#fukashigi kojiro

[acethisattorney]

Yo I tried my best to make an English translation for the turnabout gold medal stageplay if anyone is interested:

https://youtu.be/BKDfOYYVXXw

[acethisattorney]

Ok after watching the stageplay I have some thoughts:

(SPOILERS for the stageplay below)

the opening ceremony speech by nivantess

what do you mean the chairman succeed his father??? is the chairman position hereditary??? what is this?? a family business????? what's with the nepotism in this global organisation??????????? 

also nivantess talking about "pursuit of justice". the audacity of this bitch.

the olympic rankings

i frickin love that the only reason phoenix was winning everything was because he was matching the profile of a criminal HAHAH 

also phoenix being confused the whole time that he was winning was hilarious. "hmmm, i'm doing really well for once. something must be terribly wrong"

ALSO, how did franziska end up in 3rd place LMAO. what did she do to match the profile? was it the assulting people with a whip HAHAHA. she matched the profile so well that even though she isn't a defense attorney she was still 3rd most similar to the profile 

the olympic events themselves

did godot dead ass make a bunch of lawyers run a marathon in full suits, i love him so much. i bet that wasn’t even part of his investigation it was just to fuck with people

ALSO THE ALL WRIGHT BATTLE. that was 100% just to fuck with phoenix

the franziska-phoenix confrontation after the first half of the trial

FRANZIKA YOU WERE INTERRUPTING PHOENIX'S SHITTING TIME.

when larry and maya were looking for phoenix and franziska

oh my god, maya and larry found phoenix and franziska through the power of dicking around. this is too good

phoenix and franziska in the kidnappers’ dungeon thing

OOF PHOENIX GETTING THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF HIM.

also fucking hell, i legit thought they were gonna make phoenix shit his pants for a moment

the sign board fake out

can you imagine what nivantess was thinking when phoenix jumped on the desk and announced that he knew the answer

the goddess of fortune thing

FUCK THAT WHOLE THING WITH THE GODDESS OF FORTUNE WAS GENIUS. he had me fooled. i thought it was just phoenix being phoenix. also the bit with the night vision camera? GENIUS

also can you imagine how crowmack must have felt watching phoenix do his fucking zombie dance and everyone joking around while his life was at stake.

ok but wouldn't it be hilarious if phoenix actually belived in the goddess of fortune phoenix, before trial in the lobby, doing his fucking zombie dance: "O goddess of fortune, plunge this courtroom into a dark abysss. Edgeworth can't pull an updated autopsy report if he can't see it :)))"

the nivantess reveal and breakdown

I CAN'T BELIEVE NIVANTESS ATE IT. PHOENIX LITERALLY SHAT THAT OUT. HE ATE THE SHIT CHIP. NIVANTESS NO.

also phoenix slowly getting on the chair to yell objection during the nivantess breakdown. that was badass

MOTHERFUCKING GODOT AND HIS BIG BRAIN CLUTCH AT THE END. HIDING IT IN HIS COFFEE CUP, FUCKING SMOOTH

also holy shit nivantess really went full super villain at the end. He asked them to cut open phoenix's stomch?? fucking brutal man.

also why did he sign all the fucking records??? why did he even keep records????????

AWW when godot pulled maya out of nivantess’ way. always looking out for mia's sister

why was kojiro so passive during nivantess' monlouge. he was so quick to stab valenbough?? the monolouge was the perfect time for a stabbing??? why'd he wait so long??? also why'd he back up as nivantess approached him??? he's the one holding a knife?? also he scaled a wall effortlessly but couldn't beat and old man???

yoko breaking up the kojiro-nivantess fight

yoko you should have gone for the head

also why was nivantess suddenly so scared of yoko’s knife. he certainly wasn't scared of kojiro's knife

also when yoko tried to talk kojiro out of killing nivantess by saying that if he did, he would become just like him. hate to break it to you yoko, your brother's already a murderer. i'm sure one more won't hurt.

nivantess getting back up

ofc he’d try to stab kojiro in the back like the snivelling coward he is.

hell yeah gumshoe rushing in was awesome. but isn't gumshoe police, which means he has a GUN? why is he not using said GUN?

the commentator/emcee guy

i don't know how to feel about him. what is the point of him being in the second half??? 

like with the scene where nivantess beats the shit out of the hench man, and he's just commentating in the background i guess??? why???

phoenix

I CAN’T BELIEVE PHOENIX ATE ANOTHER PIECE OF EVIDENCE. GDI PHOENIX. GET IT TOGETHER MAN.

I ALSO CAN’T BELIEVE HE FUCKING SHAT IT OUT HAHAHAHA. BUT like he can't wash the chip right? cuz electronics? so...................ERMMMMMM

ummm the whole truth scene at the end was very sweet but like kojiro's grieving over his dead mom and he's about to go jail? for murder??? idk if that was the best time to go on the whole truth speech phoenix

maya

maya asking phoenix to shit out the microchip in court. and she did it so cheerfully. I fucking love Maya.

maya offering to kick phoenix so he can puke out the microchip. she was waaaaay to eager to kick him LMAO. also fucking larry restraining nick for maya

MAYA'S LET'S PARTY IN RESPONSE TO THE LAXATIVE

also i l can't tell if maya genuinely can't tell people dressing up as phoenix apart from the real phoenix, OR she's just pretending she can’t to fuck with phoenix. i feel like both are equally likely with her

miles

oof i felt bad for him with the whole wendy oldbag thing. i know it was for comedy reasons, but can’t a man catch a break :(

WHY DID MILES WEAR HIS CRAVAT WHEN HE WAS PRETENDING TO BE PHOENIX. LOOK AT THIS DORK.

MILES RECOGNISED PI EVEN THOUGH IT WAS FLIPPED IN ONE GLANCE. he also knows it so well that he could type it flipped without a reference bruh. miles is a math nerd confirmed. he was 100% one of those kids that memorised pi just for the sake of it

why is miles so fucking a n g e r y in this play??? i don't think he was ever this angry in the games, even before his character development???

godot

DIEGO STOP TRYING TO THROW MIA’S PROTOGE IN JAIL

also when diego says “what a lucky guy.” in response to crowmack’s birthday being 1st jan, WHILE CROWMACK IS BEING THREATENED WITH A KNIFE HAHAHA. godot, the comedic genius.

is it just me or was godot super seductive throughout this whole play. there was the let’s olympic in a proper american accent, that scene with franziska, the MULTIPLE scense with crowmack...

crowmack

crowmack deserved better man, getting threatened for something he didn’t do. poor baby

CROWMACK GRABBING THE FUCKING KNIFE IN THE END. HELL YEAH. AND HE LANDED A PUNCH WHILE HOLDING THE KNIFE. MY BABY HAS GROWN UP SO MUCH.

#CROWDOT

I SHIP GODOT AND CROWMACK. THE CHIN HOLDING. THE HEAD PATS. THE BOW AT THE END. AND THEN HE FOLLOWS BEHIND HIM AFTERWARDS AND STOOD NEXT TO THE JUDGE'S DESK. IT'S ALL *CHEF'S KISS*

nivantess

why does nivantess have apolo's feelers? Hmmmmm SECRET GRANFATHER?? he's evil too so it'd be a perfect tragic backstorry. it would be a great addition to apolo's 9000 other tragic backstories. 

franziska

franziska is so tsun in this awww

also i think the stage play writters might have the hots for franziska. what with the kabedon thing, the godot thing, the phoenix thing before the kidnapping, the actual kidnapping, THE FUCKING CHAINS HMMMMMM. WHY DID THEY RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT??? WHY DIDN'T PHOENIX AND KOJIRO GET CHAINS TOO HMMMMMMMMMMMM

the whole idea of a judicial olympics in general

thw whole judicial olympics sound like a blast. imagine getting to watch a bunch of world-famous sofisticated lawyers clown around for a few days. AND THEN at the end there's even a murder trial AND a hostage situation AND a huge scandal involving a worldwide conspiracy with some of the biggest crime syndicates in the world. AND THERE'S THE FIGHT with an old man, a defense attorney, and a singer/protester. sounds wild man

Yo I tried my best to make an English translation for the turnabout gold medal stageplay if anyone is interested:

https://youtu.be/BKDfOYYVXXw