#fun fact deer will eat birds and snacks if they can

[raileurta]

Hybrid au :3

Thinking about deer Miles and black panther Miguel who is extremely gentle with him. Like that's his baby and he loves him so much. 🥹

They met one day when Miles was separated from his herd. He was crying in a meadow stress eating some flowers. Miguel saw him and was going to eat him but Miles turned around at the last sec. Miguel saw Miles' beautiful hazel nut eyes an exact replica of his dead daughter's with crystal tears in them. It broke his heart. He decided he couldn't just hurt this precious fawn. Miguel just walks away.

Miles with zero self preservation decides he likes this strange big cat. So he just follows Miguel around because he knows he can't survive on his own and this is the closest thing he had to a protector. Miguel is at the beginning annoyed at this but he grows to adore Miles. Treating him like his own cub.

[bellyasks]

can you write anything about a non-human character (robot, mythical creature, eldritch monster, etc) who doesnt really know how much food a human needs?

Your character is in the care of…

…a robot designed to feed nutritional shakes to people, intended to help those with executive dysfunction. The sound of a stomach growling prompts it to take action, and the only thing that seems to make it stop is the inability to fit any more.

…a non-corporeal entity who doesn't eat, but is aware that humans do. With no concept of stomach capacity, they decide it's better to err on the side of more and provide their human colleague with far more food than they can possibly handle.

…a giant creature much larger than them. They know the human can't possibly eat as much as they can, so they dial it back a little bit when they offer your character dinner, but they still overestimate their capacity by a mile.

…a harpy whose mama bird instinct gives them the urge to feed your character. They keep on offering food, and your character, feeling nervous about the talons, is reluctant to refuse their hospitality.

…a robot assistant who knows humans need to eat, but isn't quite up to speed on how much or when. They're constantly bringing your character more and more snacks and insisting that they eat, determined not to fail as an assistant by letting their human starve.

…a centaur, who's used to eating for two stomachs rather than one. They forget that your character is not, in fact, filling a second, larger belly on top of their usual one, and when they invite your character over for dinner, they want to make sure they leave absolutely stuffed--centaur-style stuffed.

…a colony of tiny fairies, who have kindly slaughtered a deer to feed your character. The fairies don't eat meat, and there's nobody else around, so your character is stuck dealing with the deer themself. They can't let the fairies' hard work go to waste, can they?

…an angel who only eats for fun rather than out of necessity, and has absolutely no stomach capacity themself, able to enjoy as much as they want without getting full. They forget that humans have limits and take your character on a food-filled day out on the town.

[a0random0person]

Fish for dinner

a few days ago i wrote a pilot for something i have in mind, i posted it on wattpad and left it there ever since. Sooooooooooo i got the idea of also posting it here. I had a lot of fun writing it but i feel like i should get better at writing characters when they're under water. 

things to leave clear is that the character is a 12 yr old and an oc of mine, also the sister but she's around her 20's. For some reason tumblr has been giving me trouble posting this.

Yeah i like fish, my favorite is salmon. older sister often cooks thee food based on what she hunts. Deer? Will be preapared for dinner. Some bird? Maybe as a snack or breakfast. Fish? She dislikes fish. Bear? They're delicious. However, i was not expecting to be the one hunting this time, i have never done it before! Atleast not by myself. Sister will always, like every single time without exception, take me to hunt with her, and i like it, it’s so cool seeing her use her bow and kill thee animals with one single arrow. She's impressive like that. But all that coolnes she irriadates isn’t enough to keep me from being… a little bit impulsive, but it’s not my fault, i just looked at a rock path while we were hunting together, though it would be nice walking down that way and did it! And i was sneaky enough for sister to not notice. Okay, let me tell you what happened, because it was a LOT. “SISTER! Where are you?” my voice came more quiet than loud, which annoyed me, obviously. “SIST-” a sound interrupted my second call for her “sister?..” then it went on again, a sound that was like a mix between a growl and water moving, and it came from deep within the forest. It is tempting search for the sound.. Tempting enough to convince me, monsters aren’t real afterall. I walked between the trees, looking all around for any signal of what might have done such weird echo. Only two minutes in i saw a lake, then the same sound tingled my ears again, it was then when i knew that growl was coming from the big lake. Only someone stupid would risk it and ignore the sign near the lake that said ‘DANGER AHEAD, AVOID AT ALL COST’. Good thing I'm not smart. As a matter of fact, i only have a damaged spoon with me to defend myself, and the spoon doesn’t even look like a spoon, it looks like a fork, a malnourished fork. At least it’s sharp… my shoes were getting dirty with each step i took closer to the lake, the silence in the forest disturbing, now im face to face with the lake, glaring back at whatever is in there. “Coward! face me!” i attempted to get the source of the sound to appear, but of course the thing is a coward, who wouldn’t be afraid of the great future heroe Adam hor- All thought i had was interrupted as i was abruptly pulled into the lake by something, It's awfully cold and too deep, so deep that all i could see was a dark blue almost as if i was deep in the ocean, and i can see what pulled me in and the same thing doing the sounds. Big, really big, a reptile like monster with a long neck, its eyes yellow and intimidating, the teeths enough to break throughout steel. The water muffled my scream as i swimmed sideways and barely avoided a bite from the monster. i had to escape this, AND FAST. My feet kicked as i tried to reach the surface before the long neck monster could try and go for another bite, or else i might be the one for dinner. But my body was too small for me to swim in time, of course it was! The thing was already going for it and here i was, hopeless and… no. What would my sister do? She would think of a plan and get rid of this thing and make it for lunch, i need to think like her, she’s a heroe, my heroe! Rolfus (i’ll call the monster rolfus, an ugly name for an ugly creature) was merely centimeters from eating me whole, but at the last second i managed to almost avoid it once again. his or her mouth catched two fingers of my right hand, i cried but the tears got lost in the endless water. My body was in autopilot when i used the fork on my other hand to stab it in his lips, if reptiles had lips, somehow the stab i did was strong enough for it to let me hold into rolfus, the beast now trying to get me off but couldn’t.

The gods must know why, but at my birth i was blessed with a body stronger than the rest, and not only was it physycal strenght, no no no.. It was on everything! Endurance, skills, speed, beauty (not to brag), strenght. It never came in handy (except on getting the ladies, and also men for some reason) but at this moment of life or death it came to my rescue. Using the fork once more, i climbed to rolfus eye and stabbed it, causing a loud roar to leave him. i would have gone deaf if it wasnt for the water. With all the adrenaline in my body i pulled strong enough to dettach the eye from its socket and lost my hold on rolfus, the currents pushing me upwards near the surface. i remembered that I'm a mammal and not a fish, so without hesitation i swimmed and left the lake, running away with now the eye of that monster and with the lack of two fingers, and a bleeding hand. If running was a job i would be a millionare. i only stopped my legs from moving when i heard a familiar voice in the distance. “ADAM!” I turned to look at the voice, staring back at my sister pacing towards me, and in one swift look she picked me up “what is wrong with you!? you shouldnt have-” her expression changed from worry to total shock as she saw the state of my hand and what i was carrying. ”Adam-” my body felt weak, tired and exhausted, but i still have some little energy to speak. "I want fish fork dinner"

[bookwyrminspiration]

Omg wait I've heard of road runners. I love them. They really do run

My reasoning for Maui having Kea wings is because he's a cheeky little shit, like a Kea. Like these birds take every chance they can get to be a menca to society, from just squawking obnoxiously loudly to eating the window seals off of cars. They are deceptively beautiful. Like Maui. But yeah the rainbow has got something to do with it, and that's bexause they're very pretty wings. It's mostly because of the green, though, and Maui is very aesthetically pleasing in green. And it's his favourite colour.

Keas also take things from people to get a reaction, they're very intelligent birds (Some of the most intelligent, in fact, and often more intellegent than mammals)

Keas have also benefitted from human changes to their habitats, and will scavenge meat off of dead deer killed by people, among other things. They also nest on the ground, even though they can fly (One of the few native birds that can!) and are very adaptable

-Heathen

They do! They really do run! I've lived in New Mexico for over a decade and it was only a few months ago when I saw a roadrunner's full wing span in person like. Their wings are just there for fun they're actually just running all around and in the roads like little idiots who are gonna get themselves hit by cars. Those roadrunners sure do love running in the road.

Also I didn't need to read anything beyond "cheeky little shit" to know everything I needed to know about the comparison you've made between the two. That is Maui right there. He is a menace and I have full confidence that Maui, even if he wasn't a bird, would eat the window seal off cars. Delicious midday snack regardless of your species.

Green!! That does seem to be The Maui Color, so I can see why that would fit him as well. I am looking at pictures of these pretty birds and you're very right, they are deceptively beautiful. Like those are a quality stunning set of feathers right there! Which of course means its right up Maui's alley. He loves pretty things and being pretty

Oo smart birds? I am even more intrigued animals are so cool. This also might explain the article I found but haven't yet read about keas excelling at statistics. I'm so proud of them and their object trajectory <33. Very interesting that they've benefiting from human changes in that way. I have at least one if not two cousins who enjoy hunting, which isn't really related but it's what you reminded me of. I know at least one of them has/used to go hunting, but I'm unsure about the other one. I don't really know anything that goes on with my extended family.

Shout out to keas for being adaptable and Maui-like, truly a noteworthy accomplishment. Also I'm sure their nests are more advanced than just burying themselves in dirt but for some reason rn I'm imagining Maui just diving headfirst into the ground and wiggling around like a worm to make a hole in the ground that is his nest. So I hope he enjoys that dirt.

This is all excellent information and I did not know anything about keas until now so thank you for informing me!

[kibybun]

The Feeling is Mutual

Yandere Hawks x Yandere + Tsundere reader

Tw: yandere, obsession, stalking, cussing, violence, murder

Enjoy!

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You were currently running for your life. Why? Because you're a badass. But really, a sleazy pervert thought he had the right to touch you. Too bad, you punch quite hard.

"Get back here you little bitch!" The pervert was definitely strong due to his muscular build but you were definitely fast.

Thundering footsteps take the quiet alley by storm as you start to pull ahead of him.

"Go suck a dick, you bag of cat piss!" You look back to mock him but your feet disapprove. Your face scrapes against the lose gravel along with your hands and knees. "Fuck...."

"Wanna repeat yourself?" He comes to a stop at your side, bends down, and yanks you up by your hair.

"You disgusting bag of cat piss!" Once again you're too cocky for your own good. You spit in his face and he throws you against the wall.

"Little bitch!" He wipes his face before grabbing your throat, pinning you to the wall, and raising his fist.

"Do it, you bag of cat piss!"

His face fumes red as he tries to hit you, only to be stopped by vivid red feathers.

"What the hell?" His grip on you loosens so you take the opportunity to kick him in his precious no-no square. He collapses in pain and grovels on the ground.

"Hehe do I get a thanks for saving that pretty face of yours?" You instantly feel your blood boil but as you look at your "savior" the only thing you feel heat up are your cheeks.

His whole appearance was absolutely delicious but what caught you most was how god damn beautiful his wings are.

"Hehe what's wrong, like what you see?" This over grow chicken then takes it upon himself to flex his arms and wings.

You scoff. "Nope." 'What. The. Fuck. What's wrong with you me!?!' You turn to hide your blushing face to help imply your unimpressed demeanor.

"Owwww you wound me! Anyway why were you running from that guy, doll?" You choke on the air, trying to register the pet name he gave you.

"Pfft doll? Try coming up with something more original, stranger." As you make your witty remark, both of you fail to notice the pervert silently escaping. It wasnt like he mattered anyway.

"Fair point, angel. Name's Hawks." He holds out a hand for you to shake. Somehow this name was even more cheesy but you loved it.

"As if that's better..." 'Shut the hell up with your sass!'

You go to shake Hawks' hand but before you can grab his, he grabs yours. He swiftly but gently pulls your hand to his lips to place a kiss atop of it. You snatched your hand away at mock speed.

Embarrassed and flustered to manage to stutter out, "H-hey! That's disgusting! I still have no idea who the hell you are!" But you loved it oh so much.

He merely laughs. "Well you can trust me, plus I dont know who you are so, what's your name?"

"What do you mean 'you can trust me'?"

"Awe, ignoring my question? Anyway what I mean by that is I'm pretty trustworthy. Being number 2. hero and all." Hawks leisurely puts his hands behind his head.

All you felt was utter shock. Not only did the number 2. hero come and "rescue" you but he has been FLIRTING with you.

"So? I still dont know who you are." 'Oh my god, you absolute idiot you have no hope.' But he just laughs it off.

"Still a valid point so let's make a deal. I give you my first name and you give me yours plus your number." You have to stop yourself from gagging at how adorable and cheesy that was.

You give him a deer in the headlights look.

"Oh c'mon! I'm basically putting my whole identity on the line and all I'm asking is for your digits plus a name."

"But why?" 'Stop questioning it and take it!'

"Why not?" You give a final scoff before mumbling something. "Can you repeat that a little louder angel?"

"(y/n)."

"(y/n). (y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n).(y/n)."

"What the hell are you doing? Stop saying my name." 'No, please keep saying it.'

"I'm saying it eight times so I never forget it. Cuz, ya know, eight on its side is the infinity symbol." He smiles the most innocent and pure smile anyone could make.

Your heart squeezes as you cant handle this. "That's dumb..."

"Maybe but you still need to give me your number."

"Name first."

"Ooo assertive, I like!" He steps closer causing you to step back.

'Please come closer.'

Very quickly your back hits the wall and Hawks brings his face dangerously close to your ear.

"Keigo." His voice was deep and had the effect of honey in your ear. It happened slowly leaving the sound stuck in your ear yet still traveling through your body.

As quickly as it happened, Keigo had pulled away and passed you his phone.

"Keep my name a secret, 'kay?" He smiles and winks only causeing you to function less and less.

"Whatever..." You put in your number and name, passing the phone back to Keigo.

"Thanks angel! I'd love to text you right away but I'm still on patrol so be sure to look out for my text later!" He swoops up your hand again to give it another kiss before flying off.

"Hey!" His response was laughter. As you begin to walk back towards your destination your face cools and you hold your hand close.

'He's suck a dummy but he's my dummy.'

Around 6:30 pm you receive a text from an unknown number.

'Hey angel.'

'Hey over grown chicken.' "Why the hell are you being so mean?!"

'lol are you calling me big?'

'Nope, tiny with succulent wings.'

'So you're only using me for my wings?! 😭'

'Yup!'

'Daw you dont need to lie to me angel.'

'But lying is so fun~'

'So you were lying!'

'....shit.'

'Ha! I knew I was irresistible.'

'Irresistible to carnivores.'

'You're an omnivore.'

'I have amazing self control.'

'Oh? prove it.'

'Pfft how?"

You leave the kitchen with your snack and plop on your bed. You were too engrossed in your conversation with Keigo that you didnt notice him peering through your window.

He simply adored how you try to contain how happy you become when you get a message from him.

Now was the test to see if you truely had amazing self control. Your phone buzzes and you quickly switch to your messages only to nearly die.

Inches from your face was the sexiest abb picture you've ever seen. His body was so well toned and to add to the picture his wings make up most of the background with very little blue sky poking through.

You were too distracted oogling and drooling over a simple picture it took a moment before you noticed his next texts.

'How's that self control treating ya?'

'I bet you're drooling over me.'

You pout, send a reply, and set your phone down.

'I think I'm a vegan now.'

After a second Keigo can notice the panic on your face as a faint "was that too mean?" was heard.

'Then I guess I'm the forbidden fruit.'

You bite your lip as you switch over to social media. Before your little banter started you were stalking his accounts. You didnt follow him or like any of his posts so he wouldnt be given that satisfaction but you truely did like them.

The only thing you disliked was how there were other girls who thought they could ever get with YOUR Hawks. He asked YOUR number and gave YOU his name. Clearly he was yours.

'Hey, you still there?'

'I like forbiden fruit. I have to shower. I'll text you in the morning, sweet dreams❤'

Keigo's heart flutters at the simple message. He flies home to shower as well.

While in the shower you slowly think of ways to eliminate the girls who think they can look at your Darling.

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Two weeks have passed and have you been a little busy bee. You had to work to sustain life but you made it to every event your beloved was at. You made it to every meet and greet, interview, photoshoot, villain attack, his window at night. It really helped that you have a stealth quirk, so that way you wont be entirely in debt!

It wasnt like Keigo to not notice he was being followed, he knew exactly what you were doing, but he felt too endeared that his angel was watching out for him. He was also quite impressed on how you were able to sneak into his interviews and photoshoots.

Keigo felt guilty not being able to give you the attention you deserve but he tries to make up for it by watching you on his patrols and after you leave his house to go to sleep.

Tonight was no different as Keigo was perched on your apartment balcony. You liked to sleep with the curtains drawn back so you can see the stars but you always forgot to lock that door. Did you ever lock it?

Keigo silently fusses over how dangerous that is as he opens the door and kneels down at the side of your bed. His left hand holds on of yours as his right cups your face.

He was addicted to watching your sleeping face. So innocent. Plus he got a break from your adorable tsundere additude. Dont get him wrong, he loved it just he desires affection too.

He slowly retracts his hands to pull out his phone to take a picture. He probably had hundreds of pictures of your sleeping face but he needed to document everything. Tonight you must be having a bad dream, evident by the fact your eyebrows were scrunched and you sticking your tongue out ever so slightly.

"You need to stop being so adorable angel." He takes his pictures and kisses you forehead.

He wanted nothing more than to cuddle you but he had an extra early patrol. He slides the door to your balcony closed and flies off.

When you wake up with your mouth dryer than a desert. "Blah..." You grab your phone and text Keigo.

'Goodmorning early bird.'

You knew he'd be awake. You had memorized his schedule. Today after patrol he had a meet and greet then a photoshoot.

'Morning beautiful.'

You truely cant help smiling and blushing at all the cute things he says to you.

'How'd you sleep?'

'What's this? Concern????'

You roll your eyes at his teasing continue to eat your breakfast.

'Keep teasing me and it wont happen again.'

'lol sorry angel, I slept ok but it would've been better with you~'

Did he just say that? Oh my god he just said that.

(y/n). exe has stopped working. As your brain starts to reboot, your phone pings.

'How'd you sleep?'

The witty comments part of your brain was still rebooting, preventing the tsundere in you to actually work.

'Maybe if we spent the night together we'd sleep better.'

Now this caught Keigo off guard. He expected to be called a pervert or weirdo. Not for you to agree.

'Do you maybe wanna watch a movie tonight?'

He gotta shoot his shot sometime. Why not now?

Your brain could not comprehend what was happening. Were you dreaming? No, your sure you're awake. Was he joking? No, he didn't seem like the type to jokingly ask that. Maybe the world was just rewarding you for being so dedicated and loyal. That's probably it.

'Where and when?'

Keigo does a few flips in the sky to try and ease his excitement. Too bad that fails. "Its a date!"

'6 @ my place?'

'You better pick me up on time and have dinner prepared.'

'Anything for you angel!'

"Oh my fucking god it's a date." You jump up and down excited, running to your closet to pick out your outfit.

Since it wasnt a fancy restaurant or anything you decide to go more casual. A cute sundress maybe? Either way you put on your outfit and head out the door to go to your darling's meet and greet. It wasnt too far from your apartment so you were able to take a leisurely stroll there.

As you arrive you see the big crowd already forming. You didnt want to get your outfit dirty so you decide to stay more towards the back. A peppy blonde girl pushes you slightly to the side.

"Bitch.." you mumbled under your breath.

"Uh what did you just say?"

Not wanting to embarrass Keigo or have him have to separate a girl fight you decide to step down. "Nothing."

"Good choice bitch."

As the two of you reach the middle of the crowd, the girl takes out her phone. It was hard not to ease drop when she is purposely talking in your ear.

"Hawks is so hot. I bet he has a big dick too. Maybe after this he'll let me take some of that stress off of him~!" She puffs her chest out trying to get a reaction from you.

On the outside you're calm and collected but inside all hell was breaking lose. You wanted to snap her neck, pull out her fingernails, and slice off her tits.

Seeing as you're unfazed she continues. "I bet he'd be screaming how good I make him feel. He'd ask for my number and I'd break his heart. He is just a hunky of meat after all."

That's it.

You activate your stealth quirk and she questions where you went. You pull out a knife you always have on you, just in case, and glide it against her throat in a swift but silent manner. She collapses to the ground and a shrill scream sounds, alerting everyone near.

Before you run, you look at Keigo. His eyes meet yours. You know he can see you even if you were invisible. You know he knows you just killed her. His face holds disbelief but his eyes shimmer and smile for him.

You run from the crime scene and wash the blood from your hands.

Six o-clock slowly arrives and there was a knock on your door. You know its Keigo but you dont know how he found your adress. Opening the door you see him smiling so brightly.

"My little angel shed her white wings!" He traps you in a hug. You gladly hug him back.

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not! You did it for me didnt you?" You look up at him and nod. "Then its perfectly fine." He smiles at you before picking you up bridal style and closing your door.

"We better hurry, dinner is getting cold."

Loosely based on my Stalker x Stalker headcanons! Thank you so much for reading, have an amazing day!

Kiby~💚

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #341

“anger, misery, you’ll suffer unto me”

Would you risk your life to save a total stranger? I don't think so. Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No, and I never would. Grow up. Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Yeah; guilt would eat me alive otherwise. Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? Fucking ew, no. Have you ever held back a well-deserved compliment because you were jealous? No. Do you guilt people into giving you what you want? Ugh, no. Would most people consider you better than average looking? Ha, no. For yourself, would you rather have a perfect body or high IQ? Give me the perfect body, living in my horrible one has affected my mental health badly enough. I'm fine with having a moderate IQ. I just want to feel happy in my own skin. Have you ever embarrassed some intentionally in public? Wow, no. Have you ever used a false ID? Also no. Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I'm embarrassed to tell people I don't HAVE a job. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? I don't. I'm sure it was RP-related and not friendly, but I don't remember the exact convo. Have you ever got a D or F on your report card? I want to say no; I think the lowest I ever got was a C. If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? Ugh, no. I'm sorry if you're into it, but I'm just not. I would want to ensure they knew their uniqueness and individuality was seen. Is there anyone that you wish was IN your life who used to be? There's a large number of those kinds of people. What brings out the worst in you? Probably when I'm building up towards a PTSD meltdown. I get VERY short and snappy and am convinced everyone hates and wants to leave me. My mouth also has NO fucking leash, and I know I can say very mean things that I'll regret later. What do you prefer, Skittles or Starbursts? Skittles. Mike & Ikes or Jolly Ranchers? Jolly Ranchers for sure. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Waffles (with syrup). Don't knock it 'til you try it, I'm telling you. What are some wild animals commonly found where you live? Besides birds obviously, there's squirrels, deer, opossums, raccoons... Have you ever had a lucid dream? I think I've had just one. What's your biggest problem at the moment? Probably my anxiety having stunted my growth in so many areas. Have you ever turned down a job offer? I don't think so, no. What's the longest hospital stay you've had? For what? I think my longest was almost two months for suicidal thoughts. Two months might sound long, but it was like... my third or so psych hospital stay for that same reason. What's something really basic that you're terrible at? Even the most simple math. I don't even know the majority of my elementary multiplication tables. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? I have one there already, but I plan on getting it covered because it was an impulse tattoo that I feel no connection towards. Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? My old house, yeah. Are you a beach, country, or city person? Country. Living in the suburbs has definitely reminded me of that... Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing, by a long shot. I make typos texting too much. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yeah. Who is the last person that you said "I love you" to, besides family members? Sara. When was your first real relationship? Sophomore year of high school to early college. Have you ever cried over an ex? I've cried the entire mass of water on Earth over an ex lmao. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yes. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? No. Have you ever copied someone else’s homework? I think I have once or twice, but obviously with consent. What’s a hobby you would like to try out? If my legs worked like actual legs and I didn't sweat like an absolute pig, I would like to try out herping, but without actually interacting with the animal like picking it up and scaring the daylights out of it. I'd just be happy enough looking for reptiles, amphibians, and inverts to photograph instead. Does that still even count as herping? What was the last event you attended? My youngest niece's birthday party. How about the last event you organized? I've never organized an event. What’s something you get excited about doing and want to do it right away? Whenever I take nature pictures, I'm immediately keen to get them into Lightroom and do the postproduction. Is there anything you feel you’re better at than anybody else? Definitely not. What’s the biggest insect you’ve ever seen? If you exclude places like the zoo, that would probably be a rhinoceros beetle or something. Oh no, actually some kind of local moth I don't know the name of. They're beautiful big white boiz. How about the biggest spider? I might be mis-remembering, but I believe at a reptile convention I went to with Sara, one of the vendors had a goliath bird eater tarantula in one of the cups. I do know it was some tarantula species for sure, though. Who was the first person to break your heart? My dad. Obviously not romantically, but him just splitting on the family with no proper communication absolutely broke my heart for years. First person to give you flowers or candy on Valentine’s day? I'm sure that would be my parents. If you exclude them 'cuz that's kinda obvious, I believe it was Aaron, my first boyfriend. I'm pretty sure we were together on Valentine's Day, because I remember getting him a giant Hershey's Kiss. First band you obsessed about? I wasn't truly obsessed with any band 'til Ozzy in middle school. Can you do a backflip? No; I've never tried and never will. I was and still am too afraid of breaking my neck. Like I have a MASSIVE fear of paralysis, particularly from the neck down; that fear is actually the biggest one that keeps me from driving, fun fact. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Of the two, definitely a pessimist, but I at least think I align most with being a realist. What’s the biggest lie you’ve told someone? I'm unsure. Have you ever been hit on by someone of the same sex? Yeah. How many doors are in the room you’re in? Just one. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? No. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Tyler once drew a picture of him and me. It was cute. That guy still dove in WAY too fast. Have you ever dated a redhead? I haven't, but I love redheads. Natural red hair is just gorgeous. What are your thoughts on facial hair on guys? Historically, I seem to generally like some, but it really depends on the guy's general appearance. I can like none at all or a full beard and mustache, it doesn't really matter to me. Did you go anywhere today? No; my mom is in Florida with her brothers totally cleaning out Grammy's house, so she's not here to take me anywhere. Do you have any nieces or nephews? Oh yikes, I have a lot. I honestly can't count because I've lost track of how many boys and girls Katie has. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do? Jesus. I'd rather die; some things just aren't worth living after, and I'd have no desire to keep going if I killed my father. Did you ever cry at the end of King Kong? I've never watched it, actually, but I. LOVED. The video game. I haven't played it in years and only faintly remember how it ends, but I don't remember crying. Are you in any amount of pain at the moment? Quite a lot, actually. It's kinda a TMI subject so I won't delve into it, just know I'm hurting like a bitch. What was the last sugary thing you ate? I snacked on some chocolate chips earlier today... which I really shouldn't have done, but I think I had reasonable restraint and didn't totally binge. When was the last time you did something extremely stupid? Who knows, that's not a rare occurrence, it feels like. Have you been to any parties lately? Only my niece's bday party in February. Thankfully it was kept pretty small, given Covid; not that anyone in that family besides my sister gives a flying fuck about precautions, though... Can you touch your pinky to your thumb around your wrist? Ugh, no. Close, but not enough. I still have thin wrists and hands, but yeah, yay for being overweight. If you were to start a charity, what would you call it? I'd hve to put more thought than I'm willing for one survey question. I'd have to decide what KIND of charity I want to start first, which I'm unsure of. Probably something related to animal wellfare and conservation or something similar to the Trevor Project. Maybe LBGTQ+ youth disowned by their families... I dunno. There's so much good I wish I could do. Are you comfortable with your body? Holy fuck no. It's only gotten worse since I started gaining weight again and almost entirely erased all weight loss progress I'd made. What is your recent inside joke? Most recently made? Idk, man. I don't make those often. Would you rather be a human, vampire, or a werewolf? Er, I'm good with being a human. If I was a vampire or werewolf, I wouldn't exactly be very welcomed, I'm sure, and both have seemingly painful traits to cope with. Are you good at giving directions? It is absolutely impossible for me. I have NO sense of direction, like, at all. I don't know highway names, local exits, etc. etc. etc. etc. Why did you last curse? Pain when readjusting myself due to aforementioned issue I'm having. What is your purpose in life? I hope it involves animals and spreading words of peace and an appreciation for art. What is one of your weak points? I'm very, very, very dependent on others. I'm really working on trying to correct that. I can barely do shit on my own as is. Who was the last person you heard snoring? My cat, haha. Would you rather shower by yourself or with another person? 100% by myself. Another person would just get in the way and make me VERY self-conscious of my body, even if it was my romantic partner. Just please leave me alone to hate myself for 10 minutes. :^) What was your last addiction? You could say my current one is John Wolfe, a really funny let's player I've gotten into. Been bingeing some of my favorite games he has playlists of for a few weeks now. You are in a tank full of spiders, what do you do? Well one, I'd like to know what kind they are. Venomous? Harmless? You gotta give me the details. If I don't have any, then I'm admittedly freaking the fuck out, even though I know I should stay very calm when trying to get out. Fear would win, though. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you? Saving the world from what? But odds are, yeah. I don't cherish my pretty damn mediocre life more than I do the lives of what, 8 billion people? Have you ever stayed up all night just to talk to someone? Yeah. When was the last time you eavesdropped someone? I kinda do that sometimes when Mom's on the phone and I can hear her from my room, and if they're on speaker. Particularly if the subject is me. When was the last time you went to a club? I've never been to one. How have you been sleeping? Poorly. Are you adopted? No, I'm not. Do you like scrapbooking? Not really, no. Do you collect anything valuable? "Valuable to me." <<<< This. Nothing of great monetary worth, though. Have you ever been beaten up? No, thankfully. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? I don't think so, in my personal life. What was the last thing you killed? An ant. Have you ever used someone for money? I never could, no. When was the last time you went to the zoo? Sigh, it's been many many years. I'm so ready to get my goddamn legs back in shape so I can go again, this time with a REAL camera, too. Last time I went was when I still only had a Kodak EasyShare; I have a professional Canon camera now with much more education on photography too, so I would be in absolute heaven with at least twenty memory cards in need, haha. Maybe next fall... Is there a teacher you hate more than anything? I actually never had a teacher I hated in my entire school career. It really, really is as simple as just being a respectful student. In most cases, I should emphasize, because I do understand some educators just suck. Now I had some teachers I wasn't very fond of, but most certainly none that I hated. Do you own colored eyeliner? No. Do you have manners? I honestly think I'm very mannerly. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? We last had to put my dog Teddy down; he had cancer and was literally withering away. I knew in my very core that even if we didn't bring him to the vet to euthanize him, he would've died naturally in a very short period of time; I doubt he would've survived another night. Now I'd like to move on. What is your favorite medication that you take, and why? The combination of Vraylar and Lamictal is the reason I'm alive. It keeps my bipolarity and depression under control. Do you decorate Mason jars? No, but those are some of my favorite crafts visually. They're very pretty and cute. Can you see the mountains from where you live? Oh hunny, I wish. Did you ever play pranks on April Fool’s Day? As a kid, yeah. I don't anymore. I'm not really even a fan of April Fool's Day as an adult because of how cruel some jokes assholes play are. Which instrument would you play if you could learn to play one? Maybe violin. Do you part your hair on the left side, right side, or in the middle? The left. What are some names you like that start with the first letter of your name? Uhhhh Bianca, Braelynn (look I know it's so stereotypically Southern but it's pretty)... and idk from there, those are the two that come to mind first.

[writingkeepsmewhole]

The Cowboy and The Girl.

Okay here it is the first part of my Joel Miller fic. I’m so excited to do this! You don’t even know. This part is mainly back story but I think it sets up well. Tell me what yall think. I hope yall love it as much as me! Okay I’m shutting up now.

Trish was a bright girl skipping a grade or two. She thought her life was perfect until the end of the world came. Living on her own mostly just trying to make it back home everything changes when she meets a dark haired man named Joel.

Joel Miller x OC Trish

Warnings: A word or two.

Taglist. Tell me if you wanna be added: @amandamaesweetheart @jodiereedus22

Before Sitting on my hotel bed I brushed my hair it still wet from the shower. I needed it after the long day of walking around and looking at the sites. We were in New York. A school field trip. Being alone from my parents at fourteen was definitely exciting.

“You know he is going to propose.” Belle my best friend since the 3d grade says sitting on the bed in front of mine. Her chocolate skin looking flawless from the lotion she just put on. We both skipped from 1st so we stuck together always being the youngest in class.

“Shut up no he won’t.” I say her talking about my boyfriend.

“I bet he will. He is crazy about you.”

“So? We are too young to get married.”

“I said propose not get married.”

“Then what be engaged threw school? What about when we go to college?”

“Why not?”

“Because..”

“Because?”

“I don’t know if I want to marry him.” I say shrugging.

“What? Since when?” She asks throwing a chip at me making me laugh.

“Since he is afraid of everything. I mean I get it his dad is a doctor and it's probably scary and God knows what he reads about or sees but when he starts telling me what weird diseases I can get from doing my laundry at the laundromat is ridiculous. Like tonight I took a drink of his pop and he flipped out.”

“So he don’t like sharing food, a lot of people are like that.”

“Yeah I know but I want a man not whatever he is turning into.”

“Like a lumberjack?” She asks making me laugh.

“No, like someone who will protect me, someone who can put up with my crazy ass and doesn't make me make all the decisions. Someone-.”

“Who lets you steal their food.” She says pointing at me.

“That.” I say smiling.

“No, he is a good guy he just worries so much. Like let me breathe.”

“Ohh I know a cowboy.” She says making me laugh.

“Yes! I want a cowboy I can saddle up with.”

“Kinky.”

“You are so gross.” I say throwing my pillow at her.

“Hey I’m being a supportive best friend.”

“As you should be.”

“Well I guess I should let you get to bed. Have fun dreaming about your cowboy.” She says standing up walking to the door.

“I promise to give you the details.”

“Oh you better.” She says smiling.

“Good night love.” I say waving at her getting under the blankets.

“Night boo.”

I woke up to the phone ringing in my hotel room. I pick it up and press it to my ear someone panting on the other side.

“Hello?” I ask sitting up hearing someone run down the hall.

“Trish is that you?” Asks the familiar voice of boyfriend.

“What’s going on Louie?” I ask sitting up.

“I don’t know, there is some kind of disease, people eating each-.”

“Louie?” I ask into the phone when the call drops.

“Well that was weird.” I say getting up seeing the sun start to rise.

Stretching I walk to the bathroom but stop when someone screams. When my doorknob starts to rattle I back away from it fear pumping threw me.

Going to the phone I pick it up nothing coming threw not even a tile town. I pick up my cell phone it having no service.

“What the hell?” I ask turning to the TV.

Turning it on what I left on a movie channel was the news. A woman looking scared and rasled.

“Reports are coming in from all over there is a nation wide atack. Please remain indoors until a local officer can get you somewhere saver. Please do not panic if you see someone-.” I jump as the TV turns to loud static.

“I gotta get out of here.” I think getting up and quickly changing.

Grabbing my backpack I put some clothes inside it, and all the snacks the hotel offers. Picking up the necklace with my parents picture inside it I put it on. Them giving it to me when I left for this trip.

“Please be okay.” I say sending up a pray to protect them until I got back.

Picking up the map of New York all the students given one I shove it in my bag as well.

I put the pack over my shoulder and open my hotel door. When I find the hallways empty I take a relieved breath.

At the end of the hall being the elevator I slowly start to make my way towards it. Hearing footsteps I freeze up as someone walks out of a room.

“Benny you scared me.” I say looking at him.

He stubbles making me assume he is drunk. When he lifts his head to look at me I gasp as his mouth is covered in blood.

Screaming he lunges at me.

I turn around and starting running in the opposite direction him close behind me. Seeing an arrow pointing to the stairs I push that door open and start running down the steps. Seeing a woman leaning on the wall her holding her stomach I stop.

She looks up at me her eyes foggy.

“He bit me.” She says her head falling forward her passing out.

Holding back tears I continue to the ground floor it opening in the car garage. I jump at the sound of sirens and horns fill my ears.

Every car is trying to get out at the same time them slamming into each other.

“Hey!” Someone says grabbing my arm.

I spin around seeing my best friend Belle standing there.

“Oh my gosh!” I say pulling her into a tight hug.

“We gotta get out of here. These people are crazy!” She says pulling me with her.

“It was on the news. Some nation wide thing!” I yell as we weave threw the cars. When we get out on the main road everyone is running around screaming.

“Trish! Belle!” John yells pulling up next to us him in not his own car.

“Come on.” He says looking at us threw the window.

“It’s better on foot.”

“We’ll be saver in a car.” Belle says getting into the car with him.

“Belle come with me you won’t get far in that.”

“Stop being stupid and come on.” She says waving me in.

“I’m not going.” I say backing up something telling me to stay on foot.

“Be stupid then.” He says driving off.

Feeling alone more than ever I start running not knowing where I'm going just away from here.

Hearing screams I duck down behind some trash cans I alone runs past me and slams into a wall not getting back up when it falls.

“What’s going on?” I ask quickly getting away from the body.

Pulling my map out I look at it seeing where the nearest police station is. Seeing that it’s only a block away I put the map back and start to head that way avoiding the people running past me.

Walking around the corner I realize what they were running from a turned over car is in the middle of the road it on fire.

Even from where I stand I can see the bodies inside them dead. Belle’s lifeless eyes staring into mine.

15 Years Later.

I sit up with a start my heart pounding. Sweating from the dream, or memory I should say. I rub my face trying not to think about the job ahead of me today. I would have to go hunting. I didn’t mind it and wasn’t half bad after ten years of practice but I didn’t know if that group had past threw. I didn’t feel like having to kill anymore.

Hearing the birds chirp outside the spring air drifting thru the old house. I roll my shoulders my back cracking as I stretch my arms over my head.

Picking up my bow and quiver I pick up my canteen needing fresh water.

‘Might take a bath today.’ I think walking out of the house.

It used to be a cabin tourist rented now it was just a cabin in the woods of Tennessee. I don’t know why I kept trying to get back home but I figured I made it this far for a reason.

‘Maybe they are still alive.’ I think following a deer trail.

I walk back to the cabin a rabbit strapped to my hip and a shirt full of berries in my hand. Walking into the house I don’t notice the door being open. The lock was busted a while ago so a breeze could open it.

Setting the food down in the kitchen I take off my bow when the floor over my head cracks. Looking up I watch the dust as something moves over the floor.

‘Please don’t be a bear.’ I think to myself as I dock an arrow and head for the steps.

‘Anything but a bear.’ I think as I push the bedroom door open with my foot.

I stop when I see a man past out on the bed. His feet still on the floor his arm and chest covered in blood. Not counting the busted lip and nose.

��I would have took the bear.’ I think letting out an annoyed sigh.

“Why do I always have to be the one patching someone up?” I asks myself walking to the bathroom.

Getting what little supplies I had I sit them on the bed.

“Hey!” I call out to him getting nothing.

“Oh don’t be dead.” I say reaching up to shake him again getting nothing.

“Oh come on.” I say pressing my fingers into his neck smiling when I feel a pulse.

“Yes! Atta boy!”

“Now to get you patched up.” I say moving to unbutton his flanel.

I don’t really think about what I’m doing until I hear a groan.

I look up at him his brown eyes meeting mine.

“The hell?” He mumbles his southern accent the first thing I notice.

I don’t bother replying him passing out.

“Alright Cowboy let's fix you up.” I say pushing the fabric to the side an angry gash on his side. His shoulder looking like a stitched up bullet wound had popped back open but other then that he was fine.

Cleaning his side off I set to to sowing him up, him not waking up while I do it. After I’m done I rebutton his shirt and go to make food.

I checked on the stranger in my bed throughout the night him not waking up but he was still alive so I didn’t worry to much.

The next morning I was in the kitchen mixing the berries I found with the nuts I found almost a week ago when I heard a bored creek.

Grabbing the knife on my hip I freeze when an arm wraps around my throat. Judging by the fact my head was pressed against someone’s chest. This was the man from upstairs.

“Good morning to you too.” I say lifting my hands where he could see them.

“Where am I?” He asks his country twang proving my guess.

“Earth last I checked.” I say resulting in him tightening his grip slighting.

“Okay, don’t like jokes sorry. You are in my house. I’m Trish by the way nice to meet you.”

“Who else is with you?” He asks his breath fanning over my face.

“No one. Just me.”

“Your alone out here?”

“Yeah, so if your gonna kill me go ahead.”

“You patched me up?” He asks his grip losing.

“Sure did. One hell of a way to thank someone.”

Grunting he lets go of me and takes a step back. Turning around to face him I realize how big he is. He was easily a head taller than me, his wide shoulders making me feel very tiny.

“Your welcome by the way.” I say him letting out a grunt as he looks me up and down.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Well I was gonna eat breakfast. You are welcome to join me if...” I say meeting his brown eyes.

“You give me your name. Not unless you are cool with being called Cowboy for the rest of your time here.” I say him lifting the corner of his mouth.

“Joel.”

Smiling I hand him my bowl of food.

“Nice to me Joel. I’m Trish.”

5 Years Later: Summer

I was sitting in front of the window watching the sunset the room around me so silent I could almost hear my heart beat. It was times like these when I was alone I wish I could just run away. Live on a farm out in the woods be free. I touch my necklace the locket making me smile. It was tarnished and the picture inside faded but it lasted all these years that I was thankful for.

Hearing footsteps come down the hall I turn my head to look at the door.

The infected couldn’t turn the knob so I wasn’t worried about that. Watching the knob turn I lift my gun it cocked and aimed a familiar face at the end of the barrel.

“Cowboy!” I say grinning lowing my gun.

“Fucking hell Trish what the hell are you doing here?” Joel asks shutting the door behind the girl who’s with him.

“I needed somewhere to lie low.”

“What did you do now?” He asks his scowl set in place.

“Nothing... “

“Wanna try again?”

“Umm I’m sorry but who are you?” The girl asks pulling us out of are soon to be argument.

“Oh sorry I’m Trish and you?”

When she doesn't answer I cock an eyebrow at her.

“Ellie.” She says sighing.

“Nice to meet ya Ellie.” I say smiling holding my hand out to her.

She takes it shaking it and quickly letting go.

“No need to be scared of me. I’m harmless right Joel?” I ask looking at him.

“If you think annoying the hell out of me is harmless then yes you are.”

“He likes it.” I say winking at her as he lays back on the couch rubbing his head.

“You wanna tell me why you are here?”

“I may or may not have stabbed a guard.”

“Why did you go an do something like that?”

“He thought he knew something about you and Tess smuggling and try to get it out of me. So I made him forget.”

“That how you got that.” He asks most likely looking at my busted lip.

“I've had worse.”

“So you two like know each other?” Ellie asks looking between us.

“More or less.” Joel says closing his eyes.

“Five years. We’ve known each other for five years.” I say looking at her.

“How did you two meet?” She asks sitting in the chair next to me.

“Oh I’m not getting paid enough for this.” He says rubbing his face and laying down on the couch.

“Need a nap old man?”

I grin when he lets out a growl.

“Does he know his watch is broken?” Ellie asks making me look from Joel to her.

“Yeah he knows.” I say softly hoping she understands that's a topic that is not talked about.

I was the type to tell you my whole life story. I knew Joel for five years and only in the past year found out he even had a child at one point.

“So how did you two meet?”

“Oh right, I was living in a cabin at the time, come home, find him half dead on my bed. I patch him up and when he comes to he repays me but trying to snap my neck. Fun times really.” I say smiling getting off the busted heater I was sitting on.

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“Because he is an angry old bear that gets poked easily.” I say walking to my bag but stop when Joel’s hand wraps around my wrist.

“Will you two shut up?” He asks his eyes never opening.

“What are we supposed to do if we can’t talk?”

“I’m sure you will figure that out.” He says letting go of my wrist his arm going to lay over his eyes.

“Fine.” I say moving to the other end of the couch I push at his feet making them fall off the couch him lifting his head to glare at me.

“What? You and little miss are clearly waiting for something Tess I’m guessing and if Im not aloud to talk then I got to find some way to kill the time.” I say sitting down.

“What should I do?” Ellie asks looking at me.

I don’t get to reply Joel putting his feet in my lap a smirk on his face his eyes once again closed.

“I’m gonna kill him.” I mouth to her making her snicker.

Smiling I lean my head back on the couch letting the silence settle over us. Sleep quickly taking over me.

[meolazaviar1997]

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[talesofealdancynedom]

Matcha hugging Palladis, both in human form. Looks like all he needed to grow up was dead deer and incompetent people!

Tale 8: Cetus, Jupiter, and Makatchthis (chapter 5. A Snack for the Road 5/5 ) part 2. Stories of Fey

gore

“I love magic, I can’t believe I gave it all up when dad died,” Cetus said, plopping several shopping bags on the floor. “what do you want for dinner? We don’t have to parent so I can cook something nice!” he said. Cetus’s cooking was, in fact, barely palatable.

“I think I need to become a magic user. I can’t do this.” Jupiter said falling onto the chair. Cetus began making tea.

“Our adventure it worked out in the end, Jupe. We do need to feed Matcha though, but I think Palladis has our back.” Cetus said with whimsy. Jupiter felt like she was about to cry or go dark. She let out a slow long breath like a deflating balloon. Upstairs Matcha was dancing music and making bracelets for everyone. Jupiter and Cetus were already wearing theirs. Jupiter’s had a planet charm on a string of pearls, and Cetus’s had a whale charm with a gimp band.  While lost in his craft, Matcha’s noticed his stomach rumbled.

“Palladis?” He chirped. Matcha listened a moment. Palladis usually came quickly. Perhaps she was already out on the roads looking for food. She had already gotten distracted in the mall; mother would have Palladis’s head if she abandoned Matcha again. Road kill was the only thing dead and big enough to satiate Matcha. And given his new morality, the only thing he would accept. He refused to eat pets, fey, and humans. For a griminthrope, he was a picky eater. Palladis was searching the north trail roads for scraps. She was hungry as well, and as a richen raven, she got first dibs. Matcha felt he couldn’t wait for tonight though. His day had been so exciting, he had worked up an appetite. Matcha could not fully fly yet, but had enough plumage to glide, and keep him warm in the winter air; when he was in beast form anyway. Matcha decided to leave while Cetus and Jupiter seemed busy in the kitchen. He went to the south road which was the main way into town. As night fell, Matcha found what he was looking for just off the road; two hunters trying to put a killed deer in their truck. When matcha walked up to the truck the men ran. He was not full grown and iridescent, but Matcha was still a person sized pitch-black raven with a corvid skulled head. He looked like he could have been summoned from an ancient ritual in the woods. Which was technically true.

Morgan and Regina were returning early that night; They were on the bus on the main road. The sun had just set. Everyone was half asleep. Regina was gazing out the windows into the snowing night. Then Regina spotted blood on a truck near the ditch. When she pointed it out, they pulled over.

“Stay calm, I’m calling 911.” Professor Hara said.

“it’s not human, and not fresh.” Morgan said. He was first to investigate. They had just entered the magic forest zone, and it was his magic forest. Regina summoned a camping flashlight. And everyone peered down the broken brush. There was a trail of blood on the snow. It led into the cold, dead, forest thicket. They heard grinding and crunching. Like chewing raw pasta, yet echoey like rocks in a tumbler. They could smell the blood and flesh wafting from the trail. Morgan began to follow it. He was curious in nature; which led him to be successful, and in many risky situations.

“Are you nuts!” Reggie whispered.  

“No. it just sounds familiar…” Morgan said. The group now following him for back up. They could hear the hunters on the road yelling and running back to the truck. The smell of cold winter air and metallic blood filled the air. The snaping, swallowing, ripping, chewing, and heavy breathing became louder as they stepped further from the bus. Morgen then stopped in a cleared-out area. There was Matcha, over a nearly completely disemboweled stag carcass. His hands coming out of his breast to pull in the long bones inside; which snaped and grinded beneath his feathers. Matcha was leaving nothing behind. Regina almost threw up. Yet, Morgan had no particular expression on his face.

“Matcha, you’re not supposed to leave the gate.” Morgan said.

“ee gwot hugry…awledy dead. Palmus.” Matcha responded in his boyish voice from under his black ruffle. The dissonance was remarkable. Reggie stood there, shivered, then blinked twice. She had the facial expression of her mother; blank, disgusted and disapproving. They stood there for five minutes while Matcha finished the deer, boarded the bus and went home.

“I mean, what luck! I found something dead and ran into you guys!” Matcha said yawning. He was settling into a thanksgiving torpor.

“Uncle Cetus, were home! We found Matcha, It’s ok!” Morgan yelled into the tower. It seemed to be empty. Palladis flew down and nestled on top her brother’s back. He sat on the large chair in his bird form, beginning to preen.

“He kill anything?” Palladis cawed. Morgan shoke his head.

“Nope. He found his first road kill. Well technically the hunter’s killed it; but it was on the side of the road! Raven children are the purest form of garbage disposals.” Morgan said calmly.

“Pestilent festering flesh goes in, magic and noise comes out.” Palladis cackled. She ruffled her feathers and settled to sleep with her brother. They had become perfect nest mates. Matcha had no more yearning for his terrifying brothers. Palladis had become just the sibling he needed. The day veil was so much better; so much colour, so many friends, and so much fun.

Cetus then ran down the stairs. “YOUR HOME. BLESS. NO MORE FIELD TRIPS. DON’T DISAPEAR. I BEG YOU, PLEASE.” Cetus whined hugging Reggie and Morgan. Jupiter looked undead holding a lamp in her sleeping robes and slippers. She looked defeated, tiered, and frustrated. She was.

“mom, dad, what happened?” Regina asked.

“I love Cetus and you Mother, Morgan. Which is why I agreed to this gig. It takes a lifetime to learn to parent. And by parent, I mean rear normal humans. Not fey. When I agreed to adopt you, I was thinking I would finally have another child; you and Reggie have always been like twins. But no. I got the parental horror of mystical teenagers going on quests into the magical dark ether of our realm. If I get dragged into one more adventure, Morgan; I’m going to quest so hard into magery, I will pop out the other end so mythical, I will be able to throat punch anything that even considers asking you to do a perils heroic journey.” Jupitar said without a single emotion in her voice. She was glaring at everyone, including Cetus.

“Oh, I see. Well, if it helps you cope, I would love to have you in the community? I’m going to bed now...” Morgan wheezed, pointing up the stairs.

“I’m going to sleep on the couch for a while, aren’t I? Why do I keep doing this?” Cetus said under his breath.

“mom? Are you ok? Can I like help or something…? I mean I can’t un-magic, but your being kind of scary…” Regina winced.

“no.” Jupiter said. Jupiter then turned around and walked back upstairs to bed. Matcha and Palladis asleep in the main hall. Snoring.

“Goodnight Reggie” Cetus said hugging his daughter. Cetus stood in the hall contemplating what to next, while everyone went upstairs. He couldn’t decide whether he should sleep with the ravens or his wife. He was now scared to make any more decisions. Cetus was not sure if anything was even his fault. He slowly began to realize no one was actually qualified to take care of Matcha in the first place. No one knew what they were doing; they were just grabbing straws moment to moment. Even the darn Raven king.

TABLE OF CONTENTS--->

<---PREVIOUS

[ecotone99]

Mike the Monkey [FN]

Mike the Monkey

Chapter One: Nuts

Any other day it would have been normal to swing around, walk about, snack on 'nanas, and talk about the weather. However, this day, when all was said and done, Mike the Monkey went on a little adventure. He went past the line of trees his mom told him was the boundary, and soon he would find out why she set those limitations. The journey was simple until he came upon something he had never seen before. He witnessed a squirrel eating a strange nut, with a crazy look in his eyes. When the squirrel noticed Mike, he offered him a piece of the football-sized nut. Mike's stomach tingled with nervousness and excitement like he had never felt before. Should he taste it? What if it's bad for me? Those were his thoughts. Well, I'm never in this neck of the woods, why not? That was the thought that followed. He took a big bite and the squirrel scampered away. "Hey where are you going?" exclaimed Mike. No response. He took another bite, dropped the rest, and started to swing his way back home when he felt something foreign. "I feel alive!" he said to himself, seemingly out of nowhere. He began recognizing how green the leaves were and how beautiful his home, the forest, was. He stopped near a stream to enjoy the beauty of the magnificent waters. Then he swung the rest of the way back home. Except, Mike didn't feel so fake. It felt warm and Mike relaxed his body as his mind raced. The next day Mike went back for the nuts that made him feel so alive the day before. Matter of fact, he went back for fourteen days straight. Each time becoming higher and deeper into what the neanderthals called, enlightenment. He began to go a little crazy, talking with bumblebees and running with the deer. Maybe he wasn't crazy at all, maybe he was exactly where he needed to be when he needed to be there. Next, in an attempt to rid his mind of the racing thoughts via physical exertion, Mike hopped in a river in an attempt to swim upstream. This worked, but only for a moment. He was being washed down the river rather violently. He attempted to latch on to logs but that didn't work. He was headed straight for a waterfall. With a last-stitch effort to not be flushed into a pit of more freshwater, Mike held onto a branch hanging near the waters. The branch screeched and snapped. Down the waterfall he went. The next thing Mike knew, he was in bed. He ached horribly all over. Bruised and battered but luckily he was alive. Friends and family visited him over the next few days. Finally, his uncle, who saved him from drowning came to visit. 'I've been following you, I ate the nut when I was your age... Keep fighting the good fight." Then his uncle vanished along with everyone else. Mike went into a deep sleep and when he woke, he had stories to tell.

Chapter 2: Freddie the Frog

"The first one goes something like this," announced Mike, sitting up in bed.

Freddie the Frog grew up jumping from lilipad to lilipad. Eating bugs and flies with his brothers and sisters. Freddie didn't realize it, but since day one he was a better jumper than his siblings and cousins. He would hop over lilipads, similar to how humans skip stairs when they run up them. "Hey Freddie, you've got some serious hops, I'm gunna enter you into the Amphibian Olympics this summer." This made Freddie anxious and he trained and trained. The day came for the competition and he was mad nervous. He threw-up his breakfast. When it came time for his turn to jump and compete, Freddie was nowhere to be found. His brothers, sisters, and cousins searched, but couldn't find him. He was disqualified from the Olympics. Freddie tuned up a day or two later. "Where the hell have you been?" "Well, I came across a toad and he taught me how to meditate so I've been meditating,' responded Freddie. "Turns out I'm not meant to be an athlete, I just want to live in peace." After that day, Freddie was careful to jump on every lilipad in his path, not skipping any anymore. "I just want to be a frog." Years later, Freddie competed in the Senior Olympics and won the silver medal. He didn't regret a thing and went on to train the most elite frogs in the swamp.

Chapter 3: Manny the Martian

"This next one hits a little closer to home for me... or is it further? Well here goes."

Manny the Martian was wondering around his home turf of Mars when a space bird told him he should visit Earth and that he might like it. "They have things called trees you can swing on, instead of walking around all day." What fun would that be, he thought, but he obliged and took a trip to a forest in Brazil. He was confused at first until he met a female monkey who taught him how to swing from branch to branch. High to low, low to high. He loved it. When it was time to go back home he took some tree seeds with him so he could plant them on Mars. He had to wait twenty years or so but it was worth it. His female cohort visited him on Mars and they had children together; teaching the young monkeys how to swing high to low, low to high, all across Mars.

Chapter 4: Rex the T-Rex

"Holy monkey man, that sounds kinda crazy. Kinda futuristic right?" Mike asked himself. "Anything is possible so these are all realistic. Here goes Rex."

Rex the T-Rex was red and had green spikes running down his spine. Rex was the type to make sense out of interesting points of view; he knew right from wrong. One day, Rex met up with his pals and they went swimming with the Loch Ness Monster. They came across a treasure chest and found necklaces and rings. Rex put four or five of the necklaces together to make one big necklace that fit around his neck. He was super cool now. His buddies did similar things, one making a dozen rings into one big gold tooth. When Rex returned home to his wife and no kids, he asked his wife how he looked. "Disgusting!" proclaimed Rex's wife. "You look like one of those damned neanderthals, take that off!" But Rex kept it on. He went to the bar the night to sip on some shark juice and he got all types of compliments. "Where'd you get that?" asked a velosa raptor. "Can't tell ya, it's a secret," replied Rex. They played pool and partied until the night was over. Walking home alone a giant bird-like creature swooped down and stole the necklace. Rex couldn't reach for it with his tiny arms. When he returned home, his wife asked, "What happened to your awesome necklace?" "It got stolen... wait, you liked it?" "Yes I did" she said and Rex went to bed hoping that one day he could earn another cool piece of bling.

Chapter 5: Barry the Bear

"That was something huh?" remarked Mike, " I'd like to think Rex went back and got some more jewelry but didn't show it off this time."

Barry the Baritone Bear was not your average bear. He moved with the winds like a bird and bellowed the entire time he moved. Only when he wasn't moving was he silent. His dad, a monotone-speaking bear, was a beloved writer among his peers. He and a female bear made Barry in the woods after Barry's dad wrote a piece of his soul. He called it, "Once a Bear, Never a Bear." It was very introspective and made up in a way he wanted it to be taken. The other bears didn't pay much attention to it. They called it "egotistical" and "selfish." He later called it, "Barely a Bear." Barry went on to sing in a choir and always had the solos. And because he had to be moving when he sang, his biggest fans were birds. Little did he know, he was a bird.

Chapter 6: The Rabid Rabbit

"Barry was a bird but still hung out with bears to soak up knowledge and use it in his songs. Barry wrote of heart-ache and evolution of all species he observed. This next tale, not so cushy," announced Mike

There once was a blood-thirsty rabbit. It ate cats, deer, and snakes. The only thing that ate it would be a bear, or so I thought. The rabbit would go into its hole, plot, then come out and enter deer dens and feast on the does and bucks. When out in nature, one can observe the rabbit eating grass, just waiting for a blood-having animal to enter its territory. One day, a human caught the rabbit and caged it. It would eat crickets and lizards. However, one day the rabid rabbit bit off the owner's finger. From that point on, the owner used steel gloves to deal with the trapped beast. The owner knew she shouldn't let the rabbit back out into nature. This went well until one day, one of the lizards got the upper-hand on the rabid rabbit. The lizard ate the rabbit and became blood-thirsty itself. The owner released the rabid lizard into the woods near her house. She was done dealing with these monsters. The lizard went back to its old ways and only ate bugs and smaller amphibians. Living the rest of its life in the wilderness eating rabid rabbits and he taught his offspring to do the same.

Chapter 7: Jake the Snake

The ex-owner of the rabid rabbit and rabid lizard couldn't sleep well knowing of these beasts. She regretted letting the lizard go but all was well because the lizard had morals.

"Okay, so..." Mike began. He slithered through the medium-high grasses to get to the stream. Jake the Snake was thirsty and also looking for a quick meal. This meant scavenging across the grasses for a mouse or something. He didn't really care, anything would work that day. He hadn't eaten in almost seventy-two hours and was ready to fill his belly and rest up. He knew what it would mean to come across a family of mice and take away what he could. It meant hurting a family and that was exactly what he hated doing. See Jake grew up eating grass and rice. His dad introduced him to live prey and his mom left his father because of it. She was a healer and couldn't stand the sight of her son's ways. Jake was ready to begin something different. After one final mouse, he told himself he would never do it again. Eat live prey. Grass is living too but it doesn't have a soul like something with a heartbeat does. Grass may have a soul but that's a topic for a different discussion.

Chapter 8: Dollie the Platypus

That was it. Jake digested the mouse and just like that he was on to a new. Or so he thought. Another seventy-two hours later and he was back to craving live prey. He knew better but did he have what it takes or did he give in to temptation? "I'd like to think he changed but at the end of the day, he was a snake, and snakes eat mice."

Dollie the Platypus performs every weekend night. She does flips and handstands and elaborate juggling. Come to find out, Dollie wasn't raised to be in the circus. She was raised to be a sign-language interpreter for musicals. She would always have the crowd laughing though, distracting the audience from the musical. She was let go from that career and then went on to join the circus. She made friends with Henry the Hamster and Jennie the Lion. Everyone loves her performances and you can catch her every weekend night as she travels across the globe with her friends.

Chapter 9: Ron the Rhino

"That was a little more light-hearted than the previous, wouldn't you say?" asked Mike as he shrugged.

Ron the Rhino grew up with a normal life like all the other rhinos. They traveled, fed, and played together in their youth. However, when he was growing into the adult rhino he was destined to be there was one minor hiccup. Ron's horn never got any bigger. It was just a couple inches long. All the other rhinos thought it was funny. They called him names like, "baby horn", "little horn", "rhiNO horn", to name a few. Well, one day they were feeding together and Ron had had enough with the name-calling and bullying. He wrestled and pinned down one of the hecklers and poked him with his horn. Ron, nor the other rhinos knew he had that aggression in him. The other rhinos were scared of Ron after that and because of it, he was named King of the Rhinos.

Chapter 10: Hector the Butterfly

"Mad respect for Ron, I wouldn't mess with him... No way" proclaimed Mike. "Here goes another one of the tales I came across."

Hector the butterfly was only an eager caterpillar when this story began. Every bug has its own individual story, even if they don't know it. Hector was born with dozens of other bugs and resided in the poop he was born near. It was in a vast forest in the middle of a country. He, like his comrades, branched out and crawled into the woods. Some of Hector's unlucky siblings were swooped up by birds. One day, Hector ventured a little further than usual and met another caterpillar named Cindy. They feasted together and decided that no matter what, they would remain friends through their upcoming transformation. Time passed and Hector transformed. The summer sun shining brightly with reds, pinks, and greens. He looked and felt great but had forgotten all about Cindy. One day, he met a moth that smoked grass. She was downright ugly but Hector was drawn to her laid-back and cool demeanor. They went on adventures together, day and night. Then, one day, Hector re-united with Cindy near a stream. They said their hellos but were clearly on separate paths.

Chapter 11: Sharon the Waffle Iron

"Or were they on the same path? Time will tell and they continued moving with mother nature through all the seasons." said Mike.

Sharon the Waffle Iron makes the best waffles. She never complains but does get a little dirty. She had been working one day on a batch of chocolate chip waffles when she suddenly turned off. The owner unplugged her and kept her downstairs for years after her malfunction. One day, the owner's son came across Sharon, even though out-dated, he decided to plug her back in. What a shame, she sleeps through one waffle and gets banished to the basement for a dozen years before getting resurrected. "Think that's bad? Wait til you hear about her cousin, Igor the Iron."

Chapter 12: Igor the Iron

Igor was at worst, a bad iron. But at his best, he made the most perfectly creased pants that there are. One day, Igor threw up and spat water all over his owner's khakis, making him late for work. Banished to the garage for twelve years. Then, he was given to Goodwill to be bought by a man who used Igor to straighten his ties. The new owner was dating Sharon the Waffle Iron's owner. They moved in together, the two resurrected irons together now. One for making waffles, the other straightened his gay owner's ties. They lived together for a while. To this day as a matter of fact. The irons witnessed thing they could never un-see but at the end of the day, they were happy to be put to use.

Chapter 13: Kenny the Kangaroo

"Having a purpose in important, don't you think? I'm just glad I have these stories to tell you," Mike said. "Thanks for tuning in."

Kenny the Kangaroo had lots of friends. Mostly bears, but they didn't want to eat Kenny because he brought them joy. He would dance for them, sing for them, and even cook for them. That was until one day, one of the cubs got reckless and hungry and decided to eat Kenny. Kenny had a daughter, years later she went on to be a doctor. One day, a sick bear came into her office and confessed, "I ate a kangaroo when I was little, I didn't realize the pain it would ensue on my family, leaving them depressed... I ate our joy." The kangaroo-doctor prescribed medication and the bear went on to have his own offspring. When he told them stories, they would always end with, "Don't kill what brings you joy."

Chapter 14: Benny the Burrito

"A little dark, I know, but the deeper message is, don't kill at all, regardless of the effect that being has on you... Anyways."

Benny the Burrito sat in the freezer for two weeks before his owner pulled him out. Before that, he was in the back of a grocery delivery van for three hours. Before that, he was in a warehouse for three days. He had a lot of friends, other items knowing that their doom was getting close. Food lives for death... That's what brings them joy. For some reason, they were all a little anxious to find out what life was like after being digested and pooped out. Spending their dying days telling stories and reliving the days when they didn't know what food they'd be eaten with or what drinks they'd be digested with. Benny was quiet. He didn't have any parents but had tons of cousins who were born at a similar time than he was. Anyways, today was the day Benny would be introduced to the afterlife. He was eaten with celery sticks and a cup of milk. Now his brothers, by way of poop buddies, they got eaten and digested within twelve hours. In the afterlife, they were flushed to a nearby dump where they met other poop. All of them with similar stories but there was one in particular that had stayed in tact. It was made with corn and the corn was still whole. "I was just a burrito, now I'm poop," announced Benny.

Chapter 15: Chris the Chandelier

"Gross I know," Mike confessed. "This next ones should brighten things up."

Christopher the Chandelier was super fancy. Starting from one single diamond, she blossomed into a wonderful chandelier. Overseeing everything in the Smith's home. She was never ashamed to shine so bright. She even sparkled a bit in the moonlight. One day, one of the Smith's sons had a party and Chris got shattered by some drunk teens. How reckless... Didn't they know Chris was worth thousands? They hit her with bats until she was down to her last diamond. The diamond stayed in tact, the son threw out the drunks, and he used Christopher's last diamond to put into a ring. He used it to propose to his girlfriend six years later.

Chapter 16: Enrique the Lobster

Enrique the Lobster grew up near the shore of Los Angeles. He had many crab friends and some lobster friends that he's known since he was a little guy. Born and raised by his mother, his father left the nest but left him with many blessings. Most of which confused Enrique. "Why would this guy leave us before even meeting us?" "He did it because he loved you guys," the mother told Enrique and his siblings. "Oh well," he thought. "Now I get to live out my own journey." Hoping one day he would reach his father and make him proud for leaving the nest. The rest is still up for grabs. Enrique's out there somewhere searching for his dad but his dad didn't want his son to feel that pain. They communicated telepathically and his father said, "Find a nice female, get her pregnant, and you'll see where I'm coming from." Enrique did just that but still felt the need to be near his new family. "I love my little guys, I will never leave them." He taught the little guys games and just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he swam away. Leaving his family and now in search of a deeper meaning. Never realizing he left everything he needed. Pray for Enrique, he could use it.

Chapter 17: Henry the Giraffe

"I'd like to think he figured his was out of the mess he's in... Enrique will be fine, I promise... So will our next character," announced Mike the Monkey.

Henry grew up in what the middle of what the ecosystem called, 'the twilight zone'. In 'the twilight zone', giraffes got sacrificed in order for the other animals to feel something emotionally. There wasn't any hunting during this time so they needed some way to promote positivity and what better way then by killing off the beloved giraffes. The thing about it though was they never really died, they just went to Brazil to live in presumed Heaven. They started a religion there by promoting happiness among the little ones in Brazil. Henry got taken to Brazil and there he met the love of his life, Ezra. Ezra was born and raised here. A purebred just waiting for her giraffe in shining armor. When Henry arrived he still thought he was going to be killed but instead, it was the opposite. Henry had everything he ever needed- good food, good vibes, and a good female. If only the giraffes back home knew how good it was here.

Chapter 18: Chester the Trampoline

"Brazil kinda sounds like Heaven, wouldn't you say?" Mike asked. "Couple more to go."

Chester the trampoline was jumped on by kids from all over the neighborhood. He would never jump back because he knew what it would mean if he did. He would take his beatings, sometimes five to six kids at a time. One time he sported a net around his edges, protecting the kids from getting hurtb ecause one day a kid got double-bounced and fell off. The owner limited it to three kids at a time after that. Through all seven of the years, Chester broke only two springs. One time a kid jumped on the springs, didn't get hurt, but that popped the spring out of place. He allowed all types of monkey business. Another time a kid who collected bouncy balls brought his collection into Hector. They loved it. The balls were even happy. Giggling kids made Chester the happiest. Then, when the kids entered high school, Chester was dismantled and sold on eBay. The owner bought a new toy, Mike the Moped.

Chapter 19: Thank You for Tuning In

Now that all was said and done, Mike began living his life again. He reminisced on the days he would hang around with his buddies. Mike was a new monkey. With all the knowledge gained, Mike was ready to settle down and find a female. Her name was Heather. Heather was known for being a little promiscuous but Mike didn't mind. They tamed one another and could almost read each-other's minds. When Mike was happy, Heather was happy. But when Mike was sad and caught up in the past, Heather would be there, just happy enough to be in the presence of her favorite monkey, Mike.

"I don't regret anything, ever," announced Mike. "Without those nuts and that fall, I wouldn't know what such enlightenment meant." Mike was grateful for everything, especially the words from his uncle. "Keep fighting the good fight, but..." Mike modified, "with a dash of love."

Now our final story from the author, himself.

Chapter 20: Lenny the Lamp

Lenny the Lamp was in a trance as he waited to be picked up from the store. He was staring at the inside of the box, hearing all the people in the store discuss their purchases, when a man picked him up. The man used him as a bookend until one day, his Grandson asked what the lamp was all about. My Grandpa didn't have a real use for the salt lamp anymore and Matt would use it to its full potential. It heard Matt's dreams and even his nightmares. I just turned off the salt lamp AKA Lenny and I know the gift from my Grandpa will be there when I lay down tonight. Grateful and thankful for family and friends.

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[ecotone99]

Mike the Monkey [FN]

Mike the Monkey

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Chapter One: Nuts

Any other day it would have been normal to swing around, walk about, snack on 'nanas, and talk about the weather. However, this day, when all was said and done, Mike the Monkey went on a little adventure. He went past the line of trees his mom told him was the boundary, and soon he would find out why she set those limitations. The journey was simple until he came upon something he had never seen before. He witnessed a squirrel eating a strange nut, with a crazy look in his eyes. When the squirrel noticed Mike, he offered him a piece of the football-sized nut. Mike's stomach tingled with nervousness and excitement like he had never felt before. Should he taste it? What if it's bad for me? Those were his thoughts. Well, I'm never in this neck of the woods, why not? That was the thought that followed. He took a big bite and the squirrel scampered away. "Hey where are you going?" exclaimed Mike. No response. He took another bite, dropped the rest, and started to swing his way back home when he felt something foreign. "I feel alive!" he said to himself, seemingly out of nowhere. He began recognizing how green the leaves were and how beautiful his home, the forest, was. He stopped near a stream to enjoy the beauty of the magnificent waters. Then he swung the rest of the way back home. Except, Mike didn't feel so fake. It felt warm and Mike relaxed his body as his mind raced. The next day Mike went back for the nuts that made him feel so alive the day before. Matter of fact, he went back for fourteen days straight. Each time becoming higher and deeper into what the neanderthals called, enlightenment. He began to go a little crazy, talking with bumblebees and running with the deer. Maybe he wasn't crazy at all, maybe he was exactly where he needed to be when he needed to be there. Next, in an attempt to rid his mind of the racing thoughts via physical excretion, Mike hopped in a river in an attempt to swim upstream. This worked, but only for a moment. He was being washed down the river rather violently. He attempted to latch on to logs but that didn't work. He was headed straight for a waterfall. With a last-stitch effort to not be flushed into a pit of more freshwater, Mike held onto a branch hanging near the waters. The branch screeched and snapped. Down the waterfall he went. The next thing Mike knew, he was in bed. He ached horribly all over. Bruised and battered but luckily he was alive. Friends and family visited him over the next few days. Finally, his uncle, who saved him from drowning came to visit. 'I've been following you, I ate the nut when I was your age... Keep fighting the good fight." Then his uncle vanished along with everyone else. Mike went into a deep sleep and when he woke, he had stories to tell.

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Chapter 2: Freddie the Frog

"The first one goes something like this," announced Mike, sitting up in bed.

Freddie the Frog grew up jumping from lilipad to lilipad. Eating bugs and flies with his brothers and sisters. Freddie didn't realize it, but since day one he was a better jumper than his siblings and cousins. He would hop over lilipads, similar to how humans skip stairs when they run up them. "Hey Freddie, you've got some serious hops, I'm gunna enter you into the Amphibian Olympics this summer." This made Freddie anxious and he trained and trained. The day came for the competition and he was mad nervous. He threw-up his breakfast. When it came time for his turn to jump and compete, Freddie was nowhere to be found. His brothers, sisters, and cousins searched, but couldn't find him. He was disqualified from the Olympics. Freddie tuned up a day or two later. "Where the hell have you been?" "Well, I came across a toad and he taught me how to meditate so I've been meditating,' responded Freddie. "Turns out I'm not meant to be an athlete, I just want to live in peace." After that day, Freddie was careful to jump on every lilipad in his path, not skipping any anymore. "I just want to be a frog." Years later, Freddie competed in the Senior Olympics and won the silver medal. He didn't regret a thing and went on to train the most elite frogs in the swamp.

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Chapter 3: Manny the Martian

"This next one hits a little closer to home for me... or is it further? Well here goes."

Manny the Martian was wondering around his home turf of Mars when a space bird told him he should visit Earth and that he might like it. "They have things called trees you can swing on, instead of walking around all day." What fun would that be, he thought, but he obliged and took a trip to a forest in Brazil. He was confused at first until he met a female monkey who taught him how to swing from branch to branch. High to low, low to high. He loved it. When it was time to go back home he took some tree seeds with him so he could plant them on Mars. He had to wait twenty years or so but it was worth it. His female cohort visited him on Mars and they had children together. Teaching the young monkeys how to swing high to low, low to high, all across Mars.

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Chapter 4: Rex the T-Rex

"Holy monkey man, that sounds kinda crazy. Kinda futuristic right?" Mike asked himself. "Anything is possible so these area all realistic. Here goes Rex."

Rex the T-Rex was red and had green spikes running down his spine. Rex was the type to make sense out of interesting points of view. He knew right from wrong. One day, Rex met up with his pals and they went swimming with the loch ness monster. They came across a treasure chest and found necklaces and rings. Rex put four or five of the necklaces together to make one big necklace that fit around his neck. He was super cool now. His buddies did similar things, one making a dozen rings into one big gold tooth. When Rex returned home to his wife and no kids, he asked his wife how he looked. "Disgusting!" proclaimed Rex's wife. "You look like one of those damned neanderthals, take that off!" But Rex kept it on. He went to the bar that night to sip on some shark juice and he got all types of compliments. "Where'd you get that?" asked a velosa raptor. "Can't tell ya, it's a secret," replied Rex. They played pool and partied until the night was over. Walking home alone a giant bird-like creature swooped down and stole the necklace. Rex couldn't reach for it with his tiny arms. When he returned home, his wife asked, "What happened to your awesome necklace?" "It got stolen... wait, you liked it?" "Yes I did" she said and Rex went to bed hoping that one day he could earn another cool piece of bling.

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Chapter 5: Barry the Bear

"That was something huh?" remarked Mike, " I'd like to think Rex went back and got some more jewelry but didn't show it off this time."

Barry the Baritone Bear was not your average bear. He moved with the winds like a bird and bellowed the entire time he moved. Only when he wasn't moving was he silent. His dad, a monotone-speaking bear, was a beloved writer among his peers. He and a female bear made Barry in the woods after Barry's dad wrote a piece of his soul. He called it, "Once a Bear, Never a Bear." It was very introspective and made up in a way he wanted it to be taken. The other bears didn't pay much attention to it. They called it, "egotistical" and "selfish." He later called it, "Barely a Bear." Barry went on to sing in a choir and always had the solos. And because he had to be moving when he sang, his biggest fans were birds. Little did he know, he was a bird.

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Chapter 6: The Rabid Rabbit

"Barry was a bird but still hung out with bears to soak up knowledge and use it in his songs. Barry wrote of heart-ache and evolution of all species he observed. This next tale, not so cushy," announced Mike

There once was a blood-thirsty rabbit. It ate cats, deer, and snakes. The only thing that ate it would be a bear, or so I thought. The rabbit would go into its hole, plot, then come out and enter deer dens and feast on the does and bucks. When out in nature, one can observe the rabbit eating grass, just waiting for a blood-having animal to enter its territory. One day, a human caught the rabbit and caged it. It would eat crickets and lizards. However, one day the rabid rabbit bit off the owner's finger. From that point on, the owner used steel gloves to deal with the trapped beast. The owner knew she shouldn't let the rabbit back out into nature. This went well until one day, one of the lizards got the upper-hand on the rabid rabbit. The lizard ate the rabbit and became blood-thirsty itself. The owner released the rabid lizard into the woods near her house. She was done dealing with these monsters. The lizard went back to its old ways and only ate bugs and smaller amphibians. Living the rest of its life in the wilderness eating rabid rabbits and he taught his offspring to do the same.

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Chapter 7: Jake the Snake

The ex-owner of the rabid rabbit and rabid lizard couldn't sleep well knowing of these beasts. She regretted letting the lizard go but all was well because the lizard had morals.

"Okay, so..." Mike began. He slithered through the medium-high grasses to get to the stream. Jake the Snake was thirsty and also looking for a quick meal. This meant scavenging across the grasses for a mouse or something. He didn't really care, anything would work that day. He hadn't eaten in almost seventy-two hours and was ready to fill his belly and rest up. He knew what it would mean to come across a family of mice and take away what he could. It meant hurting a family and that was exactly what he hated doing. See Jake grew up eating grass and rice. His dad introduced him to live prey and his mom left his father because of it. She was a healer and couldn't stand the sight of her son's ways. Jake was ready to begin something different. After one final mouse, he told himself he would never do it again. Eat live prey. Grass is living too but it doesn't have a soul like something with a heartbeat does. Grass may have a soul but that's a topic for a different discussion.

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Chapter 8: Dollie the Platypus

That was it. Jake digested the mouse and just like that he was on to a new. Or so he thought. Another seventy-two hours later and he was back to craving live prey. He knew better but did he have what it takes or did he give in to temptation? "I'd like to think he changed but at the end of the day, he was a snake, and snakes eat mice."

Dollie the Platypus performs every weekend night. She does flips and handstands and elaborate juggling. Come to find out, Dollie wasn't raised to be in the circus. She was raised to be a sign-language interpreter for musicals. She would always have the crowd laughing though, distracting the audience from the musical. She was let go from that career and then went on to join the circus. She made friends with Henry the Hamster and Jennie the Lion. Everyone loves her performances and you can catch her every weekend night as she travels across the globe with her friends.

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Chapter 9: Ron the Rhino

"That was a little more light-hearted than the previous, wouldn't you say?" asked Mike.

Ron the Rhino grew up with a normal life like all the other rhinos. They traveled and fed and played together in their youth. However, when he was growing into the adult rhino he was destined to be there was one minor hiccup. Ron's horn never got any bigger. It was just a couple inches long. All the other rhinos thought it was funny. They called him names like, "baby horn", "little horn", "rhiNO horn", to name a few. Well, one day they were feeding together and Ron had had enough with the name-calling and bullying. He wrestled and pinned down one of the hecklers and poked him with his horn. Ron, nor the other rhinos knew he had that aggression in him. The other rhinos were scared of Ron after that and because of it, he was named King of the Rhinos.

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Chapter 10: Hector the Butterfly

"Mad respect for Ron, I wouldn't mess with him... No way" announced Mike. "Here goes another one of the tales I came across."

Hector the butterfly was only an eager caterpillar when this story began. Every bug has its own individual story, even if they don't know it. Hector was born with dozens of other bugs and resided in the poop he was born near. It was in a vast forest in the middle of a country. He, like his comrades, branched out and crawled into the woods. Some of Hector's unlucky siblings were swooped up by birds. One day, Hector ventured a little further than usual and met another caterpillar named Cindy. They feasted together and decided that no matter what, they would remain friends through their upcoming transformation. Time passed and Hector transformed. The summer sun shining brightly with reds, pinks, and greens. He looked and felt great but had forgotten all about Cindy. One day, he met a moth that smoked grass. She was downright ugly but Hector was drawn to her laid-back and cool demeanor. They went on adventures together, day and night. Then, one day, Hector re-united with Cindy near a stream. They said their hellos but were clearly on separate paths.

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Chapter 11: Sharon the Waffle Iron

"Or were they on the same path? Time will tell and they continued moving with mother nature through all the seasons." -Mike.

Sharon the Waffle Iron makes the best waffles. She never complains but does get a little dirty. She had been working one day on a batch of chocolate chip waffles and turned off. The owner unplugged her and kept her downstairs for years after her malfunction. One day, the owner's son came across Sharon, even though out-dated, he decided to plug her back in. What a shame, she sleeps through one waffle and gets banished to the basement for a dozen years before getting resurrected. "Think that's bad? Wait til you hear about her cousin, Igor the Iron."

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Chapter 12: Igor the Iron

Igor was at worst, a bad iron. But at his best, he made the most perfectly creased pants that there are. One day, Igor threw up and spat water all over his owner's khakis, making him late for work. Banished to the garage for twelve years. Then, he was given to Goodwill to be bought by a man who used Igor to straighten his ties. The new owner was dating Sharon the Waffle Iron's owner. They moved in together, the two resurrected irons together now. One for making waffles, the other straightened his gay owner's ties. They lived together for a while. To this day as a matter of fact. The irons witnessed thing they could never un-see but at the end of the day, they were happy to be put to use.

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Chapter 13: Kenny the Kangaroo

"Having a purpose in important, don't you think? I'm just glad I have these stories to tell you," Mike said. "Thanks for tuning in."

Kenny the Kangaroo had lots of friends. Mostly bears, but they didn't want to eat Kenny because he brought them joy. He would dance for them, sing for them, and even cook for them. That was until one day, one of the cubs got reckless and hungry and decided to eat Kenny. Kenny had a daughter, years later she went on to be a doctor. One day, a sick bear came into her office and confessed, "I ate a kangaroo when I was little, I didn't realize the pain it would ensue on my family, leaving them depressed... I ate our joy." The kangaroo-doctor prescribed medication and the bear went on to have his own offspring. When he told them stories, they would always end with, "Don't kill what brings you joy."

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Chapter 14: Benny the Burrito

"A little dark, I know, but the deeper message is, don't kill at all, regardless of the effect that being has on you... Anyways."

Benny the Burrito sat in the freezer for two weeks before his owner pulled him out. Before that, he was in the back of a grocery delivery van for three hours. Before that, he was in a warehouse for three days. He had a lot of friends, other items knowing that their doom was getting close. Food lives for death... That's what brings them joy. For some reason, they were all a little anxious to find out what life was like after being digested and pooped out. Spending their dying days telling stories and reliving the days when they didn't know what food they'd be eaten with or what drinks they'd be digested with. Benny was quiet. He didn't have any parents but had tons of cousins who were born at a similar time than he was. Anyways, today was the day Benny would be introduced to the afterlife. He was eaten with celery sticks and a cup of milk. Now his brothers, by way of poop buddies, they got eaten and digested within twelve hours. In the afterlife, they were flushed to a nearby dump where they met other poop. All of them with similar stories but there was one in particular that had stayed in tact. It was made with corn and the corn was still whole. "I was just a burrito, now I'm poop," announced Benny.

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Chapter 15: Chris the Chandelier

"Gross I know," Mike confessed. "This next ones should brighten things up."

Christopher the Chandelier was super fancy. Starting from one single diamond, she blossomed into a wonderful chandelier. Overseeing everything in the Smith's home. She was never ashamed to shine so bright. She even sparkled a bit in the moonlight. One day, one of the Smith's sons had a party and Chris got shattered by some drunk teens. How reckless... Didn't they know Chris was worth thousands? They hit her with bats until she was down to her last diamond. The diamond stayed in tact, the son threw out the drunks, and he used Christopher's last diamond to put into a ring. He used it to propose to his girlfriend six years later.

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Chapter 16: Enrique the Lobster

Enrique the Lobster grew up near the shore of Los Angeles. He had many crab friends and some lobster friends that he's known since he was a little guy. Born and raised by his mother, his father left the nest but left him with many blessings. Most of which confused Enrique. "Why would this guy leave us before even meeting us?" "He did it because he loved you guys," the mother told Enrique and his siblings. "Oh well," he thought. "Now I get to live out my own journey." Hoping one day he would reach his father and make him proud for leaving the nest. The rest is still up for grabs. Enrique's out there somewhere searching for his dad but his dad didn't want his son to feel that pain. They communicated telepathically and his father said, "Find a nice female, get her pregnant, and you'll see where I'm coming from." Enrique did just that but still felt the need to be near his new family. "I love my little guys, I will never leave them." He taught the little guys games and just when he thought he couldn't take it anymore, he swam away. Leaving his family and now in search of a deeper meaning. Never realizing he left everything he needed. Pray for Enrique, he could use it.

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Chapter 17: Henry the Giraffe

"I'd like to think he figured his was out of the mess he's in... Enrique will be fine, I promise... So will our next character," announced Mike the Monkey.

Henry grew up in what the middle of what the ecosystem called, 'the twilight zone'. In 'the twilight zone', giraffes got sacrificed in order for the other animals to feel something emotionally. There wasn't any hunting during this time so they needed some way to promote positivity and what better way then by killing off the beloved giraffes. The thing about it though was they never really died, they just went to Brazil to live in presumed Heaven. They started a religion there by promoting happiness among the little ones in Brazil. Henry got taken to Brazil and there he met the love of his life, Ezra. Ezra was born and raised here. A purebred just waiting for her giraffe in shining armor. When Henry arrived he still thought he was going to be killed but instead, it was the opposite. Henry had everything he ever needed- good food, good vibes, and a good female. If only the giraffes back home knew how good it was here.

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Chapter 18: Chester the Trampoline

"Brazil kinda sounds like Heaven, wouldn't you say?" Mike asked. "Couple more to go."

Chester the trampoline was jumped on by kids from all over the neighborhood. He would never jump back because he knew what it would mean if he did. He would take his beatings, sometimes five to six kids at a time. One time he sported a net around his edges, protecting the kids from getting hurt. Because one day a kid got double-bounced and fell off. The owner limited it to three kids at a time after that. Through all seven of the years, Chester broke only two springs. One time a kid jumped on the springs, didn't get hurt, but that popped the spring out of place. He allowed all types of monkey business. Another time a kid who collected bouncy balls. They loved it. The balls were even happy. Giggling kids made Chester the happiest. Then, when the kids entered high school, Chester was dismantled and sold on eBay. The owner bought a new toy, Mike the Moped.

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Chapter 19: Thank You for Tuning In

Now that all was said and done, Mike began living his life again. He reminisced on the days he would hang around with his buddies. Mike was a new monkey. With all the knowledge gained, Mike was ready to settle down and find a female. Her name was Heather. Heather was known for being a little promiscuous but Mike didn't mind. They tamed one another and could almost read each-other's minds. When Mike was happy, Heather was happy. But when Mike was sad and caught up in the past, Heather would be there, just happy enough to be in the presence of her favorite monkey, Mike.

"I don't regret anything, ever," announced Mike. "Without those nuts and that fall, I wouldn't know what such enlightenment meant." Mike was grateful fro everything, especially the words from his uncle. "Keep fighting the good fight, but..." Mike modified, "with a dash of love.

Now our final story from the author, himself.

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Chapter 20: Lenny the Lamp

Lenny the Lamp was in a trance as he waited to be picked up from the store. He was staring at the inside of the box, hearing all the people in the store discuss their purchases, when a man picked him up. The man used him as a bookend until one day, his Grandson asked what the lamp was all about. My Grandpa didn't have a real use for the salt lamp anymore and Matt would use it to its full potential. It heard Matt's dreams and even his nightmares. I just turned off the salt lamp AKA Lenny and I know the gift from my Grandpa will be there when I lay down tonight. Grateful and thankful for family and friends.

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