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binniesthighs · 4 years ago

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eehee here it is the long awaited results of my chaotic ass survey about our hornies it’s so long holy heck, but I have seperated it into a couple sections to make sense of it all (omg if you read all of it lemme give you a kith teehee) ahhhh lol its SO nerdy haha but i hope that ya enjoy nonetheless! ✨

In this essay, I will....(hahah jk jk this is just all for fun)

1. Demographics Analysis

2. Polls on Fic Content

3. Member Specific Analysis

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (Confessions)

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle

*Unpopular opinions will be made into their own post to give them ample space and analysis!

Other Notes:

Out of 100 individuals surveyed, 44 were readers, 2 were only writers, and 54 were both readers and writers.

Statistical significance can be effected by sampling, selection, and response bias (yeah i took a stats class teehee) and personal biases

All the the opinions and other analysis presented by me (Ro/binniesthighs) are purely my own oponion and are not factual. you are entitled to interpret all of this information however you like! Anything that i analyze is not definitive!

while this survey is mostly about stay smutblr, i hope that it can also maybe serve as a template for other fandoms as well with the more general questions! this is a survey for everyone!

i’d love to hear about what you think about anything presented in this analysis! feel free to send me an ask or comment! reposting is permitted within tumblr or on other platforms if proper credit is given! ❤️ (uwu hehe if you could please help me spread this i would appreciate it so much! i worked really hard on her 🥺)

1. Demographics Analysis:

Gender Identities of those Surveyed

~My thoughts: this really came as no surprise to me considering how the majority of kpop fans (especially boy group fans) identify as female! Seeing as I am a Stray Kids/Seventeen blog (both of them boy groups) it makes sense to me that my readers would mostly identify as female!

Another important thing to note (from a writer standpoint at least) is the wide array of identities that we still have present within the general audience of stay smut blur (SSB)! I’ll get into this later when i discuss favorite pairings to read, however i think that this gives us one more reason to write for a diverse audience of readers who can identify with different types of self-insert fics!

Top Five:

Female (81%)

Non-binary/gender non-conforming (13%)

Changes by the day (6%)

Male (4%)

Demiboy/Demigirl (3%)

Sexual Orientation of those Surveyed

Other identities mentioned:

????, unlabeled, aromatic bisexual, bicurious, demisexual, “just liking who i like”, experimenting, heteroflexible, sapiosexual, depends day by day, “i just like anyone”

~My thoughts: okkkkk i see us gays of SSB 😏 these demographics were really exciting for me to see! i think that it’s super cool that we have such representation across the board when it comes to sexual orientations present in our community! As someone who personally identifies as pan, this was super comforting to see that there are so many others like me in this little space of the internet! I think it’s safe to say at least from my lil survey that all the bi cuties out here own SSB 💗💜💙

From a literal standpoint, it also makes sense to me that heterosexuality is strongly present as well considering that often the pairs that we read are male idol x female reader so this is the perfect niche!

Top Five:

Bisexual (40.8%)

Heterosexual (26.5)

Pansexual (17.3%)

Queer (7.1%)

Asexual (4.1%)

Stay Creators!!

~My thoughts: this one i was THRILLED at seeing oml hahaha and i was so interested to see that this was nearly an even split!

I think that there’s something to be said about how sometimes we can take our hobbies: (movies, videogames, books, kpop, anime etc)--all things which we really like in totally normal and healthy ways but also kinda like....get hornies about them too? if that makes sense? for example, i have a friend who really likes certain video games/characters from these games as a fan and he’s shared with me that he also doesn’t mind watching porn containing those same characters! (ahahah ya all know what i mean don’t even lie haha)

what this question proved to me as that there are stays out there who practice “being a stay/being a stay creator” who also are interested in the more...horny side of this hobby/interest 😂

what is even more interesting to me is who i wonder if i’ve have consumed any of ya’ll’s content while you have consumed mine??? this i am DYING to know aha but it think its best for all of us to stay anonymous teehee ;)

either way, good on ya for doing what ya do!! you are so so treasured in this community too!! <3

2. Polls on Fic Content (a long section lol)

Favorite Pairing to Read

*other options selected were rankings of favorite pairings so i just added each of them as an entry to the respective category mentioned.��

Top Five:

Idol x female reader (69%)

Idol x gender neutral reader (19%)

Idol x reader x Idol (poly r/ship) (14%)

Idol x reader, Idol x reader (threesome, not much interaction between the two idols) (8%)

~My thoughts: once again, this category was pretty self explanatory to me considering that the majority of readers are female identifying, so it would make sense that they would prefer to read smut that aligns with their identity! This is also super present anyway of SSB as i do feel like the majority of writing pieces that I do come along are idol x female reader, and most authors too often disclaim that they are the most comfortable writing this type of pairing as well.

What’s signficant as well is the interest in reading fics with gender neutral reader self inserts as well! this is my personal philosophy when it comes to writing (specifically with requests) but i think that writing gn!reader is always the safest bet to go as to not make assumptions about readers! for writers i think that seeing this 19% is something important to take into consideration!

An outlier to me with this demographic was the “poly r-ship” poll garnering a notable 14% in comparison to the idol x idol option which got 10 less votes (4%). what is a little confusing to me about this is how poly r/ships often (but not always) contain idol x idol content, however there is discrepancy with the amount of readers outright saying that they enjoy reading it alone. I’ll get into poly fics later with the unpopular opinions section--however i wanted to plant the seed here hehe. One other caveat to this is the fact that on SSB i feel like idol x idol content is really in the minority and is much more present on a platform like AO3 so this could be another explaination!

What is kinda cute to me is the fact that readers do really like poly r-ship dynamics more than a threesome (as i defined it, “with less interaction”) so this makes me feel like we are all saps for the fluff that comes with poly r-ship fics ;)

Favorite Kind of Smut to Read

male idol smut (67%)

i read both! (female and male idol smut) (25%)

depends on my mood (7%)

female idol smut (1%)

~My thoughts: Again, this is super expected to me as well considering the above statistics. Since i am a skz blog (a boy group) --as are my moots-- it really makes sense that those who filled out this survey would be into male idol smut!

what was cool for me to see as well was the number of readers who also read female idol smut as well as male idol smut! personally, i more predominately a fan of boy groups compared to the amount of girl group content that I consume (note: i do also consume gg content). because of this, i think that its really up to personal preferences and the content that you consume that can be reflective of the smut content that you consume as well and ya know, whoever gets your hornies going ;)

Favorite Genres...Ranked!

*so this was my fault lol i totally formatted this question poorly in google forms so i’ll try to summarize the most popular rankings with my words haha

*bc of the way that i miffed it (lol) i wasn’t able to get exact measurements, but rough ones!

Top Five:

Smut, fluff, angst

smut n’ fluff (with specific emphasis angst is not desired)

smut, angst, fluff,

fluff, smut, angst,

angst, fluff, smut

~My thoughts: by far, the most popular ranking that i saw was as follows: smut, fluff, angst. i saw this sososos many times haha also...ya’ll got really creative with your rankings and it made me giggle hehe. So! seeing as this is stay smutblr haha makes total sense that the three most popular rankings that we have were lead by smut! since we’re here for the hornies, i totally get this.

as for the “smut n’ fluff” or “fluffy smut” category, there was a decent amount of readers that expressed that this mixture is their fave! i’m kinda looping this with the “mixture” option that i also provided for this question since this was the most popular mixture that i was able to observe along with angst + smut. interestingly, i saw a couple mentions of “hurt/comfort” fics with this question too so this went well with this preference. as for number three on this list, we dip into that smut + angst category that I just mentioned as well. there were several individuals who said that they really really enjoy reading smut with angst!

lastly we get to the four and five on the list: four being fluff, smut and angst. i think this category can also properly represent the folx who tend to like more fluffy fics over the smutty ones, but that can also have suggestive themes too! in five, we have angst, fluff and smut which also is representative of another theme that i saw: as far as plot goes, several people mentioned that they liked fics that start with angst, get fluffier, and then end up in smut, so i think that this could be easily compared!

*there were also several readers who simply said “all of them” or opted not to rank, (lol me) so this really shows the variability in results!

Cute stuff ya’ll said (kind of out of context too LOL)

“... hehE I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE.”

“...I KNOW IT [my ranking] LOOKS TERRIBLY SPECIFIC AND IM SO SORRY and I guess the better way to describe that was one that has all 3 with a happy ending lol my b my b.”

“ ...it just depends on the mood my dude.”

“... (the smut doesn’t have to be soft i just want the relationship to be soft and i want aftercare and general affection).”

“(but almost no angst oops)”

“angst honestly makes me so sad.”

“... but long fics with angst and slow burn smut/fluff is just WOW.”

“ my favourite thing is when it's fluffy smut tbh with a little bit of angsty backstory. that is *chefs kiss*”

“(I'm a sucker for good angsty fics but I cant seem to find them???)”

“Smut, Fluff, Angst (I tend to be a bit of a purist so no mixture here).”

“(i can't read pure angst lol) “

“(I love how much plot there is in angsty fics but I personally can't read anything without a happy ending, i just can't take it)”

“ i literally couldn't rank them bc my mood is always changing lmaooo.”

“ smut, fluff, angst. i know what i’m about.”

Favorite Length of Fics

Top Five:

5k-8k words (27%)

2k-4k words (25%)

1k-2k words (20%)

10k-20k words (15%)

20k words (12%)

~My thoughts: this one was super helpful for me to see!! and writers i hope that this is helpful for you too! as someone who tends to rambles (lol) it was very comforting for me to see that long-ish fics are actually preferred! what is really cool about this data too is that it is all super well balanced for the most part and nearly edqual in some parts! how i see this, i think that when it comes to preferences of length, its really reader specific so anyone could like anything! this goes into a little bit the slow burn question that i asked as well too, but it’s really cool to see that when readers do read, they kinda like something to sink their teeth into!

i wanted to look into how long it takes you to read these words, and it appears that on average, a 5-8k fic can take someone 30 mins to read whereas a 2-4k fic takes about 15mins! idk if this says something about attention spans, but as a writer it warms my heart to know that you’re willing to spend 30 minutes of your time reading something that i wrote! 🥺

another thing i wanted to bring up is the “hard and fast” smut readers--those who like to get straight to the point, get right to business and to the juice! they are also a decently large group too! as for readers who like a nice long fic or a chaptered fic, they are super close in numbers! from this, it’s safe for me to assume that maybe those who like reading longer fics are more inclined to strap in for the long haul with chaptered fics too!

Favorite AUs to Read

*the top category that got cut off (thank you google forms lol) is friends to lovers! the one that says “...love” at 48% is enemies to lovers, and the one that has a blanked out title at 35% is strangers to lovers!

Top Five:

friends to lovers (65%)

enemies to lovers (48%)

high school/college au (40%)

roommates/neighbors to lovers (38%)

strangers to lovers (35%)

Other AUs mentioned by you!

office au, royal au, vampire au, fake date, idol au, slice of life, boarding school au, childhood friends, soulmate au

~My thoughts: ok ok so this was RAD to see! i often wonder myself the kinds of aus that my readers would like to see so this was really helpful! circling back on how readers tend to favor fluff n’ smut (friends to lovers) and angst n’ smut (enemies to lovers) i think that we’re seeing some more themes here teehee.

i like to think that since most of us are of the college age, the college au is super relatable therefore we really like to read it! not to mention that college and high school au’s are super duper cute as well! this is also relatable to the roommates/neighbors to lovers category which is also relatable to us who may or may not have experienced having a roommate or crush on the cutie next door ;) as a couple readers mentioned, they liked more “slice of life” au’s--which both of these categories fall into! i think we as readers like scenarios that feel the most real to us, bc they are the easiest to insert ourselves into :)

fantasy and thriller, action, more “fiction” tropes are in the minority, however i think that this can be for the exact same reason as i mentioned above where readers like more relatable scenarios.

Opinions on Slow Burn Fics

~My thoughts: during polling of this category, this pie cart stayed basically the same the whole time!! that was pretty cute to see! the important take aways from this survey for me is the fact that slow burn fics are generally really loved! again, lol as someone who writes big ol’ long slow burn fics this made me feel a lot better hahaha basically, the general consensus is that slow burn fics are welcome most of the time, however some readers might need to invest a little more time into them! this is also very easily comparable to the above statistics on the length of fics preferred (longer ones being the ones more popular) so here’s a lil more supporting evidence!

3. Member Specific Analysis

Bias Survey

Top Five:

Chan (19%)

Changbin (18%)

Hyunjin (16%)

Jisung (15%)

Minho (14%)

~My thoughts: ok ok ok so this is where it starts getting JUICY hehe (also i apologize once more for making you pick LOL)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if there was a correlation with biases and if there was a probability that members who had more people biasing them (or popularity I guess) were more likely to be read more in smut fics! AND I WAS RIGHT haha isn’t this so fkn cool??? (see more in the next section!)

for comparison, i went to kprofiles to see their little survey on bias popularity and their top five.

Kprofiles Top Five:

Hyunjin (15%)

Felix (14%)

Chan (12%)

Minho (11%)

Jisung (11%)

SO oh my god my nerd brain is loosing it over this REE so, what i should note that is those who took this survey on my blog are likely generally different based off of the fact that they are here to read smut specifically, rather than the general holistic popularity survey. It is for this reason that we see Felix much higher on this list and Changbin much lower too (as we know Felix is really well known generally and globally and there are *generally* fewer Bin biased fans). What was really interesting to see what that with Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho, they still all stayed within the top five! Soooo what i’m saying is.... all of you Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho fans really must like your smut 😏 and I think that it’s safe to assume that the majority of hard stans come from these four members too ooP (and of course our Binnie too! ;) i see all of ya’ll 👀)

Members That Get Our Hornies Going

~My thoughts: AHH DOESN’T THIS LOOK SO SATISFYING? I’M SO PROUD OF HER!!!

First off, i would like to acknowledge the all mighty power of Bang Christopher Chan for pooling this most hornies god DAMN while i kind of expected this, it is also evidenced in the fics that i write! recently i’ve been tracking the number of notes that my Chan hard thoughts get in comparison to other members and the differences are usually ASTRONOMICAL. He is most def the most popular member for smut for several different reasons, lowkey bc i think that it’s kind of part of his brand?? hahaha if ya know what i mean?

As for preference from Minho on, we can see a super obvious trend that as age order decreases, we get less and less interest for reading for the member. I’m fairly inclined to believe that this has to do with the fact that most often fans (especially fans older than skz) have a harder time seeing the younger members in a sexual way, so the lack of interest totally makes sense here! As referenced above too, we found that the oldest five members (Chan --> Jisung) are the favorites for smut reading which we can see here as well when the numbers really drop after Felix (Felix coming in at 6th place on my “popularity” survey).

Bc of these statistics, i do really feel like as a reader, i tend to see much, much more fics involving our top five! As for Seungmin and Jeongin, I’ve also seen people state that they do not read or write content for these two members bc they do not feel as comfortable, so this can also explain the lack of content. Also as we have heard many times, Jeongin is a bit of a hot topic lol within the SSB community, so this makes sense that his readership would be low as well.

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (aka confessions)

Is the fact that you read smut a seggsy secret?

~My thoughts: JUICE TIME JUICE TIME

Before I say anything, i wanted to tell you all how all of the juicy questions were totally optional, but i got 100% participation for every single one of them which if find HILARIOUS i guess you all are just as curious as i am?? ;)

So! for this question, we have an overwhelming amount of readers who said that only their closest friends know which is so cute to me! i love how we can trust our friends with this hehe. i also fall into this category bc like, it’s lowkey kinda fun to talk about? maybe also the fact that i run a smut acct makes me care a little less about it all hahah

secondly, we have the rather large group of people who said that they wouldn’t dare to tell anyone which is also sooo cute haha idk how to explain it but this was the category that i started out in too until i found the right people! But i totally get ya, reading smut--especially-- kpop smut-- can be embarrassing or cringey to share (not to mention that it is somewhat morally grey LOL) so this is really understandable!

also my fkn hats off to all of you who said that you didn’t care about who knows that you read smut. here, you dropped this: 👑 you’re much braver than i could ever be.

When you read smut, do you really feel the hornies?

~My thoughts: ok, so this one to me was also very interesting for me to see as well! (also if you get uncomfy reading about personal masturbation habits you can skip this one lol)

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if people “get off” by reading smut (whether reading it turns you on, or if you choose to use it for “material” to get off on however this might look, might be more of a mental simulation without any real like, physical getting off) candidly, I use smut to get myself off every once and a while, so i wanted to see who else might be in the same group! since becoming a writer however, i read much less and reading it doesn’t hit the same when i was just a reader bc i have a different perspective of being the one writing the smut so i look at it more analytically--i digress.

it was exciting (teehee get the pun?) for me to see that others also “get off” on smut too--and that they are the majority! teehee it is an honor for me to provide you with the hornies LOL. at the same time, we still have a large group in the “don’t take to seriously” category which was interesting to me too! i can’t speak for these readers, but i interpreted these kind of readers to be the kind who read smut to imagine the scenes and are like “hm, that’s hot, i like thinking about this.” but it doesn’t extend much outside of these thoughts.

What is the most popular position pairing we like to read?

*smaller slices of the pie represent multiple favorites which i also seperated back into the categories corresponding to get the best count into what was the most preferred.

Actual Breakdown:

dom!idol // sub!reader (51 votes)

switch!idol // switch!reader (32 votes)

subidol! // dom!reader (11 votes)

all of the above (5 votes)

depends on my mood (2 votes)

~My thoughts: i feel as if there is a bit of a conflict between which position really is “the best” and while we really can’t know the answer to this question since everyone has different preferences, we can at least find out which one is the most popular to be consumed!

again, going off of the content that I also see as a reader, i see TONS of dom!idol fics, like, left and right. also, if i may come for all of our necks, 👀 but...there’s really something to be said about the fact that the majority of readers are female and historically and socially, women are typically socialized to be submissive, so i can see why this would be why we would favor this among fics--this is even further evidenced by the fact that male idol smut is also preferred, thus further perpetuating the fact that women have been socialized to be submissive to men specifically. i’m not saying that this is the end all be all reason that this trend is present, but i merely offer it as a possible explaination. this is a much larger sociological conversation, but i think that this trend also showed itself in the types of smut that readers seek out as well--according to demographics.

sub!idol fics are few and far in-between, and i think that this can also be for the exact same reason as i talked about above!

When you read smut, do you pick faves to read for?

~My thoughts: what’s cool about this question is the fact that the “half and half” nature of it also resembles what we saw in the section for favorite members to read! As we see in that chart, 41 out of 100 people said that they read everyone, similar to this question where 48 out of 100 people said that they read for everyone. What this proves to me once more is that when it comes for reading fics, there's a 50/50 chance that the reader will look at, and read it based off of who it is about alone. This is a really powerful statistic, meaning that the members who that a writer might write for really dictates their readership! At the same time, it’s super comforting to know that regardless of what you as a writer might write, there’s always someone out there who is willing to read it! (as evidenced by the 52% of people who read for anyone! this is still a large number)

Readers: Do you only use Tumblr for smut?

~My thoughts: when i first started out reading smut, i was in the “i just look up skz smut” group LOL so i wanted to see again if there was anyone like me--which there is! This was more of my interest in seeing if some people view tumblr as “their smut dealer” AHA so that my initial motivation. I was surprised to see that this is not the case! out of 100 readers, 39 of them have their own non-smut blogs and the second largest group of 26 people use tumblr for smut exclusively.

idk why, but when thinking of this question, it really got me thinking back to the question where i asked if reading smut is a seggsy secret, and there was the group of people who said that it is for them--i’m assuming that these people might be part of the group have non-smut blogs and read on the side teehee.

at the same time, there is a combined 40 people who said that they use tumblr for smut purposes only which makes sense to me, as those who filled out my survey are readers of my smut blog if you catch my drift haha

Writers: Do you read smut, or just write it?

*56 responses correlate with those polled who identified as writers/both as mentioned above

~My thoughts: this survey is really really cute for me to see bc it means that there is a whole support network or writers out there reading, supporting and here to hype other writers work!! if anything, as a writer because it takes so much time to write, it can become hard to find time to read, hence the “when i have time option lollll (*cough cough* me LOL) thank you all for your honesty with this question!

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion

Survey on Exposure

~My thoughts: i kinda wanna close off this survey by getting on my soapbox for a sec lol. At least for me, the most common ways that readers found my blog were: looking up a tag, and from a repost. i think that this really goes to show the power of exposure and certain tactics that you can use to increate readership of your account! new readers, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out, tagging your stuff is so so important!

also, as i have said and so so, many other content creators have said countless times before, reposting is so crucial and it takes little to no effort to repost a creators work so that it might reach others! as a writers, we spend hours, and i mean hours creating content, editing, drafting, creating headers all out own time to publish something that we are proud of and for you to enjoy! it means the world to authors when you reblog their work and even more when you give feedback too because this is our passion! we write for free in the middle of our busy lives so the validation makes it all worth it!!

Conclusion

~phew! so that’s it! once again, i wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart from participating in this lil study! i really hope that it is helpful to writers and readers alike! i wanna give ya all the biiiiiigest Ro huggies!! 💕💕

as i mentioned above, the answers for the unpopular opinions will be made into their own post bc there is a ton of them and i didn’t want to clutter up this doc lol

don’t ya ever forget that you are important, loved, and special! happy hornies my cuties ;)

~R 🌹

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle (and hopefully makes you giggle too)

~you all are the light of my life!! each of these comments brought me so much happiness and i love you all so fkn much for that!! also, to those of you who said, “Ro date me” PLZ haha i will date you too!!! too all of the super sweet comments about my writing, thank you so so very much and thank you for reading! it means so much to me!! to all of the i love yous, ahhhh i love you toooooo 💕

“I DUNNO IM BAD AT FUNNY STUFF BUT KNOCK KNOCK I GUESS? -whos there

-ro who

Me, in chan voice: RObber ducky you're the one

yeah...

yeah

bYE”

“ I didn’t know changbin’s thighs were of such importance until I saw your username but now?? 👀 I am looking respectfully.”

“ every time chan doesn’t reply to my bubble message i hold my breath and try to die💆��♀️”

“ here are my favorite emoji combos: 😐☝️ 😫🖐️ 😂🤏 (i use that one when i get a dick pick and it's rlly small but the person thinks its big-) “

“ you are EVIL for making me choose just ONE bias OT8 EXISTS OK!?”

“ I hope this survey provides you with a lot of useful feedback! -sincerely a big tiddie committee member (you know the one)” [hehe yes i do hai M ;)]

“ chan’s tiddies... that’s it.”

“jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo?“

“ Jeongin is appropriately baby bread because his face is puffy in the morning so it's kinda like yeast rising 👉👉 “

“ someone needs to tell hyunjin to put some vaseline or something on his cuticles like I love him a lot but his recent live made me scream sir your cuticles are hanging on for dear life please I'm literally begging you “

“ I squeal whenever I get a notification from you and my family think I’m secretly dating someone. It’s nice knowing that they think I can get someone during a pandemic 😁 “ [this one had me SENT]

“i hope ur dreams are blessed with skz thighs.”

“ HS Bin supremacy!!”

“Sta”

“Ro(ses) are red, violets are blue - DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you :') “

“✨ dInG dOnG ✨ “

“You're doing God's work as a changbin stan xD “ [thank you so much aHA]

“damn gorl, are you a wifi signal? cause i’m tryna connect 🤔🥴✌🏾 “

“Good luck with your survey! I hope you get a big response! You know what else is big..?

Chan's feet. (I'm sorry, that was my attempt to make you giggle but I'm clearly not a comedian)”

“What's the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm! (Haha sorry star wars joke) “

“egg“

“just because you’re garbage, doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot <3 “

“Soft-Dom Minho Agenda is the best agenda. I have spoken. Sincerely yours, Javi (@itsapapisongo) “ [this is the way javi]

“Bang chan daddy supremacy”

“ro, ro, ro your boat gently down skz’ dick hell yea.” [this also had me SENT]

“stay smut writers should take “maknae on top” literally“

“idk man i’m just vibing. hope ur day is going well. (changbin voice) da DA da”

Fin.

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @chaangbin @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

#PHEW #haha this was so fun!!#binniesthighs helpdesk #skz smut #stray kids smut #kpop smut #bang chan smut #lee minho smut #changbin smut #hyunjin smut #han jisung smut #felix smut #seungmin smut #jeongin smut

54 notes · View notes

wordsfromthesol · 5 years ago

Text

Panic

Author: @wordsfromthesol Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Summary: You have a panic attack at your friend’s birthday party. Jason is there. Warnings: Panic attacks, Language, alcohol Word Count: 2.6k A/N: Most requested when I polled you guys!

“Gaby, I’m not going to know anyone there!”

“Well, it’s my birthday. So, you’re coming. Oh! I’ll invite Tim! You’re friends with him!”

“Yeah,” you rolled your eyes, not that it did any good since you were on the phone with her, but it made you feel better. You knew that Gaby secretly wished you two would end up together, despite you warning her that you were just close friends. Nothing more. “Alright, fine. I’ll meet you at yours at 10 and we can head out from there?”

“Girl, drinks are expensive! We are pre-gaming, come at 9 so we can do some shots before we leave!”

“You will be the death of me…see you at 9 Gabs.” You hung up the phone and immediately dialed Tim.

“Hey Timmy, I have a favor to ask.”

“Why am I not going to like this?”

“Because you’ll have to pry yourself away from that computer for like a night. But you have to come to Gaby’s birthday with me. I will loose it around all those sorority girls without you.”

“I think you can handle them, Y/N/N. You are very good at making friends.”

“I know I CAN handle them, but I’d rather have you there to help out. Maybe you’ll end up meeting someone? Come onnnn.”

“For some reason, I don’t think I would click with any of Gaby’s sorority friends.” You hear his older brother, Jason in the background.

“Timbers, someone is inviting you to hang out with a bunch of girls and you’re saying no?!”

“It’s just Y/N.”

“Oh gee, thanks Tim.”

“You know what I meant,” he mumbled into the phone before turning back to his brother. “Jay…she wants some company. You should go.”

“DO NOT PAWN ME OFF ON YOUR BROTHER, I SWEAR TO – HE DID NOT JUST HANG UP ON ME.” You realized that you would be facing this party on your own. If you had just told Tim why you wanted him to go, you knew he would stop everything and accompany you, but you didn’t want to be a charity case. Who knows if it will even happen? It’ll be fine.

Finally, 9 pm rolled around and you walked up to Gaby’s front door. You could already hear screaming girls on the other side. You took your key out and walked in, hearing Gaby yell at the top of her lungs, “Guess who’s 22, bitches!” Before turning on the infamous twenty-two song by Taylor Swift. It was the obligatory 22nd birthday song, after all. Gaby screamed once again when she saw you enter the kitchen.

“Y/N! You look amazing and I love you. We are going to have so much fun!” She turned back to pour a round of shots for everyone. You pulled your phone out and sent a text to Tim.

Timmy, if you love me at all you will come out tonight. We are going to Zia’s at 10.

Tim looks up from the computer as his phone buzzes. He reads the message and runs his fingers through his hair. He knew that you wouldn’t be asking…twice…if it wasn’t important. He got up from the computer, went to get more coffee and hopefully run into his brother. Thankfully, both a fresh pot and Jason were in the kitchen.

“Jason, Y/N texted me, the party is headed to Zia’s.”

“You want me to go to a party – without you – that your best friend is going to? Care to explain further, Timbers?”

“She asked me to go…twice and I’m really deep into this case…but she never asks twice.”

“Awe, little Timmy is worried about her.”

“Please Jason.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll head there and keep an eye on her.”

Tim nodded as he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in.

You got to the club, still waiting for Tim to even acknowledge your message. You knew how enveloped he got researching and whatever else his father had him doing on that dang computer. You would be surprised if he even checked his phone at all. Leaving Gaby, you headed to the bar…in desperate need of a drink.

“Sorority girls too much for you?”

You glanced up, immediately recognizing the voice, and then the person standing next to you. “Please tell me Tim didn’t send you to babysit me.”

“The sap was worried about you. Don’t yell at him too much.”

“At least he didn’t send Damian…” you grumbled, trying to get the attention of the bartender.

“Heh, the little demon would find a way in and cause a scene, wouldn’t he?”

“Probably just drag me out, kicking and screaming, so he didn’t have to watch people having fun.” You leaned over the counter and ordered your standard drink before looking to Jason and motioning for him to order something.

“Make it two,” he said before turning back to you. “So, I don’t take you as someone who needs back-up at these kinds of things.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes it’s better to be safe than sorry.” Your drinks were brought out, but as you reached for your card Jason stopped you to hand the bartender his own. “Thanks, Jay. So you dance?” You asked with a mischievous smirk growing on your face.

“I’m going to have to –” His words cut off as you grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the center of the group of girls you came with.

“GIRLLSSS, look at who I just found. Isn’t he just gorgeous?!” Jason swore your voice went up two octaves. All the girls surrounding him squealed as they took turns trying to get him to dance. He looked over at you with a ‘I’m so getting you back for this’ look in his eyes. The girls, he didn’t mind, the attempts to dance, he did. After a few songs, you needed a refill, and began to fell guilty for Jason’s current predicament so you carefully moved over to him.

“Jayybirdd, I sooo need another drink. I think you do to, doesn’t he girls?” Queue all the girls shrieking in agreement. You grabbed his wrist and led him back to the bar. “Sorry, I had to…but remember I also saved you.”

“I can see why Tim likes you.” He grins as you roll your eyes. As if you needed another person shipping the two of you together.

“He’s one of my best friends, like a brother.” You said with a definitive look in your eyes, willing him to understand that you and Tim would never be romantically involved. In fact, not that you would tell a soul, but the two of you did try one night and it just felt wrong. The two of you kissed and then spent the rest of the night laughing about it.

“Well I don’t want to be your brother.” Jason quipped back at you, as you summoned the bartender and ordered two more drinks.

“Don’t worry. You aren’t.”

“Good.”

Once the drinks arrived, you were dragging Jason back to the dance floor. He resisted a little less this time.

A few more songs had passed, and you felt that pit in your stomach starting to rise. You made your way back to the bar, in hopes of finding an unoccupied corner. Your eyes searched frantically around the club, to no avail. As you tried to begin regulating your breathing, you made your way to the door. Not the smartest thing to be on the streets of Gotham alone, but you couldn’t stay in there anymore.

Jason looked up and watched as you headed to the bar, hoping you would bring him back another drink as well. Looking down at the girl who grabbed his waist, he wriggled out of her grip and headed for where he last saw you…only you were no longer there. Okay, maybe she went to the bathroom. He knew Tim would kill him if anything happened to you, so he made his way to the bathrooms, stopping a girl about to enter.

“Hey, can you check if Y/N Y/L/N is in there?”

Thankfully the girl was not completely plastered and noticed the worried look in his eyes. She nodded and pushed open the door. Jason heard muffled calls before the girl came out and shook her head no.

“Fuck. Thanks.” He waved her along and made his way to the exit while searching the crowd for your Y/H/C hair. He steps outside and looks up the street, seeing you turn into an alleyway. What the fuck is she thinking. He broke into a run.

Going into an alley probably wasn’t the safest thing, but your mind was racing and thinking straight was not on the agenda. You counted your breathing in your head. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. You slunk to the ground, not caring about the dirt and trash that would coat your favorite skirt. Pulling your knees to your chest you tried to keep counting as you slammed your eyes shut blocking out as much of the outside world as possible. Eventually, you gave up on the counting and were hyperventilating in an alley, in Gotham, alone. You thought you heard your name, so you opened your eyes and saw Jason kneeling in front of you.

“Y/N, what the fuck. What are you doing?”

You jumped to your feet. No no, he can’t see me like this. No no no. You tried to run, but Jason grabbed your wrist and spun you into him. His fury melted as he saw the panic in your eyes. You looked up at him and without thinking pressed your lips against his with desperation. He pulled away and looked at you, confusion glossing over his face. You didn’t care and pulled him back in. You felt your breathing steady and tore your lips from his.

Barely able to form words, you looked at him, “I…panic…attack…” was all you could manage to get out. He nodded and picked you up, walking over to a cab. He opened the door and set you inside before walking around the car and climbing in next to you. He rattled off your address to the driver before pulling you next to him.

As you arrived, you opened the door and climbed out of the car as Jason rushed to your side. He looked at you, as if to ask ‘you okay?’ You nodded, but grabbed his wrist to follow you upstairs. Without saying another word, you opened the door to your apartment and went into the bedroom, you could feel your breathing start to become erratic once again. I just need to take my makeup off and get out of these clothes. Suck it up, Y/N. You can do this.

You stood at your bathroom vanity for far too long, staring at yourself, trying to will yourself to relax and calm down. You didn’t even notice when Jason came up behind you and put a hand on your shoulder, but you instinctively turned around and tucked yourself into his chest. He began to move to the bedroom but you planted your feet in place, determined to at least get out of these disgusting clothes. Taking a deep breath, you released yourself from his grasp and walked to the dresser to pull out an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sleep shorts. At this point, you didn’t care and you stripped off your club clothes and pulled on the clean ones as Jason stood in the doorway of your bathroom.

You crawled into bed and curled into a ball before noticing Jason still staring at you. You reached out your arm, motioning for him to join you. You noticed him sigh before crawling beside you, unbeknownst to you it was because he thought Tim would kill him for this entire situation. Letting you run out of the club and now falling asleep with you in his arms. Surely he was a goner, but he had always liked you. Ever since Tim brought you home all those years ago, but he never had a reason to hang around too much. After having you to himself all night, he knew he had legitimate feelings for his brother’s best friend.

***

You woke up the next day still entangled in Jason’s arms and devastation struck you as you remembered the disaster that occurred the night before. I kissed my best friend’s brother. Shit. Though, you had to admit, you had wanted to for awhile now. Carefully slipping from Jason’s grasp, you searched for your phone and immediately sent a text to Tim.

Don’t hate me. I may have kissed your brother last night.

What the hell happened?

Ugh, I had another stupid panic attack. And my mangled mind was all like, didn’t you read something about kissing helping to regulate your breathing.

I’m sorry, I should’ve been there. I knew there was a reason you asked me to go.

It’s okay Tim.

So…did you like it?

Tim! Wtf!

That’s not a no, Y/N/N!

Grow up!

You plugged your phone into the charger and went into the bathroom to see the state of your makeup. It was a disaster, as you guessed. After washing your face, you exited the bathroom to see Jason sitting up in the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better now that I’m not freaking out in front of my best friend’s brother.” You dragged your hand down your face. “I’m sorry about everything. You shouldn’t’ve had to deal with that. They’ve just been really bad lately…that’s why I wanted Tim to freaking go…but I didn’t want to disappoint Gaby, since it was her birthday –”

“Y/N. Relax. It’s okay. I was just worried about you. Why on earth would you not get me? Instead you go into an alley, by yourself, in fucking Gotham City.”

“I know,” you moved to sit next to him on the bed. “I just, most people don’t understand or know how to handle them. And I didn’t want to worry you…or Gaby. So, my mind just needed an exit strategy.”

“I’ve handled way worse, don’t ever scare me like that again.”

“What, you still wanna hang out with me?”

“Oh, uhm, well it’s not like we hang out much to begin with.” His tone turned almost sad.

“Well, you never ask.” You said blatantly.

“Neither do you!”

“Okay, fair. Well, since you’re here…and you paid for my drinks last night, I think I owe you breakfast. I think Tim even has some –” You stop short realizing that Tim’s clothes would never fit his brother and wave your hand at the thought.

“Tim has what?” He asked, slightly concerned.

“Oh, just some spare clothes here…but I realized you wouldn’t fit in them.”

“He’s going to kill me, by the way.”

“Probably.” You let out a chuckle as you rummage through your dresser for some clothes.

“Mind if I at least shower before we head out?”

“Not at all.” As Jason goes into the bathroom you change clothes and head into the kitchen to make some coffee while you wait.

***

Jason turns on the shower and dials his brother.

“Tim?”

“Where are you Jason? What happened last night? Gaby texted me saying you and Y/N went missing halfway through the night!”

“She had a panic attack, so we got out of there.” Jason opted for a half-truth in order to avoid being hit and/or berated by his younger brother when he got home.

“Hm, so where the hell are you now?”

“I’m still here. At Y/N’s.”

“What the fuck, Todd. Why are you still there?”

“I just wanted to make sure she was okay!” There was a long silence, one that Tim was sure drove his brother crazy. “We kissed.”

“YOU WHAT?!”

“If you like her, I’ll back off.”

“Nah, I was messing with you Jay. I already knew.”

“Bastard.”

“And I already see how the two of you look at each other. I say go for it…But I will kill you if you hurt her.”

“Deal.”

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