#fun fact: even though he is a very fem. character - he will still top everyone.

[stanislawkowalski]

luka: aesthetics - let this man cook with his wardrobe.

[kaitsawamura]

would you like to stay forever?

SUMMARY⎮   Sparring with Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro in his private gym at his home doesn't seem like a bad idea if you don't count the fact that you really, really like him.

STATS⎮ minors do not interact, 18+ ⎮  Rating: M (for mature)  ⎮  WC: 5525  ⎮   Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro x Fem!Reader  ⎮   Tags: Aged Up Character(s), Friends to Lovers, Sparring, Smut, Fluff, Age/Experience Gap (if you really squint)  ⎮  AO3

NOTES⎮  Thanks to @spacelabrathor​ for listening to me scream about this and to @some-kindofgnome​ for fueling my Kiri fever dreams.  Yes, that title is based on a Mulan quote. This whole fic was based on THIS POST and Kirishima seemed like the perfect character for this pwp.  Hope y'all enjoy!  (Also please for the love of God, click on the banner to see in HD if you’re on mobile, it looks so much better lol)

It was Saturday and even though you’re on your way to becoming a Pro Hero, you can think of several things you’d rather be doing with your one day off than going to Kirishima Eijiro’s house to spar.  But here you are pulling into his driveway, going over combat moves in your head as if your life depended on it.  They weren’t really serving their purpose which was to distract yourself.  Kiri had offered up his personal gym, encouraged you to stop by with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing the back of his neck as if he was nervous.  

A couple of his friends had already taken him up on the offer.  You were the only one he’d offered who hadn’t come over yet.  He had texted you a couple of weeks later saying he was starting to take it personally…  and then immediately texted with a laughing emoji just to clarify he was only giving you a hard time.  It brings a smile to your face now as you remember it.  Yesterday he had also clarified it would just be the two of you if you were self-conscious sparring in front of other people.  You’d have the whole place to yourselves.  Like that should mean something.  Which it did.  It does , you realize with butterflies growing in your stomach.  Kiri doesn’t need to know that though.

The two of you had been toeing around something since you had been hired at Fatgum’s Agency a year ago.  Neither of you had made a move.  Kirishima, the Red Riot, was a big Pro Hero and while you took pride in your quirk, it didn’t hold a coin to some of the others you’d come in contact with.  It had surprised you when Toyomitsu had brought you on.  But he had mumbled something about “liking your spunk” and that he thought a teleportation quirk would be a useful one to add to his agency.  The first day you had shown up, Kiri had immediately caught your eye.  Not for the obvious reasons.  Obvious reasons being the fact that he was climbing the Pro Hero charts or the fact that he had a dynamically interesting quirk or that at twenty-five he was already built like a brickhouse. 

Those were all valid reasons, yes, but what had pulled you in was his smile and his genuine interest in you outside of your quirk.  But he was just like that you had quickly discovered.  He knew everyone’s coffee order and what they liked for lunch.  He knew when to push and when to back off.  He knew when to talk and when to listen , knew when he still had a lesson to learn.  The kids flocked to him.  Even now you’re still entirely convinced that’s actually his quirk, getting people to like him.  It’s not a difficult thing to do though.

Your brain stutters back to the present when a text notification pings from your cell phone as you sit in Kiri’s driveway, picking at non-existent lint on your gym shorts.  The cute ones you’re still convincing yourself were your only clean pair and that’s the only reason you wore them.

KIRI : i saw u pull up, u gonna come in or what 😂

Had he been waiting for you to get there?  You tapped out a quick response, one that hid the little flip in your stomach at the thought: creeper, you were watching for me lmao

Response bubbles immediately flash on your phone screen but you’re angling out of your car and shutting the door before he can reply.

Somehow, this house fits Kiri perfectly.  It isn’t big.  You had seen pictures of other top-ranking Pros’ houses.  Enji Todoroki’s house, for example, was fucking ridiculous.  But even without a massive floor plan, Kiri’s house is nicer than any you’d been in for some time.  Clean, straight lines and lots of windows.  In fact, you can see straight through the floor-to-ceiling windows out to his backyard when you reach the front door.  Is that a pool ?  Kiri had tons of fun showing pictures at the agency; it was a well-deserved investment for his already multiple years of service as a Pro.  The pictures hadn’t done the place justice though.

Kiri comes to the door, throwing it wide open with a huge grin that shows off his sharp teeth.  You ignore the way your mouth goes dry as he drags you in, babbling on like an excited little kid at you actually coming.

“I really thought you were gonna back out!  I mean, that would have been fine, of course.  I just can’t see the point of having the whole place to myself all the time.”  He’s irresistibly cute, walking around showing you the living room and the kitchen and pointing out to the backyard where, yes, there is indeed a pool.  “You can come over any time and use that too if you want!”  You thank him, warmth pooling in your stomach at how incredibly nice he is.

“Uh, we should probably get in the gym.  I have… stuff to do later,” you finish lamely.  You don’t have anything to do later but very quickly you’re realizing how far out of your depth you are here.  The familiar beginnings of the head over heels fall is washing over you in steady waves.  But you’re coworkers and the thought of coming to work every day and having to see his adorable face and not doing anything about it is almost making you nauseous.

“Oh, yeah, it’s just down the hallway,” he rumbles, leading the way and you follow trying and failing miserably to calm the nerves flashing through your veins.  You’re here alone with Kiri , the man you’ve been crushing on since you’d started working with him a year ago.  And now your stupid brain isn’t just thinking about what it would feel like to run your tongue along his teeth or how his hands would feel between your legs.  No, your stupid brain is thinking about what Kiri looks like when he first opens his eyes in the morning.

Your one-track mind is not getting any help, especially when Kiri walks through the doorway of the gym addition and immediately proceeds to pull his shirt up and over his shoulders and tosses it to the side.  Shit.  His back muscles ripple with the movement and when he turns to face you, it’s heart-wrenchingly obvious that he has no idea the effect he’s having on you.  He has to know .  Doesn’t he?  From your end, it seems wildly obvious that someone as good-looking as him should know .  

You glance around, eternally grateful for the fact that the gym is also attractive.  Floor to ceiling windows span two of the walls here as well and there’s a large set of French doors leading out to the yard.  You find yourself actually in awe when you get a better look at the landscaping.  It’s so green .  There’s a small patch of lawn but the rest is just artfully arranged native flora and fauna.  Violets, tulips.  Huge hosta plants.  And cherry trees heavy with their signature sakura blossoms.  

“Kiri, it’s beautiful!”  He comes to stand beside you, looking out the French doors as well.

“You like it?  I guess it is pretty nice, huh?”  You glance up at him, your chest expanding on a lurch looking at his smile.  You’d never noticed before but he has a light dusting of freckles across his nose.

“Yeah, really nice.”  You look out again, letting the silence grow until it feels like the most comfortable thing in the world.  After what seems like an eternity Kiri clears his throat, rocking back on the balls of his feet.  “What are you thinking for today?”  The question leaves your lips and you’re immediately regretting it; your stomach flips again when Kiri looks at you like you’re prey.

“Close combat, hand-to-hand combat.  You did mention a while ago you wanted to strengthen that, right?”  You throw your head back, rolling your eyes, and groan.  The two of you make your way to the center of the mat.

“Yeah, I mean, I’d be scared to take me on too,” Kiri says, large hands on even larger hips.   He isn’t as tall as some of the other heroes at six foot three inches but he’s wide , thick.  You know for a fact you couldn’t wrap your arms around his waist and have your hands meet.  He’s wearing the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen.  The sharpened points of his canines are out and on prominent display.   Famous last words you think as a snarl erupts on your face.

“I’m not scared , Kiri.  I just don’t want to wear you out .  You’re a Pro Hero.  You’re on the job a lot more than I am.  Plus, you’re getting kind of old.  Is that a little gray I see coming in?”  Kiri bares his teeth even more but it’s not lost on you that he quickly reaches up to rake his fingers through his hair.  There isn’t any gray, obviously , but the thought has Red Riot distracted.  Distracted enough that when you plant your feet and your fist connects with his face, your knuckles hit skin and not the reinforced rock of his quirk.

“ Shit.”  Kiri takes a step back, reaching up to cradle his jaw.  His tongue swipes out to lick at the blood on his bottom lip.  His vermillion eyes find yours and if you didn’t work with him on a regular basis, you would have felt fear at this moment.  You know he wouldn’t hurt you but even now, a thrill races through your veins like electricity.  He looks as if he’s going to devour you.  You take your own step back, readying your quirk, reaching out to it as your fists hold their position in front of your body.  A dark chuckle spills from his chest as Kiri calls on his own quirk.

Now it was your turn to be distracted; you had always been fascinated by Kiri’s quirk, the way his body looked when it hardened up.  The ripples of muscle still visible under the toughened skin.  The divots and ridges and how they mapped their way across his shoulders and chest and abdomen.  You knew how it felt to the touch in fake combat.  The Fatgum heroes all took pride in maintaining a healthy routine; sparring was a common workout that was previously done at a local public gym.  You wonder absently what it would feel like to touch him slow and at the moment.  When you could give extra attention with extra time. 

Kiri closes the space between the two of you at the moment your mind strays and you barely are able to teleport out of the way to avoid him crashing into you.  You try to take a swipe at him as you materialize from in front of him to behind but this time he’s ready for you and he’s using his quirk.  Instead of moving out of the way, he plants his feet and allows your punch to hit.  Pain radiates up through your fingers and wrist.  It always irritated you that you had to prepare yourself to strike Kiri when he was using his quirk.  Otherwise, you’d be in for a whole lot of hurt every time you landed a punch.

Teleportation is a pretty handy quirk.  It gives you a pretty good advantage the more you work on your close combat skills.  The trick with Kiri was to keep going at him until he ran out of energy.  You hadn’t gotten to that point yet; your quirk had its limits as well.  You were only two years out of UA, Kiri was out by seven.  His strength was already fairly unmatched; sparring with him was always good practice.  You relish the thought of the day you can win a sparring session without tapping out.  It surges through you like pure energy.  

You teleport to stand in front of him again, shifting your weight into your hips and up through your right hook.  This time your fist connects with Kiri’s side and he lets out a small grunt.  Your fingers don’t hurt so bad this time and by the time Kiri is retaliating, you jump back a few feet.  He hmms, a sound that reverberates from his chest.

“That’s all well and good but how do you expect to do anything if you jump that far away?”  He lunges forward at a running start, leaping at the last second, sending his gloved fist into your stomach.  You were fast, but still not always fast enough.  You double over, the air rushing from your lungs and your pre-workout protein smoothie threatening to exit back the way it went in.  Sweat is already beading on your brow and sliding under your tank top.  You take a few breaths through your nose when an idea pops into your head; you stay bent over.  “Hey, I didn’t hit you that hard.  You good?”  

Kiri comes to stand in front of you, leaving him vulnerable.  He can’t see your smirk until it’s too late.  You wail on him, using some of the basic combos he’s taught you before today.  Satisfaction rolls through you when he actually takes a step back.  But then he puts his arms up in front of him, clenching his abdomen and bending inward to protect his core.  He drops just a fraction and before you realize what’s happening, he’s swiping his leg out to push through yours.  You watch in slow motion as you see his laughing face then the ceiling of the gym as you flip and land on your back.

If you thought you were out of breath before…  “Fuuu-.”  It’s a wheeze that feels like it’s ripping your chest open.  You’re seeing stars.  Kiri stands over you, hands on his hips again.  You stare at his face; the hero has his hair pulled back into a bun.  You snort, rolling your eyes.  Why does he still look so fucking good?  The sweat has caused some of the pieces falling out of his hair tie to curl.  His hair has curl to it?  You’ve never noticed before, considering he always gels it into spikes.  You like the curl.  “Are you--are you gonna help me up, or what?”  It was still painful to talk.

Kiri tilts his head to the side, just slightly, and crosses his arms.  “I’m thinking not.  Last time I let down my guard you got those good combos in.”  You stare in stunned silence, sitting up so you’re supported by your elbows.  Kiri shifts slightly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s backing up to… get a better view.   

“Is that any way to treat your student,  Red Riot?”  You know you get under his skin when he clicks his tongue against his teeth and holds out a hand with a begrudging eye roll.  He pulls you up with ease, quickly enough that you almost lose your balance, swaying into his space.  You look up, eyes moving back and forth between his.  

He draws in a breath and drags his bottom lip between his teeth.  “First of all,” he says as he places his hands on your upper arms, “I’m not your teacher.  I’m not that much older than you.  Secondly,” he mutters as he tucks a stray lock of hair behind your ear, “our relationship isn’t that formal is it?”  He’s so fucking close.  This is getting dangerous.  Dangerous because Kiri is within kissing distance.  Dangerous because this gentle side of him is making you lose more breath than falling on your ass.  Dangerous because the thought of Kiri taking you on the floor right now is almost too much to bear.  

So you fall back on what you’re here to do.  Fight.  You flash him a wicked smile before rallying your quirk and teleporting a few feet away.  His hand is still raised in mid-air and when his head whips to look in your direction, his crimson eyes are narrowed and his nostrils are flared.  He laughs and rolls his neck, dancing on his toes.

“Okay.  I see.  I’m not gonna go easy on you, you know?”  You snort and put your fists up in front of you again.

“As if you were going easy on me before, Kiri.  Bring it on.”  He smiles, the sharp points of his teeth enough to make your thoughts swerve again before you bring them under control.  “Bring it on,” you whisper more to yourself as you brace for the fight.

Two hours later, you feel the strain in your muscles.  Your quirk is running low on reserves and you know you won’t be able to use it much more.  Kiri looks like he hasn’t wasted a breath but you can see he’s getting tired in the way his feet don’t move as sharply.  And if the length of time he’s using his quirk is any indication to his state of mind, you know the two of you will be calling it a day soon.  But you’re also both stubborn.  And you’re dying to get one more good move in on him.

The cockiness the two of you had at the beginning of the sparring session hasn’t gone away but has burned hot into determination.  No more smiles, only clear-headed concentration.  The two of you are an arm's length from each other, throwing various punches and switching quickly between using your quirks and not.  You’re breathing hard, sweat gathering at your brow as you throw another right hook that Kiri easily blocks.

“Get out of your head.  You can be too predictable sometimes.”  He doesn’t mean for it to come across as rude but the words strike a match to a guttering fire.  You bare your own teeth at Kiri even though they aren’t sharp and probably don’t look nearly as threatening but it helps you feel powerful nonetheless.  You drop without a second thought, lowering to your palms and sweeping your leg out in front of you in a wide arc.  A grin spreads across your face when your calf meets Kiri’s ankle.  He’s too physically dense for this move to work if he had seen it coming.  But he doesn’t.  And his solid 220 pounds of muscle falls hard.  

You allow yourself the satisfaction of the moment for only a split second; Kiri’s recovery time is much shorter than yours so it isn’t long before he’s scrambling forward.  He goes straight for your wrists to subdue you but with a smirk, you realize in his haste he’s put himself in the perfect position for you to possibly gain the upper hand.  You scoot up away from him just enough to drag his arm forward and swing your legs around his neck.  Then you elevate your hips and lock your core.

It’s over from there as you squeeze with every last ounce of strength left in your body.  It doesn’t take long for him to tap out.  You release as soon as you feel his loose hand tap your arm; he collapses over you and you’re too tired to move away or push him off.  Now his breathing is rough and you feel a surge of pride.  You reach up and place your hand on his head where his bun has come undone; he’s so heavy but it doesn’t feel bad.  In fact, the feel of Kirishima resting his head and upper chest on your stomach is feeling nothing short of good .  He’s still between your legs and suddenly the air is crackling with a new kind of energy when you gently comb your fingers through his hair.

He rises up, his hands on either side of you.  His hips rest between your legs; the mingled heat radiating from both of you is almost more than you can take but there is no way you’re going to move anywhere.  He leans forward, so close you can see the flecks of burnt orange in his eyes.  If you moved forward just a little, you could close that space between you.  He leans down more, his mouth right next to the shell of your ear.

“Maybe not always predictable.  You did good today.  Probably some of the best fighting I’ve seen from you so far.  Keep it up.”  He grunts, a shift of his hips allowing the curve of his cock to brush against your clothed sex through his gym shorts.  He stiffens in what you think might be embarrassment.  “Shit, sorry, let me just, uh--”  The stuttering mess he becomes right before your eyes makes something lurch in your chest; you reach for his face without thinking.

“Kiri,” you whisper, rolling your own hips against his.  His cheeks are burning a shade of red almost as vibrant as his hair.  You bring up your other hand, holding his face between them and bringing him down to settle over you once more.  Your lips meet his; he seems to war with himself for just a moment.  A suspended second in time.  But then he gives in, slipping his tongue against yours in a delicious sliding vision of what’s coming.

He reaches between you to slip his hand under your tank top; his hand is big and nearly encompasses your side.  But it’s warm and gentle.  Gentle.  Who would have guessed that Red Riot could be so fucking gentle?  But he is and when his hand moves lower to slide below the hem of your shorts, you give yourself to him with no reservations.  His middle finger passes through the mess of your sex; a hissed breath rattles through his chest as your back arches on a ragged groan.

“ Shit.  You’re so wet .”  He slides his finger back and forth, gathering your slick on the thick digit.  He takes his hand away and you mewl.  “Can I?”  He asks breathlessly as he hooks his hands on the hem of your shorts.  You nod, eyes half-lidded.  He pulls them down along with your underwear and the way he looks at you, at what’s between your legs, you don’t even have the wherewithal to feel self-conscious.  Adoration.  It’s the only word you can think of and it makes you wonder if you’d made a mistake waiting so long.

He’s on his knees when he takes your legs and drapes them on either side of his hips; this time he doesn’t hesitate in slipping his finger into your cunt.  You nearly see stars just from that and if one finger is any indication, you’re in for it.  Slowly, he adds another, his hand pumping into you in a steady rhythm.  You’re grabbing for the ground, grabbing for him as a strangled noise pushes from your throat.  He reaches out with his other hand to splay it across your sternum and it’s the only thing anchoring you as he adds the third finger before scooting down to put his mouth on your clit.

“ Kiri,” you keen, shoving your hips into his touch, frantically scrabbling for his wrist that’s on your chest just to have something to hold on to.  He’s done this before, he’s had to.  He’s too good.  Too fucking good.  Already there’s coiling in your gut as incomprehensible words tumble from your mouth.  “Shit.  Shit.  Kiri I’m--I’m gonna--”  He rumbles approvingly against your clit; the vibrations send you closer and closer to the edge and when it crests, your back arches near pain as you cry out, your voice echoing in the gym.  It’s deep, roaring through all of your limbs but  Kiri keeps going, fingers still pumping, tongue still swirling around your sensitive nub.

Another orgasm breaks over you sharp and quick and the overstimulation has your legs quaking as your arousal gushes over Kiri’s hand and tongue.  But then he’s moving again, and you’re blearily aware that he’s shoving his own shorts and boxers past his hips to free his cock.  You stare as it bounces back to sit near the planes of his stomach; it’s already leaking steadily with precum.  Kiri looks back at you and when your eyes meet, you dart your tongue out between your lips to wet them.  Another time, maybe.  

Kiri leans forward to lift you up and the closer you get you can barely see any red in his eyes; his pupils are blown, his nostrils flared as he lifts you like you weigh nothing .  He could snap you like a twig.  But he won’t.  You know without a doubt this is the safest you’ve ever felt, even as he lowers you slowly over his cock and it does feel like you’re being split .

“ Fuuuck…”  You wrap your legs around him, your mouth dropped open, your hands gripping his shoulders.  You try not to dig your nails in but it’s almost impossible with how you’re being filled.  You knew Kiri was big but this was almost too much.  His forehead drops to yours as he pants.  But he’s not moving, won’t move until you tell him to.  It makes your heart ache and your cunt floods, drunk on the affection thrumming through your veins.  You roll your hips experimentally and the friction is bliss.  “Oh fuck, ohfuck.”  You move again, pushing yourself up and back down, listening to the hitch in his breathing.  “ Kiri, please, ” you whisper.  Those words… they’re enough.

Kirishima grips you by the hips, his fingers splayed and digging into the flesh; it’ll leave bruises and the knowledge cracks through you like electricity.  Let him leave marks.  Let him leave them everywhere.  He’s moving you up and down his cock, grunting, mumbling.  “Tell me, Kiri, tell me.”  His eyes meet yours again and his own mouth drops open.

“Fuck, you’re so good.  S’ tight.  Jesus, I-- ” Kiri moves his hands from your hips to support you as he lays you down on the floor of the gym.  The idea should be questionable but it’s not, it’s fucking not and you can’t concentrate on any other thoughts when Kiri grabs your wrists and pins them gently above your head with one hand while the other comes back to your hip.  He thrusts into you at a brutal pace but… it feels like home and you think in that moment as your cunt begins to seize around his cock that you would give up forever to continue touching him.

“Yes, Kiri, yes.  Right there, right--shit yesyes yes. ”  He pistons up, the veins of his cock rubbing just right and when he releases the grip on your hands, they’re moving to wrap around him on instinct.  He’s planting kisses along your jaw, mouthing up to your lips and back down to graze his teeth over your pulse point.  “Do it, fuckin’ do it, let them know ‘m yours, ” you slur and when he bites down you crash over the edge on a groan that’s really more of a scream.  Everything goes black but you're cradling him to you as his movements become more erratic.  The snapping of his hips is getting sloppier by the second and a steady growl punches from his lungs with each breath.  “Cum, Kirishima, cum inside me.”

He’s never heard those words before and it lights a fire in his veins.  His head is buzzing and then he can’t hear anything as his cock releases and he’s spurting searing hot ropes of cum into your cunt.  He goes until you’ve milked every last drop from him and he’d be lying if he said his world didn't suddenly feel whole.  Finally, his body settles and his chest drops to yours.  Everything slowly bleeds back into focus and somehow, everything seems more colorful than it did moments before.  You’re still clinging to him.

“Kiri.  Kiri, babe, I can’t breathe,” you say and he slowly rises, taking in your blissed-out expression.  Your eyes can barely stay open, your cheeks are flushed.  He backs up to see his handiwork on display, hyper-focused on the trail of the mingling cum dripping from the mess of your sex.  But you’re smiling.  Lazy and tired, completely at ease.  “Wanna take a shower?”  When you nod he doesn’t hesitate in standing to kick his underwear and shorts the rest of the way off his legs and then he’s grabbing you, scooping you into his arms and against his chest.  He pads out of the gym and across the hall to his bathroom where he deposits you on your feet, only after he’s sure you can stand and only long enough to turn the shower head-on.

He puts his hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm.  Steam billows from behind the glass door when he’s turning back to you to remove your tank top and your sports bra.  Thank god you chose the front-closure one today; you didn’t think either one of you wanted to struggle to get one up over your head right now.  When your breasts spill out of the high-impact fabric, you notice with tender amusement that his cock is half-hard again.  His eyes go dark again and he leans in for a kiss.  But it's slow and sweet. 

"You're so fuckin' beautiful," he whispers.  He ignores his arousal, ushering you into the stream of water.  Your care is the only thing that matters to him right now.  The heat slides across your body, and when Kirishima steps up behind you and begins soaping up your shoulders, it feels like heaven .

You take turns washing each other until you’re both blissed out in a different kind of way and the only thing either one of you can think about is sleep.  But the afterglow is fading and doubt is creeping in.  When you step out of the water, you stand awkwardly as Kiri hands you a towel.  “You okay?”  He’s actually concerned and you can’t put your finger on why you’re so fucking grateful for it.

“Yea, just tired.  I should, uh, probably get going.”  Kiri freezes and you think you’ve said something wrong, already crossed a line.  Your brain is like a broken record as the stomach-curdling image of having to see him at the agency flashes across your eyes in vivid detail.  But then he’s stepping into your space and pulling you in for a hug.  A hug.

“Don’t go,” he whispers into the crown of your head and it has you smiling like an idiot against his chest.  His skin smells clean and warm with a hint of spice.  You bury your face further in as you nod against him.  Then he’s leading you to his room, to the king-sized bed.  He peels back the comforter and the white sheets and pulls you in beside him.  Your back is against him and he hooks his foot around your ankles, bringing you even closer.  

He doesn’t say anything more, just lets out a huge sigh as he wraps his arm around you.  The last thing you notice before your eyes flutter shut is how your heartbeats are thumping at the same steady rhythm.  

Late afternoon sunlight slants in Kirishima’s bedroom window, creating interesting patterns across his blanket.  It’s pushed towards the end of the bed, your legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets.  He’s still dozing, his breathing not quite that of someone sleeping but not of a person fully awake.  You reach out to cup his cheek, stroke above his eyebrows, caress his lips with your thumb.  A contented sigh leaves his chest as he grabs your hand and kisses your wrist.  His eyes are open now and he watches you.  You smile at him, snuggling closer, not wanting the moment to end.

“Hey,” he says quietly, suddenly serious.  “I just want you to know, I don’t do this all the time.  I mean, I’ve been with other people before but I don’t…  I don’t really hook up .”  Things start clicking into place as you realize what he’s trying to get across.  He just fucked you stupid in his personal gym and somehow he looks bashful.  And because you love it, you’re not going to help him along.  You just watch, biting your lip to keep from giggling.  “I just.  I guess what I’m trying to say is I like you.  I’ve liked you for a long time.  And normally I would have wined and dined you first but...  Well.  Here we are.  Would you like to stay for dinner?”

That’s the last straw; your laughter comes bubbling out of you and Kiri is leaning back to look at you with a quizzical expression on his face.  “Is something funny?”  That just makes you laugh a little harder but the confused look he’s wearing has you leaning in to press your lips against his.

“I’ve liked you from the first day I met you, Kiri.  I’ll one-up your offer and tell you that I might like to stay forever.”  A grin rips across his face and your heart blooms with warmth and affection.  The world seems full of possibilities but none of them matter except for the possibility laying right in front of you.

[cat3ch1sm]

💚~ hello everyone! i hope you are all having a lovely week. here i am with some sk8 the infinity x black reader stuff lol. also my birthday is in three days ☺️

ˏˋ°•*��➷ black!reader, fem!reader, Christianity, church

pov- you take them to a gospel service!

notice- as far as i know, these characters aren’t canonically Christian, and i am not trying to make them out to be! i just made these for fun<33

reki

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ most people, when first going to a gospel service with mostly black people who are… very passionate about Christ are sort of alarmed. not reki. he’s vibing like hell with everybody else

~ bro is not freaked out by all the yelling at all- hell, he’s louder than a lot of the people there. reki has no trouble getting hyped and singing (off-key probably) with the choir

~ you might have to tell him when it’s appropriate to say stuff- he might get confused and shout something at the wrong time. but he’s really fun to have there

~ he might get antsy if the service goes on too long, but that’s the only con of having reki along with you to church. long story short he’s invited to the potluck

langa

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ the exact opposite of reki, pretty much

~ he is alarmed. he jumps whenever somebody yells something out. he gets super nervous when the preacher starts shouting and sweating and the organ music is all loud and dramatic. he keeps wondering why people are interrupting the preacher.

~ he might clap a bit or tap a foot when the singing first starts, but when people start getting super really into it and all of that, langa freezes up. he wonders what he’s supposed to do. should he be jumping around and singing along at the top of his lungs, too?? sounds intimidating. he just awkwardly sits down.

~ of course, he doesn’t say that he doesn’t like it. he will probably also go again with you if you ask. it’s just not his cup of tea and that’s okay

miya

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ is super awkward the whole time. he’s also kinda confused and doesn’t get why everyone is so intense but sorta just rolls with it.

~ he’ll clap during the songs but that’s about it. I also see him being totally fazed by everyone yelling because he spends too much time with langa and reki for that.

~ is weirdly attentive during the sermon

~ he also dresses super formal

cherry

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ doesn’t really want to go but will if you ask him politely. it’s nothing against the religion or anything but he just doesn’t see the point of going to church

~ he also dresses very nicely. he’ll even take his hair down

~ due to the fact that joe, reki, langa, shadow, and miya exist, he does not bat an eye during the super loud singing and music and sermon. he’s very respectful the whole time despite standing like a damn statue when the congregation has to get up out of the pews

~ despite not necessarily enjoying the service, he isn’t rude and pays attention to the sermon and stuff

~ leaves right after the service ends. he really can’t do the fellowship stuff afterwards and the food that usually comes after. he just takes off

joe

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ doesn’t get as hyped as reki but is still very into everything. he also isn’t really religious but he likes the energy and it’s easy for him to match

~ he doesn’t dress formally but he will conduct himself well.. he doesn’t even look for mfs to hit on. a round of applause please

~ inhales half the food after the service. he’s super nice to everyone though to make up for it and for some reason made friends with the little old ladies as well.

[x-childish-x]

hello, i noticed there’s been a growth of obi wan requests on your page. if you don’t mind, may i also request an obi wan x reader fanfic (preferably a female reader)? my idea is that the reader is related to qui gon, maybe a niece of his that he looks after since her parents passed. after qui gon’s death, reader decides to become a jedi and she and obi wan grow closer over the years, and finally confess their love for each other after they both become masters?

Long Time Coming

Pairing: Obi-Wan x fem!reader

Fandom: Star Wars

Warnings: ansgt?, fluff, mentions to multiple character deaths, mentions of a funeral

Word Count: 2,417

A/N: This is quite long! I'm sorry if that's not something you like! Firstly, thank you for the request and support! I appreciate it so much and feedback is always more than welcome and appreciated!! This request was super unique and I had a fun time writing it despite feeling the need to absolutely perfect it, lol. Anyways, I really hope this is what you wanted and that you enjoy it!

P.S. I am out of surgery and now starting recovery. Everything’s gone well so far, but I probably won’t be posting much. Check my page for a form to send in some questions for me to answer!!

Summary: Obi-Wan's been trying to catch your attention for years and after your uncle Qui-Gon Jinn's death, you find comfort in Obi-Wan like never before.

(gif not mine!)

"(Y/n), we're making another stop. We don't have enough fuel to make it back to Coruscant. We're landing on Tattooine," Your uncle, Qui-Gon, spoke softly through the holopad.

"I found the planet," Obi-Wan beamed at you, hoping this fact would impress you.

You smiled widely, nodding to Obi-Wan, "Keep this old man out of trouble for me, won't you Obi-Wan?"

The young boy nodded vigorously as your uncle rolled his eyes, "You're getting quite old yourself (y/n). I urge you to rethink your choice of not becoming a Jedi before you're using a cane."

"We could train together!" Obi-Wan cheered, his eyes glinting with hope as he looked up at his master, "I would do well at bringing her up to speed!"

There seemed to be something that happened off the holopad that you couldn't see. Both men turned their heads before looking back at you with nearly identical looks of remorse.

"We're landing soon. I must leave," Qui-Gon frowned, "Stay out of trouble. I'll return soon."

Over the next few days, Obi-Wan and your uncle did their best to keep in contact with you. Though it wasn't much, barely once a day, it was still something, and that very much made you smile. Each call was a relief because they were both alive. They were okay. They would be home soon. 

"A boy?" You questioned Obi-Wan.

"Yes, his name is Anakin Skywalker," He frowned slightly before leaning more towards his holopad, whispering, "I'm beginning to think Qui-Gon likes him better than me."

"Nonsense!" You laughed, "Qui-Gon loves you! It's impossible to not love you!"

Immediately realizing what you said, your cheeks flushed with heat, Obi-Wan's reaction mocking yours. You missed Obi-Wan, he was your best friend after all, and it wasn't often that Qui-Gon and he left on such long missions. 

"There was this thing," Obi-Wan spoke up, "He wielded a red lightsaber."

"That doesn't sound good," You frowned, wishing Obi-Wan was more than just a hologram before you.

He nodded before his attention was stolen off-screen, and he huffed, "I have to go. We'll be home soon!"

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

"What is this about you being attacked!" You yelped, jogging up to Qui-Gon.

He smiled at your concern, "I am fine. He escaped. We believe he's a sith, that they've returned. The good news is the boy we found will be my new Padawan."

"I don't care about the boy," You hissed, glaring up at your uncle, "I care about you being safe, about not losing you!"

Unexpectedly, Qui-Gon pulled you into his chest. Tears welled in your eyes at the action he so rarely did, your arms wrapping as tight as they could around his torso. You felt a kiss pressed to the top of your head and immediately squeezed tighter, tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Please... I can't lose you too, Uncle."

Qui-Gon winced at your words, knowing how dangerous it was to form attachments, yet it'd been impossible with you. From the moment you'd come under his care, you'd immediately bonded. There was no way you wouldn't have formed an attachment with him and he with you.

You'd showed up on his doorstep fourteen years ago when you were only nine. You had clutched your stuffed bantha to your chest with tears running down your cheeks, mumbling all about how 'mommy and daddy were gone' and 'I need you, uncle Qui-Gon'. His heart immediately shattered. The passing of his brother had reached him a few hours before your arrival, and the nanny behind you gave the older man a soft smile before nudging you forward.

You bounded forward, slamming into Qui-Gon's legs with a loud sob that had the older man lifting you into his arms instantly. You'd been destroyed by the sudden and mysterious loss of your parents. You sought comfort in your uncle Qui-Gon and his young Padawan. You'd spent years denying the chance to become a Jedi, afraid you were too imbalanced in your emotions.

You pulled back from Qui-Gon, allowing him to wipe your tears before he kissed your head once more. He moved, walking over to Obi-Wan, and you watched as the two talked before separating. Obi-Wan walked towards you, but your eyes locked on a small boy behind him who stood next to what looked like an R2 droid.

"We're leaving again," Obi-Wan sighed, frowning at your slightly red cheeks and glassy eyes.

You nodded, biting your lip before finally locking eyes with Obi-Wan, "Please take care of him... I have a terrible feeling Obi-Wan."

"I will," Obi-Wan smiled, gently reaching out and allowing you to place your hands in his before pulling you closer, "I'll make sure he stays out of trouble. He has a new Padawan to train, after all. But besides that..." Obi-Wan's voice dropped, his gaze growing softer as he squeezed your hands, "You know I'd do anything for you."

You nodded, listening as Qui-Gon ordered Obi-Wan to head to the ship, and with one last playful goodbye, you watched him leave, followed soon by everyone else. You stood on the pad, watching as the ship rose and left, the terrible feeling in your stomach growing with each second.

Nobody called you. For the next few days, nobody called you, and it only worsened the terrible feeling, making you nauseous as you waited patiently for the ship to arrive. You'd been told briefly by Yoda that they were returning, yet the pain on his face confirmed your thoughts. Something was wrong, and you weren't sure what, but you'd felt the pain and dread that filled you yesterday, and now Yoda was looking at you with remorse as he watched you waiting from his tower.

You couldn't maintain your focus as the ship landed, frozen still as you waited. You watched each person that exited, waiting for the two familiar faces you wanted to see so badly. Obi-Wan descended the ramp, his eyes lifting from the ground to lock with yours. Instantly tears filled your eyes, a hand flying to your mouth as Obi-Wan rushed to you.

"No..."

You collapsed into Obi-Wan's chest without a second thought, throwing your arms around him as sobs racked through your body. He attempted calming you, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist and the other stroking your hair. Obi-Wan panicked slightly, feeling immediately it was all his fault. Your pain was his fault. If he'd just been slightly faster he could've saved his master, your uncle.

"Please... Obi-Wan... tell me no," You cried, burying your head into his chest as his grip tightened.

"It was a sith, the same who attacked him previously," Obi-Wan whispered, not caring about the looks anyone gave you, "I killed him. I killed the sith right after. I... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't faster."

Nobody could remove you from Obi-Wan's side, not even Yoda, who was forced to allow you to sit in while he spoke to Obi-Wan about Anakin. You were distraught and terrified at the idea of seeing your uncle's body later. Obi-Wan comforted you, an arm around you the entire day until the ceremony rolled around.

You'd separated from Obi-Wan briefly, and when you returned to Qui-Gon's funeral, Yoda himself almost cried. You stood over Qui-Gon's body, a hand gently brushing his cheek, your mother's Jedi robe caressing your body. Just for a second, Yoda believed he was seeing your mother's spirit. You looked so identical, and the soft click of Yoda's cane startled you, forcing you away from your uncle's body.

"Determination within you, I sense. Made a decision, you have," Yoda hummed, coming to your side.

You nodded curtly, your gaze on Qui-Gon, "I wish to become a Jedi, Master Yoda."

"Agree to your request, the council does. My Padawan, you will be," Yoda nodded, not needing to speak to any other members to know there would be no defiance. 

Yoda retreated to the back, watching your reaction as people filtered in, most not catching your attention until Obi-Wan walked in. You seemed to escape his gaze for a few moments, certainly because of the robe, before he rushed to your side. Yoda knew this was a potential problem, the connection the two of you held, but that was a problem for the future.

The future seemed to bring many problems for you. Your days quickly molded into becoming nothing but training. You barely spent time sleeping. Both you and Master Yoda determined to bring you up to speed. Despite everyone in the council loving your decision to become a Jedi (especially Obi-Wan), they had all disagreed with the idea of you becoming a Jedi-Knight within five short years. 

However, Yoda insisted you were ready, and you passed the trials with such ease it'd seemed like you'd been training for years. Which of course, lead to many Jedi accusing you of training illegally under Qui-Gon. But it wasn't anything like that. Yoda and Obi-Wan were amazing when it came to training you. They were patient and worked with you consistently, over and over. You knew there was no way you would've become a Jedi-Knight had you not had their help.

"So?" Obi-Wan asked when you returned to your shared apartment, "Did you pass?"

Slowly, you lifted the hair on your right side to reveal that your Padawan braid was no more. He smiled widely, leaping up and pulling you into his chest. You smiled back, squeezing Obi-Wan as he spun you around gently. 

You still weren't used to everything. Obi-Wan and you had decided to get an apartment together after Qui-Gon's passing, insisting that living together helped your coping. Of course, it was a two-bedroom, and you stayed in separate rooms, and just Obi-Wan's presence truly did help you.

Once Obi-Wan sat you down and pulled back, a huge smile on his face as you stared up at him. A moment passed as you struggled to get a grip on your thoughts. You gulped, eyes flicking around the room as you kept your hands linked at the back of Obi-Wan's growing hair. You liked it longer. You felt it suited him, not that you didn't like it short.

"Obi-Wan?" Your voice was small, fragile in the air as the slightly older boy stared at you.

"Yes?"

"Do you think he's proud of me?" 

Obi-Wan's heart melted at the worry in your eyes, the worry that your uncle wouldn't be proud of you after everything you'd done. His hands drifted from your waist and up to cup your cheeks, pulling your face just slightly closer as he leaned down. He wanted nothing more than to wipe your ever-growing tears, but that could wait. The most important thing for Obi-Wan right now was to make sure you understood that there was no possible way for Qui-Gon to be even the slightest bit disappointed in you.

"(Y/n), I have not a single doubt that he's proud of you. He was before he passed, and I'm sure he's proud now," Obi-Wan reassured you, his smile growing as you nodded, "I know Master Qui-Gon wishes he was here with us, to see you become a Jedi Knight, but regardless he is incredibly proud."

You giggled softly, leaning forward just the slightest bit, so your nose touched Obi-Wan's, "I just worry sometimes, that maybe I'm not doing enough," You paused, gasping a quiet breath when Obi-Wan nudged your nose with his again, "Thank you Obi-Wan... I... I couldn't have done any of this without you. I'd be lost, truly."

Your gaze flicked down to your connected noses and back up to Obi-Wan's blue eyes. Yet, it felt like it was the first time you ever looked at Obi-Wan. You felt like you were a small kid again, peeking out from under your uncle's robe to see two big blue eyes looking at you with a huge smile. Blue eyes and a smile that promised to be your best friend, promised to stay by your side... 'as a loyal Jedi should'. And now, as you stared into those same eyes, you felt the urge to be so much more than what he promised.

You tilted your head up, mushing your lips against Obi-Wan's and leading the kiss as he froze in shock. Was he dreaming again? Was he about to wake up alone in his bed once more? The squeeze you gave to the back of his neck told him otherwise... that this most definitely wasn't a dream. Suddenly, he was dropping his hands from your cheeks, looping them around your waist and pulling you flush against him as he took control of the kiss.

It became a dance of lips and tongue, mumbling in an attempt to convey all the years of unsaid feelings even though no real words were being formed. It felt perfect. It felt like the force was exploding through the two of you, screaming that nothing could've been more right. There was no thought of the Jedi Code, no thought of the possibility of losing your titles. The only thought being formed was how not only your lips but your mind and soul seemed to connect at that moment together.

"I... that... we..."

"I've wanted to do that for so long," You laughed breathlessly, cutting off Obi-Wan.

He smiled, nodding in agreement as he placed a kiss on your forehead, "I adore you so much (y/n). I always have."

You mocked Obi-Wan's actions, nodding your confirmation as he placed another kiss closer to your temple now. It felt perfect. The life force flowing around the two of you was bursting with light, harmonious, and balanced perfectly. There was no need for words. You could feel one another projecting all the unsaid emotions. You were one, and suddenly a large smile broke onto your face as Obi-Wan continued to press light kisses all over your face.

You weren't worried about the possibility of losing your title. You didn't care what the Jedi Code had to say, and you certainly didn't care what the council thought. You felt complete, whole. And it was the first time you'd felt that way since losing your parents. You'd deal with the consequences later, when they made themselves truly known on their own accord and when it was time for Obi-Wan and you to make a decision.

"Do you think he's still proud of me?" 

Obi-Wan chuckled, kissing your nose before pulling back, "I think he'd want to kill me."

"It was a long time coming," You teased, making Obi-Wan nod.

"That, it was."

[butteerfly]

— Dating haikyuu!! boys ♡

headcanons 🦋

this was really difficult because in haikyuu all the boys are characters that you can't help but love, at least it's like that for me. So choosing a few was quite a challenge, anyway if you want a specific character that I didn't mention let me know ♡♡♡

kageyama tobio; tsukishima kei; nishinoya yuu; kozume kenma; ushijima wakatoshi (my boys) — fem!!reader

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

(I'm so in love with this pretty boy)

he is very sweet with you

The best part is that he doesn't realize this

Contrary to common thought, I think tobio is an excellent boyfriend

He always makes sure you get home safely after school, even ask the coach for a few minutes to say goodbye to you (I'm just crying as I imagine this)

You can't spend a lot of time together after school because he has his practices, but he always makes sure you sit next to him in class and have lunch with him.

always has your favorite strawberry milk in his backpack, just for you

He doesn't want you to go to practice because he's secretly a little jealous and he knows that as soon as they see you, Noya and Hinata are going to jUMp at you

The kind of boyfriend your parents love and yet he still gets nervous when he's with them

definitely bad for cuddles

He doesn't know how to hug or kiss you, he doesn't know if that's going to be okay for you or if you're uncomfortable, he never had a girlfriend before you

You always tell him what to do but it doesn't matter, he always blushes after all

forehead kisses are his favorites

He loves when his head rests on your lap and you play with his hair, he instantly relaxes

When you go to see him at one of the matches, his smile and blush never fade.

He loves to see the sparkle in your eyes when he sets the ball for the spiker

and when is he going to serve...

he knows that you know that's a direct point

You raise his ego a lot, it is inevitable 😔💕

You simply give him unshakable strength when he is more demoralized than normal.

always hugs you after a match, it doesn't matter if he lost or won, the others don't matter, only you in his arms

TSUKISHIMA KEI

dating him is amazingly fun

You are the couple that always teases each other in some way and is not bothered by this

Since you know each other you never stop laughing together and this is something he is aware of, he appreciates you very much despite not showing it so often

ok but no matter what your height is, he always teases you

The fact that your hands don't even cross behind his neck makes him laugh a lot

he's actually good for cuddles

He's the type of boy who always has a smirk on his face before kissing you

hands on your waist every time he hugs you

when i said he was good for cuddles i meant cuddles in the privacy of his room

because if you hug him or kiss him in front of the team or his family he BLUSHES

spoiler alert!!: you do it on purpose

if you wear his hoddies with dinosaurs he will die

He made a playlist with songs that remind him of you and songs that are important to both of you, but he named it "ant" because according to him, you are similar to them, small and insignificant 💀

he's good at killing romance

Despite that, he is the person who listens to you the most and pays attention to details.

When he sees you cheering for the team with one of his shirts he can't help but be a bit surprised, even though he doesn't want to accept it, you know that volleyball is important to your boyfriend

At first he is a bit distracted, but after thinking more clearly his blocks become the strongest iron wall

his favorite moment with you is in the afternoons when you both return home from school with the sunset in the distance and he holds your hand tight

You give him the peace of mind that he sometimes needs when his thoughts don't leave him alone.

NISHINOYA YUU

please let's talk about this man

he can't believe you love him

you are too perfect

you are his pretty girl

HIS pretty girl

whenever he thinks about it he CRIES

he takes you to practices and matches just so everyone knows he has a girlfriend, a very beautiful one

whatever you do (art, writing, sport, acting, singing, etc) he is very proud of you

dating Nishinoya is actually an adventure

he is a very effusive person and never stays in his comfort zone

he will try to do whatever he likes and catches his attention, nobody can stop him

This also applies to you

your dates are weird

he invited you to his house just to cook and taste sour food -u both almost set the house on fire-

he took you to TOKYO just to go to Alice in Wonderland's cafe

You still remember the day you asked him for your notebook and he handed you his backpack, but when you opened it, many bags full of gummies came out everywhere

you don't know what to expect from this boy and that's why you love him

he is a very loving person by nature

his hands will always be on your waist, always wants to feel you close

the warmth in his chest that you make him feel no one else does

he loves when you kiss him surprisingly, he will follow the kiss immediately

even when all he wants to do is rest, he lets you sleep on top of him

when you call him super libero he really feels like one, even if he is very tired

you are one of the biggest pillars of his motivation and the best person he could meet ♡

KOZUME KENMA

Before dating, he was very shy with you and could never talk to you if Kuro was not with you

not because he didn't want to, the words got a lot on his tongue and he didn't know what to do in front of you

kuro clearly helped this boy

you had to confess first but that doesn't really matter because from that day on you are both very happy

You don't know how to explain it, but you both have a strange telepathy, you always know what the other is thinking or going to say.

You can't lie to him, he always ends up finding out

your dates are in the arcades and buying a lot of rare KitKat to test them with Kuro

and you only have dates when you make sure you have all your homework done because sometimes you forget about school 💀

you always try new dyes in your hair and he always helps you

he knows that you don't do it to like him

however he likes you a lot no matter what you do

you are the only person with whom he seeks physical contact very often

He doesn't know why but kissing you always feels very good for him

when he kisses you, his whole body relaxes

kisses you whenever he can

love to see the blush on your face

you love when your boyfriend talks to you about a new game, he looks so excited it makes your heart melt

If you are not very good at playing a video game he will help you without hesitation

you can never beat him, after all he taught you

you guys always end up playing until 8 in the morning on weekends, please get some sleep 💀

He loves when you sit on his lap and he can cross his arms around your waist, he would stay there all day because there is no more calm and peace than that moment

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI

he is a big teddy bear

whenever he can and has time, he listens to you carefully

Every time he doesn't understand something you say to him, he will ask Tendo with genuine confusion in his voice.

You are one of the few people that he really pays attention to and cares

he is not good at interpreting the feelings of others and the way he does not understand everyday things between your friends makes you laugh

he is a big baby

you are his wallpaper

Whenever he hugs you from behind, he leans his chin on your head, he saw it in other couples and he found it cute

He loves to see you with his shirts because they fit you better than him

He is struck by the way you dress, he says it is very striking and cute

The kind of boyfriend who would take you out to eat at restaurants

always makes sure you eat really well and exercise because he says the body needs it, even if he is away

The best thing about dating him is that he does not feel embarrased if you kiss or hug him in front of someone, he does not care what others think at all

He feels embarrased of the fact that he always thinks about kissing you, and that never happened to him with anyone

He does not think about it too much either, if he wants to kiss you, you want to and you are at the right time, he will simply do it

No matter what your personality is, he is attracted to you, he always says things that he never thought he would say to someone who is not Tendo

The truth is that you are as important to him as volleyball, and when you go to see him at matches without notifying him, he just freezes for a second.

Your stuning smile and the euphoria on your face makes his whole body go beyond his capabilities, he feels unstoppable when you are there smiling for him

He does not understand much even about his own feelings, but the hours after the game, when you are next to his tired body, lightly caressing his face, make him feel very happy.

🦋🦋🦋

well ... I didn't like this headcanon so much, but I didn't hate it either, I hope you like it more than I do ;)

[megsironthrone]

Dinner

Based off this request:  heyy, i think your writing is amazing !! i was wondering if you could do a request for your game of thrones book with Podrick Payne, i know you asked for a story line so i was thinking the reader would be a lannister and the youngest daughter of tywin (but she’s closer to Pod’s age) and she’s know as being the golden child of the lannisters and everyone loves her because she’s super sweet and caring but she’s smart and intelligent like the rest of them. I was thinking that even though everyone loves her she’s really close with tyrion, bronn and Pod and all of them have dinner together as close friends where they aren’t formal and make jokes and enjoy each other’s company but Pod is a blushing mess who stumbles over his words and all that but the reader is confident and it’s all fluffy and heart felt like that, maybe it ends with a kiss or something, i’m not sure i’m not so good with writing !! anyway if you don’t want to write it or can’t get around to it i totally understand just thought i’d ask anyway, i still enjoy your other stories!

Here you are! I love writing awkward fluff. *Familiar Characters are NOT mine!*

Warnings: A little awkwardness, FLUFF! Mentions of alcohol.

Pairings/Characters: Podrick Payne x fem!Lannister reader

There was an odd duck in every family. In House Lannister, it was you. It wasn't that you were really odd. You were just different than the others in your family. You were as intelligent as the rest of your family. You could be cunning and had a strategic mind like them. The difference was how you used your mind. You used it to solve the problems of others instead of searching for power or knowledge. You were sweet and cared about others more than the rest of your family.

         That didn't mean they didn't love you. In fact, they did. You were close with many people in the Red Keep, but none more than your older brother Tyrion, his friend Bronn, and his squire Podrick. The four of you had weekly suppers where the wine flowed and the laughter was plenty. They were your favorite times of the week. Especially on nights like tonight.

         You weren't drinking as much as Tyrion and Bronn, but that didn't stop them from poking fun at poor Podrick. He drank a little too, but when he drank, he became a blushing and stuttering mess. Well, more of one than he normally was around you. You thought it was utterly adorable and decided to tell him so.

         Tyrion and Bronn had both reached the point where they had too much to drink. They were both slumped over the table, snores echoing through the room. You and Podrick sat next to each other where you continued talking and laughing at the two of them. Podrick's cheeks were tinted pink and his brown eyes kept swinging over to you when he thought you weren't looking. It was clear that at least some part of him wanted to forget that outside of your personal spaces, you were a lady and he was a squire. You wanted that too. You wanted Podrick to be yours and only yours. And you had  habit of going for what you wanted, consequences be damned.

         "What?" you asked him. His cheeks got darker and he mumbled something. You asked again and he said a little louder, "You're beautiful." You felt your own face heat up, but you didn't say anything at first. Despite the fact that you had an idea that Podrick had feelings for you, hearing him say them made you giddy.

         "I should go. Lord Tyrion will need me in the morning," he muttered, moving to rise. Your hand moved of its own accord, shooting out to grab Podrick's gently. "Wait. Please." Podrick's eyes met yours. You nearly melted under his gaze when he sat back down. You licked your lips, cheering inside when his eyes instantly darted down to them.

         "I think you're beautiful too, Podrick." Podrick laughed and shook his head, but you were adamant. "You are! You're so handsome. And charming. Kind. Witty. You have a beautiful soul, Podrick Payne." You were proud that, in spite of your drinking, you hadn't lost any of you confidence or eloquence.

         Podrick merely stared at you for a moment as if he were trying to take in all that you had said. You giggled slightly before reaching up to run your fingers through his hair. It was softer than you had imagined. Podrick practically preened under your touch for a moment before clearing his throat. He gingerly took your hand to remove it from his hair. "My lady-Y/N. T-This isn't right." You arched a brow. "Y-You're a lady. I'm just…just a squire."

         "Oh shut it with that. You know I've never cared about that. You mean more to me than just my brother's squire. I love you, Podrick." You both froze. You hadn't meant to say that out loud. Your eyes met again. Podrick's brown irises were swirling with a mix of confusion, surprise, and pure adoration. It gave you the boost you needed to repeat yourself. "I love you." You gripped his hand a little tighter to emphasize that you were serious.

         Podrick gave you a sad smile. "I-I thought…I mean, I had hoped that you felt the same. But we can't, Y/N. I mean, my lady." You let out an annoyed sigh. "Podrick, do you love me?" He instantly nodded his head. "Very much." You smiled as you slid a little closer to him. "And I love you. Behind these doors, we aren't Lady Y/N or a squire. We're just Y/N and Podrick, two people who love each other. I want to be with you, Podrick. I don't care what anyone else has to say about it. I want this if you do."

         "I do, but-" you cut him off by placing your free hand on his cheek. He nearly stopped breathing, as if his mind couldn't catch up to the fact that you were so close. "No 'buts'. Even if we have to keep it a secret, I want to explore what this is. This is my choice. You are my choice. Am I yours?"

         A particularly loud snore caused you to jump, breaking up the staring contest you were having. Podrick took that opportunity to rise and offered his hand to help you up. "We should go." Your heart sank to your feet. You weren't used to this type of heartbreak. As you and Podrick walked down the corridors, you felt unbidden tears pricking your eyes.

         Outside your chambers, you tried to run into your room without looking at Podrick. You needed to be away from him. But his hand on your arm stopped you. "Y/N?" You faced him, tears streaming down your face. Podrick frowned. He reached up to dry your tears. His touch was so gentle, it sent a shiver through you. "Don't cry, my Y/N," he whispered.

         "How can I not? Y-You don't want to take a chance on us." It was Podrick's turn to look confused before a soft smile made its way to his face. "I didn't get the chance to answer you," he said softly, taking a step closer to you. You were trapped between him and the door to your chambers. He leaned in closer to lean his forehead on yours.

         "You are my choice, Y/N. You will always be my choice." He placed a feather-light kiss to your forehead and then to your cheek. "Podrick?" He hummed in response. "Come inside?" His eyes widened comically, making you giggle in the dark, empty corridor. "Nothing like that. Although, I would like to experience what Baelish's girls did some day, I just…I just want you to hold me for now."

         Podrick grinned and nodded, prompting you to open your chamber door. Not wanting him to be uncomfortable, you kept your dress on as you pulled him toward your bed. As soon as you were lying down, he wrapped his arms around you. You felt his lips on the top of your head. "I love you," he breathed out. His breath tickled and made another shiver run down your spine.

         You looked up at him. "I love you, too." The hand that wasn't wrapped around you came up to cup your cheek. He lightly ran his thumb across your skin. You couldn't pull your eyes away from his even if you wanted to. The only time you did was when closed them as your lips finally met for the first time. And when they did, you weren't sure you'd ever want to stop.

(a/n: I hope you like it!)

Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard​ @brewsthespirit-blog​ @etherealpotter​ @line-viper​ @frozenhuntress67​ @cd1242​ @gruffle1​ @smalltownbigheart​ @igotmadskills​ 

ALL TAG LISTS ARE OPEN!

[maria-scribbles]

we’re just like kevin bacon!

prompt: for @bricksatanakinswindow​ ‘s halloween writing challenge! this was initially inspired by "mortal enemies accidentally showing up in matching costumes every fucking year" but once i started writing it kind of snowballed from there and i ended up with this lmao

ship: jj maybank x fem!reader

word count: 4.6k+ (i think this is the shortest thing i’ve ever written lol)

warnings n stuff: childhood enemies to lovers, swearing, mention of underage drinking, halloween shenanigans, makin' out, smut (not too explicit but i still think it's spicy enough to need an 18+ warning), jj and the reader being cute lil nerds and quoting movies back and forth, the author blatantly using some of her personal favorite movies/shows as inspiration for costumes, the author also making her opinions on ghostbusters clear (instead of the human trash can peter venkman, stan the adorable dork known as ray stantz for clear skin)

a/n: this was hella fun to write and i already have so many more halloween fic ideas bouncing around in my head (it's spoopy season, y'all!). title of this fic comes from guardians of the galaxy 😊

Of three things in life you were certain.

One, you loved Halloween more than any other holiday of the year; after all, you and your twin brother Mason were born just after one AM on October 31st so you could say a penchant for all things spooky was in your blood.

Two, Sarah Cameron was your best friend. Being neighbors your whole lives, the two of you were thick as thieves and spent almost every day together, much to the annoyance of both your brother and hers; as much as you loved Mason, sometimes you wished Sarah was your twin instead of him and you knew without question the blonde girl would trade Rafe for you in a heartbeat (with little to no guilt, in fact.). 

And three, you absolutely hated JJ Maybank. You'd been at the top of each other's shit lists ever since you were both six years old, when he made fun of you for the stutter you'd had back then and you dumped a full milkshake over his head as payback, and even as time passed and you grew out of your stutter, your disdain for the blond pogue only grew stronger. He was infuriating, plain and simple, and the mere mention of his name made steam come out of your ears. 

The boy was just good at being annoying and seemed to love pushing everyone's buttons, yours especially, and always found ways to get under your skin without fail every single time your paths crossed (which was way too often for your liking, but running in the same friend group made it hard to avoid each other). It became an unspoken thing, the great Y/L/N-Maybank feud, with both of you trying your hardest to piss the other off until one of your mutual friends or your brother broke it up and pulled you to opposite corners of the metaphorical ring to take a breather before the next round.

You'd never admit it but deep down you kind of liked it. You liked being at the center of his attention (granted, it was antagonistic in nature but it was attention all the same), his bright blue eyes following your every move whenever you were within his sights and you liked that you were in his thoughts even when you weren't around, a fact proven to you by the tiny notebook Kiara carried around in her pocket recording how many times he mentioned your name. Knowing you lived rent free in his mind brought you an embarrassingly high level of satisfaction that you'd absolutely deny feeling if anyone ever asked, just as you'd deny the fact that he lived rent free in your mind, too.

...At least for most of the year. Everyone, including JJ, knew that to you Halloween was a damn-near sacred time. He knew never to mess with you during the weeks leading up to the holiday and definitely never on the day itself, lest he want yet another milkshake dumped over his blond head. He knew that, the whole damn island knew he did and yet...somehow, some way, he managed to get your blood boiling every. single. year. And you, like a masochistic idiot, let him. 

It all started when you were twelve.

You, Mason, and your friends were finally old enough to go to the annual youth party held on the sprawling lawn of the Island Club, an event you'd been looking forward to attending every Halloween since you were eight. Of course, you were excited for the dancing and games and food but the thing you couldn't wait the most for was the costume contest, a chance to show off your skills and prove to everyone on the island that Y/N Y/L/N was the undisputed queen of Halloween.

So what if your hopes were a little too high (considering you were only twelve and going up against kids ranging from your age to fifteen), you were still gonna give it your all; you spent weeks perfecting not only your costume but your brother's as well with your mom, helping her cut fabric and sew zippers, styling wigs and painting props until everything was perfect. 

"Oh my God, Y/N!" Sarah, dressed as Cinderella, yelled from the passenger seat of her dad's SUV when they swung by to pick you up. "You look amazing!"

"So do you!" You said, slipping into the back seat in between a miserable-looking Rafe as Sarah Sanderson ("I lost a bet," he explained with a scowl) and Mason, holding your mini R2-D2 on your lap. Was it kind of cheesy, dressing up as the most iconic twins in movie history? Probably, but you really didn't care because Leia Organa was a total boss bitch and Mason was practically over the moon that he got to be his ultimate silver screen hero and swing around his very own lightsaber as Luke Skywalker.

"The Force is strong with you two." Ward joked, earning an eye roll from both of his children as he drove to the Island Club to drop you off. Rafe immediately disappeared into the crowd to meet up with Topper and Kelce and the three of you went off to find your own friends, skirting around the edge of the party toward the snack tables, also known as the most likely place for them to be.  

You spotted Kiara first, looking like an actual princess in her Tiana costume and waved, smiling when she waved back and beckoned you over as she said something to Pope, dressed as Albert Einstein, that made him start laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" You asked, reaching between them to grab two handfuls of pretzels and immediately dropping one into your brother's outstretched palm, careful to keep the sleeve of your white dress away from the bright orange-iced cupcakes on the table. 

The two of them exchanged a look that instantly made you realize something was Up™ but before either of them could answer, Mason asked around a mouthful of pretzels, "Where're Tweedledee and Tweedledum?"

"J, why didn't we think of that?" John B's voice came from somewhere over your shoulder and when you turned to face him, you nearly dropped both the droid cradled in the crook of your elbow and the snacks in your hand. Not because of John B and his hilarious Chewbacca costume but because of the fact that JJ Maybank, the one person you hated the most on the whole entire island, was dressed as Han freakin' Solo. 

"Yikes." Someone muttered behind you -it sounded like Sarah but you weren't really sure- and Mason nearly choked on his pretzels as he tried and failed miserably to keep himself from laughing. 

"You've gotta be kidding me." You huffed, rolling your eyes as JJ crossed his arms and glared in your direction, blaster hanging from the holster on his hip.

"Listen, Princess, I'm not too happy about this, either."

"Oh, shut up, you nerfherder."

"Who you calling-" Mason and John B cut in and pulled you both in opposite directions before either of you could turn it into a shouting match, your brother physically grabbing you around the waist and carrying you off while the latter caught the back of JJ's vest and dragged him away. Despite their best efforts to keep you apart, you ran into each other more times than you could count and spent a minute or two squabbling like cats and dogs each time until one of them intervened once again. It was childish, it was immature, and it was fun, even though you'd never, ever admit it. Ever.

You didn't win the costume contest that year in the way you'd imagined at all. Still, first place in the group category was a win in your book and it felt good, even if one of the members of your unintentional Star Wars posse was someone who tested every bit of patience you had. The four of you split the cash prize and you went home 25 bucks richer, stashing it away for next year's costume and pushing the thought of accidentally matching with your mortal enemy from your mind. 

You had no idea this thing was only just beginning.

The next year, you let Sarah and Kiara convince you to match with them and the three of you rolled up to the party as the Pink Ladies -you as Rizzo, Sarah as Sandy, Kiara as Frenchy- only to run right into the boys, your brother included, dressed as the T-Birds. John B, perfectly in character as Danny, immediately whisked Sarah off to dance while Pope, the most adorably awkward Doody you'd ever seen, went to grab some snacks with Kiara, leaving you stuck with the bane of your existence as, of course, fucking Kenickie (Mason, as Sonny, dipped sometime before then without you noticing). The two of you spent the whole evening glaring at each other and hurling insults back and forth at breakneck speed, more in character than either of you'd ever want to acknowledge and for the second year in a row, you won first place in the group costume category.

At fourteen, you went as Princess Buttercup and JJ showed up as Westley, fake sword in hand as he followed you around all night like an annoying fly, sarcastically drawling "as you wish" every time you so much as glanced in his direction. Your brother, dressed as Inigo Montoya, nearly pissed himself laughing and you wanted to snatch both of their prop swords and shove them up their asses. You came in first again in the group costume contest and begrudgingly split the prize three ways. 

At fifteen, you worked hard on a Dr. Ellie Sattler costume from Jurassic Park, he strolled in as a disheveled Dr. Alan Grant with mud splattered boots and tattered clothes, and you really regretted not taking the offer to be the Tai to Sarah's Cher and Kiara's Dionne. Once again, Mason laughed so hard his face turned red and you were tempted to grab the sword he was holding and beat him over the head with it, not just for laughing at you but also for the completely atrocious Jack Sparrow costume he wore. To your absolute horror, you and JJ won the contest in the duo category and you wanted to melt into the ground when they called you onto the makeshift stage to collect your reward. 

When you were sixteen, you and your friends "graduated" to the party held for the older teens inside the club itself. With costume rules a little more lax than they were for the younger kids, you decided to go as (an only slightly sexy) Janine Melnitz, complete with a prop telephone you answered every so often with a loud "Ghostbusters, whaddya want?!" much to the embarrassment of Mason, who was once again dressed as Luke Skywalker, this time in the fatigues he wore while training on Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back.

You strutted into the party in your heels and pencil skirt only to nearly fall flat on your face when you caught sight of JJ in a terrible black wig and glasses, proton pack strapped to his back and 'Spengler' printed on the front of his jumpsuit. Your brother winced when you all but screeched "Again?!" right into his ear and grabbed your elbow, dragging you over to an empty table and depositing you into an open chair.

"There's no way this is a coincidence anymore! He could've picked Venkman, with all the womanizing and lowkey being a creep and thinking he's God's gift to mankind? It would've been the perfect choice! He's not nearly adorable or dorky enough to be Stantz or sassy enough to be Winston-"

"Jesus, you have a lot of feelings about Ghostbusters," Mason muttered, rolling his eyes when you shot him a withering glare.

"Shut up! Listen to me, there's no way in hell Maybank randomly decided to be, out of alllll the 'Busters, Egon fuckin' Spengler, okay? He had to have somehow known I was coming as Janine and did it just to piss me off!"

Your brother heaved a deep, heavy sigh that made you want to smack him and fixed you with a deadpan stare. "Or, have you pulled your head out of your own ass long enough to think that maybe you're just becoming...predictable?"

You really did smack him then, hard on his exposed shoulder and he yelped, scowling as he rubbed at the red mark you left behind. "Ow! What the hell, bitch?!"

"Don't you dare call me predictable, you dickhead! I pride myself on my costumes being very unique and unexpected -you know, out of the box!"

"Hate to break it to you but they're not really out of the box if Maybank shows up in a matching one every single year." He said with an infuriating, shit-eating grin, patting your shoulder before straightening the plush Yoda strapped to his back. "I'm gonna go get some food, wanna come with?"

Still miffed at his comment, you shoved his arm away and glanced down at your lap, ignoring your brother's sassy "your loss" as he headed toward the snack tables. Not even a minute passed by before his empty seat was taken and you groaned when you looked up to see who it was, your eyes meeting a pair of bright blues behind tacky, oversized glasses. 

"Hi, Janine."

"...Egon."

The two of you sat in silence after that, watching the dancing crowd under the flashing neon lights and sparkling disco ball until you saw him turn to face you out of the corner of your eye.

"Why Janine?" 

"Huh?" You turned to face him, too, one eyebrow raised in a perfect arch as he gestured toward your costume.

"Why did you dress up as Janine, Y/L/N?"

"I've always liked her sassiness and 'I like to play racquetball.'" You offered a casual shrug of your shoulders and carefully stuck a finger under your wig to scratch an annoying itch above your ear. "Why'd you pick Egon, Maybank?"

"He's my favorite." He answered simply with his own shrug, shooting you a genuine, real smile that you, for who knows what reason, found yourself returning without a second thought. "Smart, hilarious -plus, 'I like to collect spores, mold, and fungus.'"

For the first time in your life, your eyes rolled out of amusement and not annoyance at something that JJ Maybank said and, to your complete surprise, it kind of felt...right. "Really? I'd have pegged you for a Venkman stan."

"Are you kidding? He's the worst!" 

Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think you'd sit across from your hated enemy, not only having a civil -hell, downright enjoyable- conversation but actually smiling right along with him, laughing at his jokes and doing your best to ignore the sudden flutter in your stomach each time you caught sight of his slightly crooked teeth when he grinned. You didn't even notice when your brother returned with Kiara, dressed as Moana, at his side and two heaping plates of snacks in his hands until his chair scraped gratingly across the hardwood floor. 

"Kie, are you seeing this? Pigs must be flying 'cause they're actually smiling at each other." Mason said, cackling as Kiara turned to squint out the window.

"Yeah, I think I see one or two soaring around out there." She giggled and sent a mischievous wink in your direction. With your face feeling like it was on fire, you flipped them both the bird and took off, disappearing into the crowd and leaving all your traitorous, confusing thoughts about JJ behind with the boy himself; it was Rafe's last party at the Club and he owed you a dance anyway, but even as your best friend's older brother, cute as hell in his Thor costume, playfully twirled you around the floor to the Ghostbusters theme song, you felt more than your partner's blue eyes on you.

To no one's surprise, you and JJ won the duo category for the second year in a row and when you joined him onstage to collect your prize and didn't feel like you'd rather die than be up there by his side, you suddenly realized you were only certain about two things in life instead of three. 

At seventeen, you were confident you and JJ wouldn't be matching for once (after last year, though, you were kind of thinking it wouldn't be that bad of a thing). You'd gone cult classic for your costume, pulling inspiration from your mom's favorite move, 1999's The Mummy, and put together a screen-accurate Evelyn Carnahan in her iconic black dress, including a handmade Book of the Dead and matching key. You blackmailed Mason with pictures of him, drunk as a skunk and dressed in your Janine costume from the previous year, and got him to go as Jonathan, complete with a pith helmet and prop bottle of The Glenlivet.  

But, as always, JJ managed to surprise you. You literally ran right into his chest and if it wasn't for his arms instantly wrapping tight around your waist, you would've bit it hard.

"Whoa, careful there," He said, one hand keeping you close while the other moved to help you hold the book in your arms. "'The Book of the Dead? Are you sure you wanna be messing around with this thing?'"

Of course he'd make the perfect Rick O'Connell, you thought as you playfully raised one eyebrow and curled your fingers around the strap of the gun holster draped over his shoulder. "'It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.'"

Mason was a little too in character as well as he dramatically rolled his eyes and wandered off, muttering "puh-lease" under his breath and shooting Sarah a conspiratorial wink that you didn't see. The blonde girl glanced between the two of you -arms still around each other and identical smiles on your faces- and grinned. The party flew by in a blur of movie quotes, laughs, and more dances than you could count and by the time you made it home, 50 bucks in the pocket of your dress and another group costume win under your belt, you were almost positive you never actually hated JJ Maybank in the first place.

Now at eighteen, you pulled out all the stops for your last party at the Island Club. You'd spent the last few months slaving over your costume, sewing custom pieces, hand-crafting your prop, and spending way too much money on body makeup and a wig but when you saw the final product in the mirror, you knew it was all worth it. You were ready to slay the competition this year and take home first place for the final time.

Mason, indifferent as always about the contest but willing to do anything to keep those pictures from seeing the light of day, didn't protest one bit when you forced him into the matching costume you'd made for him -in typical Mason fashion, he liked that he didn't have to wear a shirt and could show off his muscles- and spent a few hours perfecting his makeup.

You felt on top of the world when you walked into the party that night as Gamora, a replica of her Godslayer sword in hand and skin painted a perfect shade of green, followed by your brother as Drax, already flexing for anyone and everyone looking his way. The rest of your friends came to win as well: John B and Sarah as Flynn Rider and Rapunzel, Kiara as Eleven, Pope as T'Challa, and, of course, JJ as Peter Quill, Baby Groot perched on his shoulder and twin blasters at his hips. 

"Lookin' good, Gamora!" He called over the music, shimmying his way over to you with some dance moves that would impress Star-Lord himself.

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Quill." You replied in a sing-song voice, even as you took his outstretched hand and let him pull you into the crowd of bodies hopping up and down to some terrible EDM beat under the twirling disco ball.

"It got you out here with me, didn't it?"

You rolled your eyes and hooked the sword to your belt before stepping closer and draping your arms around his neck, twirling your painted fingers in his hair. "Just remember, 'I know who you are, Peter Quill. And I'm not some starry-eyed waif here to succumb to your pelvic sorcery.'"

You should've known you spoke too soon the second you saw the spark in JJ's eyes that all but screamed 'wanna bet?'

And that's how you found yourself in the middle of the single hottest make out session you'd ever had the pleasure of participating in an hour later: back pressed against the locked door of someone's deserted office, legs wrapped tight around his waist and his hands hooked under your ass, both your sword and his blasters abandoned on the floor at his feet, and he was either a sinfully good kisser or trying really, really hard to blow your mind.  

"I'm not gonna end up green after this, am I?" He mumbled against your mouth before trailing his lips along your jaw and you breathed a laugh, tightening your grip on his hair.

"This is professional makeup, dumbass. It's gonna take more than some kissing to smudge it."

"I'm down for some smudging if you are." 

You pulled him back for another kiss in response and gasped into his mouth when he walked across the room, one strong arm reaching out to sweep whatever was on the desk to the floor before setting you down on it.

"Confident, are we?" 

JJ smirked at your breathless question and the way you hooked your ankles around the backs of his thighs to pull him closer. "So is that a yes to the smudging?"

"Just shut up and kiss me." 

He did -very well, you might add- and you kissed him back, untangling your hands from his hair to slide them under his jacket instead; you helped him push it off his shoulders and it had barely hit the ground along with poor Baby Groot before your fingers were tugging his shirt from the waistband of his pants.  

"Someone's impatient." He teased, leaning back just far enough to let you pull it over his head and toss it somewhere behind you.

"Someone doesn't know how to stop talking." You whispered your reply low in his ear and then trailed your lips down his neck, smiling in satisfaction at the tremble in his voice when you kissed the purple mark you'd left behind earlier.

"N-never was very good at that." 

"'You should've learned.'"

"'I don't learn, it's one of my issues.'"

One of his hands gripped your wig, pulling your head back a little roughly -you'd have so been into that if it had been your real hair he pulled- and you winced at the way the bobby pins holding it it place tugged painfully at your roots. "Ow, not so hard!"

"Wait, what the fuck? I thought you were wearing a wig!" 

"I am but it's still pinned to my actual hair!"

"Sorry, but how the hell was I supposed to know that?"

The sight of JJ's face slowly turning red made the butterflies in your stomach go haywire and so you just shook your head, mumbling "don't worry about it," before pressing your lips to his once again. He was gentler this time with the pulling and you dug your nails into his bare shoulders at the thrill of his mouth against the exposed column of your throat, leaning back further and further until you laid flat on the desk.

His fingers had just unbuttoned your pants when your phone started to ring from your pocket, blaring the Star Wars theme you had set as your twin's ringtone. 

"Mason's timing is impeccable," JJ said sarcastically, chuckling as you clamped a palm over his mouth and answered the call.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Jesus, no need to be pissy!" Mason loudly replied over the applause crackling through the phone's speaker. "I just thought you'd like to know that we just won best group costume with Maybank. Again." 

The blond winked at the mention of his last name and pulled your hand away from his mouth, pinning it to the desk beside you with one of his while the other started tugging your pants down over your hips.

"Oh, that's cool, Mase-" You inhaled sharply when his lips touched the edge of your underwear, so close to where you wanted him most but at the same time so far away, and your fingers held your phone in a white-knuckled grip. "But I-I'm kind of in the middle of doing someone -something!- right now."

"Smooth," JJ said, not even trying to be quiet as he released your pinned hand to finish pulling your boots off, along with your tight leather pants that he casually tossed aside. "And I knew you weren't green under these!" 

Your laugh quickly turned into a gasp when his fingers hooked under your panties and pulled those off, too, and the touch of his tongue against the skin of your inner thigh sent white-hot lightning racing through your veins; the phone slipped from your grip, falling with a clunk onto the desk as your fingers tangled in his hair and he lifted one of your knees over his shoulder.

"Okay, I'm hanging up now! I already know you're getting laid but I don't need to hear it." Mason's loud grumble drifted up through the speaker and if you weren't so preoccupied with the boy between your thighs doing some downright wicked things to you with his mouth, you might've noticed that your brother didn't actually sound that grumpy before he ended the call and your phone's screen went dark, right as you lost control of your voice.

"Fuck me."

"Funny, I thought that's what I was doing?" You felt more than heard his response against you and a shiver ran down your spine when his bright blue eyes flicked up to met yours in the dim light of the office.

"You know what I meant, Maybank."

"Trust me, Y/L/N, I know. Question is: where do you want me?"

You tugged on his hair, grinning wolfishly at the way his eyes fluttered closed and a low moan rose from his throat. "Everywhere in this damn room, starting right here."

"I was hoping you’d say that.”

- Back at the party, Mason looked up and met Sarah's gaze, both of her eyebrows raised expectantly as she asked, "Well?"

He took his time slipping his phone back into his pocket before giving her a quick nod, grinning triumphantly when she immediately burst into gleeful giggles.  

"Yes! I just knew they had a thing for each other! Mortal enemies, my ass."

"I think that was the very first time in my sister's life that she didn't give a shit about the contest." Mason said and reached over to snag a cookie from her plate, chuckling when she pushed his hand away from the chocolate chip ones and toward the peanut butter. "We couldn't have pulled this off without you. I mean, making sure they showed up in matching costumes every year? Genius, Sarah. Absolutely genius." 

The blonde girl grabbed her own cookie with a wink. "Think they'll ever figure it out?"

Your brother just threw his head back and laughed. "I hope not! I wanna save that story for my best man speech at their wedding."

taglist: @sinkbeneathwaves @cordeliascrown @maysbanks @jjpogueprincess @jiaraendgame @alexa-playafricabytoto @sexualparkour @agirlwholovescoffee​ 

[bobathirstaccount]

Professional Hazards

Boba x fem!reader, smut

Reader is a bounty hunter disguised as a stripper to get close to the target. Boba is defending the target. Things get interesting.

TW: unprotected sex, slight exhibitionism

***

This was going to be an easy assassination, you thought as you got ready. A crime lord who can’t stay away from strippers. Just so happened you could pass for one. You had done what you considered to be extravagant prep for your job. Your nails, hair, and eyelashes were all done. You felt very feminine. It wasn’t a bad feeling. Getting the job was surprisingly stressful. Good thing you had learned a few pole moves.

The first thing you noticed when you walked out on the floor was the music. You hadn’t been expecting the volume level, so it was a little jarring. You walked around a little bit, taking stock of the situation. You casually walk by the VIP area. Boba Fett. What. Why was he here? You do a casual double take. There he was, at your target’s table. Kriff. The only thing to do was to talk to him. Try to figure out an angle. You ignored a patron trying to get your attention and walked toward Boba. As a stripper, you easily walked through security. You do your best to slink over to the table. Everyone is engaged in conversation, except Fett. He was sitting quietly, scanning the room. He appeared to eye you from under his helmet. You approach him, slowly, in what you hoped was a sexy manner. When you were close enough to touch him, you leaned over appealingly, “Want a dance, baby?”

Fett takes you in for a second,“No.”

Kriff. He wasn’t going to make this easy. You try again, “Come on baby..” you lean over to his helmet as if you’re about to whisper a secret in his ear. That’s exactly what you attempt to do, “What the fuck are you doing here, Fett?”

You pull back and smile sweetly, sitting down in his lap. He regards you quietly. You wrap your arms around his neck and pretend to nuzzle into him, “Fuck off. This is my bounty.”

He raises a hand then, grabbing you softly by the neck and pulling you towards his helmet. You comply, trying to figure out how to glare effectively at a helmet. “This bounty is under my protection. Now get out of here before I disintegrate you.” He releases you. You sit there, considering.

“Fett’s got a girlfriend finally!” Roared your bounty jovially. You turned to look at him, annoyed but smiling like an angel. “Ride him good girlie, he never lets loose!”

“I’m on the job,” Fett interjected.

“Nonsense, have some dances on me. Stay right where you are, girlie.”

You ponder your situation. On the one hand you were going to have to get through some dances. You were glad you had watched a few before your shift. On the other hand, you could have some fun with Fett. You decided to antagonize him as much as possible.

You turn around, shaking your hair down. You lean back and lift your left leg over Fett’s body so you are now straddling him.

The bounty roars again, “That’s it, give him a show!”

You smile sweetly while giving Fett dagger eyes. You lean forward, running a finger from the top of his helmet to the bottom. You then lick his helmet, tracing the line up the opposite direction. You are cheered on. You again go to whisper in his ear, “Motherfucker make me.”

You sit up, giving him bedroom eyes. You move your body rhythmically in front of him, running your hands over yourself. He faces straight ahead stiffly. After one song you realize you’ve got to start shedding clothing. You slowly pull off your dress during the next song. You curse him out at ever opportunity. You annoy him: You run your hands over his chest, scratching your new nails along his armor. You bat your long eyelashes. You press your tits against his helmet. You lick his helmet again for good measure.

A new song starts and you slowly start to undo your top. This was more than you bargained for, but it was oddly worth it to aggravate Fett. He effectively blocked this bounty. No one would get past him. How had no one had intel that Fett was his body guard? You were angry about wasting credits getting here.

You drop your top directly over his helmet. It stays for a moment before sliding off to one side. You play with your piercings momentarily. Maybe you were getting a little too into character. For your final trick, you decide to grind on him, just to see what would happen. You lower yourself down into his lap, letting your full weight sink into his lap for the first time since you had started your shenanigans. You felt what you thought might be some sort of belt accessory. Your eyes momentarily widened when you realized it was his erection. Your eyes flick up to his helmet and you smile sinfully. You grind around in a circular motion, moving your hands over your body. If you were going to do something, it was worth doing right. You put one hand on his sternum, then start slowly dragging it down, down, down to his cock - his hand grabs your wrist sharply and he pulls you up and forward. You lurch forward, disconnecting from his groin. You were really getting to him.

You allow the momentum to propel you forward enough so you could ‘whisper’ in his ear again. “Hot for me huh? Motherfucker you wouldn’t know what to do with this ass.” You bounce down into his lap for emphasis. The song ends, almost as if on cue. You gather up your clothing, to the adoration of the table. There’s a couple hoots in Fett’s direction. He sat impassively, motionlessly. Dollars are thrown your way. You almost let out an aggravated sigh - now you had to pick it up. You playfully work your way around the table, picking up singles and some twenties. Once you collect everything, you turn to Fett one last time. You let your hair fall forward so that only he can see you, and give him a nasty look.

Someone grabs your wrist and pulls you forward with enough force that you crash into Fett. It was Fett himself. He pulls your head down to his level by your hair, “Just make up the credits on the floor.” He stuffs 1,000 credits into you panties. You glare at him, unsure whether or not he was trying to be serious. You take off, adrenaline wearing off. You head to the back room and sit down in an empty area. You count your money to distract yourself. You almost got yourself killed by The Boba Fett because of your quick temper. At least now you had a story that guaranteed no one would believe.

***

You gathered with the other bounty hunters at Jabba’s Palace. Bib Fortuna and Boba Fett stood by his side. Boba was as impassive as ever, blaster in hand, watching the crowd. When everyone was ready, Fortuna called for order. He explained why you and the others had been called. You were to go after some small warlord’s family. It was to send a message. Of course there were more mercs here than needed. Healthy competition as well as to send a message: Do not interfere with Jabba’s plans.

After that Fortuna got to details. You were uninterested. They would all be in the puck anyway. Your eyes flick around the room, landing on Fett. You start; for a second it looks like he’s staring at you. Hilarious, you think.

When you are dismissed, you do not stick around to party. You grab a puck and head towards where your ship is docked. You turn corner after corner. It’s almost a maze.

Finally you know you are getting close, thanks to the signs on the walls. You turn another corner, and almost run into someone. You jump backwards into a fighting posture. You realize it’s none other than Fett. Before you can say anything, he says, “Hello again.”

You lower your arms halfway, unsure what is going on. “Hi.” You realize that he recognizes you, even though you now look nothing like what you did that night. There is a pause while you feel awkward and Fett just lets it ride.

“I was pissed about that,” you broke the silence.

“I had noticed.”

There’s another pause, then Fett shifts his weight from one foot to the other, “Let’s see if I know what to do with that ass.”

You make a confused noise, squinting your eyes as if that would help you to understand.

He repeats himself, taking one step closer to you. You drop your arms fully as he approached.

“Did you forget your parting statement?”

You swallow, “No, I remember.”

“Well?”

You look around, then look at him as if he’s stupid.

“After the show you put on you’re feeling shy now?” He asked, somewhat incredulous.

You consider this. Touché. Then you kept considering. You would call his bluff.

“Okay.”

He walks towards you quickly, closing the gap between you two. You are face to helmet with him. He turns you around and pushes you against the wall. He uses a foot to kick your feet apart, while he reaches around to undo your pants. Your mind spins. This is happening, and you are already well into it. You wonder at the fact that he has no qualms about the location. It’s too late to back out now. You made a deal with Boba Fett.

You put your hands against the wall, not knowing what else to do with them. Boba sticks a gloved hand down the front of your pants. He pets you through your underwear. You grow wet at this. He pulls his hand out and when it returns there’s no glove. This time he slides his hand beneath your underwear, to your pussy. He curls two fingers inside you, and you quiver. He plays with you for awhile, until you are dripping and squirming under his ministrations. You are focusing on not moaning, still worrying about uninvited guests. You’re not sure if you’re an exhibitionist.

Suddenly he pulls his hand out of your pants. You gasp. You feel your pants being tugged down to just below your ass. You bit your lip, anticipating. There is some rustling behind you, and then you feel his already hard cock against your ass cheek. He slaps you lightly with it and then pulls you by your waist a little further out from the wall. His cock slides between your legs, then he pulls up a little so that it connects with your pussy. You moan softly. He works his cock back and forth in your folds, hitting your clit lightly when he thrusts forward. You start to move with him, beginning to forget you are in a public area. Suddenly he slips his cock into you, splitting you open. Your eyes widen and you gasp at his size. He slowly finishes bottoming out in you, then pulls fully out. He repeats himself. He pumps into you then, slowly at first, but building up speed and power rapidly. You try to spread your legs a little wider, but they are held fast by your pants. You moan in frustration. He must have understood because he yanked your pants down to your knees. You spread a little wider, thankful. He reaches around and lightly rubs your clit, teasing it as he fucks you. You moan and put your hand over his, applying more pressure. He complies. The added friction drives you to new levels of pleasure, and you let Boba know by vocalizing. You think you hear him laugh, but can’t be sure.

He pulls you away from the wall and bends you over so you’re staring at your feet. He pounds down into you, still rubbing circles on your clit. You can feel your orgasm building quickly.

You vaguely hear a “Hey!!...” and turn your head. One of the other bounty hunters is standing there, hands raised, palms open to indicate there was no problem. Boba grunts and doesn’t even slow down. The man quickly retreats. Despite yourself you snort out a laugh. Boba ignores the entire situation. The pressure in your pussy continues to build.

You return your gaze to the dirty floor as the infamous Boba Fett fucked you in a hallway of Jabba’s Palace. Another story no one would believe. He grabs you by your hair and pulls you up in to a standing position. He pushes you into the wall, and using it for support he ruts into you. You face hurts from being slammed into the wall. Oddly you don’t mind. All you can focus on is your impending orgasm.

”Boba,” you pant. You’re so close.

He grunts in response. You writhe under him and give a high pitched moan. Then you cum on his cock as he’s deep inside you. He continues to fuck you but his thrusts are slightly less controlled. You moan, riding out your orgasm. Suddenly you feel Fett shudder behind you. He stiffens then slumps against you for a second. Then he is gone. You turn around, dazed. He has already readjusted himself. You hear a soft laugh. He pulls your pants up for you, and you put your hands on his strong upper arms, feeling him flex. After he has done up your pants, he brushes your hands off himself. He takes one hand to grab you by your chin. He squeezes.

“Don’t ever challenge me again.”

Your feisty personality rears its head, “You call that fucking?”

He seems to freeze, slightly dumbstruck. After a pause he says, “I like you.” He squeezes a bit harder, then drops his hand. You two stare at each other for a beat, then he turned away wordlessly. He turns the corner and is gone. You stand there, wondering if that really just happened. But he’s oozing out of you, so there’s your proof. You look around, then wonder why you’re just standing there. You continue back to your ship, a slight limp in your walk.

As you enter the take off sequence, you wonder what could possibly happen at your third meeting with Fett.

[dancing-the-hellfire-rumba]

I See You Clearly Now

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 0, babeyy. Complicated human relationships, maybe.

Word Count: 5.5k, once again, what the absolute fuck, who am I

Summary: An impromptu all nighter and a very domestic day with Sam who is- he’s a crush, right? Right?

A/N: This was basically me working through my emotions for a person in my life. I don’t-

Also, this was half because of an anonymous request I got the other day that wrote “please some sam winchester x reader but maybe an au with no creepy scary things” Here you go, hon. I’d argue complicated feelings are scarier than monsters, but whatever lights your candle :)

It’s four in the morning and she doesn’t particularly know when the decision was made to ignore the black night sky or the time, or how both Madison and her mutually agreed to it, but sleep is not close in the horizon. College life is exhausting, but this week was uneventful and slow, unmoving to the point of boredom. The beers in her fridge were staring angrily back at her, and her contacts seemed to anticipate her texts. Madison was the first choice, she hadn’t seen her in a while.

And where I go / Singing song of your affection / With rhymes to your perfection / Of you

I see you clearly now / I hold you dearly now / The sun is in my eyes (x)

Meeting arranged, hugs in hello and rosy cheeks, because her apartment is always warm, beers cracked open and drunk, and now Madison is on one of her white, comfortable lounge chairs, angrily ranting about Steve Rogers and Marvel. It’s that hour of the early morning when everything feels a bit gooey and intangible, stretched and fabricated, and there’s nowhere she’d rather be, content in defending a character she loves, warm, belly full of light alcohol and midnight-made crepes. Her cat moves loosely in the room, pointedly ignoring both humans, and Y/n’s cozy and happy to see the wild motions of her friend’s hands as she yells- the mild worry in the back of her head that she’ll find a note with a noise complaint taped on her door the next morning.

For all she cares, nothing could make this any better.

The night continues, laughter over Youtube videos and reality competition failures, repeated funny clips and belly-holding, more hurting of the cheeks from the laughter, more snacks, and she’s forgotten what that feels like in her never ending, break-neck-paced everyday life.

Time passes full of smiles and even more green cans of beer. Pyjamas are worn, sleeping bags are stretched on the floor over the fluffy grey rug, her cat seemingly having found a new enemy in the whipping of the sheets in the air. They laugh at her playing with them, until she settles on her little spot over her soft blanket. The girls stretch in their makeshift beds and they talk, texts are shot to other friends, also awake, selfies full of grins and-

“Sam says hello,” is all Madison has to say for Y/n to suddenly feel his absence in the room.

Sam. Of course.

“Gimme your phone.” Tipsy voice message with off-key singing sent. More happy smiles. A reply, a voice message of his own- “I’m glad you two are having fun. Where are you guys?”.

Y/n’s place, the reply is sent.

“Should I tell him to come by?” And Y/n has to hold her heart in steel hands to force it not to jump out of her chest and straight into her throat. Somehow, Sam always shows up when Madison calls, she thinks, a bitter taste in her mouth. Jealousy. Bottom lip bitten.

“Of course, if he wants to.” She hates to admit she’s excited to see him. Hates it, because she hasn’t talked to him in five months- not properly anyways- and the idea that Madison somehow is always in contact with him makes the familiar knife twist. The two had dated, sure, they’re friends now, a chemistry shared between them that’s inexplicable. It makes her wonder how two people can be so familiar with each other, how they can always be so fucking happy, bouncing off of each other, the sparks fly, people wonder why they broke up (Madison fell in love with someone else. Y/n doesn’t know how Sam reacted.)

Madison and her are friends, sure, but it seems everyone from that side of her friendships is close, but not enough to touch, so Madison never talked about it to her. Sam didn’t either. In fact Sam never even mentioned they’re dating. Sam never ever talks about his relationships. Not to her. He once told her, in that one phone call that lasted four hours until 6 in the morning, the one she can’t seem to forget, that he thinks his love life is nobody’s business. He’s vulnerable with it. Doesn’t share it ever with pretty much anyone (he’d share it with Madison, she thinks bitterly.) Sam, additionally, rarely answers her texts.

They’re in this weird limbo situation. She’d confessed her affection about a year ago, New Year’s eve and festive spirits, influenced by champagne and encouraging friends, and she’d received an “I wondered about us too, but I’m honestly in a weird place, unsure. I really enjoy your company, though, I think you’re really cool and I am very happy with how we are now. Friends.” No dice. She took it in stride. She’s fine with it. No really, she is. Over it.

Then Madison hooked up with him. That one hurt.

They’d talked about it- with Madison that is- because they’re friends, Madison had also been jealous -before Y/n’s confession, when Sam seemed sorta into her and things were going well- and had urged her to go for it. Y/n had shared the sentiment (“If you two end up doing anything, I’m fine with it, it’s really none of my business. You’ve been his friend for longer than I have.”) and she had really meant it. But then Sam didn’t want her, and he ran off in the sunset with Madison for a grand total of three months, and rotten feelings were there in every other step Y/n took.

Now though, she’s fine. Sam has a different pace than her, she knows it now, has come to terms with it. He’s such a gentle, loving creature, so caring and passionate and smart and kind, with those wonderful eyes and his soft hair and the scent that makes her weak in the knees. She’ll have him in her life if that means a single four hour phone call every six months and loose texts here and there- sent by her of course, because he rarely ever texts first for some infuriating reason, and she panics he’s gonna forget her. Other than that, she’s come to terms with the fact that they’ll always be distant friends, that she’ll admire him from afar and he’ll maybe think about her once a month.

He always seems so happy to see her, though. He’s so fucking difficult to decipher.

“He’s on his way.” Brought back to the present by Madison’s statement, Y/n sulks back in her seat, a small, excited smile crossing her features. She’s happy to see him. She missed him.

He’s making his way through the other side of town, though. He’ll be here in two hours just to see them, and her heart flutters.

Till then, Madison lays in her sleeping bag turns out the lights, Y/n’s cat stretches sleepily, and Y/n doesn’t fall asleep, anxious she won’t hear him ring her bell, won’t hear her phone or Madison’s at his call. She’s only slightly desperate.

Time has slipped to six in the morning. Y/n’s eyes are wide open, her head woozy from the fatigue and the alcohol, but, when the rug vibrates with the ring of Madison’s phone, she jumps. She jumps, and so does her heart, skips a beat, because he’s here and she hasn’t seen him since the summer and she just wants to hug him hello.

“Pst! Madison.” With a slap of her hand over her phone, Madison, in a lump on the floor, pulls the phone and balances it on the cut of her cheekbone, speaker over her ear, while her hand slumps back under the sleeping bag. Nelly- Y/n’s cat- blinks lazily, spooked by the sound of the phone call, but ultimately, not giving it much attention.

“Hm? Yeah. Mkay,” sleepy, mumbled words muttered into the phone. At least someone caught some shut-eye between them. “Bring some beers.” A small chuckle, a shake of her shoulders. “Oh yah.” Another laugh. “Hmph, buzzkill.”

Y/n is turning on a small light, just until the sun rises properly up the sky, because everything is currently a little dark still.

“Atta boy. We’re waiting for you.” Another short laugh. Madison hangs up  turns on her back, and her phone falls off her face as she stretches, smiles, arms slumping over her chest. She doesn’t offer much information about the phone call. Not ten minutes later, the doorbell rings.

Y/n stumbles, sheets tangling on her legs, nearly tripping, to buzz him in.

He walks up the stairs, and she sees his head rise over the edge of the top step, a crooked smile on his pretty lips and she smiles back brightly. Arms raised over his head, he shows a plastic bag, clinking glass inside, and he whoops slightly. Y/n grins, throwing a victorious fist in the air.

“The feast continues!” And Sam laughs, toothy and bright as the sun. Y/n attacks him with a hug.

Warm arms stretch around her, hold her close, warm and tight, and he still smells heavenly, like he showered before he left his house. He smells like freshly cleaned clothes and vanilla scented body wash, like the seat of his car, deodorant and a deep, musky smell she can’t quite place.

My God, she’s missed him.

Madison is still on the floor of Y/n’s bedroom, mumbling her hello and burrowing a little in her sheets. Sam kneels down and hugs her, and she hugs back. “Nice to see you, dick”

“Runt,” he replies with a nod, as if he tips off his hat to her. Carefully, Sam also kneels next to Nelly, scritches under her little chin and whispers his soft greeting, to which the cat responds with a low purr and the bending of her head to give him a little more room. Sam smiles, and Y/n can feel her eyes being shaped into comically large hearts.

“M’God,” Madison groans. “I wanna stay awake but ugh.” Y/n smiles gently.

“Go back to bed. I have an appointment with my therapist in four hours though.” Madison nods numbly.

“Wake me up in three and a half, I’ll leave.” Y/n and Sam share a look and the former shrugs.

“Okay.”

Madison shifts, puts her headphones on and shuts her heavy eyelids, pretty much instantly falling asleep. Y/n is running on battery saver mode, enhanced by the incredible amount of adrenaline Sam’s presence seems to bring.

She nods for him to follow her and grabs her laptop, dumping herself on her living room couch, Sam closing the bedroom door behind himself and following her lead. He deposits most of the beers in the fridge and keeps two, which he opens. Y/n watches his ease in her kitchen, even though he’s never been here before and her heart wiggles in content.

He sits next to her on the couch, keeping a barely there distance between them, as she pushes the screen open. Despite all the feelings that have manifested in her chest over the relatively short time she’s known him, Sam and her really hit it off since day one. She met him during a surprise party thrown for Madison. Sam brought the cake, Y/n the candles and the lighter, and other friends brought alcohol, plastic plates that were never opened and cutlery.

The whole group had waited under Madison’s building, singing a very cheerful happy birthday, loudly enough for their voices to grow hoarse, and for Madison’s eyes to roll back into her skull with a sheepish smile. They had walked to a park, sat down and feasted on the cake straight from the pastry box, yet Sam was talking with Y/n on the swings a little ways to the right, away from the cheerful company, talking about fond childhood memories, about his brother, about their favourite movies. Y/n felt it, felt her heart drooping low, the familiar feeling of wanting to impress someone, to be liked by them. Even then, under whatever stars could be seen in their city, she knew he was gonna be trouble.

Beer bottle passed, and she clinks hers on his cheekily, receiving a tip of his head and a half-smile in response. Decided sips. Bottles held against bent knees as they both fold them like pretzels. Small talk about college, about recent misadventures and drunken phone calls, and soon she gets the urge to fill their time with something.

“Movie?” she asks, and Sam just seems on board.

“What do you have?”

And he ducks close to her and checks out the titles. “Do you wanna watch Hamilton? I’ve heard it’s really good.”

“YES, Sam,” enthusiastic and loud. Sam grins. They settle back on the couch.

Fifteen minutes into the play, Y/n doesn’t even hesitate, doesn’t ask and doesn’t preface by saying anything. With all the naturalism that their relationship has, all the affection she knows Sam has to give, she scooches closer to him and leans her head on his shoulder, hugs his arm to her chest, and he leans into her comfortably. “This okay?” The answer she looks for comes in the form of him leaning his head down on top of hers gently.

They watch two thirds of the play before they both get increasingly tired, since it’s a three hour performance. Their brains are kinda mushed, especially because of the lack of sleep, but they happily gush about how well made it is and Sam spews facts left and right about the price of the tickets, the actors and how the British royal family has gone to see it in-person.

“God, I wish I had the money to go up to NYC and watch it myself. I’ve never been to Broadway.” She sighs under his arm, which is now placed around her shoulders. Sam nods in agreement.

“Yeah, that must be so amazing to see in person.”

Bedroom door creaking open, Sam and Y/n separate from each other slowly as they watch Madison trudge to the living room like a phantom, a hand on her lower back.

“My God, Y/n, your floor is not hospitable at all.”

“Awh, I’m sorry.” Sam laughs next to her. “I don’t know why you didn’t move to the bed, though.” Madison glares, facepalms with a wince -the movement seems to rattle the spot that’s sore somehow- and shakes her head. “I didn’t- it- it didn’t cross my mind.”

Deep chuckles in amusement all around. Madison picks her stuff up. Y/n makes all of them some coffee, which they all quietly sip in the diminishing silence of the city waking up just outside their window.

The time for Y/n’s appointment approaches rapidly, and Madison waves goodbye, kisses both people on their cheeks and drives herself home. Y/n isn’t sure if Sam will stick around, so she checks the time awkwardly. She’d feel terrible to let him make his way back to other side of town just for these wimpy three hours wasted on tiredly catching up and watching a movie.

“Listen,” she says, and Sam’s attention is drawn from his coffee cup. “I’m gonna go to my bedroom, have my appointment, because we do it over Zoom anyway. You hang around, chill, and I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Alright,” Sam agrees gently. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

*

A painful, soul-straining hour later, wiping dry tear stains off her cheeks, Y/n makes her way to the living room, half forgetting Sam is even there. And boy if he’s there.

He’s stretched on her couch, legs barely fitting as he leans on the arm rest, ankles crossed, and a book he’s picked up from her bookshelf in his hands, while Nelly sleeps peacefully in his lap, finding comfort in his warmth. He hasn’t made an intense amount of progress, probably 50 or 60 pages in, but he seems invested, and for the seconds it takes him to notice her, Y/n admires him a little. Under the morning light through her thin, sheer curtains, rays are angled perfectly to make his cheekbones all the sharper, he, comfortable enough to relax in her worn-in couch. He looks so at home, and after such an emotionally draining hour, it’s so good to see someone who’s gentle, someone so familiar, waiting for her in her personal space, with her cat, as if he belongs there. It makes her heart do all sorts of stunts.

It seems he notices her from the corner of his eye though, and he puts the book down.

“Hey,” he tells her softly. “Are you good?”

“Uh,” she thinks for a second, pinches the bridge of her nose. “Yeah. I’m okay.” An offered smile, small and soft.

“Alright,” as if saying I’m choosing to believe you. “Have you read this yet?” He holds up a bright orange book, a small thing titled the Alchemist by Paolo Coelho. An offered change of subject. She smiles.

“Yeah, I have.” He folds his legs with a soft apology to Nelly who jumps off disgruntled, and Y/n takes it as a sign to sit on the couch next to him. His feet rest against her thighs, knees bent still.

“It’s so…” He sighs, struggles to find the words. “I mean, it’s not something I’d usually go for. It kind of feels childish and simple, but it’s so beautiful.” He seems slightly confused, surprised to find something he thought may be silly to be actually really good.

“I know right? It feels really simplistic, but some of the stuff it says is so eye-opening.”

“Listen to this,” he says and sits a little straighter, fixing the pillow on his back a little. “We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

It’s like he chose the quote specifically for her, for this particular moment. A look is thrown his way, and he smiles crookedly. “I, uhm…” he rubs the back of his neck. “I just heard you crying, is all.” A nervous shrug. Y/n feels exhausted, drained, but in that little smile, that warmth, she feels like tearing up all over again at how fucking sweet he is. She pushes at his legs and reaches out to him for a hug, which he welcomes. She sighs.

“Thank you, Sam.”

                                                          ****

Eventually, they get up. They move to the kitchen and make grilled cheese sandwiches and tea, and Sam leans against her counter as he watches her take out plates from her cupboards, Nelly prancing around with distant meows for attention. Y/n picks large mugs, puts honey in hers and serves their half breakfast on the kitchen island. They eat under light conversation about dogs in social media and pets, and Sam sorta looks like he’s always been there, like this is the life they’ve always lived.

Hot mugs cupped in thick sleeve-covered hands. Bodies curling up on different ends of a couch. Comfortable conversation continues. Topic shifted to something more serious, and Sam tells her things, talks about how he’s grown mentally, how he understands himself a little better and how he wants to try therapy. She’s happy to see him like this, being -if only slightly- more open about himself, about how he is, not closing himself up, not fooling himself into believing he can shoulder the world alone. Y/n gives him her therapist’s phone number, tells him she’s proud of him and shares her own stories. She ruffles his hair and smiles affectionately, and Sam thanks her. Their mugs empty. Her heart grows fuller.

While moving back to the bedroom, Sam kneels next to Nelly. He offers her his hand, lets her sniff it, scritches the top of her soft little forehead, and Nelly pulls away, sniffing, wagging her tail in short annoyance. “Is that not okay? Alright, I’m sorry, honey,” he whispers to her gently, watches her lick his fingers for a second before settling back in her cat bed and watching him wearily. Sam gets the message and he pulls away, and Y/n’s never, ever seen anyone interact with her cat this way. Respectful and kind (and if that ain’t Sam, alright) and her heart lurches a bit. Of course Sam, practically the perfect guy, would test her cat’s boundaries as if she’s a human, and then never push them again. She sighs.

They end up on her bed. Sat next to each other. Laptop in front of her, heavy conversation discarded, set down for now, and she searches for her favourite stand-up comedians to show him, because she knows his sense of humour and he’s gonna love them, she’s sure. Yet, as she’s scrolling, Sam does the unspeakable, and slides behind her, one leg either side of her, arms going around her.

“ ‘M sorry, I needed a hug,” he tells her, and she curls her own arms over his, leaning back against him.

“Anytime,” she promises and means every syllable. “You can stay like that if you want,” she tells him as well, and feels his chin on her shoulder as he nods, a huffed out breath softly knocking on the bare skin of her neck. She sighs into him. Gets comfortable, pulls the laptop on her lap -can you see well?- and lets herself be entertained, relishing Sam’s laughter against her back. She smiles, because  this finally feels good. She doesn’t yearn, doesn’t look for anything more. She’s ultimately incredibly happy with where they are, with all of this warm affection. There’s no butterflies, just comfort, just love and care and tired laughter that fills her mouth with honey. The sun is in her eyes.

Not ten minutes later he shifts, stretches his legs and pulls her more comfortably against him. With gentle fingers, he pushes two strands of hair behind her ear, to the side, touch so soft she barely feels it, repositions his chin on her shoulder and breathes out calmly and Y/n shivers. He holds her securely and she, well, she dares dream, dares feel what this would be like in a different context, and while there’s a little yearning this time, to remember what it’s like to want someone and to be wanted, to know what it’s like to be Sam’s, what it’s like to be held with utter security, knowledge that you’ll never be let go of, it’s not overpowering. She feels its presence, but it feels more like an old friend than a menace. She’s content. Finally. The opposing feelings seem to tame each other.

Something close to an hour passes. They make food, some creamy pasta just to hold them over until dinner. He stirs the pot while she shows him a funny video on her phone. They eat in comfortable silence, and Y/n feels the urge to tangle her legs with his under the table, but she doesn’t, terrified she’ll push him away, ruin this bubble of comfort and naturalism by taking things a step too far. What is too far, she wonders. She’ll let him take the lead, if that means he’ll continue being this physically close to her.

Sam washes the dishes. Y/n pecks his cheek in thanks. His smile is radiant.

They stretch next to each other on her bed, scroll through their texts, send silly pictures to mutual friends. The mistake she makes is when she grabs his phone and takes a really, and she means really, ugly picture. A zillion chins, pinched eyebrows, curved lips and tongue out, hands his phone back and contemplates the consequences.

“Gimme that back, you shouldn’t have that,” decided and regretful. Sam and his noodle, twelve feet long limbs hold the phone as far from her as possible and Y/n growls and laughs, stretches, tries to grab it off him. “Sam!”

“You really think I’m gonna pass this up?” he scoffs with a grin, and she yells his name, accusatory and playful.

“Give it BACK, my face is in there! Privacy infringement!” She yells. “You should know, you’re a lawyer!”

“But you willingly saved the picture in a phone that’s not yours!” Arms stretched high, laughter booming and loud, and she scrambles.

“Your word against mine!”

“You can be seen holding the phone yourself!” She growls again, tries to pull his arm down, tickles his side and he jerks and laughs. Y/n tries to throw a leg over his to hold him down, but Sam’s too quick, too strong. They fumble, thrash, tangled limbs, throat aching full of laughter, struggling and yelling useless threats.

Sam throws the phone on the rug and huffs, visibly almost done with her, like she’s an annoying but entertaining bug. He grips her hands, her left and right in his respectively, throws his leg over her waist, twists and straddles her, hands now over her head.

Heavy breaths. They pant, stare at each other, Sam shakes his head like a dog to get his hair out of his face.

“You can’t win,” he tells her with a confident smile. She narrows her eyes.

“Have you learned nothing from this friendship?” She blows a hair away from her face and looks at him smiling. “I don’t give up that easy,” coy smile, a promise, wink sent his way, and suddenly she’s thrusting up her pelvis, trying desperately to scooch up the bed with the rest of her body, but the grip on her wrists tightens, Sam barely budging. She struggles, drags her body up, fueled by pure determination and spite, wiggles fiercely and just barely manages to get on her belly, which seems like a mistake in hindsight.

Because now her hands are crossed, he’s basically got her on a choke hold with her own forearms, and she’s eagerly trying to get her knees under her, while Sam laughs loudly at grumbled comments like “What the fuck kinda core strength do you have, fucking behemoth.” The sheets get wrinkled and pulled off the edges of her mattress, her pillows get pushed to the side, to the floor, the struggle continues and her stomach and throat hurt from all the laughter, but she really can’t seem to get the upper hand, which would be obvious if someone so much as threw a look at both of them. Sam’s six feet and two full of young, sinewy muscle, a boy- a man, really- with biceps that may not be particularly thick, but the iron grip on her wrists says something else. His hands are the size of her face. Strength is not the way she should be going about this.

She twists again, barely able to get back on her back, and she pants. The asshole looks barely winded and her eyes narrow, him raising an eyebrow challengingly. What to do, what to do?

Y/n relaxes, but Sam doesn’t. She takes a breath, grins briefly up at his momentarily confused face, then yanks her hands up the bed, making him jerk down so he can keep her under his grip and-

And she kisses him.

Nothing long or particularly sexy, just a rough push of her mouth on his, and an ‘umph’ escapes him in surprise.

Sam startles, his grip loosens, and her hands are pulled free of his hold, kicking away from him and managing a small distance apart from his warm body, knees pulled up to her chest and panting fast and loud.

Okay, it seemed smart in that moment. It really did. But for a grand total of five eternally long seconds later, her heart shrinks, diminishes to ash and dust and regret. Sam’s kaleidoscopic eyes are wide, pupils blown, and he, too, is panting.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, is all she can think, so much for not pushing his boundaries, not rushing his pace. How will you ever look in his eyes again?

“Too much?” And he blinks at her, clearly still processing. “I’m sorry, Sam, I- I didn’t mean-”

But then a hand cups her jaw, warm and big and gentle, pulls her face close to his, and his lips are there, pressed on hers. Y/n’s motionless for just a second- she’s dreamt of this for so long, over a year and a half, and it’s happening in the cheesiest way possible- and Sam is on his knees, weight rested on his other hand, reaching for her, he’s kissing her, and move, dammit, do something! A hand grips his wrist, and she pushes herself closer to him, a huff pushed out of Sam’s nose, and her stomach flips in so many stunning, wonderful ways.

Her legs fall to the side, she meets him half-way and kisses him and Sam follows just as fiercely, falls back on his haunches. His hands push under her shoulders, lift her up onto his lap, grab the back of her knees and pull them around his hips and Y/n goes willingly. She holds the sides of his face carefully and parts her lips, and Sam licks into them with caution, curls his strong arms around her waist and sighs into her mouth.

Y/n pulls away. So much for boundaries.

She blinks down at him. Sam’s eyes stay closed for a second longer, peering up at her then. He waits for her to say something. Fingers push his hair back gently, she nudges her nose with his and smiles.

“I win.” Earning a long, dramatic eye roll.

“I had you in a choke hold with your own arms, Y/n.” and her name rolls off his tongue so sweetly. She clicks her tongue.

“Yet here we are,” she whispers, looks down at him and he shakes his head with a sigh. His eyes fall  on her lips once more and he gently chews the inside of his cheek. One large paw cups the side of her head and he kisses her slowly once more before pulling away, thumbing at her cheek.

They smile.

                                                           ****

The sun has descended beneath the horizon, so early it’s kind of comical, but it doesn’t feel like it’s 6 pm anyway, because neither of them has slept at all. Time has lost meaning and form the past two days, everything feels surreal and fake because of the lack of sleep, and now here they are, under warm fairy lights, laying in her bed. There’s been kisses here and there, gently roaming hands, not moving further than that, and again, Y/n doesn’t need anything more. She’s content where she is, surprised she even made it this far. The affection they’ve shared is scarcely fierce and feral, simply quiet, tender, innate. Nothing particularly passionate or aggressive, just warmth and comfort, shielded vulnerability hidden behind brief liplocks. Y/n’s more than okay with it.

She’s laying on his chest, arm around his waist and ear over his heart and they doze together under dim lighting, limbs heavy, hearts feathery light. Sam’s arm falls around her back, pulls her close. She nuzzles his chest.

It’s just so easy to be with him. Around him.

Y/n wonders where they stand after this. If he’ll text her more. If it’ll go back to the occasional long phone call, the random outings because Madison texts him while she’s with Y/n. Will they ever be like this again? How much does she care?

Because, although somewhat pivotal for her view on affection, and tenderness and friendship, ambit stretched now, definitions altered in her mind, she feels that no real barrier has broken, shifted even. They’re still friends. They’re not partners, he’s not her boyfriend and it’s honestly fine. No, really, it is. She’s genuinely okay.

Would she like to see what it’s like to date him? Of course she would. Of course she wants to know what it feels like to know he wants her and only her, wants to know she can hold his hand, can kiss him no matter where they are or with whom, without crossing invisible boundaries tentatively like she did today. Planning dates and late night movie nights and early morning beers with shared drunken kisses.

She just wishes she knew what it’s like to have free access to this sort of affection with someone, and maybe that’s the thing. Sam feels like a good someone to have that with, but at the same time, maybe it’s what he told her on New Year’s and the way he likes to be, maybe it’s the understanding that they’re really not particularly meant to be together, cosmically in love, soulmates, whatever-the-hell, but there’s no dipping of the stomach, no heart rate accelerating, no feeling of being high or drunk. Maybe Y/n just wants someone, anyone to be with, to know she can fall for, and while Sam is warm and funny and familiar and oh so wonderful, while he looks like a great candidate to be in a relationship with, while her heart flips at the possibility of having any semblance of romance in her life, of him in her house, her couch, with her books and his warm hugs, maybe he’d been right. Maybe he knew something too painful to tell her back then, when she confessed her attraction, back when things were raw and bruised and painful to the touch. Sam and her, well… they seem good in theory. They are fun, and safe, they care for one another. They share alcohol bottles easily, common interests, kindness and heeps of love to give. They make sense in a way. But- it’s just not clicking, is it?

This is just… this. Affection for the sake of affection, not romance. And that’s okay to have, more than okay, even. It’s great. It’s comforting. It’s safe, and it’s simple. They can kiss. They can hug. They can cuddle together, and brush each other’s hair away from their faces. Y/n can admire his eyes while he cleans the dishes they ate lunch in. And it can all amount to nothing, without it feeling like band-aids being ripped off bleeding wounds without a warning.

In the words of her mother, why are human relationships so god damn complicated? Why does this one have to be too?

Y/n is content to be in his arms, to philosophically discuss, and open up and talk freely. She’s content with them giggling and wrestling and kissing in between, and they can share their music and their book quotes and their love for one another. It’s just surface level affection. If not surface level, then friendship level. Why is that not enough? Maybe not all relationships have to be tipped in the romantic pink light, and maybe, just maybe that’s okay.

She gazes up at him, rests her chin on his chest, and Sam blinks his lazy, drowsy eyelids open to look down at her sweetly, offers a small and a caress of his hand on her back. And for once, Y/n is completely satisfied with just this, and nothing more.

*****

A/N 2: I reread this and it felt like I reached a conclusion to something gigantic and cosmic, but this seems so simple.  I should know all this by now. *huff*

please tell me what you thought of this!

Forevers:

@deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester​ @deanssweetheart23​ @nostalgic-uncertainty​ @mogaruke​ @superseejay721517​ @lady-hawkguy​ @thosefeelsarereal​ @superwholockmarauder​  @justiceiswater​ @petra-arkanian-1497​ @heyitscam99​ @danijimenezv​ @aj-reuth  @unicornblood4ever @mystriee​ @sadist-fangirl23 @asguardiansoftheavengers​ @superrandomnatural​ @altosaxplayer098 @winter-moons @hunterswearingplaid​ @novaddictx​ @choosemyname​  @live-like-a-girl​ @thisismysecrethappyplace​ @bowtomytenderaddiction​  @elara98azalea​ @lemondropirwin​ @emmagolden4118​ @glitchcypher @calaofnoldor​ @paradoxical-sleep​ @narynechan @canwenotdothis​ @suicidepanda07​ @blueaura​

Sam Stuff:

@kymberlytorres​ @theboykingsamwinchester​ @depressed-moose-78 @andi-mendes-barnes​ @captainmarvelcorps​ @nerd-in-a-galaxy-far-away​ @nellachain​  @percywinchester27​

[feifood]

I saw your Haikyuu asexual friend hc's and I wanted to request one but with the carrot top and blueberry boys Hinata and Kageyama😋 also gotta have Yachi also cuz she's such a sweetheart. Maybe the s/o is female to help even out the trio's dynamic, and she's always teasing Yachi about being so shy around guys and making innuendos with her😂 meanwhile the boys are just confused cuz they don't quite understand why Yachi is freaking out over the jokes😆 maybe s/o brings snacks and food when their practices run late and she sorta just pops in unannounced with bags of food and drinks🤷🏽‍♀️ just something cute between friends.

Asexual S/o who Gets Along with their Friends

Kageyama, Hinata

yesss more love for Hinata and Kageyama lets gooooooo okay so I hope that I got everything in the request in my hcs because I was so paranoid that I kept missing an element aksdhfksjhf but yeah so here are your hcs and I hope you like it !! I didn’t include the Fem part because I didn’t use any pronouns or any specific descriptions in the hcs so I hope that’s okay but regardless the idea is very very cute so thank you for requesting it + take care <33

Kageyama:

With Kageyama, you’re definitely going to have to explain to him what asexual means

He get’s the overall concept, but really not enough to consider himself as properly educated in this area

So please teach him and after you team him baby is gonna spend a very long time trying to make sure he remembers the ‘unwritten/unsaid rules’ to make sure he never offends you or says something that’s out of line

Kageyama and Yachi aren’t as good friends as Hinata and Yachi but he still thinks it’s kind of funny when you’re teasing Yachi 

YEAH OKAY So maybe Kageyama doesn’t get the majority of the jokes that you say to Yachi because they’re about how Yachi’s so shy around guys BUT he still laughs along okay he’s not about to ruin the playful atmosphere

Not to mention you are !! The snack saviour !! Always stocked up on snacks (all the different brands, all everyone’s favourite) and you never forget to bring them when you visit them during practice

Everyone’s so used to you bringing snacks to the point where you coming in to see their practice = break time because they’re munching on those snacks immediately askdjhfjsd

But yesyes aside from all that Kageyama is very thankful that you’re able to get along with his friends

He’s really big on working as a team now that he’s learning from what happened in middle school and while you + his friends aren’t actually a volleyball team together,, the familiarity between everyone is something that he’s very grateful for

Hinata:

Babes Hinata literally grew up with only his mom and sister so if you think he’s not respectful you need to go rethink this entire character

Probably also has no idea what asexual really means SO PLEASE JUST BE PATIENT WITH HIM

But after you explain it to him in full he totally understands it dwdw

He doesn’t get why you were so hesitant/worried to tell him though because Hinata believes that someone’s sexuality literally has nothing to do w/ their worth and it’s not other people’s place to tell others what’s valid or not

That being said, he probably won’t bring up that you’re asexual a whole lot -- because he just loves talking about other amazing things about you more but if you ever want to tell him about some of your struggles/obstacles you’re dealing with he’s there patient + ready to listen

Hinata literally LOVES that you can get along with his friends

He is definitely someone that finds it more fun when talking to groups of people rather than one-on-one,, so the fact that you can get along so well with his friends makes his lil heart swell with joy

Like he loves watching you poke fun at Yachi sometimes just to get a reaction out of her, or when you’re always willing bring snacks to whichever group gatherings are going on

Before you two really became official Hinata was really worried that you wouldn’t fit in with his friend group but now that he sees you laughing along at their jokes he’s very very relieved and just so so happy overall

[canonconspiracy]

Khaleesi (Ben Wyatt x Fem!Reader)

AN: In efforts to post more on here specifically, this is one that I just cross-posted into my Michael Shur Oneshot Collection (Wattpad and Ao3 - rmorningstar21).

Fandom: Parks and Recreations

Pairing: Ben Wyatt x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

"Hey there, you stunning woman you!" You said into your phone, a smile across your features.  You sat upon your dresser, staring at your newest project confidently.  It had just been finished, and you couldn't be happier with how it turned out.  Everything was as perfect as you could make it, from each in seam all the way down to the wig styling.  Your best friend was the first person you thought to contact, primarily for a fun little favor.  She always seemed to love participating in your little projects anyhow, when she wasn't busy.  "Guess who just finished up a masterpiece." 

"No way, Joe Biden?" She guessed, with a clear smile against her own features.  

You rolled your eyes at your silly friend.  "I'm sure Markie Mark would be so jealous," you teased back.  "But seriously, Les, I'm super duper proud of this one.  You have any time coming up that we could head over to the park for some pics?" 

"What did you do this time?" She said curiously.  "Come on, you're on speaker.  Let us hear all about it!" 

"Who am I on speaker phone with?" You asked cautiously.  "Oh well, eff it.  I'm going to be the mother of dragons, Khaleesi outfit.  I even made a little dragon plush for Drogo." 

"I have no idea what any of that means," Leslie said with a chuckle, a smile clear in her voice.  "But the stupid surprise face on Ben's face means it has to be nerdy." 

"Hey!" You heard a male voice counter, likely the Ben that she meant.  

"I figured you wouldn't," you said with a chuckle.  "It's fantastic that at least someone does.  It's Game of Thrones.  I know your schedule is normally packed, but I'm flexible.  Whenever you're up for it." 

Leslie paused for a moment, an idea coming to mind as she glanced between the others at the Parks Department meeting.  "Do you mind if I bring some friends?" She said slyly.  "I've been dying to get you to meet them." 

You bit your lip, thinking about it.  Your eyes glanced over to the hopeful outfit that you had made, thinking maybe one day you would have you Khal.  "You think any of them would fit in a male's medium?" You said slyly, a little jest in your tone.  Knowing best not to get your hopes up, though you would love some killer Khal Drogo and Daenerys Targaryen photos.  

"I mean," Leslie said, laughter clear in her words, "if you want to drop off the outfit at City Hall, I could have someone try it."

*** 

You felt a little anxiety bubbling inside of you as the time drew closer.  A few days prior, you dropped off your Khal Drogo cosplay that you custom made at City Hall, with absolutely no inkling as to who Leslie was going to have wear it.  On top of that, she gave you that whole sneaky wink that she has that only showed she was up to no good.  Being her best friend, you knew she was far from sneaky.  

"Well, if they all hate me, at least they'll hate me as Dany," you mused as you spun around in front of your window, checking out the cosplay one more time.  You were in your mid twenties, likely younger than most of Leslie's friends.  As the Khaleesi, you wore practically snow white blonde hair down past your chest and slightly crimped.  Your outfit consisted of the ragged off white outfit that Daenerys wore after marrying Khal Drogo.  Everything you had created for it was mint, while the little dragon plush was simply for a little extra fun.  

A knock sounded at your door and you inhaled deeply to calm yourself.  Striding to the door with confidence, you slipped out your door to literally be surrounded by the entire Parks Department, and more.  Apparently when Leslie meant she wanted you to meet her friends, she meant all of them.  Immediately pulling Leslie into a hug, you whispered, "You're lucky I have a lot of acreage." 

"Well, I couldn't pick just a few, so," Leslie said with excitement in your tone, "I brought everyone." 

Beside her stood Markie Mark, as you liked to call ark Brezanowitz, her long term boyfriend.  Next to him stood Ann Perkins, whom you had met offhandedly a few times.  The rest of the crew, though, you had no idea.  After greeting Mark and Ann, Leslie introduced you to each and every one.  

As you noticed that little twinkle in her eyes, you knew there was something strange up.  For one, no one out of the group you were introduced to clearly wore your Khal Drogo outfit, and the fact that she was practically beaming at you had you curious.  When she said, "I already set up your backyard for the set!  Let's go!"  you could feel anxiety rising.  

When she said she set it up, it was clearly an understatement.   The camera was set up professionally, surely by someone else, since you always had to fix it for her.  What caught your eye was something that would truly have the Khaleesi blush, and your face was as red as a tomato.  

Looking off, clearly awaiting everyone's arrival, stood a handsome and lithe Khal Drogo.  Though he did not have the perfect body type for the cosplay, he was clearly handsome covered in the outfit you created.  He stood taller than you, and once he glanced your way, you could see his chocolate brown orbs that made you melt.  The excited smile that tugged upon his lips had your heart aflutter.  

"M'ach," you greeted in Dothraki as you moved closer to the male.  "I didn't expect Leslie to get me such a handsome Khal, but I greatly appreciate you doing this." 

"You speak Dothraki?" He said with an eyebrow raised, though the excitement did not leave his face.  "I was thrilled to be chosen, especially since I'm sure I'm the only Game of Thrones fan in the majority of City Hall.  I'm Ben Wyatt, and you must be Y/N?" 

You nodded with a large smile against your lips.  "It's a pleasure, and I speak a little," you said sheepishly.  "Just as Dany, I know bits and pieces of the dialect." 

"Okay, nerds," the man you were introduced to under the name of Tom Haverford said with a laugh.  "How about you two get into positions." 

You ended up positioning your Khal for multiple photographs, before he began getting into the character more.  The two of you had been blushing messes half the time, and you were sure that a great deal of the photographs would not be useable, but kept for memory purposes.  

As the two of you got further into shooting, Ben moved his hands to either side of your face as he said, "Yer zheannae sekke." 

You prayed your face did not hold too much blush as you replied, "Yer mezahe sekke."  A smirk pulled upon your lips as you replied, though you did wish to call him handsome instead of simply sexy, your knowledge of Dothraki was small.  

As the two of you simply stared into one another's eyes, you could hear the camera continuing to take photographs.  The one thing you had been too shy to accomplish, Ben was not, as he captured your lips for the photographs.  Surely, you thought he was simply putting on a show for your collection, but you could still feel your heart reverberating in your chest.  Mentally, you had been screaming.  

When the two of you had been done modeling your outfits, you both excused yourselves inside to change.  Ben had thankfully brought a spare outfit, knowing he wanted to leave your property with you.  Once he entered your home, though, his eyes were wide in shock.  

"So, you're a professional cosplayer?" He questioned as his eyes moved between different creations you had made.  

You hummed in approval, a smile against your lips as you moved to grab your street clothes.  "Are you sure you haven't modeled like that before?" You asked with an eyebrow raised, turning to meet chocolate brown eyes.  "You surprised me out there." 

He took off your wig to reveal partially mussed brown locks, appearing much more handsome than he had even in the Khal Drogo attire.  Sheepishly, he smiled, a clear bit of blush risen in his cheeks.  "That was genuine," he replied sheepishly.  "You're very beautiful, and I apologize if I crossed a line." 

You told him just a second before you went to change back into your normal clothes.  Brushed through y/h/c locks and your normal attire, you bit your lip gently, wondering if the handsome man would still be attracted to you as, well, you.  Emerging from the bathroom, you were shocked to see that he had already changed out of his own outfit as well, simply buttoning up his shirt as you came out.  

"I'm curious, handsome, do you still think that without the cosplay?" You teased, a smile tugging against your lips.  

His chocolate gaze was sincere as he smiled down at you, nodding and he said, "Khaleesi or not, you're beautiful, and I'd love to get to know you better." 

"I'm sure I'd love that," you said shyly.  

____________

Leaving this note at the end as to not ruin the one shot itself, but like - can you picture Ben as Khal Drogo?  I think I would die immediately. 

[scarletemeterio-thesecond]

If you don’t mind could I request an Azula x f reader where the reader is a water bender and is with the gaang but leaves them to stay with Azula at the boiling rock and promises to never betray her?

ooh, we've got a corrupt reader over here lmao, thank you so much for requesting! fun fact, azula is one of my favorite characters so i'm glad someone requested something for her! hope you like it!

•••

Changing Sides (Azula x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: none.

Genre: Angst, idk, not really but not fluff either.

Fandom: Avatar The Last Airbender

Summary: See request.

Word Count: 1467

You didn't know why, but you just didn't want to be there anymore. You hadn't been with the Avatar for long, but you knew being with him wasn't your destiny.

You were a waterbender that had fled from the Northern Water Tribe, living in one of the many colonies, and ran into the group in the Earth Kingdom right before the fight at the catacombs, but you barely knew how to bend water. You hated the Avatar, he disappeared when he was needed the most, and that darkened your heart from a young age. But there was something else, you didn't know _what_ it was, but deep down you've always felt the urge to see the Fire Nation triumph in the war. Why did you even need different nations? Sure, there had been some damage and mistakes, but the possibility of all being as advanced as the firebenders was greater than any of that. So from the very first time, you were fascinated with the Fire Nation princess and how powerful she was, and the thought of wanting to join her crossed your mind, but you quickly brushed it off. Why would you want to join her? She was from the Fire Nation after all. However, the princess never really left your mind after you saw her that day.

When her brother showed up saying he wanted to join you, you couldn't believe it. You thought that he must've been crazy, why run away? Why leave the greatest place in the whole world? It made no sense to you.

You never said anything out loud about your inner conflict, but you did start acting a little more distant. You were bored in the Air Temple, you needed something exciting in your life, something new; you needed something that gave meaning to your life. You didn't really care what the rest of the group thought, but they did notice your attitude change and were worried about you. But whenever they asked if something was wrong, you just told them that everything was fine, that they had nothing to worry about.

You were a lot closer to Sokka than with the rest of the group. It wasn't _so_ bad to be by his side, even though he talked a lot most of the time. So when he and Zuko went to the Boiling Rock, he asked you to go with them. They couldn't bring Katara, she would most likely refuse due to how dangerous it'd be, so you were the best option since the girl had taught you a lot about waterbending.

You weren't really excited to go and see a bunch of prisoners, but it was better than staying and doing nothing. During your trip, the boys talked a little about their pasts, and then Zuko asked you about yours.

"My life isn't interesting at all," was all you said.

"Come on, I'm pretty sure there has to be something," insisted the boy.

"And what would you even know about interesting?" You snapped. "You're the one who left the Fire Nation after all," you mumbled.

They didn't understand what you'd meant but figured that it would be best to just finish the conversation, plus you had finally arrived, so you had to focus on that. You finally arrived on the shore of the prison and got rid of the balloon.

You all thought it would be best if you pretended to be guards, so you grabbed some uniforms. A lot of things happened while you were there, but nothing that really mattered to you. 

Everyone was thinking about how to escape from there. At first, they thought about you using your bending to keep the water from touching you, but that option was dismissed as soon as you realized that you'd obviously end up getting caught while trying to climb the wall; it would draw too much attention, and since you were there as enemies of the Fire Nation, it was the last thing you wanted. You eventually came up with a plan, but you still stayed because there was a chance of finding Sokka's father.

It turned out to be true, he arrived at the prison, and now you had to think about escaping again. Every single moment you spent there was complete torture to you. You felt like the only reason the guys had asked for you to go with that was so they'd be able to have a waterbender nearby. You were sick of it, and you decided that once you were back in the Air Temple you'd leave the group for good. You had no idea of what you'd do but thought that everything would be better than what you had been doing up until that moment.

The new plan consisted of taking the warden as your hostage and using one of the gondolas to escape. It wouldn't be easy, you knew it, but it wasn't impossible. Suki took care of grabbing the warden, and now all you needed to do was leave that place.

However, Azula and Ty Lee appeared out of nowhere. You all got to the ceiling of the gondola, waiting for the two girls, ready to fight them. You mainly just stood there, not really knowing what to do, and protecting yourself whenever you needed to. Zuko and Sokka were fighting against the princess and then suddenly everything moved underneath you. Azula almost fell from the gondola, but you managed to grab her hand and pull her up. You two shared a look, she didn't really know why you'd helped her but there was no time for questions.

"They're about to cut the line!" Yelled Ty Lee. 

You saw another gondola that was coming from the outside and then shared another look with the princess. "Then it's time to leave," she said. Azula looked at you before using her bending to land on top of the other gondola. 

You saw that another girl was helping you all get away. Once you reached the other side, you began running away, but suddenly you and Zuko stopped.

"Zuko, (Y/N), what are you doing?" Asked Sokka.

"My sister was on that island," said Zuko, as if any of you needed to be reminded of that, especially you.

"Yeah, and she's probably right behind us, so let's not stop!"

"What I mean is that she must've come here somehow."

You all saw a Fire Nation airship and the rest of the group began walking towards it. However, you looked at the two boys a few meters away from you for a moment. You knew what you had to do, what you _wanted_ to do. So you took a deep breath and ran away from them. You used your waterbending to reach the platform that you were escaping from just a few moments ago. Sokka and Zuko looked at you with complete surprise all over their faces, and you could hear their voices from behind you. You didn't look back though, you never would. 

Once you touched the ground, you saw that the guards had grabbed both Mai and Ty Lee and that Azula couldn't move her body. "Put them somewhere I'll never have to see their faces again," you heard the princess say. The guards did as she said and the rest of them let them know that you were there. "And what are _you_ doing here?" She asked, anger clear in her voice. "I might not be able to move but I can still beat you."

"I'm not here to fight," you said. She looked at you, waiting for you to continue talking. "I'm here because I want to join you."

"You think I'm going to believe you? How stupid do you think I am? Guards! Take her too!"

"No, wait!" You yelled. "I'm serious, I mean it! I'm on your side, deep down I've always been," you confessed. She kept looking at you and gestured the guards to let go of you.

"So you finally realized," she said. You looked at her with a confused look and she rolled her eyes right before talking. "You think I haven't noticed that you had doubts? I realized from the first time I saw you, but I guess you finally made up your mind."

"I did, I swear I did," you told her. "And I won't be like those two girls," you said. "I won't betray you." She kept looking at you and since you didn't get an answer, you got on your knees, practically bowing in front of her. "I promise I'll never betray you. I pledge my loyalty to you, Princess Azula." You lifted your head to look at her and when you saw her smiling, you knew that there was nothing in the world that could make you change your mind.

•••

TAGLIST:

@noodlesfluffy @just-a-belgian-girl

[quillyfied]

Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 5

What up, it’s back!

77 carefully-curated titles for your perusal today! As always, the fics are broken into the following categories: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/The Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Just Soft, Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. I don’t read smut fics but sometimes there are sexual elements to the stories and sometimes you get invested and then suddenly the author drops a smut chapter, so warnings where applicable.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

LET ME KNOW IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR MISATTRIBUTED AND I WILL FIX IT RIGHT AWAY.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1.     Get Thee To A Nunnery – Owenjones (T, the one where Aziraphale is put in a nunnery and needs a bit of a rescue. More or less Ineffable Wives time, but warnings for Aziraphale being forced into a female corporation against his will, that’s pretty icky (three guesses for who the offending Archangel is). Crowley is posing as a little lady known as Julie D’Aubigny, which, if that rings no bells, you should Google her immediately and then go into this fic cackling like I did. Very sweet, a fun little adventure!)

2.    Bibliophilia – @wingedspirit (G, the one where Aziraphale has a book nemesis and Crowley always seems to have the perfect book as a gift, what a coincidence. This is so funny, you guys, seriously. We stan ONE (1) oblivious angel in this house. And when Aziraphale finally catches on, it’s so cute, I can’t even. I cannot EVEN. Go read it right now immediately.)

3.    The Heart Goes To Heaven, The Head Goes To Hell – Dekkles (T, the one where Crowley has intentions of making an angel Fall and it kinda…backfires. Guys fair warning, this one’s version of Hell is really gross, if you’re squeamish tread very carefully bc WOW it can get a bit graphic. Y’know what’s also gross? The PINING (obviously not gross in the same way but the pining is awfully feelsy and part of it does happen in Hell). Watching this Crawly go from an honestly nauseating portrayal of Hell to watching Aziraphale and kinda awkwardly twitching in his light is so delightful and I hope for more in the future (though maybe less visions of Hell, I will be so glad if and when the fic leaves that place because yikes).)

4.    i like this place (it feels spooky) – @asideofourown (G, the one where Warlock manages to convince Nanny and Brother Francis to take him to a haunted house and it’s so cute. You guys. It’s SO cute. You really get a feel for little Warlock’s personality and how he sees things (and he sees ALL). Just a really cute “family” outing, really, and someone gets spooked at the end and it’s not who you think!)

5.    Doubt the Stars are Fire – LilithReisender (T, the one where Aziraphale bails Crowley out of prison and they spend time together in an Italian villa. This one has cool history bits, really fun banter, and Crowley actively on the job while trying to pretend he isn’t on the job. It’s a delight, and it’s just getting started! Jump on this bandwagon, folks, it’s great!)

6.    The Hellfire Club – @amarguerite (NR, the one where greater measures are taken to make sure Aziraphale isn’t promoted back upstairs. This one is so hilarious, you guys, I can’t even tell you which bit is my favorite. And the cherry on top? Wing grooming! (I can also tell you that something highly unpleasant happens to Sandalphon, if that sweetens the pot for anyone.) If you have a Thing for Crowley and Aziraphale being melodramatic and overacting, then stay put, friends. Also continue reading this list, there’s a few more that’ll catch your eye later on.)

7.     The Immortal Look – MickyRC (G, the one where Crowley puts Aziraphale in some kohl and it’s awesome. A written entry for the Prince of Omens DTIYS, and even independent from Prince of Omens this fic is a winner, in my book. Crowley going dewy-eyed over Aziraphale’s looks in any capacity is always My Jam and this fic really goes for it.)

8.    Merry & Bright – @peppervl (G, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley go undercover as a married couple in the Regency. You like fem!Aziraphale but don’t see it often enough? SIT DOWN, FRIENDO. Not only does this have a lovely Miss Fell for us to fawn over, but it’s a Miss Fell in possession of a fortune and surely in want of a husband, according to prim-and-proper London, and who better to help her out than one Mr. Crowley who happens to need some help on a temptation? Fun, romantic, and with a cute little twist at the end I shan’t spoil but you should really stick around for.)

9.    Putting the Endearment in Dear – @joyandotherstories (G, the one where Aziraphale starts calling everyone “dear” just so he can also call Crowley by endearments. This one is sweet and a little sad and has the softest possible ending, y’all don’t even know. Read it, the point in time where Aziraphale doesn’t have to hold back his mountain of endearments anymore is a sight to behold.)

10. Between the Lines – cyankelpie (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale’s feelings are known but not spoken, at least not directly. This one is a historical jaunt where they have a lot of double-meaning conversations (and Crowley is very rightly lost through a lot of it, poor dear), and it aches, you guys, it just hurts. Not finished yet as of this review but WHEN IT’S DONE—I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Hot dang.)

11.  No Matter How the Stars Align (They Make Me Think of You) – silentsonata (G, the one that covers stars that Crowley and Aziraphale have met under. Every once in a while there’ll come along a fic that shakes the ground as it walks. I understand the Big Bang events usually churn these out, and there are quite a few on this list, but this fic here? A masterpiece. Pitch-perfect in every way, just a stunner. I want to tell y’all to pay special attention to certain chapters but they all took my breath utterly away and it would be unfair to single any out over the rest, the whole work is a monument. Just beautiful.)

12.  Too Wise to Woo Peaceably – purewanderlust (T, the one that’s five times they see “Much Ado About Nothing” throughout history. I love me some “Much Ado,” personally, and this fic knows what it’s on about. Wonderfully romantic and ends with the single most perfect conversation, I swear 2 someone. Hits right in the feels.)

13.  Just Another Sword Fight – DemonicGeek (NR, the one that’s a 5+1 about Crowley swordfighting. If you’re here because Aziraphale taking on the role of the swooning maiden to Crowley’s dashing hero makes you, in fact, be the one swooning, say hello to your new best friend. If you like to follow all that up with Aziraphale taking charge when needed, I might suggest building a home here, because ABSOLUTELY that’s what you’re getting.)

14.  A Few More Rescues – @poetic----nonsense (T, the one with, predictably, a few more rescues. If the previous fic had you reeling and begging for more, welcome to the buffet, children. These are some really fun rescues by Crowley on behalf of Aziraphale, and they’re unconventional and historical AF (especially the bit with the dragon) (you bet your sweet keister there’s a bit with a dragon). This fic is so much fun and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.)

15.  Floriography – Frenchmeister (T, the one where Crowley doesn’t get flower language. The premise is, Crowley slept through a large chunk of the Victorian era, so he doesn’t know what Aziraphale keeps trying to say as they work at the Dowlings’ estate raising Warlock. He does know that the philodendron is a menace, no matter what it’s supposed to mean. Funny and nerve-wracking and so, so sweet.)

16.  The Interplay of Illusion and Magic – SoulJelly (T, the one where Aziraphale tries to join a magicians’ society. This one has some delightful history and Aziraphale trying to perform sleight of hand magic to get in a secret magicians club and a surprising twist near the middle, all told; it’s a lot more exciting than I initially thought it was going to be (I was just expecting some fluff and that was not all I got; it’s always a good day when Crowley has to come to the rescue).)

SOUTH DOWNS

17.  There goes the neighborhood – @bestoftheseekwill (G, the one where Crowley’s retirement peace is threatened by construction. If you’re here for Crowley wiles, anti-capitalism, and flashes of protective Aziraphale, get ready to take a load off because this is primo.)

18. Teatime Revelations – Cardinal_Daughter (T, the one where God invites Herself over for tea. This one is strained and it’s emotional and it’s all the softer for it. Aziraphale being quiet and protective while Crowley has a come-apart in the face of God is iconic, tbh; pretty sure this fic inspired a lot of my own portrayals of the GOmens God, looking back on it. A wonderful and light-hearted take.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

19.  Lose a Kraken, Gain an Angel – MistressKat (T, the one where Hastur has an expected friendship. This fic has everything—Hastur being a sympathetic character, the Kraken, Crowley pining after Aziraphale, the Antichrist, and is hilarious from start to finish. A fun and tonally accurate diversion, please read.)

20. Something Old, Something New – shippityshipship (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are involved in weddings. Short and hasn’t updated in a while but still excellent reading, I find; great characterization, some fun OCs, lovely atmosphere, oblivious pining while everyone else thinks they’re dating, it’s amazing.)

21.  The difficulty with disposable demons – @areyougonnabe (T, the one where Eric the disposable demon shows up and it’s a madhouse in Crowley’s apartment. This is a really funny take on what happens to the disposable demons and why they are the way they are, and with the added bonus of driving Crowley up the wall and some mild miscommunications with Aziraphale that are all sorted out in the end.)

22. Care and Keeping – @arcafira (M, T, the series where Crowley is shedding and Aziraphale tries to help. Not rated M for anything violent or sexual, really more of a T than an M but there is a bath scene and a lot of self-loathing. There’s a lot of convincing Crowley to let Aziraphale care for him and a lot of working through Fall-related issues, but it leaves off in a wonderfully hopeful place.)

23. The Clockwork Days – redwinehouse (T, the one where the world’s ending again. There are many fics that have tackled possible sequels to Good Omens and this is one of the more tonally accurate ones, I feel; it’s very tongue-in-cheek and matter-of-fact, and the little twist at the end was a genuine surprise to me. Whack in plenty of mutual pining and a Bentley that has had it up to HERE with these idiots and you’ve got a recipe for a good little story.)

24. don’t leave me here alone – Elvendork (T, the one where Crowley asks for holy water again. This one is a tense argument, right up until it isn’t, and absolutely delectable, really. If you’re a fan of Aziraphale bringing up hellfire to go toe to toe with Crowley on the issue, BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP, this one is dunking itself into Soft Town with that accelerant to really drive it home.)

25. The Next Time We Wed – seashadows (T, the one where a mix-up leads to marriage. If drunken mistakes and their aftermath is what you’re after, welcome to the party, folks, because this one’s a whopper. Can people pine while being married to each other? The answer is yes. Can it have a soft ending? Also yes. Can it include the mothers of such characters as Anathema and Newt being wonderful characters in their own right? The answer, incredibly, is yes.)

26. You Can’t Un-See A Dog – @holycatsandrabbits (T, the one where Crowley is summoned and there’s shenanigans afoot. I won’t talk too much about the plot of this one bc I don’t want to spoil it but suffice it to say that this one is hilarious and has some especially gratifying Ineffable Husband silent communication at play. If your entire reason for existence, like Crowley’s, is seeing Bastard!Aziraphale at work, then bunk down here, friendos, you’ve arrived.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

27. Crowley, Big Bad Demon, Can Keep His Cool Around His Crush – @edennovik (T, the one where Crowley…well, see title, and then immediately disregard. Crowley cannot, in fact, keep his cool around his crush. Crowley is doing the opposite of keeping his cool around his crush. Crowley is a ball of anxiety and screaming pining gooey mess and Aziraphale might just like him anyway.)

AU/UA

28. If Not Now, When – @ineffablefool (T, the one where trans café worker Crowley strikes up a conversation with fat pretty Aziraphale. Listen. Y’all know ineffablefool. Y’all know he is a force that cannot be stopped or reckoned with, when it comes to Soft Fat-Postive Asexual Romance. So I do not say this lightly when I say that this is possibly his masterwork. There is a lot of good, good content in his catalogue but the emotional work put into this makes the whole thing stand straight up and resonate. It’s tender and respectful and handles conflicts of gender and sexuality with grace and gentleness and oh no I’m tearing up pls send help I’m DROWNING—).

29. Trip the Light – @summerofspock (M, the one where Aziraphale falls in love first. M for a sex scene near the end of the fic, second half of Chapter 17, so keep an eye out for that if you’re sensitive to it. Oh, y’all. This one goes through canon and a few scenes outside of it and the recontextualizing of those scenes as Aziraphale hopelessly in love and Crowley as oblivious is amazing. Even more amazing: once Crowley finally catches on and then it becomes Aziraphale once again in his role of holding back. Guys. Y’all. My DUDES. I am in the throes of agony. It’s so good.)

30. one love (only for you) – @weatheredlaw (M, the one that’s a vague Snow White AU. It’s truly unfair how poetic and romantic this one is, how lovely. It has fantasy elements and ridiculous vengeful brothers and soft, soft boys in love. A sweet little way to spend an afternoon, tbh.)

31.  in the house we remain – @commodorecliche (M, the one where Crowley’s a ghost in the house Aziraphale has bought. M for masturbation, weird ghost sex, and a harrowing backstory for Crowley; if you’re squeamish about sexual things and not good at gauging how to skip them, or if you can’t stand abuse stories, I would pass this one up. Y’all. Y’ALL. So thoroughly upsetting, this one; the horror elements are real but so is the romance and it’s a beautiful balance of the two. What’s wild is how believable it is; it could easily have been a story about Aziraphale just becoming obsessed with and romanticizing a dead person who used to live in his house but it feels like an actual love story, with Crowley learning how to trust Aziraphale, as well, despite their planar incompatibility. The ending is so unbelievably sweet. And there’s art now! There wasn’t, when I first added it to the list! Huzzah!)

32. pop! goes my heart – @areyougonnabe (E, the one that’s a Music and Lyrics AU. E for a sex scene near the end of Chapter 6 that’s a bit difficult to skip, since there’s a couple of relevant paragraphs after it that set up the next chapter, but if you’re up for the challenge, godspeed. First things first: this fic has ORIGINAL MUSIC RECORDED BY THE AUTHOR AND IT’S AMAZING. Music and Lyrics is one of my personal favorite romcoms, and what’s been done with it is not only accurate to the actual music industry, but accurate to the characters, as well. It’s such a fun story, adapted well, and the writing style is just charming. Fantastic!)

33. For the First Time in Forever – @nicnacsnonsense (T, the one that’s a Frozen AU. I am excited for this one, y’all. The adaptation is already so much fun and it’s only going to get funner. Aziraphale as Elsa and Crowley in an Anna-adjacent role (but not actually bc no incest) is amazing, the Olaf stand-in outshines the original, and the emotional toll is already pretty high. Absolutely worth a read.)

34. Sailor’s Omens – NeverNooitNiet (G, the one where Crowley’s a pirate and Aziraphale is his prisoner. There’s a touch of historical homophobia but that doesn’t matter much out at sea, really. If the boys being clever and bickering and also one-upping beloved series antagonists is something you enjoy, welcome to the party, friends. It’s a good old-fashioned piracy romp that’s sure to satisfy.)

35. Pomegranate Seeds – @nicnacsnonsense (G, the one that’s a Persephone and Hades AU with Aziraphale as Hades and Crowley as Persephone. This one has a unique tone and is also romantic as all get-out; throw in genderfluid Crowley, love at first sight, and Aziraphale being a sweetie, it’s a story well worth its salt, imo.)

36. Laws of Gravity – @brightwanderer (T, the one where Aziraphale invents pining for Raphael. Listen. I think we all know at this point that brightwanderer, or Atalan on ao3, has earned her clout as a GOmens fanfic heavyweight. She didn’t NEED to write an awkward and earnest Raphael trying to go incognito as Crowley into the Garden of Eden. She didn’t NEED to write about how incredibly awkward Aziraphale is while heels over halo in love. She didn’t NEED to have an engaging plot and a wonderful twist on the Temptation of Eve and also the most awkward and obvious besotted angels in the universe. But she did. And we are blessed. So go partake.)

37. Incubus!Crowley – GenericUsername01 (G, T, the series where Crowley is a sex demon and we get to see what that means. This fic threads the very specific needle I personally enjoy where sex is an element of the story and has bearing on it, but the story doesn’t have any actual sex scenes in it. I love this writer’s style and where they take Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship; I love the view of Hell in the first bit; I love all of it, really. A+++.)

38. Everyone But You – @summerofspock (M, the one where Crowley is hired to seduce an angel. M for some saucy makeouts and some post-coital afterglow but nothing explicit. If y’all like stories where a conman is hired to do a job and starts to have complicated feelings about it, especially if those feelings are falling in love with his mark, then here you go. It’s amazing as all heck and hilarious to boot; Crowley learning what falling in love is like is always a treat but omg. Poor Aziraphale. And the most DELIGHTFUL resolution, my goodness.)

39. In Mixed Company, or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell – @theoldaquarian (M, the one where Heaven and Hell have a joint corporate retreat every so often and Crowley and Aziraphale are doomed. M for some adult themes but nothing explicit. Y’all. TheOldAquarian must be stopped. They cannot continue to be so funny and engaging. They cannot continue to have the most corporate and hilariously mundane depiction of Heaven and Hell. They are a MENACE who, in the space of one fic, has packed all the pining of the ages in so tightly that when it finally bursts free, my shoulders physically relaxed and my spine uncoiled. This fic in particular is too much and too wonderful. I really must protest.)

40. Loosely Ballroom – marginalia_device, @mortifyingideal (T, the one where Aziraphale is a professional dancer and Crowley is a contestant on a show with him (for American viewers, think Dancing With the Stars). This fic is so good and so funny and so achingly in-character. I love Crowley as the washed-up old star trying to kick his career back up, I love Aziraphale as the put-upon dancer on his last legs, and I love that they’re both the victim of a studio gimmick and then decide that malicious compliance is their best bet. It’s still early in the fic (…at over 40k words wow it’s gonna be a monster and I’m ready), but it’s going to be so good already, I can just tell. There’s already some art for it floating around by naniiebimworks for the interested.)

JUST SOFT

41.  Repeat the Sounding Joy – @allonsy-gabriel (G, the one where they decorate a Christmas tree. This is a short and sweet look at what the holidays are like for an angel and a demon post-apocalypse and it’s so adorable, you guys. Crowley having FEELINGS and Aziraphale being fussy about his decorating, it’s just a treat.)

42. The Nesting Habits of Angelus Principalum – @obaewankenope (NR, the one where Aziraphale nests and is gently protective. This fic is quiet and understated and so unbelievably romantic without being over the top about it; it’s a quiet coming together that creeps up on you, much like how the realization of Aziraphale’s nesting habits creeps up on Crowley. A lovely little thing.)

43. we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow – @tonyhawksmovingcastle (E, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale wind up faking a relationship on a couple’s cruise. E for Chapter 7, which is completely skippable without ruining any plot. This one gets a double whammy for both engaging plot and wonderful OCs that add to rather than distract from the story. Fake dating is fun enough but when you’re fake dating and also being wingmanned by well-meaning possibly supernatural sapphics, while also having fun in the tropics, it’s a recipe for a good time all around (at least for the audience). So lovely and sweet and that moment when Crowley and Aziraphale finally get together is magic.)

44. Road Trip Games and Love – rgfalso (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale go on a road trip together. This one almost takes place in real time, and has the most intense and emotional back-and-forth while these poor saps try to work out the Thing between them without actually talking about it for as long as inhumanly possible. Of course there are lots of road trip games, and of course those road trip games are a vehicle of conveyance for what they’re actually trying to say, and cue all the misunderstandings in the world. It’s frustrating and cathartic and amazing and the end especially is so, so sweet.)

45. The Most Stylish Wedding of AZ Fell and AJ Crowley – @leapoffaith1489 (T, the one where Aziraphale is determined to discard tartan for the wedding. Y’all. Omg. If relatively low-stakes cute wedding shenanigans are your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale being pleasantly surprised is your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale working through minor insecurities is your thing, welcome, truly, home. Featuring a lovely cast of side characters and a soft-as-butter plot.)

46. The Newlywed Game (Not What You’d Think) – @heavenslittlehellion (NR, the one where a game of drunken truth-telling goes a little farther than anticipated. Hello, welcome to the emotional gut-punch fic, you’ve arrived. The only thing that saves this from dunking into the last category on this list with the other h/c and whump fics is how low-stakes it is and how soft it is when they get past the unpleasant bit. People who love theories on what the Fall felt like, welcome to the table.)

47. On the Road to Love – Mizmak (G, the one where Crowley enters a motor rally race with the Bentley, with Aziraphale as navigator. While there’s great fun in Crowley and Aziraphale needling each other, there’s greater joy in their friendship and tenderness towards the other (and asexual bed-sharing fans, rejoice). It’s a fun concept all around and definitely worth the read.)

48. Mr. Fell’s Bookshop ficlets – @holycatsandrabbits (G, T, the series where Mr. Fell has regular customers and they love the place as much as they love its weird and eldritch owner. For folks who love seeing the Ineffable Duo through others’ eyes, this is a fun series to scratch that particular itch, and has spawned a number of spin-off fics, unless I’m mistaken. It’s a relatively low-stakes series, for people wanting something like that these days, too.)

49. Quiet Reflection – @shinyopals (T, the one where they have to duck into a church to avoid demons. If the phrase “spicy Jesus crackers” holds any appeal whatsoever, go read this fic immediately. It’s heartfelt and hilarious and really that’s all you can ask for in a good fluff fic. Also Crowley being held. Really, that’s all any of us want from life.)

50. Deck the Halls – forthegreatergood (G, the one where mistletoe should really not be this hard to get a hold of. Y’all you simply MUST stick around for the hijinks in this one. They are manifold and hilarious. Does it end in makeouts? Possibly. You’ll just have to read it, won’t you?)

51.  The Secret Dress – GlitterSkullFairy (G, the one where Crowley has a secret wedding dress. This one is very dramatic and sad…and then Aziraphale pops in. Like with all things concerning these two, it immediately takes a turn from there. If putting Crowley in pretty dresses is a thing you enjoy, have a seat and enjoy the show, it’s a softy.)

52. Well…That’s New – @almaasi (G, the one where Crowley doesn’t realize he’s in love. If oblivious Crowley is more to your taste, this is the one for you. Takes the concept “what if Crowley was in love but didn’t realize it” and runs with it for all it’s worth. Hilarious and sweet and wonderful.)

53. serpent, serpent-bearer – @elsajeni (G, the one that’s about horoscopes. I realize the Soft section of the rec list is for things that are Soft but hhnnngkk you guys. This one is so cute. My heart can’t take it. They’re so gosh darned precious, with their newspaper and their horoscopes and their welcome invasion of each other’s personal space.)

54. If Only You Were Mine – @somethingscarlet13 (G, the one where Crowley gets so drunk he can’t remember who Aziraphale’s husband is, just that he’s married. This is a little sugar shot for your day, folks—short, sweet, silly, and did I mention sweet? It is so worth having a giggle at drunk Crowley’s expense, please do read it.)

55. Cupboard Love – @copperplatebeech (T, the one where Crowley is a cranky snek. I would also highly recommend this for folks who enjoy Madam Tracy, especially Madam Tracy being utterly unaffected by being face-to-face with the supernatural and cooing over things like the wonderful lady she is. Fun and a little silly and a lot adorable.)

56. affirmation, appreciation – pearlwaldorf (G, the one where Aziraphale helps someone in need a little differently than expected. This one has Aziraphale taking on the persona of an interested male party looking to pick up the spirits of a woman on the tail end of a messy divorce and Crowley understanding but still getting a little jealous. It’s so sweet and so lovely, both what Aziraphale and Crowley do for this poor woman and how Aziraphale reassures Crowley afterwards. Top notch.)

57. Forget-Me-Not – @dietraumerei (T, the one where Crowley gets amnesia. Not as dramatic as others, he just loses 200 years and it’s temporary, but it’s ever so sweet, watching Crowley fall back in love with the modern world and be gobsmacked that he and Aziraphale are finally together. There’s a lot of reassurance and tender sweet nothings thrown about and I’m pretty sure I developed a heart condition just from reading this, it’s too good.)

58. They Shake The Mountains When They Dance – @copperbadge (T, the one where Crowley finds Aziraphale’s scar. Operating on the theory that Aziraphale was injured in the War in Heaven and that’s why he clutches his leg and limps when he’s discorporated, this is the sappiest, sweetest rumination on the subject I have ever read. Crowley gets so protective and defensive, and Aziraphale is so gentle in talking him down. On the whole, it’s just wonderful and so, so cute. Omg.)

59. Familiar Care – ginger_mosaic (G, the one where the Ineffable Dads have to take their snabies in for medical help. This comes from the Wiggleverse, which on the whole I cannot strongly recommend enough, but this fic in particular centers around the most delightful OC veterinarian who handles Crowley and Aziraphale’s strange family very well. There’s also a fun twist at the end, so absolutely keep reading to find out what that is. And also, immerse yourself in adorable snake baby shenanigans, because they are the best sort.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

60. Rituals (or the Seven Layer Bean Dip Approach to Sex) – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one where no seriously metaphysical angel/demon sex is super weird. Fans of truly esoteric ethereal/occult mating rituals rejoice, for this is your new home. It’s abstract but no less beautiful for it, I think; the imagery and emotional accompaniment are all lovely, even if they don’t meet conventional human romance standards. You can really tell that it means a lot to Crowley and Aziraphale, the ways they show how much they love each other. A weird and delectable little dish, by all accounts.)

61.  Under Pressure – @copperplatebeech (M, the one where Crowley steals kisses. M for sensuality and body worship but nothing too explicit; also could be construed as dubcon kissing, for those of you sensitive to that. Hhhgkk y’all. Crowley thinks he’s being sly getting away with smooching Aziraphale throughout history while they’re both drunk off their rockers but does not count on Aziraphale actually remembering, and then once the Apocalypse is done with and they’re On Their Own Side and Can Aknowledge These Things…well. They do. Crowley is a mess and Aziraphale is a mess and they love each other so much. The writing is so tender and I’m CRYING.)

62. London Calling – forthegreatergood (G, the one with slow-burn wing grooming. There’s so much crammed into this bad boy and it balances it admirably—Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale, Crowley’s relationship with Hell, Crowley thinking about retirement, Crowley getting preemptively banned from a certain European country for being a pest outside of its consulate, Crowley losing his cool over getting to touch Aziraphale’s wings. Humor, aching tenderness, the kind of longing that feels like a high, quavering violin note, tension and release. A beautiful piece.)

63. Elmie’s Ineffable Fireplace Fics – @almaasi (G, M, M, the series that is completely unrelated except for the physical and also figurative appearances of warm fireplaces. M for sensuality but nothing explicit. The first two are mainly short fluff; the third is a long Regency-esque AU with some gender and sexuality shenanigans on top of Real Danger and Intrigue. True to the writer’s promise, all three fics are pretty comfortable and warm, even if the third has some action and tension. They’re absolutely lovely, imo.)

64. The Hands Applauded (And This Was No Sin) – @ticketybye (G, the one where Crowley as a preoccupation with Aziraphale’s hands. Deals with both touch-starvation and touch-aversity in the same fic and weirdly enough it works. The fic is heartbreaking but it has a good resolution and that’s important.)

65. Moult – @sameoldsorceress (T, the one where Aziraphale molts and Crowley doesn’t. This is typical wing-grooming fare…right up until it isn’t. I won’t spoil the twist but rest assured that there is absolutely a twist. Other than that, it’s supportive and sweet and lovely and lord knows we all could use some of that right now.)

66. never get to heaven on a night like this – RestlessWanderings (G, the series where the Ineffable Wives are touch-starved and pining. The only reason this fic goes here instead of in Jaunts Through History is because especially in Crowley’s side of the story, the touch starvation is so horrifically visceral I very nearly bought myself a weighted blanket out of sympathy stress. They are both so afraid and so desperate for a bit of connection, the pining is absolutely ridiculous. And it helps that there’s worldbuilding there that’s both thematically appropriate and interesting to read. Engendered by lesbianism and catholic guilt, I believe the author said, and in this case what a delicious combination with an absolutely amazing ending.)

67. Strength in Modesty – flandersmare (T, the one where Aziraphale has a secret wardrobe. Y’all. I have a special love-hate relationship with clothes and my body and this fic somehow felt very soothing on both of those fronts. Corsetry is front and center, and it’s all very well-researched and well-presented. The story is so quiet and understated and is really told through excellent sensory details. The ending about broke my heart for tenderness. It’s a double love letter to Aziraphale and to fashion throughout history and I love it.)

BONUS

68. Tales of the Them – @lyricwritesprose (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are the Them’s godparents, too. This is such a fun series, with a lot of stories that are not just funny in bits, but also meaningful. For fans of the Them and people who like stories about children that aren’t dumbed-down or grimdark.)

69. Stans in High Places – @doomed-spectacles (G, the one where there’s someone in the Earth Observation department keeping an eye on Crowley and Aziraphale. Another take on the angel(s) in charge of Earth Observation, this time featuring a singular angel called Grigori, and boy is he a cutie. His friendship with fellow angel Pravuil is also blossoming and sweet throughout, and the amount of innocent cuteness throughout is just spectacular. What an adorable story.)

70. Anthony J Crowley, Retired Demon and AirBnB Superhost – @theoldaquarian (G, the one where Crowley turns his flat into an AirBnB. Told as if reading a comment section, it is hilarious and paints a horrid picture of what interacting with Crowley—and Aziraphale!—is like for normal humans. I can’t give you any more details than that, you are just going to have to read it and laugh your head off about it like I did.)

71.  A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon – @asideofourown (T, the one where Crowley writes a book and accidentally becomes a queer icon. This is…so funny. And so sweet. And like most fics where human bystanders try to piece together what’s happening and come away with completely wrong conclusions, it’s utterly charming. You almost start rooting for the internet conspiracy theorists trying to unearth what exactly Crowley is from his (presumably) evasive or strange answers to interview questions.)

72. Hell Of An Angel – WaitingToBeBroken (T, the one where everyone thinks Crowley is a mafia family. This one is funny in a dramatic irony way; the way that every narrator in this is CONVINCED that Crowley is A. a family of redheads that all look eerily similar, and B. extremely dangerous, is entertaining all on its own. It helps that the writing is smooth and the characters are all fairly engaging, too. A fun little diversion for your day.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

73. the only one i want – @qorktrees (T,  the one where Crowley needs some convincing. The hurt in this one is real, folks. But so is the comfort. At last steps are taken to assure Crowley of how much he is wanted, of how much his love is cherished and his touch desired. If you cry while reading this, congrats and welcome to the club, we are all miserable touch-starved fools here.)

74. Always One More Time – boughofawillowtree (T, the one where Aziraphale has remaining psychological scars from Heaven. This one is tough, y’all, real tough. Aziraphale has a couple of abusive flashbacks and intrusive thoughts and his anxiety flaring up is a constant, so people sensitive to that should take heed. That said, this is a very healing fic, with a lot of underlying hurt that floats to the surface. But throughout Crowley does his best to be patient and understanding and even with a disagreement, it remains gentle and loving throughout.)

75. Smote and smitten – @nohaijiachi (G, the one where Aziraphale is a badass and we are ALL here for it. Screaming Hastur, briefly-sentient flaming swords, Aziraphale being amazing, and starry-eyed Crowley are all the ingredients chosen to make a wonderful little fic, and we are all grateful for it. What a guy, that Aziraphale.)

76. Nearly Romeo and Juliet – bisexual_dumbass (T, the one where Crowley’s hiding his panic attacks. This one hurts, friends. This one has miscommunications and fear and boundary communication, all while being so tense even the gentlest touch will snap something. It’s got learning to take care of yourself and value yourself and live FOR yourself. It is very important and I hope a lot of you read it because gosh dang.)

77.  Pigeon Girlfriends With A Long Preamble – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one that’s exactly what it says on the tin. This fic has it all: humor! Torture! Terrible humans! Wrathful Aziraphale! Pain and suffering! Tenderness and care! Pigeon girlfriends! The Hurt and the Comfort are present in about equal measure, but fair warning that what Crowley is made to do just before his rescue is more than a little disturbing, both to readers and especially to Crowley.)

[gascon-en-exil]

Mercilessly Judging the Men of Fòdlan: The Kingdom

It’s been a long time coming, over eight months in fact, but now that it may be assumed that the last of the DLC has been released and the fandom as a whole has settled comfortably into its various camps I think there’s no better time than now to answer that burning question: how raunchily, outrageously gay can the male cast of Three Houses possibly be? For those unfamiliar with this fun little series of mine, I’ve been applying my extensive knowledge and experience of gay male sex and hookup culture to the men of Fire Emblem, originally as a way of reckoning with the refusal of the games themselves to provide me with any worthwhile self-insert M/M content. I stand by that premise for FE16 - you all know how absolutely nothing appeals to me about m!Byleth or his prospects on that score - but in the years since my first outing of merciless judgment with Awakening that idea has expanded into something broader, an imaginative modern AU of sorts where all these guys are into men (if not always exclusively) and willing to put themselves out there in the lewd and semi-anonymous world of hookup apps in search of their preferred carnal delights.

A note on organization before we begin, as this material is too long to cram into one post. Excluding Byleth (as Avatars and their spawn always are for this project) there are twenty-one playable male characters in Three Houses. This makes for an even threeway division to preserve the eponymous conceit of the game, but not a particularly neat one. Aligned with the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus I therefore have below the male Lions, Kingdom knight and Azure Moon-exclusive Gilbert, and Faerghus-based underworld kingpin Yuri. As with all things concerning M/M outside of Byleth and his awkward S rank monologues, the Lions have it the most clear-cut.

The Empire

The Alliance

Dimitri

It’s rare that you can get a feeling for someone’s whole life story entirely from watching their presence in hookup spaces over time, but he’s an exception. Once a sweet, wide-eyed collegiate who looked eager to get dicked down by any reasonably polite and attractive top/vers, hard years have turned him grim and sad and just barely put together enough to be presentable for a clothed face pic, much less anything more revealing...and still eager to get dicked down. He’s been dealing with a lot lately, and even though he’s still game for a quickie from time to time (especially with muscle guys, a shallow weakness of his he’d blush to admit to out loud) a single roll in the sheets isn’t going to make him emotionally available. Apparently he’s already well-covered on that front as it is; with his charisma and open-minded way of looking at the world he’s made many friends and fuck buddies and companions who seem half like boyfriends and half like something indescribably beyond that, and a new trick would be hard-pressed to compete with that and likely wouldn’t want to if it means engaging with his demons. Still an enviable hookup partner though, with a full pert ass and a whole assortment of friends who love to play with him and anyone else who lands an invitation to his bed. His cock has left many a bottom drooling, but unfortunately he’s haunted by the memory of the time when he went too hard and nearly caused a medical emergency. Now he just takes it and doesn’t even let anyone ride him, but there are just as many men who aren’t complaining about that in the slightest. Has a very high chance of winding up in a tender and fulfilling poly marriage that’s still open on all sides - he’s got a lot of hot, sweaty love to give.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: body worship, muscle bears, group sex

Favored gift: a body pillow, on the infrequent occasions where he has to sleep alone with no one to cuddle

Dedue

One of those shy larger men who will never initiate conversation, because he’s been blown off one too many times for shallow reasons and isn’t expecting that to ever change. It doesn’t bother him greatly though, because as his profile states he’s in a relationship and he and his partner only play together so unless you’re only looking for friends - not impossible, as he’s got quite the array of engaging hobbies on display in his pics - you’ll have to accept that this bear has a cub...or something like that anyway. Bad at small talk and even a little embarrassed to talk about his expertise in the kitchen or the garden, it’s a completely different story when the lights are off where he’ll give cocky power bottoms and scoffing total tops exactly what they deserve. Sub bottoms on the other hand bring out his softer, cuddly side, and he’s more likely to be using his considerable weight to lovingly press them into the mattress as he opens them up with his tongue and eventually his dick. Is utterly devoted to his partner but enjoys watching him playing around with third parties, even if he’s almost never allowed to sit on the sidelines for the entire night. To the shock of everyone he’s actually a total vers, even if he leaves most tops stammering excuses and bending over for him anyway. He’s usually polite enough to stick to oral in those cases. He’ll never be the most sociable man, but he’s a real catch regardless in every other aspect and is no doubt looking forward to his inevitable wedding and only sometimes X-rated married life. Still fondly recalls the first time someone introduced him to the idea of sex while cooking, and now he takes it as a challenge (only when he’s cooking just for himself and his sexual partners, of course; he doesn’t want to be unsanitary).

Favored erotic tea time subjects: twunks, voyeurism, cum swapping

Favored gift: a chef’s apron short enough to let his junk hang free

Felix

Has a biting retort for every unsolicited nude and “looking?” ever sent to him, and he gets a lot of both when his pic is just enticing enough and his profile is full of enough acerbic wit to provoke the kinds of guys who actually read those things. Claims he’s vers, gets pissed whenever anyone tells him that’s just code for bottom, gets even more pissed after hookups when his partner points out that that’s totally true in his case. Prefers oral to conversation, both giving and getting, and he’s got a remarkable talent for handjobs that surprisingly doesn’t seem to be born from excessive masturbation. Not so great with fetishes - he punched the first guy to pull his hair while he was giving head, and passes made at him during his workouts leave him more annoyed at the interruption than aroused. Disarmed by anything too soft and cutesy so he’s not great with fems, but it’s unclear if this has anything to do with his lingering daddy issues that he’s not working out in the bedroom because they’re (probably) not like that. Not sentimental at all, but he’s probably got that one longtime slow burn affair he doesn’t bring up with his tricks. If anything ever comes of that he’ll vanish immediately from the app space, but until then he’s up for a 69 followed by a good long pounding - much longer than you’d expect from someone of his frame. Good thing too, because he loves making his partners cut loose and give it to him raw and hard.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: “straight” guys, dildos, pig sluts 

Favored gift: high-quality lube. and lots of it

Ashe

Everyone’s BFF, sweet and affable and able to bounce from friend group to friend group even without always having to take his clothes off. Usually finds himself as the token twink surrounded by men who are very much not that, because they value his friendship and reliability (and also his ass, as expected). Did not have the best home life and has probably had to do a few shady things to get by, but with all that mostly behind him anyone would be happy to date him or even just to take a walk with him, as he’s quite outdoorsy when he’s not taking care of relatives or less responsible friends. A bottom by expectation because there’s not much else one can infer when he shows up to bars and house parties alike in the company of guys twice his size who aren’t shy about being casually handsy with him. Still, has learned to be quite deft when the need arises and knows how to stimulate on multiple fronts, whether for one partner or several. His weakness for muscles is genuine too, and he loves a firm chest as much as taking some guy’s thick meat. Paradoxically doesn’t have a lot of patience for dumb jocks, but since he knows just about everyone worth knowing (and sleeping with) in his area and works the freckled fresh-faced young cutie angle with an artlessness that surprises some of his less gifted peers he’s bound to wind up in a comfortable relationship of some kind or another. Prefers to have sex with the lights on, and if given the option will cuddle for a long time afterward to avoid turning them off. His ass has freckles too, but he rolls his eyes when he gets asked that.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: gym sex, spit roasting, breaking in new bottoms

Favored gift: a sensible jockstrap, for workouts and for dates

Sylvain

Everyone you know has slept with him, but almost never more than once. You might have even met him in person long before you encounter his minimalist profile with its headless abs pic hitting you up with a shot of his erection measured against a beer can followed by an address. Gets a lot of action on that pic alone, but repeats are few and far between when he pulls out his phone right after pulling out of his guy of the hour and starts browsing through what’s on offer again and slow jerking. Not a big fan of FWBs met through hookups since he always feels like they’re being too clingy even if they just happened to get horny for him again a few weeks later. Does not like to talk, especially about his family, and he almost never extends an invitation to spend the night. Still, as callous as he is that cock is impressive and he knows how to put it to work. Good with his mouth too, and true to his cultivated total top persona he’d sooner rim than blow. He’s also successful and likeable enough in his personal life to have buddies who’ll play around with him, and he might even have some kind of nebulous long term thing going with one or two of them that they strictly don’t discuss. Bottoms only as a challenge, but he’s not great at it and doesn’t have the stamina to last very long while riding. Is on PreP and uses condoms religiously so he’s got that going for him, but testing after sex with him is still recommended because there’s really no telling how many other holes he’s filled that week. Likes twinks and twunks, but loudly refuses to ever be a sugar daddy no matter how desperate he might get in his later years assuming he doesn’t die of untreated syphilis or something equally appropriate and ridiculous.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: marathon fucking, double penetration, open relationships

Favored gift: a fleshlight molded into the shape of his favorite fuck buddy’s hole, for sentimentality

Gilbert

His pics are neither very current nor very flattering, and he doesn’t excel at small talk although he’s evidently been around long enough to know how to get an open-minded hookup over to his place from time to time. Encounters are fast and fumbling and drawn out more by his waning libido than anything else, and half the time he’ll settle for watching a guy play with himself in front of him while he makes an effort to get into it. It would be inaccurate to say that he’s not a romantic man; rather, it’s as though all his passion has been left behind in a difficult former life that he only reveals some of in long wistful moments over multiple encounters. Doesn’t get many repeats however on account of the lackluster performances, and also because his stubbornness bordering on self-righteousness about certain topics becomes very grating very quickly. Based on the stories he tells and the few pictures he has to show he was quite a catch in his earlier days, but circumstances and being closeted until much later in life kept him from exploring as much as he wanted. Has the potential to end up in a loving if not particularly sexual relationship with someone provided they’re extremely patient as he works through and/or learns to set aside his numerous hangups. There are worse fates...but never, ever call him daddy. It brings up a lot of bad memories, plus he just thinks it’s weird. Kink is something he left behind decades ago when he resigned himself to the knowledge that he wasn’t going to be getting much vanilla action, much less anything more exotic.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: mutual masturbation, actual straight guys, spooning

Favored gift: the balls to get some closure

Yuri

A consummate professional, albeit one whose marketing strategy carefully conceals that fact and also leaves no room for the kind of casual bigotry that flourishes on hookup apps - having a problem with “no fems” is expected from the build and the guyliner, but he’s all for equal opportunity sex even on top of that. Accustomed to the usual array of lonely and horny men who hit him up for pics and dirty chat and the occasional good time, and skilled enough in a variety of roles to perform whatever’s being asked of him. It’s not entirely clear where his own tastes lie; even the muscled closet cases who show up in his messages on the DL don’t seem to do all that much for him if they’re not paying. A former career in the arts has left him with an entertainer’s flair for pleasuring his clients both in and out of the bedroom along with an eclectic skill set that always finds a way to get put to work during sex. He can grind his hips, swirl his tongue, arch his back, and moan in the just the right ways to drive his partners wild, and all that experience also lends itself to his ability to patiently tutor even the clumsiest of lovers into something resembling competence, enough for them to get off if not himself. Bottoms more often than he tops, but he’s vers enough in skill and in preference to pivot when necessary and will probably have little trouble keeping this gig of his going later in life as well. He may not ever end in a proper relationship, but he’ll still do well for himself in an unorthodox way in keeping with the curiously world-weary optimism he sometimes espouses during pillow talk with guys who actually interest him enough for conversation.

Favored erotic tea time subjects: flip fucking, big top/small bottom, religious kink

Favored gift: creative restraints, for when he’s feeling acrobatic

[mortallycoldmagazine]

Fic Recs!

So apparently it’s fanfic appreciation day? In celebration, here are some of my favourite fanfics- all MCU. I love them with my entire heart. READ THEM ALL!  :D (mostly stucky and stony, fyi) 

THIS IS IN COMPLETELY RANDOM ORDER. 

1) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817463/chapters/31774497 - this is the only post-CACW ‘make-up’ fic that seems hella realistic and makes me actually forgive Steve. 114k

2) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14317536/chapters/33037362 - in which Bucky can turn into a white wolf, and how that affects the MCU’s natural pattern. 141k

3) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14910729/chapters/34537617 - In which Steve is Hades and Toni (fem!Tony) is Persephone. I love powerful, dark!Toni. It’s so beautiful. 41k

4) https://archiveofourown.org/series/41492 - If you want to cry like a baby, read this. AU where Tony comes back from Afghanistan and is diagnosed with cancer. SO DAMN POWERFUL. I’ve only read it once because it makes me Feel So Strongly agh. 290k

5) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7123282 - the first crack fic on this list! Teacher!AU in which Bucky and Steve are teachers at school who are infamous for their hatred for each other... and no-one knows they’re secretly married. Shoutout to @lesbiandanbeau​ for introducing it to me, it’s SO MUCH FUN. 18k

6) https://archiveofourown.org/series/582637 - incomplete series but it’s SO GOOD. In which HYDRA doesn’t give Bucky the serum- instead, they turn him into a sex demon. Contains a LOT of dub-con/non-con but it’s so damn good. 336k

7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/6606808/chapters/15115414 - powerful Fem!Tony (toni) makes me * feel things *. Pants things. Because she’s so badass, goddamn woman. (aka: the MCU...if Tony was actually Toni). 

8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176539/chapters/37798343 - even more fem!Tony. But this time, Toni has some ancient bloodlines to back her up. (vampire-ish, Addams family inspired Toni). Toni could bash my kneecaps in and I’d say thank you. 

9) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13640571/chapters/31325814 - in which Bucky is an (illegal) necromancer and Steve is the SHIELD agent that catches him in the act. But in a sudden change of heart, Steve lets Bucky go... and their relationship evolves from there :D

10) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18347003 -honestly, I’m surprised this is the first Soulmate!AU on here because I’m SUCH. A. SUCKER. For soulmate AUs. Steve/Bucky/Tony, with ‘writing on skin = I can see it on my skin’ soulmate AU. Beautiful. Captures Tony’s character really, really well. Damn. 30k

11) https://archiveofourown.org/works/1614746/chapters/3439820 - OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD. I’ve always wondered what would happen if Bucky came back from CA:TWS and was completely and utterly compliant, and Steve didn’t realize just *how* deep it went. This answers that question. SO GOOD. 102k

12) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823671/chapters/29276760 - in which Bucky’s mask is nailed to his face... but Steve saves the Winter Soldier anyway. It’s amazing. Goddamn. Read it. 71k

13) https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504761/chapters/19490446 - in which Steve is Death. Yes, Death. But Bucky is still Bucky. AKA: The story of how Bucky and Death somehow fall in love. 16k

14) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469145/chapters/16973895 - IF YOU LIKE WHUMP, THIS IS 426K OF THE BEST WHUMP I’VE EVER READ. There basically isn’t a single moment when someone isn’t being punched, stabbed, whipped, starved, something. In which Steve and Tony are abducted by aliens and sold into a slave mining camp.  I love it with my whole-ass heart. 426k

15) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16295684 - one of the shortest fics on this list, but it makes me cry + feel hella empowered + fall deeper in love with Steve Rogers every time I read in. Aka- six times Steve was aggressively pro-choice. READ IT. 5k

16) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11779137/chapters/26559057 - you know how everyone reads a book in their lifetime that literally changes who they are as a person? This is that book, for me. It is so beautifully written, incredibly powerful, respectful, introspective, philosophical... I could literally rant about it all day. Wow. In which Steve Rogers and his Howling Commandos liberate a concentration camp; their mission? The rescue and rehabilitation of prisoners experimented on by Arnim Zola, among them, a man named Bucky. SO. AMAZING. 47k

17) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16204610 - crack at it’s finest. In which a Very Stoic Winter Soldier has a secret boyfriend. That none of his teammates know about. (spoiler alert: it’s modern!Steve). And his teammates * might * be under the impression that he’s actually a dog.  17k

18) https://archiveofourown.org/works/3476579 - OH FUCK. This fic makes me cry faster, and more, than any other fic I’ve ever read. Literally- 8k, and I cry at *least * three times every single time I read it. I don’t even know why- it’s just so, incredibly, absolutely bittersweet. I love it. Read it.  In which post-CATWS Bucky has a lot of brain damage, and is making his way through life despite it. Wow. 8k

19) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11838204/chapters/26720631 - in which Steve jumped after Bucky, and HYDRA acquired two Assets. SEE IT’S SO GOOD EVEN THE SUMMARY IS AMAZING. WOAH. SO GOOD. 55K

20) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7271731/chapters/16511242 - In which HYDRA kidnaps five-year-old Tony Stark, and raises him as ‘The Mechanic’. Of course, that doesn’t stop him from becoming IronMan. Or an Avenger. 54k

21)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/16457597/chapters/38540813 - SO GOOD. I’m a sucker for healing/recovering fics, but who cares. Amazing. Steve/Bucky

22) https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787102/chapters/44573662 - 3K OF AMAZINGNESS THAT’S INCOMPLETE AND MAKES ME WANT TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT. SO GOOD. SO GOOD. HOW IS IT SO GOOD. WTF. Irondad.... but not. Aka, Peter Parker travels through the multiverse to try and find Tony Stark. But instead, he finds someone with the same face.... whose name is Robert Downey Junior? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH 3K

23) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772824/chapters/34165730 - this makes me feel. So Soft. You don’t understand. If you want 93k of Steve fretting about nothing and Bucky being confused yet adorable, this is for you. I love it with my entire heart. 93k. 

24) https://archiveofourown.org/works/349478 - WHY DOES NO-ONE TALK ABOUT THIS FIC. In which Tony gets amnesia, and starts forgetting things. And people. and Steve. 43k 

25) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12912708/chapters/29501541 - CRACK AT IT’S FINEST. I love this so much. Tony comes out as Ironman, and the entire world goes ‘yeah, right. no.’ It evolves from there... I’ve literally been ON THE FLOOR IN TEARS from laughter from this fic. I love it. Winteriron. 19k. 

26) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15878580/chapters/36997887 - another AMAZING crack fic. The metaphors are hilarious. You don’t understand how much I love this fic. It’s more than, like, Bucky loves plums. I LOVE IT. 44k 

27) https://archiveofourown.org/series/597010 - modern!bucky + cap!Steve. Bucky is the sassiest person ever and i love him for it. Read this series. You won’t regret it. 33k 

28) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15555630 - Why am I such a sucker for crack fics. 4k. steve/bucky. I love it. read it. it’ll take 5 minutes and your day will be So Much Better. 4k

29) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1021446 - lmao. In which a Very Stoic Winter Soldier has a secret boyfriend. (spoiler alert: it’s Steve). “BUT WAIT!” I hear you say. “Didn’t you already rec this fic? Wasn’t that #17?” and I reply “YOU FOOLS! I LOVE THIS TROPE SO MUCH I’M RECCING TWO FICS OF IT BECAUSE IT OWNS MY ENTIRE HEART!” and then you read them both. 2k. 

30) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13414524 - in which a Very Drunk modern!Bucky is dared by the modern!Howling Commandoes to ask this guy in a bar for a piggy back ride. Spoiler: the guy is cap!Steve. crack. the best group-chat fic I’ve ever read. 2k 

31) https://archiveofourown.org/works/2741975/chapters/6146123 - if you want the longest, most exhaustive breakdown of Stucky ever, this is your fic. 731k ( YES 731K) OF AMAZING METAPHORS, emotions, and so. much. pining. I love it. 731k. 

32)  https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577 - Post-CATWS. Bucky is addicted to heroine. and has adopted two children. What else is new? 131k

33) https://archiveofourown.org/works/10720710/chapters/23753940 - if you haven’t read Celestial Navigation, can you actually call yourself part of the MCU fandom? It’s. So good. I’m in awe. Always makes me cry lmao. 210k

34) https://archiveofourown.org/series/195689��jesus christ this is good and emotional and heartfelt and sincere and funny and just the best thing ever read IT. Post-CATWS. Bucky’s new mission: protect Steve Rogers. Now, if only Steve was aware of this fact, and would stop looking for him. 264k.

35) https://archiveofourown.org/series/429256 - * claps hands * UNDERAPPRECIATED FIC TIME. In which post-CATWS Bucky is taking down Hydra, recovering, listening to music, and.... has a psychic connection with a spaceship? Okay then.

36) https://archiveofourown.org/series/1120239 - so damn good. In which Peter Stark is abducted at 6 years old by HYDRA, and trained to be the infamous Black Spider assassin. What happens when, ten years later, Ironman captures him? 139k

37) https://archiveofourown.org/series/780747 - the most well-written, in character MJ I’ve ever read. MJ/Peter. I love it with my entire heart. They’re so cute. 

If I had to pick a top 5, though, they would be: 35, 33, 32, 23, and 34. (see corresponding list numbers) Perhaps. Choosing that was like choosing a favourite child ohmygod. Really, just read all the fics. 

Hope this helped you find some new fics to read! Happy reading, and have a great Fanfic Appreciation Day! 

______

Here I’m tagging a bunch of people who I follow and are into the MCU that I think might like this. Sorry if this is annoying. 

@petersbenjamin @pepperony3000 @antifastark @sleepyrhodey @sapphirestark @mariahiill @vanddyne @spideyjlaw @magunahstark @iron--spider @proof-tony-stark-has-a-heart @stevebuckyfics @hufflebucky @rescuetony @tropicalcap @fucking-hell-sebastian-stan  @fuckyeahblackwidow @sabrecmcstonyficrecs @nacho-bucky @jaamesbbarnes @ironfamjam @underoosstark @yellowdistress @lesbiandanbeau @musings-on-bucky-barnes @the-ss-horniest-book-club @fysebastianstan @siriuslypersea @omg-just-peachy @tonystarkd @cptniron @sad-stark @antifastark @caroldanverts @sleepytony @madasthesea @serumsteve @incorrect-spiderson @kentuckybarnes @evanstar @holostark

________

Feel free to tag anyone else you think might enjoy this! :D 

[energonalucard]

A FEM Team of my Own Design (RED Edition)

Usually, I don't like doing this kinda stuff. One: I don't usually share my ideas and I am very nervous. Second: FEM characters are one thing, BUT A WHOLE (TWO) TEAM makes me sweat. The good sweat, but also a nervous sweat. Because I am now sharing a personal part of my brain and my love for woman. Beautiful. Lovely. Yes. 

@medics-secret-shipfic-folder, this is one half of those FEM's I talked about! 

Is this more OC team's then canon gender swap? Yeah, and that's because I don't think that's my endgame here, I didn't make these for a gender bend AU, I made them out of love and from a community of great idea makers. I'd rather make OC's then be another generic half-hearted bending AU maker. <3 <3

Also, this really is just a dumb fact thing as I don't want to give away plot stuff. Fun facts and getting to know them a bit. 

(Yes, I said PLOT) 

═══════❖══════════════❖═══════════

-- RED Team: 

𝗦𝗰𝗼𝘂𝘁: The default FEM Scout you see around. Pony-tail, blonde like normal Scout, Bostonian. Has a bit of dimples but I swear, she'll punch you if you call her cute. 

She/Her. Straight, but an Ally. Or so she says. Nobody believes her.

But something you won't know is how many sisters she has! The answer is four. Four sisters and a single dad back in Boston. While lower on the sibling count then most Scout's she is far more likely to NOT talk your ear off in a large group... but will corner you and chat you a blue streak if your like Sniper or Spy and seclude yourself. Since she has less family to push her to run, she's a slower Scout but she can run ALL day pal. Even Medic needs a break but she keeps going, going, going...

Will beat you with heels/pumps (Spy will have loaned them) if you even offer the idea of her wearing them. Sneakers, pal, are Gods gift to feet.

Right handed, and uses left only to throw a ball or clever. Only. ONLY. 

Once drank Mad Milk. No one saw them for three days. Medic had her strapped to a table. She apparently was found in town on a rooftop at 6 AM after vomiting loud enough for neighbors to notice. She got better, but has amnesia from the incident.

Favorite weapon of all time is the Holy Mackerel, because its freaking hilarious and Spy's are disgusted by it. Also reminds her of her dad only being able to cook fish and roast back home in Boston.

𝗦𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗿: Looks like the canonical Soldier, but her hair is similar to the Battle Bob (https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Battle_Bob) but with no bangs and it barely peaking from her helmet. Blonde, American, and named John Doe respectively. 

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual). 

Has a thing for tank tops and will wear them around base when not on duty, because she's a very sweaty person and her clothes suffer (and who ever does laundry as well). This was a compromise. Trust the RED Team on that one (Medic approved).

Helmet 100% of the time though.

Bra comes off = be ready for a fight maggot.

Has more lower body strength, absolutely loves the Manntreads. But don't underestimate her running Original. See her on Battalion? She most likely has Rage ready when she pops out of nowhere.

Has no idea why people tell her walking around naked is weird/distracting/rude or whatnot. She's covered up! In jam (Pyro mourns their jam and preservatives cupboard)!

𝗣𝘆𝗿𝗼: Looks... exactly how a Pyro should. Like a balloon bodied Pyro. Yeah, nothing strange here other then their SASS. Dear heavens.

They/Them. Non-binary.

You've only seen these Pyro's around three or four bases in your entire LIFETIME. This walking bag of fire does not have time for ANY bullshit. Loves doing the windup middle finger when someone does something stupid/rude. Isn't really all that serious as they are made out to be but you get it.

Still loves Balloonicorn and cooking even though they act like any other merc. Has a tea set with crudely melted crayons on its outside.

Wanna get BACK here? BACK into THEIR base? Turn around and head BACK son. Backburner and Thruster Pack predator, all day unless the team suffers.

Covers up Soldier in a towel if she's naked. Sows up Demo's pants if she splits them. Engie loves them when they swing by with anything cinnamon realated. Second most likely to do everyone's laundry.

Arsonist Guardian of the Year Award. 

𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿: Just like Scout, the typical Femgineer model but this time, she's more chubby then her skinny model on Gamebanana. Her overalls like default Engineer helps her self esteem though. Brunette, Texan, and still a shortie. 

She/Her. Bi(romantic/sexual), but leans more towards men.

Ever seen a small volcano of 5'4'' and puffy red cheecks? You've met it, you've angered it. But you ain't staying conscious for long. Not with her weilding a Southern Hospitality just for this occasion.

Has made many comments about making traps and watching unfortunate folk "disappear" from her daddy's old farm. Nobody questions why the cameras in the building have tiny barrels attached to them and a laser sight. 

Has mentioned a husband or at least a male partner once to Sniper. Never elaborated. Never showed a ring or even a smile when talking about him.

Cinnamon and jam enthusiast along with Pyro, and the most flustered when Soldier is covered in it. 

Hair bun is a must unless she ties it flat with pins. Short hair because she don't wanna catch fire. Smells like burnt metal and a dulled oil smell nobody can rinse out of her clothes. Her hardhat is permanently on her head, googles are a go too. Welding smock and overalls in and out of battle.

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝘃𝘆: Like before, like Gamebanana FEM Heavy. Brunette (like two of her sisters), Russian, and actually has scars all across her chest if you can see her shirt peak off-hours.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involved with RED Medic). 

You probably think Medic is the one most likely to do laundry since I said Pyro was second right? (I'm not that predictable ;>) Nope, its Heavy. Heavy doesn't like machine washers unless she has to deal with jeans or other thicker fabrics she knows won't dry in under 12 hours correctly (because they fight EVERY day). She washed unmentionables too, and does not make it weird. Until Sniper literally has to answer about why all her underwear is stained yellow, Sniper she just wants you to have nice clean clothes--

You ask Pyro for dinner if you miss a meal or have a diet going on. If Heavy catches anyone not eating, they eat double. Diets? Heavy always grew up with the mentality you ate what you could get, but Heavy is not heartless. Since food types are abundant, she is careful about diets. But she'll still make you eat it double. 

Her girlfriend doesn't eat pork products, so she understands. (Slightly)

Natasha may be her right hand gun but her doctor will always have her heart and soul. Still bought a better bed for Natasha though, but don't tell doctor. 

Once beat a male Scout cause he called her ally Engineer a fatty. Has had to fend off two Scout's from her team's Spy ("Heavy, they had information I needed." / "Intelligence? Bah."). Actually stepped on a drunk Demo's crotch on accident, but did apologise. 

Loves her girlfriends muscles way more then her curves, she has no idea why. But she can appreciation a nice bottom when she sees it. 

Two little sisters, an older brother who's tettering around step-brother, and a mother who's nearly paralyzed from the waist down. But that woman was her light, she did things not many woman do anymore and for that wisdom and learning, Heavy is grateful. Mother also instilled a fear of swatters with a shoe tied to it. Creative, but scary.

𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻: Actually looks like The Demowoman made based on Drew Wolf's own design, but I think a bit more fuller in the cheeks and chin (more square). Scottish, eyes sharp as a sass lass, and a thick as hell skull.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual).

Once cried in a pile of bras while drunk. Not her own. That's how everyone learned about Spy being... more on that later.

Has a father and mother, but both are leaning so far towards insanity she gave up listening a long time ago. Still doesn't back talk them though, she just pacifies them by dividing her money and saying she has many jobs.

Gains weight like crazy, and its not all the alcohols fault. Food is just very heavy in America and since the team is 1/3 American she feels enlarged everytime a meal based around or for the Americans is brought out. And dear god Heavy, bear goes straight to her muffin top. Spy notices her uncomfortable nature when eating and generally tries to swap out their plates (Spy fussing at the chief before dinner saying she needs X on her plate and not Y, just so Demo can keep her ideal self). (Don't tell Demo, she's too drunk to notice it)

Actually will hug Soldier when naked and be like, "Nothing weird about it". Has actually kissed Spy's hand like you'd do royalty as a joke. Has actually spun Medic around in a circle in a bear hug before. 

She's all for makeup, but really, all she can manage normally and steadily is lipstick. At least she can wipe it away if she wants (can't wipe away the pain of stabbing your only good eye with a mascara brush). 

Nobody touches her hair, never. But she likes doing other's hair. She isn't all that good with cutting or styling or maintaining hair, but playing with hair or just running her hands through it is amazing. The body hair on her legs is shaven and so are her underarms, but her arms and "moustache" that Scout notices are well grown out.

Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Launcher Quickiebomb Laun--

Hair always under a beany, nobody sees her hair until much later. She had it all in one wide french braid. Wait, doesn't she normally fail at braids? How did she get that? 

𝗠𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰: (Okay, this is where similarities in the FEM models stops. To me, I don't really like the FEM Medic model as much as I should for OC's so I'll explain Medic as best I can.) Just like any male Medic counterpart and she has a square-ish chin, with curves almost as boxy as some of her cosmetics. But its a good boxy, she's wide with muscle and shoulders to carry injured teammates. Black hair, German, and the creepiest white teeth you've ever seen.

She/Her. Lesbian (romantically involve with the Heavy). Gay Energy™.

Thicc thighs saves lives. Like, no joke. She is mostly muscles in her legs and torso so everyone assumed she was good at running. Even Scout. Once lifted Demo with ease in her arms and gave Pyro a piggyback ride all at once. It did strain her back and she was slower, but she was fine after dropping Demo in a safer spot to sleep.

Her posture is shit, but she does form corrections regularly, and uses a pillow to cheat the system if she's grumpy enough.

Her teeth. God, her teeth anywhere in blue lighting make weaker mercs a bit dizzy. You've never seen teeth have a blue-green tint like hers, it feels like watching a horror movie permanently set in a blue shaded tint.

Does not eat pork products, and won't elaborate. Will eat beef, but not pork. Maybe she just hates it? Maybe. A diet? Even Heavy shrugs it off now when it happens.

Medic gives the thumbs up for Soldier walking around in tanktops. Naked Soldier is also a thumbs up. All those bras Demo collected once had Medic sorting through them happily. Actually figured out Spy's real cup size. 

Medic has banned Sniper's ace bandage bras. Not in this house, not under her roof. She fits Sniper for personally made bras, Spy bought and tailored. 

Loyal girlfriend. But gayer. Heavy is fine with it, and actually partakes in showing everyone love sometimes too. Since Demo is also affectionate, it can't be too bad.

Push-up queen, but will drop in the dirt in exhaustion afterwards. She only beats Soldier by a few points and mostly runs on spite. 

Has actually stollen all her team's uterus'. What?! She gave them all back later! Just... someone else needed them first. And in a Female vs Female war zone her teammates weren't planning on using them. But they are back now! Well... not all.

Has actually tried to make a Spyper out of an old male Spy and Sniper she used to fight. Both just despawned and targeted her the next day. Sadly. 

BLU Demo's line about shagging Medic's husband always makes her go into a laughing fit. 

Has a ring ready for Heavy, because Heavy is best wife material and loves her dearly.

𝗦𝗻𝗶𝗽𝗲𝗿: (Changed a bit too.) Taller then her Gamebanana model, and god is her face longer and more like regular Sniper. You've heard of laugh lines but the Sniper has frown lines, and the dip in her cheeks has wrinkles from the sun. She has a unibrow growing almost as fast as you can wax it, she leaves it be. So much arm hair. Brunette, Australian (New Zealand), and her hands are big for her size.

She/Her. Bi(romantic), Asexual. 

Never shaves. Never.

She has a mom, a dad, and a big brother. Her brother snipe's as well for RED Team and they have secret mail chains going between them (not so secret, Administrator knows). Her parents don't know she's Bi and after what they said to her brother about him being Trans, she never wanted to figure out. 

Her brother is actually fully transitioned with the help of a Medic who seemed pro-Trans. Of course the doctor waved that off but he had been careful about the procedure enough that they could tell he was a good doctor about all this.

Her brother is the reason she wears ace bandages for bras. So he wouldn't feel bad. She just never STOPPED wearing them after that, and she always reasoned it was because of her broken family and wanting to hold on a little longer. A "little longer" was nearly nineteen years of wearing it to help her brother mentally. Until Medic banned it. Then, she had tailored bras that were strapless but wouldn't fall down. Sometimes goes without the bra onto the battlefield and will tie her shirt off as a makeshift support. She doesn't feel she betrayed him, just... cloth is real itchy sometimes.

Jarate. Isn't... entirely enthusiastic about hygiene outside of basic shower stuff, brushing her teeth, and trimming her nails. Her underwear is clean but since jarate is... yeah, it stains her clothes. Jarate is a lot harder for females to make with how pants work.

Yes, has mooned the enemy Spy before. Not on purpose. Many times. Yes, her pride is shattered every time it happens.

Had long hair upon arrival to this war. She refused to cut it even as her team warned her about what long hair can cause. She changed her mind after the male enemy Spy yanked her around by it and smashed her head in a windowsill. She had her ally Spy cut it after she could stomach letting it be tugged, even for a cut. Spy was gentle, and asked her questions on what she prefers: suits or dresses. 

Suits mate.

(And that BLU Spy was never seen again on the battlefield after a week.)

𝗦𝗽𝘆: (Different from the model ENTIRELY, I really do not like the Spy FEM model at all. But I have grown more warm towards it lately, probably from my BLU team ideas *wink* *wink*) Wears a suit like all other Spy's, and a balaclava as well. Her shoes are as Italian as they come and could take out a man's eye they are so sharp. Blue eyes, sharp chin and nose, and she is NOT a mother.

She/Her. Pan(romantic/sexual)/Polygamous.

Is not the mother to any children at all. She does not need nor want any. Still gets all the men thought. And ladies. 

She actually does not have a uterus at all, she caught wind the doctor had taken something out of her (what Medic doesn't) and didn't want it back. Turns out, she really does not care for the missing body part. Oh well, a Spy's lose is a Medic's fortune.

Has her breasts restricted a bit by a special SpyTech bra that distributes muscle instead of pressing it all against her lungs. She looks like a D cup for her bust size. Is a E cup naturally. Medic drools when she sees the tag on the bra for the first time. Sometimes wears buisness casual around base, without her SpyTech bra and using a normal one for comfort. Attracts Demo and Soldier like flies when she does. 

Cuts and manages everyone's hair. Sniper was her first job, and that was easy. Next was Medic coming in it get a half fade. Next was Soldier to keep her hair barely peaking from the helmet. Demoman was the hardest to convince and she can only touch her hair if she "uses those leather fancy gloves" she always wears at all times while braiding Demo's hair.

That BLU Spy from before? Gutted multiple times over the course of games throughout a week. His score suffered and he was moved to a team of lesser skill. A temporary "fix" to the problem. She still wants to gut him but can't do it outside of work hours as he's employeed to BLU (costing her a contract). But did find him in a seedy city with the mother of his child, and casually reminded him of his deeds out of spite while in disguise. He apologized, but she refused to take it. She wasn't the victim. They parted ways after that and promised to never see each other again. 

Will actually hit Scout on the head. Hand open, palm ready. Right in the back of her head. Stupid American loudmouth...

Likes the Dead Ringer with the stock revolver a lot, and likes being active. Really good at acting like Pyro, its kinda scary. It's probably the sassy movements they mastered.

Third least shameful having no top on. Proven.

Has secret meetings with BLU Spy outside both base ranges. For some reason, even though the ritual of enemy teams Spy's meeting and exchanging whatever they have for whatever they need is long over they both still come out here. Probably to get away from the base and at least smoke in peace, or at least she hopes so.

-- BLU Team... (soon)