#fuels my Everyone-Is-Played-By-The-Same-Guy needs

[sweetest-honeybee]

I need to find my people

[monstersflashlight]

Hi :) Uhmm ... I like how you write, these past few days it become my obsession and joy. ( I am so sorry, I am so bad at giving compliments!)

Uhmmm .... If I may be so bold I would like to share an idea? I just thought about absolutely cocky and arogant male, womanizer Cerberos. The reader has love/hate relationship towards him. Well and after one wild party, he would corner reader and showed them his true form. And holding onto his word to rock reader´s world (quite literally)

Hi! I'm so glad you enjoy my content, it means the world. Sorry for the long wait, adult life sucks so bad. Also, I added the anon question, hope you don’t mind. The idea that Cerberus is the one you hit on when tipsy sounds so cute to let it pass. I took the liberty to make cerberus a type of monster, so they’re just one of them and not THE cerberus, you know. I imagine they’re like a werewolf but with three heads, and like not human form, just a wolfy-guy with three heads. Each head talks separately, but in this there’s no difference between them to not make it hard to follow, but I think it’s quite good. Hope you enjoy! <3

Three heads are better than one

Cerberus (they/them) x fem!reader || fingering, public sex, dirty talk

When a cerberus started to work on your law firm, you two hit it the wrong way from the start. You were a top tier lawyer and they couldn’t understand that a human could be better than them. Three heads think better than one, how could a puny human like you be better than them? But you were, and it infuriated them. But it also fueled your banter with so much sexual tension you could taste it. But you didn’t do anything about it because everyone at the office knew they were a womanizer, they had a new girl every few days and never dated anyone. They were just there for the sex. Or that’s what everyone at the office said. But dang you wanted to hit it off with them so bad, you needed to know what their three mouths tasted like, how would it be to have three brains focused on your pleasure… That sounded delicious in the best possible way.

So when you catch them and their friends in a bar, after a few drinks, you think it’s time. You approach them and their friends at the end of the bar, ready to do something about your pent up sexual tension. You two have been dancing around each other for what feels like ages, and your tipsy brain thinks the best moment to do something about it is right now, right there. When you get closer, you can hear their friends making fun of them and elbowing them as they all giggle, pointing at you. You add a little bit of movement to your hips and hope it doesn’t look too ridiculous.

“Hi darling, how’s your night going?” You touch their pecs as all three of their heads focus on you. You blush, but keep caressing their torso over their shirt, you squeeze a bit and they slap your hand softly.

“Human, get lost.” You can’t understand how their voice can sound so harsh and so sexy at the same time, you can feel your panties melting. Maybe the alcohol has a part to blame, drinking always made you horny, and today is not different.

You pout, bating your lashes in your best puppy look. “Why are you always so mean?” Their three heads blink slowly at you, almost took out balance by your question.

“What? We’re not mean, you are just too soft,” they answer. You scoff, if they want to play that game you can give as better as receive. Uh, receiving… That’s exactly what you want. In a sexy way, against a wall if possible. They look like they can lift you up and fuck you.

“I’m not soft. I’m human. And you are mean.” You think you heard him say something about how they’re already aware that you are human, but you aren’t sure, the bar is really loud and the world is spinning around you.

“You need to go away before we do something all of us would regret.” Their central head is the one doing the talking, but the other two nod along.

“I don’t want to.” You know you sound bratty and entitled, but you are horny and everyone says they’re a womanizer, why are they not womanizing you? “You don’t like humans, is that it?”

“Trust me, they like humans. They like them reeeeeal good.” One of their friends says behind them. All of them laugh, but your coworkers are looking at you like they are going to dig a hole through your body just with their eyes.

“Come with me.” They sound fed up, like they are going to scold you and it’s going to feel awful. But your tipsy brain doesn’t process it fully, so you follow them without questioning. They lead you to the back of the bar, the hallway that leads to the bathroom. The music is softer there, you can listen to your own brain better.

They push you against the wall, they body pressing against your front. You shiver, anticipation filling your guts and their low growl making you whimper. “We can smell how wet you are, we can almost taste your desire. You are too tempting for your own good, honey.” You think the pet name was condescending every time they used it before, but at that moment, it sounds like a caress.

Their hands found the edge of your skirt as they grab your leg and position it against their hip. You are open and exposed, your skirt riding up and your soaked panties in the open. You whine again. You never felt as dirty and naughty as you do now, it’s maddening. They cress the outside of your thigh as they rock their hips against you, letting you feel their cock through your panties. You moan loudly.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please.” You know you’d be embarrassed beyond belief about it the next morning, but right now you don’t care. You can only think about how good their finger feels inside of you, and how much you wish that was their cock. When they move your panties to the side and push one finger inside your needy pussy, you cry out.

“Not here, little human.” They press against your G-spot, making your knees buckle under you. They grab your waist and holds you pressed against the wall as you pant. “If tomorrow you feel like this again, then we can talk.” They said, their fingers slowly thrusting into you.

“What?” You ask, trying to focus on their words and not the wonders they’re doing on your pussy. Their thumb rolls over your clit and you have to bite on your tongue to stop yourself from screaming. It feels so good. You start to move your hips at the rhythm of their thrusts.

“We’ve been waiting forever to get your attention, We’re not wasting it on a quick fuck on a bar.” Their voice sounds serious and you feel confused as fuck. What are they talking about? They hate you, they always pick stupid fights with you over the silliest things.

“What?” You ask, trying to grab their hand but holding onto their shoulders, moving your hips faster. The rational part of you is not present, only your whore-ish part.

“We’ve been waiting to ask you out but we thought you wouldn’t want us.” They mutter that under their breath, you barely catch it.

“What?” You ask, once more. Are they saying they like you? They wanted to ask you out? But… But the gossip. They said they didn’t date, you never saw them with anybody, just random hookups. “What?” You ask again.

“You… We… We have a bit of a human kink with you, okay? You are so soft and so pretty. We can’t stop thinking about you. And then you get up in front of the judge and good lord do you look good. You look magnificent.” Their voice sounds amazed, like they are telling the truth and they truly like you. What the fuck?

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Your question is lost when their thumb starts rubbing against your clit. You think they answer something, but your brain is fuzzy with pleasure. “Stop touching my clit I can’t focus.” You whisper, trying to look at them and see if they aren’t lying. There’s no way they want you, is it?

“What if we don’t want you to focus? What if we want you coming around our fingers until you are crying out how much you love it? How much you like being stretched in public by us?” You moan so loud they have to cover your mouth with their unoccupied hand. “Shhh, be quiet. You don’t want us to get caught, do you?” Your pussy involuntarily clenches around their fingers. “Oh, naughty girl, you do want to get caught. Does that excite you? Do you want everyone to see how improper you really are? You are such a good lawyer but then you part your legs for us in the back of the bar… Such a dirty, dirty woman.” You shiver, your juices flowing around their fingers. You’ve never been as turned on as you are right there, their fingers feel divine and you are so fucking close.

“Please…” Your plea sounds pathetic and you blush, but they just smirk at you, two of their heads attacking your neck at the same time. Feeling the two sets of mouths against your neck combined with the feel of their fingers moving inside of you is getting you so wet their hand is making filthy sounds.

“You are so wet for us, so soft. I bet you taste amazing. We are going to spend so much time licking you. Do you know what they say about cerberus?” You shake your head. “We give the best head because we have three of them. Do you want to feel three tongues against your pussy, honey? Do you want to be worshiped by three heads?” The image they are painting in your head is so good you want to open your legs and ask them to do it right there. But you are so close already, their fingers feel so fantastic inside of you.

“Yes, yes, yes,” you chant, rolling your hips. They accompany your movement, getting you almost to the edge.

“Are you going to come for us? Are you going to be a good woman and come around our fingers? We can’t wait to feel you around our dicks, bet you are going to feel better than any pussy we ever had. Our first human. Our only human. What are you gonna do, honey? Do you want to suck us off?” You nod eagerly, so close. “Of course you want to, you want to be a good little human for us.” You get the feeling them calling you human is doing more for them than for you. Their human kink is playing in your favor. “Come for us, human.” They whisper against your ear as the other two heads suck on your neck.

The combination of fingers and mouths makes your body shake uncontrollably against theirs, your orgasm so good you almost fall down. You can feel your juices dripping down and soaking your panties and their fingers. They take their fingers away and you watch in amazement as they raise their hand to lick it, all three of their heads getting some. You moan as aftershocks rock your body.

They put your panties back in place and slowly lower your leg. Your legs are shaky and you grab onto their arm. Three heads smile down at you, one of them looking specially smug. They pass an arm over your shoulders and help you walk out of the hallway. “Let us take you home.” They whisper, their hold on you so hard it feels wonderful. It feels so good you could fall asleep right there. They gave you the orgasm of your life and on top of it, they are sweet about it. You judged them so bad you feel like shit. You can always make it up to them at some point. You add it to your mental list of things to do in the morning, even though you know you won’t remember.

“There’s no need.” You try to argue, without any force behind your words. You really want to spend more time with them.

“We want to.” Their voice is final, you know that tone. That’s the tone they use in court, and you know you can’t win against it.

They drive you home as you fidget with your rings, nervous after what happened, after what they said. You want to run, to break the silence, but you are speechless. You don’t know what to say and the alcohol you had is kicking you really hard. You feel sleepy and tired, more than ready to go to bed.

They follow you to your house, opening your door and leading you to your bedroom where they help you get undressed. You think they are going to do something more, but they barely touch your naked body as they cover you with a blanket.

You feel three soft forehead kisses before they say: “We aren’t playing games with you, honey. We want to play with your pussy, yes, but not with your heart. We hope you give us a chance.” You nod, and try to answer, but your eyes are so heavy that you can’t keep them open, your brain shutting down.

When you wake up the next morning with a text saying: “We can’t wait to have you sucking our cock. And then we can go to dinner, we booked the fancy restaurant you like.” You giggle on your pillow and kick your legs. Yeah… That sounds like the start of a very fun game.

[snowstained]

since there's a criminal lack of yandere sanji content i'm writing my headcanons for yan sanji. not proofread i'm too lazy.

he just kinda found you one day while he was out shopping for groceries. him falling head over heels for a random pretty person is normal, but the second he laid eyes on you he just knew something was different. he wanted to breathe ever air you did, he wanted to feel every emotion you felt, feel your pain, your joy, your life. he just knew he needed you.

it didn't take much convincing to get the crew to agree into taking you in. it didn't take you a whole lot of convincing either. you were a traveler seeking out your purpose in life, and being a pirate sounded kinda fun anyway.

you didn't see it, but everyone else noticed how his attention from nami and robin dropped the second you joined. all of his specially catered gourmet foods were for you. all of his effort put into his craft was fueled by you. you held his attention, it was for nobody else.

his yandere tendencies aren't very severe, at least at first. he was his normal protective lovey-dovey self to you, but slowly he felt the darker parts of himself creeping in.

every time someone else looked at you a little too long he felt a pit of rage in his stomach. don't even get him started on zoro even breathing in your direction.

one day, he finally snapped. you had been relaxing with zoro on the ship, chatting about mundane life. sanji felt angry, so angry. that's when it got concerning.

sanji wouldn't let you do anything without him. sleeping? he's been having bad dreams and needs someone to comfort him. going on a walk? he was thinking the same thing! the weather was too pretty to be cooped up anyway. showering or changing? he'll stand guard so nobody walks in. he's definitely peeking, he just won't say it. eating? he'll dine with you, he probably made it anyway.

he decided he needed you to need him too, so he created a trauma bonding situation for the both of you. he didn't want to hurt you, but he had to for you to see how good of a guy he is!

you went to a restaurant together and he tipped the chef to secretly slip in a major allergen for you into your food. the allergic reaction started and sanji was there to save you and help you through it.

through what seemed to be crazy coincidences, sanji slowly became your savior. he was always there when you needed him, no matter how severe.

any time you were in trouble you looked to him, and you fell for him. how could you not? he was always there for you.

once together, he stopped creating these situations. you associated that with sanji always being there to help you. you didn't even realize you played into your own manipulation.

sanji is a jealous lover. he doesn't allow you around anyone unless he's near you.

his planning was too perfect, nothing could rip you away from him.

[corriganatheart]

When will you publish the next part of if he was mine can’t wait so excited

if he was MINE Pt. II/ João Félix x reader

Synopsis: You’re secretly in love with your best friend, who is in a toxic relationship.

Pairings: João Félix x fem!reader x Mbappé

Genre: One sided romance, and love triangle.

1 month after the World Cup

“Bro, come here. I need to spill something,” Achraf Hakimi says as soon as his best friend, Kylian Mbappé, enters the locker room. His other teammates, who pay no attention to the duo, were too busy talking and preparing for practice to care. It has also become customary for Hakimi to tell Mbappé the latest gossip, and most of the time, it is useless, so no one really cares about his “teas.” “If this is about babysitting your kids so you can have some quiet time with your wife, I reject,” Mbappé says immediately, knowing his best friend's motives. “No, you asshole, this one is even juicier,” Hakimi says and pulls his friend's arm before anyone can hear. Glaring at Neymar, who was curiously staring at the duo, Hakimi leaned into Mbappé’s ear, “Y/N has requested I give you her number,” he said while wiggling his eyebrows. Mbappé surprisedly yelped back, but he was grinning. “Seriously? Then what are you waiting for?” Mbappé excitedly says and shoves his phone to his friend. The others saw a shift in Mbappé’s mood and looked at each other, wondering what the gossip was about this time. “Do you know why they're not friends anymore?” Mbappé asked. Hakimi looks around the locker room and leans in, “they got into an argument about Magui again, and he’s back with her.” Mbappé stares at his friend in disbelief, it has been a almost a month since the drama started, and there were rumors that João has finally moved on, but now he’s potentially back with her. That can’t be good.

“What the heck are you guys talking about this time?” Neymar asked while approaching the duos, Messi following behind. “Oh, you know, the usual,” Hakimi sassily said, causing Neymar to roll his eyes. “You need us to babysit your kids again so you can get laid?” Hakimi angrily throws a water bottle at Neymar, causing everyone to laugh. “You guys are the worst kind of teammates!” Shrugging, Neymar waits for Mbappé to answer his previous question, but the man just shrugs. “You’ll know it later. It’s a surprise.”

1 week later

Breaking news: João Félix's best friend Y/N, who was once caught up in cheating allegations with him, has moved on. She was caught dining with PSG star Kylian Mbappé and was seen leaving the restaurant together, holding hands. Mbappé, best friend of teammate Hakimi, was seen cheering when Morocco beat Portugal in the quarter-final. Could Mbappé hang out with Y/N to add more fuel, or could this actually be a true romance?

2 minutes later

The Golden Boy: I can’t believe you would do something like that to spite me. I have been trying to talk to you for a month, and you pull this shit. Now my name is brought into the drama because you’re known as João Félix's best friend; leave me out of this drama. Good luck fucking that womanizer.

Incoming call from Kylian

“Hey,” you said, leaning up against your bed.

“Tired yet, bèbè?” He asked, and you could hear video games being played behind him and a couple of his friends snickering and teasing him in French.

“No. I saw the articles; I didn’t expect them to come out so soon,” you shrugged. Mbappé laughs, “that’s how fast the paparazzi are. Sometimes they know shit that even I didn’t know about myself.”

You smile and hear the background noise finally getting quieter, meaning he’s now in a secluded area. “I had fun tonight,” he says, causing you to smile. “Same; thanks for dinner.” Mbappé hums, and you hear him sigh a relief. “Look, I mean what I said about being interested in you, but I get it your feelings aren’t going to go right away. And I would be up for this relationship,” he says. You stay quiet and think about the potential of harming Kylian and João’s feelings. During the dinner, you talked about what happened because Hakimi had spilled the tea. And Mbappé understood that you’re doing this to get over João and make him jealous. At first, he was disappointed, but he likes you, so he volunteered to fake date you. “That’s going to be a lot of drama, you know. I don’t want you to be harassed for it.” Kylian didn’t say anything for a quick minute, but then he cleared his throat. “As embarrassing as it is to admit this, dating you would also clear up rumors about my sexuality. People have been saying weird shit that I’m into men, but let me tell you, I’m really into sleeping with Women.” You laughed because you’ve seen TikTok’s being made about that, and you wouldn’t even care if he was or wasn’t. But you had an idea that he’s pretty straight because so many women have complimented his style in the bedroom.

“You can always back up whenever you want,” you said. “I don’t want you going into something that will potentially harm your reputation.” Mbappé shrugs, obviously finding no harm in faking a relationship with you. “Same goes for you. If you feel like you’re falling for my charms, feel free to back out,” he teases. You laughed and thought of all the possible consequences that could happen. Mbappé is said to be a womanizer, but he has not made a move on you like you thought he would, but he is a flirt. If anything, people would assume you guys are just casual and wouldn’t be surprised it didn’t last. On the other hand, your friendship with João might never be the same. He was already upset that you were photographed with Mbappé, so imagine if you confirmed your relationship with him, you might never be best friends again. “Hey, ima let you get some sleep,” Mbappé says softly. You smile because his voice is just so charming, and if your heart didn’t belong to someone else, you would’ve folded immediately. “Thanks, Kylian, goodnight.”

Breaking News: João Félix and Magui Corceiro confirms to be back together. The duo took a short break after a cheating scandal but seemed happier than ever from the Instagram pictures that Magui posted.

Kylian: Fly out to watch us Saturday? 🥺

You: N meet your nosy ass friends? Lol

Kylian: you are bound to meet my circle anyways😏 we are dating remember?

You: “dating” I suppose I should be supporting my “bf”🤔

Kylian: awe you hurt my feelings with those quotation marks 😓 I got a t shirt for you btw🥰

You: 😲 is it Neymar’s?

Kylian: fuck no! you’re wearing my name

You: jk😝 ig I’ll see you Saturday then!

Kylian: okay bébé🙌🏼 I’ll book you a plane ticket, and you’re staying at my place. 😌

You: why the heck would I do that? 🫥

Kylian: because I am ur man. And besides it’s safer for you to stay with me. 😇

You: fine. but no funny business👀

Kylian: what funny business?🤔

You: don’t act all innocent Kylian.

Kylian: ahhh😱 Y/N! I am a child of god🙏🏻🛐. Why would you think I’ll do such a thing?😤

You: 😑…….🙄

Kylian: hahahahha promise no funny business. Unless you of course ask. I am a gentlemen, I would never say no to a lady😶

Kylian: hello???

Kylian: bébé come back!!

Kylian: alright fine ig u do have a life. See you Saturday love❤️

“Can you believe it?” Magui asked while zooming into the news article of Mbappé following you on Instagram. “They might actually be dating.”

João stares at what his girlfriend is referring to and immediately looks away when the photo of you and Mbappé holding hands appears again. Ever since you guys basically ended your friendship, he hasn’t been the same. Every day and night, he would think about what you said and the possibility of you being together. All these years, you’ve hidden those feelings, and looking back, it was pretty fucking obvious that you are in love with him.

João groans and lies back on the couch as his notification goes off. Ever since Magui posted the photo without his permission, he has been getting text and hate comments. Everyone thinks he’s a sore loser for getting back with his ex, but even he didn’t know they were back together until he woke up in bed with her. Last week when he finally decided to give up on speaking to you, he went out and drank with his friends without knowing that it was a setup and Magui was there. Everyone ended up taking shots, and the next thing he knew, he was in bed with Magui doing everything he could to get you out of his mind.

You were his best friend, everything he ever wanted in a friend. But the idea of dating you never crossed his mind because he did not want to lose you. João knew he was always attracted to you, but he shoved the thought deep inside his heart because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship. If he had known that you liked him for a while, maybe things would’ve been different; perhaps he would’ve considered it. But then he met Magui, and she became his world. She was everything he wanted in a girlfriend, but he still needed you. There were so many arguments in his relationship about you, but he couldn’t choose just one because you’re his best friend and she was his dream girl. But since you left him, his feelings have been very complicated, and he wasn’t sure. He has missed you more than ever, and even the idea of being with his dream girl wasn’t enough. He needed you, but he didn’t know how to tell you without hurting everyone else.

“Babe, I’m talking to you,” Magui whines, frustrated that her boyfriend has been drifting off lately. “Sorry, what did you say?” João asked. Magui frowns and rolls her eyes, “I asked if you knew she’s been sleeping with Kylian?” João just stared at her, wondering where she got the idea of you sleeping with Mbappé. He knew you were friends with Hakimi, but you’ve never mentioned it to him about Mbappé, and you tell him everything. “She’s not like that, so it has to be serious,” João says bluntly, the thought leaving a bad taste in his mouth. “Oh please, do you think Kylian Mbappé would want a girl like her?” Magui asked with disgust. João narrows his eyes, not liking how she is talking about you. “A girl like her?” João asked for clarification. “Yeah, you know, hoeing around footballers to be relevant,” Magui shrugs. João sits up and glares at his girlfriend, “like what you did when you were with me?” This causes Magui and himself to be shocked because he has never mentioned their past. When João forgives, he let go of the pain, because he doesn’t want confrontation, but he has had enough of her treating him like trash. “Honestly, I don’t fucking know why you cheated on me so many times. The idea never occurred to me once, and the fact that you did it so many times only shows how little you care about me and this relationship.” João aggressively stands up and grabs his jacket and car key. He then starts heading to the door, but Magui wraps her arms around his waist, hugging him. “You know how much I struggled because you keep having her around. Things will change because she’s not here anymore. You only need me. It’s me, you need and want. I love you so much, João; no one else but you.”

These were the words he had always wanted to hear from her. She was everything he wanted, but being treated like shit can only reach a specific limit, and he has reached it. But before he let her go forever, he needed to confirm something. João turns around, and without warning, he presses his lips on Magui’s. She accepted it with a moan, mouth savoring the way he lusted for her. She holds on to his t-shirt and starts backing up to the couch, wanting to dominate him. João let her, and the next thing she knew, he was on top of her, looking down at her, anger and confusion written all over his eyes. “You taste like shit. You don’t taste like the girl I fell in love with. I deserve better than you. Go find someone else to be your puppet because I am done,” he says disgustingly. She whimpers, but he doesn’t care; he gets off her and starts walking away, never looking back.

Saturday: PSG vs. Borussia Dortmund

Hakimi: Fuck you for not telling me that you were coming.

Y/N: Hello to you too. And it was a last min decision lol.

Hakimi: whatever. Anything happened last night at Kylian’s house? 😉

Y/N: no you sinful child. we slept like a baby.

Hakimi: whatever😒 anyways party at my place after the game.

Y/N: bruh u confident asf

Hakimi: bitch if I lose I’m not going to eat ice cream and cry. I’ll just party and drink in misery 🥳

Y/N: damn are you always this pleasant before your games?

Hakimi: my bad😬 I haven’t been laid for two weeks, so I’m in a pissing mood.

Y/N: I can tell. Since I’m in town, I’ll just babysit so you can have ur date night.

Hakimi: Fr? Awe you’re the best! I’ll make sure to dedicate a goal to u😉

Y/N: yeah whatever. Goodluck!

You join Hiba and her two sons in the VIP section. They’re sporting Hakimi’s number as you wear Mbappé’s t-shirt. Hiba had told you that Hakimi had told everyone you’re here to cheer for Mbappé, and the whole team has been teasing him. You’re sure they probably asked about João too and wondered if you guys are still friends. If anything, this was entertaining to them because Mbappé has never publicly brought a “girlfriend” around them.

“Look, it’s Jude Bellingham’s wife and their two twins!” Hiba said excitedly as she pointed at a really attractive lady with two adorable children. “Wow, they’re so cute,” you said in awe as you watched the little girl jump up and down, wearing her father’s shirt. The boy stood there like an adult with his head high, and he looked just like Bellingham. “They’re young, but they seem to be happy and have the perfect family,” Hiba says with a huge smile. “It doesn’t matter when you find the right person.” You mumbled. You then look at Jude Bellingham, who is staring at his wife and kids in awe. He looked so in love, and you hope one day, you’ll find someone that looks at you like you’re the most perfect thing in the world. (Reference to Jude Bellingham x reader “If I Should Stay”).

As you admire how Jude Bellingham looks at his wife and kids, you think of the chances you could have if you let go of this ridiculous feeling for João. Maybe you’ll find someone who loves and looks at you similarly. Maybe your Mr. Right is waiting for you while you chase after a guy that doesn’t want you. You smile sadly, and then your eyes drift to the PSG side to see Mbappé staring up at you. His eyes smile at you, and his mouth curves upward when you make eye contact. Your stomach twists, and your face heats up from his stare. You awkwardly wave, and he places four fingers on his lips and sends them your way. The crowd starts going wild, and you’re left stunned as Mbappé smirks and walks away.

Your phone was going off wildly as the news made it around that you’re attending PSG’s game and are supporting Mbappé. Everyone has concluded that you two made it official because, on his first goal, he dedicated it to you by sending a heart your way after he scored. The crowd obviously went wild, and people were telling one another the news, and you’re now labeled as Kylian Mbappé’s girlfriend. Even though this is fake, you couldn’t help but feel drawn to him. He was flirtatious and knew what he was doing. It almost felt real, and for a moment, you forgot the purpose of faking a relationship with him.

“You know he’s down bad for you, right?” Hiba asked while staring at you. You awkwardly chuckle and shake your head, “it’s nothing that serious,” you mumble. Hiba smiles and looks back at the field. “I have known Kylian for years, and he has never brought a woman around us. If he is showing you off for the world to see, it’s obvious he wants you and wants to tell everybody to back off.” You stare at Mbappé, dumbfounded about what Hiba just said. You’ve known the man briefly, but you realize he has known you for years because of Hakimi. Everything Hakimi knows about you has been passed on to Mbappé, who later took an interest in you. For someone whose always hyper and happy, he is one of the most mysterious people you’ve ever met. From pursuing you secretly to fake dating you, he has a side of him you don’t know but want to know.

“You enjoyed the game, bébé?” He asked as soon as you entered the PSG waiting room. “Yeah, it was good. Congratulations,” you said and hugged him. He gladly accepted it, causing his friends to snicker and whistle in the back. “Kylian, you going to introduce?” Neymar asked with a smirk. Mbappé glares at him, “this is my girl, Y/N.” Your face once again heats up from the sound of that. “Cute name for a pretty girl,” Neymar says and shakes your hand. “Mbappé’s a lucky guy.” You giggle, causing Mbappé to glare at you and Neymar; it was pretty cute seeing him jealous. “That’s enough,” Mbappé warns, causing Neymar to shrug and back off. “Oh, come on, be mature,” Neymar says while rolling his eyes. Ignoring Neymar’s comment, Mbappé quickly grabs his stuff, along with his car key. “Let’s go. I got some plans for us.”

“You assholes, don’t forget about the after-party!” Hakimi calls after you and Mbappé as you guys rush out of the room. “Use protection!” You heard someone else shout, causing Mbappé to laugh and you to blush. Like expected, a couple of paparazzi were already waiting outside to catch a glimpse of you and Mbappé. Mbappé and a couple of his security guided you to his car; many people were already snapping photos and screaming their questions.

Y/N how do you feel about João Félix and Magui getting back together?

When did you and Mbappé meet?

Are you guys official?

How do you feel about João Félix unfollowing Magui?

You entered the passenger seat, staring at the person who shouted that question. It has been a while since you’ve been on social media, so you haven’t heard the news of João unfollowing Magui. If it were true, you would be shocked because that is a step to moving on, and he has never taken that step. But then what would be of your relationship with him? Would you guys be friends again? And what would happen to your fake relationship with Kylian? Would you guys have to end it faster than expected?

“You good?” Mbappé asked while staring at you. You smile and him and shake off the weird feelings. “Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed,” you smiled. Mbappé tucks a strand of hair behind your ears, “you looked great, by the way. How was your first time experiencing being a WAG?” He grins while pulling out of the parking lot. You chuckle; being a girlfriend of a high-profile sportsman was better than you expected. Besides sitting in a VIP seat, the experience of watching someone you are with play the sport they love was unique. Of course, this experience wasn’t new; you’ve been to a lot of João’s game and has supported him, but you were never the person to whom he dedicated his goals. “Hey, don’t let them get to you. I know exactly what to cheer you up!”

“Kylian. Omg, when did you do this?” You asked while looking at the setup in front of you. It was beautiful. He has a huge comfortable couch on his balcony with pillows and blankets laid out. A coffee table was placed on the foot of the sofa, with all your favorite snacks and drinks. Five feet from the couch stands a movie theater screen. Candles were light and lined up on the edge of his balcony, and the Eiffel Tower could be seen from his balcony. It was incredibly beautiful.

“Achraf parties always end up with everyone passing out, so I wanted us to spend time together,” Mbappé says while guiding you to the couch. You still admired how beautiful everything looked; you almost wanted to cry because of his effort. “Come on, I don’t want you getting cold,” he says, and you lay on the couch as he lays next to you and covers the both of you with a warm blanket. The movie starts, but you guys don’t focus; both of you want to get to know one another on a deeper level. “Tell me about you, Y/N,” he says while grabbing the bucket of popcorn. “Tell me things people don’t know.”

“Are you asking for my favorite color?” You laughed, causing him to smile softly. “I will take whatever you give me,” he says, and you didn’t miss your heart jumping. No wonder people call him a womanizer; he knows exactly what to say. “Well, people don’t know that I’m secretly in love with my best friend…former best friend,” you said. Mbappé nods, waiting for you to continue. “Ahum, people don’t know that I’m insecure about being labeled as João Félix's best friend or now Kylian Mbappé’s girlfriend.” Mbappé stares at you, not looking the slightest offended by what you just said. “And people don’t know that I have a very important position at my job. I’m not just a pretty face.”

The movie plays in the background as you continue to tell Mbappé about yourself, even things that João might now even know, and not once do you think about the drama that is occurring in your life. “And yeah, that’s how Magui ended up hating me.” Mbappé watches you fidget with your fingers and bite your lips, his heart pounding from your effect on him. “Why do you like him so much? Why do you….love him,” he asked seriously. You glance at the screen and then back to Mbappé, “because he was the only person I ever had.”

Mbappé stares at your uncomfortable form, and he softly rubs his thumb across your cheeks. “I wish I have met you earlier,” he says softly. “Maybe then, I would be an option.” You gulp, realizing he’s referring to being with you without a reason. You’ve known he’s interested in you, but you thought it was just an interest that would disappear after spending some time with you. “If you were this sweet to a fake girlfriend, I can’t imagine how you would be with a real one,” you muttered. Mbappé smiles and gently places a kiss on your forehead. “Why don’t you find out?”

You stare at him; he carefully examines your face, waiting for you to say something. Mbappé asks you to be his real girlfriend, but what about João? Your history with him hasn’t been resolved yet, and after hearing that he has unfollowed and dumped his girlfriend, things might change. Would he apologize and ask to be friends again? Your feelings for him are still there, and it wouldn’t be fair for Mbappé. You needed to resolve things with João first before thinking of another man. But the way Mbappé was looking at you only makes you want to forget about João and leave everything behind. Clenching your pants, you slowly lean forward while staring at his lips. Mbappé does the same, and just when you guys are inches apart, your phone rings.

You awkwardly back up and reach for your phone. Looking at the user, your heart starts beating fast. Mbappé glares at the username, knowing who “The Golden Boy” is. Without meeting his eyes, you answer the phone. “Hello?” You asked. “Y/N, I need you,” João says; your heart beats fast because he sounds broken like he just finished crying. “Fuck I miss you so much; I need you right now, please,” he begs. Because you were used to responding quickly to his pleas, you immediately jumped up from the couch and started walking away when Mbappé grabbed your wrist. “Stay,” he says, and there’s pleading in his eyes. Your voice was stuck in your throat, and you listened to João’s pleas for you to be there for him and Mbappé’s eyes begging for you to stay. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled and pulled your hands away before exiting the balcony, leaving Mbappé behind.

Getting into the taxi, you glare up at Mbappé’s home, the balcony now dark. He didn’t come down when you hurriedly packed your belongings and booked the earliest flight home. You feel guilty, of course, but you’ve known this man for a short time, and you’ve known João your whole life. Although your friendship wasn’t perfect, he was there for you when you needed him, and you weren’t ready to let that go. With a heavy heart, you look away from Kylian Mbappé’s place and look forward to your journey home.

2 weeks later

Breaking news: Kylian Mbappé and Y/N officially call it quits after only a few weeks of dating. Many fans were suspicious of their relationship and suspected they were only short-term. Mbappé is now only focusing on his career and has no interest in starting a new relationship, whereas Y/N has reconciled her friendship with João Félix, and many fans think that might be the reason for the breakup.

Part III is coming! Are we team João Félix or team Kylian Mbappé?

Part III

@poopyloofy @simpingmyassoff @smiley-roos @untitled23430 @ts1mp0ne @forevernightmare @sad1esgf @kakuchosbff

[thedroneranger]

Say My Name

Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Précis: You and your crew enjoy playing games with the aviators at the local navy bar. You may have finally met your match...

Note: Stumbled across a meme that inspired this one. Hoping you think it’s as fun and light as I do—enjoy!

Warnings: 18+ only, smut.

Word count: 3.0k

It was innocent enough. Meet someone, introduce yourself with a fake name and see where the night takes you.

The game was even more fun as a civilian in a Navy bar bursting with aviators. They had no shame introducing themselves with their call signs, taking you home and never speaking to you again. Why should I?

I have to admit: It was a lot of fun. Made things feel low stakes. The hookups were a mixed bag, but that was part of the fun. 

The following week, you reconvened at the bar to brag about your time between the sheets or, at the very least, share a funny bit you gleaned as compensation. 

Since the bar was about as transient as the LAX airport, it was rare to run into someone twice. Plus, by now, we knew the Regulars—Regs for short. They, on the other hand, couldn’t be bothered to remember us.

An in-game challenge we liked to issue each other was running into Regs and seeing if they remembered us. You lose, you buy a round. You win, your drinks are everyone else’s problem for the rest of the night. 

This week was no exception. Skye, real name, had saved seats at the bar for Jane, real name, and I. Perfectly timed, the bartender delivered our drinks as we sat. 

Upholding our tradition, Skye arrived first, so she shared her conquest first. She had caught the eye of a tall, sun-kissed pilot, call sign Rooster, that lived up to the implied innuendo. For the first time, Skye wanted, no needed, a Reg! Our resident one-hit wonder, she refused to touch the same pawn twice. 

Meanwhile, Jane went home with a handsome guy, call sign Harvard. The three of us chuckled as she proceeded to rant about how he must’ve been a nepo baby to get into the country's most elite university. That, or all the jet fuel really killed quite a few brain cells. Thank goodness the head between his legs required only blood flow—it did not disappoint. However, she would rather watch paint dry than have to attempt to hold a conversation with him again. 

Now my turn, the pair looked at me expectantly. Both saw me leave with a suave blond pilot, call sign Hangman. 

Hangman was one of the smoother pilots I’d met. He stumbled upon me alone, sitting at the bar, Skye and Jane elsewhere toying with their catches.

“This seat taken?” He had a faint southern drawl. 

“All yours,” I responded. The bartender arrived with my drink, and Hangman wordlessly ordered his own. 

We looked at each other. His eyes were a stunning jade, and his smile was absolutely lethal.

Thankfully, I’d been told time and time again my grin was just as fatal. I let myself pretend that was the reason he was looking. Throughout the night, his gaze would drop to my mouth often. Occasionally, it would drift down my neck and sometimes lower.

His beer arrived and we continued to banter. Finally, an opportunity arose to exchange names. “Hangman,” he said, tipping his beer bottle toward me. 

“Alex,” I lied as I touched the edge of my drink to his. “Friends call me Lex.” I winked as I sipped my beverage.

Part of the fun was how long you could keep their attention or how often they got distracted by an easier target. I had to hand it to Hangman, I did not peg him as a blinders-on kind of guy, but he was. 

As the night wore on, we sat closer and closer. Surprisingly, I had not noticed when he hooked his foot on my barstool and was subtly inching me toward him.

My elbow was resting on the bar, our bodies turned mostly toward each other. Hangman had just delivered a punchline to an actually funny joke that made me genuinely laugh. 

“You know,” I looked at him through my lashes, “your accent gets thicker with every beer.”

His megawatt smile appeared. “The drawl is how I draw ya in.” He winked and knocked my knee with his. 

Damn, he was charming. 

If I hadn’t been sitting at the bar with him for the last couple hours, I’d find it hard to believe this funny, affable human was the same cocky asshole shit-talking his friends and sharking their cash in darts earlier in the evening.

Last call crept up on us. We stayed in our seats as we closed our tabs—a true gentleman, Hangman insisted he pick up my drinks. 

“Nightcap at my place?” He offered as he finished his signature with a gallows stick figure. A chuckle escaped me as I nodded in response. “What?” he inquired, cocking his head a little.

My eyes still on the receipt, I subtly gestured my chin in the same direction. “You’re really into your call sign.” He smirked, his deep dimples making an appearance as we vacated our seats.

“Only here,” he responded. “Makes the bartenders smile—I like to leave this place in good humor.” His hand slipped to the small of my back as we walked out.

He insisted he drive my car to his place, so I could leave at my leisure. He’d get his from the bar in the morning. 

“I’m surprised you live here.” I initiated conversation as he drove. I watched a smile tug his features. 

“Well, I wasn’t completely honest.” He stole a quick glance at me before putting his eyes back on the road. “I’m staying at a buddy’s house. He’s out of town while I’m in town, so he lent me his place. Allows me to avoid the barracks, and I return the favor when he’s in my neck of the woods.” He paused. “Have you ever been?”

It was the politest way I’d ever been asked if I were a tag chaser. “To the barracks? I have not had pleasure,” I responded. Sarcasm coloring my tone. 

“You’re not missing anything,” he quipped with a wink. I smiled mostly to myself. The rest of the ride was silent between us but not awkward. The radio was our soundtrack until he cut the engine in the driveway of a quaint little bungalow. 

As I exited, Hangman came around to shut the door and take my hand. We walked to the house, and once inside he left me to my own devices while he snagged some beers from the fridge. 

Hangman handed me a longneck as we settled into the couch, me tucked into his side. After some small talk, our beers almost empty, he was leaning toward me. His eyes locked on my lips. “You know,” I said as he continued to close the gap between us. “You’re much more of a gentleman that I was expecting.”

His signature smirk appeared. “There’s still time for me to not be a gentleman.” He pressed his lips to mine. Eagerly, I forced him back so I could climb into his lap. One palm rested on his chest, while the other tugged his locks. 

He groaned as I rolled my pelvis into his and roughly pulled on his lower lip. Playfully, I sat back, biting my own lip and batting my lashes. Hangman’s hands settled into the back pockets of my jeans and kneaded my backside. “Something tells me you're trouble.”

Our smirks mirrored one another. “Aren’t you lucky, you get to find out firsthand.” I leaned in for one more kiss, before slipping off his lap. Zero hesitation, he popped up, grabbed my hand and led me to his room. 

We barely crossed the threshold, and Hangman was peeling his shirt over his head. I mimicked his action, and we slipped our pants off at the same time. He watched as I slowly stood to my full height. His eyes wandered the length of my legs and then studied the tiny swathe of fabric covering my apex. 

As he looked, I turned so his eyes followed the curve of my thighs to my buttocks and then up my back. I was looking over my shoulder at him as he realized my bra was dangling from my index finger. My smile widened as the garment hit the floor, and then I sashayed to the bed.

He watched me sink onto the mattress. Knees wide, I let my legs dangle over the side and leaned back on one palm. The other was busy kneading my nipples to taut peaks. 

Even in the dim light of the room, I could see his pupils were completely blown. He sauntered over and stood between my knees. Tilting my head up, I met his gaze. Staring down at me, he tangled a hand in my hair. My eyes fluttered closed, waiting for his next command. 

Instead, he untangled his hand from my trusses. Eyes open with curiosity, I kept his gaze as he sank to his knees, resting his palms on the tops of my thighs. We never broke eye contact as he kissed each of my kneecaps. 

My breath hitched as his calloused fingers ghosted up my legs and curled around the sides of my panties. Almost involuntarily, my hips lifted so he could slip the garment down. Hangman took his time sliding them off, letting his fingers trail the entire length of my legs. Settling himself, he looped one of my legs over each shoulder. The position forced me to lie further back and prop myself on my elbows. 

I chewed my lip as he nosed and kissed along my inner thighs. His smirk appeared as he got closer to where I really wanted him. “As a gentleman, I’ll make you come first.” A wet, hot kiss punctuated his statement.

Before I could retort, he spread me with his fingers and suctioned his lips around my bundle of nerves. If it weren’t for his hand anchoring my hip, my entire body would've come off the bed. “Oh, fuck!” I nearly shouted as his fingers slipped down to my soaking hole. 

He pulled away, tugging my clit before letting it go, to watch his thick fingers languidly sink into me. Every come-hither motion had me seeing stars and the band in my lower stomach pulling tighter. Coupled with him lapping my core, I was nearly over the edge. The final push was a string of phrases, including ‘just like that’ and ‘good girl’ leaving his mouth.

I sat up and squeezed my eyes shut as my orgasm rippled through me. Hangman slipped from beneath my legs and settled beside me on the bed, ushering me to lay back down. Prolonging my peak, he scissored his fingers and enjoyed my walls tightening around his digits.

Finally through my high, Hangman removed his fingers. That disappointingly empty feeling washing over me, I opened my eyes to see him cleaning my arousal from his hand. “You’re sweet,” he said as he pulled his fingers out of his mouth with a pop and looked down at me. 

My hand went to the back of his head to pull him down for a kiss. Sloppily, I licked his mouth and sucked his lips to taste myself. We broke apart. “Mhmmm, needed to confirm,” I explained. His smile appeared as he pushed his lips back to mine.

Hangman growled as I sank my teeth into his bottom lip. Breaking the kiss, he slipped off the bed to grab a condom, rolling it on as he came back. He grabbed my ankle to position me at the edge of the bed so his length was resting against my throbbing apex.

The backs of my thighs rested against the front of his. He still had a hold on my ankle, while my other leg hooked around his hip. I watched as Hangman laid my leg against his chest. Then he toured the length of it until his hand came to rest on my hip. 

We kept eye contact as he leaned forward. “It’s my turn.” His hand slipped between us to guide his length into me. A hissed deflated my lungs as he seated himself. Girthier than his fingers, he gave me a few seconds to adjust.

Every couple of thrusts, his pace increased. Now verging on brutal, he hooked my legs around his arms as he planted his palms on the bed for more leverage. I couldn’t help the moans that escaped my lips as he relentlessly drove into me. 

“Taking me so well,” he complimented. “That’s a good girl, Lex.”

Lex? 

Who the fuck was Lex?!

My body reacted before my mind, and my open palm connected with his cheekbone. Hangman’s hips stuttered, but only for a moment. “What was that for?” he asked between thrusts. 

Fuck. 

I’m Lex.

I forgot…

Fortunately, Hangman seemed none the wiser. “I need to know so I can do it again,” he clarified, smirking. 

“Shut up,” I ignored his question. “Put your hand around my neck.”

“Choke you?” he rephrased. 

Whining, I clawed at his wrist. “Yes, please!” 

He obliged, placing his palm over the column of my throat. His thumb, fore and middle fingers applied pressure to the sides of my neck. A hum buzzed up my throat and my bottom lip disappeared between my teeth as he applied pressure. 

The only sounds in the room were both of us panting and skin against skin. His hand had since left my neck and was cradling my head, fingers curled in my hair, while the other was planted beside me on the bed.

One of my hands reached between us to draw tight circles on my engorged nerves. Occasionally, I’d slip my fingers into a V around his base. “Yes, keep your hand there,” he instructed. I obeyed, squeezing rhythmically. A drawn out ‘fuck’ left his lips as his hips stuttered while he came. 

Hangman buried his face in the crook of my neck, but kept his pace to encourage my second orgasm. His hand replaced mine between us. The calluses of his thumb added just enough sensation to push me into my next pleasure wave. “Fuck, I love when you squeeze me.” His pace slowed at the same rate as my aftershocks.

Hangman uncurled himself from me, and I whined at the loss of heat and sat up. He threw me his discarded t-shirt before wandering to the bathroom. A minute or two later, he came back with a warm washcloth and, kneeling in front of me, gently cleaned me up. 

Offering his hand, he pulled me to standing. Then, before returning to the ensuite bathroom, he turned down the blankets and motioned for me to climb in. 

Jokingly poking a finger to my chest, I looked over my shoulder and then back at him. “You want me to stay?” 

His signature smirk reappeared as he walked over to me, standing close enough I had to look up at him. “Can I tell you a secret?” I nodded, waiting. He bent down so his lips met my ear. “I’m a cuddler.” He whispered, and then placed a chaste kiss at the top of my jaw, before dipping past me to the bathroom.

By the time Hangman came back, I was nestled into his bed, postcoital sleepiness settling in. He draped himself over me, wrapping an arm around my waist and slipping his leg between mine. The last thing I remembered was him pressing kisses to the back of my neck. 

A few hours later, I stirred to find myself tucked into Hangman’s side, him on his back. My head and hand on his chest, and my leg looped over his. His arm was slack in the valley between my hip and ribs.

I wanted to stay there with Hangman. Kiss him awake and then convince him to go to breakfast, but that wasn’t part of the game.

Begrudgingly, I slipped from his grasp. However, I had decided I was keeping his t-shirt. Collecting my clothing, I slipped on some pants. Then, I crept over to the bathroom to make sure I was somewhat presentable. Gathering the rest of my belongings, I hopped into my vehicle and headed home. 

Keeping up the facade, I left the longing details out of my story as I wrapped it up. Jane and Skye were both ready to jump on me with a million questions.

However, instead, their attention was drawn behind me. Confused, I swiveled in my seat to find Hangman leaning against the counter, looking right at me. 

“Hey, stranger.” My heart definitely skipped a beat. 

His gorgeous grin appeared as he stood to his full height and leaned closer to me. “Hey, stranger,” he repeated. “Left without a trace on Saturday.”

“Is that not what you wanted?” His gaze was intense, yet I couldn’t look away. 

“Not at all.” A drink arrived for him, and he winked at the bartender. “I was hoping we would go out for breakfast.” He sipped his beer. “Exchange phone numbers.” He paused again. “Real names.”

I’d been had. 

He smiled at my silent confirmation. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked in a lower voice. 

Hangman leaned further in to whisper into my ear. “And ruin such a hot moment?” We pulled just far enough apart to look each other in the eye. “I was sad when you weren’t there for Round 2 in the morning.” 

I couldn’t help but grin. Heat filled my cheeks, as I looked at my shoes for a moment. 

“Instead of you toying with another flyboy’s heart tonight, I’m going to buy your drinks and get to know you…” he trailed off. I finished his sentence with my name, which he repeated with a grin. 

“I knew you weren’t a Lex.” He winked. “I’m Jake, by the way.”

“Hi, Jake. Nice to meet you.” I winked back before taking a sip of my drink.

Jake let out a hearty laugh that squinted his eyes. 

Skye’s hand brushed my shoulder as she and Jane vacated the area. They both gave Jake little waves. In exchange, he relayed soft thank yous.

He pulled my stool as close to his as possible and looped his arm around the back. “Well,” he looked down at me, “now that I know your name, I want to know everything else.”

“Good thing we have all night.”

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[lfghughes]

Say Cheese

a/n: I’m telling you guys that dad!nico, uncle!jack fuel me

There was no way you could wrangle your five year old at the moment as horrible as that sounded. When Nico had originally brought up it was time for the team photo a part of you wasn’t nervous about any of it. She no longer needed either of you to keep her entertained while photos were being taken. This was also one of the few times that everyones kids were also all together and she had kids at all various age stages around her which was nice because it meant all her fun uncles could also concentrate on getting their photos done without her interrupting.

She zoomed around with the other kids and you were comforted in knowing that she was at least safe and there wasn’t much for her to get into that would not be safe. Right now you knew she was off somewhere with Haulas kids, every once in a while they would zoom by and her giggles would fill the whole rink. Now it was time to get the whole family together and this was the part you knew would be the hard part. Getting her attention and dragging her to this photo.

Something about asking a five year old to take a picture was the end of the world suddenly. “Your daughter is about to give me the biggest chase of my life once I ask her to come over for the picture.” You warned Nico, giving him a warning look because she got her stubbornness from him no matter what he said about her getting it from you. “I’ll get her.” Dawson, John, and Luke offered at the same time. “Perfect, teamwork, I like it.” You told them and watched them skate off.

From where you were you watched the whole thing unravel in front of you. She loved her uncles but she loved being difficult a lot more and she was giving them a run for their money until finally Dawson managed to grab a hold of her. She squirmed most of the way over until Nico got her in his arms. “Did you guys give her chocolate?” He asked, looking at at Dawson, John, and Luke a little confused and they all shook their heads. “She was like that when we got her.”

You couldn’t help but facepalm because you had a feeling you knew what happened. “Baby, did you find a snack table?” You asked and she immediately beamed at both you and Nico. “Mhmm, I love chocolate donuts.” She exclaimed and you could only imagine the mess she probably left behind. “They’re going to ban our kid from coming here.” You laughed as you both got settled onto the seats on the ice. “Daddy look what I found too!” She said as she raised a puck in her hands.

“Where did you even get that??” You asked and she just gave you a small giggle. “She gets all of this from you, I swear.” You told Nico and he just laughed. “Definitely not from me.” Somehow by some miracle she sat patiently on Nicos lap for the first two pictures and then she started wriggling around. “I want to play.” She insisted as she kept wriggling until Jack who was next to her got her attention. “Here make a silly face with Uncle Jack for the photo okay?” He asked, diverting her attention to something a little more fun and of course she listened to him. “Okay, Uncle Jack. Can you go with me to get more chocolate donuts now?”

“Of course we can, giggles.” He told her, referring to her nickname and immediately both you and Nico shook your heads. “No more sugar.” Both of you started but Jack was already shrugging. “Sorry favorite uncle duties call.”

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 17!!!

Okay, it's been a bit so quick recap: We just spent the evening at a dive bar singing karaoke and learning that 1) Jesus is a 13-year-old rich white kid with rich parents living in L.A. and 2) Muriel is missing. The Angel of Sardis gave us a lovely fishbowl (alcoholic drink since no one in this world has bothered to ask Reader's age because I have more room to play that way) as a reward for singing Taylor Swift (Shake it Off). We pick up our story The Morning After.

Also, since the poll about Sardis tied, I'm taking it to mean that everyone needs/wants more time with him to figure him out. Fortunately people also voted to bring him along, so we get to have LOTS OF THAT!! :D

Brandenburg Concerto No. 3 in G Major for anyone who's curious.

What music do you think Anathema likes??

Let's do this!!

Beginning || Previous || Next

**********************************

The next morning you sit at the table in the dining room of the massive Ritz hotel suite, staring into your coffee. You have a headache, and no one else seems to be faring too much better. If only it was just a hangover. A miracle from either Aziraphale or Crowley could fix a hangover, but there was no way that a miracle of any size could make your situation any less bleak.

Aziraphale, angel that he literally is, had thought to order in breakfast from the kitchens. You look from your coffee to the waiting plate of pancakes, eggs, and bacon, heaving a sigh. Jesus, if and when you find him, is an entitled teen. Muriel, friend and precious, is missing. Things are...well, it’s hard to feel happy or optimistic right now. Your companions aren’t faring much better as far as you can tell. Crowley is staring at his phone with a frown, the sound effects of Candy Crush drifting across the otherwise silent table. He’s playing at non-chalance, but you know Distraction As A Coping Mechanism when you see it. Aziraphale has barely touched his food, focusing more on alternating between stirring his tea, and sipping it only to add more sugar. The drink must be nearly syrup by now. Anathema keeps dangling her pendulum, pausing, then setting it down to re-cast her rune stones. You’ve noticed that they keep landing up the same way. Well, you need fuel in your system if you’re going to deal with all of this, so you reluctantly cut a slice of pancake with your fork and bring it to your mouth.

The silence stretches. Well, except for the ambiance; Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast, pancake slice. Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast, pancake slice. Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast, bacon – mixing it up a little. Candy Crush, spoon stir, runes cast

BAM!!!!

The door of the suite slams open, and there stands Sardis with his foot in the air.

He kicked the door down. What...on….earth…

“I FOUND HIM!” Sardis stomps into the suite toward the table, waving his phone in the air, “I FOUND HIM! I knew I’d seen his face somewhere, and I found him!!”

Crowley sits up straight for once in his life. “Who THE FUCK gave him a key?!”

You avert your gaze. The fishbowl was delicious, and he patted your head afterward and told you everything would be okay! Not your fault….entirely.

There isn’t much time for you to contemplate your guilt because Sardis has turned up the volume on his phone, and pressed play on a Tik Tok video. He turns his phone so that you all can see the screen. A boy with dirty-blonde hair is smiling out of it. His hair is longer in the middle and pouffed up with what is probably a standard-teenager’s worth of hair gel, and the sides are very short with...dollar signs shaved into them. It’s just a Tik Tok video, but you can smell the Axe body spray from here.

“Hey guys!” The smiling teen calls, waving at the camera. “It’s me, ya boy Jeremy. I’m bringing back my most popular series. That’s right! You asked, and I’m answering your prayers! Time to bring back Let’s See What I Can Get Away With Because I’m RICH.”

Your face twists in disgust, and you hear Anathema groan.

“I think we’ve seen quite enough,” Aziraphale says, speaking for you all.

“Are...are you sure that’s Jesus?” You ask. Honestly you’re hoping it’s a joke. You’re hoping beyond hope that this...this...caricature of a person is not the same person who you need to convince to help you save the world.

“Oh yeah,” Sardis replies, “That’s him. Right name and everything.”

“Wot? Jeremy?” asks Crowley with an edge of salty sarcasm.

“No,” Sardis says, “His true name. I know everyone’s, remember? It’s the right kid, you have my word on that.”

Truth be told, you’re still not exactly sure what his word is worth, but for now it’s a lead. You glance at Anathema, who shrugs.

“Fits the bill,” she admits, “All my readings have been...unsettlingly clear about the kind of kid we’re looking for, and I mean...” She gestures helplessly at the phone and the video that Sardis has, thankfully, paused. You blink, dumbstruck. Aziraphale said something last night about Heaven cutting corners. Apparently they had cut the corners so thoroughly they’d made a circle.

Great.

******************

Breakfast suddenly became easier after that. Maybe it was because Sardis was the only one who wasn’t completely despairing over everything, and maybe it was because he was suddenly helping himself to the plates of excess pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Suddenly, you noticed Aziraphale wave a finger and the food was hot again – trying to impress company, or be a good host, or both no doubt. You found that your appetite had suddenly returned, along with your need for caffeine. Even Crowley had grabbed some bacon now that, perhaps, there seemed a less likely chance of him having the choice if he waited any longer. Sardis did most of the talking, explaining that the shortest driving route would take 28 hours. Best to get started asap then.

“I am not listening to anymore of your….Us songs!” Crowley growls at you as soon as you get in the car.

“Not all of them are love songs!” You protest.

“No! No breakup songs either!”

“Fine, fair, but what about -”

“And especially no End-of-the-World songs!” He snarls. You’re pretty sure he’s halfway to hissing at you now. “We have enough of that to deal with assss is!” Ah, there it is.

Ever-so-gently, Aziraphale takes the phone out of your hand.

“Perhaps it’s about time someone else had a turn,” he says. Ah, so he’s finally gotten tired of humouring you and your taste in music. Well, it had to happen eventually.

Unfortunately, this means that you all end up listening to Brandenburg Concerto No 3 in G Major. Well, it could be worse, you figure. At least this song has movement to it, even if it does feel endless based on your musical standards. Crowley is driving and silent, Aziraphale is waving your phone around in the passenger’s seat like a conductor’s baton. The backseat is as follows – You, Sardis, and Anathema.

Yes, Sardis is there. Considering the way he found Jesus – or, Jeremy – so quickly, and the way he seems to be single-handedly keeping everyone’s morale afloat, it seemed a waste to leave him behind. Besides, both Crowley and Aziraphale had tried to make him leave, but he just….stayed. In the end, you pouted, they gave up, and now he’s sitting in the middle of the backseat, because you and Anathema have seniority.

Speaking of Anathema, you notice her very pointedly staring out the window. She looks...stiff. Maybe classical music isn’t her thing? Your suspicions are confirmed approximately nine minutes later when she practically jumps up from her seat and grabs the phone out of Aziraphale’s hand and presses stop. The music comes to a halt and silence fills the SUV. Aziraphale looks shocked and appalled.

“Anathema!” The angel exclaims after a moment. You can practically hear him clutching at his non-existent pearls. You can see him resisting the urge to clutch at his bowtie. “We weren’t even finished the Allegro!”

Anathema takes a deep breath. You’re able to count out a solid beat of ten before she speaks.

“I...am not...listening to classical concertos for 28 hours. I don’t care what key it’s in or how many allegros it’s got!”

Crowley snickers and snorts. “Concertos don’t work like that.” He says. You see Aziraphale gently pat the demon’s knee as if to say ‘that’s my man.��

“Well what would you rather?” Is what Aziraphale actually says, “More bebop?”

“Try me, and I’ll play death metal, I swear I will.”

“Um,” Sardis ventures cautiously, “Can I see that for a minute-- thank you.” He plucks the phone out of Anathema’s hand. After a minute or two of swiping, he taps the screen, and the car fills with songs from well-known musicals. Now, although this isn’t exactly to everyone’s taste, no one can find a good reason to outright hate it. No one can manage to find a good reason not to put up with it, and so by the time Music of the Night has melted into Seasons of Love, everyone has settled down and accepted that things aren’t actually all that bad.

“Impressive,” You mutter, basking in the semi-content vibe. Everyone is still a little on edge, but it feels less intense now.

Sardis smirks. “Six siblings,” he says to you with a small nudge.

“What happened to the others?” Anathema asks, tuning in to the conversation.

“Well,” Sardis sighs, “Of the seven of us - myself, Smyrna, Pergamum, Ephesus, Philadelphia, Thyatira, and Laodicea - Smyrna and Philly were the only ones who didn’t get hate mail. Smyrna was always super into the doctrine. She drank the kool-aid, as the humans here would say, and felt it her calling to ‘return home,’ as she put it. Bullshit, honestly. We weren’t born angels, we were made alongside the churches of Christ. ‘S one of the reasons why they don’t actually give a shit about us.”

“And why you worried that your miracles might get taken away,” You add, putting some of the pieces together. Sardis nods. “Wait, a minute,” You say, “You were made??”

Sardis laughs. “Alright Little Moth, you need to pick a lane here. Do you want to hear about my siblings or how I was born human?”

“You were BORN HUMAN?!” You are practically bouncing right now. What...how… “But you said that you can’t change your species!”

“I said your Miracle Enabler can’t change your species,” He replies with a twinkle in his eyes, “Not that it can’t be done. The seven of us were all born human. We made the first seven churches, so we were made guardians, lower angels. Like...lower than whatever the lowest type of angel you know of is. But we weren’t created as angels like your friends in the front seat.” Movement catches your peripheral vision, and you notice Crowley shifting a little in his seat. No doubt that’s a touchy subject that only Aziraphale is allowed to go anywhere near, but he says nothing. “So they all pretend we don’t exist, and look down on us whenever they need to deal with us. Sort of like we’re --”

“Oh, don’t worry,” You interject, “I read enough fantasy to understand the way magical societies view human-born magic users.” You can imagine that being An Angel of God would probably get old real fast if everyone who was supposed to welcome you actually hated you and made sure you knew it. Goodness knows it got to Aziraphale eventually, makes sense that a human-born angel (a huboan? You’ll work on it) would get sick of it a lot sooner.

“And that’s why I like you Little Moth,” Sardis says with a chuckle and a wink. “Anyway, so I know Smyrna went to Heaven. Philly stayed here. The two of us have always been really close, she stuck with me and we messaged and called and visited all the time until recently. I got some messages from her when the world went nuts during the first apocalypse, but I haven’t heard from her since. She stopped replying to my messages.”

Now it’s your turn to shift uncomfortably in your seat. Your eyes drop to your feet and start to fill with tears, so you change your view to the one outside your window.

“I can relate,” You say after a moment, holding back a sniffle and a sob. Deep breath. “Well, I’m glad you’re sticking with us.” You plaster a smile on your face and turn back to him. “Maybe we can find her.”

He smiles. “That’s what I’m hoping.” For a while, everyone is silent. After a few minutes, Anathema offers to put together a playlist with everyone’s favourite songs. The mood shifts considerably as the five of you spend the next few hours excitedly making musical suggestions.

It’s the best collection of music you’ve ever heard.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

Beginning || Previous || Next

[kk43mi]

alr so if you’re okay with this kind of request i’d like to request a fic in which scara is afab!! i’ve seen many people headcanoning him as transmasc and it kinda grew on me :)) i think he’d be sub and enjoy oral but at the same time also less vanilla things like being tied up, restrained, blindfolded.. idk i’ll leave the rest to you :D

please feel free to ignore my request if it makes you uncomfortable! have a nice day or night<3

this idea is so good anon ! yes i also like to think he would like being restrained...hes always demanding you to eat him out and stuff omg i have so much thought into this. you also have a good day/night! excuse if this seems so messy, ive never written a trans fic... forgive me o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

jealousy┊scaramouche

PAIRING ┊trans!scara x softdomf!reader GENRE ┊ smut. WC ┊ 1.4k+ WARNINGS ┊ (in this case this is wanderer, but i will call him scara!) , praise , pussy eating(receiving and giving.) , needy scara , tied up , lowercase intended!!! SYNOPSIS ┊ partnering up with kazuha to work with your mission, scara gets jealous, thinking you were going to leave him for kazu...or maybe have more fun around kazuha. you and kazuha are good friends, always play fighting and joking with each other, scara cant stand the thought of you enjoying someone else, so he gets jealous and demands you to eat him out. A/N ┊ written by kam , hope you guys enjoy !

the bustling paths of inazuma were alive with activity as you strolled along, your footsteps in sync with the rhythm of the city. your mission for the day was to work alongside scaramouche, but you couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment when you learned he had asked kazuha to accompany you instead.

"looks like it's just you and me today," kazuha remarked with a mischievous smile, his amber eyes sparkling. "let’s make the best of it, shall we?"

you nodded eagerly, having grown fond of kazuha's company over the past few weeks. his carefree nature always brought a sense of joy to any situation. as you embarked on your mission, you and kazuha engaged in playful banter and light-hearted teasing, each teasing comment met with laughter.

little did you know, scara was watching from a distance, his eyes following your every move. He couldn't help but feel jealousy rising within him. his blunt, cold demeanor masked a deeper vulnerability, and the thought of you enjoying someone else's company didn't sit well with him.

as the day wore on, scara’s jealousy escalated. he began to repeatedly mutter under his breath, his words filled with bitterness. "why is everyone drawn to her? can’t they see i’m right here?" he grumbled, unable to hide his frustration.

meanwhile, you and kazu were completely engrossed in your mission, unaware of scara’s growing resentment. the sun painted the sky in shades of orange and pink as evening settled in, casting a warm glow on the city. the mission had been a success, but scara couldn't find any solace in that.

finally, unable to contain his envy any longer, scara confronted you as you bid farewell to kazuha with a hug. scaras features contorted with frustration, his voice tinged with a mix of anger and vulnerability. "why do you always have to seek attention from others? can’t you see i’m here too?" he snapped, annoyance evident in his tone.

taken aback by his sudden outburst, you looked at scara, his harsh words only fueling your confusion. "scara, what are you talking about? kazuha and I were just having fun. it doesn't mean I don't appreciate your presence. you paired me up with him, so why are you being like this?!"

"youre being wayy too fucking touchy with him! and exchanging jokes too like as if you dont have me." he crossed his arms, while he puffed his cheeks out, signifying he was irritated. "scara, were just friends and you know that! plus he already has lumine!" you put a hand on your hips.

"yeah but no need to hug him! if you want someone to hug, im here." his forehead popped a vein, clearly telling that he was pissed the thought of you hugging someone other than him. "ugh, im pissed off now. if you enjoy time with him more then get with him." and that made you scoff.

"scara i never said anything about enjoying more with him! look...are you just..jealous?" you came to that conclusion...why else would he be mad, he never acted this way before.

"im not jealous! it was just a violence impulse that took over for a second." he would scoff before shifting his hat to block his face. "so in other words, jealous." you couldn't help but chuckle, and in that moment, he roughly clasped your wrist.

"well im pissed and pent up now! help me." with an effortless grace, he swept you up in a bridal-style embrace, then lifted both of you, soaring towards the direction of your shared abode. "wha-" was the last word you said before he took off.

sooner or later, you both reached your abode, scara gently places you down, harshly grabbing your wrist again. "ah-scara that hurts." your wrist ached at the sides, but your complaints fell on deaf ears as he continued to pull you into the house, heading for your shared room.

you would sigh, before finally speaking. "what do you want? cuddles? kisses?" the echo of scaras firm footsteps resonated through the house as he led you to the room. he harshly pulled you into the bed with him. "eat me out." his words left your eyes open wide.

"seriously..? now?" you eyed at him, intertwining gazes. "im pissed about that kazuha dude, so help me out here!" he can already be seen taking off his garments, till the only armor left visible on him was his black under-suit. "hurry.." he would grab your head, lowering it down to his aching pussy, begging for you to lick and suck on.

"dont order me around." you push his hand off you with a sigh. "ill make it up to you alright..? even though it wasnt my intents to make you jealous.." you whispered the last part. "well then hurry up! need to cum, and we havent been able to do it for so long since you were so fucking busy with missions!" you let out a chuckle. "i know im sorry."

you would move the suit that would cover his heat, revealing his pussy, pustulating on nothing but air. "so eager to be touched already." "mmh hurrryy." he would buck his hips towards you, running out of patience. "now now, no need to hurry, lets make this more exciting for you, mkay?" you eyed at him, before heading to the nearby table stand, you deftly opened the drawer, revealing two soft, neatly folded cloths. with a quick and precise motion, you reached out and secured them in your grasp.

scara rubs his thighs together, looking so...excited. he was biting his lips as he couldnt contain his thrill, he always loved the thought of being tied up. "do you want to try th-" "yes, please." he said with no hesitation. to be honest, you didnt think he would be up for this, so, there you bind his wrists together and then secure a blindfold over his eyes. the thought of not knowing where you would touch next had aroused him so much.

before scara can even say 'hurry', you tongue was already on his clit. sucking and swirling the soft muscle on it. "mmghff~!" scara muffled out, shuddering in pleasure as he moans out. traveling both of your thumbs to his folds, spreading them as you glide your tongue sensually along it. emitting pornographic moans from scaras lips. thighs quivering from the way your tongue skillfully pleasures him.

bucking his hips towards your face more, you take this as in he wanted more...inserting your tongue inside while your thumb caressed small circles on his clit, it sent him into an intoxicating whirlwind of pleasure. eliciting moans here and there. his head thrown back as his hands tried to find something to take hold on.

scara could almost cum on the spot right now...just a bit more and..there you halt your movements. "huh..? hey, whyd you stop..." he would whine, bringing his own fingers to stimulate his clit, but you slap it away. "no touching yourself, plus, im all worked up too." you say and he can hear the sounds of clothes shuffling and falling onto the ground. "lay down." you commanded and he obliged.

and there, youre on top of him, you ass facing him, laid on top of his heat as his arms were secured around you, creating a 69 position. "do it together mk?" he nods eagerly and already starts eating you out like he hasnt eaten in years. your thighs trembles, but that didnt stop you from sucking his clit again. sucking, licking, and fingering his bud had him feeling satisfied, even forgetting why he was pent up in the first place.

moans emitting from your mouth due to the way hes sucking your clit, not even stopping to take a break. stimulating you so hard youre almost at your climax, but you hold it in, wanting to come together with scara. the smell of sex and sweat is filled in the air, tasting his sweet, sweet juices, the flavors dancing delightfully on your tongue. "nnghf! y/n...gonna cum..!" he mutters out, sending vibrations to your clit.

"together..!" were the last words you said before both of the individuals squirted on each others faces. sucking and lapping up the juices that were dripping out. moans and grunts escaping from your lips, and scara tried catching up with his breathing. he let out a sigh, his breath escaping in pants. wet patches staining the bedsheets.

getting off of him, you plop your worn out body next to his. "enjoy?" gently removing the restraints, you tenderly caress his soft cheeks "yeah, whatever." chuckling before kissing his lips. "im tired. lets sleep now." he would mutter out before snuggling himself to your neck. cuddling him to sleep. you guys were exhausted already and you could always clean up the next day. scara forgot all about kazuha, now his worries were gone.

requests open!

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Celebrating You- Auston Matthews

A/N: Hi everyone here is a happy playoff win smut for Auston. I know things aren’t looking so hot for the leafs right now so figured I better post it now before shit gets too depressing. Enjoy!

"Baby I'm so proud of you!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around him as my husband Auston came walking over to me. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you babe." He said hugging me back.

He didn't seem all that excited and I was confused until he held my face and gave me a kiss that said it all. He was happy and excited he just didn't want to show everyone.

"Do you have team stuff you have to do?" 

"Nope. I already did the mandatory stuff. Some of the guys are going to a bar."

"Do you want to go?" I asked, anticipation building.

"No." He said giving me another intense kiss.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"Let's go back to the hotel?"

"I'm in." I said taking his hand and leading the way out.

Auston got an Uber and the ride there could not end quick enough. The tension was insane and it took everything in me to not rip his clothes off in that car. I could tell he felt the same by the way his fingers were playing with and under the hem of my shorts. The scorching looks didn't help either as I could feel wetness starting to pool in my underwear as the ride continued through the traffic of Tampa.

Once we got to the hotel Auston got us out of the car and rushed, pushing me lightly towards the door. Not that he needed to. I was moving pretty quickly, desperation fueling my movements. He took my hand and led the way to the elevator. We had to be appropriate in the elevator though because someone else got in with us. They didn't bother us or anything but besides a kiss on the head and a squeeze of my hand we couldn't do anything which was agonizing as dramatic as that sounds.

We walked briskly through the hotel hallways on our way to the room. We got there and he fumbled with the door for a second before he finally got it open and pulled me inside. Once we were inside he pushed me up against the wall and his tongue was in my mouth in a heated kiss.

"Did you see my goal?" He asked as he broke away to take my shirt off.

"I did Aus, it was such a good goal." I kissed him again but he broke away again.

"We won."

"You did. I'm so proud of you and the way you played. My man was incredible out there." I said lowering to my knees in front of him, fumbling with his pants before successfully getting them down his thighs. "I've never seen you so focused and ready to win."

I took him in my hand and rubbed him a few times as he groaned. I put the tip on my tongue and swirled it around before taking as much of him as I could.

"Make you horny seeing me win like that?" He whispered, holding my chin to look up at him.

"Mhmm." I whined around him, sending vibrations down his dick.

"You're making me feel so good baby. As much as I love seeing you with your mouth full I want to stuff a different hole right now so how about you get those clothes off and we'll take it to the bed?" 

"Okay." I said nodding and taking off my shorts as we both went over to the bed.

"Lay down my pretty baby." He murmured, giving me another deep, searing kiss. "I wanna celebrate with you."

"Me too Aus, I want you so bad."

"How bad?" He teased with a grin climbing up the bed on top of me.

"Desperate for you to be in me right now. Feel." He rubbed his tip through my lips and groaned. "All that from you tonight."

"You're so wet babe, all for me?"

"All for you." I pulled his down to kiss him.

It didn't take long for the kisses to get more desperate. He put just the tip in as we kisses and I moaned trying to get more of him in me but he stopped me pulling out completely. He started kissing down my neck and left marks on my chest.

"Auston please."

"Can I go raw? I really want to feel you tonight."

"What about babies?"

"I wouldn't be mad watching you swell up with my kid. In fact I think I'd like it."

"Okay."

"Okay? You're sure?"

"Of course. I love you and want you so bad. Creampie me Aus."

"I will baby don't you worry. I'll give you exactly what you want. Take care of you."

"Please baby, I need it. Wanna make you feel good for playing so well."

"Thank you pretty baby." He leaned forward to capture my lips again and he slid his hard dick into me as I moaned into the kiss. "Such a good girl."

He started at a slow pace that gained momentum as we went. Soon his thrusts were hard and all you could hear was slapping skin along with our moans and groans. He kept up with that pace and I was a mess. He felt so good and I loved having him like this, really letting loose. Would I have bruises in the morning, sure. But it felt too good right now to even think of asking him to stop.

"Good God, look at you. You're doing such a good job baby. Feel so good. I'm not gonna last."

"Cum for me Auston. Cum in me please. Want it."

His hips thrust harder into me as he chased his high. The rhythm started to falter and I knew that meant he was closer. He held me tight and groaned roughly in my ear as he bit my neck to try and keep quieter as he spilled inside me.

"You feel so good."

"I love you."

"Love you too baby, thank you." He gave me a soft kiss as he pulled out of me. "I really want to go again."

"Already?" I asked laughing.

"You do things to me babe."

"We'll go as many rounds as you want my love. We're celebrating you tonight."

[backsideattackkkk]

john ladue's journal entry from 7/24/13 (first journal entry). translating as much phrases as I can:

"how shameful I was. it wasn't even shameful goddamn it, it was FUCKING PATHETIC!! how I used to live on this hellhole. that was before I realized the truth. life has no meaning. it's this game we play. the only thing that separates me from them is that I know that. I don't care who you are, if you disagree with me on that then you are a damn fool. nobody exists to do anything. I wish life were never created. I wish me and everything was fucking dead. all we do is cause problems, and even if there were problems without life nobody would care about them. death is the best way to go. everyone sees death as scary. i see it as bliss. a place where no one worries, no one is sad, no fucking problems...death is nothing. just something about it makes me want to kill myself now. but not yet, I must do something before I go. I have been planning it for a while and I have started buying items for it, i'm gonna kill and kill and kill. not for fame. I don't give a shit if I get in the news or not. I am doing it out of HATE. hate for all the fucking assholes everywhere. fucking living monstrosities are what they are. I shudder to think that I am the same species of them. but I am a step higher than them. I know I am gonna die when I do this, but I [illegible] that. I will not give up to the SWAT or cops. they will kill me or I will kill myself. it will be the best day of my life. my plan is to kill my family, generate a huge fire in a field for distraction, drive [illegible], put [illegible] shit top of bombs in the cafeteria during lunch, and then go to the library. if I am still alive when I am done with the [illegible], I will go back to the cafeteria and finish off [everyone? surveillance? overall: illegible]. I'm gonna get a job to buy a 12 gauge and a rifle/handgun from one of my friends(?). I'm gonna [illegible] off the gauge and [illegible] back. if I get a rifle I DO NOT want something like an AR-15 or WASR-10. I wanna show that you.."

note: ladue made the mention in his interrogation that he did not want to use any semi-automatic guns to show that you could "still get the job done" (referring to his attack) without them.

entry from his journal without known date, translation:

"if I would want to live in it. because, honestly, I just want to GTFO of this place. I guess I just don't care for being alive. and my situation isn't too bad. I have a good school, a good town, I don't think I have ever been actually bullied even though I said I was in that one entry, yet I really wasn't, and I don't have abusive parents. yet, my motives are for fun, because you guys are fucking annoying, and because my idol, reb did this. seriously that guy was so fucking awesome. sucks ass that he's dead. oh by the way, my school was not on alert at all. it was talked for about 5 mins and that was the end of it. no extra cops or anything. which makes me glad. so, my to do list consists new of - *steal shotgun + saw off + add pump & grip and new pump. *buy 2 pcs and make the devices with them. *if needed, buy some more nails for shrapnel *buy pipe, same size as the others with end caps *buy lantern fuel, also sight in SKS sight *get storage locker *kill everybody. <- not a skrillex(?) reference (i'm not writing the last part out. he quotes harris from hitmen from hire. why? i don't know.)"

notes:

ladue said he had an 180 page notebook, in his bedroom, detailing his plans for explosives, firearms and ammunition. he journaled his thoughts, to-do lists, supply lists, successes and failures with experimentation with different explosives and learned through trial and error. he listed what changes to make to the bombs, he had labels regarding the school's security and sprinkle system at the school. his first journal entry was in july 24, 2013 and his last one at april 27, 2014.

taken from court file:

in his journal, he made references to other school shootings, such as columbine, virginia tech, and sandy hook. ladue idolized harris and made several references to both harris and klebold, the perpetrators involved in the columbine school shooting. he critiqued what harris and klebold did right and wrong during the columbine school shooting. over the nine month time span in the journal, ladue never changed his plan of first killing his family members, starting a fire in rural waseca county to lure away and occupy first responders, detonating bombs, near the cafeteria during second lunch hour, to injure/kill students that would lure school liaison officer chrz, kill chrz, then kill as many students as he could. ladue did make changes to his plans as to the exact components and chemicals to use to manufacture the explosive devices he planned to use...

a grand majority of his journal is about the bombs, taken from court file:

excerpts from journal according to the free press:

"I don't care if you are my best friend or my family. I'm not gonna hesitate to pull the trigger on your dumbass. Well, I might taunt you a bit before I shoot you but I'm definitely not letting you off the hook" "I just fucking hate everyone." - he wrote frequently "A.B.K." - in his journal, which stands for "always be killing."

around august of 2014 ladue's journal itself was sealed after a 10 minute hearing and has not yet been unsealed. the full 180 pages will probably never be released to the public.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄: Submission w/ Sub!Dean Winchester

a/n: i must admit, i had a blast writing this, embarrassingly enough. i wanna thank you all for your constant support, i have gained so many interactions since starting this account!

masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3

Dean Winchester's tough guy persona was complete bullshit. You knew what he was like behind doors, that he liked to be bossed around and told what to do, to be forced to kiss the ground you walk on without cumming his pants.

You weren't mean, but tonight, Dean had pushed your buttons, and everyone else's, really. He knew that the one thing you hated most was when he acted like a brat, not taking how he was treating everyone into consideration. You knew you'd have to be extra rough with him tonight to set him straight. The whole ride home Dean knew that he had as in for it.

“Down.” You said coldly, pushing him down by his shoulder with your foot. You had been like this for hours, Dean on his hands and knees, practical begging to eat you out as you had your glistening wet cunt out and teasing.

“Please..” He whimpered, his voice deep and raspy. “No, Dean. You were bad. Bad boys don't get to taste me.” You dug your heel into his shoulder, Dean wincing at the added pain of your boot.

“It's not my fault they were being stupid.” He muttered. That only added fuel to his punishment as you leaned down to grip his face with a singular hand, the sheer force of your squeezing caused his lips to jutt out into a little kissy face. “You,” You spat in faux disgust, “Need to learn how to play well with others, because how will I know if you won't treat me the same?” You finished with a pout, lips turned down as he stared up at you.

He wanted so badly to say something, to prove to you over and over again that he wasn't the same rude boy that he was to Sam & Castiel, that had never treat you the same.

“What if I just threw you away, hm? What good are you to me if you're being useless? Maybe I'll go fuck another good boy that has better manners.” Dean was trembling at your words, you both knew you weren't being serious, but it never failed to get him off.

“No, no, no please, I'll be good I swear, please..” Tears pricked in his eyes as he begged, attempting to speak through puffed cheeks pathetically. “I don't know…” You hummed, your hand leaving his cheeks to stroke through his hair. “You've said you would numerous times, how do I know if I can trust what you're saying?”

“Be—because I'll prove it to you, ‘make you feel so good please.” He nuzzled into your hand when it fell to his cheek. Smirking, you slapped him lightly.

“Kiss my boot.” That was a start. He flew to grip it, placing a kiss from your toe to your heal up to your calf. He stopped just below your knee. He hadn't gotten permission yet. “See, now that's how you be a good boy.” Even though it sounded like you were praising him, in reality your tone was condescending, like it is as the most obvious thing in the world.

“You really promise me?” You looked into his eyes. “Yes ma'am, I promise.” He said, placing a kiss on your inner knee. You leaned back on your hands and spread your legs fully, your leather skirt riding up to expose your soaked black laced panties that you saved for occasions such as this.

“Then get to work.”

[mamirhodessxox]

Hey There Delilah Incorrect Quotes.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Jey: If we’re in trouble, just throw Cody at the problem, and hope for the best.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Seth: *slams books down in front of Cody*

Seth: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Cody: You could of said literally anything else.

Seth: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Cody: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Seth: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Seth: One... two... three.

Cody: ...

Seth: ...

Seth: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Cody: Okay, looking good. Okay, ciders mulling, turkey’s turking, yams are yamming … What?

Mira: I don’t know. It’s just not the same without Randy in the kitchen.

Cody: All right, that’s it. Just get out of my way and stop annoying me.

Mira: That’s closer.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Seth, playing a video game: This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

Randy: Ok, I think it’s time to turn off the game for a little while.

Seth: But I’m having fun!

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy*

Seth: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Mira: No, Seth. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

Seth: No, that’s not part of it—

Mira: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Jey: I would want to live with no legs.

Mira: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Jey. You don’t do anything.

Seth: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Mira: *pumps frantically*

Seth: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Mira: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Cody: How’s that gonna help you?

Mira: I will divide and then count to it.

Cody: Right.

Seth: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Mira: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

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Cody: Does everyone know their job for today?

Delilah: Water the flowers.

Seth: Vacuum the carpet.

Mira: Wash the dishes.

Randy: Pretend to be a wolverine.

Cody: Close enough.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Delilah, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?

Cody: …

Cody: What’s in the box?

Delilah: What woul-

Cody: Delilah, what’s in the box?

Delilah: I think you know.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Mira: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

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Seth: What do you want for breakfast, Randy?

Randy: Gay Cheerios.

Seth: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING FRUIT LOOPS THAT!!

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Rhea: ARE YOU-

Jey: Fucking.

Rhea: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Jey: Fucking.

Rhea: IDIOT!

Cody: …What was that?

Jey: Delilah banned Rhea from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Randy: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??

Cody: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

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Cody: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Delilah: Okay.

Cody: And make out during the scary parts.

Delilah: Th-

Delilah: The scary parts.

Delilah: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Delilah: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Randy: You guys worried about Mira?

Becky: Totally!

Cody: Yeah, they called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"

Randy: And what'd you say?

Cody: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."

Becky:

Randy: They're lucky to have you as a friend.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Randy: Deep down, I'm sure I was always pretty okay with you.

Mira: Thanks, Randy!

Randy: It wasn't a compliment, numbnuts.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

Delilah: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it.

Mira: …I was hungry.

🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸🌼🌸

🏷️ list: @ginswife @coolpastelartshoe @greatkoalawizard @cokolin044 @kotoriarlert @alicerosejensen @bunnybot55 @agent-dessis-posts @adollonyourshelf @valkyrurr @alyyaanna @niknakbucks92 @mini-rhodes @southerngirl41

[quixoticall]

This Could Get Ugly 3. The Rise and Subsequent Fall of Eddie Munson

Summary: It's 1983 and The Downsides need another lead singer and you just happen to need a band--it's a perfect match. The only issue? You have to pretend to be in a relationship with your bandmate, Steve Harrington, but you can't help but be drawn to the band's broody guitar player.

pairing: s.h. x fem!reader, e.m. x fem!reader, j.b. x n.w., r.b x n.w.

warnings: Heavy drug use, misogyny, angst, past!Eddie x Chrissy

MASTERLIST🎸

Previous Chapter 🎹

WC: 2.7K

A/N: Halloween came early this year I guess! Take this early chapter as a thank you all for your follows, reblogs and likes! The idea of my fic being so well-received warms my heart! Enjoy!

***

EDDIE: Okay, here we go.

 I’m Eddie Munson, lead guitar for The Downsides.

 I  grew up trailer trash in some town that no one’s ever heard of. My mom died when I was eight and my dad was in and out of jail pretty much my entire life--well, until those royalty checks started rolling in, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

  People always use the dead mom/jailbird dad thing to either turn me into a sob story or villainize me, so I generally tend to avoid talking about it but since it's you, I'll say this: the thing I remember most about my mother is her absence and there is not a single redeeming thing about ole' Munson Sr. but I don't think they're responsible for any of the ways I've fucked up over the years. Nah, kid, that was all me.

Let’s get to the good stuff, shall we?

At the tender age of ten, I was gifted an old beat-up guitar by my uncle. Clearly, something he had picked up at the local Goodwill to try and keep me occupied and out of trouble. The neighbors hated us after. They hated us, even more, when it turned out that I could actually play.

When I was 18, Uncle Wayne got the idea that I was ready to commit to a life of indentured servitude over at the factory and that did not sit well with me, at all. I wanted to be a musician. But, instead of talking to him about it, you know, like a rational person? I just ran.

I sold my van and got a one-way ticket to LA. The metal scene was starting to pop up on the strip and music—metal—was the only thing I was good at, so I thought, ‘what the hell!’ and booked it. I slummed it for a few months and then, through some stroke of luck, I heard about a band that was auditioning for a new guitar player since their last one got hitched and quit. The Metal Gods smiled down on me the day of the audition because that same afternoon they called me back and told me they wanted me on as lead guitar.

1982

“It Was You”, your duet with The Letterman’s peaked at number 6 on Billboard’s Top 100 in October of 1982.

Suddenly, everyone wanted you to be featured in their songs. Your EP did well enough, but it didn’t even crack the top 30. That didn’t keep you from being the hot new thing on the scene and a

huge part of that was your reputation.

Of course, people knew who you were because of your groupie days, and you unintentionally built a reputation for being romantically involved with different musicians. So, when you broke out on the scene with a romantic duet, people started talking, and the tabloids began to spin stories about you and Jason being romantically linked which only caused a buzz for the song. You, of course, hated this and vehemently denied being involved with Jason to anyone who would listen. Jason, meanwhile, played it coy with the press, only fueling the rumors and your rage.

“Listen, I hate the guy as much as you do, sweetheart, but you got to respect the strategy,” Murray had said after hearing you gripe about one particularly salacious headline.

Before the year was through, you had been featured in five other duets. All with male artists. All resulting in more and more outlandish dating rumors. And all enjoying a lengthy stay on the top of the charts.

Starcourt had begun to push you to take it a step further and Brenner had asked for Murray to arrange outings between you and whatever male artist you were collaborating with. The meetings—you refused to call them dates—were always somewhere that was strategically public, somewhere where there was always at least one paparazzi with their cameras locked and ready. The pictures they would take would always make it to at least one gossip magazine, which resulted in even more publicity for the song.

Your partners—you refused to call them dates—were, at their best, cordial and business-like, one or two of them even asked for your permission before holding your hand. At their worst, though, they were handsy, entitled, and rude. None of them ever tried to ask you out on a real date and you weren't sure what that said about you.

Soon you were racking up duets and notoriety in equal measures. Radio DJs would make jokes about you every time they would play one of your songs—and they played your songs a lot. Once, while you were walking around Rodeo, a woman stopped you in the middle of the street and told you, very brazenly, that you needed to stop sleeping around so much. Before you could even tell her off, though, she proceeded to gush about how much she loved your duet with The Letterman's.

It seemed like everyone seemed to see you in a similar light though: they thought you were some sort of despicable maneater but all they wanted was more of a reason to talk about how you were a despicable maneater.

Murray had his work cut out for him, “We just need to find a way for you to have this same buzz all the time.”

***

EDDIE: Things started to pick up with Corroded Coffin. We were playing shows pretty much every night.  As I said, metal was on the rise and we were at the forefront. Eventually, record label bigwigs had no choice but to acknowledge that.

Some of them got smart and started poaching bands early on, like Starcourt. Corroded Coffin signed with them in ‘82. We thought we were hot shit after that.

There’s a certain lifestyle that goes along with that, though, you know? A reputation that you have to uphold.

I'm not trying to make excuses for myself here, trust me. I'm just...trying to explain myself.

People always love to talk shit. They'll call you all sorts of names before they see you as an actual person. Trust me, I would know. But, these interviews are an opportunity to set the record straight, to finally be seen as an actual person.

So, there I was, a nineteen-year-old kid from Bumfuck nowhere, finally making it big, finally feeling like I belonged somewhere--like for the first time I wasn't a freak whose mom died or some trailer trash high school dropout--of course, I was gonna get swept up in it all. Of course, I was going to start picking up the bad habits and doing drugs. There was no one there to tell me otherwise.

It started out as something to get us through the madness that was our schedule: between the live shows and the studio time, we needed uppers just to keep us on our feet. Then, obviously, you needed the downers so you could fucking relax because the uppers made you so tense. 

I stopped enjoying the drugs pretty early on, but at that point quitting wasn't something that I was willing to put that much effort into. 

1983

The first time someone asked for your autograph, you were at a show at Whiskey a Go Go. Murray, acting as a sort of manager, had set up a photo opp with Charles Riva, your latest duet partner. He hadn’t shown that night but you never walked away from a live show.

Two girls, not much younger than you, appeared behind you as you were ordering at the bar and tapped you on the shoulder.

“See, I told you it was her,” the shorter one, a strawberry blonde with severe bangs whispered excitedly to her friend, a taller brunette.

Before you could ask either of them exactly what they wanted, the strawberry blonde spoke again, “Can we have your autograph?”

You could only nod dumbly as they handed you a cocktail napkin and a pen. You tried to think of something meaningful to write, but in your shock, could only come up with “Best wishes, xoxo”. You didn’t even ask them their names. The best you could do was offer to buy them a drink, which they happily accepted.

You regretted the offer as soon as you registered how young they looked underneath all that makeup, an observation that made you unsettlingly sad. You were reminded of your first days on the Strip: lonely and young and wanting someone to notice you for the right reasons.

Your thoughts became too heavy to deal with at that particular moment and you abruptly excused yourself, leaving the two confused girls behind. A shame, you thought to yourself, in another life you might’ve all been friends, but no one really wants to be your friend these days. They just want to tell people they’re your friends. Walking away saves everyone the disappointment.

You needed a drink.

By the time the main act had taken the stage, your vision had started to haze at the edges as a result of the multiple drinks you had procured for yourself. You watched, half-interested as a band you’d never heard of, Corroded Coffin took the stage, your eyes tracing after each member, eyeing the things only a fellow musician would: the models of equipment they had, the way the band queued each other up.

You didn't know enough about metal yet to know whether you'd consider yourself a fan or not but even with the little familiarity you have, you can tell this band is good. Their playing is unpolished but overflowing with energy and the crowd is feeding into it, screaming the lyrics along with the lead singer.

All of it reminds you of your first show at the Strip—what seemed ages ago—and that memory summons a whole other thought entirely: the reason that you had gotten into music was to actually make music you liked, not to be a topic of discussion in a gossip magazine, getting no say in the music you created.

You don't even remember the last time you had even written a lyric.

You think to yourself that maybe you should wander backstage after the show, like you once did and talk to the band. Maybe you could pick their brains about songwriting. They clearly didn’t care about mass appeal if they were making metal music which means they were probably doing it for the art.

At the very least they probably had a decent stash of pills.

Either way, it would be worth it.

***

EDDIE: It was pretty much love, at first sight, the moment I saw her in the crowd that night at Whiskey a Go Go. I remember seeing her for the first time halfway through our set and it was like I went blind for a moment. I had completely forgotten what I was doing, I think I even missed a cue. After the show, I made a beeline for the bar where she was standing, trying to act as cool as I could but I was shitting it.

***

Once that band had wrapped up, you made your way to the dressing rooms. You maneuvered to the dressing rooms like you had dozens of times before, but the band wasn’t there.

You milled about for a bit, before growing bored and leaving wondering if maybe they had seen you coming and left.

***

EDDIE: I ordered a drink just as an excuse to get closer and it worked. She was even more beautiful up close and so, so kind. Told me she loved our show and even pointed out specific guitar solos of mine that she liked. She always had a way of making you feel special like that. Chrissy Fucking Cunningham. Even her name was perfect, not a syllable too few or too many.

I asked her for her number that night and we went on a date two days later, I could hardly keep it.

together having to wait two days to see her again. Then, after a few weeks, we were going steady, as the kids say. It was perfect. I never really had anyone to myself, you know? She was the first person that ever made me feel seen and cared about.

I remember one time; she was hanging out at my place while the band was in the studio. When I came back, she had done all my laundry. When I asked her why she had done that, she just said “I dunno, just because” then, all of a sudden there were tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something like that for me “just because".

My life had never been better--so of course, I fucked it up.

***

While you did not manage to meet Corroded Coffin, you couldn’t stop thinking about them, even days later. It was like seeing them play had awoken you from a daze you didn’t even know you had been in.

You spend a few days getting incredibly drunk by the pool after that. But no matter how much you drank or how many pretty dresses you bought yourself or how many pill you took, you could not shake the feeling.

A few mornings later, you had called Murray, “This stops now, Murray. No more duets or features or whatever else. I want to meet with Brenner. I want to do this my way.”

Murray, not used to being awake so early, gave a weak attempt at talking you down.

“No,” you urged on, “you said once I started making money, I could have a say. Well, now I’m making money and I’m tired of Starcourt just using me for that. So, I want something permanent and I want to write my own music, got it?”

“You have a contract,” Murray parroted back, half-heartedly.

“Yes, I do, and I plan to honor that contract but so help me God I will make life a living hell for you and for Brenner and any other exec that tries to get me to do another duet with Jason fucking Carver. In fact, I will find a way to lose Starcourt money if you don’t get me out of this. Am I clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Great, I’ll see you at lunch Murray.”

He signed, “See you then.”

***

EDDIE: My drug use was getting more out of hand. Chrissy hated it, but I couldn't bring myself to quit. Especially the things that I thought I needed to make it through the day.

Chrissy was a saint throughout the whole thing, until one night when she caught me in the dressing room of Whiskey with a girl who was not her. She walked away and I don’t really blame her. Out of all the regrets of my life—and trust me, kid—that was one of the biggest.

She moved out that day and refused to take my calls, moved in with one of her friends and I spent days just calling her, sending her flowers, the works.

She told me she wouldn’t budge unless I got clean. So, I checked myself into rehab. She was a good enough reason to quit. 45 days later, I checked out, clean as a motherfucking whistle.

Chrissy was gone though, I had no clue where she had disappeared to, but wherever she went, she didn’t want me to find her.

On top of that, my band was fucking pissed. I left the band for 45 days without telling anyone, right as we were finishing recording our debut album. Yeah, they weren’t happy. I was in something called “breach of contract” with the suits over at record label and they wanted to take me to court, and not the Star kind.

I definitely didn’t have lawsuit type of money back then, so it was in my best interest to work something out with Starcourt and jump back on fulfilling my contract. Problem was, Corroded Coffin didn’t want me back anymore, even though the guy they replaced me with wasn’t half as good as I was.

I thought that because my old band didn’t want me, that meant that I would be free of my contract. I was wrong. What actually happened was that my fate was then put into Starcourt’s hands and they could place me in whatever podunk production or band they wanted. They owned my ass.

And that’s how I ended up with The Downsides.

NEXT CHAPTER 🎺🎹

Taglist: @rexorangecouny

[theminecraftbee]

being in ur impulse feelings while im in my bdubs feelings is so crazy bc in 3L bdubs wanted to trust impulse so bad but He wouldnt commit to the Crastle in any way that satisfied him. for bdubs it also wasnt abt the clock, it was that scar got to play off of bdubs Need to devote himself to someone First. Impulse just got there too late.

Then in DL impulse got the pleasure of being the first in line to recieve that loyalty. and etho was trying to undermine it and bdubs still Wanted Etho. <- goes crazy over this

NOW with Rentheking Bdubs is sticking by his side despite being overtly grating and unpopular. I want to predict that bdubs will attempt to Ghost the king bc that is the move of a guy who wants to wring every drop of Use out of a relationship but doesn't want to go thru the annoying motions of a real breakup. which somehow manages to ride the line of doing what impulse wants politcally but not what he wants personally ... which is either a confrontation or a team up with bdubs for old times sake... -girltimeswithscar

YEAH LIKE. OKAY. from everyone else's pov you SEE impulse is coming across as shifty. hell TWO OF HIS DEATHS ARE FRIENDLY FIRE. one of them is scott who did not know impulse was on the crastle's side at all and therefore their side. then the other one, of course, is the clock. and like, it's about the clock. it's about scar being able to give bdubs this symbol. but you're right for BOTH OF THEM it was never about the clock it's about impulse thinking a promise at the start of the story is enough to still be believes at the end and about bdubs never getting the commitment that bdubs would have given.

and like. yeah. in double life etho is trying to homewreck the homewreckers a little bit and bdubs is just like. impulse is the first to get the loyalty this time. but the cracks start to show. and like.

okay. i think bdubs is like... devoted to the idea of devotion. he is devoted to this Ideal of a person he can absolutely give his whole self to. (he loves me.) but like, impulse doesn't show his devotion like that. impulse's devotion was trying to be friends with everyone, but friends with them first, where bdubs's devotion is that there is only One Guy for him and the rest is auxiliary, and. they're SO CLOSE. they're so close to working out in double life. and sure, the universe has forced it, but they are so close to working out but they're still. at the end the death message shows bdubs stabbing him. and maybe it was a glitch. and maybe it was not. and can impulse really trust bdubs anymore? and did bdubs ever really devote himself to impulse, or was he devoted to the idea of that mid-century modern house and a pool and someone to gossip with? i like to think maybe they worked but at the same time it's like. i think they were happy. i think they needed to be, though. is that the same thing.

(it was never about the clock for either of them.)

and that last paragraph is driving me a little insane because i can SEE IT. i can see this time being the time bdubs actually goes through with the scheming part of being scheming as an advisor. of losing that ideal he's devoted to and leaving. but like. YEAH. that would be want impulse wants politically (the king's court falling apart) but not what he wants like, emotionally. and like. idk man

i am thinking about them tonight and you are fueling this

[umgeorge]

george russell is interviewed after qualifying, australia - march 23, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Natalie: "George Russell has walked very quickly from the back of the pen, behind Oscar Piastri there, to join us now! George, a bit of a mixed weekend for the team. How do you reflect on your qualifying today?" George: "Yeah, of course it wasn't the qualifying we were probably hoping for, but it's so tight out there and tomorrow there's gonna be so many unknowns-thard tire nobody's been on yet-and I think we'll be seeing a bit more of an exciting race here than we usually see." Naomi: "George, we heard from Lewis in the pen saying that the car felt as if it's on a knife edge and that's why we're seeing such mixed results from you guys. What are you experiencing in the car? Do you share the same sentiment as Lewis?" George: "From my side, it's… I've been feeling a bit more confident and consistency with the car on my side of the garage. We know where we need to improve; that's the high speed corners, and in Melbourne there's quite a few of those high speed corners, so I think we'll be in a much better place tomorrow when we've got the fuel in the car and the pace is a little bit slower from everybody. But yeah, this circuit's definitely not playing to our strengths." Karun: "George, everyone seems slightly surprised at the amount of tire deg from the long runs yesterday in practice. We're two days of evolution into the race. Do you still think that's gonna be an issue? Are we still looking at two stops, rather than the one-stop we perhaps expected from last year?" George: "Yeah, I think the soft and the medium's gonna be a really difficult tire tomorrow, but the hard is a real unknown. I think we saw the medium tire in Jeddah, which is the hard tire this week, can perform really well, but as I said the fact is nobody knows because nobody's ran it, so the team on the pitwall are gonna have to be really dynamic to see the tire deg and we're gonna have to be feeding back a lot to let them know how the tire's feeling." Naomi: "George, just a last one from me. I just wanna pick back up on what you were saying about your experience being slightly different on your side of the garage. Just for us to understand better, what does that come down to? Is that because you guys are running slightly different setups, or is it just because you demand something slightly different from the car than what Lewis does?" George: "I'm not too sure, to be honest. From my side, I'm just focused on myself, focused on my team and trying to maximize it, so to be honest I can't really comment on Lewis' feelings. But ultimately, as I said before, we're not quite where we wanna be. But we had a strong qualifying in Bahrain, P3, and if it wasn't for the problems in the race we would have been fighting for a podium. P5 in the race in Jeddah, so P7 is not ideal, but there's definitely a lot to play for tomorrow, and all to play for."

[freelanceexorcist]

FFVII Rebirth spoilers under the cut.

OK, so I was off the mark in a good bit of my speculation about Ore and Watashi Sephiroth. Way, way off the mark for some of it.

And from now on, I’ll identify the two as Glenniroth for who he was impersonating most of the time and Jenovaroth for who he has latched onto and is probably in a scenario where one doesn’t know where he ends and she begins.

I’m sticking with my feeling that Glenniroth is Chaotic Neutral, just currently on the darker end of the moral spectrum. I thought I would be bummed if this turned out to be the case, but it’s the opposite. I love this version of him. Like, a lot. He’s so deliciously wicked I just can’t help myself. The verbal evisceration of Rufus? The sarcastic clapping at the end? Using Terms of Endangerment on Cloud? Making him bring it in just to fuck with his head? Sassy, manipulative and rage-fueled Sephiroth is the Sephiroth I never knew I wanted so badly.

Jenovaroth? He’s cooked. Blotto. Pants-on-head fried. His eggs are well and truly scrambled. Not even playing the same sport as his pre-Nibelheim self, let alone being in the same league. And there’s no coming back from even a little of that. However…

He does cartoonishly over-the-top horrible and evil things, yes. But is he truly evil in the purest sense? See, that’s not a word I like to use lightly and I reserve it for the types of characters who do heinous things because it gratifies them or because of greed. There’s a difference between an antagonist killing a shit ton of people with names and dialogue in service of a cause they think is worth it and someone doing it because they get off on it or because they profit from it. And then, of course, there’s the Chaotic Evil alignment. If Jenova is a member of the Gi tribe like she’s implied to be to me, that complicates the issue. More on this later.

Before I continue, I should explain how I interpret Chaotic Neutral in fiction outside D&D.

A Chaotic Neutral character’s motivation is freedom, but I think it’s also survival. They are unfettered. They don’t give a fuck. They align with anyone who can help them get the job done and help them stay alive, and don’t concern themselves with these people’s moral standing. They are morally dubious themselves. They may align themselves with either the good guys or the bad guys just so see what it feels like. The lighter ones may operate by a personal code of conduct or honor, but the ones on the darker end of the spectrum-which is where I think Glenniroth currently is-tend not to.

Torching Nibelheim was a horrible thing to do and something he can’t take back. So was killing everyone else’s pretend girlfriend in his universe, wherever that may be. But the point of divergence for him appears to be that he either didn’t cleave to Jenova, or at some point broke away from her.

See, I think it’s the former, because a common trait of Chaotic Neutral characters is that they can be solitary. They don’t need anyone else. They may have friends and people that they like, but they prefer to go their own way on their own terms.

With Glenniroth, we don’t know how his version of Nibelheim went down, so it could be that he was thinking of all the people who betrayed and abandoned him, disabused himself of the notion that Jenova would never do the same, and said “you know what? Fuck you, too” when he was halfway up the mountain. And off he went to do whatever he wanted.

Along the way, perhaps he also abandoned the notion that he was Cetra. After all, when was the last time he heard the planet speak? The scientists must have been mistaken about what they found in the rock layer. So much to his dismay, he realizes that while he is different from everyone else, he is human.

This doesn’t make him feel any better, because he hates most other humans now. To him, they’re his abusers and his manipulators. They’re the ones who kept him on a leash, used him, tortured him as a child, treated him like a piece of meat or made him an object of mindless hero worship and unachievable expectations. He can count on one hand all of the people in his life that he thought he could rely on, and all of them either died or turned their backs on him. The world’s small towns are safe from him for now, though, because he’d die happy if he never had to interact with anyone again.

His act in Nibelheim didn’t burn away his sadness, loneliness, compassion, kindness or loyalty. Those things aren’t gone forever, they’re just in a cellar with no stairs in the bottom of a locked file cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying “beware of leopard.” They’re shoved so far down inside him, James Cameron would have to get into one of his submersibles and hit bottom in order to find them again. Now he’s a 6’6” mountain of disdain and spite, and it shows in all of the interactions we see.

But along the way, while enjoying the blissful solitude that comes from extreme misanthropy and not giving a fuck, he finds out that the planet is dying. He wouldn’t have known this before, because why would Shinra ever tell him that? Why would they even care as long as it was all black in the ledger? Those survival instincts kick in, and his mission is now to save the planet. Not because of any newfound caring or respect for humans, but because if it dies, he has to wander a barren husk as a displaced ghost until the heat death of the universe. He says so himself in the Edge of Creation.

Much to what is most certainly his dismay, he realizes he needs humans. Or more to the point, he needs to use humans for his plan to save the planet to work. He needs to eliminate Shinra, and decides that another war between Wutai and Shinra is what will do it. And it will be so huge and devastating that the people will come together out from under Shinra’s thumb and heal the world. And this time, the shoe is on the other foot, because Sephiroth’s about to become the demon of Midgar. Shinra’s going down. Surely Lord Godo and any surviving Wutai soldiers would be willing to bury the hatchet long enough to see that happen so they can rebuild.

Now, this isn’t him having an I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing moment, oh no. Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people will die, but eh. Not his problem. That’s food for the Lifestream that will sustain the planet a little while longer. That’s all that matters. All he needs to do is rattle some sabers, plant a few false flags and voila, humans will be chomping at the bit to do what they do best: kill, hurt and betray each other. Out of that could come the unity needed to reject mako, find a more sustainable source of energy and leave the planet alone so she can recover.

This isn’t to say that this version of Sephiroth is permanently on the darker edge of morality. The thing about Chaotic Neutral characters, is that their moral fluidity can sometimes solidify given certain circumstances. Don’t get me wrong, the man he was before Nibelheim is gone. I think the best we’re going to see from him is some kind of anti-hero, and I’m not talking about the cool 90s kind. We’re talking more Byronic Hero from this guy or one of the darker dishes on the Anti-Hero menu. That’s sometimes what happens to these types of characters in fiction, and it can make them even more interesting, not less, because there’s a chance for real character development. He’ll still be a dick, of course, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Assuming that’s what’s happening in Glenniroth’s case, of course. They could throw us yet another curveball and have him in cahoots with Jenovaroth for all we know. That doesn’t seem likely, though, as their goals don’t align.

I’ll end this now, because I’ve rambled long enough. Thank you for reading if you chose to do so. Maybe I’ll post the next part about Jenovaroth, maybe I won’t. It all depends on how I feel when I get home after that fuckwit from Field Services has had another go at me on email and Teams messages. I went to a good school, but that school wasn’t Hogwarts, Karen.