#funniest thing I’ve made in eons

[teaitty]

:D two versions.

[yeojaa]

ANGELS & AIRWAVES (w. jjk)

He's never met you but you know how he sounds when he wakes up from a nap and his greatest fears.  You know the way he sings after a shower and that he could be mistaken for a dying seal when he's laughing too hard.  The best part?  You don't judge him for any of it - including the fact he's a filthy Widow main.  He might just love you.

alt summary.  Jeon Jungkook has a big fat crush on a girl he's never met.

pairing.  jeon jungkook

genre + rating.  fluffy crack.  general, for now.

warning / tags.  long-distance relationship, crushes, canon compliant (ish),  eventual happy ending, gaming, gamer!jungkook, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, overwatch.  tags are hard.  :( 

reading.   n/a.  a three part one-shot.

word count.  ~2750

part ii.

JUNGKOOK’S ROOM Sunday, 15 March, 2020.  2:01 AM.   

He falls for you in between the tireless teasing, the laughter that sinks into his ears and replays like a highlight reel.  It happens when he leasts expects it, when he's got his face pressed into the velvet of Yeontan's fur and you're cooing over voice chat, whispering sweet nothings to the manic panic pup.  It comes in the moments he's not expecting it to, when he's frustrated and unbearable and you're as sunny as always, spilling yellow paint across the doors he tries to keep shut.  

Bit by bit, day by day, he finds himself thinking of you more. 

First, it's wondering what you're doing while he's half-asleep and on his way to the studio.  Do you look as tired as you sound?  What colour is your hair and how does it stick up when you've just rolled out of bed?  When you yawn, do you stretch like a cat?  He thinks you do, if the sounds you make are any indication.

Then it's asking himself whether you might like the same things he does, from horror movies to carnival rides.  Would you hold his hand as you made the drop, stomachs leaping into your throats?  Would you scream?  Would it sound anything like that terrified pterodactyl noise you make when you're spawn camped by a Roadhog?  He doesn't consider the fact that he doesn't even know if you're in the same city and you'll likely never meet - bound to the servers of Overwatch only.  

He thinks about all the things he'd like to do with you.  Video game nights filled with butter-tipped fingers and spilled popcorn.  Walks with your family dog - Natto - you'd told him about, all fluffy white fur and dark teddy bear eyes.  Sunrises on the rooftop of his building, because you had the worst insomnia he'd ever seen and what better way to spend your endless waking hours than with him.  

Jeon Jungkook knows he'll probably never get any of these things, but he lets himself daydream anyway. 

Like now, for instance, as the two of you sit in another queue at 2 AM.  You just woke up and you've got that tell-tale rattle in your lungs, words sluggish and lacking any real intent.  He imagines you look the way you sound - tired and a little out of it, with barely opened eyes and sleep-loosened limbs.  

"How'd you sleep?"  He asks softly, crossing his legs beneath him and raising his arms high above his head in the same instance.  The bones of his body realign, ridges of his spine clicking into place when he knots his fingers together and pulls taut.  

"You know - the usual,"  you muse, apathetic.  It's always the same.  

He doesn't question it any further.  He had once or twice, when you'd first started talking and he'd noticed the way you were always up at inhuman times.  One grumbling response had told him enough - your schedule was what it was and no amount of remedying could fix it.  

There's a beat of silence before he hears rustling and then the loud, inescapable sound of an electric toothbrush.  You don't bother to mute your microphone, not that he minds.  He simply sits quietly, scrolling through his phone as you go about your "morning" routine.  

"How was your day?"  You're settled back at your computer, he thinks.  The acoustics sound far less like that of a bathroom.  

"I had the day off, actually."  He'd used it to edit some footage and record a cover.  He hasn't posted it to Twitter yet - there were certain times he was supposed to, to maximize visibility - but he's excited for when he does.  It's a song that's been stuck in his head for weeks, all thanks to you.

"Woah - you didn't work today?"  There's genuine surprise in your question, rounded syllables that pop off your tongue in an explosion of shock.

“Right?”  He laughs a little, short and sweet.

Despite his carefully crafted facade, there were certain plot points that just stuck, intrinsically weaved into his day-to-day whether he liked it or not.

His jam packed schedule, for instance. 

To you, it’s the result of stretching himself too thin between teaching at his friend’s dance studio (where he also apparently moonlights as a personal trainer) and working as a videographer for his media-involved friends.  Not that you know any of them.  No, no.  All the work he does is for the little guys - none of those big companies like BigHit or JYP.  Jungkook’s just your average Joe behind the camera.

“What did you do all day then?”  You’re still in awe, little flecks of wonder threaded throughout like glittering gold yarn.  

“Hung out.  Did some editing.  I’m kind of behind.”  That was an understatement.  He’s working on footage from six months ago, trying to get it out before they head on tour and he won’t have the kind of time he has now.  

“Probably spending too much time gaming.”  

“Yeah, probably.”  Not that he minds, or that he’d change it.  He savours the time you spend together, even if it has kind of messed up his sleep schedule.  

“Sorry not sorry,”  you quip, seemingly reading his mind.  

“You should be,”  he retorts with laughter that builds in his stomach and echoes out of his chest.  “I don’t think I’ve had a good night's sleep in weeks.”

If you hadn’t had this conversation a handful of times before, he thinks you might be offended.  Instead, he can practically hear you roll your eyes - imagines your optic nerve nearly severs with the intensity of it - and grins.

“Don’t kid yourself - you know I’m the best thing about your nights!”

You’re not wrong.  “You’ve been lied to.”

“I’m suing!”

“I’ll have my lawyer contact your lawyer.”

“Wait, what?” 

The two of you have done what you always do - talked yourself into a tizzy that has you both laughing, sound crackling across the airwaves.  It’s nonsensical and silly but it feels good.  Your bond shines with it, glitters prettily between you.

Thank god for Overwatch.

You return the conversation to a semblance of normalcy first.  “Did you listen to that song I sent?”

“Yeah.”  The briefest pause.  “It was terrible.  Hated it.”

“Oh, shut up!” 

“I’m kidding.  It was really good.”  Jungkook doesn’t tell you that he’s had it on repeat for the past few days, saved to the private playlist that’s filled with the rest of your song recommendations.  

“I know!”  You’re preening as if he’d just complimented you, clearly pleased by the praise.  He supposes it’s a pretty good endorsement regardless. 

“Got any more for me?” 

“I should just make you a playlist.”

He ignores the way his heart skips a very real beat, mimics the erratic rhythm of his fingers on his keyboard.  Because he’d absolutely love that.

“You should.”

“Really?”  You sound uncertain but maybe - just maybe - a little hopeful.  He might also just be imagining things, as he so often does with you. 

“Yeah.  Why not?”  It comes nonchalantly despite the rushing in his ears, the wave that threatens to drown him.  He can feel emotion in his chest - winged and distracting.  A kaleidoscope of butterflies fluttering away. 

You’re quiet for another second.  It feels like an eon.  “Okay, yeah.  I’ll start one and we can just add to it together.”

BIG HIT ENTERTAINMENT’S GYM Thursday, 26 March, 2020.  6:30 PM.   

“You sound like a meathead,”  you say, off-hand and disinterested.  

He loathes the grunt that squeaks past his teeth as he gently returns the dumbbells to the floor. Cue a generous chug of water and a near death experience when the liquid goes down the wrong pipe. 

Loud coughing crackles through his airpods before he’s addressing you.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re grunting like a caveman.”

If your first comment hadn’t offended him, this one does.  Jungkook scoffs, tonguing the interior of his cheek as his brow furrows.  Weights are returned to his hands, rotated above each shoulder as he resumes another set of presses. 

“Do you even workout anything other than your fingers?”  He’s making a conscious effort not to make a sound, breath exhaled sharply through his nose.  It’s harder than he cares to admit but he’s also not about to give you an excuse to tease him further.  You already had way too much material.

“Don’t shame me!”  You really don’t sound that indignant.

“So, I’m right?  You’re a big couch potato who’s just jealous of my hot body?”

Now you’re incredulous.  It’s one of his favourite sounds because it comes draped in laughter, dancing around his head in the form of cartoon hearts. 

“Did you just say ‘hot body’, Jay?”

“Maybe I did.  What of it?”  He sniffs - he’s picked it up from you over the months - and your amusement doubles, giggles crashing into each other in their haste.  

“You are so, so weird.”  There’s a tenderness in your voice that he’d like to live in.  It wraps him up like a hug, tugging at his feeble little heartstrings. 

“Weird and hot.”

“You can’t just say that!”

“Why not?”  If anything, you’re the one person he can say it to.  With you, it’s the funniest joke he’s ever made.  It’s playful and silly, with no rhyme or reason.  He doesn’t have to worry about it being misconstrued or held against him. 

“You just can’t!  Only other people can say it.”  You sigh dramatically, from your chest.  “Do I have to teach you everything?”

“Everything but being healthy, probably.” 

“Har har har.”  

He can tell by how the words roll off your tongue, muffled and lacking clarity, that you’re eating.  He wonders if you’ve made pancakes - you’d been complaining about craving them just two days ago.  There are no tell-tale crunching or slurping, so he knows it isn’t your usual double whammy combo of ramyeon and Choco Boys.  

“I’ll have you know I used to run.”  Something about the way you say it makes him believe you, even though he wants to mock you a little more.  

“In gym class doesn’t count.”

“I used to run with Natto, you ass!”  Okay - so that actually sounded legitimate.

“Why don’t you still then?”

“There was an incident once.”  You’re sipping on something - likely coffee with oat milk and two pumps of hazelnut syrup.  It doesn’t matter that it’s dinner time and most people would be winding down for the evening.  “Because of my insomnia, I’d run at odd hours.  One day, some weirdo stopped me while I was running along the river.  He didn’t hurt me or anything—”  A part of him thinks you’re downplaying it but he says nothing, only waiting for you to continue.  “—but he followed me home.  I made the mistake of telling my parents and they freaked out so…” 

“So no more running by yourself.” 

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I’d run with you.”  It doesn’t mean much, but it’s the thought that counts.  

“Thanks, Jay.”  

Not for the first time, he wishes he could hear his name - his real name.  Just once.

“JUNGKOOOOOOOOOOK.”  It eats up every ounce of space of the gym, filling the room with the resounding boom of it.  How it manages to be so loud, he’s not sure.  He wishes it weren’t.  There’s no way you haven’t heard it.  

Especially not when it comes again, deafening even to his occupied ears. 

“JUNGKOOOOK-AH!”  Namjoon now, right as the double doors fly open.

Jimin’s barreling toward the alarmed maknae as he shouts.  “WE’RE DOING A VLIVE!”

Jungkook feels like his insides are melting  - his internal temperature spiking with embarrassment and worry and something that chants oh no! over and over in his head.  The tops of his ears are burning, as is the column of his throat.  A quick glance in the mirror confirms his suspicion that he is, indeed, bright tomato red.

“Jay?”  You repeat once, twice, when he doesn’t immediately answer.  “Everything okay?”

He moves with a speed he doesn’t expect, weights unceremoniously dropped on either side of him before he’s tearing his AirPods out.  “I’ve got to go. Sorry!”

He doesn’t end the Discord call a moment too soon, Jimin upon him in the next instant.  The smaller dancer is draping himself across Jungkook’s shoulders, the widest shit-eating grin on his pretty face.

“Want to join us for a VLive?”  

“No.  I’m busy.”  

“Busy with your girlfriend?”  Jimin’s wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.  He only stops when Jungkook shifts aggressively, tearing himself out from underneath the other.  

“Not my girlfriend!”  

“But you wish she was!”  

He can’t deny that, so he doesn’t bother, instead seizing his discarded weights with an embarrassed scowl permanently etched into the planes of his face.  He’s reracking them - because god, he’s not an animal - when he notices Jimin making his departure, that teasing smile replaced with something soft and edging on concern.

“What’re you going to do when we’re on tour?”

Jungkook blanches then.  You’d become such an undeniable part of his everyday life that he hadn’t even considered what it’d mean when he was busier than now, unable to spend late nights gaming with you. 

But Jimn’s already gone, leaving him and his thoughts alone.

JUNGKOOK’S ROOM Friday, 27 March, 2020.  12:05 AM. 

It’s close to midnight by the team he logs on.  Realistically, he should go to sleep.  He’s clean and worn out and his bed is calling to him like a siren at sea.  But you’re sitting alone in the channel, streaming Overwatch for no one to see, and he can’t just leave it at that.

He needs to say goodnight, like he always does. 

“Coming for my title as Headshot God?”   The quip’s off his tongue before you have a chance to acknowledge him, your laughter the first thing he hears once he’s connected.

“I’ve been waiting in this queue for seven minutes.  Seven!”  

It’s really not that bad.  The rare times you’d both queue for DPS were nearly double that.  

“Patience is key,”  he teases, slumping into his chair as he watches you click through your Hero Gallery.  You’re cruising seemingly aimlessly, roving through the different skins for your mains (Mercy, Ana, Genji, Ashe).  The silence between you is comfortable, interspersed only by the occasional munching he can only assume comes from the carrots you seem to inhale.

For all the junk you ate, you were somehow also weirdly into vegetables.  

“Patience sucks,”  you retort, matter-of-fact. 

“You know what else sucks?”  

It’s a rhetorical question and he knows you know, but because you’re you, you start listing things off just to get under his skin.  “Spiders?  Undercooked samgyupsal?  Not having coffee?  Your jokes?”

If he weren’t laughing so hard, he might’ve given you shit for making fun of his comedic genius.  He really doesn’t understand how you think he’s the unfunny one when all you do is crack puns.  

“I was actually going to say me,”  he finally manages in between those high pitched cackles of his.  

“Wait, why?”  You’re used to him having witty comebacks.

Edge of enamel worries his bottom lip and Jungkook can taste cherry Chapstick and what would be bashfulness, if it had a flavour.  “For earlier.”

You scoff, your own tinkling laughter tearing him out from inside his own head.

“It’s okay, goofball.”

He appreciates how laidback you are, never holding anything against him.  Not even when he hangs up on you or accidentally spams you with memes when you’re trying (and failing) to sleep.  “No.  I’m sorry.”  He says it earnestly, with all the meaning he can muster.  

MATCH FOUND flickers across his and your screen and you’re loading into hero selection.  He knows you’ll be too distracted once the game starts, so he’s grateful when you laugh again, sweet as summer.  

“Nothing to be sorry about.  Just tell me everything’s okay and we’re even.”  

Inhale, exhale.  Try not to tell her you have the biggest, stupidest crush on her,  he tells himself. 

“Everything’s okay.”  And he means it when he says it, though they aren’t the words he wishes he could say.  

“Good.”  

You’ve chosen Genji,  He smiles to himself when you join voice chat and the rest follow, greetings filtering in from your team members.  

“Good luck.”  You don’t need it.  He still likes to say it.

“You have an early day tomorrow, right?”  Leave it to you to remember his schedule even when he doesn’t.  

“Yeah, pretty early.”  

“Then go to bed!  I’ll still be awake when you’re up.”  

He lingers on that fact - holds it tightly in his hands so it can’t slip away.  You’d be there in the morning, just like you always were.  Knowing that stirs those same butterflies in his chest, words stolen by the overzealous beating of their wings.

You read his silence like they’re your own thoughts,  “I’m always here for you, Jay.”  

“Goodnight.”

"Sleep sweet."

notes.  this chapter is set four-ish months following the first, in case that’s not clear.  :) 

tag list.  @teawithbucky​ 

[keykeylocke]

100 Days My Prince Review

Warning: Spoilers

Rating: 3/3

I love this drama. It is the first K-drama I’ve ever watched. I would rewatch this and recommend it to anyone that likes historical or romantic dramas.

Summary

I-Seo and Yul were childhood friends, but became separated through the lust for power of the adults around them. Fifteen years later the two meet again under different identities. Prince Yul has been attacked by his father-in-law, but survives. Yul is found on the outskirts of a small village by the smoke signal operator Mr. Yeon. He is actually the man that adopted I-Seo after the insurrection, when her parents died. She now goes by the name, Hong Shim. 

Prince Yul got amnesia after he was attacked. Before he got attacked he made a decree for all single adults in the kingdom to get married. The headstrong Hong Shim is the last unmarried person in her village. If she does not become a nobleman’s concubine she will be flogged to death. To save her from this punishment Mr. Yeon brings Yul under the alias Won-deuk, and offers him as a man for Hong Shim to marry.

Can these two strangers live as man and wife? Will their past identities be revealed? Will the powers that be keep them apart?

Likes

-This is the funniest drama. There were so many good jokes about Won-deuk not being a good husband.

-The acting, everyone did a really good job. D.O. had the right emotions for his character Yul / Won-deuk. Nam Jihyun and Kim Seon Ho were very good as well.

-The love story between Yul and I-Seo was very cute.

-So many high energy fighting scenes

-The sets and costumes looked realistic

-The drama showed how the different classes lived in that time. A lot of time the royals made things more difficult for poor villagers.

-I liked the love triangle between Won-deuk, Hong Shim and Jung Jae Yoon. Jae Yoon was a good second lead. For a few episodes I wanted him to end up with Hong Shim. 

-I liked the little cartoon bear and rabbit in the outro.

Dslikes

-The ending. Yul basically had to beg I-Seo to marry him. It felt like he was so in love with her, but she really didn’t care that much about him. I know her character was very independent and didn’t want to be a princess, but the ending could have been a little more romantic.

-The death of Cha-eon happens too soon in episode 16. It made the rest of the episode quite anticlimactic.

Favorites

Favorite Characters

-Jung Jae Yoon: he was an interesting character. He was in between the noble world and peasant world, because he was the son of a concubine. His character was so funny and charming. It was so cute that he couldn’t remember most faces, but he remembered Hong Shim’s. This character is the reason for my Kim Seon Ho obsession(love).

-Mr. Yeon: He was so funny. He had the best facial expressions. Every decision he made as a character was to protect his daughter Hong Shim. I was really endeared by that.

Favorite Scenes

-When I-Seo sneaks into the palace to visit Yul and makes him porridge. I thought that was the sweetest thing.

-When So-Hye is in the cottage with her baby. We can hear the retelling of the dandelion story that Seok-Ha told her. It is such a beautiful scene.

[angrylizardjacket]

i’ll leave early {Machine Gun Kelly}

Anon asked: slow dancin’ with anybody you choose

A/N: 1173 words. I could have used this prompt more effectively but life’s full of little disappointments. so there’s a party happening at my house in a few weeks and i’ve just been shitty and stressed about it because i get home late so i’ll arrive to the party late, but i was talking to boyo and i asked if i could hang out with him instead of going to the party altogether, and he said yes, because he said he probably wouldn’t go, and then he says ‘even if i do go, i’ll leave early’ and i almost cried, and that’s where the title comes from. First of the prompt renaissance. Written in an hour and a half. Musician!Reader, set in america, v soft and a bit uhh?? gentle angst i guess. Please give some feedback? It’s a bit experimental in style, I hope you enjoy!!

----

He’s away, on tour, in hotel beds, in tour buses, away from you, and it’s June but it feels so cold. 

Life is static, holding down the fort, holding the torch, waiting, always waiting. So static it’s like you’re starting to lose feeling in your legs, your life; it’s June and you’re getting frostbite in the heat. Everything feels numb - come home, come home - and you sit at home watching his Instagram story, listen to his album, FaceTime him when you can, a brief reprieve.

Of course you could live without him, of course you are; you wear blush and a sun hat and look like you’re thriving, but you’re allowed to miss, allowed to want, allowed to feel the loneliness like it aches. He’s been gone for so long, and it feels like the days between phone calls get longer and longer and longer and longer.

He looks tired.

Stubble; cute but unkempt, and bags you can see beneath his eyes for the subtle dusting of concealer. He’s got his crew, got Slim and Rook and now he’s got Yungblud - so talented, so talented, so far away - but the way he speaks about the tour, he’s always on the move, always doing something or going somewhere or jumping around like it’s his God given mission. 

When you ask if he’s coming home soon, he gives the first real smile he’s given all conversation - soon, soon, always soon. He misses you, the words spill from his lips, from his smile; maybe it’s not the sun thawing you this balmy June morning.

Like moves on, moves forward, drags you with it, it won’t let you stop, won’t let you freeze, won’t let you stagnate too much. Meetings and interviews and recording sessions your own career staggers forwards, one foot in front of the other into the future. The world holds it’s breath waiting for what you’ll deliver, you along with them without him there to help fight off the self doubt that’s made a home for itself in your studio.

He’s proud, you don’t see it but he’s proud. He catches your interviews when he can, listens to the samples you send. He won’t hold his breath with the rest of the world because his words to you are reassurances, without hesitation, without reservation - you’ve got this; you’ve always got this. Between nights out and days prepping for performances, you’re the constant against the landscape that’s become an impressionist blur beyond the tour bus windows.

You look tired.

Interview makeup and hair done by hands that aren’t yours, the downturn of your lips is the most real thing about you, the yawn that claws it’s way up your throat is all your own. Telling him you’re fine, you can’t quite smile. Beautiful but a little tragic.

July feels like an eon, and he’s melting, unfocused in the heat. Screaming fans and a new sound and lyrics that might be too honest, he feels too raw already. No time to recover.

Of course he could live without you, without the rumours that follow him, the allegations of cheating that he knows aren’t true and hopes you don’t believe and wishes would die down. Everyone seems to know everything about the two of you before either of you do. 

How did it come to this, to missing you like a physical ache, like a punch to the gut, like a phantom limb. He thinks he lives his life on the tight rope between fucked up and being fucked over; when it gets bad he tries to pick fights, to push you away, to keep you safe, but you stay despite reason. Finally, finally, words will die in his throat when the fight’s left him, like you’ve sapped the frustration and the fear and the - the rage, the fucking rage at all the shit the world’s put him through - and he’s left standing in his kitchen with your arms around him. The ringing in his ears turns to you. Can’t get rid of me that easily. He doesn’t want to.

So when you call, looking weak, exhausted, and it’s all he can feel too, he tells you to pack your bags, that he’s flying you out to wherever he is. He can’t come home, he’s still on tour, but he’ll bring his favourite piece of home to him. 

You ask what you’ll even be doing there, and he answers - anything, anything you want.

You can’t say what you want. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

“When I get there, what if you’re doing something?”

“I’ll leave early.”

Maybe you hug for too long in the airport, maybe you can hear people whisper and see phones photographing you, and maybe you don’t care. It’s been so strange, to be away for so long, to know he left an important interview to come pick you up, to realise you’d put your life on hold just to see him again on the other side of the country. It’s worth it. He won’t let you go and it’s so worth it.

All you want is to rest, to rest and to be with him. Quietly he’s thankful, he’s remembering just why he loves you, he’s glad you always somehow know exactly what he needs. Pizza in his hotel room behind a locked door, a plush bed with his arm around you while you watching fucking cartoons and you laugh like they truly are the funniest things in the world. The world outside the window lights up with the excitement of a Saturday night, but the curtains are drawn and you’ve brought a sample of the songs you’ve been working on. 

It’s raw, tone little tired, a little forlorn, slower than your usual stuff, but painfully heartfelt. But he’s nodding along. Getting to your feet, you’re offering a hand, offering a dance and a smile and he could never say no to that. Not the expected reaction, but a welcome comfort for you both. Swaying - gentle, gentle, the world doesn’t get to see him gentle - he listens to the lyrics, the melody your heart beats to. His arms are around you when you turn bashful, apologetic, the style’s unexpected, not your usual, an experiment, a moment of honesty, but he bats it away - don’t apologise, never apologise. He holds you closer, listens to the lyrics, the workshop in his mind already dissecting it, already looking forward to working on it with you if you asked him to - you will, you always do.

But for now, he just spins you, catches you, and flops back on the bed, pulls you down beside him. You’ve earned a break, earned this moment with his arms around you, as he’s earned it too. 

A night won’t bring you back from exhaustion, but it thaws your mind, the stagnated ideas and concepts you’ve been ruminating on. Of course you could live without him, thrive without him, but no-one gets you quite like him.

It’s the start of August, and the air feels warm again.

[bybyeblackbird]

MY HOLLYWOOD VAMPIRES / JOHNNY DEPP EXPERIENCE | PART 1

*Guys I am so sorry this is so long but I wanted you all to be a part of it because I wouldn’t have been there without you!!!!*

I don’t even know where to start but I want to write this up before I forget it all! (Though let’s be real, that’s not likely to happen!)

Due to the generosity of a lot of seriously wonderful human beings, myself, my two friends Andrea and Leanna, and my mom and her boyfriend Dan (a big Alice Cooper fan), had meet and greet tickets and wristbands to stand at the front during the concert.

The meet and greet portion was a few hours before the show and thank GOD it was before and not after, because I was an absolute wreck the entire day and I probably would’ve just been stressed the whole concert!

Anyways, we were led back to the meet and greet lineup by Amber (she works on the tours and features in a lot of Kyler & Tommy’s pics/vids!) She’s super super sweet and smily and a lovely person! She laid down the ground rules (no phones/selfies, no autographs, and no gifts (she would take them and the band would get them after)).

I was getting a bit bummed at that time, because I had the birthday book that @hallowedmaiden made that all of our letters are in, one small bracelet for him that I’ll explain later, and my mom had one of the Mr. Stench candles to give him. And I was realizing I wouldn’t be able to give them to him personally and explain/go over it all with him. BUT then a knight in shimmering armour appeared in the form of Nathan, who is one of THE sweetest and funniest humans I’ve met. Seriously, Johnny’s whole team is incredible. Anyways, Nathan came out to the line and approached us and asked if I was Alanna. *I should mention here that I’d already made his team aware of the book and that I was bringing it*. He explained that he’d come out to get the gift and that he’d bring it around and meet us on the other side, since I wouldn’t be able to get in the door with a gift. He goes, ‘Yeah, Johnny’s excited to see you and the book.’ Me (*feeling faint*): ‘Wait.. he’s excited?!’ Nathan: ‘Course he is. He’s excited about everything.’ (Seriously love Nathan, he’s so deadpan and hilarious).

ANYWHO, so we go in last, which Nathan made sure of so we’d have enough time, leaving our bags and such outside. Johnny was the first one in the door, and he smiled as we walked in, and then Nathan comes over and ‘introduces us’ lol: ‘Johnny, this is Alanna, she’s the one who made you that vinyl record a couple years ago, etc etc’ (I can’t remember everything Nathan was saying because I WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF JOHNNY DEPP LOL OK). And Johnny’s all smiles and says, ‘Yes, yes hi! I just want to say thank you, thank you for all the support, for sticking with me, thank you.’ And at this point I’m floating up out of my own body and can’t really remember everything that was said but I probably said something like, ‘of course and thank you’ or something like that, and then everyone in my group, and Joe and Alice all posed for pics. We did a couple group photos, then Johnny and I did a bunch together, then me, Johnny, my mom and Dan, then me, Johnny and my mom, then me Johnny and Andrea and Leanna. (PHEW so many pics that man is a patient saint!!)

After pictures, Nathan comes over with the bag with the book and other gifts in it. So I’m helping him get the book out of the bag (because it’s HUGE y’all, Haley put SO much work into it), and FUN ANECDOTE: Nathan’s trying to get it out and I’m like, ‘Be careful, it’s really big,’ and without missing a beat, Nathan just goes under his breath, ‘That’s what she said.’ LOL honestly love him.

So as I’m getting the book ready, turns out that behind me, MY MOTHER has taken over Johnny. And she’d kill me for disclosing this but my mother was quite drunk at this point. I turn round and she’s got the Mr. Stench candle and is basically just SHOVING IT UP JOHN’S NOSE LIKE ‘SMELL THIS LOOK SMELL IT WE MADE IT BECAUSE OF YOU,’ omfg Johnny is a saint A SAINT for putting up with my mother, bless her. So he does take it and smell it, and my mom’s rambling away ‘So yeah it’s patchouli and tobacco because Gwyneth Paltrow said… *blah blah*,’ so he takes a big sniff and goes, ‘Hey! That smells like me!’ God bless him. Then she starts getting close and looking up at him and goes, ‘You know you are MUCH more handsome in person than photos!!!’ At which point I decide to remove her and show him the book LOL

So Nathan gives the book to Leanna, who is holding it like a table so that Johnny and I can go through it. Meanwhile, Kyler is snapping pics of all of this and I love him SO MUCH FOR IT SERIOUSLY THEY’RE ALL AMAZING I COULD CRY. Full disclosure: I can’t even remember exactly what I was saying about the book to Johnny LOL. I do remember talking non stop and barely letting him get a word in edgewise, but he just kept saying ‘Wow, wow’ as I was explaining. I did tell him that Haley made it, that there’s fans from all over the world who sent in a letter per page, and showed him some of the character pages. I do remember that when we got to the Edward Scissorhands page he was like, ‘….Hey wait! I know that guy!’ Bless this human LOL.

SO THEN I gave him a bracelet. I haven’t talked about it on here, but my friend’s cousin is an 11-year old girl named Sarah. She makes bracelets and sells them, and then donates all the money to Sick Kids Children’s Hospital. All of her own idea, and she’s been doing it for years. And she’s ELEVEN. Damn. She also happens to be a huuuuuuuge Pirates of the Caribbean fan! So we got her to make him a bracelet with Hollywood Vampires colours (red & black), and that’s what I’m giving him in those photos. She also wrote him a sweet little note to go with it :) And then he started joking about putting the bracelet in his braids, which is what those photos are LOL. And then he ended up wearing it on his wrist on stage!!

OKAY GETTING NEAR THE END

So after all the gifts are done, we start to leave (we’ve already been given EONS more time than you’re usually supposed to have, and Alice and Joe had already split at this point haha). Andrea and Leanna, my mom and Dan have left the room already, but honestly, Johnny and I were kind of still like, clinging to each other, he was giving me hugs and kisses on the cheek, and I just kept holding onto his arm so I didn’t fall over in a dead faint. And I’m thanking him for everything he’s done for me, and that’s where he goes, ‘I should be the one thanking you. You stood by me and supported me when no one else did - thank you.’ And I said something like, ‘Of course, and I always will.’ And he then started, like, almost talking out his thoughts? About *the situation*, but I’m not going to be recounting those words here, because I’m not comfortable with that, and I don’t want those words to be taken and twisted by any nefarious people. But I ended up just grabbing his arm and saying something to the effect of ‘You’ll get through everything, you’ve got this,’ or some such thing and he goes, ‘I know. Thank you, thank you.’ And then as I was leaving he asked where I was sitting, Nathan told him I was on his side of the stage and that he’d point us out to him at show time. And then I left!

The concert itself was AMAZING and I’ll do a separate post about that, so I guess this is just Part 1 LOL SORRY IT’S SO LONG AND IF YOU STOPPED READING I DO NOT BLAME YOU AT ALL LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLL