#funfact: opioids were used as cough syrup and was occasionally given to children to help them sleep

[tacky-jack-with-a-hat]

Mostly incorrect Florida History

1513

Mother nature: *makes a unique ecosystem that is mostly swamp and intensely hot so people can't live there*

Spain: it's free real estate

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1763

Britain: Sure you can have Havana, Cuba and Manila... In exchange for your sunshine state! *evil laughter*

Spain: this one *points at Florida*

Britain: yes-

Spain: *already gone*

Britain: ...

*********

1781

Britain: heyyy

Spain: no

Britain: please!

Spain: you wanted him

Britain: at least take the west-

Spain: fine. Just don't expect me to regularly babysit.

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3 years later

*knock knock*

Spain: *opens door*

Florida holding a sign he can't read:

"I'm not paying child support -England"

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1821

DC: God, it's hot down here-

DC: *sees Florida holding a sign*

DC: shit

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1821- 1914

Mother Nature: hey Florida I- WHAT THE FUCK!

Florida: *high*

DC: The box said opioids were supposed to help him sleep!

Mother Nature: WHY WOULD YOU-

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20th century

Florida patting himself: Am I getting bigger or is my Everglades getting smaller?? And who's that guy-

*New York casually carrying a surfboard*

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2023

Florida: I wonder why people are mad at me?

LGBTQ+: hey can I have rights?

Florida: ...

Department of education: can you stop defunding me and give me my books back?

Florida: ...

California: Can you stop setting my ottoman on fire?

Florida: ... no.

********

2060

Florida: LOUI HELP!! SHE'S DROWNING ME!!!

Mother Nature: You were supposed to be a swamp you-son-of-a-bitch!