but Alex was too distracted to figure out what.

“That’s easily fixed,” Willie replied. He dug his phone out of his back pocket and slid it across the table to Alex. “If you put your number in there I’ll text you so you can save mine.”

Heart hammering, cheeks hot, and smile so wide it hurt, Alex nodded and entered his contact information into Willie’s phone. He tried to act nonchalant as he slid it back across the table afterwards, but in his flustered state his aim was off – he pushed too hard and it fell over the edge of the table, right into Willie’s lap. That was one of those slightly embarrassing moments that Alex’s subconscious would likely rub mockingly in his face for days to come and he couldn’t help but wince at the thought.

“Thanks, man,” Willie said, beaming. “It’s just for peace of mind, you know. I really like you and when you didn’t show up earlier I just… well, I wondered where you were.”

Willie wasn’t meeting his eye all of a sudden. In fact, he apparently found the table top very interesting because he was staring at it like it held the secrets of the universe. Alex knew the signs well enough to guess how Willie was feeling then – nervous. But what did Willie ever have to be nervous about?

“Hey,” Alex said gently, lowering his voice in an attempt to calm Willie’s nerves. He leant over the table a little though so that he could still be heard. “I’m here, aren’t I? Nothing bad actually happened. You don’t need to worry about me, Willie. I promise.”

A small, bittersweet smile fluttered across Willie’s face. “Yeah. You’re here.”

The short silence then felt charged, electric, fierce. Why, Alex had no idea.

But Willie broke it, his usual bright smile back on his face as he said, “I hope you don’t mind me eating with you, by the way. I’m on my lunch break and I’d kept this table empty for you anyway so I thought I might as well sit here.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine by me,” Alex insisted. It was a half-truth. Was he happy to have longer to chat with Willie than normal, eat together as if they were friends rather than just a waiter and a customer? Yes. But did this feel too much like a date for Alex’s anxiety to handle, even though it was very clearly not a date? Also yes. He half wanted to ask Willie to sit somewhere else, but that would have been unthinkably rude, so he settled for trying not to be awkward.

Not long later, another server came and brought their food out. For a moment Alex thought it was weird because nobody had even come to take his order, then he remembered that everyone who worked at Waffle House knew what he got so it would have just wasted time if they’d asked. The two of them ate in silence for a while, Willie enjoying his break and Alex enjoying the first food he’d eaten all day.

Their conversation started up again when they were about halfway into their meals. Willie asked about Alex’s band practise, how things were going, what they had lined up. Alex was more than happy to talk about Julie and the Phantoms for hours on end and the way Willie engaged with his waffling on so enthusiastically only fuelled that fire. But in return, Alex made sure to ask how Willie was, how he was getting on preparing to start college, whether he’d had enough free time to skate lately.

It was weird, he thought, that this was their first proper conversation and yet they already knew so much about each other’s lives that it flowed as easily as it would have if Alex had been talking to one of his closest friends. Perhaps he and Willie were closer than he had realised.

He only stayed until Willie’s break ended, which was painfully short. They said their goodbyes, Alex jokingly promised he’d be on time next time, Willie laughed that beautiful laugh of his as he took their plates away, and Alex left the restaurant. He couldn’t shake the odd feeling in his mind, still wondering what had panicked him at the start of their conversation.

It hit him as he was crossing a road, stopping him dead in his tracks and causing an irritated driver to beep his horn at him: Willie had been worried about him.

It felt so much more personal than it should have. If Willie worried, it meant he cared, and if Willie cared then it could have meant any number of things. It could have meant that when he looked at Alex he felt the same featherlight giddiness that Alex did when he saw Willie. It could have meant that Willie spent his days wishing Alex was more than just a regular customer. It could have meant that when Willie asked for his phone number he was actually asking for more than that.

Alex had no idea what inspired him to do it, what unusual burst of courage gave him the ability to go through with it, but a moment later he had whipped his phone out and opened Willie’s contact. There was only one message between them, the one Willie had sent so Alex could save his information, but Alex quickly typed out another and hit send before he had time to regret it.

I know you said I only needed to text you if I was going to be late, but I figured I could text you about other stuff too. Like the fact I’m free next Friday if you want to hang out.

Something like that ordinarily would have stressed him out but he didn’t have the time for that because Willie’s response was almost immediate.

Sure! I hear Waffle House is pretty great, how about we go there?

Alex laughed at how dorky and cute Willie was even over text and replied quickly with: It’s a date.

Willie replied with three emojis – a smiley face, a heart, and a waffle. Even just from that, Alex knew Willie had understood him and that next Friday they would be going on an actual date together. He didn’t care whether it was actually at Waffle House or they tried somewhere completely new; as long as he was with Willie, nothing else mattered.

[porcelain-soupspoon4]

You’re Not So Bad (Isaac Foster x Reader)

A/N: I finished Angels of Death a few weeks back, and it was so good! I just had to write a short story about it. I’m not the best writer, but hopefully my first writing of this anime is somewhat close to Zack’s character.  

Warnings: Cussing, Blood Mention (it’s Zack)

You never expected to meet someone like Zack until he arrived on Floor B2. You assisted Reverend Gray, acting as another guardian of B2 after he took you in when he found you as a homeless teen, sleeping on the outside steps of his building. He wasn’t the best father figure you could’ve had, but he still treated you better than the streets did. When hearing the elevator on your floor ding, you wanted to see who was there, but Reverend Gray stopped you, warning you to be careful of the people you may meet. When you asked why, he described the people that held the names Isaac Foster and Rachel Gardner. In all honesty, you didn’t think they were actually as bad as he made them sound, considering that he over exaggerates his descriptions of people to you to keep you safe. Also considering the other psychotic people he had as guardians on the other floors, you could trust your own gut when you met the duo. You stayed hidden in the background while you watched Reverend Gray journey with Rachel to Dr. Danny’s floor. Watching them leave from the end of the hall, you saw a man in a dark brown hoodie and a scythe laying on the ground. That must be Isaac Foster. You could tell that he was bleeding out badly, a pang of guilt and empathy coursing through you. You were hesitant to approach him, remembering that the Reverend said he was dangerous to meddle with and there was a high chance he could react violently to you if you dared to try and talk. But seeing him looking on the verge of death, you couldn’t help but walk slowly toward him. It may seem unreasonable to walk right into danger, but you knew you could take care of yourself. Reverend Gray provided you with a weapon of your own, a basket-hilted sword. He helped you to perfect every swing and stab. Not only that, but you weren’t too bad at fighting hand-to-hand either. Luckily, Isaac Foster appears to be too injured to try and fight back anyway. I honestly don’t think my sword would be able to block his scythe well, I hope he doesn’t use it on me, you thought. As you got closer and closer to the strange man, he fidgeted a bit. You paused your movements, clutching the handle of your sword in its scabbard. He weakly turned his head towards you, his eyes opening slowly. 

“Who the fuck are you? You gonna try and kill me?” he questioned, a sharp tone in his voice. You noticed he made no effort to reach for his scythe, so you let go of your sword’s handle. 

“No.....I wouldn’t try to kill someone if they’re already dying,” you responded. He let out a dry laugh. 

“I hate to break it to ya sweetheart, but I’m not dying any time soon. Monsters are hard to kill. Besides, good ‘ol Rachel’s gonna fix me up. But enough of the chitter chatter, you didn’t answer my first question. Who the fuck ARE you? I thought there’s only one guardian on each floor, unless Reverend Shithead cheated,” he spat. You let out a small chuckle, finding his way of talking a throwback to when you were a teen. Although, he seemed to be around the same age as you, twenty or twenty-two years old. His bandaged face looked confused to your lighthearted reaction. He scowled, “Hey, what’s all that laughing for? I didn’t even say anything funny.” 

“Oh nothing, just thinking of my teenage days. But to answer your first question, I am another guardian of this floor. My job is assisting Reverend Gray on this floor, though I’m not really allowed to interact with the people who come here. But I uh, couldn’t help feeling a bit bad for you, seeing you bleed out like that,” you finally confessed. Letting out another dry laugh, he looked at you with a smirk. 

“Feeling bad for me, huh? Not the best decision. Don’t know if you can already tell, but I’m a cold-blooded serial killer. If I wasn’t feeling shitty at the moment, I’d cut that pretty head of yours off. Seeing you this calm around someone like me really pisses me off,” he said. You only let out another small chuckle, which irked him even more. 

“I’m sure you would, Isaac Foster. Although, I don’t think a fight between the two of us would end so quick. My weapon may be smaller than yours, but I can hold my own very well. If I could survive majority of my childhood and teen years being alone in the streets, I think I could survive you,” you calmly said. His temper apparently sky-rocketed because the next moment, he was yelling. 

“The name’s Zack, you bitch! Don’t go being so confident in yourself, it’s sickening to watch. I bet my ass could ruin all that confidence with just one land of my scythe. I’ll have you begging for your life, just you wait ‘til I’m in a better state to kill ya. Ugh, now I have two bitches to kill!” he groaned, then coughed loudly, more blood oozing out of his wound. You felt guilty again, wanting to at least stop the bleeding for a little while. 

“I carry some bandages and patches with me in case there’s a time I ever need to fix myself. If you need some I can-”

“Just leave it alone, will ya? I already got Rachel getting shit for me back on the other floor, I don’t need your damn help! Why the hell does everyone wanna help me?” 

“M’kay, but you’re bleeding pretty badly, by the time she comes back, you’ll most likely be passed out-”

“I said leave it alone! Stop tryna play nurse, your stuff probably won’t even do shit.” 

“But it’s better to stop the bleeding as soon as-”

“Will you shut up? You’re gonna make me go into shock.”

“I just wanna help-” 

“I said I don’t want any damn help!” 

“Well you won’t be much of a monster by bleeding out all over this damn floor! If you wanna at least live long enough to kill that girl Rachel, you could at least be somewhat decent and let me patch you up before you go all out, getting your own self killed instead! Now shut the fuck up and let me help! Geez! How does that blonde girl deal with you?” you shouted. Your yelling got him to close his mouth and shut up, surprised that he got someone as calm as you to get angry. How can I get her angry, but not scared shitless? It’s like she wasn’t even phased by my damn appearance, he thought. There was a short silence in the hallway, until Zack finally spoke up. “Didn’t know you had all that anger in ya. Heh, to be honest you even got my crazy self startled. I have no clue how Rachel deals with me, but all I know is her messed up head wants me to kill her. So I’ll do it. If I want to keep my promise to her.....I guess you should do what ya want. But don’t be a pervert about it.”

A small smile formed on your face as you took out your supplies in the small medical bag you carried around. 

“How the hell are you smiling after all that? Sheesh, I’m starting to think you’re even weirder than Rachel is,” Zack let out noises of disgust. You scoffed, rolling your eyes at his childlike behavior. 

“Tell me something.....,” he began to say, “why haven’t ya mentioned anything about my appearance? I’m literally covered in bandages and burnt underneath. Don’t I freak you out at all? Why aren’t ya scared?” 

“Well, I’ve seen crazier. I also don’t like to make a judgement about someone based on only their appearance. Sure you’re not ordinary looking, but I know there’s more about you than what I see on the outside,” you replied. Everything that you needed to help him was taken out. You didn’t have any type of alcohol or a sewing needle and thread to fully cover what you believed to be a deep gash in his abdomen, but it was all that could be done for now until Rachel got back. You reached over towards his wound, but hesitated. You looked him in the eyes, as if you were silently asking for permission. He nodded slightly, his breathing hitching a bit when he saw the look your eyes held. You looked so genuine, not one hint of fear in you. Was that.....kindness? No, it couldn’t be. Why would anyone show kindness to him? You unzipped his hoodie, a faint blush on your face. Sure he was an asshole, but it still felt.....somewhat intimate? Not in an inappropriate way, just in a trustworthy way. The fact he had so much trust in one stranger to help him like this.....it was odd. You undid the bandages already on him that were worn out. His wound was revealed, and so was his skin. Wow....is all of him burned? You shook your thoughts away. You grabbed a bunch of gauze sponges you had and grouped them together, beginning to apply pressure to his wound. Zack hissed at the pain, saying almost every curse word you think is in the dictionary. You let out a soft “Sorry” as you continued to clean up the big amount of blood on his body. Once you began to bandage him up tightly, Zack started up another conversation. 

“You’re different from the other guardians.....why aren’t ya trying to kill me? Isn’t that what you guardians do?” he asked curiously. You showed him another small smile. That damn smile, why does she smile so easily at me? It’s not like Rachel’s forced ass smile. What’s up with this bitch? Why is her smile so.....familiar? 

“Well, like I said before, I just assist Reverend Gray on this floor. He’s the main guardian. I’m just someone he happened to take in after he found me sleeping on the steps of this building. Heh, teenager me. Homeless after my parents abandoned me as a toddler. I’m not sure what made Reverend Gray want to keep me. Sometimes he acts like a father, but then I remember how self praising he is,” you sighed, “I know the people on the other floors kill so you expect me to be the same, but I don’t want to kill someone if they aren’t totally out of their mind.” 

“So is that why you didn’t try to kill me? Cause ya think I’m not totally out of my mind? Heh, well I’m pretty sure me killing people for fun isn’t sane either. I hate seeing people happy, sooooo I kill ‘em. What’s not psycho about that?” Zack stated. 

“Well for starters, I didn’t try to kill you because you were already injured, so it wouldn’t have been fair. And you can’t be totally out of your mind if you let me help you with your injury.” Zack scowled at your reply, knowing you were right. Even as a serial killer, he had morals. He hated lying, and he himself would never tell a lie. 

“You remind me of him too much,” he grumbled. Your head perked up. 

“Did you say something?”

“I said you talk too much.” 

“No, you definitely said something else.” 

“No I said you talk too much.” 

“Doubt it, tell me what ya really said.” 

“That is what I really said.” 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Zack.” 

“Ugh, I said you remind me of him too much,” he said softly. 

“Him?” you questioned. Zack sighed. “There was this man I met when I was younger, a blind man. He let me stay at his place for a couple days. Even after I told him I killed a guy, he still had that dumb smile on his face. He always had that smile on his face around me. It was annoying, him being so calm around someone like me. Pissed me off, but I didn’t kill him. He fed me and everything. I mean he already died cause of something else, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Are ya done with my bandages yet? It feels like it’s been hours!” 

You rolled your eyes at his commentary. “Well, whoever that man is, he had quite the patience with you.” 

“Hey! I was giving you a compliment! Geez, way to be rude!” Zack crossed his arms, turning away from you. You only chuckled once more. You finally finished wrapping enough bandages as you could, making sure it was snug enough. 

“Happy now, angry boy? I’m done. They’ll still get bloody, but at least the bandages are fresh and not worn out,” you said, giving him another smile just to annoy him. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “I never caught your name. Since I told ya mine, it’s only fair you tell me yours.” 

“It’s (Y/N),” you said. 

“Well (Y/N),” Zack rubbed the back of his head. “You’re not so bad.....maybe I’ll keep ya alive.” 

[darkmulti]

My Little Dolly

BTS

Parings: Sadist!Taehyung x brat!female reader

Genre: Smut, angst

Word Count: 4K

CONTAINS DARK THEMES!

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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Summary: Taehyung is known as the ‘new, weird kid’ that hangs out in the basement bathroom. He is also the main target for this one girl. As he was cleaning the blood off his face, he finds a doll on the bathroom floor, and keeps it, only to figure out that there is much more to this doll.

~Hope you enjoy~

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A/N note: Some people are triggered by warnings, therefore I will put the warnings after the under cut.

Warnings: Non consensual sex, humiliation, degradation, choking, blowjob, pet play, forced ddlg relationship, dacryphilia, physical abuse, breeding kink, ‘unprotected sex’ (wrap it up!), overstimulation, bondage, fear kink, anal, blood, masochism, cum eating, cum play, fingering, fisting

Shit. I really be exposing all my kinks in here.. whoops

——————————————————————————

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

Physically, mentally and emotionally. She brushed it off because it was ‘funny’ to others. Of course, she had no idea how it felt like, being humiliated over and over.

You can speak up for yourself, but then be known as the triggered outsider. But when you don’t speak up, they’ll step all over you, as if you’re not human. This is how Kim Taehyung felt. He often got bullied into doing other people’s homework or being the punching bag for insecure students. All because of one bitch who goes by the name, Y/N.

The ‘Princess’ of the school, who never gets in trouble for her insensitive decisions. She made Taehyung’s life a living hell. Why? You may ask. Taehyung's family recently moved in next door. The family that used to live there before them, was Y/N’s now ex boyfriend. They still would’ve been a couple, if he was still next door. Unfortunately he had to move away.

Listen, I know what you’re thinking. This is not Taehyung’s fault at all. Not even by the slightest. This is why Taehyung was confused as well. He tried to apologize (even though he didn’t do anything) but her being an egocentric person, she didn’t take his words to mind.

Now this whole backstory leads up to the current situation. The young man was preparing for his next class until the narcissistic girl showed up beside him. To his ‘luck’ they were also locker neighbors. Taehyung kept his head low and pretended to not notice her, until she spoke. “Babe, did you do my homework?” The young male scoffs, “why should I do your homework?”

“Clearly you don’t know how things go around here. But it’s okay since you’re new. Let me explain again. My father owns the school, and my boyfriend is the captain of the football team. Sweetie put two and two together.” She looks in her locker mirror and applies her lip gloss. “I’m not doing your homework. Do it yourself.”

Taehyung quickly packed his books, hoping to get out of there. “Not so fast lover boy.” Y/N pulls Taehyung onto her and kisses him. She palms the boy then pulls away. “What’s wrong with you, you sick fuck!” Y/N pushes Taehyung back and starts to aggressively wipe her lips. Her eyes scan the hallway and she sees her boyfriend around the corner. “Daddy!” She yells, unembarrassed. The girl runs into her boyfriend's arms and starts to cry on his shoulder. “Daddy! He forcefully kissed me!”

Tae grabs his books and sprints to the boys washroom in the basement. Y/N’s boyfriend followed close behind, with her still in his embrace. Taehyung wasn’t fast enough and the rest of the football team had already pulled him back before he could enter a stall. “Where are you running, TaeTae?”

The captain lets go of Y/N and punches Taehyung’s jaw. He shoves him to the ground and gets on top of him, repeatedly punching him. “WHY WERE YOU ON MY GIRL, TAEHYUNG?!” He grabs Taehyung’s collar and shakes him. “Okay daddy, that’s enough.” Y/N was startled by her boyfriend's sudden behaviour. She grabs his arm and pulls for him to let go. “Come on daddy, he’s not worth your time.” He complies and gets up. “I’m warning you Taehyung. If you look at her, I’ll snap your neck.” He kicks the man’s hip one more time before throwing his girlfriend over his shoulder and spanking her ass.

The gang leaves the male, bleeding on the floor. Taehyung rolls over to his side and chuckles at the blood. He had lost so much blood within these past few days, it was concerning. He weakly gets up and drags himself to the sink to clean up. He looks into the mirror and notices a light brown cloth laying on one of the stalls floor. He turns around and walks closer. With his left foot he kicks it over. “What the fuck?”

It was a stuffed doll with a loose button eye as well as some rips scattered all over. Taehyung picks the doll up and inspects it. It had a heart on its tummy and a snake coming up its right leg. Taehyung smiles at the doll, slightly being turned on by it. “Look at this little doll.” The doll was mesmerizing. Taehyung was completely compelled. He takes the doll and puts it in his backpack.

Meanwhile, upstairs, in class, Y/N sat on her boyfriend's lap while making out with him. Her short skirt allowed the man to spank her ass in the make out, but it only made her grind harder on him. “Daddy” she moans in his ear. “Please take me.”

“Y/N! Pay attention young lady! We’re in school!” Y/N groans and gets off her boyfriend's lap. “Sorry! It’s not my problem that you haven’t gotten laid in the last ten years of your life.” She rudely barks at her teacher. “Look, Y/N. You’re daddy might own the school, but it doesn’t mean you rule the world.”

“Be careful with that mouth. I have the power to get your ass fired within the next week.” She sticks her tongues and crosses her arms. “Y/N! OUT OF MY CLASS.” The teacher points a whiteboard marker at her and kicks her out. “Jeez I’m going.” She storms out but then peeps her head in one more time to say, “Daddy, text me!”

The teacher slams the door and she waits in the hallway. She starts walking back to her locker, only to be met with Taehyung once again. “Wow, look who’s back. Now you know not to mess with me.” Taehyung didn’t acknowledge the girl, instead kept a sly grin. “Hello! I’m talking to you.” The girl taps on his shoulder, and Taehyung looks at her. “Don’t touch me you filthy doll.”

“Filthy?” She asked, shocked.

“Oh sorry, I mean slutty.” Taehyung casually puts his books back into his locker, then puts the empty backpack on. The girl furrowed her eyebrows and huffs, “I’m not slutty!”

“Oh really?” Cautiously, he took out his phone and hit record. He then slid the phone back into his pocket and had the camera angled where you can see her signature skirt. “You really don’t think that you’re a slut?”

“Nuh uh!”

Taehyung quickly slammed her against the locker and picked her up. He tore her legs apart and started grinding his bulge on her bare cunt. Y/N moans and throws her head back. She placed her hands on his shoulders and started grinding even harder, loving the feeling. “See dolly..” he drops her back to her feet and moves away, “you were ready to take my cock.” He moves closer to her again and slides his fingers up her skirt. “You’re such a bad girl. Do you ever wear panties to school?” He slips four fingers into her, making her gasp and cover her mouth. “P-please!” Taehyung wrapped one arm around her waist and brought her closer to him. His fingers went a little faster into her while whispering, “where you running doll? I know you’re enjoying this. Don’t hide from me.”

“S-stop! This is wrong!” She stutters, but found herself loving every second. “Stop? You want me to stop?” Taehyung curls his fingers in her causing her to cry. “Fuck! I’m gonna cum!” The male chuckles and lets his thumb rub her clit. “Cum for me dolly.”

Y/N gasps as she releases on his fingers. She wraps her arms around Taehyung's neck and moans into his shoulder. He takes his finger out and strikes her to the floor. “Dirty, slutty doll. Cumming for another man? Where’s your loyalty?” He growled at her.

She stayed on the ground and cried. He was right. She betrayed her boyfriend just like that. “Stay away from me! You rapist!”

“I’m a rapist now? You never told me to stop..” Taehyung walks closer to the girl, causing her to scoot back. “You will regret what you did today dolly..” he whips out his phone and shows her the video. “Do you want me to show this to both of your daddies?” She shakes her side to side and puts her hands together. “Please, don’t!” The loverboy smiles at the sight. “Good doll.” Taehyung walks toward the girl and deliberately steps on her finger.

She quietly squeals and brings her fingers to her chest, while her other hand tries to massage it. Taehyung turns back and looks at her, “see you at home, dolly”

The man walks back to his house, which wasn’t too far from the school. He greeted his mother with a kiss on the cheek and immediately went upstairs, to his room. He places his bag on the chair and takes the doll out of the bag. “What has this little doll done with me?” Though he was confused, this doll made him feel powerful. He absolutely loved the feeling. He throws the doll onto his bed and heads to his bathroom to take a shower.

Y/N weeps her way home and doesn’t get greeted by anyone. Her parents were always busy, which is why they spoiled her. She might get a lot of attention at school, but all she truly wished for was for her parents to spoil her with love and attention. She runs up to her room and plops onto her bed, face first. She cries her little heart out and turns her head towards the window. Unexpectedly she sees Taehyung with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair dripping wet.

She quickly sits up and wipes away her tears. Her eyes pick up the doll laying on his bed. The doll was giving off this… energy. It was unexplainable. She had this feeling that she needed that doll. Without noticing, she starts staring at it. Even Taehyung had noticed and opened his window, “dolly, it’s rude to stare at someone when they’re getting dressed.” Y/N doesn’t notice Taehyung. The doll's energy was so fascinating, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of it.

At this point Taehyung followed her eyes, and landed right on the doll. He reaches for the doll and picks it up by the neck. He looks back at Y/N to see if this was what she was looking at. But when he did, he witnessed her holding onto her throat and banging on the window. His eyebrow raised and he decided to put his theory to the test. He pinned the doll against the window and slapped it. He looks over at her again and sure enough she was historically crying. He stops and puts the doll down.

He closes his curtains and sits down at his desk. His hands pull open a drawer full of miscellaneous items. He digs around and finally finds a ball of yarn. He starts cutting them up and adding it to the dolls head, giving her hair. The entire night he put together a doll that reminded him of Y/N.

The girl hid under her covers, shaking from fear. She couldn’t sleep the whole night. Something inside her was tearing her heart. Y/N manages to catch three hours of sleep but soon wakes up. She wore a short, pink dress and light makeup. The princess didn’t want anyone to suspect that something was going on. She arrives at school and avoids Kim Taehyung at all cost. Soon the coast was clear and she quickly went to her locker, opening it up as fast as she could. But not fast enough.

Taehyung pulls her back by her backpack and shoves her to the floor. “P..please” she said under her breath. Her eyes examine his outfit. He was wearing all black, which was appealing for her doll eyes. Taehyung stands over her, marking his dominance. “Come with me dolly.” She frantically shakes her head no one backs away from him even more. “Now dolly, you don’t want me to release that video… and” Taehyung pulls the doll out and pulls its hair. Y/N hisses as she feels her hair being pulled too. “You don’t want me to pull off this hair now, do you?”

“N-n-no.”

“Then you shall follow my orders like a good doll.”

Her head lowers, but she does nod in agreement. She was about to get up, but Tae kicked her back to the floor. “From now on, you will crawl. No more walking, kitten.” She shivers and follows Taehyung to the basement on all fours. He leads her to the bathroom and tells her, “pick a stall.” She crawls into the first one and waits for him. “W-what’re you going to d-do to me?”

“I’m gonna make you feel good.” He enters into the stall and locks the door. “Strip for me doll.” Taehyung stares deep into her vulnerable eyes, but she suddenly screams out, “NO!”

“Very well then. Let me see if this works.” The doll makes another appearance but this time Taehyung started ripping the clothes off the doll. Y/N’s dress rips in half frightening her even more. “T-Taehyung, s-stop!” She sobs out. “You should’ve listened to me before.” He slaps the doll, and shoved his finger into a little rip he made in the doll's crotch. The girl screams, terrified and oblivious to what’s going on. “Throw that doll away! It’s hurting me! Please!” Taehyung takes his finger out and throws the doll to the ground. “I’m sure it’s hurting you dolly.” His hand yanks her up, off the floor and he pushes her cheeks against the dirty wall.

Without warning, he shoves his fat, long, veiny, cock into her dry, tight asshole, causing her to wail. Taehyung holds her throat and demands her to shut up. He takes her arms and locks them behind her back and starts pounding inside of her. He spits on his cock to add more lub because it took a lot of energy to move. He spreads her ass cheeks wide and shoved his whole cock into her. “Good dolly. Cry for me. Or beg me to stop.” He grunts and adds more pressure on her neck. “D-daddy, p..please stop! You’re hurting dolly!” Tears stream down her face, followed by broken sobs. “Dolly, dolly, dolly, am I your daddy now?” He asked. “Yes.. you’re my daddy.”

Taehyung takes his cock out and spanks her ass, “knees dolly.” She falls onto her knees and instantly gets a dick shoved down her throat. Taehyung face fucked the girl, who was screaming and begging for mercy around his cock. He takes his cock out, and right away the girl coughs up all the spit. “Clearly you don’t know my rules. Let me explain since you’re new.” Taehyung mocks the girl then grabs her hair and jawline, forcing her to look up. “WHEN I GIVE YOU SOMETHING, YOU TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD..” He slaps the girl then continues, “FUCKING DOLL!”

Y/N sobs louder and louder, hoping for someone to find her. The man gets out of the bathroom stall and uses her hair as a leash. He drags her to his car and drives back to his house. His parents were working, so they had the house to themselves. Tae leads her to his bedroom and tells her to lay on the bed. “N..no. I’m not gon-” Taehyung rolls his eyes and forces her onto the bed. He got on top of her and placed his knees on her arms so she couldn’t move. He cuffs her hands to the bed frame, then takes two of his belts, ties them to the bed legs, then ties them around her legs to keep them open. The girl shakes more aggressively and squirms around more. “TAEHYUNG STOP IT!” She yells out, finally finding her voice. Taehyung heads over to his closet and takes out a tie. He walks back to her and ties it around her mouth.

“No talking, no moaning, no yelling, no touching, no crying and no moving. You are now under my control. I tell you what to do and you do it. You’re nothing but a slutty doll, and I have to train you the right way.” He gives her a list of rules and a slap on her face. He strips himself then hovers over her. He stood on his knees with his cock standing proud. The boy holds her legs up to his waist and rams into her cunt. Y/N screams into the tie and pulls on the handcuff. “PLEASE YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I’M GONNA GET PREGNANT!” She pulls harder on the cuffs and tries to kick Taehyung off her by putting her feet on his chest and pushing. “THAT’S IT! I FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOU, FUCKING BRAT!” Taehyung flips her over and fists her cunt. “STOP IT! STOP IT! I’LL BE A GOOD DOLL, BUT PLEASE STOP, IT HURTS SO BAD!” She screams and cries at the agonizing pain. Taehyung stuffs her face into a pillow and slams his cock into her, fucking all the pain and anger that welled up in him, because of her. “Scream and cry all you want doll, you’ll never understand the pain you put me through.” His balls slapped against her pussy, creating a loud clap.

His cock reached her stomach, causing her to cry with every thrust he gave her. Taehyung spanked her ass over and over, wanting to hear her cry louder. He plays with her burning clit, while keeping his thrust short, but hard. “Am I hurting you doll?”

“YES! Please stop!” She desperately shouted.

“Broke my rule.” Taehyung pushes her face deeper into the pillow and slaps her ass. “When I give you something, you take it like a good doll!” He gives her another rough slap. “Fuck! You’re gonna have my baby! I’m gonna fuck my baby in you doll! We’re gonna get married, you’re gonna have my kids, and we’ll be this happy family.”

“NOO! I’M TOO YOUNG, PLEASE!”

“NO IS NOT AN ANSWER!”

Taehyung strikes her back then ass.

“AHH! PLEASE STOP HITTING ME!” She bawls. Her pussy uncontrollably clenches and throbs around his cock, indicating that she was about to cum. Taehyung’s cock pulses in her and he gives her one more full, hard thrust, followed by a spank, causing both of them to cum. She violently trembled underneath him, crying harder into the pillow.

“Y-you.. c-cummed in m-me.” She slowly lifts her face from the pillow and Taehyung could see the tears falling down onto it. “You deserve it, doll face. Don’t bully people fucking whore.”

“YOU PROBABLY GOT ME PREGNANT AND THIS IS WHAT YOU’RE LECTURING ME ABOUT?!” She tugs on the handcuffs and cries harder. “Stop fucking around Y/N, I see you taking birth control everyday.” Y/N’s eyes widen. Shit! He knew!

“Those aren’t birth control pills.”

“Then what are they dolly?”

“They’re… um..” She couldn’t answer and Taehyung automatically knew she was trying to guilt trip him. “Lying to daddy already?!” He takes the handcuffs off and shoves her to the nearest wall. Y/N couldn’t feel her legs so she fell, until the man came behind her, wrapped his veiny arm around her throat, then pushed his cock back in.

“You’re not getting away with this doll.”

He tightly holds her neck, restricting her to breathe properly. His other hand squeezes her stomach, so that she can feel the enormous cock ruining her insides. All she could do was cry. She couldn’t call for help because no one was here. She couldn’t tell him to stop, or he’ll get more irritated. So she stood there, letting him use her like a ragdoll.

Taehyung took her hands behind her back and kept jolting his hips upwards, directly hitting her gspot. “Daddy- I’m close!” She whispers.

“Hold on dolly, I’m close to.” He grunts one more time before cumming into her pussy again. Cum leaks down her thigh, to the floor, creating a little puddle. Taehyung pulls out and scopes up the cum in his hand. “Get on all fours.” Y/N slowly gets down and looks up at her daddy. Her daddy then squats down and says, “Here’s your milk kitten.” He brings his hand up to her face and she dips her tongue in the cum, drinking it like a cat.

“Good doll.” He takes the remaining cum and spills some in her hair, and face. “Look at you, covered in daddy’s cum.”

Taehyung picks her up and lays her in his bed. He lays right next to her and pulls her onto his chest. The two fall asleep instantly, and wake up the next morning.

“T-Taehyung” the girl sits up and pokes the man. “We’re gonna be late for school.”

“Shhh, we’ll take our time.” Lover boy throws his arm over her and pulls her back into his embrace. Taehyung grabs his cock and pushes it into her, while half asleep. The girl whimpers and tries her best to get away. “Taehyung- we have to go to school!”

“How many times do I-” Taehyung slaps the girl and thrust into her again, this time going fast and rough into her. He shoves two fingers along with his cock into her pussy, trying to get her to shut up. “WHEN I FUCKING SAY SOMETHING, I DON’T SAY IT FOR FUN!” The girl cums three times after Tae hit her g spot sixteen consecutive times.

She lays back, hopeless and tired. His cock kept going and she did nothing about it until he finally came in her. “I made you cum 5 times this morning. Don’t fucking test me, dolly.”

She nods her head up and down, then wipes away her tears. “I-I’m s-so sorry” she chokes out.

Taehyung gets up and grabs an oversized shirt. “Here’s your outfit” he whips it at her, afterwards locking himself in the bathroom. They both get ready, but the only problem was, half of Y/N’s ass was showing. Taehyung reassured her at home, but once they pulled into the school’s parking lot, Taehyung put a collar and leash on her. He forced her to crawl on the ground around school, and unexpectedly slammed a buttplug tail into her. Everyone had mixed reactions. Most of them were shocked, but some were laughing and taking pictures.

Taehyung wasn’t helping the girl out either. In class he made her suck him off, then rub the cum all over her face and hair. At lunch, Taehyung took her to the basement and fucked the light out of her. It was finally last period, she was sitting beside her Daddy’s feet, sucking on his finger.

“Come on dolly. Come and ride daddy for the last period.” Taehyung lifted the girl up onto his lap. He let her unbuckle his pants and take his cock out. “Sit on it dolly, ride me.” She sat on his fat tip, and covered her mouth from. “Daddyyy~ it feels good!” Her hips roll forward and her eyes roll back. Taehyung tangles his fingers in her hair, pushing her face down to his. He gives her a passionate and lustful kiss, while everyone in the room paused to watch. She started bouncing on his cock, just wanting to cum. “Daddy! Make dolly cum!” She quietly moans. The man held her smaller body and thrusted up harder and faster. “Open your mouth.” The girl opens her mouth, knowing what was coming. She loved Taehyung's saliva. It tasted amazing and was such a turn on for her little cunt. “Daddy.. I-I ahh! I-I’m going to cum again.” Taehyung slaps her ass and she releases just from that. “Daddy! I’m orgasming!” She closed her eyes and clenched around Taehyung tightly as possible, releasing all the extra fluids out of her body. A wave pushes through her body, releasing all the clenched muscle, making her cry from pleasure. “I-it feels amazing, daddy!” She pants.

Taehyung throws his head back and cums deep inside her. He pulls her onto his check and rubs her back. “Good dolly. Fucking amazing!”

The class pretends to not notice them, and focuses on the teacher, who’s gotten over it too. Taehyung kisses her dry lips, making them moist again. “My little dolly.”

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Edited and still fucking horrible. Sorry guys😔✌️