#fun fact: i almost deleted all of this akfhdg

[leejiieuns]

Jane could only sigh in response, the memory of what went down between her and Sungjae still vivid in her mind's eye. She couldn't ever remember hurting anyone the way she wanted to hurt Sungjae at that moment; his words always managing to slice through her even though she was well aware of how cruel he could be. But above all the anger was the fear. Not of Sungjae, but of herself. Jane had never wanted to hurt anyone, even before she got her mind control abilities she was always considerate of how her actions could affect how other people felt, and although she knew that she was more than capable of hurting someone-- she had caused her late friend's death, after all --, it was only then that she discovered she was capable of wanting to actually cause someone pain, and use her abilities to do so. "It wouldn't work on him now, anyway," she said, sounding resigned. "How does that guy somehow get the good end of this whole parabatai deal and you're just stuck with an asshole?" Her despise for the guy was evident in her tone. Wei's words elicit another small laugh from her, and she pushed away any thoughts of Kang Sungjae and focused on the present. Despite the heaviness Jane felt whenever she thought about her family, there was always a sense of happiness whenever she talked about her brother. "If it's any consolation to your ego, my brother is quite possibly the best person on earth, and he finds you cool, so," she said, lifting her shoulders in a light shrug, trying to ignore the pang in her chest that seemed to grow. She missed her brother, terribly. She missed his easy laughter, and his little jokes. Jane may have been considered the miracle child by her parents, who had almost given up on having kids until they had her, but Matty had always been the gift. Jane turned her head so she could flash Wei a grateful smile, but the bittersweet feeling still stayed. She wished she could believe that she had some semblance of control, but she was close to giving up. "If only I could make myself believe, huh?" she mused, a small laugh accompanying her words. "I thought that having mind control abilities would make me be like Jean Grey or something."

jane's reaction isn't entirely surprising, because the dislike she—or most people, really—has for sungjae is nothing but obvious, yet it still has wei frowning. part of it because the last time jane tried to do what she just said, it hadn't been pretty and wei could still remember how furious sungjae was, and how upset he was for his parabatai had tried to hurt jane. yet now, wei hates how there's a nagging voice in the back of his mind that maybe they should make sungjae suffer a little more. wei likes to think he's more or less used with the guy's tricks that could get a bit cruel, like jane said, but regrettably it's never quite as simple as that. "please don't do that again. you know he won't just sit back and suck it all up." he says to her, probably sounding more serious than he's been for the first time during their conversation. "i'd hate for anything to happen to you. sometimes i feel like i'm still mad whenever i think about what happened last time." to say that he's worried would be an understatement. he highly doubts he wouldn't finish what he started when sungjae had oh-so-proudly brought yan here, thinking it as a favor; the guilt might wear on him, and maybe he doesn't even want to entertain such a thought, because parabatais are supposed to get along and not trying to fight each other the entire time. "wow. and here i thought being seen as cool could probably boost my ego a little." he shakes his head, the ghost of a grin still present. he falls silent while jane talks, only nods slowly to indicate that he's listening. it isn't hard for him to see where she's coming from, her concerns all the difficulties and challenges at stake, that it makes something weighs a little heavy on his heart. their circumstances may be very different, but he supposes there's a certain understanding between those who can't go home. often, he's found comfort in the fact that at least they still have each other. at least he still has her when things get bad sometimes, like now. there's a brief few seconds of hesitation, before he leans forward and reaches a hand out carefully to touch hers. "maybe you could, but you won't." he says, head tilting a little, hoping to catch her eye. "you just need to believe in yourself that you won't. like how i believe you."