#fun fact: thanks to tumblr I just learned that a new Dragon Age Game has been announced

[eluari]

Tumblr is an interesting phenomenon. You can be gone for years, but when you log in, it somehow still feels like ... home.

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with MustangSally

MustangSally has 33 stories at Gossamer. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve probably heard of at least one of them, Iolokus, since it’s an X-Files fanfic classic. All her fics hit big and are well worth your time. I’ve recced some of my favorites here before, including And Dance by the Light of the Moon, All the Children are Insane, and Iolokus. Big thanks to MustangSally for doing this interview.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I could tell you but then I would have to kill you.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Yes and no. Yes, because life has moved on since the early nineties and the characters and the fans are in vastly different places now. Our current tech would make the premise of the X-Files impossible. No, because of the longevity of some of the Star Trek TOS work (there’s an archive of hard copy fanzines at the University of Iowa). Top-drawer authors started out in TOS fandom.

I’m just greatly saddened that my physical body is showing wear and tear while the fic doesn’t. Fic gets to stay smooth-skinned and muscular, captured at the peak of perfection.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

At the risk of sounding atrociously trite, I think of the friends I made.  I met some very remarkable women that I’ve been able to stay friends with online for over twenty-five years.  We may have moved to Facebook and post entirely too much about our pets and which of our body parts has sagged this week, but we’re friends.  It’s a furiously funny, feminist, and well-educated group of women with jobs in the highest levels of academia, finance, communications, and media.  I’m amused by the fact that if I have a question about how a virus replicates, I can ask a PhD I’ve been drunk with in Las Vegas.

Back in the day, I had a job that sent me traveling around major cities in the US and UK. I could post on a message board and within ten minutes there were people I could go out for dinner and drinks with. We already knew we had something we could talk about for at least a couple of hours. Additionally, most of these people were women so there was an added level of security. Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Well, it was mostly atxc and the Yahoo! groups mailing lists that spiraled out into Geocities sites and, eventually, LiveJournal. The amusing thing is that getting in on the ground floor of social media and the Internet has helped me get jobs!  When I look at a new piece of software, I think, ‘this is hella easier than uploading to Geocities.’  We had to walk uphill both ways, in the snow, on dial-up, fighting off dinosaurs with our AOL CDs while writing HTML code. What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

The past four years in politics have basically been the ugliest online kerfuffle the world has ever seen. I survived the Shipper Wars of ’96 and I thought those were brutal, but that was NOTHING. The only way to win an argument online is to not have the argument at all. Arguing with a troll is like mudwrestling a pig: You both get filthy and only the pig is happy.

Also, READ THE FUCKING TERMS OF SERVICE.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I had the most terrible straight-girl crush on Scully. I wanted to be her best friend, I wanted to BE her.  I wanted to order Chinese food and paint each other’s nails and talk about bones.  Scully and Princess Leia and I could all just hang out poolside with hot and cold running waiters and poolboys, drink margaritas, and bitch about how unfair it all was – if the stupid men would just get OUT OF THE WAY AND LET US DO OUR JOBS, the world would be so much better. What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

This question is really about Iolokus, isn’t it?  You can’t fool me. [Lilydale note: I can neither confirm nor deny the motivation for this question, but I cannot complain about the answer.]

Simply put, I was enraged. The moment it was revealed that Scully’s ova had been used in experimentation, I lost my feminist mind. It was the most obscene defilement imaginable.  Scully wasn’t nearly as angry as I was.  What I thought needed to happen was for Scully to become a fiery force of vengeance against the MEN who had done this to her.  Clearly, I was not going to get that level of satisfaction from the show, as I was imagining Kali-like carnage on a global scale. I emailed RivkaT (whom I did not know well at that point) with a proposition that we work together. Strangely enough, we didn’t meet face to face until we were well into the project, but we did talk on the phone quite a bit. The rules were simple – everyone had to be punished in truly horrific ways, and at some point, we had to see if we could write a car chase (only because that seemed impossible).  Then it basically turned into a very twisted game of chicken to see who could be the most outrageous in terms of killing people off or writing really horrific things that fit within the structure of the narrative.  I did, in the end, write the car chase, but RivkaT one-upped me by throwing in a helicopter (a FOX News helicopter, at that).  

Really, RivkaT?  A helicopter? What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? I am terribly proud of what I wrote, pleased that it brought pain and pleasure in equal amount to people, and, again, thrilled by the people I became friends with. I admit that I stopped watching the show when Scully announced her pregnancy.  I could only see a long jump over a shark tank for the rest of the series. I haven’t watched the new episodes, either.  It is complete in my mind and doesn’t need to be continued.  I wouldn’t say no to having a reunion with some of my fic friends, although we’re still chatting online like everyone does.   Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

Rivka and I wrote in the Buffy fandom for a few years, but then we moved on to real adult jobs that left absolutely no time for me to write. I’m in education, and I regularly sweat blood for fear that someone is going to find my old fic. The Buffy people were fun; there was a certain *shininess* to them that I really enjoyed. The X-men authors were just batshit and delightful, and some amazing stuff came out of Marvel fandom, particularly in the Thor/Loki and Steve/Bucky subgenres. I’ve learned to appreciate a good coffee shop AU and one famous Erik/Charles fic where all the main characters are crabs. Seriously, crabs—it’s hysterical. [Lilydale note: Other Crabs Cannot Be Trusted by groovyphilia currently has almost 2,500 kudos at AO3.]

Every few years, I’ll have a student try to explain to me what fandom is and I just smirk. Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? No. Not really. Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom? I fell into an X-Men hole a few years back and had a great old time wallowing in the Cherik muck, and there was a flirtation with BBC Sherlock as well. Strangely enough, I became interested in A/B/O fics only because of what they were saying about the role of women in our society. The limitations on the male omegas seem absurd and then you realize those are the same limitations put on women all. the. time.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

RivkaT very nicely formatted everything and put it up on AO3. What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I will always be stupidly proud of how shocked and horrified people were by Iolokus. The truth of the matter is that Iolokus has Greek drama at its core. Scully is Medea, and the entire story is lousy with “blood on the threshing floor” and Dionysian rites. The everyday is subverted into horror, and wives and daughters will tear men limb from limb like the Maenads. Since I was ultimately disappointed with what Chris Carter did with the entire show, that approach seemed appropriate.

At a certain level, all fic is corrective fic.  Like critic Anne Jamison said, “Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”  And because fic has fallen so much into women’s sphere, a pure form of correction is not just the death of the author but the MURDER, a new creation springing up from the spilled blood like Cadmus sowing dragon’s teeth.

Okay, that’s a bit much. Maybe I should just take myself back to the isle of Goth Amazons or something. Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I had to write a self-evaluation and a reflection on pedagogy today. If that’s not fiction, I don’t know what the fuck is.

All my creativity is caught up in trying to pretend to be a normal middle-aged white woman so no one knows I am really a lizard.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Keep writing, keep reading, keep fighting the commercialization of narratives. As things grow more and more commodified, all our dreams and desires reduced to tchotchkes made in China, it’s a revolutionary act to separate your work from the marketplace. Be bold, take chances, turn the trope on its ear and kick it in the ass. Take everything the creators have done to make a work palatable to the unwashed masses and set it on fire.

Be subversive.

Be mean.

Have a great fucking time.

(Posted by Lilydale on March 2, 2021)

[hypersweettea]

The Miraculous Alignment: Dawn of the Wild Age

For @miraculous-mused from a prompt they reblogged that I dare not link lest this get lost to the crappy tumblr tagging system

When Marinette first began to merge with the ladybug that landed on her hand one day after the celestial event people were now calling the Miraculous Alignment, she was terrified. What if she became really small? What if her eyes got all creepy looking? What if she got a sudden uncontrollable craving for aphids that could never be sated because they were so dang small?

Luckily none of that happened. As the Wild age began its fledgling stages and people learned more and more about its affects, they realized that you didn’t get all the traits of the animal you merged with. Some believed it had something to do with you personality and scientists, those that had dropped what they were researching before the Miraculous Alignment to dedicate the rest of their lives to studying the Transformation, still weren’t sure.

For Marinette all she got was some mandibles sticking out the side of her mouth almost like tusks (that the boys and girls in her class swore to her were cute); a hard chitonous plating on her forearms, abdomen, and legs; some antennae; and a figurative green thumb. After she’d adjusted to the changes she took some time to mourn the fact that she hadn’t gained wings, it would have been nice to fly.

Some of the kids in her class had also been transformed. Most have them hadn’t been too drastic though. Kim had merged with a monkey, gaining opposable thumbs on his feet and a tail. Alya got a fox ears, tail, and hind legs. Kagami had merged with a bearded dragon and all she got was scaling and some horn like ridges over her ears. Alix got the ears, tail, and buck teeth of a rabbit which Kim has made the mistake of making fun of only once before he’d found himself on the business end of the powerful rabbit legs and feet she’d also gained.

Max got the trates of a horse that made him look like a satyr if they were part horse rather that goat. Max was thankful that nothing had changed to hinder his ability build robots or code and design video games. Luka had lost his legs to become basically a naga. Beyond that he hadn’t changed much in appearance besides some scales that accented his cheekbones and covered his arms. But if he opened is mouth you could see he had a full set of colubrid snake fangs that were thankfully nonvenemous. Like with Max, Luka was just thankful he could still play guitar. There were stories in the news of people that had lost their arms and hands for flippers or wings.

Nino had merged with a turtle and got a shell as well as scaling on his forearms, legs, and torso. Although his shell made his back basically immobile it otherwise didn’t hinder him too much in his day to day life. Kagami had said that he reminded her of a kappa when she’d seen it for the first time and Nino had taken such a shine to it he changed his DJ name to Cappa as a tribute to his new form and a nod to his cap that he was never without. He also found out after going swimming with the class one day, that he could breath through his butt, which all the boys, of course, thought was awesome. They had all spent the rest of the day timing how long Nino could spend underwater before he had to surface.

Chloe’s transformation was completely unfair. She got chitonous plating on her arms and legs that looked like elegant gloves and boots and the spoiled brat also got wings dang it. Marinette counted that as a negative for the existence of karma.

As if Adrien wasn’t going through enough being a famous model, the poor guy had gone and merged with a cat, gaining all the affects of a cat boy; ears, eyes, a tail, and some adorable little cat paws with toe beans to match on his hands and feet. He also gained a cult following from the Venn diagram intersection of weebs and furries. His dad, on the other hand, got the wings, eyes, and antennae of a Hawkmoth as well as an extra set of limbs that resembled their insect counterparts. As a result the man had shit himself in as a recluse and put his new appendages to work designing. They were at least good for multitasking.

Gabriel has been one of the more unfortunate victims of the Transformation. But none had had it worse than Lila, which Marinette counted tha as positive for karma’s existence although she still felt bad. Lila had had the misfortune of merging with a naked mole rat. First she lost all the hair on her body, which would have been fine people live with alopecia all the time. No, what made it truly horrible was that along with the hairlessness, Lila gained the wrinkly skin texture. So not only was she bald, she was covered in wrinkles that made her look truly unfortunate. Gabriel had taken one look at her with his many lensed eyes and fired her on the spot. Lila had taken the news extremely hard and had been dragged from the Agreste studio kicking and screaming. Marinette’s classmates had tried to console her but she’d practically bitten off the heads of anyone who tried to speak to her and the class walked on eggshells around her for about a month before she calmed back down.

After Lila calmed down Marinette noticed she started focusing more on her studies, especially biology. She even asked Max to help her get her grades up and study. When Alya asked her why the sudden change Lila vowed that should would find a cure for the Transformation. She said it was so people that had been affected negatively by the changes could get their lives back but Marinette knew it was so she could get back her smooth skin and glossy brown hair. The rest of the class saw through her charitous claims as well but ignored it in favor of praising Lila’s forward thinking. They figured that if she did find a way to reverse the changes at least some good would come from her vanity.

[third-rail-vip]

fic writer interview

Tagged by @adventuresofmeghatron

I’m late so you’ve probably already done this but tagging:  @laurelsofhighever  @tanaleth  @asaara-writes  @allisondraste  @pchberrytea  @red-hot-chili-tiefling

Thank you for tagging me!  Sorry it’s taken me forever, my imposter syndrome has been laughing loudly in my face at the idea of being considered a ‘writer’.  Please, come in, sit down and have a look see at my complete lack of process or general idea of what’s going on :) 

Name:  Ginger

Fandoms:  Fallout 4 currently.  Dragon Age a while back.

Where you post:  I put all my full fics on AO3 and if it’s a shorter one then I post the whole thing here on tumblr too.  If it’s giant then I post a snippet here with a link to AO3.

Most Popular One-shot:  Based on kudos The Wanderers - yeah i’m surprised too.  It was my first venture back into writing after taking time out and it was a whole new fandom and a game I was new to.  It was a fun silly little exercise in me learning my new otp and working out their fairly early days dynamic.

By comments, it’s Complicated.  I’d had that one in mind for a while before writing it (probably why it took 4 rewrites before it felt how I wanted it to).  It’s a good bit of post-feral encounter wound tending and hurt/comfort with some feels starting up (or becoming harder to deny).

Most Popular Multichap:  I don’t have any multichapter fics any more.  Once upon a time I had a Dragon Age Origins one.  I’m not good at the commitment of multichapter.  I made it 14 chapters into that one and it took me so long to drag myself out of Lothering I took it out back and shot it.

My Fallout one shots are part of an ongoing series - Then I Met You - which is a series of snapshots of Ivy and MacCready relationship (it’s still in pre-relationship stages right now).  It’s mostly character driven rather than main plot driven, but it does fit within the fallout 4 canon with some backstory and timeline canon divergence.

Favourite story you’ve written so far:  You know what, it’s my least popular Fallout one, but I have a soft spot for Blood & Rain.  It’s the second one I wrote and it’s Ivy’s pov with a hint at her pre-war life (she’s a non-canon origin sole survivor).  I got to indulge myself in writing descriptions and some action - my old faves from when I used to write (pew pew is way harder to write than stab stab).  It’s also got a really important bonding moment between Ivy and MacCready.

Fic you were nervous to post:  Every damn one.  Sharing anything you’ve made really is putting a little piece of your heart out on a platter for everyone to see and waiting to see what will happen to it.   I guess The Wanderers was extra nerve wracking because it was the first thing I wrote after telling myself I’d never go back to writing, it was kind of a make or break experiment.  Blood & Rain because of the potentially triggering material, hoping I’d touched personal subjects with enough sensitivity but also still telling the story I needed to.  

How do you choose your titles:  hahahaha WELL, I finish faffing with the main story in AO3 and then am outraged that I’m expected to have a name ready before I can post it.  Honestly though, I’ve no formula.  They all have working titles in google docs which tend to be either a vague description of what’s happening, or a song title/lyric that’s running through my head while I write.  Like, the current fic I’m working on is ‘mass pike pt 2’ which is a useless title since the part 1 was actually called Gunners & Grudges.  And I won’t know until posting day what I’m going to call it.  

I did put some serious thought into a title for my series - Then I Met You.  I was cycling through song lyrics or things that might be a general vibe for them but settled back on one line from MacCready’s final affinity chat, “then I met you”. And it just fit so well.  Meeting each other is a turning point for both of them; whether you just look at it as making a friend in the wasteland, or finding some direction after drifting for too long, or there finally being a glimmer of hope after a long time in the dark (this all counts for both of them), something changed when they met.  

Do you outline:  Sort of.  I have a massive ‘fallout notes’ document where i just jot down whenever i have an idea of something i want to write, or just random bits of dialogue that spring into my mind (that may never see the light of day again).  From there, if I want to expand them I tend to bullet point with plot ideas, more dialogue, key backstory or important things I want to cover.  I tend to have multiple fics I’m doing this with at once and I bounce between them depending on where my mind has drifted off to that day.  By the time I actually come to write something, I tend to have a lot of notes to work from, in fact quite often I have to cut back on all the ideas I wanted to cram in and some things get slotted back into the giant fallout doc for future reference.

Complete:  I only have one shots, so technically they’re all complete and can be read, for the most part, individually without you needing to have read the others.  They will make sense, there might just be some context from previous one shots in there.

In progress:  Then I Met You is an ongoing series for my Mac x Ivy one shots.

Prompts?:  I do put prompt list out there for Mac x Ivy when my brain isn’t cooperating and I feel like a need a little extra inspiration.  For the current series I’m hoarding them and working them into the context one shots I have planned.  Pretty much all my Dragon Age Origins one shots over on AO3 were prompt fills.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about:  Ugh guys we’re getting close to them getting together territory and boy do I wish my brain was being cooperative so I could get these couple of stories in between down on the page and could start working in earnest on those ones.  There’s a lazy morning in bed after a big party fic I’m really looking forward to writing (I’m looking forward to both tbh) - any excuse to explore stories behind scars and tattoos and I’m there for it.  I’m even getting a commission from the amazing @tarberrymentats  for it *discord wiggle*, so yeah, I’m excited about getting to that one!

Anyway thank you for reading my ramblings x

[veridium]

dragon age day

I know today might be a bit overwhelming for the fandom since it is, of course, the day (the day of all days). When I thought about what I wanted to contribute, if anything, I could only think of saying thanks. As I am in the midst of finals and grading assignments, I don’t have many spoons to spare, except to reiterate what I have said so many times before: dragon age has provided me with so many blessings. 

CW: discussion of toxic relationship, emotional abuse.

Some of you know that around the time I joined the fandom in 2018 (after having only played Inquisition for several months beforehand), I was in the midst of an incredibly toxic, emotionally abusive, and failing relationship. I had just graduated college and was at a crossroads. Because the relationship was the longest and most serious I had ever known I was incredibly attached to it, even as it became detrimental to my happiness. We were planning on getting engaged this past summer. Our entire lives were planned and I was in it for the long haul. 

Earlier that year my ex had gifted me Inquisition after I kept seeing it in GameStop and saying I had always wanted to try it. I played it once, got infuriated by the Hinterlands, and put it down for a long time. Around the time I finished undergrad I decided to give it another try, and quickly became hooked. I would spend hours and hours in front of the TV learning by trial and error how to play. My ex was the more prolific gamer but that quickly started to change. 

That wasn’t the only shift that was happening. 

One of the symptoms of my ex’s and her family’s toxicity and its impact on me was that I had become incredibly detached from art. I have been artistic since I was strong enough to hold a crayon in my hand. My family swore for years I’d be an artist, or an actress. But I have learned that, what all-too-often happens when you choose to love something that doesn’t love you the way you deserve in return, you lose touch with all the things that remind you of why you’re so worthy of a great love. You don’t invest in it, you don’t nourish it, because it becomes all about preserving this person in your life and what you believe they bring to it. When things turn dark the natural inclination is to sacrifice more in order to save it: to prove that you can be as loyal as your promised. 

A year later and I am still unpacking the trauma that was inflicted upon me during that time of my life, trauma I didn’t know by name as it was happening because I had given my all to someone I loved and the future we wanted. But not everything was rosey and blissful, and I am reflecting upon that. I think back to what finally woke me up, and it’s quite literally this: I turned into a huge, enthusiastic, and clumsy nerd. 

Playing a game with such a vivid world took what was perhaps one of the last surviving matchsticks there was, lighting it, and dropping it on me. My imagination consumed Thedas like water after a 40-year drought. I began theorizing characters, researching the prior games, and scrolling through the wiki site hunting for lore. I realized the universe was so much bigger than what Inquisition represented. 

Then, I bought the first sketchbook I had in over a year. 

My characters became my muse, and over time, their portraits grew into stories. I looked up Tumblr and rejoined specifically to engage with the fandom and see what sharing my love with other people could do for my creativity. Even though art and writing were lifelong passions of mine, I had no intention whatsoever of writing fanfiction until I read other people’s work, saw the fun they were having with it and what it was doing for their healing, and I decided to go out on a limb.

The more stories I wrote the more I remembered my marrow: I was so much more than what my relationship, and my partner’s family, warped me into seeing. My original characters started out as projections of the qualities and traits I loved and missed about myself, as well as love letters to the women and queer people in my life. And in the canon characters I grew attached to I saw hope and inspiration for surviving adversities. Tests of faith, conviction, and courage under pressure. In their stories I found refuge and reliability for a terrible era of my life where I felt so completely alone.

As I gave more and more time to my passions, my relationship strained even further than it had. I was no longer hopelessly devoted to its endurance, I had something that was purely mine again, and my partner’s encouragement waned. It turned into jealousy -- for this and many other parts of my life I used as an escape from the sadness -- and rather than bend as I had done before, I pushed back. I protected what was my own and I did not sacrifice it. To be fair it wasn’t always healthy: I would log hours and hours into the game to escape the stress of the relationship, to distract myself from the fact that my mental health was the lowest and frailest it had been in years, and the cold, hard truth: it was over, or else I was going to commit my life to something terrible. 

Months later, I said enough. I ended the relationship once and for all. I was moving my life out of an apartment I had lived in for years, saying goodbye to everything I had fought so hard to build. In your early 20s everything feels like a vast unknown and you have a manual with no writing on its pages. Every serious decision feels like invoking a storm you have to hunker down in. I still deal with that, and am learning from it with every new season. I have also learned that sometimes destruction, and creative recklessness, is about so much more than loss. I had given up security I was paying for with my emotional well-being. 

But I kept me, and my sketchbooks, and my art supplies, and my stories. I had my cat, too, but you know, technicalities (haha).

So, for as imperfect as my fandom experience has been, and for as grumpy as I have become with society’s bullshit (which is quite the high level), I will always be grateful to these games for existing. For giving me something to hold onto when my life was falling apart, a world I could slip away to when I wasn’t ready to face the evils in my own. Because when I was finally ready, and willing to be my own warrior, my imagination was ready to make something out of nothing. These games and this universe helped me save myself.

Thank you to Dragon Age, to the fandom community I have made in its name, and to everyone who makes it worthwhile. But it wouldn’t be me without saying: fuck off to every single bullshit game writer who used its medium to perpetuate harmful tropes and norms, fuck off to fandom racists and racist apologists, to queerphobes who hated my meta on account of it using the word queer even though it was my explicit voice as a queer creative on queer issues (did I forget to say queer? queer!), to Vivienne haters, sexist gamer bros, fetishists; but explicitly to romanticizers of unhealthy power dynamics between couples and friends alike. These horror stories (yes, horror stories) exist enough in real life, take it from me. We don’t need them made into romanticized, co-opted, and misused fictions here. 

The reason why I and so many others write for this universe, and participate creatively, is to combat these influences. With our own blood, sweat, and tears as artists, might I add. I am so, so proud to be included in that community. 

So, happy Dragon Age Day, ya’ll. Let us keep warm on this, our trash can fire. 

[saieras]

I was tagged by the newly-renamed @soybean-official

Rules: answer the questions about yourself and then tag people you wanna know better!

Name: My pen name is Areias which is incidentally a district in Sao Paolo but I didn’t know that when I made this up!

Nickname: P, or Pat

Age: Too damn old

Gender: Guy

Orientation: Gay

Height: 175cm sorry non-metric-users y’all on your own!

Favorite colors: Somewhere between blue and grey

Book Recommendations: Airborn trilogy by Kenneth Oppel; they are a steampunk swashbuckling Victorian/Edwardian era adventure novels with airships and lots of action. They remain my favorite YA books and highly recommended.

Other than that, the Temeraire series by Naomi Novik outlines the Napoleonic Wars but with each country fielding an air force of dragons and their riders. Badass, amazingly written, and with very believable periodic/historic dialogue! Also the dragons have cute personalities.

Movie Recommendations: sorry this turned out to be so long

Live action:

Contagion; a very realistic sci-fi thriller with an amazing cast, about a massive pandemic outbreak.

Notes on a Scandal; this is also a thriller about a very creepy and manipulative old teacher (played phenomenally by Judi Dench) and her friendship with a younger colleague (played by Cate Blanchett) who has a romantic relationship with one of her students.

Land of Mine; an unconventional war film told from the perspective of German prisoners of war after WWII, many of whom were boys, forced by the Allied government after the war to manually clear landmines from miles and miles of coast.

On a lighter note, if you’re on this blog, chances are you’re a fan of the MCU! Iron Man 1, CACW, and SMHC are my favorites :)

Animated:

Song of the Sea, an Irish animated movie that really has a unique and fable-like animation style.

Patema Inverted (Sakasama no Patema); it has an awesome premise and is gorgeously animated, and I like the characters!

Your Name (Kimi no Na Wa); this probably needs no explanation but I adore the premise and the animation as well. The voice acting is also on point!

Other than these, most things by Hayao Miyazaki or Pixar, and some by Disney are quite good.

TV Recommendations: Game of Thrones, A Handmaid’s Tale, and an old but fantastic X-files-like series Fringe! I always loved the opening sequence.

Music Recommendations: As a genre I love instrumental music so from that category Two Steps From Hell is at the top of the list.

For lyrical music, I tend to like a particular song instead of an artist, but One Republic, the Fray, and Green Day get shout outs.

Game Recommendations: A category I added because I love games! Anyway, The Long Dark, This War of Mine, The Banner Saga, Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun.

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate? Tea, but my go-to drink is milk.

Cats or dogs? Dogs, but my own personality is like a cat so maybe I just need some extroverted animal to love me.

Favorite meme?

I     I i

I I   I _

Because it’s a super old meme but keeps coming back from time to time in the least expected way and it’s great

Goals for 2018: Pass the board exam, generally stay on top of my shit, finish 2 outstanding fanfics I left on hiatus.

I want to live long enough to witness: a supernova, interstellar travel, for NASA to explore Europa and Ganymede (and possibly find alien lifeforms!), organ cloning and targeted immune therapy with nanobots

Weird obsessions: I’m not sure what constitutes as weird tbh

How many sideblogs? None

Random fact about me: I am a faulty perfectionist; I want to do everything perfectly but that means 90% planning and 10% doing and in the end I run out of time so I end up with something I’m not satisfied with. I’m still learning to deal with it!

Thank you once again for the tag, this has been fun :)

Idk who to tag really because I’m kinda new to tumblr but uh, @the-claire-bitch-project and @my-babies-are-ash because I see you guys on my dash a lot and you both have great blogs!!! Also @lafayette1777 and @doctortwelfth because I love your angst fics like omg that is a level of written perfection I want to achieve

[humblydefiant]

I was tagged by @self-absorbed-pretty-boy Thanks! (and I’m sorry this too me sooo long to do) Though I give you fair warning. I can never give simple answers. You may regret the tag. LOL

1. coke or pepsi: coke (oh, well that was simple)

2. disney or dreamworks: either really, though if going by sheer number of good movies I’d say disney

3. coffee or tea: tea - in fact I’m that stereotypical southerner you’ve heard about (if you live in the U.S. that is) that loves sweet tea. Though I’ve tried to stop drinking it so much. I don’t like coffee.

4. books or movies: theoretically books... though I don’t read very much. Weird, I know

5. windows or mac: Windows, though I can’t say I’m a fan.

6. dc or marvel: I guess Marvel. All the ones that I can think of that I like are mostly Marvel characters. I don’t really pay that much attention though.

7. x-box or playstation: Playstation! Did I mention I think windows sucks so kinda steer clear of their console. 

8. dragon age or mass effect: Slightly Mass Effect. I LOVE Dragon Age. In fact, I loved it before I had even played ME. But considering that all of the writing I do (I make it sound like its a lot) is ME and that ME has mshenko. Yeah. ME. Definitely. And now Andromeda!!!

9. night owl or early riser: Used to be night owl but the older I get the better my bed looks earlier in the eve

10. cards or chess: cards. I’m not tactical enough for chess.

11. chocolate or vanilla: CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s my life basically.

12. vans or converse: Neither. I’m a New Balance kind of guy. They actually make some of their shoes here in the States so I’m loyal.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: Well, soooooo... I haven’t played Dragon Age Inquisition yet. I just recently got a PS4 (so I can play Andromeda) but it’s definitely on my radar. I’m coming for your Dorian... you just keep your pretty ass right where it is.

14. fluff or angst: Fluff, angst, smut... I love it all! Just give it to me baby

15. beach or forest: I live in the forest so, yeah, that one. But I love the beach too

16. dogs or cats: I love both though I’d say I’m a smidge bit more attached to cats. However, can’t have a cat any more cause hubby says no. :(

17. clear skies or rain: Clear skies. It makes me feel better. Unless I can stay inside and snooze while listening to the rain.

18. cooking or eating out: Er... either. Both. I don’t love cooking but I don’t hate it. And it saves money.

19. spicy food or mild food: Mild. I like to be able to taste my food. And not feel like I need to drink a fire hydrant.

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Halloween is fun but can I just make a confession: I hate trying to put together a costume. It’s like stressful. But I LOVE Christmas (though it carries its own special stress to). Nothing like a roaring fire while staring at the tree.

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Too cold. I despise being hot. 

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: Being invisible. That would be sooooo much fun.

23. animation or live action: I dunno. Is the story good? Otherwise I don’t care.

24. paragon or renegade: Paragon. I try to play Renegade. I really do. It’s so hard tho.

25. baths or showers: Showers

26. team cap or team ironman: Meh. Either is fine. I enjoy both. Ironman makes me laugh but he was kind of a dick in that movie.

27. fantasy or sci-fi: See question 23.

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: I guess so, but can’t really think of any right now

29. youtube or netflix: Netflix. No contest.

30. harry potter or percyjackson: Have never seen/read Percy Jackson, so Harry.

31. when you feel accomplished: I haven’t felt that yet...

32. star wars or star trek: Both?

33. paperback books or hardback books: E-books

34. horror or rom-com: Again, if they are good I am game. Though I’m not a big fan of either genre on the whole. Oh, what about a horror rom-com.

35. tv shows or movies: I love both. Though a really great tv show has so much more, so I guess there is that

36. favorite animal: I don’t really know. Crap, I’m failing this test.

37. favorite genre of music: Pop. I’m so vanilla.

38. least favorite book: Anything by Anne Rice 

39. favourite season: If I had to pick, I’d way Winter

40. song that’s currently stuck in your head: It changes moment to moment, no single song right now, thank god

41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear: just my undies

42. How many existential crises do you have on an average day: I try to limit them to 3 per week

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be: Angel by Sarah McLachlan

44. Favourite theme song to a TV show: Aww geez there are some really great ones. But I will go with Sense8

45. Harry Potter movies or books: I... ahem... haven’t read many of the books. so movies

46. You can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. Will you do it? Nah. I like tumblr though I know it has its problems. But I’ve met so many great people on here. Plus, I don’t want to force my ship on others so...

47. What are your favourite flowers? Oh wow. I like have so little botanical knowledge. I just like colorful ones.

48. Is there a language you really want to learn? Spanish and German

my question 49. if you could save one species from extinction, which one would you choose? Bees. I would say humans but the earth would probably be better off without us.

I’m too tired and lazy right now to tag anyone. So it is open season!

[speaknowslut13]

Lauren my beloved! Sorry I missed yesterday, my life is chaos and also I was out of data haha.

Ohh very fun! I feel like kids that age are fun because their personalities are really starting to develop.

Awesome! I’ve also played flute since 5th grade and then I played piccolo in marching band all through college. I miss playing in groups, and I’m really hoping that’ll be possible again soon! You are to drums as I am to singing lmfao I was almost kicked out of choir in high school bc I canNOT carry a tune. What other instruments do you want to learn?

I love channels like that! That and cooking channels are the majority of my subscribed to haha so if you ever decide to start a YouTube, I will certainly be on your subscribers list. Understandable, Tiktok stresses me outtttt lol I go on from time to time bc my sister always sends me a bunch but then I have to delete the app again.

Awwwwwe oh my gosh, that’s so cute!! 🥺🥺 what was your wedding like? (Though I never plan on getting married myself, I loveeeeee weddings hehe) what kind of stuff do you like to do together?

Omggg what an incredible experience for rep tour! Tumblr during rep tour was one of my favorite times ever on tumblr, like so exciting to get clips of the b stage songs and see peoples posts about meeting her! What other concerts have you been too?

I’m hoping to visit Croatia at the end of august, if everything goes according to plan/covid doesn’t once again wreck my plans. I grew up in the northwestern US, and there people joke that the seasons are “fire season, road construction, winter” and winters are regularly so much snow, windy, and -20°, so not ideal conditions for enjoying them. Have you been to Grand Canyon or any of the other national parks in the southwest? They all look so beautiful, that’s one part of the US I would definitely like to see more of.

Thank you!! I’m really excited to be a student again but I am also really glad I took some time off. I enjoy Dostoevsky! Probably not my all time favorite, but my best friend loves him so I’ve read a lot of his stuff and talk about it a lot. Also a big fan of Byron and I have a love/hate relationship with Shakespeare. My favorite poet is ee cummings, I love Cynthia Kadohata, huge Neil Gaiman fan. And many many others haha but off the top of my head let’s go with that 😅

What do you write about? And in what medium? I write a lot of poetry and I like writing non fiction, but I learned in college that I am NOT a fiction writer hahaha.

What have you been up to this weekend?? I hope you’ve had a lovely day 💖 Drew

ps: I love reading your responses! Please don’t feel bad or stressed about writing a lot ✨✨

Hello, Drew! Chaos feels like the natural order of the world lately. It’s fine if you miss a day or two! I understand.

I actually never really wanted to be married myself. I figured if I did, I’d be at least 30. I wanted to get school done first. Then, after my previous relationship, I decided I wanted to be alone. Fate had different plans. I also wasn’t sure I wanted kids. Changed my mind. However one is plenty. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone invalidates a person’s choices by saying “oh you’ll change your mind”. So even though I changed mine, I won’t be implying or outright denying that you don’t know your own mind.

My wedding was small. We eloped. It was a complicated situation with his family at the time, and we had decided to have the protection of a legal document since we were living together anyway. We picked randomly picked the day. Turned out to be Valentine’s Day. So, I, along with millions of other people, got married at a court house. In fact, someone was wearing my same dress that day! It was awkward. We have yet to have any celebration outside of that day. It was just my immediate family. However, I’ve never regretted marrying him and I still look back fondly on it. Fun fact: his parents found out we were married after we totaled their truck a few months later. Not so fun fact: that was the scariest accident I’ve been in to date. Accident wasn’t our fault and at least in this accident I had airbags. Ever been in an accident? Or in one without modern crash technology? It’s not very fun. Hurts a lot. I remember having to tell my father in law, on the side of the road, that Chase and I had actually gotten married. He was stunned but super supportive. Like I previously said, it was complicated . And I can get into it more, but there’s so much else to address right now!

We really like sitting in silence on our phones together! 😂 We are one of those annoying couples who like to do everything together. We are practically attached at the hip and the pandemic has only made it worse. He’s really interested in getting into D&D. We like playing video games together. We both love swimming. We both really want to travel. I’d love to take him to Europe. We like movies. But we both compliment our different likes and knowledge. He loves animated movies and animes and I love books. We both love art. He’s so good. He lets me do his makeup and nails from time to time. It doesn’t bother him at all. But not only that he’s really helpful at making sure I get my medicines and that I get rest when I need it. Throughout the lockdown he’d do all the running around so I wouldn’t have to go out since I’m immuno compromised. Sometimes I feel like he’s too good to me and the kid. I try to give back what I can. But honestly, he’s my best friend too.

Ahem. Enough gushing.

Other than some musicals and local symphonies, I’ve never been to any other concerts! Weird. I know! I’ve wanted to but never have. I’ve always wanted to see Imagine Dragons. Or Panic! at the Disco. There’s a few artists actually, I’d love to go see.

Croatia is BEAUTIFUL. My time in Europe was 2 weeks during July. I’m in love with it. If you go, Rijeka is wonderful. But near Rijeka is a mountain town called Fužine. It’s MAGICAL. I spent most of my time there. One of the upsides to staying in Rijeka is that it’s just a few hours away from Venice, too. Which. Was also breathtaking. I cried at the beauty of it. I have pictures of these places and I love looking at them. But they also make me a little sad. For multiple reasons. We had a layover in Munich on our way home and so we spent two days there as well. We drove up to the Neuschwanstein castle. It was amazing. But the most harrowing part of that stop was at the site of Dachau. I will never forget the heaviness of it. I had to stop halfway through. It was too much for my sensitivity. A privilege I will never forget.

I was able to visit Idaho (Rexburg) during October and December one year and I loved it. I’ve only ever been to Washington (coastal) and Oregon during the summer months. I wanted to go to school in Washington, originally. Thought I’d move up there. Now the goal is to ultimately expat. Canada, likely. We will see if that ever pans out, though.

I’ve been to the Grand Canyon once when I was 10 or 11(?). We went during December to ride the “Polar Express”. It’s a special event they run during the winter months before Christmas. We were snowed in so we stayed an extra day and took the train to the Grand Canyon. So I got to see it all snowy and clear. It’s gorgeous and I highly recommend it once. I don’t know if I would ever really go back but I might take the kid someday. I at least want her to go on the Polar Express ride. It’s cute and fun for the kids. I was a little too old to fully enjoy it, but my little sister was roughly the right age.

I’ve been to several places in Arizona. The missions, Jerome, and I’ve also been to some places in Colorado and New Mexico. I can’t recall all their names off the top of my head and it was a long time ago.

I greatly appreciate anyone who can write poetry. It is not my forte. They come out childish and awkward. So, I keep those to myself. I write anything and everything. I have several stories, but three top priority right now. One is complete but needs serious reworking and revision. I started it when I was 15. It’s a paranormal mystery with romance. The second one is a fantasy that I started with a friend when I was 14/15. It has its own world and has taken on a life of its own since then. It’s massive. And the third one is a coming of age story. It’s my most delicate one. I started it when I was 21. I have shared an excerpt on tumblr of this one. It’s my most complicated one yet. Like any artist, I’m constantly second guessing my work and lamenting my talent.

This weekend has been mostly spent recharging. I’ve been helping my mom with a project. And of course swimming. I’m a child at heart and I bought myself a mermaid tail. I’ve elevated my pool game. It’s so much fun but my body is yelling at me. I’m not as energetic as I was in my youth. You mentioned marching band? You and I really do have much in common! Not only are you a flautist, but a marching one at that?! I marched in high for two years. I loved it but I started to get burned out. And then I started horseback riding and planned to do that instead. My parents couldn’t afford to do both. And then I caught mono. Looking back, I understand why my mono knocked me out for so long (it’s linked to my autoimmune issues) but at the time every one of my friends thought I was being dramatic. It was kind of a horrible experience. So even if I had signed up for band my junior year, I would’ve had to quit. And then my senior year I signed up for this program that put me through a college program to get my EMT-B. I didn’t take band at all that year. Now I just play for myself. Ideally I’d learn every instrument.

I actually couldn’t sing very well for the longest time. Which was ironic because my mom was operatically trained. My older sister was also trained. And my little sister preferred chorus to band. I ended up teaching myself later. So now I don’t sound terrible but I’m not going to take my solo act on the road anytime soon.

If I can teach myself makeup, art, instruments, and other various things, then maybe I can also someday be brave enough to put myself out there on the internet. And if I do, I will definitely let you know! I will at least have 3 subscribers. 😂

Tell me about this trip you’re planning to Croatia!