#fun fact! for the caption for this drawing I was debating between the one I did and one that was just 'the tension is unreal'

[jessicas-ocs]

But what if they grew up together. What if they were rivals. What if they were best friends. What if they were prophesied lovers. What if they were meant to be. What if they were never meant to be. What if they were soulmates. What then, huh?

~~~

Anyway, please meet my newest OCs, Leander Wren and Astrea Kestis, who are in love but pretend they're not. They hide their feelings behind sass and sparring sessions. The entire Skywalker Jedi Academy is deeply invested in their will-they-won't-they. She thinks he hates her guts and he thinks she's in love with his twin brother. They've saved each other's lives. She wants to touch his hair. He wants to kiss her tattoos. They would die before they admitted it. Jacen Syndulla is running a betting ring on how long it's gonna be before they give into their feelings and kiss in the moonlight.

(Joke's on him. They already have. They're just pretending it didn't happen.)

[ticklybtswriter]

what you deserve

summary: you had been teasing your lers too much for their liking. one particular tactic to get the tickles you craved, though, proved to be a bit too effective.

request: Finally thought of a request: could you write a scenario where you've been teasing the boys a lot, like exposing your spots in front of them or mentioning how sensitive you are, until they get frustrated and gang up on you? Love your writing btw :)

warnings: nsfw-ish themes (not soft tickles at all skdfmlksdfm), bondage, being nearly naked but not entirely, kind of submissive/dominant if you look close, excessive use of princess because this is me we’re talking about there

author’s note: brought the brat out for this one, guys... i hate saying that because it means i’ve admitted defeat... but anyway, i’m really excited for this fic!! i’m always a fan of punishment tickles akmflskmdf ahhh

Let’s get one thing straight: you knew what you had done. You were well aware of the fact that you had been teasing them, probably past the point of no return. 

You had taken deliberate moves just so you could get them all in ler moods. You would show off your sides and stomach when on the couch, masking your teasing through a faked yawn and stretch. You’d also told them how sensitive your muscles were whenever you woke up, knowing that they were already aware of your nerves’ heightened state.

It seemed, though, that they had taken a page out of Taehyhung’s book. Whenever you were being bratty, he would stubbornly hold out on giving you tickles until you became a good little girl again. But for some reason, you wanted to push limits you never even neared before.

You were home alone, still deprived of your tickles. You were plotting new ways to get what you wanted, but you were drawing blanks. Well, you were until you were scrolling through a tickle blog on Tumblr and saw a picture of a girl showing off her bare tummy with a teasy caption beneath. 

The smirk on your face could’ve rivaled Namjoon’s had anyone seen it.

You took a few hundred photos of every sensitive spot. From your neck to your stomach to your socked feet. You were a bit hesitant to send them at first, but then you remembered that they were being the stubborn ones. After that, you had all the confidence needed to press that “send” button before a series of pictures were forwarded to your group chat with them.

They were in dance rehearsal so you didn’t expect to get a reply as quickly as you did. It was only from one person, Jin, someone who was pretty well-tempered when it came to your antics. However, the message conveyed anything but the typically serene Jin you knew.

It merely said: Oh you’re in for it tonight kitten.

You were buzzing with anticipation; giddy or fearful, you couldn’t quite tell yet. The text from Jin kept you on edge, especially since that was the only one you had gotten and it had seemed so definite. You questioned whether you’d taken it too far, but then you realized it meant you were getting what you wanted.

Thinking too far into the outcome of this wasn’t going to last long. You heard the jingling of keys from the front door. What put you off was how silent the men behind said door were. Usually, they’d be laughing or groaning about how exhausted they were, yet you didn’t hear anything.

The door swung open. The first person you saw was Hoseok, his eyes instantly connecting with yours. It was almost eerie how quickly he captured you with his hypnotic, dominant stance.

“Hello, princess!” He announced gleefully. “Did you enjoy your day?”

It was a trick question, you were sure of it. You weren’t sure what the trick was, but Hoseok was too cheerful to actually be that, even for Hoseok.

You didn’t get to answer before Jimin was standing beside him. He held up a photo of your thighs next to his head. “Oh, I’m sure she did, hyung. Didn’t you, princess? Putting your lers in the mood while they were working must’ve been so much fun for you, huh?”

Now you saw the trick to the question. “U-Um, well, you see-”

“What I see is a little brat who needs to be dealt with,” Jungkook made his way towards you. He picked you up by your legs, making sure to steady you over his shoulder. “And we’re not going to waste any time in doing that.”

Next to feeling totally helpless in Jungkook’s grasp, the worst part about your ascent up the stairs to your room was seeing the other six men smirking at you as they leisurely strolled after you and Jungkook. It was more flustering seeing them so calm then seeing them angry like you envisioned.

“U-Um, I’m sorry?” You whimpered to Namjoon who had been closest to you.

“Aww, it’s too late for apologies, baby girl,” You simply told you. “You made your lers unfocused during rehearsal today. For that, you need to be punished.”

Your face went bright red. The promise of your demise hung in the air, and everyone around you chuckled darkly at the wide-eyed stare you gave them when you finally realized how totally screwed you were.

You’d only ever been punished by them once, and truthfully, you couldn’t feel your diaphragm for a week. You had stayed curled in a ball for hours until Jimin and Taehyung had to coax you out of bed. It was so wonderful, yet so horrid at the same time with terribleness outweighing what was so pleasing about it.

Jungkook deposited you onto the bed. He was careful as to not hurt you but also put you down in a way that let you know he was in control.

“Arms up, baby,” He commanded. When you kept your hands firmly to your chest, he sighed. “Do you really want to play that game, darling? You know how impatient my hyungs can get, and we wouldn’t want to keep them waiting. After all, the longer they have to wait to get their hands on you, the meaner they’re going to be.”

A part of you wanted to resist, just to keep up that tough facade, but even you weren’t bratty enough to go against seven angry lets. You put your wrists together and above your head like he had instructed.

“There’s our good girl~” Taehyung cooed.

With all seven of them working together, they were able to get you out of most of your clothes save your undergarments and have your arms tied nice and tight above your head.

“Look at you all pretty and tied up~” Jin purred next to your ear.

“Where should we start?” Yoongi asked the room as he cracked his knuckles, something he knew drove you up a walk.

“I say...” Jimin started ever so softly trailing his fingers across your bare stomach. “We take this nice and slow.”

Another thing that drove you insane: when they all decided to warm you up with tickles by doing this. They were the tickles that were just barely there, the ones that weren’t enough to even get a giggle out of you. The point of this was to make you squirm, and you squirming was euphoric to them.

“P-Please, don’t t-t-tease me!”

“What’s that?” Hoseok asked mockingly. “Are you actually telling us not to tease you? After everything you’ve put us through these past few days?”

“The audacity!” Jin scoffed. He emphasized his point with a quick scribble to your side.

It came as a shock from the light tracing, forcing a squeak from your lips. “AH!”

“Making cute noises already, baby girl?” Namjoon question teasingly.

You shook your head, even though you knew it was futile. Whenever they heard a squeak or a rogue giggle that was cuter than the others, it was an incentive for them to thoroughly wreck you. You were aware of their new desire when Namjoon brought this up and they knew that you knew as well.

“Ready?” Yoongi asked you.

“No!”

“Good~”

That was when the merciless torture officially began.

It was evil, beyond that. Your nerve endings were alight with ticklish sensations as all seven of them began scratching away at your sensitive skin. Not a single pair of hands relented or slowed or even showed any sign of hesitation. Even the softest of lers had taken to make sure you were wrecked with rough tickles.

“Nohoho! I’m sohohorry!” You whined.

“Are you though?” Jungkook debated with you. He hit a very sensitive part on your hips, loving the reaction you were providing him. “Because by the smile on your face, I’d say you’re pretty proud of yourself!”

“No! Nohoho, I’m nohohot!”

Someone started leaving butterfly kisses across your neck. You squealed at the soft sensations.

“Ahhh, Jin-hyung, I think she likes that~” Yoongi drew the phrase out.

“How could she not? After all, she’s always talking about how soft my beautiful lips are!” He exclaimed before returning back to his torture against your neck.

You wanted to focus on shooing him from your neck with your chin, but you had to throw your head back in laughter when you felt Jimin and Taehyung really start to scratch away at the roles of your feet. God, Jimin even went straight for the kill with your toes on one foot while he directed Taehyung to the worst spots on your other.

“Nohoho fahahair! Plehehehease!”

“Princess, I think it’s time you stop with all this complaining and just laugh for us,” Hoseok commanded of you. “Anything that isn’t a cute little laugh? Well, you remember, don’t you?”

How could you forget? Last punishment you accidentally cried out “no!” and somehow there was a toothbrush vibrating in your belly button. The seven of them didn’t bring out tools often, but you were fearful of their unpredictability... or maybe you were also extremely in love with it. Either way, it gave you shivers just thinking about it.

You nodded and just continued laughing. That was all you could do.

Your back arched when Namjoon and Yoongi tasered your sides in perfect synchronization. They gave one another a proud grin while you bucked between them. Those assholes... those freaking amazing and ruthless assholes...

You couldn’t even process the onslaught of tickles from those two for too long before Jungkook was back with his terrible hip tickles. All the while Taehyung and Jimin were still tickling your feet with such vigor. Hoseok was tracing patterns into one underarm while Jin got with other, making sure to add his tickly neck kisses into the mix.

You were in pure bliss but experiencing pure torture all at the same time. Your laughter began to go silent. Tears were running down your face before you knew what was hitting you.

“Such pretty tears, princess~” Yoongi cooed. He leaned over and kissed your cheek, showing some affection in this time of ruthlessness.

“Noho- I- ple-hehe- You were struggling to get the words out. Thankfully there was some shred of compassion left in Namjoon.

“Here, let’s give her a break real quick,” Namjoon told the others.

They retracted their fingers from your shaking body after some time. You greedily gulped in as much air as your lungs would allow while some of the guys rubbed your skin comfortingly. Tae and Jimin cuddled up to your sides, rubbing your sides soothingly.

“Having fun?” Tae asked.

“Mehehean!” You simply told them.

“Sorry, princess,” Jimin gave you a joke-pout as he pushed your hair back. “But you deserve it after everything you did today.”

“Yeheheah, I’m sohorry about that...” You apologized genuinely when you came down from your tickle high.

Jin ruffled your hair. “It’s alright, baby. But you can’t do that kind of stuff while we’re working. Your adorable tickle spots are pretty distracting, you know. Makes us want to be mean to you, which you don’t want. Well, that’s what you say.”

“We’re about to get a lot meaner anyway,” Yoongi informed you as he got closer to your body. You could see the assortment of feathers he was twirling between his fingers as he approached. “Regardless of what you say.”

“W-Wait!” You stammered. “I-I-I thought i-it was done!”

“Oh, you thought that we were finished with you?” Namjoon asked with a quirked brow. “Baby girl, this is a punishment! Did you think you could get away with only a few minutes of tickling? And besides, I do beleive Hobi told you that you weren’t allowed to do anything other than laugh.”

“Sit tight,” Hoseok patted your stomach. “The night is still young, kitten~”

author’s note: i’m kind of tipsy but i finished this so i’m content!!

[lapublicites]

INSTAX @ HOME PROJECT.

 For this project, I decided to recreate one of the first ever projects I did in my first year of university at UAL.

This project consisted of two images, showing off various polaroids that I had, however that project - although aesthetically pleasing - didn’t exactly make me feel any type of way towards it. It was pretty but I felt that it lacked depth and meaning, which always helps an advert feel more personal.

With this, I decided to start researching up previous Instax adverts. While I researched, I realised that their adverts were quite minimalist and bare and I wanted to step away from that.

Not every memory is shot like a day in an Instagrammers life, I wanted my adverts to be messier and more lifelike, something people can relate to in their busy lives, especially now with all of us staying home and houses getting messier, more memories being made despite everything and I wanted to be able to catch that at this vital moment.

I went through a lot of ideas, debating whether I should stay with just photo advertisements or branch out more. I decided on the latter, however the progress to it gave me a lot of things to research.

Instax’ previous adverts are very minimal. 

They’re almost similar to my first try back in 2017, hence why I tried to go in a different direction. I focused less on the partying and the adventurous aspect that Instaxs hold, but I inside went for the more close to home and personal vibe.

I asked my friends and people close to me to take photos of their own polaroids, scattered on their bed with things they love and that define them.

With these photos, I tried a few different methods of what I wanted to do (insert pic of the faded adverts w the slogan), I was still stuck on wanting to do print adverts before Brian suggested that I try to do this as a live project, so that’s what I did.

I researched into two projects, one called the ‘It Gets Better’ project (@itgetsbetter) and The Live Drawing Project (@livedrawingproject). 

These two projects both have under 100k followers and while rather small, they still have a community within them. I first looked at ‘It Gets Better’.

The ‘It Gets Better’ project focuses on uplifting, empowering and connecting with LGBT+ youth around the world. Their posts are primarily video posts from actors and other people all around the world, sharing and showing their support for the LGBT+ youth, especially during this tough time. They’re still active, receiving a decent amount of likes on each post.

I looked at this project as I want my project to be able to uplift peoples day to day lives, showing them that there can be memories in everything, showing them that this quarantine can be used to create memories, despite how sullen the world is currently.

The second project is the Live Drawing Project.

This instagram is the home of LDP, an art project started in France. While the location exactly is unknown (I’m unable to enter their website as I don’t have a log in), their instagram shows pictures of peoples art and creativity shown up on the walls of buildings and houses. They also have an event called the Night Of Illuminations where they’ll have people gather while they project the drawings for all to see in the night, making them show up best.

I absolutely adore this project, I love the fact that it’s still being updated this year and that many, many people are joining in.  

While only a small following, they’ve been around for a year and have grown a gathering of people who will follow their projects. They also hosted various art lessons throughout France, which I found amazing.

I chose to focus on this project as I wanted to see the drive that a smaller instagram had. They may not have thousands of followers but they’re still updating and inspiring others to do the same as I said previously with the ‘It Gets Better’ project. I want to bring people together and to inspire them to create memories from their own homes.

I started to create the adverts with Instagram in mind and started to look through the photos and choose which ones I wanted to post first on the ‘gram.

I used these two pictures that my mum (picture one) and my best friend (picture two) sent me and used these to create my first set of posts on my Instagram.

I decided to have a white background as Instagram doesn’t have a ‘dark mode’ and therefore works with the minimalist feel of the whole account. I also used the yellow from the icon as it would match.

For the ‘@ home’ font I used Sweet Purple, a fun and simplistic style yet one that looks homemade and personal. I’ve used this font on other projects such as my Animal Crossing Amiibo Cards, that can be found on my portfolio here.

I posted these with a relatability in mind. I wanted to hone in to people's personal sides, to make them feel nostalgic and happy to look at photos that they took with loved ones and I want them to feel the urge to create them within their own home, to make memories that’ll replace the thoughts and things that have happened over the last few months.

While creating the Instagram posts, I decided to go with a yellow colour scheme. Yellow is not only my favourite colour but it’s also widely recognised as the happiest colour, according to sources. I wanted to keep the colours light and happy to keep with my message of creating happy and fond memories. 

I decided on having ‘picture breaks’, where I’d include a picture like the one above in between photos to somewhat break up the posts, and to be able to give commenters a place to ask questions and talk if they wanted to know anything but didn’t want to comment on the polaroid picture itself. I added a post with what Instax @ Home is, explaining my ideas behind the project and what I would like people to do (partake, comment, tag me in posts, etc). This turned out to work wonderfully, as I’ve had people tagging me in posts!

I created 5 of my own polaroid posts to beef up my feed and to get traction within my account, creating content and tagging it so it can bring in more traffic to my page, as well as bringing in people who’ll want to take part! These photos are ones rom my past memories, 

This is what the account looks like currently (apologies if the image is bad quality - it shouldn’t be!).

Now the Instagram is live and I’m waiting for people to start joining in. I’ve got a lot of likes on my first few posts and I hope that I’ll be able to continue this project well after the deadline, or for as long as quarantine is.

UPDATE: 17TH JUNE 2020, DAY BEFORE HAND IN

After I posted the images on Instagram, I got immediate following and interactions!

While I only have 30 or so followers, I’m getting interactions and people tagging me and sharing their own Instax pictures!

I realised, I shouldn’t be so focused on making new memories in a household, but instead finding the polaroids and reminiscing on the old photos that have been taken.

One person, under the @ silenceofthesunflower, they captioned a picture of themselves with ‘a long throwback, @instaxathome made me miss my polaroid camera. I should’ve brought it in with me’

This made me realise that people don’t particularly want to make new memories in this pandemic, but instead focus on the past ones to be able to remember happier times. I wanted to combat the sadness of the world's current situation by creating more memories, but I realise now that some people just want to remember, and that’s okay too. I will be posting both old and new polaroids to this account as a way to expand my userbase!

However, despite that, I do hope this makes more people pick up their Instax camera and use it more in the future. I have my own and I know I don’t use it as much as I should. This project has made me realise, as well, that I should be using my camera more often. I have the means to make memories so why aren’t I?

I know I will absolutely be continuing this project past my deadline and hope to make it a fully fledged account with followers and interactions daily.

[notestonadia]

A Note on Intelligence

Nadia, will you be smart?

As you grow and develop, as your inclinations and interests begin to shine through the clouds of toddlerhood tantrums and cast light and shadows over your everyday actions, this seems like a very natural question to ask. Every parent wants their child to end up being “smart,” right? Even Forrest Gump had a vested interest:

But before we run with Forrest’s question, we should ask—is it even the right question?

When I was a teacher, I presented the idea of multiple-intelligences to my students. The concept behind this is that intelligence is not binary. You’re not either “smart” or “dumb” in an absolute sense. Instead, intelligence exists on a wavelength, with peaks and valleys and no average altitude that defines what you’re capable of.

It’s a nice idea. It’s an elevated concept (HAHA). But teaching it and believing it are two different summits to climb.

And maybe I’m still at base camp, but I really think I’m ready to start the trek. I think we all may need to start gazing upward to a place where we can meet at the top.

With this theory of multiple intelligences, there are still head starts. Some people are still going to be inclined (this metaphor is contrived, I know, but I swear I didn’t try to do this one) towards some areas over others. But the beauty of the multiple intelligences theory is that A) if you have weaknesses in one area, you can make it up with strengths in others, and B) You can always improve in every area.

So how’s it looking so far, Nadia? 

Verbal-Linguistic Intelligence (Word-Smart)

So, Nadia, you don’t really like books. Like, you tolerate them. We’ve made reading books a part of your bedtime routine, so you accept it as a part of life. But if you have free time and a choice about what you want to do, picking up a book and reading it is never one of your choices.

It makes me, as a parent, and as a former English teacher, feel a little self-conscious. After all, I’ve seen so many other parents post pictures of their kids mangling books with the caption, “OMG, SHE LOVES BOOKS SO MUCH!” 

Which can lead to only two conclusions:

1. That kid really likes books. 2. That parent is lying.

Really, the truth of the above is inconsequential. It’s more about the awareness of the parent (Self-Smart reference #1) than it is about the ability of the child.

I want you to love to read...I really do. But it’s not really something that can be forced. Also, Verbal-Linguistic Intelligence is about WAY more than just reading. It’s about vocabulary, memorization, and making up stories. And you can make up a hell of a story with “poop” at every twist and turn. 

Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number-Smart)

It’s interesting that this intelligence is associated with “numbers.” It makes you think that an accountant, for example, represents the exemplar of this intelligence.

But really, it’s more than that. Sure, you can count to 30, or maybe even 40 (you skip 15 a lot, for some reason). But this isn’t about knowing your numbers--it’s more about using logic to know how one step leads to another step--and then being able to explain the relation between those steps. 

A kid that can count isn’t “number smart”--that’s just memorization. (Self-Smart reference #2). But a kid that understands what those numbers mean and can apply them to everyday situations IS. At that point, you’re using logic--not memorization. 

You seem to be pretty astute at this, Nadia. You work through little puzzles in your head all the time in order to arrive at the conclusion that it was Daddy’s fault. And you’re usually right.

Spatial Intelligence (Picture-Smart)

I have some high hopes for you here, despite the fact that this may be one of my lowest intelligences.

Of course, there are two sides to the genetic coin--and when you flip it, sometimes you get heads or tails...The coin doesn’t suspend upright on its edge.

I’ll often walk into a room, and your mother will just be staring at nothing. When I ask her what she’s doing, she’ll say: “Visualizing.”

So, this intelligence isn’t necessarily just about being able to draw, paint, sculpt, or whatever--it’s more about being able to picture something that isn’t already there. (Self-Smart reference #3)

When your mom asks me to look at the blank wall that she’s staring at, she’ll say, “What do you see?”

And I’ll say, “I see a fucking wall.”

But to her, she sees frames, and wasted spaces, and opportunities. 

I think your ability as a builder might mean that you have some natural talent here. You love using your blocks to build structures that I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of, constructing patterns that just seem to make sense. 

Your artwork kind of sucks, to be super honest. But your visualization seems to suggest that you’ve hopefully got some of your mother’s abilities.

Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (Sports-Smart)

I remember when you were barely two, we took you to a park with a soccer ball. We couldn’t believe when you just took off running, dribbling the soccer ball with one foot in stride. You didn’t stumble, and you displayed this natural, untaught ability to keep the ball near your foot as you moved exceptionally fast.

So, logically, we signed you up for soccer at your school.

You hated soccer.

Well, that’s not fair. I don’t think you hated soccer. You loved that freedom of just running and dribbling a ball with no intended goal. What you hated was the rules and discipline that came with soccer.

At your school, soccer isn’t about dribbling, or kicking, or really any ball-related skill. It’s about freezing or sitting on your ball when the coach blows a whistle. Sports, at an early age, are about discipline, rather than the body motions that go along with playing that sport.

I think that also relates to the other sports we’ve signed you up for--dance, gymnastics, and even yoga.

I’m not saying that discipline is a bad thing. I’m just saying this is a mix of intelligences. In order to show that you are good at a sport at a young age, you also have to display some ability to follow directions, which is an entirely different type of intelligence. (Self-Smart reference #4)

So the fact that you don’t want to play soccer doesn’t mean that you won’t be good at soccer. We’ll let you decide.

Musical Intelligence (Music-Smart)

You really don’t have a lot to work with, here. Not genetically.

Not long ago, you were staging a fake birthday party for...I think, a toilet...And you sang “Happy Birthday” to that toilet.

After hearing you sing, I remember remarking, “Awww, Nadia, you sing just like your mother!” This is exactly the kind of snarky-ass, passive aggressive “compliment” that adults give to their unknowing kids. Don’t knock it. It really is one of our only guilty, mostly harmless, pleasures.

And me...well, by now, when you’re reading this, hopefully you’ve gotten to enjoy a number of my “birthday songs” that I’ve written and performed for you.

But you should know a few things:

Writing and performing these songs is HARD for me. It is not something that comes natural for me.

Also, I have no problem admitting that these songs are objectively bad. The key is off, the musical pacing is horrendous, and the final result of putting the voice/instruments together has often been laughably terrible.

But this goes back to an earlier point I tried to make: You CAN improve at something if you really have the desire to--even if it’s something you’re not naturally talented at. In the nature-nurture debate, I’ve always tended to side a little more strongly on the nature side--you’re born, genetically, with a certain set of skills, and those may provide the playdough that shapes the person you ultimately become. But that in no way means you can’t get some dough from another can and see what you can make of it. 

Listen--every teenager thinks they’re “music-smart.” We adorn our Myspace accounts (just a super obscure reference for you to look up) with statements like “MUSIC IS LYFE”, as if that means that we could be musicians in a future life.

But liking music and being “good” at it are two different things. Being honest with yourself can lead to how much you decide to pursue something like music (Self-Smart reference #5)

Naturalist Intelligence (Nature-Smart)

This is a fun juxtaposition to the previous section. With music, I made the argument that you can be “bad” at something, but improve at it if you have the interest.

Just know that if you are naturally bad at something, and you also don’t have the interest, it’s okay to just suck at that thing.

That’s where I’m at with this intelligence.

Gardening? Nah. Cooking? That’s what Grubhub was invented for. (Self-Smart reference #6)

But just in case you’re interested in this kind of intelligence, know that your mother is working her ass off to be a guiding example. It’s not something she’s exactly naturally inclined to. I once told your mother that our house is where plants go to die.

And as for something like cooking. You recently told your mother, “Mom, you shouldn’t cook anymore, because you burnt yourself. You should let dad cook.”

But to your mother’s credit, she has continued cooking, and she’s getting a lot better at it, despite some potential genetic deficiencies. I once told her that she had effectively ruined fish for me. But since then, she has made some fish dishes that were absolutely edible. 

Hope abounds. And for you--who knows. Maybe even if you don’t feel like working too hard at this, maybe genetics skips a generation and you’ll get your Grampy’s natural ability. You already seem in tune with nature--whether it’s your love for flowers, caterpillars, or animals. Do what you will, my little nature girl.

Interpersonal Intelligence (People-Smart)

Nadia, you’re awkward af. It’s fine, though. You’re only three. These are skills that you can develop over time.

To be real, developing this intelligence makes me a little nervous.

In its best form, high levels of Interpersonal Intelligence leads to people who are great communicators--leaders who use their affability to create positive change.

In its worst form, high levels of Interpersonal Intelligence leads to being a bully: People who can read others and exploit them. People who use charm and affability for nefarious causes.

You have some interesting examples to deal with: Your mom, who is an introverted extrovert: Someone who isn’t naturally gifted at gab, but who is interested in meeting and conversing with people in order to learn more.

And, your dad: An extroverted introvert: Someone who has the natural ability of public speaking and making personal connections, but who would rather stay home and watch stupid-ass sports on TV instead of interacting with anyone. (Self-Smart reference #7)

I’m interested in seeing what happens to you in regards to this intelligence. Despite my nature-based leanings, this ability does seem to be something that can be taught (or, observed, I guess) as  as opposed to inherited. Let’s check back in 10 years and see how much time you’re spending in your room.

Intrapersonal Intelligence (Self-Smart)

I saved this intelligence for last, because in my mind, it may be the most crucial of all the intelligences. 

As you’ve seen in the references I’ve inserted above, I really feel like this intelligence informs and enables all of the other intelligences.

The other quirky thing about this intelligence is that it presents a paradox:

The more you’re sure you have this intelligence, the less likely that you actually have it.

If you ask people a question like, “How well do you know yourself?”, the people who are quick to yell, “REALLY WELL!” are the people who may not actually be that self-smart.

If you have high levels of Intrapersonal Intelligence, it means that you question yourself daily. You spend a considerable amount of time pondering the decisions that you’ve made and thinking about whether they were the right choices.

It seems like an intelligence that is severely lacking in our world today. And I get it. Constant reflection can be uncomfortable. It’s easier to just move forward and ignore the mirrors, literal and metaphorical, that you inevitably pass in your everyday life.

And the other thing is that of all the intelligences, Intrapersonal Intelligence might be the hardest to measure. You can take IQ tests that measure your Verbal, Logical, and Spatial intelligences. You can be pretty sure whether you’re a good athlete based on the trophies you accumulate, and you can be confident in your musical abilities based on the applause you get after performances. You can judge your natural abilities by the lushness of your garden, or your people abilities by the number of friends you have.

Though the above measures aren’t totally indicative of your ability, they’re at least a glimpse.

But how do you measure whether you’re “Self-Smart?” There isn’t a test for that. There isn’t a reliable metric.

Also, of all the intelligences, it’s unclear how much of a role genetics have in Intrapersonal Intelligence. Is it something you inherit? Or is it something you have to work on?

I’m not sure. I’m really not. But I know that improving how well you know yourself is super important in understanding what you’re capable of--it helps you know what you might want to pursue as you decide to be who you want to be.

So here are some tips:

1. Spend some time reflecting every day. Am I happy with the decisions I made today? Do I regret the way I acted in any moment? 2. Ensure that the ideas and beliefs that you endorse actually conform with your core beliefs as a human. For example, if you support a person that wants to make it harder for disadvantaged people to get ahead in life, does that reflect your core beliefs about helping the poor?  3. If you examine yourself and realize you’ve done something wrong, be willing to address that wrong, OR apologize for your actions. There is no time limit on this...You can apologize days, weeks, or even years later. This is super hard, but it is vital. I had a close friend once apologize for an argument we’d been in years before--he told me he was wrong, and he was sorry. I wasn’t holding this argument against this friend...It had been long forgotten. But the fact that he brought it up said so much about him...It meant he had done some self-reflection, and he wanted to come clean with himself. It wasn’t really so much about our friendship--we would have been friends whether or not he opened up that old, forgotten wound--but it was more about coming to terms with something he regretted. 

So, apologize to people, even long after the event. Not for them--but for you.

Now, you can’t obsess over every wrong thing you’ve done in your life. It would drive you crazy. You can’t hunt down every stranger you may have somehow offended to make things right. But you can come to terms with it in your own mind and send unreceived apologies out into the universe, even if it’s for your own sake.

For example...Manager of the Marco’s Pizza, I’m sorry I chewed you out when my online order had been deleted and my pizza wasn’t ready. I should have handled that situation much more elegantly.

Nadia--I hope you aren’t  too confused by this post somewhat contradictory message. There’s a bit of cognitive dissonance to try and do these two things at once:

1. Evaluate you on your current progress of these different intelligences at only three years old, and 2. Declare that these intelligences are something that can be learned, gained, and improved upon as you progress through your life.

So, yeah...Your daddy is a jackass. (Self-Smart reference #8)

But what I want you to gain most from this post is to look at yourself, and others, as more than “smart” or “dumb.”

We should all endeavor to start looking at intelligence as something that is a sum of all parts--and even the total sum doesn’t decide your worth.

Instead of labeling people as “smart,” consider calling people “thoughtful, logical, creative, reflective, intuitive, bold, resourceful, and engaging.”

And before calling someone “dumb”...well, take a long, deep look at yourself and think about what makes that person different from you. (Self-Smart reference #9)